Speaker 1: The pet by Ellis Parker Butler. On the morning following
Speaker 1: his capture of the Hard Boiled Egg, the Riverbank Eagle
Speaker 1: printed two full columns in praise of Detective Gub and
Speaker 1: complimented Riverbank on having a superior to Sherlock Holmes. In
Speaker 1: its midst mister Philo Gubb said, the Eagle has thus
Speaker 1: far received only eleven of the twelve lessons from the
Speaker 1: Rising Sun Detective Agency's Correspondence School of Detecting, and we
Speaker 1: look for great things from him when he finally receives
Speaker 1: his diploma and badge. He informed us to day that
Speaker 1: he hopes to begin work on the Dynamite case soon.
Speaker 1: With the money he will receive for capturing the Hard
Speaker 1: Boiled Egg, mister Gubb intends to purchase eighteen complete disguises
Speaker 1: from the supply department of the Rising Sun Detective Agency
Speaker 1: slocum Ohio. Mister Gubb wishes us to announce that until
Speaker 1: the disguises arrive, he will continue to do paper hang
Speaker 1: decorating an interior painting at reasonable rates. Unfortunately, there were
Speaker 1: no calls for mister Gubb's detective services for some time
Speaker 1: after he received his disguises and diploma. But while waiting,
Speaker 1: he devoted his spare time to the Dynamite Mystery, a
Speaker 1: remarkable case on which many detectives had been working for
Speaker 1: many weeks. This led only to his being beaten up
Speaker 1: twice by Joseph Henry, one of the men he shadowed.
Speaker 1: The arrival in Riverbank of the World's Monster Combined Shows
Speaker 1: the day after mister Gubb received his diplomas seemed to
Speaker 1: offer an opportunity for his detective talents, as a circus
Speaker 1: is usually accompanied by crooks, and early in the morning,
Speaker 1: mister Gubb donned disguise number sixteen, which was cataloged as
Speaker 1: Negro hack Driver Complete twenty two dollars. But while looking
Speaker 1: for crooks while watching the circus unload, his eyes alighted
Speaker 1: on Syrilla, known as half a Ton of Beauty, the
Speaker 1: fat lady of the side show. As Marilla descended from
Speaker 1: the car aided by the living skeleton and the strong Man,
Speaker 1: the fair creature wore a low neck evening gown. Her
Speaker 1: arms and shoulders were snowy white, except for a peculiar
Speaker 1: mark on one arm. Not only had mister Gubb never
Speaker 1: seen such white arms and shoulders, but he had never
Speaker 1: seen so much arm and shoulder on one woman, and
Speaker 1: from that moment he was deeply and hopelessly in love,
Speaker 1: Like one hypnotized. He followed her to the side show tent,
Speaker 1: paid his admission, and stood all day before her platform.
Speaker 1: He was still there when the tent was taken down
Speaker 1: that night. Mister Gubb was not the only man in
Speaker 1: Riverbank to fall in love with Sorilla. When the ladies
Speaker 1: of the Riverbank Social Service League heard that the circus
Speaker 1: was coming to town, they were distressed to think how
Speaker 1: narrow the intellectual life of the side show freaks must be,
Speaker 1: and they instructed their field secretary, mister Horace Winterbury, to
Speaker 1: go to the side show and organize the freaks into
Speaker 1: an an Ibsen literary and debating society. This mister Winterbury did,
Speaker 1: and the Tasmanian wild Man was made president. But so
Speaker 1: deeply did mister Winterbury fall in love with Syrilla that
Speaker 1: he begged mister Dorgan, the manager of the side show,
Speaker 1: to let him join the side show, and this mister
Speaker 1: Dorgan did, putting him in a cage as Wah Wah
Speaker 1: the Mexican Hairless dog man. As mister Winterbury was exceedingly bald,
Speaker 1: at the very next stop made by the circus, a strong,
Speaker 1: heavy fisted woman entered the side show and dragged mister
Speaker 1: Winterbury away. This was his wife. Of this, the ladies
Speaker 1: of the Riverbank Social Service League knew nothing. However, they
Speaker 1: believed mister Winterbury had been stolen by the circus, and
Speaker 1: that he was doubtless being forced to learn to swing
Speaker 1: on a trapeze or ride a bareback horse, and they
Speaker 1: decided to hire Detective Gubb to find and return him.
