Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to the first episode of the series Cult
Speaker 1: of Cryptids. This is a collaboration with Strange Brew Podcast
Speaker 1: hosted on the network of the Cult of Conspiracy. The
Speaker 1: fellas have allowed me to enter your circle and insert
Speaker 1: myself inside of your ear holes for a new series
Speaker 1: all about cryptids. But to start off this series, we're
Speaker 1: going to be giving you some throwback episodes, some classic
Speaker 1: cryptid episodes that Strange Brew podcast did a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, and it'll eventually lead us into new episodes.
Speaker 1: We'll be creating more and more cryptid content for everybody
Speaker 1: here at the Cult of Conspiracy. Now, if you don't
Speaker 1: know me, I am Tom kataka Tom Thompson, the Raptilian.
Speaker 1: I have many different aliases. I am a hip hop artist,
Speaker 1: a podcaster, and an outspoken dissident of the government. And
Speaker 1: this should be a fun series for everybody. You're going
Speaker 1: to get some throwback episodes from cryptids that we've already
Speaker 1: covered over at Strange Brew Podcasts, and we want everybody
Speaker 1: to enjoy themselves. And we started off Stranger Podcasts as
Speaker 1: essentially getting drunk and talking about anything and everything strange,
Speaker 1: and that included cryptids. So we're being brought on board
Speaker 1: every Wednesday to do a fun little series now where
Speaker 1: we're going to dive into all sorts of different cryptids
Speaker 1: and monsters and mythical creatures. And for the first little
Speaker 1: bit of the series, you'll get introduced to some of
Speaker 1: the older episodes from Stranger Podcasts where we covered some
Speaker 1: of this material. And if we sound like babbling, drunken idiots,
Speaker 1: it's because at the time we were. But we still
Speaker 1: think that you will really enjoy our humor and what
Speaker 1: we're bringing to the table when it comes to podcasting.
Speaker 1: We only ever started this show to make light of
Speaker 1: dark situations and the weird, strange things that exist in
Speaker 1: our reality. Yes, at the beginning of this series, you
Speaker 1: will be getting some classic cryptid episodes that we've already
Speaker 1: covered on Strange Brew podcast and we really hope you
Speaker 1: enjoy it. We're taking it back to a cryptid classic
Speaker 1: four years ago where we talked about technically a cryptid
Speaker 1: I would say about the dark side of fairies and pixies.
Speaker 1: Here at Cult of Conspiracy, Jeffrey.
Speaker 2: Dahmer sod the blood are you and the bomber blowing
Speaker 2: up Waco, Texas? And Heaven's Gates, Aliens, Modify Men from Apes,
Speaker 2: Hitler faces death and then escaped, Big and the moth Man,
Speaker 2: Son of Sam, Talking to Talk Again, Witches, Sank, Codlin's
Speaker 2: Mysterious Noise, and Hot Dings, Dark Guards and the Scull
Speaker 2: and Bones.
Speaker 1: Most elevenies a Provac loan. So when you're feeling all.
Speaker 2: Alone, grabbing beer and get stone a welcome you to
Speaker 2: the podcast Strange Brew.
Speaker 1: What are you to entertain you? That's what we're here
Speaker 1: do is I'm kind of very selfish, you fucking Welcome
Speaker 1: to the Strange Brew podcast.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Tom kat Ak, Tom Thompson.
Speaker 3: And I'm I don't like I'm also your host.
Speaker 1: It is probably one of the hottest days we've had
Speaker 1: yet in Canada, and I'm getting sweaty. It's a nice
Speaker 1: it's a nice, nice fun I like it.
Speaker 3: Today's a little.
Speaker 1: A little too hot for my fucking liking.
Speaker 3: You got you gotta get like that plus fifteen and
Speaker 3: yes I'm talking Celsius fucking lunatics Sharenheit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, getting the real time it's like twenty hours ago.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, Hot's that.
Speaker 1: They're like four and they always have to get the
Speaker 1: Canadian like for the Canadians whatever, Celsius it's here, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, fuck off.
Speaker 3: You know my favorite one is the fact that zero
Speaker 3: means zero. That's freezing point. Yours is like negative negative seven.
Speaker 3: What's the jamie? We got a we got a little
Speaker 3: jamie from Joe Rogan here.
Speaker 1: To the difference fahrenheit and celsi is.
Speaker 3: No. I just want to know what the freezing point
Speaker 3: is for freezing for fahrenheit. Isn't it like negative seven
Speaker 3: or something?
Speaker 1: I thought it was plus something because they're their temperatures high.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, maybe yeah, plus seven. It's something stupid, that's
Speaker 3: the freezing point for fahrenheit.
Speaker 1: I'm about to take a shot of some whiskey. I
Speaker 1: got some. Uh, two degrees is the free freezing point.
Speaker 3: Isn't that ridiculous? How does that make sense?
Speaker 1: I knew that because cooking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a free The freezing points what gets me.
Speaker 3: That's why can't it just be zero?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Almost? I also got some of your American beer
Speaker 1: Peraps Blue Ribbon, the disgusting Ship. But it's stronger, so.
Speaker 3: It's not crant. It's not that bad. It's just a
Speaker 3: it's the iconic beer for anyone that lives in a
Speaker 3: trailer park. Yep, that's the beer they drink. Strange kind
Speaker 3: of brew.
Speaker 1: All right, so let us get into it. We'll be
Speaker 1: talking about fairies, but more of the dark side of fairies.
Speaker 1: We can touch upon all sorts of faeries. Yeah, when
Speaker 1: you think about fairies, what comes to mind?
Speaker 3: Uh? People?
Speaker 1: I know a dude walking around and pride with the
Speaker 1: skirt on? Is that like a is that an actual term? No, fairies,
Speaker 1: but that's it's meant for? Like it's not again, like it's.
Speaker 3: Is that an offensive term.
Speaker 1: To describe?
Speaker 3: Yeah? But like I feel like they call themselves that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, little, I feel like I've heard.
Speaker 3: I just feel like I've heard that. I feel like it.
Speaker 3: It seems like it's okay, but it is derogatory.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well I get that, like all of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean with that, with that exact example.
Speaker 1: This before, like, I've got a gay uncle and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to tell he's gay unless you talked
Speaker 1: to him, like and unless you see his fucking two
Speaker 1: nipple rings he has poking through his shirt. That's a
Speaker 1: fucking great telle that he's probably good.
Speaker 3: I think I've seen straight guys nipple rings.
Speaker 1: My cousin Dane did that. That was in the podcast.
Speaker 1: He said he got one nipple pierced and it was
Speaker 1: so painful that he didn't know what he got the
Speaker 1: second one pierced, and then he did it and then
Speaker 1: his nipples went purple and he had to take them out.
Speaker 3: I almost got my peers a while back. I got scared.
Speaker 1: To be honest, well, one thing I wouldn't get. Well,
Speaker 1: nipples supposed to hurt the most, especially even like on men.
Speaker 1: And I saw back in the day, I saw a
Speaker 1: girl get her nipples pierced, like I was just beyond
Speaker 1: the curtain, and I just satisfying beyond the curtain because
Speaker 1: they put the curtain across.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that girl with a nipple piercing, And you were
Speaker 3: just on the other side of the curtain, like you
Speaker 3: were peeping.
Speaker 1: On peeping tom. That's what they call me. Uh. You
Speaker 1: probably picture in a doorable and sparkle creature akin to
Speaker 1: to Disney's tinker Bell, a lovely above all friends press.
Speaker 1: You may even want to toke a tiny joint with them. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: glittery humanoids with butterfly wings are stuff of children's stories.
Speaker 1: Retrace fairy folklore or fay folklore and in history and
Speaker 1: you'll discover they're they're weird and scary origins. And uh,
Speaker 1: me and my girlfriend just watched our prime Oh, Carnival Row. Yes,
Speaker 1: Carnival Row. It was actually pretty good and it's based
Speaker 1: I'm going to show this out because it's a popular
Speaker 1: show and stuff like that, but it's actually a pretty
Speaker 1: good show. I can't wait in the next seas. It's
Speaker 1: almost like it's in a world where like creatures exist,
Speaker 1: mythological creatures, but it's like kind of set in like
Speaker 1: the eighteenth century, kind of nineteenth century, and they have
Speaker 1: like and there's somebody murders one of the fairies and
Speaker 1: then Orlando Bloom has to solve the crime. But he's
Speaker 1: actually a fairy spoiler alert, but he gots wings cut
Speaker 1: off and like that. So it's kind of it's I
Speaker 1: know it would. It's it's actually a really good show.
Speaker 1: And like the guy who wrote it was amazed when
Speaker 1: they started to develop the show because a song he
Speaker 1: wrote that he never thought would become a television show
Speaker 1: and it's like a whole town and ship. He was like,
Speaker 1: this is crazy, Like I wrote this fucking ship. Cultures
Speaker 1: all over the world put their own disturbing spin on
Speaker 1: the fay or fairies. Just because they're mythological doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that fairies are any less frightening. Let's get into the
Speaker 1: darker side of fairies. Just remember to shut your windows
Speaker 1: tight before you go to sleep tonight.
Speaker 3: I kind of want a fairy to come in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to suck your dick. She was like
Speaker 1: looking at like a lick, just she could just lick
Speaker 1: if she's that small. We can say that. We can
Speaker 1: say that like that. All fairies, and we're gonna get
Speaker 1: a pixies too, are not just fucking little tiny creatures.
Speaker 1: Some of them can be human sized. But when I
Speaker 1: was looking up to it's like a lot of fairies
Speaker 1: have to do like more or less good ones. Uh,
Speaker 1: they more have to do with the elements of the earth.
Speaker 1: So there's like fairies that have to do with water,
Speaker 1: bad and good ones. Fairies that like av well kind
Speaker 1: of yeah, they like to. There's fairies that live around
Speaker 1: bonfires and shit like that. I remember what bonfire stands for,
Speaker 1: the fire bone fire because they used to burn people right,
Speaker 1: So like and there's everything like fucking air fairies, earth fairies.
Speaker 1: So they kind of do the elements of the Earth,
Speaker 1: but they're also like like really rooted into more Irish
Speaker 1: and Scottish culture, which is actually interesting because they're the
Speaker 1: ones that really believe, actually the Irish we believe in
Speaker 1: fucking fairies. Uh we did. We did exclude the leprechaun
Speaker 1: episode that we'll be back. We will touch upon leprechauns
Speaker 1: again one day, but we were just too drunk for
Speaker 1: the episode. Yeah, so that's uh, that's God Forever in
Speaker 1: the Books of Trade. But we're definitely gonna get back
Speaker 1: into it because that ship's hilarious, like the way fucking
Speaker 1: they are in general. But so let's get in the
Speaker 1: first one. The banshee. You know what a banshee is probably.
