Speaker 1: All right, So Joe is not having a great day.
He tries to get on the jet his his sugar
baby has left the boat and now he's trying to
get on the jet ski and Joe goes, Hey, how
many drinks have you had? And he goes on and Joe,
who's fine to have people have a good time, goes
how many drinks has the fat one had? And they say, oh,
he's had seven since he's been here. He had ten
before he got here.
Speaker 2: So I would have put him on the jetski.
Speaker 3: I would have locked the steering wheel and I would
have just set him straight with the steering wheel locked
towards another yacht.
Speaker 1: Hilo and welcome a back TV. That's short for bad television.
I'm dyl that's short for Dylan. That's pat short for Patty.
Speaker 2: Great to be here, permission to come aboard.
Speaker 1: And that's Kaylin. Hello, Hey, Kaylin. We're fresh off the
US's victory over the Ruse thice fucking kangaroos. Get in
the comments, let us know if you're enjoying this World Cup.
Kaitlin's got World Cup fever? Do you know that?
Speaker 2: Pretty electric? I'm not gonna lie as a non soccer fan,
this is fun.
Speaker 1: Do you have World Cup fever?
Speaker 2: No, I think it's done.
Speaker 1: Watched the game?
Speaker 3: If you first off, it is choogi at this point
for a American who hates the sport to mock it,
I appreciate your enjoyment of it.
Speaker 2: It's not for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, got it. So what is for you is Summer House,
the Aftermath and Rhode Island Part one reunion really kind
of electric stuff. I mean we're almost physically fighting one
another and you had to stand up during that reunion.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So Dylan and I viewed the very very rough cut
right of the reunion Part one. I hope they leave
all of it in. It's phenomenal. Yeah, there's a lot
of hearsay in there, dare I say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of hearsay, a lot of I want
to bring this up, but I don't want to talk
about it. A lot of that. But go to Patron
dot com slash another podcast network for all of that stuff.
Let's get into below deck. Pat what did you think
about this episode? Spoiler alert? I'm gonna give it like
ninety seven pots.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, well it's been this is now in the
history of the podcast Patty Loves a villain. I love
a hateful person, and Joe really delivered.
Speaker 2: Now unfortunately a fat drunk. Now, oh, he's.
Speaker 3: More than just a fat drug unfortunately for old Patty.
We record these episodes a few days before they actually
air to the rest of the country. Now there is
now the country as once the country gets to consume
this episode, we will have various internet dig through Joe's
you know, how do you most important, how did you
amass this fortune of yours? Because it's tough to figure
out how this guy. I wouldn't let him run a
fucking lemonade stead.
Speaker 1: You know these guys, they're a dime a dozen. It's
it's insurance fraud until the guillotine comes down. And the
guillotine eventually comes down. I don't know, but usually when
you see somebody who's got a serious substance abuse problem,
is bereft of or is deprived or does why the
fancy words, doesn't have a fucking iota of charisma and
seems like also a dumb ass. You there's something fishy there,
but that's kind of the way you make money in America.
Speaker 3: M Yeah, he is the posting for white masculinity, toxic
white masculinity, and I want to tell our listeners.
Speaker 2: I personally believe I haven't run. I'm running into.
Speaker 3: Less and less of these as I get older. I
believe they're like the dinosaurs.
Speaker 1: You've simmered down a little bit.
Speaker 2: I think they are going extinct only because society will not.
Speaker 3: Tolerate this anymore. We have cam is and we can
record them, we can report them and so. But of
clearly this idiot has does not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's why I take umbrage with Pedge, Disorbo
and Hannah Burner, what with filling their podcasts up constantly
talking about how we stuck. And it's like I get it,
but like we're we're actually trying to do better. We're
like the first generation of guys is we're actually trying
to do better. Like I'm changing diapers all the time.
But Joe, that guy had never changed the paper and
he sired seven children.
Speaker 2: Well, I want to know he does he have kids?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh, well, I want to know how many ex wives
he has.
Speaker 3: I'm going to build a profile on if you don't mind. Okay,
so he's definitely not a tech guy. I can't pin
that on him now, and also he Johnny, you got
to figure out how he's construction, Okay, construction or some
kind of like real estate thing. I think he might
rent private planes something he fell into a number of
years ago. Where now he can be this person and
still get mailbox money because he can't be around the office.
Speaker 2: There'd be millions and millions of lawsuits around surrounding his behavior.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, maybe not millions, but at least seven.
Speaker 2: Seven a year and which would cause millions of dollars
of ross reliabilities. So my profile is that company is
not public.
Speaker 3: It must be private because if it was public, he'd
be kicked off the board because he's a dude.
Speaker 1: Are you doing this deep dive dive?
Speaker 3: I want to see how right it has to do
with real estate or some kind of business, something to
do with golf or private playing, rental something golf.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like a douchebag guy.
Speaker 3: How would you know, Johnny, who's known as the dumbest
athlete in the history of sports.
Speaker 1: Well, Frank Gore is actually the dumbest athlete in the
history of sports.
Speaker 3: But go ahead, okay, anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the episode.
It was all over the place, props to uh Asia
and Captain Sandy.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give Nate a.
Speaker 3: Little shit this episode, but that being said, he did
a good job too.
Speaker 1: Yeah fourteen knots Calen, what'd you think?
Speaker 2: Great episode?
Speaker 4: Okay, I am you know when it happened, I was
very very concerned whether or not Asia had her brothers
promoting Kaylee.
Speaker 1: To second Still, you know, like I was gonna say,
like not giving Gerbels the head of propaganda, but that what,
why would we No?