Speaker 1: At the very moment when the ladies were deciding to
Speaker 1: retain mister Gubb's service as the paperhanger, detective was on
Speaker 1: his way to do a job of paper hanging, thinking
Speaker 1: of the fair Syrilla he might never see again, when
Speaker 1: suddenly he put down the pail of paste he was
Speaker 1: carrying and grasped the handle of his paste brush more firmly.
Speaker 1: He stared with amazement and fright at a remarkable creature
Speaker 1: that came toward him from a small thicket near the
Speaker 1: railway tracks. Mister Gubb's first and correct impression was that
Speaker 1: this was some remarkable creature escaped from the circus. The
Speaker 1: horrid thing loping toward him was indeed the Tasmanian wild Man.
Speaker 1: As the wild man approached, Philo Gub, prepared to defend himself.
Speaker 1: He was prepared to defend himself to his last drop
Speaker 1: of blood. When half way across the field, the Tasmanian
Speaker 1: wild man glanced back over his shoulder, and, as if
Speaker 1: fearing pursuit, increased his speed and came toward Philo Gub
Speaker 1: in great leaps and bounds. The correspondent school detective waved
Speaker 1: his pastebrush more frantically than ever. The Tasmanian wild man
Speaker 1: stopped short within six feet of him. Viewed thus closely,
Speaker 1: the wild man was a sight to curdle. The blood
Speaker 1: remnants of chains hung from his wrists and ankles. His
Speaker 1: long hair was matted about his face, and his finger
Speaker 1: nails were long and claw like. His face was daubed
Speaker 1: with ochre and red, with black rings around the eyes,
Speaker 1: and the circles within the rings were painted white, giving
Speaker 1: him an air of wildness possessed by but few wild men.
Speaker 1: His only garments were a pair of very short trunks
Speaker 1: and the skin of some wild animal, bound about his
Speaker 1: body with ropes of horse hair. Filo Gub bent to
Speaker 1: receive the leap. He felt the Tasmanian wild Man was
Speaker 1: about to make but to his surprise, the wild man
Speaker 1: held up one hand in token of amity, and with
Speaker 1: the other removed the matted hair from his head, revealing
Speaker 1: an under crop of taffy. Yellow neatly parted in the
Speaker 1: middle and smoothed back carefully. I say, old Chap, he said,
Speaker 1: in a pleasant and well bred tone, stop waving that
Speaker 1: dangerous looking weapon at me, will you? My intentions are
Speaker 1: most kindly, I assure you. Can you inform me where
Speaker 1: a chap can get a pair of trousers hereabout? Philo
Speaker 1: Gubb's experienced eye saw at once that this creature was
Speaker 1: less wild than he was painted. He lowered his pastebrush.
Speaker 1: Come into this house, said Philo Gubb. Inside the house
Speaker 1: we can discuss pants and calmness. The Tasmanian wild man
Speaker 1: accepted now, then, said Philo Gubb. When they were safe
Speaker 1: in the kitchen, he seated himself on a roll of wallpaper,
Speaker 1: and a Tasmanian wild Man, whose real name was Waldo
Speaker 1: Emerson Snooks, told his brief story. Upon graduating from Harvard,
Speaker 1: he had sought employment offering to furnish entertainment by the evening,
Speaker 1: reading an essay entitled the Comparative Mentality of Ibsen and
Speaker 1: Emerson with side lights on the effect of turnip diet
Speaker 1: at Brook Farm, but the agency was unable to get
Speaker 1: him any engagements. They happened, however, to receive a request
Speaker 1: from mister Dorgan, manager of the side show, asking for
Speaker 1: a Tasmanian wild man, and mister Snooks had taken the job.
Speaker 1: To his own surprise, he made an excellent wild man.
Speaker 1: He was able to rattle his chains, dash up and
Speaker 1: down the cage, gnaw the iron bars of the cage,
Speaker 1: eat raw meat and howl as no other Tasmanian wild
Speaker 1: man had ever done those things, and all would have
Speaker 1: been well if an interloper had not entered the side show.
Speaker 1: The interloper was mister Winterbury, who had introduced the subject
Speaker 1: of Ibsen's plays, and in a discussion of them, the
Speaker 1: Tasmanian wild Man and mister Hoxy the strong man had quarreled,
Speaker 1: and mister Hoxy had threatened to tear mister Snook's limb
Speaker 1: from limb, and he would have done so, said the
Speaker 1: Tasmanian wild Man with emotion. If I had not fled,
Speaker 1: I dare not return. I mean to work my way
Speaker 1: back to Boston and give up Tasmanian wild manning as
Speaker 1: a profession. But I cannot without pants. I guess you can't,
Speaker 1: said Philo Gubb. In any station of Boston's life, pants
Speaker 1: is expected to be worn. So the question is, old chap,
Speaker 1: where am I to be panted? Said Waldo Emerson snooks.
