1 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 1: Any you know what that music? See? Yes, Sir, amos 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,119 that music say good health to all from. 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 2: Rex All. 4 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: The Amos Rani Show Transcribed Written by Joe Connelly and 5 00:00:24,839 --> 00:00:29,280 Bob Moser, featuring Ernestine Wade, Johnny Lee, Amanda Randolph, Roy Glenn, 6 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,240 Jean vander Pile, Jeff Alexander's Music, Yours Truly, Harlow Wilcox 7 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:38,079 and starring Radios all time favorites Fraeman Gosden and Charles 8 00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:49,960 Carrell Amos Randy, How do you do, Ladies and gentlemen? 9 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,960 I am Freeman Gosden. This coming Wednesday, rex Al's big 10 00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:57,640 one sense sale begins. This is the famous sale where 11 00:00:57,679 --> 00:01:01,119 you get two guaranteed rex All products for the price 12 00:01:01,119 --> 00:01:05,599 of one plus a penny. It's a marvelous opportunity for 13 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,719 you to stock up on your drug store needs for 14 00:01:07,879 --> 00:01:11,000 months to come, and on every item you buy you 15 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,319 get twice as much for just a penny more So, 16 00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:18,200 this week Wednesday through Saturday, be sure to shop and 17 00:01:18,439 --> 00:01:22,040 save at your friendly rex Al drug store. It's rex 18 00:01:22,079 --> 00:01:34,000 Al's great one cent sale. 19 00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:34,519 Speaker 2: Well. 20 00:01:34,599 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: This afternoon finds Andy Brown, of all places, at an 21 00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:42,239 exhibit of modern art over on Lenox Avenue, right now 22 00:01:42,239 --> 00:01:45,719 he's standing in front of a large impressionistic painting, trying 23 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:51,359 to make heads or tails of it. Mmm, venus descenen staircase. 24 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:56,680 That ain't nothing but just a mesa color. That painting 25 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,000 looked like the Kings fishes sealing the time we was 26 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,879 cooking the spaghetia meat balls and the pressure cooker blowed up. 27 00:02:04,719 --> 00:02:08,479 Speaker 3: Well, I guess that it is lovely, isn't it? 28 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 2: Oh? 29 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: I don't think it's very I don't believe it ain't. 30 00:02:12,159 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 2: Uh. 31 00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 3: Hell no, I noticed you admiring this painting. I'm the 32 00:02:20,479 --> 00:02:22,360 model that posed for it. 33 00:02:22,599 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 1: You mean to say that you are somewhere in this message? 34 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 3: Yes, I posed at the artist studio for three weeks. 35 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,319 Speaker 1: Oh well, that explains why it turned out so bad. 36 00:02:33,039 --> 00:02:35,520 But a honey baby like you in the room. Wonder 37 00:02:35,599 --> 00:02:40,879 he got anything on the canvas at all? White house. Yeah. Well, 38 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,879 now need to make my acquaintanceship with you. I as 39 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,319 Andy Brown, the well known single bachelor. 40 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 3: Well, how do you do? My name is Constance, Constance Lamar. 41 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: That's a pretty name, Constance. I always like that. Back 42 00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:02,599 on my father's farm, my favorite hog's name was Constance. 43 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 2: That's nice. 44 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 3: I guess you were fond of her. 45 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Constance living a chair. He's you the gal 46 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,759 that I see on the calendars and on the magazine covers. Constants. 47 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,520 Yeah yeah, well Constance, I I was, I was. 48 00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:27,759 Speaker 3: Uh I is there something wrong? 49 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:28,759 Speaker 2: I don't know. 50 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,439 Speaker 1: I'll tell you one thing. I never felt this way 51 00:03:31,439 --> 00:03:40,639 around the hog. You say that you as a model. 52 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 3: Huh, Well, I pose occasionally, but I'm also studying art. 53 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 54 00:03:45,719 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: Well, uh tell me something about maybe maybe some night. Well, uh, 55 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,439 if you ain't busy, why maybe uh you and me 56 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,360 could step out next Wednesday they happened Ladies' night at 57 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:58,919 the pool Hall. 58 00:04:00,919 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I'm awfully busy with my posing 59 00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:07,560 and my art studies. To tell you the truth, I 60 00:04:07,599 --> 00:04:09,680 wouldn't know how to go about recreation. 61 00:04:10,879 --> 00:04:16,199 Speaker 1: H shake hands with the old athletic director. 62 00:04:27,439 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 4: George, can't they Stevens come in here. I want to 63 00:04:29,639 --> 00:04:30,000 speak to you. 64 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:35,879 Speaker 1: Oh the bullmoose is calling to us me. What is it? 65 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,319 My charming sweetheart? 