Speaker 2: I think that's a good one.
Speaker 1: I think that's you know, you know Gerbels. He was
very braggadocious about his he was hung u in uh Nuremberg. Yeah,
I think they all slipped the noose and started just second.
Speaker 2: They made it to Argentine.
Speaker 1: I think so. I think so. But anyways, we don't
need to talk about the Nazis. Okay, Jen is not one,
but she is a nutbag. And Asia, I think in
this fell swoop may have demonstrated, maybe I'm giving her
too much credit, maybe demonstrated that she knows a thing
or two about good television.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you pointed that out.
Speaker 3: I have a note that says, uh definitely producer based
because Kermit knows human nature and she's very thought better
better and that.
Speaker 1: So we got to talk about this on APS. Can
we stop saying Michael Jackson got framed, he fucked children? Okay, enough,
go ahead.
Speaker 3: Oh I love one of our patrons. L. It's not
that we're offended, it's that it's not funny.
Speaker 2: Fuck you, it is.
Speaker 1: Don't talk about L like that. Don't talk about L
like that, all right, go ahead?
Speaker 3: Okay, Kermit is really on top of things, and that
whole spiel about like, look I look at a CV,
I look at a resume, but it's.
Speaker 2: Really who Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, you understand that this is going to create some
wonderful draw is what you understood.
Speaker 1: We've also got Luke, who is absolutely fucked. He is.
I don't think Luke recognizes the danger that he is in.
He is not only stuck between two women, he is
stuck between two lunatics. Okay, Joy, I love Joy. Joy
is perfect for this show, and Jen is a lunatic. Okay,
so he is in grave danger. Nathan continues to just
be such a dumbass. I mean, we've all I don't
know if I can say we've all, but I've had
this this moment before where you think there is a
certain level of familiarity between you and your boss and
you start trotting out bits of yourself that are just
not appropriate, and your boss goes, WHOA. The Sandy kind
of mentorship of Nathan is one of the most bizarre things.
Speaker 2: Kill that guy. I no, no, you're not going to
do that.
Speaker 1: I don't know who has Sandy's wife in a basement
somewhere or why they're doing it so that Nate can
have this position. It makes no sense to me. But
it's a good season so far. We started off the
season with negative nearly over here going. I don't want Nathan,
I don't want Joe, I don't want Asha. I think
that this is a great season so far.
Speaker 2: I'm having fun.
Speaker 1: I think they're firing on all cylinders, seventeen pots.
Speaker 2: You want me to start us off?
Speaker 1: No, it's okay, I got it. Why would you say
that I got it?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Because you were pausing? No, no, no, dead air is
weird to listen because they start pressing buttons going to know.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking, man, last week left off, Nathan
was being a fucking asshole, and I think that we
can say that pretty much safely every episode.
Speaker 3: Now, let me point out why he's being an asshole, please,
Because he's trying to protect the honor of a.
Speaker 2: Woman he's gonna dump in eight months. Yeah, okay, Now.
Speaker 1: Because and and the gender broadly that he's been treating
like shit for most of his life.
Speaker 3: Well and and clearly, I think more importantly protecting the
honor of the mother of his child, both of whom
will be living at a separate address in eight months.
Oh yeah, yeah, but right now on camera in front
of producers and us, it's crucial that Joe keep uh
keep a Gil's name out of his mouth.
Speaker 1: Caln is the camera, Okay, I have injured my back.
I feel like seabiscuit. I have an upper hip issue
right now? Is this okay? Totally? Okay? Great? So a
couple of quotes from Nathan really quickly in response to
just saying I wasn't bad bouncing her, Nathan says to me,
you did, okay?
Speaker 2: Oh that that's the line with this is my truth.
Speaker 1: Kim Fu does Kim Jong un? Who the fuck are
you to go? I don't care what is actually going on.
You're going to the camps. It's just crazy. Another quote
don't do it again, because my next reaction won't be
as nice. WHOA, okay, fistful of dollars, you tough guy.
God just drives me crazy.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: Nathan storms off and Asia tries to calm him down,
and she says, hey, his mom told him that she
was going to die today, so maybe take it easy.
Speaker 3: Well okay, well hold on, Yeah it is. Mom gave
him some bad news, she said, Joey, Joey, say goodbye to.
Speaker 2: I don't know how much longer I have, possibly minutes,
maybe seconds. Maybe I'm dead now right, I don't even
know I'm talking. Joey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm dead. It's important for us to not ridicule
a woman going through breast cancer and telling her son
that she might die.
Speaker 2: I'm dead, Joey, I'm dead.
Speaker 3: Here's what I wanted to do. Yeah, and this is
a sick ex experiments, So forgive Patty. Pretend I'm not Patty.
I'm some jerk. I want to take India's you're devon.
My name's My name's Devin, Devin Deck.
Speaker 2: And let's play on Dick.
Speaker 1: Is your brother's name? Devin?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so let's do another name?
Speaker 1: Uh Dale, Dale, do you have a brother named Dale.
Speaker 3: Okay, great, I'm Dale the Dick. Dale the Dick steals
his sister's phone.
Speaker 1: Joe's sister's phone texts.
Speaker 2: Joe while he's dancing with Kaylee at the club and says.
Speaker 1: Mom's dead fastest cancer.
Speaker 3: Keep the camera on, Joe, Joe would look at it,
that screen, close it, set the phone down, and I
would bet Joe continue dancing, feeling her ass and continue
trying to.
Speaker 2: Get in her pan.