Speaker 1: I can't pant you, said Philo Gubb, but I can
Speaker 1: overall you. The late Tasmanian wild Man was most grateful.
Speaker 1: When he was dressed in the overalls and had wiped
Speaker 1: the grease paint from his face on an old rag.
Speaker 1: No one would have recognized him. And as for thanks,
Speaker 1: said Philo Gub, don't mention it. A detecative gent is
Speaker 1: obliged to keep up a set of disguises hitherto unsuspected
Speaker 1: by the mortal world. This Tasmanian wild Man outfit will
Speaker 1: do for a hermit disguise, so you don't owe me
Speaker 1: no thanks. As Philo Gubb watched Waldo Emerson Snook start
Speaker 1: in the direction of Boston, only some thirteen hundred miles away,
Speaker 1: he had no idea how soon he would have occasion
Speaker 1: to use the Tasmanian wild Man disguise. But hardly had
Speaker 1: the wild man departed than a small boy came to
Speaker 1: summon mister Gubb. And it was with a sense of
Speaker 1: elation and importance that he appeared before the meeting of
Speaker 1: the Riverbank Ladies Social Service League. And so said Missus
Speaker 1: Garthwaite at the close of the interview. You understand us,
Speaker 1: mister Gubb, Yes, ma'am, said Philo Gubb. What you want
Speaker 1: me to do is find mister Winterbury, Ain't it exactly
Speaker 1: agreed Missus Garthwaite. And when found, said mister Gubb, the
Speaker 1: said stolen goods is to be returned to you just so,
Speaker 1: and the fiends in human form that stole him are
Speaker 1: to be given thee full limit of the law. They
Speaker 1: certainly deserve it abducting a nice little gentleman like mister Winterbury,
Speaker 1: said Missus Garthwaite. They do, indeed, said Philo Gubb, and
Speaker 1: they shall be. I would only ask how far you
Speaker 1: want me to arrest? If the manager of the side
Speaker 1: show stole him, My natural and professional detecative instincts would
Speaker 1: tell me to arrest the manager. And if the whole
Speaker 1: side show stole him, I would make bold to arrest
Speaker 1: the whole side show. But if the whole circus stole him,
Speaker 1: am I to arrest the whole circus? And if so,
Speaker 1: ought I to include the menagerie. Ought I to arrest
Speaker 1: the elephants and the camels. Arrest only those in human form,
Speaker 1: said Missus Garthwaite. Philo Gubb sat straight and put his
Speaker 1: hands on his knees in referring to human form, ma'am,
Speaker 1: He asked, do you include them orangutangs and apes? I do,
Speaker 1: said Missus Garthwaite. Association with criminals has probably inclined their
Speaker 1: poor minds to criminality. Yes, ma'am, said Philo Gubb, rising,
Speaker 1: I leave on this case by the first train. Mister
Speaker 1: Gubb hastily packed the Tasmanian garment and six other disguises
Speaker 1: in his suit case, put the fourteen dollars given him
Speaker 1: by Missus Garthwaite in his pocket, and hurried to catch
Speaker 1: the train for Bardville, where the World's Monster Combined shows
Speaker 1: were to show the next day. With true detective caution,
Speaker 1: Philo Gubb disguised even this simple act. Having packed his suitcase,
Speaker 1: mister Gubb rapped it carefully in Manila paper and inserted
Speaker 1: a laundry ticket under the twine. Thus anyone seeing him
Speaker 1: might well suppose he was returning from the laundry and
Speaker 1: not going to Bardville. To make this scene the more likely,
Speaker 1: he donned his Chinese disguise number seventeen, consisting of a
Speaker 1: pink skull like wig with a long pigtail, a blue jumper,
Speaker 1: and a yellow complexion. Mister Gubb rubbed his face with
Speaker 1: crude ochre powder, and his complexion was a little high,
Speaker 1: being more the hue of a pumpkin than the true
Speaker 1: oriental skin tint. Those he met on his way to
Speaker 1: the station imagined he was in the last stages of
Speaker 1: yellow fever, and fled from him hastily. He reached the
Speaker 1: station just as the train's wheels began to move, and
Speaker 1: he was springing up the steps onto the platform of
Speaker 1: the last car when a hand grasped his arm. He
Speaker 1: turned his head and saw that the man grasping him
Speaker 1: was Jonas Meadowbrook, one of Riverbank's wealthiest men. Gub, I
Speaker 1: want you, shouted Meadowbrook energetically, but Philo Gubb shook off
Speaker 1: the detaining arm. Mino savi melek and talkie. He jabbered
Speaker 1: bunting mister Meadowbrook off the car step bright and early.