66 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 5: George, Me and Mama ran into Andy Brown on the 67 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:40,600 street today. 68 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:42,759 Speaker 1: Yeah. 69 00:04:42,959 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 6: I had never seen such a sad, lovesick expression since 70 00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:48,639 back hold when our old beagle try to. 71 00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:50,519 Speaker 4: Salute you in a parcket Pine. 72 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, the boy is really infatuated up with that model 73 00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:00,319 Constance Lamar. He bought the picture of her from the museum. Yeah, 74 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,920 he mopes over it all day. Venus descending the staircase. 75 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 6: I shall feel sorry for Andy. 76 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: I see that gal slashing him. 77 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 6: Down the streets, showing off a figure. 78 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,759 Speaker 1: She ain't nothing but a hussy. Now listen, Mama, just 79 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,759 cause you was an old burnt out front of us 80 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:23,920 full of clinkers, don't knock rady and get it. I 81 00:05:24,079 --> 00:05:25,399 still say she's a hussy. 82 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,319 Speaker 6: I look all right too if I wore one of 83 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,279 them Lamb's wool sweaters and used all them make up 84 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,519 creams on my face. 85 00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 1: Now listen, Mama. He gets the wool for them to 86 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,680 sweaters from a sheep, and he gets the landland for 87 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,680 the fierce creams from a sheep. But Mama, you could 88 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,639 take a sheep and share it, skin it, stew it, 89 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,600 and brew it, and that animal still wouldn't come up 90 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:58,199 with nothing that would do you no good. 91 00:05:58,199 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 5: Well, I feel sorry for Andy too. 92 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 6: I ain't never seen a man that crazy about a girl. 93 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,319 While he was telling us he was thinking of taking 94 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,720 some kind of personality. 95 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: Course, Moore thinking of taking one of them personality courses. Huh, Well, 96 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,439 if the boy is looking for cusness, why you don't 97 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,199 have to go out and spend no money at one 98 00:06:17,199 --> 00:06:20,600 of them schools. After all, ay as his friends, I 99 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,879 can help him. I can give him all the charming 100 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,720 culture he needs. After all, you know I used to 101 00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:29,079 be No, there's Dandy Stevens. 102 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 7: You got as Danny as a Ryan Osceros and a 103 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,319 French bathing suit. 104 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 5: Well, whether he can do it or not, Mama is 105 00:06:41,519 --> 00:06:44,920 beside the point. I think it's wonderful, just a wonderful 106 00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:47,120 gesture for George to offer to help Andy like it. 107 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, after all, the boy is desperate. He is in 108 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,439 love with this gal. I ain't never seen him in 109 00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:53,759 love like this. He's doing anything to win up. It's 110 00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:54,519 a pitiful thing. 111 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 5: Well, George, I just want to say that whatever you 112 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,199 does to help Andy, you're gonna come out of this 113 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,240 whole thing. It's a much bigger heart. 114 00:07:01,639 --> 00:07:03,319 Speaker 1: And if a players with cards, right, I gonna come 115 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:14,160 up with a much fatter pocketbook too, or I'll get it. Well, 116 00:07:14,279 --> 00:07:16,720 King Fish, I don't give you the fifty bucks you 117 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,879 think you can help me? Now? Certainly I can't end it. 118 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,600 I got the money right here. I told you, I dude, 119 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,399 who's fifty. Now, there ain't gonna be no problem giving 120 00:07:23,439 --> 00:07:26,319 you charm and culture. Now all you needs is a 121 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,199 few etiquette lessons. Yeah, well, I hope you can do something. 122 00:07:29,639 --> 00:07:31,680 I have so much in love with this consoles that 123 00:07:31,759 --> 00:07:33,759 I can't eat or sleep when I ending out. The 124 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,680 first step in etiquette is how to enter a room? Now, 125 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,480 how does you enter a room? Well? Use you by 126 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,360 the door, you know, I can. I can see that. 127 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,600 Besides the d slapping you here, why we're gonna have 128 00:07:46,639 --> 00:07:50,560 to unignorant you too? Yeah, well, explain to me about 129 00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:52,439 entering the room. Well, now let me give you a sample. 