Speaker 1: Well, coming up in this episode, Laura and her boyfriend
Joe join and we find out that Joe that's something
he really likes to do in the winter.
Speaker 2: My neighbors call him the shovel Fairy. They're like, does
the shovel Fairy want to come visit our house?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, Yeah, that sounds like a really fan. It's
like a fantasy, the shovel Fairy. It's a different kind
of fan. It's like an adult fantasy. Now, God, I
wish the shovel Fairy put on that outfit, Joe and
come on over. Of course, when Laura's around, the conversation
has to get a little rich. Top five there's five
of them.
Speaker 2: Really trivia music, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because what would you like? Porn music? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I feel like you need a different about audio, like
seduce me music.
Speaker 1: Seduce you music. Okay, all right, Well, while you're thinking that,
I'm gonna pull up some seduced me music. Hi. All right?
Speaker 2: So the top five that there needs to be more of.
Speaker 1: Everybody loves to blame the ref and Joe happens to
be a collegiate football referee, and he explained.
Speaker 3: Some things just think like the average fan just doesn't understand,
and that I could be four feet away from somebody
and that's not my responsibility of looking at that. I'm
looking at something else. So the average fan just doesn't
understand that every official on the field is their eyes
are already set to look at something, not where the
ball is.
Speaker 1: All that and more coming up right after this, we're
making some changes here at Billified. We now have a website.
You can go to Bill Moran Productions dot com. You
can send us emails through there. You can see clips
of the show, you can see the full podcast, or
even putting out a condensed audio version of the podcast,
so if you don't have time to hear the full version,
we'll download the condensed version wherever you get your podcasts
on And if you'd like to become a supporter of
Billified and the Bill Moran Productions enterprise that we have
going on here, you just go to the link in
the podcast episode description. Help keep the pirate ship afloat
and thank you for all your support.
Speaker 3: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice
mix in some vodka, call it a pun. From the
Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by
Victor Chrysler Dots, jeep Ram.
Speaker 1: It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast. Well, hello and welcome.
Thank you for getting your pod on. Thanks for checking
out the website Bill Moran Productions dot com. There's pictures
up there. Laura will be up there later. It's not no, no, no, no,
not no. She watched the listening photos. Is that what
you want? Is that where we're going? Is that what
it is?
Speaker 2: Why not? You're gonna get fan emails?
Speaker 1: No, and you can email right through there. Yeah, it's
just it's it's been. Uh, it's been. It's been weird
for me because I don't know anything about anything. I'll
give you a little behind the scenes like I don't
I don't know photo chop. Well, I don't know any
I own it all. Yeah, yep. So I had a
logo that I had created for another podcast that I
was doing, and somebody wrote me an email through the
website and said, is it Bill lightenmant or Bill Lightment
because you have it two different ways? And I look
at the logo and I went man, So I took
like forty minutes and fiddled around with it and got
it fixed.
Speaker 2: Get it to where you want you doing, Like Canva.
Speaker 1: Or I have I pay for Canva. Yeah this was
through my photoshop on Adobe. Okay, Yeah, I'm learning all
this stuff. It's like.
Speaker 2: It's one thing that I cannot I don't do my website.
I don't do anything I pay to have that done.
Speaker 1: Who do you pay the like go Daddy or somebody.
Speaker 2: My website is through by the way, great name. Yeah,
I mean I my websites through Wix. But then it's
like run through go Daddy or I built my website
through wis. Go Daddy is like where I.
Speaker 1: And you have their experts work on it for you.
Speaker 2: No, I have my like my branding coach.
Speaker 1: You have a branding coach, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like a business coach who does all my branding and stuff.
Really yeah, she edits my website for me and stuff
like that. It's one thing I don't know how to do.
Speaker 1: I like knowing how to do this stuff. But here's
what I'm starting to realize. If you want to be successful,
you have to have people that focus on the little
stuff and you got to keep looking big picture otherwise
you're gonna you know, and and I just do things.
It takes well not necessarily half asked. I mean I've
been able to make this work, but it could be
so much more than it is. Uh huh, And so
that that's where we're heaving.
Speaker 2: I mean, and I know we've talked about social media
and how much you don't really enjoy making the reels
and editing and everything because it's so much work.
Speaker 1: It is like today, that's another thing media.
Speaker 2: I try my business.
Speaker 1: I try to do a cute story on Instagram today
where you have a picture back and then you have
the story you're reel up here and people can click
to go to your reel, but it's over in the corner.
I don't know. Fuck it know. It took me like
an hour and I go, you go, I'm an idiot,
but I like this stuff and I'd like to be
able to say to somebody, hey man, you do this.
I'm going to go over here and work on this,
this and this, and that's where we're headed clearly. But
it takes a it's taken a minute. I don't know.
I but the website's up Bill Moran Productions and we'll
get everybody's picture up. There was a little bit of
here and there and cass Oh, by the way, it's
only been that had paid for this for over a year.
I have just done nothing with it. Nothing with it
because I'm like, yeah, because I go, I not that
I like I was going, I don't have the time
or I don't know how or whatever it was. So
I decided now just like I'm just like screwed. I
gotta do this. I gotta do this.
Speaker 2: I remember when I started my business, I tried to
look into buying polished dot com. Forty dollars is what
they wanted for the domain.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, how's organizing business? I mean, the weather's been
not fun?
Speaker 2: No, I said my drive. I was texting Kevin on
Monday because he asked if I could come in. I
was like, my drive to Pulteneyville took about forty three minutes.
Speaker 1: You were in Pulteneyville.
Speaker 2: Was in Pulteneyville on Monday.
Speaker 1: I just saw a thing that more than the Mohawk Valley.
But you know, even up in the Ataronticcks, I think
tug Hill, which a lot of people go. I think
our friend Mac Mike Mack, his place is up he
has property up in the Aaronticcks, and I think it's
near tug Hill. Yeah, and they already had six feet
of snow this winter, and they're supposed to get an
additional three this weekend or these next one weekend, I
think in the next couple of days. Yeah. Yeah, it said, uh, yep,
let me let me see here, because I just I
saw this today. I go, this is crazy. I mean,
it would be depressing to me because it would feel
like it never Yeah, residents urged no travel dude that
hazard conditions and certain bands of snow can produce up
to three inches of accumulation an hour, paired with blizzard
like winds to create total white out across central New York.
Let's see areas of tug Hill. Oh, here's what it
is slated to see another three feet of snow. There's
only about three hundred and fifty people in the tug
Hill area. They're already buried under twenty five feet of
snow this winter this winter. And that's like old school
shit because we haven't had winters like that in forever.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I thought they were still predicting because I talked
to Mac. He's got his place up there and he
likes to go up and run the sleds. Yeah right,
and he's like, man, I don't know. We're supposed to
get it, supposed to warm up. They're talking about a
warm stretch. We will probably have a bunch of mud.
Now you got twenty five fucking feet of snow. I mean,
but that's got it. You're still find in patches of
it when you go hiking in May.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's never gonna go down. I can't believe. Yeah,
how much snow we've gotten and it just has not stopped.
He has not an until my plow contracts last year.
Speaker 1: You did because they because there's nothing right, there's nothing coming.
Well now, but now you got Joe.
Speaker 3: I know, Josie told me you were going to put
me on can what I just had?
Speaker 1: I had to put you on camera. I said, you
sit there, I won't put you on I did say
I won't put you on camera.
Speaker 2: Okay, I did say, well here, he's a pretty man.
You could put him on.
Speaker 1: He yeah, he doesn't want No, No, we don't have
to have it, honor. But do you does he go
out and shovel and salt and do all that stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm a shoveling connoisseur. As soon as the snow hits
the ground, I'm like the guy from a Christmas story.
He wants to fix the furnace. The snow hits the ground.
I'm out there, I'm shoveling. Really, Oh yeah, I love shoveling.
He don't know why. I don't know why.
Speaker 2: Like we have gotten home at ten thirty at night
from something, and at eleven o'clock he's.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm gonna go shovel Yeah, it's strange. I don't know.