Speaker 1: The next morning, Philo Gubb gave himself a healthy coat
Speaker 1: of tan with rather high color on his cheek bones
Speaker 1: from his collection of beards and mustaches, carefully tagged from
Speaker 1: number one to number eighteen in harmony with the types
Speaker 1: of disguises mentioned in the twelve Lessons of the Rising
Speaker 1: Sun Detective Agency's Correspondence School of Detecting. He selected mustache
Speaker 1: number eight and inserted the spring wires into his nostrils.
Speaker 1: Mustache number eight was a long, deadly black mustache with
Speaker 1: upcurled ends, and when Philo Gubb had donted, he had
Speaker 1: a most sinister appearance, particularly as he failed to remove
Speaker 1: the string tag which bore the legend number eight Gambler
Speaker 1: or card Sharp, manufactured and sold by the Rising Sun
Speaker 1: Detective Agency's Correspondence School of Detecting Supply Bureau. Having put
Speaker 1: on this mustache, mister Gubb took a common splint market
Speaker 1: basket from under the bed and placed it in the
Speaker 1: matted hair of the Tasmanian wild Man. His make up
Speaker 1: materials a small mirror, two towels, a cake of soap,
Speaker 1: The Tasmanian wild man's animal skin robe, the hair rope,
Speaker 1: and the abbreviated trunks. He covered these with a newspaper.
Speaker 1: The sun was just rising when he reached the railway siding,
Speaker 1: and hardly had mister Gubb arrived when the work of
Speaker 1: unloading the circus began. Mister Gubb, searching for the abducted
Speaker 1: mister Winterbury, sped rapidly from place to place, the string
Speaker 1: tag on his mustache napping over his shoulder, but he
Speaker 1: saw no one answering missus Garthwaite's description of mister Winterbury.
Speaker 1: When the tent wagons had departed, the elephants and camels
Speaker 1: were unloaded, but mister Winterbury did not seem to be
Speaker 1: concealed among them, and the animal cages which came next
Speaker 1: were all tightly closed. There were four or five cars, however,
Speaker 1: that attracted Philo Gubb's attention, and one in particular made
Speaker 1: his heart beat rapidly. This car bore the words World's
Speaker 1: monster combined Show's freak car, and as mister Winterbury had
Speaker 1: gone as a social reform agent to the side show,
Speaker 1: mister Gubb rightly felt that here, if anywhere, he would
Speaker 1: find a clue and he was doubly agitated, since he
Speaker 1: knew the beautiful Syrilla was doubtless in that car. Walking
Speaker 1: around the car, he heard the door at one end open.
Speaker 1: He crouched under the platform, his ears and eyes on edge.
Speaker 1: Hardly was he concealed Before the head ruffian of the
Speaker 1: unloading gang approached mister Dorgan. He said, in quite another
Speaker 1: tone than he had used to his laborers. Should I
Speaker 1: fetch that wild man cage to the grounds for you today? No,
Speaker 1: said Dorgon. What's the use I don't like an empty
Speaker 1: cage standing around. Leave it on the car, Jake, or
Speaker 1: hold on, I'll use it. Take it up to the
Speaker 1: grounds and put it in the side show as usual.
Speaker 1: I'll put the pet in it, are ye foolin? Asked
Speaker 1: the loading boss with a grin. The cage won't know itself,
Speaker 1: mister Dorgan, after holdin that rip snortin wild man to
Speaker 1: be holdin a cold corpse like the pet is never
Speaker 1: you mind, said Dorgon shortly. I know my business, Jake,
Speaker 1: You and I know the pet is a dead one,
Speaker 1: but these country yaps don't know it. I might as
Speaker 1: well make some use of the remains as long as
Speaker 1: I've got em one hand. Who are you going to fool, sweetie,
Speaker 1: asked a voice, and mister Dorgan looked around to see Sorilla,
Speaker 1: the Fat Lady, standing in the car door. Oh just folks,
Speaker 1: said Dorgon, laughing. You're going to use the pet, said
Speaker 1: the fat lady, reproachfully. And I don't think it's nice
Speaker 1: of you say what you will, mister Dorgan. A corpse
Speaker 1: is a corpse, and a respectable side show ain't no
Speaker 1: place for it. I wish you would take it out
Speaker 1: in the lot and bury it like I wanted you to,
Speaker 1: or throw it in the river and get rid of it,
Speaker 1: won't you, deary, I will not, said mister Dorgan firmly.