130 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,720 Let's say that Emily Pools was coming the court here 131 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,519 at the large hall. Yeah, let's say that, all right. Well, 132 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,680 the first thing Emily Pools would do is to knock 133 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,639 gently on the door with her lawn yet and then 134 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,000 she would say, ain't there? No, one wasn't within, And 135 00:08:07,079 --> 00:08:11,199 I'd say on trede, She'd say mercy, and I'd say, whirla, 136 00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:15,279 shall shede the door? And then she would enter, and then, 137 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,240 looking neither to the left nor to the right, she'd 138 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,160 crossed to the other side of the room with her 139 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:23,959 head held high majestically in the air. Well, if miss 140 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,319 Post is coming, you better move that cuspoer dark because 141 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:27,839 you're gonna fall smack over. 142 00:08:30,519 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 2: Wo. 143 00:08:30,759 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: He goes on. Here another point of charm and cussier 144 00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:37,320 in the four hundred, the tobaccoche and set never refers 145 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,080 to the instrument in question as a cuspidor they don't, 146 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:43,360 uh no, And the dose in the door refers to 147 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:47,600 it as the brass castle role. And I'll remember that. 148 00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:50,240 But King Fish, I don't think we can ever get 149 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:53,080 me cultured up enough for a high class gall like conserence. 150 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,679 Every night you see her name in the paper going 151 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,600 out to someplace or other with some society fellaw well, 152 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,919 and it that's how angle we is going to make 153 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,519 her think that you as a dashing society playboy. But 154 00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:05,519 now how we're gonna do that? And we is going 155 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:09,000 to start off by showering her with presents, candy, flowers 156 00:09:09,039 --> 00:09:11,879 and everything. What you mean, well, now look, and every 157 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,279 morning we is going to have a dozen rules that 158 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,039 sent to her penthouse apartment with your name on her. 159 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,639 And then the first thing every evening, a five pound 160 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,120 box of candy with your name on that too. Is 161 00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:23,840 I gonna take them up there? Oh no, And then 162 00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:26,840 we're gonna prepare the way for you. We'll have well, 163 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,320 we'll get al Gunquin j. Calhoun to take him up 164 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,360 there and make you look like a big shot with 165 00:09:31,399 --> 00:09:35,039 your own personal delivery man. And then after these maneuvers 166 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,000 and we are softened up for a week with the 167 00:09:37,039 --> 00:09:39,919 flowers and candy, then we moves in for the big attack. 168 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:45,039 Well other would do that generalized. Now I can see 169 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,159 it all. Now you shows up some evening with white 170 00:09:48,159 --> 00:09:50,919 tie and tails. She opens the door, she sees you 171 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,399 standing there, see me there, and at this moment, and 172 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,399 this beautiful gal falls right in your arm. She fall 173 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,480 right my arm. You got it in your army. She's 174 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:00,679 your she might not in your arm. I got it. Now, 175 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,679 come on, Andy, let's talk to Calhoni by taking the 176 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,080 flowers and candy up to her right away. Wait a minute, 177 00:10:05,159 --> 00:10:06,600 get this gall out of my arms, jail, I ain't 178 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,240 gonna carry. 179 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 2: Her all over town like no. 180 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:21,279 Speaker 1: Well, Kingfish is Conserence apartment house building. Thanks for coming 181 00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:25,759 this far with me to give me the im moral support. Yeah, yeah, many. 182 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,639 Speaker 2: I see it. 183 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: Light up there in the apartment on the top floor. Yeah, oh, 184 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,320 King Fisher, let's go home. I was too nervous to 185 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,000 go through with it. What you mean and it cal 186 00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:36,360 Hoon has been taking her them presents of flowers and 187 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:39,120 candy all week with your name on them. Right now, 188 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,120 she's all softened up for you men. I was still nervous. 