Speaker 2: My neighbors call him to the shovel Fairy. They're like,
does the shovel Fairy want to come visit our house?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, yeah, that sounds like a really fan It's
like a fantasy, the shovel Fairy. It's a different kind
of face. It's like an adult fantasy. Now, God, I
wish the shovel Fairy put on that outfit Joe and
come on over.
Speaker 2: I shall for the first time this winter because I
got home early and he had had a long day
and so or I knew he wasn't getting home until late,
so I shoveled it.
Speaker 1: I was like, cat, did Joe dress up as the
shovel fairry for Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: No, Lauria hates Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: Oh, so are you off the hook completely? Then?
Speaker 3: For val off the hook completely?
Speaker 1: But what did you do? You did something?
Speaker 3: I just wrote a cheesy Facebook Oh okay, all right.
Speaker 2: I hate I do Valentine's Day. I only started doing
it that past few years because my hate.
Speaker 1: Ah.
Speaker 2: So Friday morning, I like tied little Valentine's balloons to
their chairs. In the morning, I made them red pancakes,
you know, whipped cream.
Speaker 1: That's really cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Are you like a chocolate bar and the newest
prime drink? That's what they got for Valentine's Day? Okay,
but no, I hate. I think it's really cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what about adult all right, we were talking
about this last night. What if you got like sex
toys for Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2: I mean, that's fine, but why can't you give me
sex toys on the other three hundred and sixty three
days all of the year.
Speaker 1: Because it's February and there's a lot of snow on
the ground, and it just seems to make sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me for Christmas? So then I had those cold
months go quicker.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Joe, you're taking notes over there, buddy,
I gotta be taking notes. Take some notes. Over there.
What did you do with the kids all week? Because
I haven't had my guy all week because he's been down.
Speaker 2: With his momma.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's work.
Speaker 2: How's damien?
Speaker 1: I haven't been there once. I know, I know, I
something has happened. I'll tell you. Like my weird, I
feel like I'm right on the cusp of getting everything
everything where I needed to be, and I have not gone.
I was here and then I would go home. Now
we started doing a condensed version of the podcast, so
you get the full version, or you can have the
condensed version, which is like somewhere between twenty five forty
minutes of this kind of the highlights.
Speaker 2: It's like choose your own adventure.
Speaker 1: Well it is sort of. I mean you get the
just the stuff. There's a lot of fluff in there
right that we can cut out. So doing that and
then a whole bunch of writing, getting the website up.
I've got this TV pitch I need to get done.
I'm looking for places for me and Jamison. It's been NonStop.
So I have not gone over there once, and it's
been two for one week, but I have not gone,
and I was thinking of going. I was like, I
could go tonight because we're doing it earlier the podcast. Yeah,
and then I'm like, nah, I got to get I
gotta go home. I gotta go home because I want
to start. I just there's just a lot I have
unfortunately stuck my head in the sand for a couple
of years, right, you know, kind of you know, just
sort of like drifted. And now I feel like I've
got a little bit more of a direction and I'm
I gotta get myself out of this shit.
Speaker 2: Understandable.
Speaker 1: And it's weird because you're right, I would love to
go over there and play, and you know, and I
even thought about it, I go, I can't. Here's the
problem because I had a conversation with a professional and
I and they said, well, you know, why won't you
go out? And I go, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's like slippery slope.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I said, they go, you can't trust yourself.
You need to prove to yourself that you can go
and just have one or two. And I go, I can't.
I'm not there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I can anywhere else, but I can't there,
especially if they're around. I love hanging out with those
Cheers show.
Speaker 2: Like everybody knows your name.
Speaker 1: Well, walking, it's not that. It's because I walked in
there about a week and a half ago, and I
knew nobody in there, like I didn't recognize anybody, like
none of my buddies were there. So I slipped into
the bathroom and then slipped out the door. I didn't
want to it, I mean, so the bar workers would
know me, but I didn't, so I was like, eh,
I go, that's a sign I shouldn't be here. So then,
but my problem isn't that I can't stop. That's not it.
I can because I'll have a glass of wine at
home and I don't need to keep drinking. But when
I'm in that environment and we're having fun, and what
happens is it's like time travel for me. The next
thing I know, it's one o'clock in the morning, you
know what I mean. And I'm but I've had so
much fun, and you were gonna leave, or even said
I'm gonna leave, and all of a sudden, magically, I mean,
you've got the driveway shovel fairy. What is he called
the shovel fairy, the shovel fairy.
Speaker 2: You have the beer fairy.
Speaker 1: No, I got the Guinness fry, the Guinness ferry. We
used to have that in our neighborhood. We used to
leave like cases of guinness on Yeah, me and my
neighbor would leave cases a guinness on each other's steps.
So once in a while it was the Guinness Fairy.
But yeah, but I just know that I can't do that.
So I have not been out, and then I'm like,
I want to. There's certain things, certain goals I want
to get to, and I'm I want to. I'll be
back out by Saint Patrick's day.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's another month.
Speaker 1: That's it. I got a month. I got a month.
I got to pull my shit together. I got a
lot of ship I got to pull together.
Speaker 2: He said last night to me, He's like, you haven't
been drinking wine at home as much. I was like,
I'm really trying to cut down during the week.
Speaker 1: You know. You know I noticed because you're not as
wild at night.
Speaker 2: Oh maybe, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: Right, you're a little calmer. You're like, I gotta go
to bed. I got it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I feel like I'm trying to not
drink when I'm alone, and a lot of times i'm
alone at night, you know, even if the kids go
to bed. He's not home until normally nine thirty, but
because it's break week, he's getting home around six. So
he's like, where's your dream?
Speaker 1: Look at this? All right? So how can I ask? Like,
I don't know how you can ask anything? Why I
can ask you anything? We already we've already a sta
that I don't know how comfortable Joe would be. And
it's not a dirty question, it's not. It's just like
you're coming home and your your life, in a very
very short period of time, went from every mess that
was made was yours to now your there's two kids,
there's there's all this stuff, and you just seem to
embrace it, like, dude, you like you really like it.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I've no, I've always got a clean
freak when I live by myself. I've made a couple
of comments to Laura, and I'm trying to get the
kids pick up after themselves.
Speaker 1: But they're kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's not too messy, so I can't complain.
You know, what's a half hour hour aund the house?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean I'm just saying, like, that's that's
a big switch, right for nobody. Yeah, only you too?
Now you know. I mean I see the pictures there.
You're like a jungle gym for them. They're on your shoulders,
but he's hanging off your arm.
Speaker 3: You know this is true. But I mean I've worked
with kids for the last fifteen years.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that makes it all pretty easy.
Speaker 3: Very good.
Speaker 1: We'll take a moment, Laura. I found some stats and
and we'll ask you, and I hope it doesn't get
too bad. But it was a survey from Bloom, an
erotic audio platform. Okay, it's called Bloom. Everybody wants to
go check it out. I'm sure they have dirty novels
and things that you can listen to book on tape,
and it's got some surprising insight into women's porn preferences.
And we will see if you agree. Is that fair?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I wasn't your I was like, wait, Bloom, yeah, Bloom.
Check it out. We'll get to all that right after this.
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a test bunny on the website.
Speaker 2: You have like a chat bot. I like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the chatbot pops up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Please nentwer your question and don't leave out any details.
This will help get your question fully answered as soon
as possible.
Speaker 1: Wow, what's the question?
Speaker 2: Who's the blonde?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That's really funny. Well, so like go through there
because I'm curious. I was thinking, like do I do?
I was trying to give each podcast its own page
because I don't want to get too confusing. But then
I'm like, dude, should I do bill bilified audio, bilified video,
bilified clips? Do I keep it all together? These are
all the things that have been running through my head
and I haven't been able to you know, I'm figuring
it out. I'm also figuring out and you'll know, Oh,
look at this. I have a question, Laura, I just
got it.
Speaker 2: You got so it came through.
Speaker 1: It comes to forwards to my other email because I
I don't know, okay, but even that took me a
while today Joe to figure that out and set that up.