Speaker 1: A corpse may be a corpse, Sorilla, any place but
Speaker 1: in the circus. But in a circus, it's a feature.
Speaker 1: He's going to be one of the seven sleepers, one
Speaker 1: of what, asked Sorilla. One of the seven sleepers, said Dorgan.
Speaker 1: I'm going to put him in the cage the wild
Speaker 1: Man was in, and I'm going to tell the audience
Speaker 1: he's asleep. He looks dead, I'll say, but I give
Speaker 1: my word he's only asleep. We offer five thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I'll say to any man, woman, or child that proves
Speaker 1: contrary than that. We have documents proven that this human
Speaker 1: being in this cage fell asleep in the year eighteen
Speaker 1: thirty seven and has been sleeping ever since, the longest
Speaker 1: nap on record. I'll say that'll fetch a laugh. And
Speaker 1: you don't care, dearie, that I'll be creepy all through
Speaker 1: the show, do you, said, Sorilla, I won't care a hang,
Speaker 1: said Dorgan. Mister Gubb glided noiselessly from under the car
Speaker 1: and sped away. He had hurt enough to know that
Speaker 1: deviltry was afoot. There was no doubt in his mind
Speaker 1: that the pet was the late mister Winterbury. For if
Speaker 1: ever a man deserved to be called pet, mister Winterbury,
Speaker 1: according to missus Garthwaite's description, was that man. There was
Speaker 1: no doubt that mister Winterbury had been murdered, and that
Speaker 1: these heartless wretches meant to make capital of his body.
Speaker 1: The inference was logical, It was a strong clue, and
Speaker 1: mister Gubb hurried to the circus grounds to study the situation. No,
Speaker 1: said Syrilla, tearfully, you don't care a hang for the
Speaker 1: nerves of the lady in gent freaks under your care,
Speaker 1: mister Dorgan. It's nothing to you if repulsion from that
Speaker 1: corpse like Pet dragged seventy or eighty pounds of fat
Speaker 1: off of me for you well know what. My contract
Speaker 1: is so much a week, and so much for each
Speaker 1: additional pound of fat, and the less fat I am,
Speaker 1: the less you have to add on to your pay roll.
Speaker 1: The day that Pet come to this show, first I
Speaker 1: fainted outright and busted down the platform. But little do
Speaker 1: you care, mister Dorgan. Don't you worry? You didn't murder him,
Speaker 1: said mister Dorgan. He looks so lifelike, sobbed Sorilla. Oh
Speaker 1: Hooxy shouted mister Dorgan. Yes, sir, said the strong man
Speaker 1: coming to the car door. Take Sorilla in and tell
Speaker 1: the girls to put ice on her head. She's getting
Speaker 1: hysterics again. And when you've told him, go go up
Speaker 1: to the grounds and tell Blake and Skinny to unpack
Speaker 1: the petrified man. Tell him I'm going to use him
Speaker 1: again to day. And if he's lookin shop worn, have
Speaker 1: one of the men go over his complexion and make
Speaker 1: him look nice and life like. Mister Dorgan swung off
Speaker 1: from the car step and walked away. The petrified man
Speaker 1: had been one of his mistakes. In days past, petrified
Speaker 1: men had been important side show features, and mister Dorgan
Speaker 1: had supposed the time had come to reintroduce them, and
Speaker 1: he had had an excellent petrified man made of concrete,
Speaker 1: with steel reinforcements in the legs and arms, and a
Speaker 1: body of hollow tile so that it could stand rough travel. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: the features of the petrified man had been entrusted to
Speaker 1: an artist devoted to the making of clothing dummies. Instead
Speaker 1: of an Aztec or cave dweller. Cast in the countenance,
Speaker 1: he had given the petrified man the simpering features of
Speaker 1: the wax figures seen in cheap clothing stores. The result
Speaker 1: was that instead of gazing at the petrified man with
Speaker 1: awe as a wonder of nature, the audiences laughed at him,
Speaker 1: and the living freaks dubbed him the pet or still
Speaker 1: more rudely, the corpse, And when the glass case broke
Speaker 1: at the end of the week, mister Dorton ordered the
Speaker 1: pet packed in a box. Just now, however, the flight
Speaker 1: of the Tasmanian wild man and the involuntary departure of
Speaker 1: mister Winterbury at the command of his wife. After his
Speaker 1: short appearance as wah Wah the Mexican Hairless dog Man,
Speaker 1: suggested the new use for the petrified man. When Detective
Speaker 1: Gub reached the circus grounds, the glaring banners had not
Speaker 1: yet been erected before the side show tent, but all
Speaker 1: the tents except the big top were up, and all
Speaker 1: hands were at work on that. One. Were supposed to
Speaker 1: be two were not. Two of the roughest looking roustabouts,
Speaker 1: after glancing here and there, glided into the property tent
Speaker 1: and concealed themselves behind a pile of blue cases, hampers,
Speaker 1: and canvas bags. One of them immediately drew from under
Speaker 1: his coat a small but heavy parcel wrapped in an
Speaker 1: old rag. Say cull, he said, in a coarse voice.
