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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: This is Why We're going to Hell, our special normally

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Patreon exclusive podcast where we take our guests from the

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show and ask them all the reasons why they might

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be going to Hell. Are a little confessional, but because

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we had such a good time with Zach, we wanted

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to release this publicly as a sample as a holiday gift.

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So enjoy, and if you want to see more of

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this or want to support the show, go to Good

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Morning from Hell dot com and you can watch all

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the episodes of Why We're Going to Hell. Welcome to

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Why We're Going to Hell. I'm Krista Maris with Blaine Gibson,

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and we're joined by Zach Aner.

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Speaker 1: We're joined together.

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Speaker 3: We have to like shake off the vibes from the

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recording with depression.

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Speaker 2: It's really weird to try and be funny and energetic

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and entertaining while also being depressed.

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Speaker 3: And it's also crazy too because Austin just got hit

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with kind of a cold front, so the weather's like

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perfect for that recording.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's ninety degrees and sunny here in.

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Speaker 3: Los Angeles, so good for you.

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Speaker 1: That's the best acting I've ever done.

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Speaker 3: It is funny having Zach come on to play the

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most like sad down in the dumbs character because I

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feel like I relate so much like joy and optimism

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from you. So like the total antithesis is Zach.

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Speaker 4: As somebody who has you know, experienced seasonal depression. And

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that's part of why I got out of Buffalo, because

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you know it is mostly that season.

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Speaker 1: Huh.

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Speaker 4: It was just so fun to put a character to

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my own.

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Speaker 5: Feelings of worthlessness or like the hopelessness. And I hope

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that people actually going through the depression could relate to

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what that feels like, because you know, it's a bitch man,

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no need to make.

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Speaker 1: Light of that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but we did.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's kind of the whole point, I guess.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but like, have you guys experienced seasonal depression?

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Speaker 3: I get it terribly. And I remember, you know, when

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Rooster Teeth shut down, I was talking about, well, like

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we could move, you know, like we don't have to

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stay in Austin. So I was talking with my partner Kristen, like,

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you know, maybe we go to like someplace else, like

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I've always liked Seattle. She'd be like, you would be

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unfucking bearable because I get a hit bad and that's

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in Austin, and it's like sunny ten months out of

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the year here.

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Speaker 4: You know, if it's a rainy day, my whole outlook

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on life will change. Like I'll start like like my

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my my feelings about my finances.

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Speaker 1: I'll feel poor on rainy days where it's like on

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sunny days, I'll be like I gotta go buy something.

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Speaker 4: Like We're around doing fine, I'm proud of what I've done,

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and then it.

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Speaker 1: Just gets cloudy. It's like I've wasted my life.

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Speaker 2: I can't even afford an umbrella.

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Speaker 3: Let it rain on me.

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Speaker 2: Obout you, Chris, not as much. I mean, I think

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I don't think you ever get depressed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, always happy. I can't always happy, Chris.

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Speaker 2: I can get depressed. I'll prove it to you next

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time we're hanging out, I'm gonna be miserable.

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Speaker 3: Chris rarely does get sad, and he does. If he does,

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then he does a great job at concealing it because

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I think, even like going back to Rooster shutting down,

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I remember I was so down to the dumps, and

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then I talked to Chris. In my perspective completely flick.

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You were having a fine day and I.

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Speaker 1: Was like you're like, oh my gosh, I can't wait

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for what's next.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, truly, I was like, what the fuck?

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Speaker 2: Well, you were getting a massage, going to the premise

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of why we're going to hell? What's the worst thing

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you ever skipped out on or did because of seasonal

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depression or any or just depression, Like, what's the worst

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thing you did because you were just like not feeling

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up for it? I know this.

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Speaker 1: I didn't go to a wedding that I said I

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would go to bump as I was depressed.

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Speaker 2: Were you in the wedding?

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Speaker 4: No, thankfully, so they were like, but I just was like.

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Speaker 6: I had I had the the save the date on

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my fridge, and I was like, I literally had been

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depressed for like weeks.

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Speaker 1: And then I looked.

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Speaker 4: I was like, shit, I was supposed to be there

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to Oh my god, that's.

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Speaker 1: Probably the worst one.

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Speaker 4: And then also just like not showing up for friends,

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but because I feel like, oh, they don't really need me.

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Speaker 1: What's the worst thing you've ever done?

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Speaker 4: Probably like, oh, I went I went to the I

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went to an amusement park.

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Speaker 3: Chris rarely says no to a social event. I think

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you're pretty down for everything. Yeah, I'd be surprised to

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hear a story of you skipping out.