Speaker 3: Right, like the.
Speaker 1: Screams.
Speaker 3: It's not an ape, is not it isn't like what
Speaker 3: is it? It's a mammal.
Speaker 1: Also known as a woman. Uh, furry back to the
Speaker 1: other way.
Speaker 3: Hold up, what like, what category is a banshee?
Speaker 1: Uh, she's a fairy.
Speaker 3: No normal, it's a woman.
Speaker 1: It's a woman.
Speaker 3: No, the animal.
Speaker 1: There's no animal called a banshee, is there not losing
Speaker 1: my mind? Yeah, there is no animal called a banshee.
Speaker 1: There is like, I feel like there is no a barracuda.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking like a banci like a monkey. Isn't that
Speaker 3: a thing? No, there's no up thing. Where did I
Speaker 3: get that from?
Speaker 1: I don't know. The banshee is essentially like a woman fairy.
Speaker 1: Are you listening? She originated in Ireland and is said
Speaker 1: to be the most active at night before a passing,
Speaker 1: so before somebody dies, she kind of shows up, almost
Speaker 1: like the grim Reaper.
Speaker 3: Oh fucking okay, I was actually reading it. A banshee
Speaker 3: is yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think that was so she ended up. She
Speaker 1: shows up when people are dying, which is like kind
Speaker 1: of creepy like, almost like Grim Reaper and some folklore.
Speaker 1: She even comes to the doors of those who are
Speaker 1: expected to pass, like.
Speaker 3: She could just hang out at the elder.
Speaker 1: She screams right, it makes fucking loud noises. She looks
Speaker 1: like a full sized human female and know her appearance
Speaker 1: varies by region. Her hair is always stringy, and she
Speaker 1: always wears a white gown or a shroud.
Speaker 3: It's got to be white so you see all the bloodstains, yes,
Speaker 3: because she gotta know every single one. The black ones
Speaker 3: hide it too much and you gotta show off your work.
Speaker 1: That sounds got to know what did she the black ones?
Speaker 3: The black dress?
Speaker 1: See the black ones?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the black dress?
Speaker 1: Okay he nobody else would have thought that. She frequently
Speaker 1: appears and she frequently appears covered in moss as well.
Speaker 1: She's like coming out of the fucking swampy bogs violin.
Speaker 3: Like ocean ten days to die. Was she a mermaid?
Speaker 1: No, but there is kind of mermaid ship when we
Speaker 1: will get into kind of I think, but the Banshee
Speaker 1: is recognized by her loud, her loud mourning whales. No,
Speaker 1: it would be like a whale, like you're crying, not
Speaker 1: like a whale, whil like a whaling. Oh like like
Speaker 1: you know she's crying, like no, my husband killed.
Speaker 3: Me, you know what I mean? Like, I like. I
Speaker 3: like that my whale impersonation was good enough for you
Speaker 3: to think that that's what I was doing. I like that.
Speaker 1: So, uh, if you hear her whales her moaning, which
Speaker 1: are she said that? Which means that she is the
Speaker 1: harbinger of death. So someone's about to die. If you
Speaker 1: hear a female moan, you might be about to die.
Speaker 3: That happens way too much.
Speaker 1: This is I so some of these words I might
Speaker 1: fuck up pronouncing. Sorry Irish people, a scotsh whatever's in.
Speaker 3: It should be in our bio.
Speaker 1: Just just a lot of spelling to be wrong. I know,
Speaker 1: are like speech, but I'm saying I looked up today
Speaker 1: how to pronounce all of these and some of them
Speaker 1: didn't even show up.
Speaker 3: And just looking at that pronunciation, you put it in
Speaker 3: Google Speak and you press.
Speaker 1: Did that some of these didn't show up?
Speaker 3: What do you mean you? I could hit any I
Speaker 3: could just mash aboard and Google would say it.
Speaker 1: This thing is called the bean fion, the bean fion.
Speaker 1: Let me try literally bean on fion, all.
Speaker 4: Right, fair trade bean bean fion, typically illustrated as and
Speaker 4: haggard and old, probably a woman.
Speaker 1: Red capes are said to be Oh no, they're just
Speaker 1: the little creatures, typically illustrated as haggard and old. Red
Speaker 1: caps are said to be said to be armed with
Speaker 1: razor sharp teeth and claws. They have red caps, and
Speaker 1: they are said that they have razor shop claws and.
Speaker 3: Teeth like red skull.
Speaker 1: No, a little like little hats, like like toad from
Speaker 1: our you know, you know, like that, you know, the
Speaker 1: fairy hats are like kind of like, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like a weird little fucking
Speaker 1: triangle hat they wear like almost why would you cap either,
Speaker 1: do I It's almost like cluekluts clan rope, but were
Speaker 1: just out the road birthday, Yeah exactly, that's actually your
Speaker 1: way to put it. So they have raisor sharp teeth
Speaker 1: and claws which they used to eat humans and fairies alike.
Speaker 1: Their name hints at their vicious nature. Red cat, Oh
Speaker 1: this is fucked red. Their red caps, their red little
Speaker 1: hats mop up their target's blood with their caps out
Speaker 1: there committing a slang. So they fucking murder. Someone's like,
Speaker 1: let's this clean this up right here, and take my
Speaker 1: little hat and I'll clean it up. And they put
Speaker 1: their hat back on it. It's like just drenched in blood.
Speaker 3: No, their hat's probably like some crazy ass bounty material
Speaker 3: motherfuckers like that. That's where mister Clean came from. You
Speaker 3: like chopped like two of them up and made an enterprise.
Speaker 1: And now now the mister Clean is actually a real person.
Speaker 1: He's a bald, gay guy with an earring, and he
Speaker 1: goes around and he fucking slaughters fairies for their hats.
Speaker 3: That's what mister car I thought you were actually telling
Speaker 3: me a story for a second, and I'm really I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure it was mister clean based off.
Speaker 1: He had to Okay, well, like I had to have
Speaker 1: been based off somebody bean. The bean fion or fairies
Speaker 1: are also known as the drowning fairies fucking dicks. They
Speaker 1: are said to pull children into their watery doom. What
Speaker 1: a fucking bunch of this.
Speaker 3: Makes them drown? Yeah, a little horrible. That's a horrible
Speaker 3: way to die. I think I think I've said that
Speaker 3: a couple of times down. I think that's my worst
Speaker 3: I don't want to drown too much.
Speaker 1: Content weird thing is I've heard drowning is actually peaceful.
Speaker 3: I guess if you embrace it. If you just said
Speaker 3: fuck it and you like, let the water go, and
Speaker 3: they would knock you out like pretty instantly.
Speaker 1: Every year when I go to the cottage, I don't
Speaker 1: give a fu I do this while I dive as
Speaker 1: far as I can kind of go, and I fucking
Speaker 1: chase myself to the fucking top. One day, Charles is
Speaker 1: gonna find me floating in the world.
Speaker 3: I gotta come one weekend. Yeah, honestly, they at this second,
Speaker 3: I see you coming back up and like a cannon
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 1: All right, So if if you're searching for a beef
Speaker 1: on you or fucking beef on fairy beef be bean
Speaker 1: bean fion, this doesn't sound You're advised to look around
Speaker 1: in dark waters where drownings have occurred because you might
Speaker 1: find one.
Speaker 3: To find a dead body.
Speaker 1: Billy heat round over there, and then we went over
Speaker 1: there and I saw a.
Speaker 3: Fairy and it was right there and then and then
Speaker 3: and then.
Speaker 1: These creatures were likely devised by parents looking to keep
Speaker 1: their children from playing in the water. But it doesn't
Speaker 1: make them any less.
Speaker 3: Creepy, kind of does, Yeah, that's exactly what that does.
Speaker 1: According to Irish folklore, the slaw or fairies, thought to
Speaker 1: have be the souls of evil people. These fairies travel
Speaker 1: and swarms that night. That's fucking scary and like, I
Speaker 1: don't get like that. I don't like the swarm idea, no,
Speaker 1: because we were talking about bees and that one and
Speaker 1: I don't know frogs. Frogs. It's like that, but often
Speaker 1: appearing like blackbirds. There are like weird little creatures and
Speaker 1: they prefer the prey of dying people who have yet
Speaker 1: to given their last rights, which is a fucking dick move.
Speaker 3: So well, that means they get some sort of representation,
Speaker 3: Like why can't I say that word? Uh?
Speaker 1: What's the word repreendation? I don't know what I'm trying
Speaker 1: to recommendation.
Speaker 3: It's a word you get when you feel proud of it,
Speaker 3: like you do something and you get some sort of
Speaker 3: reward for it. They can't think of the word. What
Speaker 3: word am I trying to say? No, it's okay, you
Speaker 3: feel you feel pride for it. Like someone's got to
Speaker 3: know what word I'm getting out here? No, like you take,
Speaker 3: like you do something you get, you get the feeling
Speaker 3: of you take separate. There's a word I like.
Speaker 1: This, you take solace in doing bad ship because it
Speaker 1: eventually like you feel good about doing bad ship?
Speaker 3: Right, that's okay? Or how a better word? The word
Speaker 3: I was trying to say, reward? Did they get some
Speaker 3: sort of reward for taking the soul before it gets.
Speaker 1: The get dick move? Yeah, it's like they.
Speaker 3: Get it, though I think so is it just like
Speaker 3: them going fuck you?
Speaker 1: They might be doing and I have a kind of
Speaker 1: dick move. Some stories, however, some stories say that you
Speaker 1: can call them by feeling deep sadness or somebody by
Speaker 1: saying their name col Slaw col S.
Speaker 3: Where the fuck is something their names the slot, it's
Speaker 3: like container and it's like a little lid with well.
Speaker 1: No when we when the fans will never hear. But
Speaker 1: when we talked about leprechauns and like the bad leprecauns
Speaker 1: stuff that we'll get back into eventually. The whole idea
Speaker 1: of just something small and creepy, and there is there
Speaker 1: is weird videos out there that's obviously faked, but there's
Speaker 1: weird views that kind of show some of them that
Speaker 1: claim to be real, but I highly doubt they are.
Speaker 1: We're like little creatures are like they filmed them going
Speaker 1: around the house on like a fucking a security camera
Speaker 1: or something, and it's like weird things like how like
Speaker 1: most leprechauns or fairies or some of the troll creatures
Speaker 1: right like the ones that in Irish folklore, they're like
Speaker 1: steal your shoes and then fix your shoes and shit
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 3: Shit's weird, like did not like a dirty shoe. He
Speaker 3: cleaned that ship.