189 00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,679 How do I look at my white tie and tails? Well, 190 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,679 you look like a real playboy in there, and you 191 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:50,120 smell high class too. Hey, by the way, what is 192 00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:52,840 this perfume you've done sprayed all over me? That's a 193 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,200 special brand that I hooped up myself. And there it's 194 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,840 a mixture of Chanel number five and DDT the stuff 195 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:04,399 at Tracks Women's but keeps off the flies. He say, 196 00:11:04,399 --> 00:11:06,879 wait a minute, and wait a minute. Somebody's coming out 197 00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:09,639 to go over the department building. Oh yeah, yeah, hey, it'sconsin. 198 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,919 Yeah it is in. Yeah, yeah, I go, King Fish. Oh, 199 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,840 she's got a man with her. Oh me, Yeah, he's 200 00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:18,600 a good looking fellow too. Look at him there, Yeah, 201 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,559 look at it. They're walking over there, getting ready to 202 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,519 get in that cab. But the curb. Yeah, maybe they're 203 00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:26,240 talking business. After all, she's a model. He might be 204 00:11:26,279 --> 00:11:26,759 an artist. 205 00:11:29,399 --> 00:11:31,639 Speaker 2: Hmm huh. 206 00:11:31,879 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: I tell you one thing, and it from the sound 207 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,000 of that left, he must be the board that pain 208 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,480 in September morning. You know me, there ain't no hope 209 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,559 for me with that gal kingfish. That was a real 210 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:44,399 high class fellow too. Come on, let's go home. Yeah, 211 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:46,799 by the way, in I knew that when she got 212 00:11:46,799 --> 00:11:50,159 into cab there she was wearing a cossergeant you or roses. Well, 213 00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:52,279 there's one thing that I hope that when he was 214 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,399 waiting up there in her apartment, he wasn't getting his 215 00:11:54,440 --> 00:12:08,440 strength up on my candy. Good evening, This is your 216 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:13,200 Rexol family druggist with money saving news. This coming Wednesday morning, 217 00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:16,639 April fifteenth, the doors of rex Al drug stores everywhere 218 00:12:17,039 --> 00:12:20,919 will open on rex Al's tremendous one cent sale, the 219 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:25,159 sale where you get two absolutely top quality, guaranteed rex 220 00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:28,240 Al products for the price of one plus a penny. 221 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,159 Never before has there been such a wholesale opportunity to 222 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,399 buy twice as much for just a penny more. For 223 00:12:35,519 --> 00:12:38,960 This offer applies to literally hundreds of drug and household needs, 224 00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:44,080 from vitamins to lipsticks, from fountain pins to aspirin from 225 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,919 writing paper to tooth brushes. And remember these are rex 226 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,879 Al products sold on an unconditional money back guarantee. So 227 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,279 check those four money saving days on next week's calendar. 228 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:01,240 Wednesday through Saturday, the days when just a anymore buys 229 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:15,039 twice as much at rex Al drug stores everywhere. Yeah, Amos, 230 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,840 you see before you a poor broken hearted man. Hey, well, Andy, 231 00:13:18,919 --> 00:13:23,240 I know you're crazy about this Constance Lamargaret. You gotta 232 00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:26,080 forget this, gal. You gonna get yourself sick the way 233 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,679 you moping around here. Yeah, I guess you're right, But 234 00:13:28,799 --> 00:13:31,919 I still got Calhoun's taking her those flowers every day. Yeah. 235 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,440 And the Kingfish found out who that fellow was that 236 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,799 she went out with last night, and we watched the 237 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,440 apartment and he went out with her every night this week. 238 00:13:39,639 --> 00:13:42,960 Oh they're going steady, huh. Yeah. He's an artist. His 239 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,399 name is Salvador Jackson. Oh, Salvador Jackson. Oh out here 240 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,799 to him. Yeah, he's doing fine illustrats, some magazines and 241 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,120 all that stuff. Oh, he's really wealthy. And they, Oh, 242 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,559 you gotta forget this, Carol. You just gotta stop carrying 243 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,480 the torch. Yeah, I guess you're right, Amos. I know 244 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:03,320 I should stop carrying the torch. But every time I 245 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,279 look at that picture of Venus going up and down 246 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:10,639 them stairs, the pilot light keeps