But uh yeah, so I'm trying to do it as
user friendly. I'm not sure I like the cover page exactly,
but yeah, you know what I mean, Like, I feel
like you need something that more more to grab you
in some way. Almost what I'd like to do is
like an intro video. Yeah, you know, hey, welcome from
come by, and then.
Speaker 2: Show you clips interactive website Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: That kind of thing. So it would be like, hey,
thanks for stopping by. You know, here's some of the
things you can do and blah blah blah. Yeah, and
but again I go where am I.
Speaker 2: Going to get the time for I know that's why
sometimes you got to hire it out.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to hire it out, or sometimes you
just have to realize that while you're doing this you
cannot you just can't sleep, not can't sleep, but you
just gotta work.
Speaker 2: Got I mean they also believe me, man I laid
on the.
Speaker 1: Couch for a while. I'm like, my gut shows it.
Speaker 2: Don't overcomplicate your website either.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't want to overcomplicate anything, but I'm starting
to see and then somebody who owns a business has
the two kids, right, and when you have the kids,
you are the single mom. I know that Joe's on
site now, but you know a lot of the heavy
lifting is still going to be you. And I mean,
I got eat. I'm starting to realize, like I go,
I can give an hour to this, but I get
so involved AGO want to keep going, and then I
fuck up everything else.
Speaker 2: You know, I know, sometimes I have to break away
from my computer and be like stop doing emails stuff
Like yeah, doing all the stuff.
Speaker 1: It's a weird thing, all right, Laura, Here we go
the top five fantasies women want to see more of
in porn. Let's see if you can get like, I
don't know what ones would you think? Give me? Like
the top five there's five of them?
Speaker 2: Really trivia music, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because what would you like porn music?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I feel like you need a different about audio, like
seduce me music.
Speaker 1: Seduce you music. Okay, all right, Well while you're thinking that,
I will pull up some seduced me music. Okay, all right.
Speaker 2: So the top five that there needs to be more of, yeah, more.
Speaker 1: That women want to see more of. Top five imporn
that women want to see more of. I would say
this is according to the Bloom website, the Bloom platform.
Speaker 2: I'm going to say, older women with younger men really
like being seduced by a young man.
Speaker 1: Okay, so okay, that's very specific, but I think that
would fall under what fifty two percent of women are
calling romantic sex, okay, right, being kind of romantic romanticized. Yeah,
but older women younger guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I Yeah, because I think you have
vice versa a lot of times.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I've I've watched pure taboo, which is
usually like a couple seducing a young.
Speaker 2: Girl, oh okay, teaching.
Speaker 1: Her their wily ways who's the you know, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah yeah she becomes Laura. What else you got?
Speaker 2: Okay, Damsel in distress, Damsel in distress?
Speaker 1: Okay, is that on there?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: No? See, you're going specific think of, like what actually
they'd like to see?
Speaker 3: I have?
Speaker 1: All right, let's see what you got, Joe.
Speaker 3: I think it's gotta be like dadbods.
Speaker 1: Oh, dad bots, okay, normal guys.
Speaker 3: You're always talking about two guys that are too small
and too skinny.
Speaker 2: So, oh yeah, I don't like is that on there?
Speaker 1: No regular? So here's what women want to see more of.
Seventy seven percent of women said they would like to
see more threesomes in porn, and they don't give you specifically,
like what kind a threesome? Right, that's what it be?
Two girls and a guy, two guys and a girl.
Doesn't say women receiving more oral sex fifty would like
to see that and.
Speaker 2: Born Okay, romantic they just want that more in life.
I mean seriously, I can't get it there.
Speaker 1: I'll get it into my fantasy. Romantic sex comes in
at fifty two percent. Rough sex comes in at fifty
two percent. Okay, yeah, like yeah, domination oh doude really yeah, domination,
you're looking at everything, looking at looking at you.
Speaker 3: All right, So I guess I can expose myself whatever. Yeah.
So Laura likes to be slapped around and everything else.
I'm not that type of guy. Yeah, Like one time
I slapped her and I just start laughing my because
I'm like, what the hell am I doing? This is?
This is awkward? Just starts looking at me like what.
Speaker 2: Wa black eyes? Time I accident?
Speaker 1: What you just like your face slap? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, joked. But then the other day we had like
midday sex and he went to do that. I was like,
you can't do that in the middle of the day.
Speaker 1: It's got to be dark out night time, buddy. I
wouldn't know either.
Speaker 3: What do you want this?
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do here?
Speaker 3: Having so rough sex?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Do you like cuffs? And how about like a like
if somebody got a leather.
Speaker 2: Oh we've talked about that. We don't have one.
Speaker 3: What what was that sex room show? Yeah? The girl
always had that whip.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, not one, not a whip, but like
this was like alger yeah, flogger, flogger. Oh you're so
good man, you're so in, you're so on this, you're
so now accepting floggers.
Speaker 3: This old Lady sex show for eight episodes and all.
Speaker 1: What's the old lady sex show? I don't know?
Speaker 2: Call how to Build a Sex Room? And it's like
a what is it on.
Speaker 1: A dy channel?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Really, it's called how to Build a Sex Room?
Speaker 2: And it was amazing because like it was everything from
like a married couple to like a group orgy that
like she built like a house for them to have
their sex parties.
Speaker 1: Man, it was amazing. Get to air that place out
when it's done, Oh yeah, oh yeah, good lord.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there were some really creepy looking people on it too.
Speaker 1: According to this, there are experts like doctor Nizine Moali
and sexologist Nicolette Heideger offer some context for these results,
suggesting that these fantasies empower women to overcome societal shame
and take control of their desire. Yeah, but they seem
very generic, Like I liked your specific.
Speaker 2: I was thinking more it was yeah, yeah, yeah, they want.
Speaker 1: That sort of Threesomes may help women feel desirable and
proficient because they always got to be doing something taking
care of somebody.
Speaker 2: So desirable, then it has to be too men.
Speaker 1: I got it to me. That's no.
Speaker 3: No, she wants to get punched in the face, but
she can't watch two guys messing around with one girl.
That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: I mean, I could watch it, It's just that I like,
I don't know, I guess if all the attention was
on me, Like, but you know, you think about in threesome, like,
are they gonna be touching each I don't want that?
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, wow, here you go. Well that's it's
weird because women in same sex relationships tend to act
on and enjoy group sex fantasies more than straight women.
Speaker 2: Obviously.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would think that that is obvious too. Yeah.
Speaker 2: If you think about it, if you and your partner
both like the same sex, then you're gonna be more
willing to bring in another one of the same sex.
Speaker 3: You're you would be.
Speaker 1: Younger person, right, and I mean you're I don't even
know how old you are, thirty nine?
Speaker 2: Thirty nine?
Speaker 1: Okay, so but of that age, right, independence are women
more open to talk about sexual fantasies now than they were?
Speaker 2: I think so?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I would compare to howl'd your sister similar
age to you too. Okay, so she's too close, but
your mom probably didn't feel like I don't know if
she even discussed it with her friends.
Speaker 2: I remember my mom telling me that sex gets better
once you turn forty.
Speaker 1: Well, I think there's a reason why you are. You
don't give the ambitions, like you're just gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're you open more about like this is
what I like in bed, this is what I would
like to try. And I do think that people are
getting more open into those things. You hear the conversation.
Speaker 1: Well, older though, and more confident, a little more experience. Yeah,
not ashamed of your body even. Yeah, I would be
with Joe at first, but I'm afraid that if I
would get so into the slapping, spitting, punching, choking that
I would lose my head. I would I would like,
I would like I would have an out of body experience.
Speaker 2: I swear that he's a big guy, but he's so
like gentle, no comment.
Speaker 3: All I know is it's just it's very awkward. She
just pull my hair, slapped me, you know, sneaking in
here and there, but like, yeah, it was just weird.
Speaker 1: She gives you an instruction manual at least yeah guessing. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that that's exciting, right.
Speaker 2: It keeps me think the exact same thing every time.
Speaker 4: I ah, yeah, some not you don't get into a routine,
so like no, not currently, I don't think it's a routine.
Speaker 1: I don't mean like a routine like you're on top,
then I'm behind.