Speaker 1: No, Joe's a bad guy, but I'm not sure, Dale Dale,
I don't know.
Speaker 2: Person.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so. But listen while Asia tries
to tell Nathan to calm the fuck down and be
a manager of Sea Rats, he says, I'm gonna punch
him in the fucking face if I don't get out
of here again. I don't know what kind of West
Side story you think that you're in right now, It's
not cool for a manager to say I'm going to
punch him in the face. Like, it's just not It's
not okay. People are going to start filing that stuff away.
Speaker 2: Also, can I say this when he goes back to
the house.
Speaker 3: I know I'm jumping a little of myself here and
he tells either her or us, like, this is where
I want to be. I want to this season. I
want to spend as much time with my family as
I can. I'd like to point out he just spent
dinner with his co workers and would have spent the
entire night with him. I'd argue ye, had he not
gotten in that carfuffle.
Speaker 1: And also, there are plenty of aquatic based jobs that
you can get that don't require you to fly halfway
across you know, I don't know, but if you really
wanted to figure it out.
Speaker 3: By the way, I have a word for Nate, and
this is the last shit I'll give him on this episode.
Because Patty likes to be condescending to people. I've learned
a lot of life lessons.
Speaker 2: Look here, you know, not a.
Speaker 3: Turd, You spineless, you spineless little weasel. Okay, okay, you
have a kid now. I don't know why you broke
up unless uh Gail is someone like off camera that
we don't know, but I believe she's probably the same person.
She might be, so said, fucking girls that are dming
you right because you're on TV right now.
Speaker 2: That game is over. Yeah you lose her?
Speaker 3: Yeah, babe, get up there, get back with your wife,
and for the sake of the kid, man up, Man up, Nate.
Speaker 1: And to all men out there, man up. It's over.
Your life is over. It's time to picture it up
off the floor and wipe up spills. It's not fun,
but you had your time. Now be tired and die.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the rest of us, they aren't having fun.
Speaker 1: The fuck is so confusing about this with these friends
that are like, man, I don't know, Man, I don't know.
If you can do it, you can do it. Just
be miserable. It's fine, all right. So Joe and Kaylee
are having a good time. She's making orgasm noises at
the dinner tail.
Speaker 2: I like that?
Speaker 1: Was that?
Speaker 2: That's what he said?
Speaker 1: Can? I mean, who wouldn't like it?
Speaker 2: It's yeah, but you don't have to voice it.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a very beautiful woman making orgasm noises and
then showing you a tattoo that says liability on her lip.
Oh my god, I think I'm gonna have sex with
this person. Yeah.
Speaker 3: She likes to get loose on nights out, and Joe
the host sniffs out better you know, his prey like
a pig with those truffles.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, Kaylee, being prey is a little bit
like a three legged wildebeast to Allian, that's a good point. Yeah,
so it's not that she is a liability on her
our lip and she's making sounds of climactic sensation. So anyways,
everyone is ripping it up on. Nathan is in the
car talking about Joe disrespecting women women. This is a club.
We get to this club, and we've come off of
a great season of below Deck dan Under that wasn't
dan Under, where we saw them frequent feral dog pounds
and pizza trailers and a place called Foxy Jacks, which
was disgusting first night out. Not only do we go
to a club, we go to a club baked into
the ruins of coastal Croatia, and it's just like, this
is what below Deck is. We can't really see, but
what we can see is fucking and sucking and blacking out.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you pointed out fucking and sucking, Dylan. Did
you catch that joy later in the episode when she
I believe she was describing Roman culture.
Speaker 1: Right right right now. Now, It's important to note that
fucking and sucking is not a term that we made
up now, so it's out there in the ether in
the pool English language.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to say that Joy's a fan of
the bat TV.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, great, well, who isn't right? So we're
no longer at Foxy Jackson's. We're really ripping it up
when we have to go to the rental. Now, this
is what I said I feared, and we could take
a little bit of it, but we really don't need
any at all. Okay, It's like, if you know, let's
equate this the show to a nice steak. Somebody brings
over ketchup. Now, let's let's be realistic about it. The
Ketchup's not going to absolutely make this inedible, but we
still do not need ketchup for this kind of thing.
I'm getting worse at analogies. I think one a one
is better, but also no need to compare the show
to a steak, right, we can just talk. It's the pot,
and it's the it's the aging, and I think it's
the social media use. I think I'm kind of steering
towards Frank Gore territory and I'm actually terrified. I completely
just so we're we're fucking we're talking, we're rubbing, we're humping.
The lights are low, the music is loud, and then
we go to this beautiful baby and Gail and Nathan
doing this thing where he's trying to shelter Gail from
the drama but not doing a good enough job, almost
as if he's inviting the inquiry.
Speaker 2: Ah, it was a dad day. Joe was talking. Yeah,
he always talking about you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well what did he say? He said, you guys
haven't gotten along in the past. Can you believe that
fucking piece of fucking shit. I almost took his head off.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, she helps feed the fire.
Speaker 1: Though, well she does, but she doesn't really know what's
going on. So we get back to the club. Joe,
given the news of the day, what with the sad
news dale any comments, Well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, say this.
Speaker 3: I was so happy for him, given that this was
the worst day of his life, he was able to
suppress those tears and pick himself up by the boo bootstraps.
Speaker 1: And try to bang a cereal.
Speaker 3: That's right, yeah, yeah, because that's what we all do
on the worst day of our lives, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he says that the he.
Speaker 3: Whispers in Kayley's are he says, the most attractive thing
about her is her.