flickering. Wait, wait a minute, 247 00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:15,480 wait a minute, I'll get it. I'll get it. Uh Hello, hello, Hendy, 248 00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:18,519 this is the Kingfish calling. I don't figure out the 249 00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:21,840 weird to solve your problem with constant No, no, Kingfish, 250 00:14:21,879 --> 00:14:24,039 it's all over, No, no, any look here, you can't 251 00:14:24,039 --> 00:14:24,399 give up. 252 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 2: Now. 253 00:14:24,639 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: Look, we are figures that your big rival is dis 254 00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:31,559 painted Salvadul Jackson, and the wad to cut him out 255 00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:34,360 is to make him think that she is in love 256 00:14:34,399 --> 00:14:36,799 with you. Well, how we're gonna do that now, Andy, 257 00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:39,879 Look here, we race up some romantic love letters to 258 00:14:39,919 --> 00:14:43,279 you and signs her name to him Connie, and then 259 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,240 we choose them to this Jackson fellow. Now when he 260 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,879 sees them, he's gonna think that she's in love with you, 261 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:51,200 and he gonna drop out the picture. Say that's a 262 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,360 great idea, Kingfish. I'll be right over to the lodge hall. 263 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,279 And what's up ending? I can't tell you as but 264 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,919 the next time you seize me, I'm gonna be missed 265 00:15:00,919 --> 00:15:13,679 of Venus descending the stairs. Kingfish, Why as we writing 266 00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:16,919 these love letters on a typewriter? Else? Who was Helvador 267 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,200 Jackson who recognized a handwriting dummy? Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. 268 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,279 Well read what you got so far? Well I start 269 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,600 off here, says dear honeybun and the baby. I am 270 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:31,759 crazy about you. I have a deep affection affection, uh affection. 271 00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:35,200 Oh way, look, kingfish, stead of using these big words, 272 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,759 can't catch just right in there that she loves me. Listen, man, 273 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,000 that you know the letter l fell off this typewriter 274 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,799 last week. She can be nuts about your crazy about you, 275 00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:44,799 mad about you, but there's one thing she can do, 276 00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:48,919 and that's to love you on this typewriter. Go ahead, 277 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,679 king Fish, do the best you can. Now, let's see 278 00:15:51,679 --> 00:16:00,080 here my honey. I Oh, there goes the k I 279 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,720 can't kiss you no more neither. I got it. Uh, 280 00:16:05,279 --> 00:16:09,639 let's see, I got it. H That goes to s me. 281 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:13,360 Now we've done lost smooching and sweetheart, and they're losing 282 00:16:13,399 --> 00:16:16,360 all these letters. She done took the fire out of 283 00:16:16,399 --> 00:16:16,759 this room. 284 00:16:16,799 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 2: Mance. 285 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, the most romantic thing that you can do now 286 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,639 on this machine the space bar and shift key. The 287 00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:26,799 gal we ain't getting no place, King Fish, what is 288 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,440 we're gonna do here? Well, not just singing. And you 289 00:16:29,519 --> 00:16:31,799 know that gal that works down at the delicatesting store, 290 00:16:31,879 --> 00:16:34,720 the one that always writ in poetry, Yeah, well for 291 00:16:34,759 --> 00:16:37,320 about five books, I think we could get her to 292 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,799 write up a batch of love letters. Yeah, yeah, they 293 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,240 gallop the delicatessen store. I'll go down and see her 294 00:16:42,279 --> 00:16:44,600 right now. Yeah, but and you better tell her wash 295 00:16:44,639 --> 00:16:47,360 the hands force she writes the letters. I've always found 296 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,320 it sure death the romance to have your love. Let 297 00:16:49,440 --> 00:17:01,320 us smell like marinated hearing. Hello, and what's that again? 298 00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:05,400 Oh yeah that's fine, Anna good, she got them all ritten. 299 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,000 Huh well, now look at her after you showed the 300 00:17:08,039 --> 00:17:11,880 love letters to the Salvador Jackson. Fella fooled me again, 301 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,920 and let me know how you made out. Yeah, that's 302 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,359 really she got some real hot stuff there. Huh good, 303 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,160 Get on over there now, and so long, boy, I 304 00:17:21,279 --> 00:17:24,519 toog he's working fine. After Andy shows them letters to Jackson, 305 00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:25,920 he won't have no more trouble than I was in 306 00:17:26,039 --> 00:17:30,440 fifty bucks. Oh hey, Calhoun, what's the matter, Kingfish? Where 307 00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:30,920 is Andy? 308 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,039 Speaker 7: I've got some news? 309 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:32,400 Speaker 2: Funny? 