Speaker 2: So I will say, obviously I slept with.
Speaker 1: Oh, slapped asses happened and relaxed ass. It's an unhappy asso.
Speaker 2: Slapped ass is a happy as that's right.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, Joe's did Joe have big hands? Big hands?
Joe I got, Yeah, he's a big hands. It's like
leaving a big hamprint on here.
Speaker 2: I did leave the Yeah, I get lost ham.
Speaker 3: You woke up the next morning you had a.
Speaker 2: Hamp I like handprints, I like brewses, bite marks, like
whoa the biting stuff.
Speaker 1: I gotta draw the line there, crap.
Speaker 2: Like I will say, like my ex husband, it was
the same one, two three every time. Yeah, like and
I think that that is even when I would say,
like I need something more, like we need to switch up.
It was that's why we ended up not having all right, well.
Speaker 1: Those are the old days, those are the old days.
Now you're backing living. You would even film yourself, wouldn't you?
I have you have yeah, okay, not with me.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't me. It was not me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But would you think I don't have any interest?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't think you know you wouldn't go back
and break down the tape later on.
Speaker 3: I mean, Bill, if I was swinging a twelve inch deck,
I would film it in a heart.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but I hear you, but no, this stuff
isn't gonna get out anywhere. It's just for you guys.
I used to love it.
Speaker 2: I have key. He has said, like, I'm never going
to send you. He's never gonna send me a dick pic.
He's never going to do anything.
Speaker 3: Laura's fantasy is for me to jerk off so you
can see a cum shot. Whoa, that's I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh my god, orgasm watching me have a cum shot? Wow?
How bad it is?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 3: After I punched her in the face.
Speaker 1: That's called love, folks have Holy God, Flora, this okay,
I do I have.
Speaker 2: I have some weird obsessions. I have some weird fetishes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The other day, like I sent him a nude from upstairs.
I was like come war me up, and you hear
him up the stairs.
Speaker 1: I'd be running. I'd be like, yeah, I'd been running.
That's a u okay. The filming thing reminded me there
was a joke that Sam Kennison used to do. Some
girl talked him into filming sex. I think this is
a joke, and he goes, why would I want to
watch that? It looks like it looks like she's being
raped by boular bear. I always love that line. I
just love that line because I go every it's one
of these things like I always say when people you'll
see guys getting bar fights, right, and you'll hear them
bragging you never look as good as you think you do, Okay,
like in a bar fight, every swing and why they're
all over the place you see, right, And I don't
know why that's my analogy, but I would say the
same thing for you never look as good as you
think you look. You know, maybe she does, I don't know,
but I would think most guys, no, no, no, I mean,
we need a three camera sho it's.
Speaker 2: Like hot to know that it exists for the two
of you. But it's not like I'm going to go back.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm saying. It's hot right exactly. But
Joe's an athlete, he's a he's a referee for football
at the collegiate level. He's used to breaking down film.
Speaker 2: Can we replay that?
Speaker 3: I think I should just put a camera up and
not record, And then you think that we're recording.
Speaker 2: Oh, I would be I would be like, I.
Speaker 1: Think Laura would be putting on a show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, absolutely, And then you would be like, God,
damn it, I wish I actually recorded that.
Speaker 1: To watch that code, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm a large white male. I'm gonna go
with the polar bear fras.
Speaker 1: So I would say, all right, we'll take a moment.
Since Joe's here and he was a referee, I have
to bring up one of the controversial things from football
and how hard that is and how much we don't appreciate,
I don't think fully what ruffs have to deal with,
and how quick that game is and compensation did they
get enough? I'll tell you about it. We'll get to
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your comment, like our friend Vinnie, who wrote, have.
Speaker 2: To say about me today?
Speaker 3: Stuff?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you love Joe wants meet Minnie.
Speaker 1: Vinnie said where is Danny when you need him? Trick question,
you don't. But he's crying in his bible or that
he says, oh, all hands, the pirate ship is sailing
full speed, gagging throats of passion. The throats of passion.
I wonder if that is a porn Yeah, and then
he says, whip out your tits, fat boy, meaning me,
meaning me. That's what you mean, That's that's what he's
talking though.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: We can feature your comments if you'd like to, uh
to do that. Are you traveling anywhere in the near future.
Speaker 2: Yeah, We're going to Charlotte in like a month.
Speaker 1: Are you nervous?
Speaker 2: No, No, it's rare that. I feel like there is
a lot of news about the small little things too.
The DC flight that, yes, there had been no like
American flights crashed in so long, the small little flight
that went down in Philly, Philly like that has happened more.
It's just you know, but I feel like the DC
caused this massive attention, right and then Trump like taking
away some of the air marshals or traffic controllers. Like
it's just there's a lot of eyes on it right now.
But whatever, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Would think that it's still the safest way to go.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: How many car accidents have we had today? I mean
we're just talking about I was talking to somebody about
the weather we talked about earlier in the tug Hill area,
and they said, sobody was leaving Watertown. Uh, and they
rolled their car right hit black ice rolled their car.
So you have that or you could have you could
end up upside down. In Toronto. Everybody survived.
Speaker 2: Everybody thirty thousand dollars per person, which is about six
times with the people who when they landed on the
Hudson they got five thousand each.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to think, like, what what one is
worse now? Granted we're talking years later. Yeah, but I
think upside down is scarier than landing on the water,
although landing out of the water you could be worried
about sinking and your luggage and all that shit. I'm
not sure I.
Speaker 2: Think that the Hudson they knew that there was plane problems, yes, Like,
so you had more time to be scared.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like so that would be more money that I
think should have been. We call that emotional distress.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're terrified right where that what is that delta
upside down supposedly like happened last minute.
Speaker 1: You don't need Did you watch it come in? It
was like the weirdest thing. Yeah, and I think it
was pilot error. I think the pilot didn't lift the
nose up enough. From what I was reading, I know
nothing about this, but people commented saying it would look
like pilot error pilots talking, so I would assume that
that's true. But I got to tell you, I would
expect to get nothing.
Speaker 2: Oh, I would expect something, you would sure, Oh yeah,
like a free flight.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what I'm saying, Like I wouldn't know. Yeah,
I guess thirty thousand dollars. What is it gonna cost them?
Two point two million, which really isn't that big a
deal at the corporate level of their size. Thirty thousand
dollars is nice, and they're claiming it's not preventing anybody
from filing a lawsuit. In addition, yeah, you're not. It's
not as though, hey, you take this money and you
can't file a lawsuit. They're not doing that well.
Speaker 2: I think that anyone who was injured should probably get more. Yeah,
you know, man bills and things like that. But if
you weren't injured.
Speaker 1: Fuck, I'm thinking I got a great story thousand dollars.
I got a great story in thirty thousand dollars. I'm
telling that story. It is going to change from year
to year to year to I'm the one who is
I'm on the wing, the wing's on fire, and I'm
helping old ladies out. I mean, that story's gonna change
for years and years. But thousand street crowd, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, would I want to go through a
traumatic experience for thirty thousand dollars? Probably not. But do
I think that it would soften the blow? For sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: But I think landing on the hudsone, Yes, that was
God how many years.
Speaker 3: Ago that pilot made millions with his book, Yeah, oh yeah,
and the movie movie Tom Hanks played you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty good. That's true. He got a ton
of money. You got five grand.
Speaker 3: There's not going to be a movie about a plane
landing and then flipping on his ass. That's not going
to be a movie.
Speaker 1: No, But the other people didn't. I mean, that's a
good point, because the pilot makes all the money Sully did.
We had somebody who was on that flight in the studio.
Really yeah, And he said like they were putting you
up in a hotel. They were trying to get you,
you know, over into Jersey because you're on that side
of the river. And he goes one guy's on the
ferry and he's trying to book a flight for that
night because he wants to just get home.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I understand that. I would think to myself,
I I totally would I go, what are the chances
of it happening again? None? Or I'm not going to
say none, that's not true, But I would think in
my head very minimally, right, minimal minimal to do that.