Speaker 2: Sense of humor. Oh, Joe, you slick, lying pieces.
Speaker 1: This is where Joe. It's like, buddy, she moaned at
the table and has the tattoo. We don't need to
volunteer these grandiose expressions of affection, like.
Speaker 5: Just to have sex with you, bro. Sorry, Bob, I
thought you said. I thought Joe the how I didn't know? Okay,
I thought you were going with Boo or I meant
to say boo bet is it bee bee bee?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Anyways, Luke is in a love triangle. As we mentioned,
he is in grave danger.
Speaker 3: Well, I want to point this out now. Some would
both of them are getting a little mad at him.
But if you really break it down, how can you
be mad at him that the both of you like him?
I understand, But what's he supposed to do. He is
in a place right now where he gets to make
rendered decision over who he likes, and it's clearly joy
I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm in next week. I think he's gonna bang Jim.
Speaker 2: And he's like, hey, by the way, how do you
feel as a girl when he's like, I'm about to
insert my penis in you, but it's actually in you, right, Yeah,
And after we do this, do me a favor. Don't
tell anybody.
Speaker 1: Don't say a fucking thing about that.
Speaker 2: Now, what's that supposed to be?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very romantic. So he's in grave danger. Jen
is horny, but he thinks that he can find love
with Joy. Now the thing is Jen is disgusted by Joy,
and Joy is disgusted by Jen. So Luke shoots his
shot at Joy when we get back to the boat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he did. And I loved her line here what
was it?
Speaker 3: It was no, No, there was something well she said
no and then walks off and says, because anything great is.
Speaker 2: Not easy to get.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 2: She knows how to play the game.
Speaker 1: Well that's not well. I mean, depending on what state
you're in, I would say a cheesy Gordida crunches is
a great thing and it's pretty easy to get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't appreciate it. After that, Now you
swear you're never going to do that again.
Speaker 1: It's a good point.
Speaker 2: No, great, it's like an ugly girl that you brought
home from a bar.
Speaker 6: Hey Dale, that ugly girl brought an ugly guy went
back with an ugly guy.
Speaker 2: I know we both thinking the same thing. We both
don't want to eat Gordidas ever again.
Speaker 1: God, you're in the middle of it. You go, hey,
can you not tell anybody about this? I don't want
people to know that I was having sex with you
while I was eating. We were both eating Gordida crunches
at the same time. We were like, let's try it.
We're wasted and hungry and horny, but those things should
be compartmentalized usually. All right, let's move on the fuck.
I feel like we're getting distracted. Kaylee goes up to
hang out with Joe, and Asia says, be careful, and
Kaylee says, don't worry. I've got this. Hey, Kaylee, you don't.
Speaker 2: She's heard it before, you do not, And Krman has
heard it before.
Speaker 1: Joe is she lob Okay, you will be twisted up
and stabbed in the stomach with some kind of paralyzing
agent that there is no cure for. Just takes time
and same wise, it's the only way you can get
out of it. Okay. Well, they say, what are you
gonna do with those movies? You're not going to show
the kids them. You're not gonna do that. What movies.
You know, the new one that's coming out is actually
about the years of Aar Garn and Gandalf going to
try to find Gollum after what.
Speaker 2: I hate those movies. They're so boring.
Speaker 1: You're not a fantasy guy.
Speaker 2: It's too much confusing talk.
Speaker 1: Too much confusing talk. Yeah, okay, guy of parsex and
parsex and we got a radiator plug and oh we're
on Tata Wien and you want to way to U
fucking talking about We're not going to discuss this right now.
It is so wrong, Kat and Cooper.
Speaker 3: Hold on, I want to get back to Kaylee and uh,
who's on her single journey right now?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Her and Joe for an hour perfect for one another because
as they're smacking lips, they both make a pact with
one another not to get serious. And I am here
to announce finally a promise made on this boat that
can be.
Speaker 1: Kept, right right, even this problem us cannot be kept though,
because the thing is Joe is going to make it emotional.
She's gonna fall for.
Speaker 5: It and feel some emotions for you, and it's it's
gonna be this like futile thing where it's like Joe,
why do you have to do that.
Speaker 1: You guys are having sex. You don't need to make
it this thing because he's gonna.
Speaker 2: Has to do it.
Speaker 1: This is what we just discovered about Joe, and it's
the most repulsive thing about Joe. Once Joe has cracked
a nut off a couple of times, it's no sorry
to be that was dale, sorry to be so vile
about it. But once he's cracked a nut off a
couple of times, it's going to be empty.
Speaker 2: He needs all of you. He's emotions too right that he's.
Speaker 1: Hard to fuck with you. So that's that's what it's
gonna be.
Speaker 2: He can only disappoint your vagina. He needs to disappoint
your brain.
Speaker 1: Right in your heart and your spirit. Kat and Cooper,
no mal intent here. These are just two golden doodles
who I think they could make a sea rat baby,
I shipped.
Speaker 2: They're perfect cut. I love when he did her braids later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who knew? Who knew? I mean, he's the sweetest
guy and she's such a sweetheart too. Let's get to
the next day. Next morning, Joe wakes calling people, Joy
wakes calling people muppets. Already, she's very French. Okay, talk
about condescending, and Kaylee continues to reassure Aisha that everything
is fine. You are not fine. You are in danger.
Nathan shows up from his Airbnb late let's call it okay,
supposed to be on deck at nine. He shows up
at nine in the wrong clothes. Okay, thanks bos and
Uh says that he needs to have a chat with
Joe and here we go again. But this actually was
a reassuring step forward for the two of them. Nathan says,
I'm sorry about the way I behaved last night. I
think you're really good on deck. Let's just move forward
now in this moment, this is where Nate goes. You
are the chief what is it called lead decand lead deckcan?