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Speaker 2: Skip out on a band. I wanted to go see

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another punk band. I was going to go see Afi yesterday.

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But well, this is timing, giving context. I'd been hosting

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our editor Nick and his wife Shelby for a week

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there in town for a wedding. I was just like, oh, man, like,

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you know, it's like you're you're hosting, You're going out

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a lot, you know, we're doing general stuff. And I

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was like, man, I just kind of need to I

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need a date to myself. I just need to be inside.

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So it was like the reverse, So.

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Speaker 4: Is that were you supposed to go with friends or

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do you feel like the band themselves?

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Speaker 1: No, I hosed you.

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Speaker 4: They saw one empty seed and they're like, Chris said

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he was gonna be here.

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Speaker 2: Well I hadn't got a ticket, but I wanted to,

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and I wanted.

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Speaker 1: But this is in real depression. You were maybe thinking.

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Speaker 4: About going to a concert and then you decided to

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like to have the night off.

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Speaker 1: That's not depression, Chris.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I can tell you a sin I've done

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around other people who were in bad moods, suffering from

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seasonal depression.

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Speaker 3: All right, let's hear it.

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Speaker 2: I remember one time I was traveling with someone and

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they were in a bad mood. I think it actually

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might have been in No, No, it was. It was

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in like Denver or something, and they were in a

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really bad mood. And we were at like some sort

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of museum or something, and I kept doing impersonations of

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celebrities or there was one in particular. I just kept

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doing it. I was doing a bit, and I just

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I know that I was annoying them and making it worse,

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but it was making me. It's like I was, I

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was trying to make they were in a bad mood

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and and not.

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Speaker 1: Was killing your vibe.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was like, I have to counter this

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by making myself laugh, so.

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Speaker 1: And I would.

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Speaker 2: So I was going around, gosh, what what character was

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I doing? Anyway, I was annoying the crap out of

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them and making them more depressed, but I was able

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to like make myself happier.

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Speaker 3: Oh great, at their expense, just digging them further.

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Speaker 2: So you can r.

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Speaker 1: That is a jam like this. I know this podcast

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is supposed to be just fun.

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Speaker 4: That sounds generally like very shitty grit well, I would

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take a bit like the way that you phrased it

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of at least at least I.

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Speaker 2: Was doing well, well, I was like, I'll I'll elaborate, right, So,

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you know, on vacation, you know, have it doing things

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that you know paid money for. You do all these things,

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and then if someone was in a bad you know,

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depressed or in a bad mood, I I, you know,

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you try cheering up. And then when that wasn't working,

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I was like, I have to I had to do

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something otherwise the just be going through a museum in silence,

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you know, So I just started talking.

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Speaker 4: But like I was not supposed to be, like we

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need to when somebody needs to be doing bits for

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this PICASO.

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Speaker 2: Well, I wasn't. I wasn't doing it to make them

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more sad or depressed. I was trying to just be

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like light in the mood or you know. And it's

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just you're supposed to take.

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Speaker 3: In the art that also kills the mood. Sometimes when

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you try to overcompensate for the bad mood, then you

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just make oh yeah, because I've been around you when

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I've not been in a great mood, I'd say, oh,

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the two of us you're the one that's a little

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bit more like happy, go lucky. And so when I'm

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feeling blue and Chris is going, I'm just kill you.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't work when you're trying to cheer people up

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by doing bits that they want. Yeah, especially if it

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wasn't even good impersonations of whatever celebrity I was doing.

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Speaker 1: What was it though? I want to know what it was.

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Speaker 2: I think I recorded a bunch of videos because I

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was just like, so so he shown a phone time

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filming them. I was like filming myself giving commentary on

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the museum or something. Oh look, y'all, do you tell me?

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You go? Blaine.

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Speaker 3: Most of my depressive episodes have taken place around binging

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television shows. I get really into the escapism of it all.

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So then when I like kind of pull back and

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I'm in reality, I'm super bummed. And I remember Game

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of Thrones I binged like five or six seasons.

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Speaker 1: I went out.

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Speaker 3: The only time I went out was to go to

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Best Buy to buy the Blu ray sets so that

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I could just sit there. And I remember my ass

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atropheed because I wasn't getting out and moving around and

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using my body, and so that happened, and then, uh,

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I remember when Avan Gellian came to Netflix. This wasn't

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seasonal DEPRESSI because it was during this but I binge it

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and that's a horribly depressing show. And I remember thinking

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like I need to go out and do something and

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like be out in nature. So I went to a

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bodega that's near my house and I looked on the

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TV and they're playing fucking Evangelion and I was like,

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I can't skape. This shit is so bad.