Speaker 1: And they would clean shoes and ships like stuff like that.
Speaker 1: It is like creepy, but it's kind of funny, like
Speaker 1: a lot of it got.
Speaker 3: Their own little niches if you.
Speaker 1: Think about it, right, all all these tales are from
Speaker 1: ancient times and then they turn into fairy tales, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean.
Speaker 3: So like it's kind of it turned in from real
Speaker 3: stories that just became so told and so not heard
Speaker 3: of that it seems ridiculous. Now. Yeah, there's maybe like
Speaker 3: four thousand years ago Aliens did come to Earth and
Speaker 3: they go, you weren't ready. Well, yeah, they saw that
Speaker 3: ship and they gave all these fairies and toads and well,
Speaker 3: I would think, and they're like, all you guys back
Speaker 3: on the ship, they're not ready.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and mythological like unicorns, a lot of like and
Speaker 1: they just fucking like took it on a ship and
Speaker 1: was like, well they're not ready for this. But there's
Speaker 1: a lot of weird stuff to do with that in general. Anyways,
Speaker 1: about like creatures and stuff on this planet and is
Speaker 1: it just folklore or is it something that existed, Because
Speaker 1: if you have an Egyptian times and stuff, right like
Speaker 1: those there was giants, so it's said in the Bible.
Speaker 1: So if there is little fucking tiny little creatures.
Speaker 3: To I gut. It's when someone said a giant. I'm
Speaker 3: sure it was. Here's the mic. You always get so
Speaker 3: mad at me for that.
Speaker 1: That was whiskey.
Speaker 3: I I feel like back then everyone was short, right,
Speaker 3: so you see one oddly freakish six foot seven guy,
Speaker 3: this guy was a giant. No, that's when everyone else.
Speaker 1: Could that could be true also, but there was different
Speaker 1: variations that just get that point. It's like those statues
Speaker 1: in Europe, I mean Europe, those statues in Egypt that
Speaker 1: are supposed to be like sitting like on the things
Speaker 1: that are like fucking fifty feet tall, supposed to be
Speaker 1: the Egyptians carve them, uh to their size. They actually
Speaker 1: were that big because well even one when we're doing
Speaker 1: the strange ones, like when he was talking about it,
Speaker 1: he said, like there's depictions of them with like a
Speaker 1: line on their lap, and he's like, they were supposed
Speaker 1: to be depicted. Wan's a fucking smart dude. He does
Speaker 1: a lot of reaches and stuff, and he believes like
Speaker 1: this is like that it could be true. And then
Speaker 1: maybe they were giants and they had like they had
Speaker 1: full grown fucking lines on their lap.
Speaker 3: And they the Amazonians.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, that would be hot. I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 1: like they're like, oh man, big sexy women, yeah fuck yeah,
Speaker 1: like tall, not like big big. I'm not a fucking
Speaker 1: was gonna Once the Slaw have you in their sights.
Speaker 1: The only way to get rid of them is to
Speaker 1: offer them another person in your place. You might want me,
Speaker 1: but I got this like this, But he's real chill.
Speaker 1: He's a little skinny, but man, he'll make you laugh.
Speaker 1: You can just put him in a cage and like
Speaker 1: just whip himntil he tells you jokes and he'll be laughing.
Speaker 1: But what's his name? Here's his address over there. But
Speaker 1: they're easy to spot in their humanoid form. Uh, So
Speaker 1: this law looks like a mel nourished people with leathery wings.
Speaker 1: So it just looks like an Ethiopian kid with wings on.
Speaker 1: This is taking a dark whatever. Al right, so let's
Speaker 1: get in the next one. Those were the Slaws. Those
Speaker 1: are weird creatures. I'm sure a whole episode could be
Speaker 1: done about fucking half these fairies. There's a lot more
Speaker 1: detail a lot of them. But the Vicary, uh should
Speaker 1: come over here and pronounce these names. I couldn't vicarous Vicarus,
Speaker 1: vicarous vicarous gather outside the homes of dying people. Why
Speaker 1: is it they're always around dying people, Like it seems like.
Speaker 3: They got to be feeding off something like their soul energy,
Speaker 3: Like they got to be like yeah, like when they die,
Speaker 3: like that last remaining thing. That must be like, because
Speaker 3: if you go into a body of a perfectly healthy person,
Speaker 3: like it must be harder to gain access to their
Speaker 3: soul as it is a weak elderly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll get into those, don't worry. So the vicarios gather,
Speaker 1: I said, the homes of dying people, well, happily chattering
Speaker 1: to each other. Yeah, yeah, you see that bitch over there,
Speaker 1: she's good dies?
Speaker 3: Or are they fucking construction workers on an IBM? In
Speaker 3: the lunch there's sandwiches that are lunch. Her soul looks
Speaker 3: big and juicy.
Speaker 1: Man, I want that. Yeah, girlic are you gonna die yet? Okay?
Speaker 3: Wait? Wait?
Speaker 1: Are you to have another stroke? Having limp?
Speaker 3: And did you twist your ankle? Getting old? I can't tell.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious. These so they're eighteen inch hall so they're
Speaker 1: like they're pretty like they're like an action figure size.
Speaker 1: They're like like this big. It would be like it
Speaker 1: would actually be like.
Speaker 5: A g I.
Speaker 1: Joe action figure, Like the bigger ones would would be
Speaker 1: scary as well.
Speaker 3: There's a bunch of them.
Speaker 1: They can bite your fucking ankles.
Speaker 3: And shud you do sweet kicks though, like I'd be stomping.
Speaker 3: There's stump right now.
Speaker 1: Well, there's always that talk like would you rather go
Speaker 1: against a fucking giant, big dude, or would you rather
Speaker 1: go against like fifty fucking either fourth graders or midges?
Speaker 3: D you expect yourself into a bathroom stall and just
Speaker 3: I got that from somewhere I don't remember.
Speaker 1: So there are harbingers of doom, and they're instantly recognizable
Speaker 1: thanks to their vivid red color and bloodstained teeth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna say that's pretty that's pretty recognizable.
Speaker 1: But if you think about like Gamma Gamo the Toro,
Speaker 1: the guy that makes all those horror movies and stuff,
Speaker 1: I know horror movies pretty well, Yeah, gambled al Toro
Speaker 1: he uh he he's done a lot of weird movies.
Speaker 1: Some of them like he did that movie, what is
Speaker 1: it called, uh The Shape of Water? Yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 1: woman falls in love with the creature. So he does
Speaker 1: a lot of that stuff. He had a movie and
Speaker 1: I can see in my head the poster, but it
Speaker 1: was all about fairies and how these people go to
Speaker 1: this old house and then they end up unlocking stuff
Speaker 1: and all these fairies come up, but they're bad fairies.
Speaker 1: It was actually pretty good. I think it's like saying
Speaker 1: abu darkness signing, but like I actually liked that movie,
Speaker 1: Like and now he took the aspect of making fairies
Speaker 1: kind of scary and even if you look at like,
Speaker 1: I've joke into my girlfriend because around quarantine we should
Speaker 1: watch all the Harry Potters again. But like how I
Speaker 1: I love Harry Potter, Go fuck yourself. But there's the
Speaker 1: one thing where the guy thinks he's really good at
Speaker 1: being a fucking wizard and he unleashes all the fairies
Speaker 1: in the classroom. But they're all like bad fairies and
Speaker 1: they're fucking with people and picking them up by their
Speaker 1: fucking shirts and shit. So stuff like that that's pretty funny,
Speaker 1: like the fact that they could do damage if they
Speaker 1: really want to pick you, like fucking fifty them and
Speaker 1: pick you up and then drop you off a cliff
Speaker 1: or something like. They could be dangerous. According to folklore,
Speaker 1: the vicarous. They can be appeased, but it isn't easy.
Speaker 1: They require a shrine filled with a daily burnt offerings
Speaker 1: of flowers and spices to leave you alone. So it's like,
Speaker 1: here's my weed, buddy, browed you a bowl man? Come,
Speaker 1: come come over here. Yeah, and you put them in
Speaker 1: the pie and then you fucking eat them?
Speaker 3: Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Okay, uh you want to try this one? Up birds?
Speaker 1: I just want couldn't find the pronunciation either, birds ut
Speaker 1: birds up Birds are fairies that are believed.
Speaker 3: To be probably an Irish word.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is coming from all around different cultures, but
Speaker 1: a lot of fairy folklore comes from Ireland. I can't
Speaker 1: do an Irish accent, dude.
Speaker 3: We practice that for so long before THEE and we.
Speaker 1: Were both good at going to Ireland, you know, to
Speaker 1: old fairies and Ireland.
Speaker 3: Because then I look in like two sixth graders staring
Speaker 3: at a YouTube video like.
Speaker 1: Yeah Fromland, and we have Irish Irish fans, So what
Speaker 1: up brows? Like, what's going on?
Speaker 3: Accents like very easy to do after we have accents
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 1: I bet we do, but I don't notice it because
Speaker 1: we speak clear and concise. We don't talk like this,
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry, I'm not making for your accents.
Speaker 3: I don't believe we speak that clear and concise. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but that's a lot of people.
Speaker 1: So uh So, the upper the Upward fairies are believed
Speaker 1: to be revived spirits of babies who were pasturing harsh winters.
Speaker 1: That's really weird that so they're babies that die during
Speaker 1: a winter, Like that's fun.
Speaker 3: I guess, well, you don't have insulate, like you're probably
Speaker 3: living in huts and ship Like what year is this?
Speaker 1: Sorry? Way back inta be like you're what one hundred?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like people didn't have fucking nice insulated homes. Only
Speaker 3: the rich did. Everyone else was living like people are
Speaker 3: in Africa. Now, Yeah, I fucking said it. Nobody fucking
Speaker 3: cares about you. Keep wearing your face mask.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna wear my face.
Speaker 3: There's my fucking rant of the day. That's as far
Speaker 3: as I can think.
Speaker 1: And that shot my my eyes water.
Speaker 3: I love how you didn't even have chime in on
Speaker 3: that time.
Speaker 1: What I didn't hear what you said? I was fucking
Speaker 1: you didn't fuck you? Well, it's like.
Speaker 3: This is a weird.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if I ever said this before,
Speaker 1: it's kind of weird that, like my brother his grandma
Speaker 1: grew up in this house supposed to be haunted you
Speaker 1: with the harsh winters and stuff. And so what happened
Speaker 1: was a family was in there in the house in
Speaker 1: the nineteenth century before there was heat, and he went
Speaker 1: out to hunt during the winter just to try to
Speaker 1: find them food and like forest fire bullshit, right, and
Speaker 1: he left and the door opened, okay, and the whole,
Speaker 1: like the kids and the mom all froze to death.