I don't even know how you determined the value though,
of what somebody went through. Who has to sit down
and come up with the number thirty thousand per person?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, like, Yeah, that's an odd Yeah,
it's a number. Well, they've been crunching this for a
while and probably went back and forth with lawyers. What
and don't tell me it's not to try to buy
off lawsuits? Oh absolutely, because I would feel like I
got a great story. I wasn't injured a little bit
of a scare, Okay, no big deal.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, that's all.
Speaker 1: That's the way I would look at it.
Speaker 2: Are the four people that were critically injured, they're.
Speaker 1: Not saying that they're getting able more money? No hospital.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I haven't really followed up on anything.
Speaker 1: I haven't either, because the news cycle goes so fast
and we go, well, it's all right, Hey, I hope
you do well, buddy, and now you got thirty thousand dollars,
which but it's really not all that much money when
you think about it.
Speaker 2: I don't. I think it's a good chunk.
Speaker 1: No, it's a nice chunk to get. I'm not going
to deny that. But when you you could spend that,
you should.
Speaker 2: Also get free Delta flights forever.
Speaker 1: Do you want them?
Speaker 2: Fuh?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I would too if I get Joe.
Speaker 2: How much would I be gone if I could fly
for free?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah every weekend. I literally you don't have the boys.
Even with the boys, they'd probably be gone. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love to be on the go traveling.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. The other day was like, where's your favorite
place to go?
Speaker 2: I don't know. If I love island bed. I don't
think I have a favorite place because I like to
see new places all the time, Like, you.
Speaker 1: Know, are you familiar with Charlotte? No, never, never been.
That's a fun that's a fun city.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm excited too.
Speaker 3: Is it fun for adults or fun for kids? We
went to Boston in the summer and Boston felt like
more of an adult town than with kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you bringing the kids? Oh well, I don't know.
You'd have to look do a little research. I only
would know the adult stuff, right, And I never took
my kids to Charlotte. Took them to Savannah, which was probably.
Speaker 2: Savannah like a year and a half ago when I
really liked it, but not with the kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the NFL season's over. I was trying to find
stories all throughout the year to talk about every day. No,
there's really nothing going on. But the one big controversy,
and it keeps coming back to, is you know, they
change the rules. What's this? What's that? It's easy to
say things like they should put a tracker in the ball,
and they do have it right because you can get
a lot of stats already. I think next gen stats
is tracking the footballs to where it is, but in
terms of like locating, but that still doesn't tell you
if somebody's knee is down, correct, and do we not
a little bit? I mean, I know this sounds counterintuitive
to everybody, but don't we like bitching about it? Don't
we like seeing that they got it wrong? And if
they had only seen I think there's an element of
fandom that is that.
Speaker 3: I really, do you got to blame somebody?
Speaker 1: I yes, I just think there's an element of fandom
that's that. And when you watch that game, it is
so fat. I don't know how you guys see anything.
Who the hell could tell where he was? You know
what I'm saying? Like it in real life. So I
guess if we had the technology, but even there, who
would know when the knees down? When you start putting
things in running backs knees and quarterbacks, you know what
I mean? It's crazy.
Speaker 3: I just think like the average fan just doesn't understand
that I could be four feet away from somebody and
that's not my responsibility of looking at that. I'm looking
at something else. So the average fan just doesn't understand
that every official on the field is their eyes are
already set to look at something, not where the ball is.
So not only that, but there's always angles. We always
see the instant replay on TV. You know, I could
be standing right behind a guy, I'm not going to
see that. But if the camera is in front of
the guy, the camera's going to see that. So fans
just got to know between the angles and the correct
mechanics that officials have to do. That's where the controversies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting. I didn't realize that you are you.
Our job is to focus here and something that happens
within your purview, not necessarily your call, not necessarily in
my call. Yeah, wow, I had seen. Now that's something
that I never know.
Speaker 3: There you go, because the average people they got to
know this.
Speaker 1: Well, we would and we'd start pitching. The guy was
right there, How does he not call it? I could
see it from here with the fuck's roy with that guy? Right?
Isn't that what it is?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And do you get a lot of Do you
hear a lot of the complaints from the stands when
you're doing a game.
Speaker 3: So when I was doing high school, I my position,
I was on the sideline a little bit, so I
would get flag from the fans or the coaches or
the players. But I'd say the last decade I've been
in the middle of the field, so I don't really
hear too much bullshit.
Speaker 1: Okay, did you ever say anything to them?
Speaker 3: Oh? The players? Oh off air, I know we're on air.
I've had stuff the player.
Speaker 1: Well no, here's why I say that. My son played
basketball and a guy I know was from one of
their games, and all of a sudden, he stopped and
he's like he threatened to throw an imposing fan out
because they were getting they were chirping. I couldn't hear
him from where I was, but that guy had just
had it that day.
Speaker 3: I've never done that. But uh, I did toss the
player out of the game because he called me racist,
So I did. I did throw my flag, so I
took his ass out again.
Speaker 1: I have who could even tell you? I mean, honestly,
god it And I know this is gonna sound weird.
You could look. You can't tell when you're refing who's
what color a lot of times because they're covered up,
helmet on, you're just looking at the play, you're listen,
just looking at the uniform.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember, he just got up. He said, you
didn't call that penalty because you're a fucking racist. WHOA, Well,
here you go. And I have a good one, and
then the coach wanted an explanation, told him and a
lot of being about a boom.
Speaker 2: Didn't you get into it with a coach this year?
Speaker 3: No, I haven't gotten to a coach. The only thing
I've really gotten into a coach was a mistake. I
was definitely, say, maybe two three years ago, and I
didn't want to go to a game, and I was
trying to find a replacement. I did a reply all,
so I replied to like ninety people telling them that
I had no one to watch my dog and I
was sick and everything else. So for the whole year,
everybody was just making fun of me. I show up
in this varsity coaches laughing, Oh I heard you were
sick and nobody was watching your dog, And I'm like.
Speaker 1: Shit, yeah, those reply all, that's gonna be brutal. Why
do you do this because it seems thankless?
Speaker 3: I would say. I started when I was twenty two,
twenty one, and it was all from an adding the paper.
I never played football. You never played I never played.
I went to Aquinas. I was big, I was sloppy.
I thought I was running back at three hundred pounds,
how tall are you six two?
Speaker 1: You were three hundred pounds at six to two. Okay,
did you play? I played recreation and no, But I mean,
did they ever try to get you to play? I
guess it was my question. Quinas had a good football
team for the.
Speaker 3: Were States two out of the four years.
Speaker 1: I was really Oh yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: One of the So that was one of the biggest
regrets of my life. I never played because you know,
I'm athletic and I had the ability. So no, I
just saw add the paper. Always loved the game of football.
I figured I'd give it a whirl and just kind
of rode with it.
Speaker 1: So when when you answer the ad training that you
have to go through all that kind of stuff, what
do they do there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so in the summertime, it's about a six to
ten week program once a night, twice a night for rookies,
about two hours of class. You go through mechanics, you
go through rules, you get test questions on field time.
I know, back in the day we had a lot
more officials, so you didn't go straight to divarsity. You
do JV and freshman your first two three years. But
with the short of officials, you have first year guys.
Speaker 1: Going out, but you don't do high school anymore.
Speaker 3: No. I stopped doing college about six seven years ago.
Speaker 1: How did you get the college gig?
Speaker 3: College gig? They kind of have some kind of recruitment.
You got to have somebody looking out for you. Somebody
Reckon recommended my name. I had an interview and started
doing college. And here we are.
Speaker 1: To say this. Every level that we talked about in
football is that much faster. You watch D one games
and they look really really fast. You go to the
NFL and those guys are saying, oh my god.
Speaker 3: You know I can. You know, that's a good point.
So like one of the reasons why I quit high
school is, you know, no offense to the two schools.
But I had two country schools. I don't know, Batavia Leroy,
And the night before I was at Cornell and it
was sprint football, so everybody was a hundred eight pounds
and they're flying all over the So I'm doing a
high school game the next day and it's it's just
slow as molasses, and I'm like, what am I doing?
I don't want to do this anymore. It's not fun.