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Speaker 4: Did you when you are depressed? When do you does

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your workout schedule change or do you still work out?

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Speaker 3: Like they go hand in hand where I will talk

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myself out of exercising and then when I don't exercise,

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I feel even worse about myself. And yeah, if I've

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gone like a week or two without exercise, I am

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terrible to be around.

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Speaker 1: I don't see.

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Speaker 4: That's why I can't start exercising, because I know if

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I start depending on it, it'll become a crutch.

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Speaker 3: But we're out Wednesdays though else it's my favorite, I know,

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but we didn't actually work out.

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Speaker 2: The biggest people I'm familiar to, Zach has a workout

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show on his YouTube channel where he works, does weird

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workouts and gives inspirational advice. But it's very funny. You

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should go watch it. But the biggest workout to people

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who are filming it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because they have to make sure that I don't

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hurt myself and that's a full time job for two people.

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Speaker 2: Or if you're like, you know, in a canoe and

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you fall out, then we got to get you back

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in the canoe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: We have a mutual friend, Josh Flanagan, who's on the

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show recently. You guys have history, like you guys went

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to college with Josh and stuff. But I remember you

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guys had a fitness show at Rooster Teeth and the

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fitness show just.

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Speaker 4: Became about how we weren't doing our workouts.

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Speaker 1: Right, buff buddies.

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Speaker 3: We went to a five k race and I remember

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I purposely followed Josh within ten feet just so that

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I could beat him at the finish line for the

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five k, And it was efforts. I was just like

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jogging behind him and doing stupid shit and then we

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see the stretch and then I just fucking sprinted. He

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was not happy about it.

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Speaker 2: I figured out what it was.

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Speaker 3: Who's who who the impersonation.

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Speaker 2: Was every exhibit I would go that belongs in a museum.

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Speaker 7: Fucking annoying, maybe funny once, not every exhibit.

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Speaker 1: Fifteen times.

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Speaker 3: That a camping trip I went on, we went in

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it was like November December to the Rocky Mountains. It

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was like me and a group of friends to all

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these different national parks. And I had one friend who

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clearly hated hiking, and they had romanticize the trip to

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be this big thing. And they were also going through

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a breakup. So when we're out hiking, I'm having a

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great time and they're like one hundred yards behind us,

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and I was just like, fucking leave him, Just like, guy,

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I hope you get attacked by a bear because you're

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b on the mood.

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Speaker 4: After a breakup, I went on this trip that I

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thought was going to be like this, this great trip

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to Colorado by myself. Oh, and I was like, you

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remember that I went to Colorado by myself. And I

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was like this will feel good, This will make me

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feel great, yeah, you know, just to like realize that

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I can still experience things. And I had been wanting

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to take a trip from myself the longest time. I

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was like, this will be wonderful. And then literally an

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hour after I got there, I got a weed chocolate

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bar and I didn't know that you weren't supposed to

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eat the whole thing.

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Speaker 8: Whoa oh it was like it was and then all

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of the emotions of the breakup hit me as the

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like the full try. So it was like I couldn't

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escape time and just was like I remember like sobbing

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to Taylor Swift's nineteen.

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Speaker 4: Eighty I know it just like like realizing, like and

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I couldn't like stretched everything out to like feel twenty

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times as long.

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Speaker 1: It was the worst.

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Speaker 3: There's a prisoner of time.

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Speaker 2: That you that, Zach, and you also didn't even you

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never got high.

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Speaker 1: No, No, I was like, this will be not it

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would be great. I'll have like a little little buzz.

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Speaker 4: But like what happened though, is I knew that I

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wasn't supposed to eat as much of the chocolate.

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Speaker 1: But then I got I took out the chocolate bar

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and it was melky.

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Speaker 4: So it was.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I just gotta get

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I couldn't chocolate on.

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Speaker 8: My hands or no, and like someone went to this

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existential crisis.

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Speaker 1: Where where it was just it was the worst.

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Speaker 2: You were like, I can't let this go to wait, it's.

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Speaker 3: No Oh you know roughly how much it was?

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Speaker 1: I bet you it was least one hundred milligrams.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh dude, that changed your fucking DNA. Dude,

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that's like you didn't walk away from that the same.

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Speaker 4: I did not walk away from it, because you don't.

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But so what's funny is like I it hit me

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as I was like out eating a pizza.

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Speaker 1: Somewhere, and then I had to get back.

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Speaker 4: To the hotel, and I have no idea how to

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like function, and I could I could tell that people

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could tell that I was not right because the only

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thing I remember from trying to get back from to

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the hotel is that a guy stopped me and said,

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I don't know where you're going, but I hope to

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meet you there.