Speaker 1: You sure have got a head on you. This here
Speaker 1: stuff will be just as safe in there as in
Speaker 1: the bank. See gimme the screwdriver, not to be opened
Speaker 1: until Chicago, said the other gleefully, pointing to the words
Speaker 1: daubed on one of the blue cases. But I guess
Speaker 1: it will be hay old pal, I guess. So together
Speaker 1: they removed the lid of the box, and detective cubs
Speaker 1: seeking the side show, crawled under the wall of the
Speaker 1: property tent, just in time to see the two Ruffians
Speaker 1: hurriedly jam their parcel into the case and screw the
Speaker 1: lid in place again. Mister Gubb's mustache was now in
Speaker 1: a diagonal position, but little he cared for that. His
Speaker 1: eyes were fastened on the countenance of the two rousedabouts.
Speaker 1: The men were easy to remember. One was red headed
Speaker 1: and pock marked, and the other was dark, and the
Speaker 1: lobes of his ears were slit, as if someone had
Speaker 1: at some time forcibly removed a pair of rings from them.
Speaker 1: Very quietly, Philo Gubb wiggled backwards out of the tent,
Speaker 1: but as he did so, his eyes caught a word
Speaker 1: painted on the side of the blue case. It was pet.
Speaker 1: Mister Gubb proceeded to the next tent. Stooping, he peered inside,
Speaker 1: and what he saw satisfied him that he had found
Speaker 1: the side show. Around the inside of the tent, men
Speaker 1: were erecting a blue platform, and on the far side
Speaker 1: four men were wheeling a tongueless cage into place. A
Speaker 1: door at the backside of the cage swung open and
Speaker 1: shut as the men moved the cage, but another in
Speaker 1: front was securely bolted and barred. Mister Gubb lowered the
Speaker 1: tent wall and backed away. It was into this cage
Speaker 1: that the body of mister Winterbury was to be put
Speaker 1: to make a public holiday for yokels, and the murder
Speaker 1: was still at large. Murderer, murderers, For who were the
Speaker 1: two rough characters he had seen tampering with the case
Speaker 1: containing the remains of the pet? What had they been
Speaker 1: putting in the case. If not the murderers, they were
Speaker 1: surely accomplices. Walking like a wary flamingo, mister Gubb circled
Speaker 1: the tent. He saw mister Dorgan and Syrilla enter it.
Speaker 1: Himself hidden in a clump of bushes. He saw mister Lonardon,
Speaker 1: the living Skeleton, mister Hoxey, the strong Man, Major Ching,
Speaker 1: the Chinese Giant, General Thumb, the Dwarf, Princess Zozo, the
Speaker 1: Serpent Charmer, Maggie the Sircassian girl, and the rest of
Speaker 1: the sideshow employees enter the tent. Then he removed his
Speaker 1: number eight mustache and put it in his pocket, and
Speaker 1: balanced his mirror against a twig. Mister Gubb was changing
Speaker 1: his disguise. For a while, the lady and gentleman Freak
Speaker 1: stood talking, casting reproachful glances at mister Dorgan. Crilla with
Speaker 1: traces of tears on her face, with complaining of the
Speaker 1: cruel man who insisted that the pet become part of
Speaker 1: the show once more, and mister Dorgan was resisting their reproaches.