Speaker 1: So I wasn't listening taking a shot when I did,
Speaker 1: so essentially the fucking that now when if you go
Speaker 1: in this house, I think it's sold now. But like
Speaker 1: the door would just slam all the time, especially during
Speaker 1: winter because the dad's spirit has seemed to stuck around.
Speaker 3: I say, it's a weak door and heavy wind. You're
Speaker 3: a weak door, Yes, I'm a door.
Speaker 1: They tend to haunt anyone who hangs around the sights
Speaker 1: of their demise, which is kind of weird. Someone like
Speaker 1: fucking trips in oh So, like I would think of a
Speaker 1: place where people have died or people that got fucked
Speaker 1: up or drowned or something. They just they seem to harbor.
Speaker 3: Like it's going to happen again, Like I'm waiting for
Speaker 3: another one so I can get the fresh soul.
Speaker 1: Misery is their mission. Upbirds are known to transform it too,
Speaker 1: large and terrifying owls that prey on the night travelers.
Speaker 1: All right, next one, Fairies aren't just menacing to humans.
Speaker 1: They can be a threat to their own kind. Consider
Speaker 1: the kelpies. I've definitely one thousand percent of kelpies. That's
Speaker 1: an Irish fairy, and they can be They differ in
Speaker 1: if they're good or they're bad. The kelpies sometimes are good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a kind of a kind of human eating faye. So
Speaker 1: you're right, they like to the humans a small, small, ugly.
Speaker 3: And bulbous themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah they're eating well yeah, yeah, so I think they're
Speaker 1: eating them their own kind and maybe other fairies also
Speaker 1: because they they're human ones. They're human being face, they're
Speaker 1: also being humans too, so they're eating I think whatever
Speaker 1: they come across that can maybe help their tummies not grumble.
Speaker 1: But but they're small, ugly and bulbous, so they look
Speaker 1: like light bulbs. That's what every Now I hear the bulbous,
Speaker 1: it means like your head looks like that dude from
Speaker 1: fucking how the Hills have eyes where it's just in
Speaker 1: the charities, half retarded.
Speaker 3: You won't remember that movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the remember remember the Cephalis people you talked
Speaker 1: about where they had big heads and ship like on the.
Speaker 3: Big head, I didn't think. I think.
Speaker 1: I think it means big head, like it probably looks
Speaker 1: like a light bulb.
Speaker 3: It probably doesn't mean that, not like that.
Speaker 1: You never heard the Cephalis heads or what they called
Speaker 1: their water, their brains filled water.
Speaker 3: You know, but maybe maybe your cheeks are also that.
Speaker 3: Maybe you just have a huge head.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Kealpies are known for their foul tempers. God damn
Speaker 1: fucking fairies. I can imagine what your voices be like.
Speaker 3: Voice gotta put Yeah, it's gotta be like what like
Speaker 3: am I doing? Like a six ft fairy or six in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you would hear. It's just like nothing.
Speaker 1: It's almost like the episode of The Simpsons where Bart's
Speaker 1: a fly and it's like but he's like, help me,
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking fly. That's so true because you'd be
Speaker 1: like fucking.
Speaker 3: Murdy pitch because you're barely hearing magin pits.
Speaker 1: Of ship, ye go hear it nonsense. They were once
Speaker 1: said to crop up everywhere in Scottish, so they're Scottish,
Speaker 1: so they would hide in Scottish locks, which is obviously
Speaker 1: boat fronts and stuff.
Speaker 3: I don't know why, I just envisioned like a key
Speaker 3: lock and the motherfuckers I can't wait till he put
Speaker 3: this key in this door, and then he's sitting there.
Speaker 1: Waiting for the slide tune. I thought about as soon
Speaker 1: as you said, that's fucked we have fucked up brains.
Speaker 1: And they say like the hey know, in the sea,
Speaker 1: the North Sea, so like they're almost like they're water fairies,
Speaker 1: I think more or less than they they're almost like
Speaker 1: a little weird mermaids saying but they they fell into
Speaker 1: decline thanks to their appetite for other fairies. So they're
Speaker 1: like hanging with you and like that was sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: hanging out with you and I'm getting hungry, and they
Speaker 1: look at you. I'm like I can go so and
Speaker 1: like they would be shitty because you know, you have
Speaker 1: maybe a coupla kan and he's shown with his buddy,
Speaker 1: I'm trying.
Speaker 3: A fairy dah.
Speaker 1: His name's Cooplacan and then he's with Billy bow salad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's hanging over your salad and he's like, you look good.
Speaker 1: You look good for me but also bad for me.
Speaker 1: But I want to eat you anyway.
Speaker 3: Can we do a p s A real quick?
Speaker 1: Sure, salad is not good for you. It's romain, lettuce
Speaker 1: and cheese and fucking dress.
Speaker 3: That dressing is horrible for you. It is so fucking
Speaker 3: my favorite salad. It's pretty good. It's not bad. I
Speaker 3: just hate when I'm gonna go al salad. Yeah, smile
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you are if.
Speaker 1: You do see your sold half. The dressing with chicken
Speaker 1: not so bad, of course, but that dressing is fucking off.
Speaker 1: That kale like those fucking hippies.
Speaker 3: Man, you're speaking of it. We just watched the Fu
Speaker 3: Once upon a Time in Hollywood again.
Speaker 1: I want to hear about that ship. That movie bores me. Uh,
Speaker 1: but they like the end that the old The entire film,
Speaker 1: you the only part of the entire film was the.
Speaker 3: But it's worth it. That's that's what Tarantino does.
Speaker 1: Quentin Tarantino disappointed me. Man, Reservoir Dogs. Amazing movie you have.
Speaker 1: His movies are great, fucking uh like everything fair.
Speaker 3: It was. It was a more boring one, but it
Speaker 3: was the first time.
Speaker 1: So the kelpies don't discriminate when it comes to slang.
Speaker 1: You can be you can be black, white, Hispanic, you
Speaker 1: can be anything. They don't. They don't discriminate. You can
Speaker 1: be fairy, you can be human, you can be a
Speaker 1: fucking leprechaun. Those motherfuckers probably picking up leprechauns and be like,
Speaker 1: you look a good snack. And I think rap crowns
Speaker 1: would be down for rape. Uh. There there are even
Speaker 1: folk folk tales about kelpies who take the appearance of
Speaker 1: sea horses. Oh yeah, I definitely heard about this and
Speaker 1: looking this up, and they like, well, take a thing
Speaker 1: of it, and they'll lure in young maidens who they
Speaker 1: obviously submerge on the water and devour them. A weird
Speaker 1: thing about kelpies is fucking weird. They'll pep look almost
Speaker 1: like mermaids. Will they can attract like females to them
Speaker 1: and lure them into the water. But also, uh, they
Speaker 1: can transform into hairy man the men with hairy chest,
Speaker 1: big brooding men. And yeah, they will essentially drag you
Speaker 1: back to the waters. Were just like you know, a
Speaker 1: woman's like going by the waterfront picking her flowers, and
Speaker 1: guest comes over, this hairy chest like he wants to
Speaker 1: come over, a little skinny dipping over here, and.
Speaker 3: He says, you're not coming here. There's your ankle and
Speaker 3: your face hits the fucking ground.
Speaker 1: Okay, the hill the fuck? Heal the fuck?
Speaker 3: I can't imagine.
Speaker 1: I know it is, trust me, look it up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know this is No, it's hell the fuck. It's
Speaker 1: the hill the folk, But how they pronounce the fuck?
Speaker 1: The hill? The f are Icelandic fairies that are somewhat neutral.
Speaker 1: Some people believe. They believe them to be beneficial. They
Speaker 1: build tiny wood homes to for fairies to live in.
Speaker 1: That is so cute. They're a little carpenter fairies. That's adorable.
Speaker 1: The hill the folk aren't typically malicious, but they do
Speaker 1: have a strict moral code. These human like creatures are
Speaker 1: known to attempt to seduce people. But I got a question,
Speaker 1: if you were going to be seduced, what is the
Speaker 1: best way of seducing you dick?
Speaker 3: You seducing is no just pulling down my pants, suck
Speaker 3: my dick, and then and then you seduced me into
Speaker 3: whatever else you wanted to do with me. I'll be blonde.
Speaker 3: That's a good start. I don't like that.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend said, I don't get it because you're blonde.
Speaker 3: No, because I am very attractive. A blonde hair.
Speaker 1: You like who you like. It doesn't really give a fuck.
Speaker 1: You like Billy now that he looks like a fucking
Speaker 1: in sync member.
Speaker 3: She doesn't, all right, So we try to fix it.
Speaker 3: By the way, you didn't even mention anything about that.
Speaker 3: I did not see it, Yeah, because it didn't fucking work.
Speaker 3: I sat with this ship in my head, put toner
Speaker 3: in it, and then I also use purple shampoo, and
Speaker 3: they said that's supposed to work. Pay to what paint?
Speaker 3: Oh Tom, just pain in your hair. It's good. It's blue? Now,
Speaker 3: am I pretty boy?
Speaker 1: All right? The brownies.
Speaker 3: Don't make me make a stupid, edible joke right now.
Speaker 3: Don't say that about Oh my god.
Speaker 1: The brownies are typically guardian fairies. Okay, so I can
Speaker 1: hear it out. Okay, so these fairies aren't that bad there.
Speaker 3: These are typically like, my god, what you're just talking
Speaker 3: about the brownies and then that bad.
Speaker 1: No, these fairies are not bad. They're typically guardian fairies
Speaker 1: who do chores and help around the house.
Speaker 3: I know, but you didn't. You didn't start that sentence off.
Speaker 1: Well, if anyone knows anything, m say it. Please don't
Speaker 1: what nationality you're maids?
Speaker 3: Hey, I can say that one. Because they're they're Mexicans,
Speaker 3: I'm allowed to talk about them.
Speaker 1: Well, well, that may sound sweet and endearing. Folk tales
Speaker 1: say the hideous they're hideous to look at. So it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's like, these brownies come to your house and she's like,
Speaker 1: I just want to clean. Can I clean your house?
Speaker 1: I am addicted to it? Can I just clean your bathroom?
Speaker 1: I got the squabby, I got the soap, and then
Speaker 1: they look fucking hideous.
Speaker 3: It's like, last hideous part? Where did you get the
Speaker 3: footage of my mom from.
Speaker 1: You come to the toilet? I put the toilet bowl
Speaker 1: cleaner in and clean.
Speaker 3: It twenty years ago. Fuck, I'm living flashbacks.