So that was my last season. And yeah, but yeah,
you can definitely tell the speed of the game. I
don't think there's a huge difference. I've done a couple
of Syracuse practices, but you beat you have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, those are D one guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just practices and scrimmages.
Speaker 1: But do you want to be a D one ref?
You know?
Speaker 3: At one point I did. But the time, commitment and
the steps for me to go, yeah, I don't think
I have an interest anymore because.
Speaker 1: There's a couple guys I think in the area, yeah
that do it. And I knew. I once interviewed in
North Carolina in the Triad area and wake Forest was
down there, and I was on a flight with a
guy from Rochester who was a D one basketball ref YEP,
And I'm like, damn, dude.
Speaker 3: There's probably I don't know, I would say six to
ten guys and a seventy mile radius. Who are D
one NFL officials around here?
Speaker 1: They are or D one D one officials? Yeah yeah, basketball,
I mean football, football, football, you really don't want to.
Speaker 3: I think, uh, there was a time. So in my organization,
our next step was is usually the mac Okay yep.
But now I think our next step is the Missouri Valley.
Speaker 1: I mean you have to travel North Dakota.
Speaker 3: Yeah North. Yeah, you know you're traveling.
Speaker 2: You pay for your travel, You.
Speaker 3: Pay for your travel. You're not making a ton of scratch.
So the next step up.
Speaker 1: Wait, you have to pay for your travel.
Speaker 3: Dude, for the little D one divisions?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what about D three D three?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh yeah, oh you're paying my own gas money
and driving down the road.
Speaker 2: The playoffs like playoffs he gets actually like hotel?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the playoff they put us up in a hotel
and paid for a mileage, so wasn't too bad.
Speaker 2: But if he was D one, you pay for your flights,
you pay for your hotel and everything. So if you're
getting twelve hundred dollars a game, you may really end
up bringing home one hundred dollars if your flight's in
your hotel are expensive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3: I know a couple officials. They've started and they've just
moved up to the Missouri Valley. They done, you know,
two three years, and they're breaking even or losing money.
Speaker 1: Really Yeah, well, how about like the NFL, because these
guys are going to age out, I mean some of them. Look,
I don't even know how. It's not one guy. It's
such a big gut. You're seeing more and more in
shape refs right right, You are seeing that there's still
the others on the fringe. But I would go they
there are some full time refs.
Speaker 3: I honestly all NFL is full time at this point.
Speaker 1: It is. I think, So, okay, that's interesting because I
was wondering about that. And but they're paying. I thought
these guys were making like one hundred thousand dollars for
the season.
Speaker 3: The NFL officials are, yeah, making they're making good money. Yeah,
I would say six figures easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, I mean I think Joe needs to go.
Speaker 3: It would be nice. I just so I worked with
A I did a playoff game this year, and for
the four of the guys on the crew were being
looked at by D one conferences and whatnot. I could
tell the difference. I mean, if you were to ask
me three years ago, I wanted it one, but just
hearing the stories and everything else, like, I know I
have the ability, It's just I don't know if I
have it anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: As far as like the passion and wanting to do.
Speaker 1: It, what about coaching, I have.
Speaker 3: Zero interest in coaching.
Speaker 2: He tries to like coach the kids like Jackson, but
he's more of a basketball coach.
Speaker 3: Joe Ish, Yeah, yeah, I would say that. So at
work I coached, I tend to coach basketball. I played
basketball and football, so those are my two sports. But
I'll officiate anything. You know, it's just nobody you officiated basketball,
because that looks just at work.
Speaker 1: That looks thankless to me, that one, especially because they're
right on top of you. You can hear everything. You know.
Speaker 2: It's funny because Joe's now both my boys basketball and
Joe knows some roughs like that are roughing Lucas's league
and they've been like, what are you going to start
roughing here? He's like, no, no, nothing it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, youth sports is terrible. Yeah, that is the hardest
thing to officiate.
Speaker 1: And yeah, because you're calling a penalty probably every play.
Speaker 3: Well, no, you're not calling a penalty every play. That's
what makes it so hard. So when it's crunch time,
you know, parents want to see a travel or an
offside or anything like that, and it's like, I could
have called that the entire game. I'm not gonna call
it the last minute. Yeah, because it means.
Speaker 2: Something, Yeah, like nine ten year olds. They're letting them play.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so right, get the experience to play. Yeah, that's
a good point. All right, Well take a moment. Joe
brought something up and we had somebody on the podcast
on a regular basis for a little while who used
to have suitors do this? What are you making a
vase for it?
Speaker 2: I'm wondering who what I'll tell you?
Speaker 1: And uh, but I wanted to see because there is
it's a new thing that sexually transmitted infections don't necessarily
have to come from penetration. Yeah it doesn't. No, not
even not even that. We'll get to it right after that.
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Space is limited, reserve your spot today. This would be
more eighties style, not your two thousand trivia style. What
kind of questions do they ask the two thousands trivia?
Speaker 2: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it was like Y two k trivia, Y
two k trivia and it's sold out.
Speaker 2: It's sold out. I have So we have been on
like this theme thing, and so when we saw two
thousands of trivia, we're like, yes, but we want Matt
to do a doop like night.
Speaker 1: Who's Matt Matt Reese? Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I was like, wait,
who's Matt?
Speaker 2: Well, Like, we're like into the like douop era listening
to that music, We're like, how much fun.
Speaker 1: Would have Are there duop bands out anywhere?
Speaker 2: I don't know, do wop karaoke? Like if Matt could
do like a duop brunch, Like and I've talked to
some of my friends at the gym, all like these
forty year old women. They're like, that would be so
much fun because he's doing those two thousands.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, in the nineties and they sell out. Yes,
they all sell out. I know. Yeah, huh, that's an
interesting thing. I wouldn't think like two thousands trivia, but
sure why not?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, that would be like a trivia that I
could actually win on, like fucking Kevin's name, that tune
that I never went closest to the pain that I'm
like last night.
Speaker 1: Oh, I saw this article today about Sti's and I
thought it was sort of interesting, only because I remember
when Stephanie would come in here. She was very adamant
before being in the long term relationship that whoever she
was going to be with had to be tested. And
then one guy invited to go away, and just before
they were about to take off, he never got the
test done and he started the ghost her, and you know,
I guess that's telling you something, right. So I saw
this thing, and it says that you can get it
from skin to skin contact certain STIs, which ones, well,
they're saying oral sex, even share personal items like razors
or needles can also spread infections. Syphilis, goneria, chlamydia, and
herpes are among the STIs that could be transmitted through
non penetrative means. Okay, syphilis, goneria, chlamydia, and herpes.
Speaker 2: Is it sharing like a razor to like shave your pubes?
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's sharing, like I'll say this. I
wonder if let's say, you grab his razor to shave
your legs. Don't tell him, but it was right there.
It's just easier. You're in a rush, and he comes
in later and shaves his face and nicks it. And
if there was something on you there, it is you
know what I mean, and you wouldn't even know it. Potentially.
I think there's a lot of people who don't even
know they have an STI oh, I believe that. I
think there's something that that people just carry. They're just carriers.
They don't even and oh, never mind.
Speaker 2: You're gonna tell your story.
Speaker 3: Oh should I tell my story? I'll tell a story.
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying for something, Joe, you don't have to
do it, buddy.
Speaker 3: You know you totally use the keyword carrier. So I
have to have to tell my story. I was on
a couch taking a nap. It's probably eight nine years ago,
and I woke up from a text message from a
girl who told me that she just had her annual checkup.
And I said, okay, you know, blah blah blah. So
I'm reading this text message and it said that she
tested hot for committia. Now this is the Friday before Easter,
so I get this text message. I'm supposed to be
at work in an hour. Twenty six minutes later, I'm
at urgent Care and the doctor goes, what brings you here?
I go this text message right here. Doctor starts laughing
his ass off. He goes, you know, usually for men.
I was, I would give you the test, but at
this point I kind of believe you probably have it.
So he just came back with two giant ass blue pills.
He said, I got your Easter eggs for you. Told
me to wrap it up. So she was a carrier,
she had she was she was a carrier.