Speaker 1: I'm the boss of the show, he said, firmly. I'm
Speaker 1: going to use that cage, and I'm going to use
Speaker 1: that pet. Couldn't you put Orlando in it and get
Speaker 1: up a spiel about him, asked Princess Zozo, whose largest
Speaker 1: serpent was called Orlando. If you got him a bottle
Speaker 1: of cold cream from the make up tent, he'd lie
Speaker 1: for hours with his dear little nose sniff in it.
Speaker 1: He's passionately fond of cold cream. Well, the public ain't
Speaker 1: passionately fond of seeing a snake smellet, said mister Dorgan.
Speaker 1: The pet is goin into that cage. See. Couldn't you
Speaker 1: borrow an ape from the menagerie, asked mister Lonerdon, the
Speaker 1: living skeleton, who was as passionately fond of Sorilla as
Speaker 1: Orlando was of cold cream, and have him be the
Speaker 1: first man monkey to speak the human language. Only he's
Speaker 1: got a cold and can't today. You did that once
Speaker 1: and got roasted by the whole crowd. No, sir, mister Laningingon,
Speaker 1: I can't and I won't bring that case right over here,
Speaker 1: he added, turning to the four roustabouts who were carrying
Speaker 1: the blue case into the tent. Got it open good now?
Speaker 1: He looked toward the cage and stopped short, his mouth
Speaker 1: open and his eyes staring. Sitting on his haunches, his
Speaker 1: fore paws or hands hanging down like those of a
Speaker 1: becking dog. A Tasmanian wild man stared from between the
Speaker 1: bars of the cage. The matted hair, the bare legs,
Speaker 1: the animal skin blanket, the streaks of ochre and red
Speaker 1: on the face, the black circles around the eyes with
Speaker 1: the white inside the circles were those of a real
Speaker 1: Tasmanian wild man. But this Tasmanian wild man was tall
Speaker 1: and thin, almost rivaling mister Lanardon in that respect. The
Speaker 1: thin Roman nose and the blinky eyes, together with the
Speaker 1: manner of holding the head on one' side, suggested a bird,
Speaker 1: a large and dissipated flamingo for instance, mister Dorgan stared
Speaker 1: with his mouth open. He stared so steadily that he
Speaker 1: even took a telegram from the messenger boy, who entered
Speaker 1: the tent and signed for it without looking at the address.
Speaker 1: The messenger boy, too, stopped to stare at the Tasmanian flamingo.
Speaker 1: The man who had brought the blue case set it
Speaker 1: down and stared. The freaks gathered in front of the
Speaker 1: cage and stared. What is it? Asked Cyrilla, in a
Speaker 1: voice trembling with emotion. Say where in the USA did
Speaker 1: you come from? Asked mister Dorgan. Suddenly, what in the
Speaker 1: dickens are you anyway? I'm a Tasmanian wild man, said
Speaker 1: mister Gubb mildly. You a Tasmanian wild man, said mister Dorgan.
Speaker 1: You don't think you look like a Tasmanian wild man?
Speaker 1: Do you? Why you look like you look like you?
Speaker 1: You look? He looks like an intoxicated pterodactyl, said mister Lonergan,
Speaker 1: who had some knowledge of prehistoric animals. Only harrier, he
Speaker 1: looks like a human turkey with a piebald face, suggested
Speaker 1: General Thumb. He don't look like nothing, said mister Dorgan,
Speaker 1: at last, that's what he looks like. You get out
Speaker 1: of that cage, he added sternly to mister Gubb, I
Speaker 1: don't want nothing that looks like you nowhere near this show.
Speaker 1: But mister Dorgan, dearie, think how he'd draw crowds, said Marilla. Crowds.
Speaker 1: Of course, he'd draw crowds, said mister Dorgan. But what
Speaker 1: would I say when I lectured about him? What would
Speaker 1: I call him? No, he's got to go, boys, he
Speaker 1: said to the four roustabouts, two of whom were those
Speaker 1: mister Gubb had seen in the property tent. Throw this
Speaker 1: feller out of the tent. Stop, said mister Gubb, raising
Speaker 1: one hand. I will admit I have tried to deceive you.
Speaker 1: I am not a Tasmanian wild man. I am a
Speaker 1: detecative detective, said mister Dorgan. In disguise, said mister Gubb modestly.
Speaker 1: In the detecative profession, the assuming of disguises is often
Speaker 1: necessary to the completion of the clarification of a mystery plot.