Speaker 1: So it's funny that like it. It's funny. That's like
Speaker 1: they're they're why they're in we're talking about dark fairies,
Speaker 1: but they're they're in the dark Fairy episode because they're
Speaker 1: really ugly, and it's like, no, they're trying to be helpful,
Speaker 1: but you don't even want to look at them. It's
Speaker 1: like no, no, just over there, clean the toilet and
Speaker 1: then put your head in it. Yeah, in some regions
Speaker 1: of Scotland. Yeah, I said, it's Ireland. Ireland and Scotland
Speaker 1: have fucking weird fairy fucking ship because they're always so
Speaker 1: fucking drunk. Think they ship and they think they station. Uh,
Speaker 1: they have no separate what they have, no separated toes
Speaker 1: or fingers, So it's like.
Speaker 3: Just like not not even are they even web or
Speaker 3: they just like one of those myths that you can't
Speaker 3: fucking move your fingers out of.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen the pants labyrinth? No fucking guy
Speaker 1: with his fucking eyes in his hands.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I have seen that.
Speaker 1: He's a fairy. What you think when you see It's
Speaker 1: a good movie, but you have to read the entire thing.
Speaker 1: And I think that movie is from Giambo del Toro too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's maybe that's why I know that movie from
Speaker 3: that movie is.
Speaker 1: Pretty good if you want to read fucking ship. Because
Speaker 1: she's in like World War one or two or some
Speaker 1: ship in rush or some ship and she ends up
Speaker 1: finding a labyrinth that she goes down into and then
Speaker 1: she discovers that guy and he's a fairy, and there's like,
Speaker 1: I can't see that creeps me out. So in other areas,
Speaker 1: other areas they have holes in their faces where their
Speaker 1: no should.
Speaker 3: Be, they have no.
Speaker 1: What's Baltimore, Yeah, yes, like Baltimore. Yes, Uh, we also
Speaker 1: have let's get into this, uh the calm, Yeah, the
Speaker 1: Cali cancer row. Fairies are all Fairies are always without clothes, sexy,
Speaker 1: they're always naked. No, it's like if you have a
Speaker 1: figure out this big, it's like one of those lighters.
Speaker 1: It's like you click closed. No, closed closed. No clothes
Speaker 1: have seen those stuff. They don't sell anymore, so they
Speaker 1: don't have closed. So if a fairies appearors on my
Speaker 1: little thing, on my little knee right there we're recording,
Speaker 1: do they have manscaping? She has some big bush going on.
Speaker 3: Fairies hip puberty, I would think.
Speaker 1: So they grow to full grown people. They're just different sizes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean yeah, I would think so. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would think. So maybe I don't get Harry, Well that
Speaker 1: might while that may make you uncomfortable, Uh no.
Speaker 3: What if we're talking about those seven foot dude ones.
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, yeah, it's some fairy.
Speaker 1: But he's got a dick hanging down to his kneecap,
Speaker 1: and it's like he's like at eye level. It's like
Speaker 1: he's like, hey, that's a good billy. It's like, can
Speaker 1: you get a fucking dick out of my face? The
Speaker 1: thing is there are small little creatures like just just
Speaker 1: just staying there. I'll take a little little snapchat. It's
Speaker 1: like Jennifer Aniston has a fairy. I'd be all about it.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you know what. I would be fair.
Speaker 1: I love Jennifer Anston so like years ago, I like
Speaker 1: her now than I did when she was younger. Yeah,
Speaker 1: milfy man, Well that might make you uncomfortable. The creep
Speaker 1: factor comes in their feet. They're usually shaped though, like
Speaker 1: like those of different animals, so they have like hoofs
Speaker 1: or talons like fucking like, it's that's creepy.
Speaker 4: So I look like a sexy girl and they have
Speaker 4: feet like centaurs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you do? You only get head from
Speaker 1: that because I am banging a half horse woman and
Speaker 1: looking at the back.
Speaker 3: I guess granted, you could bang a six inch tall
Speaker 3: lay and it's probably be great for both of you.
Speaker 1: It's like a finger puppet.
Speaker 3: It would be a great time.
Speaker 1: For both of you finger puppets. Yeah, I like that
Speaker 1: the Cala, the Cala cancer row. Our fairies are tending
Speaker 1: to be uh that they ride what they ride around
Speaker 1: on chickens and they're blind.
Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, the chicken where to go?
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 3: So that's a that's a lot of trust they got there.
Speaker 1: That's fucking weird that they're naked riding on chickens and
Speaker 1: their feet look fucking fucked up. So they typically are
Speaker 1: found in groups. Sometimes they even recruit out cast fairies
Speaker 1: to be their guides. So we know about the Cala
Speaker 1: cancer Row. But the fact that they like they're coming groups.
Speaker 1: So if you see a flock of fucking chickens, be careful.
Speaker 1: The might cum repew. Dude.
Speaker 3: There's so that happens all the time.
Speaker 1: You see flocks of chickens everybody, I.
Speaker 3: Don't see them, but they are in flocks when they're
Speaker 3: at farms and ship all right, then, all.
Speaker 1: Right, the Bend is a clan of Welsh fairies. Uh so,
Speaker 1: so they're British fairies. So I'm saying it's it's just
Speaker 1: funny how there's like there's not a Canadian fairy. There's
Speaker 1: not like some dude like I drink maple syrup, but
Speaker 1: I I abduct women. Like it's just like I abduct women.
Speaker 1: It's well, that's what a lot of the fairies seem
Speaker 1: to be doing, is abducting people or fucking taking people's soul,
Speaker 1: especially the dark side of fairies. That's what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like all the fairy tales that you think, the listeners
Speaker 1: that you guys think, you know, all that ship's fake,
Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't there.
Speaker 3: A part of me. Sorry, let's let's go back real quick.
Speaker 3: It wasn't fake. But this is what real.
Speaker 1: No, everything's real.
Speaker 3: Okay, So everything is everything.
Speaker 1: Everything is everything and nothing is nothing.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're not even doing a podcast right now. Tom,
Speaker 3: I'm consoling you.
Speaker 1: Can I say something that's funny?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: The myth, the myth about Peter Pan is that Peter
Speaker 1: Pan died and he's trying to killed children I think
Speaker 1: it is, and bring them back to he's like dead,
Speaker 1: but he died as a kid, so he's trying to
Speaker 1: kill other kids. It's like you said, A clan of
Speaker 1: Welsh fairies are notoriously baby nappers. They kidnap human babies
Speaker 1: and replace them with their own deformed offspring.
Speaker 3: Fun coming into your crib one night your baby's crying.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: They're known to do with the kid. They're known as
Speaker 1: crim bills. Crim bills, crim bills, crimbles. They're known as crimbles.
Speaker 1: That's like seeing There is a lot of fairy folklore
Speaker 1: where they fucking take babies and this is the creepiest
Speaker 1: one taking babies and all people. Yea, yeah, it seems
Speaker 1: like they that's what they do. Sometimes the bendith will
Speaker 1: return the baby after teaching it about music. Yo, you
Speaker 1: want to hear about n w A straight at Compton,
Speaker 1: crazy mother fucking name from a gang called you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why can't you say ice cube?
Speaker 1: I don't know ice cube.
Speaker 3: We're gonna get sued.
Speaker 1: For that, baby might uh, which is fights like we're
Speaker 1: gonna teach you about We're gon We're gonna teach you
Speaker 1: about slip.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 3: I don't think that's what teaching music means. No. I
Speaker 3: think he means here, learn how to play the piano.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's one of those uh it's a whatever
Speaker 1: those old ukulele things they have that's not like ule
Speaker 1: like that that remember the Disney movie Robin Hood were
Speaker 1: the fucking h that's the quiz. It a crow a chicken.
Speaker 1: He comes running, strums his little ukulele. Yeah yeah, three
Speaker 1: or four strings, it's nothing. I think it's three. So
Speaker 1: they would teach them, but often then not parents required
Speaker 1: the assistance of a witch to get their child back.
Speaker 3: To where are you finding these witches? I thought they
Speaker 3: were all burned now that this time error. This is
Speaker 3: back when the witches.
Speaker 1: They were fucking Kate never seen Sleepy Hollow. Actually a
Speaker 1: fucking great movie that treats me out when I was
Speaker 1: a kid. Gihnny Depp and shit. He goes to that
Speaker 1: one witch to like try to figure out shit, and
Speaker 1: she fucks with him and stuff. It's like witches are
Speaker 1: like they will be like if I do this, you
Speaker 1: have to eat my pussy or something, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Uh, when they aren't, when they aren't taking children, Uh,
Speaker 1: the Bendith get their kicks of riding horses and tangling
Speaker 1: their manes. What a bunch of fucking douchebags. It's like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna ride these horses, I guess we're gonna do.
Speaker 1: We're gonna tie your mane around your throats. Then when
Speaker 1: you run you choke yourself like that's like essentially what
Speaker 1: you're acting like like a bunch of douche bet. I
Speaker 1: think it's mean. Things they do is mean.
Speaker 3: Get off, enjoy that.
Speaker 1: Oh this is interesting, awesome the next one, because honestly,
Speaker 1: all these could be their own topics on their own end.
Speaker 1: But the mischievous Willow the whips Willow the whips haunts
Speaker 1: the marsh It's literally Willow the whips haunts the marshy
Speaker 1: grounds and loves practicing and playing practical jokes.
Speaker 3: Where are the marshy grounds?
Speaker 1: It's probably Ireland or Scotland, you know. However, their jokes
Speaker 1: consist of leading travelers astray with flickering lights.
Speaker 4: It's almost like a haunting though, to make them lost
Speaker 4: you were trying to get to the stack.
Speaker 1: No, but there is there's a lot of funny ship
Speaker 1: do with that, like the ghosts of Venture show. Stupid show.
Speaker 1: I hate Zack Baggins and ship, but like ghost shows
Speaker 1: and do that. Like I've seen footage like of weird
Speaker 1: Ship where like they see blinking lights. Who knows if
Speaker 1: it could be people out in the forest fucking with people,
Speaker 1: because just like around the area where the New Jersey
Speaker 1: devil is. People see flickering lights and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but that would trip you out. You see floating weird lights,
Speaker 1: and it's funny that most people think it's ghost something.
Speaker 1: Imagine if it was fairies like holding up a flashlight
Speaker 1: and be like, come, come towards, and come towards.
Speaker 3: What are they gonna do when you get there?
Speaker 1: However, their jokes consist of, yeah, sometimes leading people straight
Speaker 1: to their dooms in the box. So it's like they're
Speaker 1: like there's like in hypnotized falling these lights and they
Speaker 1: fall in the bog and it's like fuck and then
Speaker 1: you're like drowning and then all you know, these do
Speaker 1: they do? They just like jump on your head like
Speaker 1: a little boy trying to push. Yeah, yeah, there you go,
Speaker 1: like Mario trying to push those turtles to their doom.