Speaker 1: So he's saying that you so what it was chlamydia?
And I don't know anything about these things enough. I
would love to get an expert on to talk about this,
because there's a way I'm gonna take this conversation in
a second. But my curiosity is.
Speaker 3: I had a symptom?
Speaker 1: Are there always?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: But is it always? You know how like herpes is
always with you, Like herpes can lay dormant, it's always?
Is that the same with chlamydia?
Speaker 3: I understand. Committee is like a cold.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, you were sneezing out your yeah
pretty much. Yeah did it burn?
Speaker 3: My symptoms like.
Speaker 2: That, like you can get over you can get out
of it, literally like you have it? Yeah, yeah, no, no,
I was literally I was with my college friends. You
were there but this past weekend, and we were like,
how did we all escape from college without anything?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: And my one friend goes, well, you know I did
have a baby.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, but you won the prize.
Speaker 2: None of us, we never got anything.
Speaker 1: I almost wondered, like, with the fact that this is
out now right, we could just have it sexually turned
you could have somebody, you could have your partner cheating
on you use his razor or her razor. You know
what I'm saying, Like, there's our ways that shit can happen.
The chlamydia one sounds like it sounds nasty to me,
And I remember looking at picture books when I was
a kid of you know, Klymya. They show the worst
thing in the world, look like LEOPARDSY go like, yeah,
a piece of the dicks on the floor. I don't know,
but this is uh. I wonder if they need to
teach sex ad differently.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that when you're so young and
you're learning about it, you sort of laugh it off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because because it's embarrassing and it's something that your
parents probably never talked to you about, so it's a
little uncomfortable. And then you think, again, it's never gonna
happen to me, right, It's never gonna happen to me.
Speaker 2: I know someone an older person. Actually.
Speaker 1: By the way, Joe, I'm sorry to interrupt. Was that
a group text you received?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: No, plus people at the top.
Speaker 2: Urgent you hear because of the Karen too.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I wanted to see. After I read this,
I go, okay, I need to know stats on contraceptive
no contraception use because the skinned the skin thing is scary.
I still think it's going to be rare. I think
most people were getting STI s are getting it from
oral sex or some kind of oral sex. Or sex.
Speaker 2: No, I do know someone who's older who has herpes
because their husband, well ex husband cheated on them, got it.
Never told this person?
Speaker 1: And but wait, do we know that he got it
from that? Because again I think some of these things
I think can lay dormant in you, Like it could
have been someone like Joe who didn't know she had
it and then she gives it to you, and you
go another ten years and then all of a sudden
your accused of cheating and he didn't. Yeah, but did
he admit to cheating?
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, he got divorced.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right? So I went through and I wanted
to see what specific statistics are for people like twenty five,
because there's more people I think now we're living longer,
especially women. We hear about one of the hottest spots
for STIs is the villages in Florida, right, I mean right,
it could be, don't They have the different loofahs and stuff.
Speaker 2: Karen was just telling me her parents are going to
buy a place down.
Speaker 1: There, so they did. I was looking through a twenty
seventeen CDC report. Now we're going back, believe it or not,
it's close to ten years, right, seven years found that
out among unmarried men ages thirty five to forty four okay,
unmarried guys, yeah, who had sexual intercourse in the past
three months, twenty five point eight percent reported using a
condom during their last sexual encounter. Only twenty five point
eight percent. Well, because I just don't think, I swear
to God, I don't think.
Speaker 2: As you get older, you think, oh, I escaped my
college years. I escaped my young years.
Speaker 1: Yes, and I think that's where we're seeing the greater
STI stuff, because that's it. And I think even women, right,
you know, I mean I probably never told somebody, hey,
you got to put a condom on. I'm not I'm
not I'm not looking. I'm not looking. Why we all
laughing at? What did I do? That's something You're going
to go first?
Speaker 2: You fairst you can go first.
Speaker 3: All right? You want to go at the same time?
Speaker 1: One, two, three, do it.
Speaker 3: I don't believe e condoms. You don't believe in them either.
Speaker 1: I'm not a car okay, right, because they don't feel
as good.
Speaker 2: No, I mean I did. I did use them.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the worse.
Speaker 2: But like if I was sleeping, sleeping with the same
person consistently, fuck now, okay, can't make them go tested.
Speaker 1: Right, and you didn't make them go get tested. Okay,
So these figures suggest that condom use decreases as men age. Yeah,
particularly among those incommitted relationships, right, even if they're not
married but committed. Uh So, then I wanted to see
women over twenty five and a lot of the data
for this stuff is really limited. You can't really find it.
I mean, I'm not a research expert, but yeah, you know,
there are tools we can all use now. So they
have data from twenty seventeen to twenty nineteen. In the case,
that's sixty five point three percent of women in the
United States ages fifteen to forty nine. We're using contraception,
which I believe is probably true. And I guarantee contraceptive. Yes, yes,
I'm not saying but we could throw a condom into
contraception presenting pregnancy.
Speaker 2: But is birth control contrast.
Speaker 1: So there's two things that I took away from this one.
The majority of this falls on a woman, and I
don't think it's ever discussed. It just does. And I
think for guys, I don't like econdom. Yeah, I don't
like the way it feels either. Don't worry about it.
And so what else is there for a dude right now?
I mean I I they haven't come up with a
pill yet, right or anything. Okay, So therefore it falls
on the woman and that seems a little bit unfair
if you think about it. But according to contraceptive use,
approximately sixty five point three percent of women in those
age groups, twenty one percent of women age eighteen to
ninety four. What ninety four. Yeah, it's a relative of
Laura's from way way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, great, great grandmother's still howling at the moon. Yeah,
it does, say eighteen to ninety four reported using econdom
during the most recent vaginal intercourse. Wow, but that's twenty
one percent. But still love, It's still love, and so
most of it is, I mean, the only thing. I
just wonder because and then you got to think about
this too. Now, there are things that are done and
I'm not so sure they're marketed toward kids. You're boys
age or maybe a little bit older than you York boys,
and about my son's age are slightly younger than him,
and it would be these vaccines, right HPV. Yeah, And
I'm not sure. I'm not sure about them, but the
HPV usually doesn't. Guys can be carriers and it doesn't
really affect them, but it does affect women. It can
caused cancer.
Speaker 2: It's so so so common HPV. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they
say like eighty percent of people.
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's the highest eighty I was.
Speaker 1: I was starting to think eighty five.
Speaker 2: I was really thinking it was like eighty percent.
Speaker 1: I thought it was higher than that. No, I'm guessing,
but yes, so I mean, do you think that that's
a good idea or not. I always worry, like another
vaccine doesn't really work? What are we doing here? I'm
not sure I trust science? You do, yeah, okay? If yeah, Well,
look the thing is like down the line, who knows
when you're fifty five years old kicking back in the
villages and all of a sudden, you're plumbing is falling
out because you got you know, because you didn't use
stuff in the past. It's just it's just interesting to
me and scary.
Speaker 2: But I do think that like, yeah, there should be
fuck you should go to bars and have con them
is out like because people I don't think people always
go out and they're prepared.
Speaker 1: I thought this area was one of the highest for
STDs in the country. St Yeah, because I know.
Speaker 2: That I'm really lucky.
Speaker 1: Who's willing to take a camel tonight? It's coming up tonight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've heard that too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just figure everybody's a walking peatri dish, and
you gotta you're gonna take your chances, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but when you're I mean, when you're drinking, you
don't always make the best of.
Speaker 1: Course, you don't make good decisions when you're drunk. No,
your ambitions are gone. Wake up next to people that
you would never even probably have a conversation with. It's like, well, oh,
not that I would know anything about that. I've never
been there. I'm just saying that that's the uh. Yeah,
so you can see. I think chlaminia Mississippi leads with chlaminia.
How about Georgia leads with HIV.
Speaker 2: Well, I won't be fucking in Georgia.
Speaker 1: No, but I think WHOA, We don't worry.
Speaker 3: The only person you're fucking is me.
Speaker 1: But I think the Georgia stuff. I wonder sometimes if
there is a lot of download.