This is where you go lead deck can and we
bury it. We move on. But I'm sure they're gonna
have another dust up again, so maybe you apologize again
and then you utilize that. But anyways, they seem to
be fine. Got a meanwhile, here see you read history.
Kaylee doesn't really know what she's doing.
Speaker 2: That's not gonna stop kermit.
Speaker 1: She has no clue what's going on. She's worked in
hospitality before, but never really on a boat. Sandy has
to tell Nathan that the boat looks like shit, and
Jen continues to talk about how impressive she is. Now,
Jen's a kooky character. We like her. She's a lunatic.
She she strikes me as mass whole. She just has
like Northeast energy. Yeah, it's gonna start to get grading,
you think so, Yeah, I get in the comments. Let
us know if it's already grading.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I can't wait to talk to her. I think
she's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1: If we do. Yeah, if we do, all right, let's
do it. It's time for the pre friend shape man,
this one I remember we talk about the amnesia that
I suffer with these guests. Who could forget Johnny d
Pride of Boston turned turt coat and trade. Yeah, it
broke my heart when you played for the Yanks. Man,
I've never give a fuck what you more angry with
Johnny when we went to the Yankees. All right, have
a water fatso okay? Now, Johnny Damon makes.
Speaker 2: Me want to bring back that cannon on the boat.
Speaker 1: Was there ever a cannon? Well?
Speaker 3: I used to say, like for these dickhead guests, you
have a cannon, and then you what you do is
you chum the water for great whites, and then you
aim the cannon at it and you go, hey, Joe,
get over here, and then you throw them in it
with his head first in and then you just launch.
Speaker 2: Him near the great white sharks.
Speaker 1: Oh, head first, Yeah, so the blast hits the top
of the hat. What is the point of chumming the
water if the cannon's going to kill them instantly?
Speaker 2: Well, maybe a little part of them be left, I
don't know.
Speaker 1: Okay, So the way you do it is you flip
that around, you take their legs off, and just a
brutal manner. Then they're chummed. That's how you do Joe.
Speaker 2: If you're listening to this podcast, I'm glad.
Speaker 1: Now. Speaking of bloated drunks, Johnny Damon. He's a drunk. Okay,
he's been arrested for DWI. I think we've seen the day. Okay.
He's bringing a few people with him, a long haired
guy and a puffy dickhead named Joseph.
Speaker 2: Don't forget that old guy that keeps taking pictures of everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like him. He's creepy, okay. He has the
posture and overall vibe of a sea org kind of
security guard, like you would see him at one of
the Scientology museums, just standing there.
Speaker 2: The old guy taking pictures.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're all very thin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. You know why. Why it's amazing when
you drive by the Scientology Center, you will see what
seven million rooms. All of the lines are closed there.
You never see anyone in any of the rooms. And
it's really bizarre that that's just in our backyard in
Los Angeles, several of them. But the one on Fountain
that's the purple is just the creepiest.
Speaker 2: Place I work.
Speaker 1: We work there, we work there. There are no one there.
There's nobody sleeping in those rooms. Okay, what's happening to
the members of the kind of lowest but highest rungs
of the Church of Scientology is they are bust to
San Pedro and they are thrown in shipping containers where
they sleep with no sunlight ever and no food ever.
That's how you get docile, muldible people. You starve them
and you sleep deprive them.
Speaker 2: Caitlin, are those Scientology people some of the nicest people
you ever met. They it's to the level where it's creepy.
They're so nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, it's because of the shipping containers. Okay,
they these people want I want some great dinners. Yep,
they want a Roman themed feast and a pitch Black dinner.
We'll get to that next episode, but first.
Speaker 2: Don't forget the escape room.
Speaker 1: Cooper and Nathan bro out, and Cooper calls him a
good dad.
Speaker 3: Hey, Cooper, I love people that know nothing about a situation,
just pronouncing things.
Speaker 2: There's such a great dad.
Speaker 1: You seem like a great father. He'll based on what,
based on absolutely why. I mean, the relationship will not
whether the first year of the child's life. Now, we
talk about it. We talked about it yesterday. This is
a very difficult, tumultuous period. But you have to get
through it otherwise you're just a deadbeat. Okay, come on,
let's get to now. They're a mitigating circumstances. If you know,
let's say you have a baby with a woman. Right
you fell in love with her, she threw a drink
at your head a couple of times before you guys
got pregnant and their system, but it's not anything that
you know, deal breaking. Then you have the child and
she starts throwing knives at you. That's when you go, Okay,
I think it's done. So there are examples where if
you don't make it out of the first year doesn't
necessarily mean you're a dead.
Speaker 2: But other than that, try and work it out.
Speaker 1: Try and work it out. We get to an interior
team meeting and a s.
Speaker 2: Gives Kaylee misliability.
Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah, how could you not like it?
She's beautiful and she's moaning in front of you. She
gets the second stick.
Speaker 3: Now, as we touched upon, there is not a world
in the real world where Kermit would.
Speaker 2: Have done this.
Speaker 1: I don't think so either. Maybe Kermit really is going
off of vibes. And we've talked about it before. The
bar is so low on these boats that if you
can just have better vibes than the other person, it's
not that difficult. If you don't know how to make
a bloody Mary say got it and then go YouTube it.
That's the standard of service on these vessels, so you
can be second.