Speaker 1: Is believe that they steer clear of the willow wisp
Speaker 1: foot pass is the best way to avoid them. How
Speaker 1: the fuck are these fairies that don't fly? Because how
Speaker 1: am I supposed to avoid their footsteps? If they're fucking fairies?
Speaker 3: Are you saying every fairy has wings? You just said
Speaker 3: like those dudes with hands his eyes was a fairy wings.
Speaker 3: He did the hiding Oh pardon me, sorry, I didn't
Speaker 3: realize the hiding wings are there. They're hiding, yeah, do you?
Speaker 1: And that's how you fly. Your body's bent like a
Speaker 1: fucking you. So it just like dragged your That's pretty funny.
Speaker 1: So like, although they're known to sometimes help people who
Speaker 1: are kind to them and offer them money, Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: pretty much a threatening creature that you shouldn't fuck with,
Speaker 1: A threatening but solidary creature.
Speaker 3: It doesn't sound like really they're doing much unless you
Speaker 3: get into your own predicament. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 3: It's like once you're drowning, they're like, hah, now's my
Speaker 3: time to shine the fish.
Speaker 1: You think it's the Vashan all right? The fishan or
Speaker 1: what do you gotta?
Speaker 3: What do you gotta? Like extra pronounces?
Speaker 1: I think it's so the Vashon fairies lives in the highlands,
Speaker 1: the Highland mountains, so Ireland or Scotland. So that's like highlands.
Speaker 3: Where's the Highland Mountains? I know which one that is?
Speaker 3: That's in Ireland, right, Jamie. The Highland Mountains are Inland mountains.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would think Scottish or Irish.
Speaker 3: It is in Ireland. It's uh fuck, I want to Actually,
Speaker 3: is not a show called Highland? Yeah, yeah, no Island. No,
Speaker 3: that's right, you're right, that's right.
Speaker 1: There's not fairies in Montana, right.
Speaker 3: Well, apparently there's everywhere across the island mountains. Know, she
Speaker 3: is right. I don't know why I thought Ireland.
Speaker 1: Would you call them the falcons? I would call them fackings,
Speaker 1: creepy and weird. Nature is due to its appearance. It
Speaker 1: it as it only has one of everything.
Speaker 3: Well, one eye one no.
Speaker 1: One ear, one arm, one leg, one toe.
Speaker 3: And one eye doing to give them the middle finger? Yeah, bit,
Speaker 3: what if it only has one?
Speaker 1: All these features are centered directly below the middle of
Speaker 1: the body, which is both hairy and fucking Oh my god.
Speaker 3: So what's on the top of the half of the body?
Speaker 1: Nothing ahead, So you have a head and then everything
Speaker 1: else is super hairy. But you just to have one
Speaker 1: stump leg with one arm sticking out and has one toe.
Speaker 1: I'm confused. I don't see pictures of yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: These creatures are said to be so hideous that they
Speaker 1: mirror the sight of them. That's funny that the mere
Speaker 1: sight of them can stop a person. It's hard ship.
Speaker 1: You're ugly and they die. Sh that's fucked.
Speaker 3: I have to do that sometimes us in stores, and
Speaker 3: I gotta put bags over my head because I feel
Speaker 3: real bad.
Speaker 1: Oh we're gonna be like Shilah buff I'm not famous anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah you are, Bud. All the features are Yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: you are. But the Vashon is sensitive about not having wings.
Speaker 1: So not all fairies have wings or the gift of flight.
Speaker 1: So it's like not go to heaven. Yeah, so it
Speaker 1: waves around a spike club at all living things that
Speaker 1: cross this past. So I'm not going to use the
Speaker 1: word retarded, but like it's like a it's essentially like
Speaker 1: a handicap fairy that only has one form of body
Speaker 1: where they're.
Speaker 3: Like, I'd just like to say a second ago, I
Speaker 3: just asked you, do not all fairies have wings?
Speaker 1: You say no, I know no, And I said that not.
Speaker 1: I said, you're right, then all fairies have wings, don't.
Speaker 1: It's one one stump leg thing and he has one
Speaker 1: arm that he swings this fucking like club. He must
Speaker 1: have one dick, only he has one of the so
Speaker 1: so he has one of everything, which means he might
Speaker 1: just have one dick with one.
Speaker 3: Ball like.
Speaker 1: Hitler. Hitler one Hitler had one testicle. Hitler has one testicle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should know that. Oh so these uh, some of
Speaker 1: these creatures live in caves underwater. So these are more
Speaker 1: of the water fairies, and they have control of the
Speaker 1: weather and the seas, so like a firestorm. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: actual movie. Yeah. Yeah, if you ever plan on ceiling
Speaker 1: on the high seas, make sure that you have what
Speaker 1: it takes to defeat the sea kelpies Ac'ording to folklore,
Speaker 1: captains have escaped escape disaster on the water simply with
Speaker 1: sharpened tongues.
Speaker 3: However, what the how do you get how do you
Speaker 3: escape water with a sharp tongue?
Speaker 1: No, no, it's not like you're looking your girls vagina.
Speaker 1: It's like he talked his way out of it. He's
Speaker 1: talking his way out of it. That's however, the blue
Speaker 1: Men of the the minch Or, like sea kelpies, can
Speaker 1: only be beaten with a rhyming, rhyming duo. Oh fuck yeah,
Speaker 1: I could do that, Tom Press, I will demolish all
Speaker 1: these kelpies.
Speaker 3: The rhyming duo. You need to have two of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a rhyming duet almost where you have to
Speaker 1: not even like that, where you have to almost rhyme.
Speaker 1: You have to battle wrap the kelpies to give them stuff.
Speaker 3: The same rhyme, need two people to come at them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So me and all these kelfies, you're welcome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: I will take gifts now in the form of cash.
Speaker 1: The funniest thing would be is like sailors, Like, okay,
Speaker 1: we came into the port of Branford and Cambridge. We're
Speaker 1: looking for two specific people. We we heard about these
Speaker 1: guys named Tom, Katt and Kirby. We need them to
Speaker 1: help defeat the kelpies. Why do you need that? They
Speaker 1: have to be able to lyrically rhyme and they go.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: So we're looking for them, and it's like me and
Speaker 1: you're at a bar.
Speaker 3: We stand up and it's fucking battling. It's like we're
Speaker 3: gonna lose. Tom, We're gonna lose.
Speaker 1: You're like looking for your right pirates and it's like,
Speaker 1: we need these two. It's like, are you sure you
Speaker 1: want those two? We're both drunk at a fucking bar,
Speaker 1: like I can steal fucking r do sing ding ling
Speaker 1: fing ming rap schmap Oh you still got it. So
Speaker 1: the worldwide stories of fairy changelings fairies steal children from
Speaker 1: cradles and leave a fairy or fay substitute. So we're
Speaker 1: gonna got to dive into more of why the fairies
Speaker 1: take kids, right, So supposedly am I right with this
Speaker 1: sole thing? And you might be supposedly stories of fairy
Speaker 1: or fay or pixies throughout supernatural means are capable of
Speaker 1: abducting babies from humans wins, replacing them with their own.
Speaker 1: So we've heard that before. That's the biggest thing. When
Speaker 1: it comes to weird, strange fairy folklore. It is usually
Speaker 1: a wise and old fairy who would who would proceed
Speaker 1: to eat and drink vigorously and maintain a surly silence.
Speaker 1: So they yeah, they replace They take human babies and
Speaker 1: they replace them with some fucking old man being like,
Speaker 1: where's my whiskey? Can you give me a cigar? Like
Speaker 1: it's like they're creepy men, yeah, like doblin. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: funny because they maintain their silence obviously, so nobody knows
Speaker 1: what's going on. With external advice, the parents are usually
Speaker 1: advised to rid themselves of changelings and restore their own
Speaker 1: babies from the fairies. The ruses carry out through unusual works.
Speaker 1: There are many variations of the story, but the brothers
Speaker 1: Grim summed it up in a concise form and main
Speaker 1: components of a typical change link story from the mid
Speaker 1: nineteenth century in Germany. So this is how the story goes.
Speaker 1: A mother had her child taken from the cradle by elves.
Speaker 1: In place, they laid a changeling with a thick head
Speaker 1: and staring eyes who would do nothing but eat and drink. Okay,
Speaker 1: so he's a drunken little baby. It'd be like, give
Speaker 1: me that breast milk? Oh? Is that breast milk?
Speaker 3: Up?
Speaker 1: Rumen it Like they're like fucking like they're literally drunken
Speaker 1: old Yeah, they're drunken old men that they replace and
Speaker 1: they have like fucked up pads and shit. In distress,
Speaker 1: she went to a neighbor and asked for advice. The
Speaker 1: neighbor told who told her to carry the change link
Speaker 1: into a kitchen, set it on the hearth. I don't
Speaker 1: I guess it would be like an oven or a stove,
Speaker 1: because I don't know fucking this terminology. Make a fire,
Speaker 1: boil water and two egg shells in the water with
Speaker 1: two eggshells, Uh, they should make the changeling laugh, give
Speaker 1: me some mar vodka. Yeah, and if it laughs, it
Speaker 1: will be over for him.
Speaker 3: So he dies.
Speaker 1: Well, they had to place him in boiling water, I guess,
Speaker 1: and they have to make him laugh while he's in
Speaker 1: the boiling water, and it might kill him.
Speaker 3: Maybe he can like hold his shields up, he holds
Speaker 3: his breath or something.
Speaker 1: And then all these stories are extremely weird, but they're funny, caring.
Speaker 1: It was like the extra But why does that? Is
Speaker 1: the thing. So the women did everything just the neighbors said.
Speaker 1: And when she placed the eggshells filled with water over
Speaker 1: the fire, the changeling said, now I am as old
Speaker 1: as western Wood, but never seen anyone cooking in the shell.
Speaker 1: So I don't know what the that means.
Speaker 3: But maybe western was a brother of his, and like
Speaker 3: he was like the elderest of the child. He's like,
Speaker 3: everyone fucking knows how old and grumpy western Wood is.
Speaker 1: And he began to laugh about it.
Speaker 3: You're gonna boil me, but they do, they do, but
Speaker 3: they do.
Speaker 1: So he's in it, and a brand of little elves
Speaker 1: suddenly appeared. They brought the Rightful Child and set it
Speaker 1: on to the hearth. The heath the hearth, we're instead
Speaker 1: of well, kind of fairies have do with alves. So
Speaker 1: elves were giving alves took away the baby and brought
Speaker 1: in the change lang, which is an old fairy. Yes,
Speaker 1: and the changeling, the change thing was taken away very quickly.