310 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:33,880 Speaker 7: What is up? 311 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:34,319 Speaker 2: Calhoun? 312 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,279 Speaker 1: You look all excited. 313 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 7: Well, you know that gay concert, Lamar, that Andy Craze 314 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,759 about the one I've been delivering to Candon Flowers. 315 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,559 Speaker 1: To have a dead Yeah, well what about her? 316 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 7: I just found out she's married, married, not only that 317 00:17:46,279 --> 00:17:50,400 she got her husband, Macrol. 318 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,200 Speaker 1: This is terrible. 319 00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 7: Yeah, and that's who the husband is, Salvador Jackson. Lamar 320 00:17:56,519 --> 00:17:58,279 is just a professional. 321 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,759 Speaker 1: Name, Salvador Jackson. 322 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 7: Yeah, and he say he's the most jealous man that 323 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,880 ever lived. Say he'd kill anyone that even as much 324 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:06,440 as looked. 325 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:06,839 Speaker 2: At his wife. 326 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 7: He used to be a football player before he was 327 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:09,519 an artist. 328 00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 2: Calhoun. 329 00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 1: This is terrible, and he don't know this, and he 330 00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:15,720 is on his way up there now the shouldest Salvador 331 00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:20,240 Jackson about your phone in love, let us sign Connie Lamar. Oh, Calhoun, 332 00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:23,480 I got a head Andy off somehow. He's on his 333 00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:23,960 way there. 334 00:18:25,319 --> 00:18:28,160 Speaker 7: And what he do to end he gonna take that 335 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,839 bar and drop kick him into that great Henzil in 336 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:38,359 the sky. 337 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 1: I just done to send my buddy to his shore desk. Calhoun. 338 00:18:41,599 --> 00:18:44,079 Ain't there nothing I can do? Yeah, there's one thing 339 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,200 you can do. Oh what is that? 340 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 7: Call up Woodlawn Cemetery and tell him to start digging 341 00:18:48,119 --> 00:19:01,160 a guest room. 342 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: Now here is your rex Al family druggist. This coming Wednesday, 343 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:10,480 April fifteenth, rex Al's gigantic one cent sale begins, the 344 00:19:10,519 --> 00:19:14,319 sale where you get two unconditionally guaranteed rex Al products 345 00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:16,480 for the price of one plus a penny. 346 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,319 Speaker 3: Would you tell me how that works? 347 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 1: Well, here's an example. The regular price for the one 348 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,759 hundred tablet bottle of rex Al aspirin is fifty four cents, 349 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,319 but during the one cent sale, you'll get two bottles 350 00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:30,799 for only fifty five cents. 351 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,400 Speaker 3: You mean I just add a penny and get twice 352 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,480 as much exactly? 353 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,319 Speaker 1: What's more, ma'am, You'll find litterally hundreds of those double 354 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:42,400 bargains in our stars, from mouthwash to adhesive tape, from 355 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,400 household gloves to hair brushes, from cold cream to sunglasses, 356 00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:50,839 plus more than sixty super specials on every type of 357 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,680 household need. 358 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,319 Speaker 3: How long does this sale run? 359 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: From this coming Wednesday morning till the closing of the 360 00:19:56,039 --> 00:19:59,720 store's Saturday night four miracle days when you get twice 361 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,559 as much much for just a penny. Moore at rex 362 00:20:02,599 --> 00:20:05,119 Al Drug Stars everywhere. 363 00:20:14,319 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 5: George Stevens, you mean to tell me that Andy Brown 364 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,559 is on his way there right now to read them 365 00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:20,519 phony love letters to the gal's husband. 366 00:20:20,839 --> 00:20:23,599 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, honey, that's all my fault, all my fault. 367 00:20:23,839 --> 00:20:26,160 Never mind that ball. Then the man will probably kill it. 368 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 5: God, you're just gonna have to do something. 369 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,079 Speaker 7: You just gotta stop it. 370 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,799 Speaker 1: I know, but it's too late. He's probably talking to 371 00:20:33,839 --> 00:20:35,880 the man right now. Say wait a minute, Wait a minute. 