Speaker 1: He pointed down at the pet whose newly rouged and
Speaker 1: powdered face rested smirkingly in the box below the cage.
Speaker 1: I arrest you all he said, but before he could
Speaker 1: complete the sentence, the red headed man and the black
Speaker 1: headed man turned and bolted from the tent. Mister Gubb
Speaker 1: beat and jerked at the bars of his cage as
Speaker 1: frantically as mister Waldo Emerson's snooks had ever beaten and jerked,
Speaker 1: but he could not rend them apart. Get those two fellers,
Speaker 1: mister Gubb shouted to mister Hoxey, and the strong man
Speaker 1: ran from the tent. What's this about, arrest, asked mister Dorgan.
Speaker 1: I arrest this whole side show, said mister Gubb, pressing
Speaker 1: his face between the bars of the cage, for the
Speaker 1: murder of that poor gentle, harmless man, now a dead
Speaker 1: corpse into that blue box there, mister Winterberry by name,
Speaker 1: but called by you by the alias of the pet Winterbury,
Speaker 1: exclaimed mister Dorgan. That Winterberry, That that ain't Winterberry. That's
Speaker 1: a stone man, a made to order concrete man with
Speaker 1: hollow tile stomach and reinforced concrete arms and legs. I
Speaker 1: had him made to order. The criminal mind is well
Speaker 1: equipped with explanations for use in time of stress, said
Speaker 1: mister Gubb. Less than six of the Correspondent's school of detecating,
Speaker 1: warns the detecative against explanations of murderers. When confronted by
Speaker 1: the victim, I demand an autopsy onto mister Winterbury. Autopsy,
Speaker 1: exclaimed mister Dorgan. I'll autopsy him for you. He grasped
Speaker 1: one of the pet's hands and wrenched off one concrete arm.
Speaker 1: He struck the head with a tense steak and shattered
Speaker 1: it into a crumbling concrete He jerked the Roman tunic
Speaker 1: from the body and disclosed the hollow tile stomach. Hello,
Speaker 1: he said, lifting a rag wrapped parcel from the interior
Speaker 1: of the pet. What's this? When unwrapped, it proved to
Speaker 1: be two dozen silver forks and spoons and a good
Speaker 1: sized silver trophy cup Riverbank Country Club Duffer's Golf Trophy
Speaker 1: nineteen o nine, mister Dorgan read, won by Jonas Meadowbrook.
Speaker 1: How did that get there? Jonas Meadowbrook said. Gubb is
Speaker 1: a man of my own local town. He is is,
Speaker 1: he said, mister Dorgan. And what's your name? Gub? Said
Speaker 1: the detective Filo Gubb Esquire detecative and paperhanger, Riverbank, Iowa.
Speaker 1: Then this is for you, said mister Dorgan, and he
Speaker 1: handed the telegram to mister Gubb. The detective opened it
Speaker 1: and read Gub care of Circus Bardville, Iowa. My house
Speaker 1: robbed Circus Knight golf cup gone game now rotten. Never
Speaker 1: win another five hundred dollar's reward for return to me
Speaker 1: Jonas Meadowbrook. You didn't actually come here to find mister Winterbury,
Speaker 1: did you, asked Syrilla. Mister Gubb folded the telegram, raised
Speaker 1: his matted hair, and tucked the telegram between it and
Speaker 1: his own hair for safe keeping. When a detecative starts
Speaker 1: out to detect, he said calmly, sometimes he detects one thing,
Speaker 1: and sometimes he detects another. That cup is one of
Speaker 1: the things I detected today. And now, if all are willing,
Speaker 1: I'll step outside and get my pants on. I'll feel
Speaker 1: better and you'll look better, said mister Dorgan. You couldn't
Speaker 1: look worse in the course of the detecative career, said
Speaker 1: mister Gubb. A gent has to look a lot of
Speaker 1: different ways, and I thank you for the compliment. The
Speaker 1: art of disguising the human physiology is difficult. This disguise
Speaker 1: is but one of many I am frequently called upon
Speaker 1: to assume. Well, if any more like this one, said
Speaker 1: mister Dorgan with sincerity. I'm lad I'm not a detective. Marilla, however,
Speaker 1: heaved her several hundred pounds of bosom and cast her
Speaker 1: eyes towards mister Gobb. I think detectives are lovely in
Speaker 1: any disguise, she said, and mister Gobb's heart beat wildly.
Speaker 1: And of the Pet by Ellis Parker Butler