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Speaker 2: What did that make you think? In the moment, like

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what were I.

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Speaker 4: Was like, oh my god, this guy knows I'm Maya's

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Shiit like it's it's just the worst.

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Speaker 3: Oh fucking fucking fuck.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I have a terrible sense of direction, Like.

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Speaker 1: Zach, you, mine is the worse. Yours is worse.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, how did you are you sure you

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made it back?

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Speaker 1: Are you sure you didn't imagine a hotel?

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Speaker 3: What if you're still there right now, still in that

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that that like you've lived a life and it's still

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going on right now.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, just coming down just now.

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Speaker 3: Your marriage wasn't real. It's all of us. That dog's

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not real.

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Speaker 4: But I made it back to the hotel, and I

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was just sobbing the whole.

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Speaker 2: Time and crying on the way to the hotel.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't crying on the way to the hotel. I

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know I was still high the next morning because I

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was crying at the breakfast with that.

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Speaker 3: You're right, there's some person that lives in Colorado and

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you're like a cryptid to them like that. He's just

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the moaning man.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: You were.

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Speaker 2: You were the manifest of seasonal suppression then, because people

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were on there like on vacation, starting their day. And

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then there's this guy.

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Speaker 1: Crying at the buffet.

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Speaker 2: What do you think the.

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Speaker 1: Chef thought it was? It was the food that bad?

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Speaker 2: Fuck?

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Speaker 4: I mean also maybe he just saw me struggling with

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the buffet and he's like, this guy's really taking it

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hard that he's having trouble playing these like berries or

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something like like, because the guy did come up and

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eventually like help me with the buffet, but I was

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still quietly weeping to myself.

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Speaker 2: You need to eat potatoes or eggs or welp U turn.

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It's funny too, Zach, that that was in Denver, Colorado,

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because their museums are great. That's the museum I was

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at when I was really Yes, that's how I was.

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Speaker 1: Able to figure out the clip I had to.

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Speaker 2: I knew it was in Denver, so I went to

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I went to the my trips and went to Denver,

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and that's where I was like looking through my clips

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of me at the museum.

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Speaker 3: Also, that altitude there is so high that I bet

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whatever you took was hitting extra hard because like, oh damn,

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you're man, that was not a good trip.

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Speaker 2: I not a good trip in many ways.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Zach.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever tried to cheer someone up who was

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depressed and it failed miserably?

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Speaker 4: I think I've gotten better at it as I've gotten older,

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because I know that it's not my job to cheer

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someone up.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes the best thing you can well.

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Speaker 2: Technically, Zach, it is your job as a motivational speaker.

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It's true.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. That's true. But I think it like sometimes.

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Speaker 4: Just being there and sitting with someone who's depressed as

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the best. But like back in the day, like the

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worst thing to do is to try and cheer someone

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up after a breakup by telling them that their acts socked,

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because like they're in the I can't believe, like, oh

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alone now, I just like being like, oh is that.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry. They were always terrible.

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Speaker 3: If it makes you feel any better, we all hated

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them behind your back, so we didn't like you told.

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Speaker 4: You that we thought you were this was a terrible

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person for you. We were never being honest.

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Speaker 3: We've been lying to you for the length of your

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relationship with this person.

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Speaker 2: I mean, And then sometimes that could just be be like, hey,

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you're better off now, So it's not always they were.

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Maybe they're just trying to give you a different I

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don't know. I probably have done that.

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Speaker 1: You probably have done me at a bunch, but it's fine.

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I don't actually know.

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Speaker 2: I learned not to do that because then they get

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back together with the person and you've you've laid all

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the cards out exactly inevitably. So I learned not to

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do that. I learned to keep my mouth shut.

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Speaker 3: To super date this episode. But we just got a discord,

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so we're going to be trying to do more maybe

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community things, So we're gonna hop over there. And if

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you're listening to this, it's past. Yeah, you're not going

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to be able to make it.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, but we probably will put a recording of it

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up on if I could get it recording time. Zach

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You're welcome to join if you know what discord is. Nope, okay, bye,

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right coolick. Tell people where to find you.

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Speaker 1: Find me at.

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Speaker 4: I got a podcast, trivia podcast, Answer for It with

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00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,960
James and Elise Williams and aj Locasio.

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00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 1: It's a trivia podcast or comedy podcast. Just Guys is

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a trivia podcast.

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Speaker 4: You can find me at zach ander dot com and YouTube, Instagram,

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all the things.

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Speaker 1: Ye thank you so much for having me. This has

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been great. Bye bye