372 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,200 I think I got it. Suppose he thought that end 373 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,599 there was some kind of a nut who didn't know 374 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,000 what he was talking about. What you mean, Yeah, that's it. 375 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,440 Convinced this man that end is a crackpot. Yeah, I'll 376 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,240 borrow a white coat from the butcher and get right 377 00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:49,640 over there. 378 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 5: Now, George, this is a crazy idea. This will never. 379 00:20:53,039 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: Work, and I gotta tries my only chance. I gotta 380 00:20:55,279 --> 00:20:57,079 save my buttery's life. Hold of my way, here I go. 381 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:06,599 I'm going up there now. Well, Salvador Jackson secretary, say 382 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,240 he'll be with me in a minute. He's just finishing 383 00:21:09,319 --> 00:21:13,119 up painting the picture. Yeah, nice studio he got here, 384 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:18,279 pictures on the wall. Hm, look at this photograph of 385 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:23,240 this big bruiser here in the football uniform, say Bronco 386 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:28,200 Jackson the terror of the National Football League must be 387 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,319 Salvador's big brother, but after all, he's artists. 388 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,839 Speaker 2: My secretary said, you wanted to see me. 389 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,880 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, mister, I got some letters here and I 390 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:41,240 and I uh uh, excuse me for protruding, mister, but 391 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,599 uh that's a nice picture your brother on the wall there, 392 00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:48,079 my brother. Yeah, the fellow there in the football uniform 393 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:49,359 with the shoulder pads. 394 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,519 Speaker 2: That's not my brother. That's me. And I'm not wearing 395 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,839 shoulder pads. 396 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:59,799 Speaker 1: M Yeah, you shows a big fellaw. 397 00:22:00,079 --> 00:22:01,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, just what do you want? 398 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:07,039 Speaker 1: Well, I I you ain't thinking of going on a 399 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:10,079 diet or nothing? No, yeah, well that wouldn't do me 400 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:11,440 no good to come back later. 401 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,519 Speaker 2: You said something about letters, yes, mister, uh. 402 00:22:15,039 --> 00:22:17,519 Speaker 1: Well, ain't no sense beating around the bush. I has 403 00:22:17,559 --> 00:22:20,079 got proof here that Connie Lamar is in love with me. 404 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,839 Speaker 2: Connie in love with you? 405 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: Come now, Oh it's true, missus Salvadore. I got the 406 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,319 love letter she written me right here in my pocket. 407 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,720 And I know what you're gonna do after. 408 00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:32,839 Speaker 2: You read them. Yes, I'd like to see those love letters. 409 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, well here you is. 410 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 2: There is just a minute. Come in, yes, what is it? 411 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,799 Speaker 1: Excuse my white coat, mister, But I was looking for 412 00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:45,720 a man who in responsible for what he said if 413 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,079 he already said it, and if he said it, I 414 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,799 won't get him out here before we do say it. 415 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,200 That's all I want to do here. Yeah, kingfish, what 416 00:22:53,279 --> 00:22:55,599 is you doing in that white coat? This is the 417 00:22:55,599 --> 00:22:59,200 boy right here. He call me kingfish. To see that, mister, 418 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,160 he thinks I'm a bird. Come along, little friend, back 419 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,640 to the caide, if you will please just. 420 00:23:03,559 --> 00:23:04,039 Speaker 2: A minute here. 421 00:23:04,079 --> 00:23:06,039 Speaker 1: Do you mean to say that he's a fugitive from 422 00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:08,240 some kind of an institution? Oh? Yeah, yeah, he has 423 00:23:08,319 --> 00:23:13,039 done huge away from us this morning. He done slipped 424 00:23:13,039 --> 00:23:15,799 away while we was changing the wall mattresses on his 425 00:23:15,839 --> 00:23:19,680 pad aself. Wait a minute, you yeah, don't worry, mis uh. 426 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,920 He ain't dangerous or just irresponsible unfortunate kiss. A couple 427 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,880 of years ago, he was walking by a tall building 428 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,119 when a potted plant fell from the fifteenth floor and 429 00:23:29,319 --> 00:23:32,519 went right through his skull. You see his skull? Oh, yes, 430 00:23:32,599 --> 00:23:35,240 there's every spring of beautiful geranium sprout out the back 431 00:23:35,279 --> 00:23:39,519 of his head. He has to get a hair cutting, 432 00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:43,359 a prune and job at the same time. Yes, yeah, 433 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,079 he was troubled with air for us, is he? Yeah, 434 00:23:46,519 --> 00:23:48,519 I don't know what the Kingfisher is talking about here. 435 00:23:48,559 --> 00:23:50,480 I had just come up here to show you some 436 