Speaker 3: Still, remember Hayley, we went out for drinks with her
and I said, how do you become such a good bartender?
Speaker 2: Set I don't. I just would make up. They'd be
so drunk, I'd just be throwing shit in a glass.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you do a milk punch, Yeah for sure. Okay,
So the guests arrive, it seems like they're nope, yep.
It seems like there's some tension brewing already, and it
seems like Joe might have already been drinking.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Joe is the definition of an obnoxious drunk.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, he's an attention vacuum.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to say say this.
Speaker 3: So I don't know how he gets along and polite society.
Speaker 2: Uh, there was.
Speaker 3: A little kerfuffle when the guests arrived. There's something about
shoes going in there. I was confused. Then I started
getting that he was actually yelling at Addie.
Speaker 2: His girlfriend's Yeah, his girlfriend, right, Aids.
Speaker 1: What would you say? I said, Aids on accident?
Speaker 2: Oh okay. And then the second I heard that.
Speaker 1: But that's a nickname that that I would figure that
you would have called her, because what Addie is a name?
A d I s Addie?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know a couple addies.
Speaker 1: We know an Addie, but not a d I S.
I thought you were going to call her Aids.
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh is that how her name spelled?
Speaker 1: No, m But it's what do you call those puzzles
where the words were all scrambled up something Graham in
the comments, and I thought you were going to call
her Aids. That's my bad, that's just a misread.
Speaker 3: So is Aids his girlfriend that then he has to
say sugar baby, his sugar baby who he has to
now pay twelve grand a month.
Speaker 1: He's been doing that, and this is Oh. I love
these moments where the sugar babies go, I'm good, Your fat, old,
annoying body is not worth a million dollars a month.
I'm gone, And that.
Speaker 2: The fat body is the least of his problems. Right,
I'm still great looking or not?
Speaker 1: You look like a hippo adorned in some kind of
Tommy Bahama.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's him, it's him that's the problem.
Speaker 1: Right. So she is at this point, she's fed up
because when you're in paradise and people are behaving badly,
that's when you go, Okay, I think we've got a
problem here. Because well adjusted people can go on vacation,
maybe be a little stressed, maybe be a little you know,
anxious because there's nothing to do. But but nobody's gonna
make nobody well adjusted is going to make vacations really
awful for people, and when you experience that kind of thing,
I think a lot of people go, uh, oh, might
have a little bit of a problem. Here we're in
Croatia and this guy sucks on a yacht. On a
yacht and this guy sucks, so she's out of there.
Speaker 3: That was a first too, That was really interesting. There's
not a lot of first that we get in a
show we've been watching for twelve years.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, even Johnny Dee, who likes the booze himself, goes, Hey, Joe,
look what we're park next to. It's a cop, So baby,
just calm it down. He goes, I'm a fucking do
anything now. Nathan tells Joe to get off the deck
while they're undocking, and this kicks off a hell of
a downhill snowball where Joe will just accrue and gather
more and more and more hatred for Nathan as the
day goes on.
Speaker 3: I want I would argue, first off, I hate Joe
with the passion of seven sons.
Speaker 1: I eight sons.
Speaker 2: I would like to kick his Oh, and it would.
Speaker 1: Be so easy. The cardiovascular strength on that, I mean
he would gas out in three seconds, I.
Speaker 2: Think, I think in under thirty seconds.
Speaker 3: I could gas on that, I could just do the
ground and pound on his fucking, big fat red face.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, lots of violence is not.
Speaker 2: There, but uh was, Oh Nate.
Speaker 1: You were daydreaming about beating the shit out of that
and then you got yeah.
Speaker 3: But I do think that Nate could have articulated moving
off the deck area a.
Speaker 1: Little bit better, much better. Nathan's a dick.
Speaker 3: Yes, Nate could have said, hey, guys, I am so sorry.
Speaker 2: I am so sorry.
Speaker 1: But but it wasn't a kind of ask that was
like a three out of ten. It was like a
six out of ten, maybe seven. It wasn't like, hey,
get out of here, we're talking. It was not anything
that anyone should throw a fit about. He went about
it with a kind of cold professionalism that didn't have enough.
Speaker 2: I could have used a little bit more buffer.
Speaker 3: Is these people, as Sandy and both Kermit had pointed out,
you get shipped on. If you're expecting to have people
kiss your ass or be polite to you on these boats,
you're in the wrong profession and.
Speaker 2: You need to suck ass.
Speaker 3: And I feel like these are the type of people
that don't get told no a lot.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing about this show. You know, when
you're usually when you're chartering a professional yacht, not a
fucking clown car. People are they're subjects. They're very reverential
to you. Anything you need they get. This show is
filled with Florida trash well, but also the vessels are
manned by runaways with a serious contempt for the wealthy.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, and they're going to act that out fair enough.
Speaker 3: But as Sandy pointed out, and I love her like
break down of this Nate, the more that you feed
this guy this shit, it's just going to escalate it.
Speaker 2: It's not helping anybody.
Speaker 3: It's what he wants, right, So my point is by
him not really sucking up to this guy, it just
makes it worse. So learn the is it the pathology
of how this fucking guy thinks right exactly?
Speaker 1: And catered to it. So Joe says, do you want
to give me some more instructions? Dickhead, I'll rip your
fucking face off. He did say that, Hey, fatty, try
it calm down. So he starts to talk about how
rich he is and Addie, how Addie should want to
be around him, regardless of his annoying personality and drinking problem, and.
Speaker 2: He's also, to quote him, still a great looking guy.