Speaker 2: Too, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I could see that.
Speaker 1: Who did a joke recently somewhere an award show or
something goes, oh, there's a lot of gay men here
tonight with their wives, kids on the d L and
that's the stuff. Look, years ago, I did.
Speaker 2: Something because if you're having I mean two gay men,
you're not really worried about getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: No like, but you should be worried about other things
potentially potentially yeh. And anybody should be is my point.
But here here's something in that I did on the
radio many many years ago, and it was something when
I looked back on it, it always made me feel
pretty bad for the person. We had heard that people
would go to area parks and if they backed in
and they sat in their car, they were looking for
a hookup. And it was the same sex hookup guys.
So we decided that we wanted to see who was
the hottest member of the morning show, and we went
out and we timed who got hit on first?
Speaker 2: Right, how many hours did it take it?
Speaker 1: It didn't. It was quick for some people. So the
interesting thing was there was one guy who had backed
in and an older gentleman just looked like the happy grandpa,
happy grandpa. He comes and he's like, hey, he's because
he was backed in and this guy backs in next
to him and he goes, hey, how's it going. He
goes hey, and he's like, uh, you want to take
a walk in the woods, because that's what they would do.
They would take a walk on these back pads. He
wanted to take a walk in the woods. And the
guy goes, no, I'm just waiting for my wife. He goes, ah,
I'm married, and the guy goes holds up his hand.
He goes me too. He said me too, and he goes, Oh,
my wife's coming down with the dogs. We're gonna walk
through the park. He goes, oh, okay, no problem. Now,
there was nothing rude about this at all. The man
was not aggressive or anything but honest to God. When
I thought about it and made me the only thing
I can come up with is sad and sad because
this guy who was married was living a lie. Because
society at that time was never going to accept this dude.
He did not appear, as we would say, whatever, the stereotypical.
Sometimes you can spot it. Some people like to be flamboyant,
and that's just them. That wasn't this guy right. He
was a little more well, we would say like a guy.
He's just a guy, and he was on the down
loan and you think about the shit, all the shit
you can bring home. You're just hooking up with some
rando in the park. You know, they put on their
best sweater that day, and you know what I'm saying,
You know what I mean, like their jeans were pressed.
I don't know, they look neat how I yeah, you
can't tell. And I go, that's the stuff that I
think is the most scary. And it made me feel
terrible for this guy because I go, you know, he's
lived his entire life never fully satisfied. Don't tell me
that somewhere along the line his wife could pick up
on something was missing. But you know, we're in a
time where you stayed together, you had kids, you did
this thing, and now here you are and the journey's
almost over, and you're fucking some guy behind a bush
in a park to be who you really are. I mean,
I don't mean to put it that bluntly, but I'm
putting that bluntly. I honestly got to go, God, man,
we fucked people up with these rules. Be who you
want to be, because it isn't that long and who's
getting hurt, you know, I mean if he if he no, yes,
in this situation, the current situation, Yes, a lot of
people are getting hurt, the wife, the kids, if they
find out out, what's going to go on, all the
psychologicals yet. But if that guy could just be authentically himself,
who's getting hurt? Yeah, nobody, Yeah, nobody is not fucking
up my life, you know what I mean. I mean,
it's a great story. If all of a suddenly I
was in the porgan I saw I mean, this mister
Morgan down there, I don't be on the bush coming
out pulling up his pants. Here comes another guy. They're
high five, and it's like.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, this story is my what well,
what how does this happen today?
Speaker 1: Like three or four times, you guys go, oh, yeah,
you want to tell a story. I'll tell a story.
Speaker 3: This has nothing to do No.
Speaker 2: So my ex husband, Yeah, his girlfriend that he's been
with for three years, her x came out as gay
or actually had two kids. And he had a boyfriend
who lived in Brazil who was like a lot younger
than him.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean he's a super super nice guy. I've met him.
I'm sure he is numerous hides.
Speaker 1: But was that relationship going on, because there are people
who we know have gotten married went by the societal
things suppressed to you or suppressed and then one point
go maybe they made out with somebody, didn't go that far,
but they're like, I can't live this way. It's a
lie to you, it's a lie to me.
Speaker 2: Were never going to be you know, I've never like
really asked details because I don't want him to feel
like I'm judging or her. But like, I just know
that they.
Speaker 1: Got away getting it out, Laura.
Speaker 2: I also, I am going to say, like I respect
their privacy, but I know that as you.
Speaker 4: Just told the whole story, we don't know who they
always actually I'm.
Speaker 2: Not saying their names, but I know that he came
out and said I'm gay and I have a boyfriend,
and that was the end of their marriage. Like he's
still with the guy actually, Like I've talked to him
about going to visit his boy friend.
Speaker 1: The guy still lives in Brazil. Oh yeah, so better
get him here legally. So what does he do?
Speaker 2: He has to fly to visit each other.
Speaker 1: I know must be worn out, but it's a very
busy weekend.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you would think that you'd want someone closer
that's a little more available. Yeah, maybe maybe that's a
nice thing. You know, you've been married for a couple
of years. He did that whole routine. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah.
Speaker 2: When I started dating Joe, He's like, I have a
hard schedule. I work like two to nine.
Speaker 1: And I was like that perfect.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't know, I will like I was like,
that gives me my mean time. I don't have to
like cater to you most nights.
Speaker 1: Like that's the Uh it is, Yes, it is an
interesting thing like that. I had a friend Bobby Slaton,
who's been on the podcast, and Bobby used to do
a whole joke about, you know, how jealousy was of
gay guys because they because he's like, come on, you're
hanging out with another dude right after the acts done.
You want to watch the ball game. You watch the
ball game together. It's awesome.
Speaker 3: No, you're not buying that.
Speaker 1: This whole thing, like, you know, he would go on
and on. It was really funny the way he presented it.
You know, he's like, I don't have to cuddle, there's
no cuddling afterwards, I don't have to hold you. I
don't have to, and I'm going.
Speaker 2: Rene and I joked that we used to wish we
would be lesbians together. We're like our house would be
so clean, like we would both be on top of shit,
like you know, one of us would always be cooked.
Speaker 1: Don't you need a little bit of the opposite somewhere
along the line, like a little bit Well, yeah, somebody
who's a little bit different slightly, Yeah, I mean yeah,
I don't know.
Speaker 2: I prefer man.
Speaker 1: I know, I can tell, I can tell she wants
two men once in a while.
Speaker 4: No, I'm just saying that was the fantasy, like.
Speaker 1: People watching, watching watching, Yes, why.
Speaker 2: Don't you me to shut the windows?
Speaker 1: Okay, fringe fast next year?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not, what are you talking about.
Speaker 1: It'll be an art thing. We put you down at
like the what's that square in downtown innovative Square? We
put you there and then people get to watch.
Speaker 3: We can polar bear what if we did?
Speaker 1: What if we did like the two way glass so
you can't see out, you can't see out, but everybody
else can.
Speaker 3: Eventually I'm gonna come out of that door and then
everybody is gonna.
Speaker 1: No, the police have to get everybody away, and then
but that night you'd be at dinner and all of
a sudden, a couple of free drinks show up. I
mean that dude put on a show today, the best
fringe frest ever. Okay, just check it, just.
Speaker 2: Check your options open.
Speaker 1: All right, worse trivia tonight, grah the ice Plex?
Speaker 2: No, no, the one Now you're Sea brace O. Whole
bunch of burn people.
Speaker 1: Okay, burn people going to well go, drink.
Speaker 2: Beer, have burgers, and then be at the gym in
the morning.
Speaker 1: See that's great. Burn it off. Yeah, I gotta get
that disappointment. I got Joe, thank you for coming in
and playing.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: He was great. The NFL stuff was great. Your story
about the carrier was fantastic. You know the group text
you receives about it, and Laurie, you never disappoint ever.
I'm Bill Moran. We'll see you next week. California Baby,
Friends of god Worth.
Speaker 2: He's a land up opportunity for me.
Speaker 1: Is just a curse.
Speaker 3: Judge, you make us feel