Speaker 1: So it's that's a very weird thing. So see in
Speaker 1: like that whole story is kind of weird to me.
Speaker 1: How they do take children and they were replace them
Speaker 1: with changeling and it's like, uh, a handicapped baby, you
Speaker 1: would think, you think, like say the take away from
Speaker 1: like just upon after birth and then you wake up
Speaker 1: and like your child looks like a little old man,
Speaker 1: like smoking a pipe and fucking drinking a whiskey sip,
Speaker 1: and like, my child has really matured over the give
Speaker 1: her the titty, right and he suck on the titty
Speaker 1: and he wants some milk and he's like, that's not whiskey.
Speaker 3: Well it depends what house hearing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're from Brantford, they might have whiskeys.
Speaker 3: Chance, that is fine.
Speaker 1: Well, the belief so let's getting a pixie ship, which
Speaker 1: is fun. Well, the belief in pixies was localized to Britain.
Speaker 1: They are similar creatures shut such as the Northern Fairies
Speaker 1: and the scan Scandinavian Elves. They also interact with humans,
Speaker 1: and they're also calmly mistaken for one another, so you
Speaker 1: might think one fairy is another fairy kind of thing,
Speaker 1: and then they might think that themselves. It's like, Yo,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hook up with a fucking fairy and then
Speaker 1: she's riding on top of him like you're a fucking pixie, man,
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to mix with you.
Speaker 3: You think maybe it's just that's just being super racist
Speaker 3: to the fairies. It's like, I think, like all white
Speaker 3: people look the same.
Speaker 1: Despite being very different. Pixies are much smaller than fairies
Speaker 1: with pointed ears.
Speaker 3: So even if they had their hat over their ears,
Speaker 3: what you know, is it that subtle?
Speaker 1: Well, if if you get into like stuff like that,
Speaker 1: like I would think Pixie would more be like tinker Bell.
Speaker 1: And uh, actually it wasn't a bad film. Chelsea loves them. Uh,
Speaker 1: the one with Angeline and Joe Lee where she's.
Speaker 3: The pixie the fairy. I don't know. I don't the
Speaker 3: last fairy movie I ever watched.
Speaker 1: Leficent lef sin No, never heard of it. She knows
Speaker 1: that's it. The lefs in the the latest movies and
Speaker 1: Blessed Maleficent is supposed to be the evil witch kind
Speaker 1: of but she's nice. I mean, Chelsea watched the new
Speaker 1: one and it literally has to do with fairies. How
Speaker 1: she was a good fairy and then people fucked with
Speaker 1: her and then and it's kind of the same thing
Speaker 1: as like you can't fuck with mother nature before mother
Speaker 1: Nature fucks back, right. So yeah, literally literally some of
Speaker 1: them have wings while others look like more like trolls
Speaker 1: and travel on horseback. That is weird, no, and more
Speaker 1: traveling on horseback? Why is that a thing where fairies
Speaker 1: are traveling on horseback?
Speaker 3: Maybe their little their little fairy wings or get tired
Speaker 3: like the otherwise.
Speaker 1: That choked the horse is like when you funk with
Speaker 1: their man. So we hope they die, That's what it is.
Speaker 3: Maybe those picks don't like each other and they're fucking
Speaker 3: with their cars, like they grant that horse on the
Speaker 3: wrong farm corner.
Speaker 1: That's so true.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: Some even prefer to shape shift and new hedgehogs and Dartmoor.
Speaker 1: The pixies are Pixies disguise themselves as bundles of rags.
Speaker 1: So it's like I just mopped up a bunch of
Speaker 1: my jism. Oh my god, is that a pixie? Like Jesus,
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of rags.
Speaker 3: I think there's a pixie in here.
Speaker 1: You you like just on a rag and you put
Speaker 1: it down and then starts poking up, moving and walking
Speaker 1: across the room like what the fuck? And then you
Speaker 1: pick it up children and know the pixies got the
Speaker 1: rag over its head, trying to carry like an ant
Speaker 1: would do to sugar, and like trying to pick it
Speaker 1: over his head and bring it to like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take this Jim and I'm gonna make a full grown me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: This is also creepy. Little children find these rags and
Speaker 1: play with them, becoming trapped by the pixies. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: why do why?
Speaker 3: They started to ask.
Speaker 1: Because they're like, oh, these kids are playing with the
Speaker 1: coum rag and then they fucking like pounce on them,
Speaker 1: and then.
Speaker 3: Little pixies are trapping twelve year old yes.
Speaker 1: Or like children so I think eight nine year olds.
Speaker 1: But that's weird to me. Why are fairy folklore the
Speaker 1: ones that we don't know about the more? Why does
Speaker 1: it all have to do with kids and them taking
Speaker 1: kids away.
Speaker 3: It might be it's got to be the weak soul thing.
Speaker 1: Pixies have been accused of learning children out of their caves,
Speaker 1: like like the get children to their caves with promises
Speaker 1: of treasure and keeping them for days. These guys are
Speaker 1: the they can come hang out. I'll cook you some
Speaker 1: good feat.
Speaker 3: I wonder, I wonder if that's where the guy got
Speaker 3: the idea for free candy on the side of his van.
Speaker 3: He was like an evolved pixie.
Speaker 1: Then when the Pixies get sick of the children and
Speaker 1: we're like, man, this baby's boring me. What about you, Johnny,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, fucking he's boring me.
Speaker 3: Not a fan of this kid.
Speaker 1: They knock them out at least they don't kill them magically,
Speaker 1: not physically, and they return them to the very spot
Speaker 1: they abduct them from. So it's like it almost sounds
Speaker 1: kind of like child abduction.
Speaker 3: It's like kind of little well, you can just take
Speaker 3: a child a child deduction, just taking it.
Speaker 1: I think anything else is children that has abduction cases.
Speaker 1: I seem like, what else would it be then sexual
Speaker 1: other than a mother being like, well I want to
Speaker 1: raise a baby. I don't have a baby because my
Speaker 1: womb is dormant, so I have to get a baby
Speaker 1: from the fairies.
Speaker 3: That exact thing, besides the fairy thing happened in my family.
Speaker 3: My aunt got super jealous couldn't have kids, and they
Speaker 3: broke into my cousin's house and planted coke on his
Speaker 3: dresser and called the cops so the kids would go
Speaker 3: into social services. And he did serious, and the kids
Speaker 3: would go into social services and then they could call
Speaker 3: and claim them.
Speaker 1: But I've had some fucked up stories, man, Like that's
Speaker 1: fucking stupid.
Speaker 3: My family's fucked up.
Speaker 1: The children wake up and they have no idea how
Speaker 1: much time has gone by or what has actually happened
Speaker 1: to them. But wouldn't the parents know.
Speaker 3: Kind of well, what if it was just a super
Speaker 3: accelerated time, like it was only gone for like half
Speaker 3: an hour, But to the pixies it was like weeks.
Speaker 1: The creepy harbadging human is weird, not always weired me out,
Speaker 1: Like you're replacing the fucking baby fairy the fairy, an
Speaker 1: old fairy with an old man with a new baby.
Speaker 3: It's gotta it's got to just be temporary. It's got
Speaker 3: to be for like half a night when you hope
Speaker 3: to God their parents are sleeping. They would have no
Speaker 3: get a little more pixie ship all. If a human
Speaker 3: traveler through Pixie territory falls to show respect, like they
Speaker 3: fail to show respect for the little people of the land,
Speaker 3: they're misled, or they call it hashtag pixelated on the
Speaker 3: moor sount As punishment, Pixies can confuse mortals so bad
Speaker 3: they never recover the use them, so they'll be lost.
Speaker 1: In a forest forever being Like the pixies confuse their
Speaker 1: heads and they're like, I was I think I was campfire.
Speaker 1: These lost humans are reduced to wandering aimlessly, uh, singing
Speaker 1: to themselves or speaking to un or speaking an unidentified language.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: These fairies who dwell in the Somerset wanted to change,
Speaker 1: wanted to change of scenery, so they attempt to move
Speaker 1: to Devon and they would extend their territory. So the
Speaker 1: Pixies were kind of like, I want to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we got land here, let's expand it. Let's do something different.
Speaker 1: He doesn't that sound familiar? Hashtag world War Yep. The
Speaker 1: Debion Pixies already had a steak in their land and
Speaker 1: they were not going.
Speaker 3: To share hashtag pixelated.
Speaker 1: They declared war on the Fae, which is kind of
Speaker 1: a gang sh I'm coming at you. They wing are
Speaker 1: their wings and like they can fly around, but they
Speaker 1: have guns.
Speaker 3: Maybe, but you said they can knock people out magically,
Speaker 3: so that could be a whole different kind of warfare.
Speaker 1: Do you smell cocaine?
Speaker 3: Sure does.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, the Debon Pixies already had a stick in the
Speaker 1: land and they're not going to share them, and they
Speaker 1: cleared war on the Fae and waste a bloody, violent
Speaker 1: battle in which the Pixies were victorious.
Speaker 3: That's dope, Pixies. The Pixies won, those motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: Pixies won the fairies.
Speaker 3: So what if that happened, Does that mean the fairies
Speaker 3: are the bitcher? They just retreated on the land.
Speaker 1: I think that there were so many Pixies at that
Speaker 1: Folkalore time. This is we're obviously.
Speaker 3: Talking when they were all real, sorry fake anymore.
Speaker 1: When they were real, they would have probably demped maybe
Speaker 1: in numbers. There are so many Pixies or like, bring
Speaker 1: them up from the underground listen barely The surviving fairies
Speaker 1: were booted out of Devon and sent back to where
Speaker 1: they came from is believed to this day the devon
Speaker 1: Devon pixies, only they're only there and no fairies are
Speaker 1: allowed within their borders. It's like it's Trump's trying to
Speaker 1: do to all immigrants. Yeah, don't come on our territory.
Speaker 1: The term pixelated pixelated describes the hazy, magical effect pixels
Speaker 1: we have on humans. The feeling is described as intense intoxication.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I fell intense intoxication before.
Speaker 1: We do it every time in this podcast.
Speaker 3: I do it six days plus the podcast a week.
Speaker 1: We're here to sponsor belief, sponsor that we need. Billy
Speaker 1: is intoxicated at this moment. We need him to not
Speaker 1: drinks no human being. His hair is now the color
Speaker 1: of amber fire, and that's because of beer.
Speaker 3: Beer.
Speaker 1: Did this he put his hair inside Saints Vagina?
Speaker 3: Nope, just drinking beer. Could you imagine that something fucked
Speaker 3: up your body so bad your hair color changed?
Speaker 1: I thought you dumped your ship and bleach, Like when
Speaker 1: you say you breach. I literally thought you bleached your hair.