Speaker 1: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So Addie
and Joe continue to feud, and she wants to leave
the boat. She wants to leave immediately, and Joy picks
up on this very very quickly. I was thinking that
Addie should maybe chill out a little bit, because you're
on a paid vacation and it's going to be fun.
You signed up for this kind of thing, just weather
the storm. No, this was not an ultimatum, Addie went,
I'm actually full blown done.
Speaker 3: I believe she was kind of saying by she jump off,
I think she was saying, I'd rather.
Speaker 1: Drown get me a boat now, because I'm braving the
waters by myself, then be on this boat with this
guy right exactly, So Johnny Dee gets it. Not everyone
has what he and Michelle have, and what they have
is a Jerry Springer fever dream of a marriage. We've
seen the tape again, the Body Kim footage. She comes
out and essentially is close to swinging at cops to
protect her husband. So, yes, they do have a Bonnie
and Clyde kind of love that is beautiful lunch's gonna
be a tune in mango tashimi with the Greeks out
and a little bit of lamb, and Joe starts to
talk about himself, how much money he has and how
much he's paying her at the lunch table, to the
point where the other guests go, will you shut the
fuck up? Or trying to enjoy our lunch? He's not
doing a good job.
Speaker 2: Can I say something?
Speaker 3: I tolerate a lot of obnoxious people, and I will
almost always just nod my head get through it, because
you know, I'm meeting a lot of new people these days,
and there are some douchebags. I will say at this lunch,
I think I probably would have said, I need you
to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: I can't take this anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or at least talk to Johnny and go, you
gotta get him to shut the fuck.
Speaker 2: Up, right, And I don't think he'd be able to
do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think so either. He's a little bit
like Juggernaut, you know the X Men Juggernaut. Oh yeah, yeah,
but with like being annoying, fat drunk guy.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: The helmet's too strong. There's too much moment. Now, Jen
needs to get her mind off of the second stew
stepping over, so her solution is to go after Luke.
Here's the problem. You and Kayley were battling for the
stripes you enjoy, are battling for the hulking you know,
Iowan or whatever the fuck you want to try to
distract yourself with things that you're not in competition for.
And I feel like Jen is going to be in
a very dark place in a couple of eples.
Speaker 2: What should she do? Dylan fucking finger paint? There's nothing
to do.
Speaker 1: Say, I'm I'm done with this boat. If I don't
get second stew or fill out a Sudoku or finger paint,
I don't know.
Speaker 2: But by the way this was, we passed by this quickly.
She already started engaging in shit talking.
Speaker 1: She's been doing that the whole time, I know.
Speaker 3: But she did it with her her roommate k where
she basically said something along the lines of you, Kaylee
got the job because she's a suck up, which is
not true.
Speaker 1: Well, it's kind of true. She's she got the job
because she's really good at the game of Wars.
Speaker 2: Good point. I don't think that's sucking up. That's good
at the game of wars, all.
Speaker 1: Right, So Joe is not having a great day. He
tries to get on the jets his his sugar baby
has left the boat and now he's trying to get
on the jet ski and Joe goes, hey, how many
drinks have you had? And he goes on and Joe,
who's fine to have people have a good time, goes, ye,
how many drinks has the fat one had? And they say, oh,
he's had seven since he's been here. He had ten
before he got here.
Speaker 2: So I would have put him.
Speaker 1: On the jetski.
Speaker 3: I would have locked the steering wheel, and I would
have just set him straight with the steering wheel locked
towards another yacht.
Speaker 2: He's just watched the party.
Speaker 1: Just this is what we should have done. Give him
a blade, right, give him a knife, kitchen knife, sword,
something like that. Tell him it's a Croatian tradition to uh,
you know, kind of seahorse around the waters with an
open weapon, and just see what happens.
Speaker 2: Here that I just see if mister Wonderful's wife is
driving a boat nearby.
Speaker 1: Who's that are you're talking about?
Speaker 2: Kevin O'Leary, Yeah, his wife ran over someone.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, God, I wish an asteroid would just
hit him.
Speaker 2: Oh you don't like mister Wonderful?
Speaker 1: No, come on, you cockroach, No I don't.
Speaker 2: I'll crush you like the cockroach you are.
Speaker 1: No, I don't like mister Wonderful. Mister mister two watches
and data centers in Utah, I'm not a big fan of.
Speaker 2: Gotta put him somewhere, don't you. What do you want
him on the fucking moon?
Speaker 1: Are you being mister Wonderful right now? Yeah?
Speaker 2: You're a cockroach that I'll crush you.
Speaker 1: All right, I'll tell you what. Let's put the data
center in North Hollywood.
Speaker 2: Uh, better than what I'm looking at. Fine, what's gonna do?
Speaker 1: What I might? No, No, that's the thing. It's not, it's not.
Speaker 2: What's it gonna do? Hurt my brain?
Speaker 1: Yeah, hurt your brain, your organs, lots of stuff. You're
well being, just generally, all right, So.
Speaker 2: Put him on Epstein's Island.
Speaker 1: That's what That's what I've been saying, Go to Saint
John or Little Saint John.
Speaker 3: And yeah, but then the Coastal Commission will say it's
gonna hurt the plankton.
Speaker 1: You're a big data center guy, you know, what they do. Okay,
so then maybe pump the brakes. You're gonna have some
angry fans, all right. So he is told that he
cannot ride the jet ski and he goes, I mean,
I don't know what the fuck I'm even fucking though
it here if I can't even fucking have a drink.