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,839 love letters that they now dare go again, Now I 437 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,960 got explain and playing words. Just what's the matter with 438 00:23:57,039 --> 00:24:00,880 the man? And I want you both to listen carefully. Now, 439 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,359 ever since he been hit on the head, he writes 440 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,720 love letters that he said were written by some gal, 441 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,160 and he comes up and reads them to some fella, 442 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,839 And the fella he shows them to is always the gals. Husband, 443 00:24:13,079 --> 00:24:18,359 As you get what I'm talking about, patient, King fish Less, 444 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,519 go out and prune that geranium. You find it brightened 445 00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:25,359 up a little bit. Good for you, Patient, From now 446 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,279 on we can cut down on the voltage on your 447 00:24:27,279 --> 00:24:29,279 shock feet. We'll save a little on electric bills. 448 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 2: Now what is all this nonsense? 449 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,279 Speaker 1: Well, now I just forget the whole thing, Missus Salvador, 450 00:24:34,319 --> 00:24:36,720 see you again, come along, patient, dear? Yeah, so hodong, 451 00:24:36,839 --> 00:24:39,200 mister drop in and send me sometime next spring when 452 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,039 I'm in full broom. I'll give you a cutwright on 453 00:24:41,079 --> 00:24:53,200 a boquet geranium. Oh that was something boys, mister Jackson 454 00:24:53,279 --> 00:24:56,000 turning out to be Connie's husband. Yeah, as you see 455 00:24:56,119 --> 00:25:00,359 Lamar was just her professional name. Yeah it boy. I 456 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,279 got the boy out just in time, he must. If 457 00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:05,839 I'd have got there one minute later, I we'd be 458 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,119 having a big blue suit party right now in the 459 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,240 large hall only, and it would be enjoying the festivities 460 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,839 from a horizontal position. That's right. If Calhoun hadn't have 461 00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:18,720 found us out today, I'd have been to late Andrew H. Brown. Yeah, 462 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:23,640 Calhoun finally know she was married? Really saved today for you? Yeah? Well, 463 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:28,400 her being married, yes, then scared you off for good? Honda. Yeah, 464 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,960 I guess it is. He must when it comes to 465 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,680 dousing the torch. Why there ain't no bigger fire extinguisher 466 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:35,680 than a girl's. 467 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:47,119 Speaker 3: Husband, you know, My dear, I don't know what happened 468 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,960 to Andy Brown. He was so interested in me, but 469 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,640 neither of my brother Salvador I can figure out what 470 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,200 scared him away? Can you hurry? 471 00:25:56,519 --> 00:25:57,920 Speaker 7: Ain't nobody gonna know that? 472 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:58,759 Speaker 2: For Lord? 473 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: This is Harlow Wilcox with your money saving tip of 474 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,160 the year. Rex All's tremendous one cent sale begins next 475 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,839 Wednesday morning, the one and only nationwide sale where you 476 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,480 get two guaranteed Rexall products for the price of one 477 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,440 plus one cent, and this unmatched offer applies to literally 478 00:26:31,559 --> 00:26:34,920 hundreds of drug and household needs plus more than sixty 479 00:26:35,039 --> 00:26:40,400 super bargains items like bath Toowel's candy, toothpaste, shaving cream, billfolds, 480 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:44,359 and scores of medicine chest needs. So this coming week, 481 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,680 stock up and save where your pennies save you dollars. 482 00:26:48,319 --> 00:26:52,200 Rex Al sensational one cent sale Wednesday through Saturday at 483 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,519 Rexall drug stores everywhere the store with the orange and 484 00:26:55,559 --> 00:26:58,480 blue sign. And don't forget ladies and gentlemen. This is 485 00:26:58,559 --> 00:27:03,400 National Boys Club Week. No subversive isms exist in boys clubs. 486 00:27:03,839 --> 00:27:06,319 The boys that talk to love America and to be 487 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,880 tolerant and fair toward all individuals and groups. Support the 488 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,920 Boys Clubs in your community. Thank you and good night. 489 00:27:15,319 --> 00:27:24,480 See you next Sunday. Remember rex All's gigantic one cent 490 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:27,640 sale begins next Wednesday morning, the sale that gives you 491 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,640 two guaranteed rex Al products for the price of one 492 00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:34,799 plus a penny. Remember next Wednesday through Saturday, just stop 493 00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:37,920 inside a rex All store by twice as much for 494 00:27:38,039 --> 00:27:44,680 a penny more. Your rex Al druggist has presented the 495 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,440 Inmoson Andy Show, transcribed and directed by Cliff Howl. This 496 00:27:48,519 --> 00:27:50,039 is the CBS Radio network.