Speaker 3: You know how bad that would hurt. Eminem did not
Speaker 3: dunk his hair in blie.
Speaker 1: Fucking dude?
Speaker 5: Did it?
Speaker 1: Stay Stay was sposed to have bleached his hair in
Speaker 1: the nineties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you grabbed the actual bleach, but you put.
Speaker 1: It in the little Even though I am a millennial.
Speaker 3: Nobody dunked their head in toilets, tom No or bath tubs.
Speaker 3: That didn't happen.
Speaker 1: No, I know I know someone specifically who actually did
Speaker 1: bleach their hair with bleach.
Speaker 3: I understand. You take bleach, you put it in a container,
Speaker 3: and you slowly rub it on your hair. Nobody's nobody's
Speaker 3: dumping seventeen gallons of bleach in.
Speaker 1: A battle, all right, So the feeling, that's crazy. So honestly,
Speaker 1: if a fairy is going to make me feel drunk
Speaker 1: without me paying for it, go ahead. I want to
Speaker 1: feel that feeling. They will make you.
Speaker 3: Sure, well, what if they make you too drunk, like
Speaker 3: the time, like you drink that and you're like, but decision.
Speaker 1: Yeah I know that was so bad. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want to wear the poem where I'm throwing up. But
Speaker 1: the the victims of this uh so called drunken intoxication,
Speaker 1: the victim's behavior became became a erratic. They may see
Speaker 1: mentally unbalanced, as if they were drunk, but guess what
Speaker 1: they're not. But we are on this podcast now considering
Speaker 1: Pixies have been known to take human mates that are
Speaker 1: grown men and women and they they won it following
Speaker 1: the pixies now concerned. Pixies have been known to take
Speaker 1: human mates and grown men and women to follow the
Speaker 1: call of the Pixies and vanish forever. It is safe
Speaker 1: to say that pixelation may be responsible for those whole
Speaker 1: those coupling of people disappearing in general might be with them.
Speaker 1: But pixie mythology transforms a bit of Christian presence moved
Speaker 1: into Britain. These former pagan spirits we're talking about paganism
Speaker 1: a lot on this podcast was given a creepy origin
Speaker 1: as souls of children that were not baptized before they died.
Speaker 1: So what these stories may come from is trolton that
Speaker 1: may have not been baptized. So the Christians, the Christians,
Speaker 1: the fairies are taking them like in like, well they're
Speaker 1: not baptized. These t come back with water guns. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: and this spirits were would be transformed a little pixies
Speaker 1: after personal belongings replaced in clay funeral plots and they
Speaker 1: remain on earth causing mischief instead of going to heaven
Speaker 1: and that's where reacted on the Pixies and stuff and
Speaker 1: the fairies is that this may have been just a
Speaker 1: warning and like Celtic and cultural phenomenon is like if
Speaker 1: you don't do this right, and I feel like that's
Speaker 1: what fairy tales are, is if you don't do something right,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be some sort of yeah, well you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm drunk.
Speaker 3: It's time for.
Speaker 1: It's fun factor the day.
Speaker 3: Okay, guys, So like, there's only so much fun facts
Speaker 3: that you can come up with when that you know
Speaker 3: they're true. I do do my best to try to
Speaker 3: fact check it, but realistically, like if you're not actually
Speaker 3: in the field, there's a good chance that you just
Speaker 3: don't know. Ye So yeah, all back up a bit.
Speaker 3: So I did look this up and it looked to
Speaker 3: be real. But granted I don't work for the FDA.
Speaker 3: You want to hear something super fucking disgusting. Oh, by
Speaker 3: the way, two parter right after this one, I got
Speaker 3: an awesome thing for you. Okay, This one, anyways, is
Speaker 3: the FDA allows. Granted I don't work for them, can't
Speaker 3: say it, but it seemed to be real. The FDA
Speaker 3: allows an average of one rodent hair per one hundred
Speaker 3: grams of peanut butter manufactured.
Speaker 1: I love peanut butter.
Speaker 3: So if you're like mixing in like a hundred grams
Speaker 3: is nothing, so you can get one jar. How much
Speaker 3: is the jar? What like five hundred, five hundred milligrams?
Speaker 3: I would think, sorry, five grams? Yeah, so you can
Speaker 3: get a jar with like ten thousands, so you're gonna
Speaker 3: have like one hundred fucking rodent hairs in there. Realistically
Speaker 3: you could. But anyways, again not fact checks, but you saying, well,
Speaker 3: let me say what's disgusting?
Speaker 1: Disgusting? Yes, I got no, I got one more strange
Speaker 1: brewte So we need drunken topics.
Speaker 3: And I always thought this was common knowledge, but this
Speaker 3: has been now six people I've shown this trick to
Speaker 3: that said I saved.
Speaker 1: Their life and they never heard of it. So I
Speaker 1: feel like it's it needs to be common, do you know?
Speaker 3: Do you I granted, once you get to that age,
Speaker 3: this doesn't happen as often because you know how much
Speaker 3: you can handle a drink. So young people, sometimes you
Speaker 3: get too drunk and you know that moment where you're
Speaker 3: spinning out and all you want to do is go
Speaker 3: to bed, but you can't help a feeling like you're
Speaker 3: gonna pukeh ma, do you know how to get rid
Speaker 3: of that? Instantly lie on your back and put one
Speaker 3: foot flat on the ground. Goes away, instantly gone, and
Speaker 3: you can go to bed. It's gone. You're sober like
Speaker 3: when you when you do it. I've been doing it
Speaker 3: for years and I've shown so many other people when
Speaker 3: the're drunk and I'm like, just grab your foot and
Speaker 3: I'm like, put it on the ground. I've shown my
Speaker 3: girlfriend that I'm like, grab your foot, put it on
Speaker 3: the ground, and like every single person goes Holy ship, Like,
Speaker 3: I feel fucking great. It's amazing because I want you
Speaker 3: to do this for me. Centers your body and it's
Speaker 3: fucking fantastic. Everyone needs to know that.
Speaker 1: Centers your equilibrium, that that's allowed your equilibrium to be
Speaker 1: like status and it makes.
Speaker 4: You not spinny and makes you not want to sell
Speaker 4: your pure fucking rain. Review us, motherfuckers.
Speaker 3: If you like this ship, I swear to God, I
Speaker 3: just gave you the most helpful tip in the world.
Speaker 3: If you don't read review us.
Speaker 1: Through podcast at gmail dot com, that's.
Speaker 3: Well, he's mad because it's run by crazy people. I
Speaker 3: want you to have these these crazy?
Speaker 1: Is this force of crazy which is operating behind the
Speaker 1: scenes where no one season, anyone mentions that you, old man,
Speaker 1: they don't exist.
Speaker 5: I'm an obsessed with mind. I'll mean my thoughts, questioning time,
Speaker 5: believe by.
Speaker 3: Not like the rest of my kind.
Speaker 1: I don't bear a cup. I've been the rest of
Speaker 1: your crime. I'm sure, dear drops, no exit up crimes.
Speaker 1: You're all insects cut in the web of lies.
Speaker 5: Women in a thin dress, nobody heat dresses broad By,
Speaker 5: You're sent to guys were animals and invention. Why you
Speaker 5: think sexual tension is a high for us? Why we
Speaker 5: try a bunch of lies? Fuck that won't die for us?
Speaker 5: Will we die for them?
Speaker 1: Either?
Speaker 5: Lie by the lebia, things rise up like Eastern tries
Speaker 5: being by the bad guys again, I'll believe, I'll die.
Speaker 1: You've reached our time.
Speaker 5: I'm the mad scientist in the lab with the rhymes.
Speaker 1: When here's the time again?
Speaker 5: Now lets a go, now on that show, hold on,
Speaker 5: now be back for you as world least year black
Speaker 5: and I close my eyes and imagine you on a suicide.
Speaker 5: Now take it back at you. Why can't you'll look
Speaker 5: for the yatis.
Speaker 3: You don't have that in you.
Speaker 5: I look from a point of view that's different. I
Speaker 5: can destroy you with rap, rhythm, fucking boards and blue
Speaker 5: crackslinging all about emotion and want.
Speaker 1: That's women, woman.
Speaker 5: Nice are put my cock laughing as the trash women
Speaker 5: cross cooling looking tidy, red strom a block for in
Speaker 5: the fashion image.
Speaker 1: I have all knowing, no fostor vision from God. You
Speaker 1: ass were getting it brought your bad decision.
Speaker 3: Maybe you won't go to hell if you're changing act difference.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty mad.
Speaker 5: This isn't the place I thought I choose to come.
Speaker 5: A monster running from who will come?
Speaker 1: Like my father?
Speaker 5: Want nothing to do with my mom, But it's at home.
Speaker 5: You wonder why I let's to be alone. You're not
Speaker 5: smart enough to see what I know. So your soul
Speaker 5: the fucking dice. Slow now I elasic, go now, I
Speaker 5: that's you. Now hold on, I'm now getting back for you.
Speaker 5: That's well, they shall blackest. I close my eyes and
Speaker 5: imagine you want a suicide. Now take it back at you?
Speaker 5: Why can't you lose it? Yeah you're not mad at you? Well,
Speaker 5: there's free Masons that will even Satan. They're Shuman taking
Speaker 5: the underground base is an atent.
Speaker 3: Look around a we're facing.
Speaker 5: As a human race show know what I do to
Speaker 5: escape this Illusionize pain as virtual reality once you think
Speaker 5: the purpose.
Speaker 1: Working for a salary.
Speaker 5: I'm researching the work God Baluster Crownley by saying, but
Speaker 5: how these saying this composition of power rape bises should
Speaker 5: ryan The prison hour rules a huge joke and they
Speaker 5: missed this through hope.
Speaker 3: If you're children too, the.
Speaker 1: Demons down below, do some research.
Speaker 5: Now you know the worlds invested with evil and they
Speaker 5: were lying on the tellerchance on the people.
Speaker 3: So we stay stay asleep. But this gravious demon is
Speaker 3: no God saving me.
Speaker 5: Noah, Ell that's to go, No that should know? Hold
Speaker 5: on now being back for you, this world deaf show blackest.
Speaker 5: I close my eyes and imagine you want a suicide note.
Speaker 5: Take it back at you?
Speaker 1: Why can't you lose it?
Speaker 5: Yeah? It soon. I'm not mad at you.
Speaker 3: These are the people I'm sending this money that doesn't
Speaker 3: exist in charge.
Speaker 1: Is interesting on it world, but it is crazy, and
Speaker 1: then waste that for it and the.
Speaker 3: World isn't crazy.
Speaker 1: Dogcat