I mean, I'm completely fine. I can jump off the
second story in the ball but I can't ride a
fucking jet ski.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: This guy is someone who doesn't like to hear no,
and it angers him more and more.
Speaker 2: And to think that this guy all day long is.
Speaker 3: Just seething seeing at Nate till he'll stay up, well,
everyone else goes to bed, and after he finished his
phone call with his lawyer, who in some kind of
fear and loathing relationship with his attorney, Yeah, who hires Croatian.
Speaker 2: Prostitutes for him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll wait until he's alone with Nathan to then
corner him.
Speaker 1: That is one of the what happened to Joe is
Joe got Joe lost a fight in the third grade
was made fun of that little boy is he'd just
been running the roost ever since, and he's just a
tiny little ego maniac and it's kind of sad to see.
But Nathan tells him he can't do it, and Nathan
is his number one enemy. Now, Joy says, what's going
on because at this point it's going around the boat
that this guy's creating some serious problems, and Joy goes
is the one that fired his girlfriend. I just love
the way that she framed that. Sandy goes down to
mediate the situation and she says, I can't have you
being disrespectful of my crew. She's very calm about it,
and Joe says, fine, I get it. She goes up
to Nathan. This is where I was talking about the
familiarity with your boss that doesn't exist, and you need
to keep your mouth shut. Nathan goes, I was gonna
fucking beat his ass, Nathan, and Sandy goes, oh, wow,
so that's not appropriate in any way shape No, I know,
I know, but I was gonna fucking like I was
gonna fucking let him fuck.
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, Nate, Remember we had Bravo con and we
were having drinks and we were all saying we love
being on TV and it was all cool, and you
were hanging out with me and my wife and we
said we're gonna be friends forever. Yeah, fuck that shit
in this scenario, I'm your boss.
Speaker 2: Okay, So get in line, bitch.
Speaker 1: What what was what Chris Tucker fucking Captain Sandy? Was
that that was her?
Speaker 2: Like, this is TV and you're playing a part here.
Speaker 1: You're in a professional environment, you lunatic. You're serving people.
You can't threaten to beat the shit or cuss people
out or choke people out. It's not cool. Your fake
hair is getting to you.
Speaker 2: He did get fake hair.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, looks good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank You're welcome.
Speaker 1: Patrick. I don't think I don't know that it was you.
Speaker 2: You don't think me razzing him for two seasons about
that fucking I.
Speaker 1: Don't know if it was razzing. Rasing implies a levity.
You said it's crazy. When the camera's tucked back in
the corner, you can see how disgusting at the top
of his head is, which I guess is rasing, But okay, whatever.
Luke gets a note from Jen and then gets a
kiss on the hand from Joy. This guy is screwed.
He he is a little bit like a different kind
of Luke, the one the son of the Force balancer.
Oh Luke Skywalker what Luke is going through. He's a
little bit like Luke in the garbage compactor.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: One wall is Joy, the other wall. This is another
great analogy from the wall is Jen. Okay, And I
don't know what the little snake swimming around is.
Speaker 3: He went away, he went away. Yeah, you hear the
garage door open. They let him out when they're about
to compact all the garbage. What do you mean if
you listen to the sound designed by Bert whatever is?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bert packerack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they let the little snake eye go out. I
don't even know what his purpose was.
Speaker 1: In that, just to spook.
Speaker 2: Okay, I think, Justice, where are you going with this?
Speaker 1: Though? I was saying, that's what's happening. Oh you got it? Okay.
So Caylen, how many pots would you give that analogy?
I think you okay? Great, all right, great, okay. So
we braid some hair and then we get to decorating
the Roman feast. Now at this point, Joe is black
now and he is ready for some food. Okay. Now,
Joy knows that the Romans ate a lot and that
they sucked and fucked. They certainly did.
Speaker 3: When she comes on the show, Dylan, how dare you.
I will ask her, was that a wink and a
nod to this podcast to honor us for our hard
work over the last decade.
Speaker 1: Let's find out. But she is correct. There were many emperors,
many caesars that started to tire of the usual vaginal
canal and started having sex with boys, men, lions, robots.
Speaker 2: Why just say sucking fuck? They also killed it dinner.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they definitely did.
Speaker 2: Sucking, fucking killing, milking.
Speaker 1: Now she's got it down that they were an exuberant
kind of culture. Well, the wealthy people were. You know,
I was listening to a podcast in the Roman Empire
and this guy said, you know, it's it's interesting to
remember that ninety five percent of Roman history is just
farmers that didn't do anything. They just lived and died.
You know, it's really beautiful. That's really really beautiful, because
you know, there's there's something beautiful about the ordinary life.
You know, there are most most people weren't wrapped up
in the politics of the Senate. They were just milking
cows and then dying. You know, Well, that's what i'd
want to do, That's what I would find.
Speaker 2: Who wants to look behind their back every day?
Speaker 1: Yeah, who wants to go you too? It's like who
wants to get stabbed by their best friend and go?
WHOA mean? No, I'd rather just you know, cut wheat. Anyways,
we've been going on way too long. We got to
wrap the show up. Oh Jesus Christ, I know it's crazy,
such a long episode. Okay, So she's right that they
weren't exuberant people, but she is not right about the menu,
which we do not see. And I would have really
relished the opportunity to shop on it because we've got
stuffed peppers, We've we've got a French onion soup or
something like that. There were a lot of French things,
and yeah, it was very confusing the menu.
Speaker 2: For you don't think Roman stuffed peppers.
Speaker 1: They might have stuffed peppers. I think the Romans pretty
much just you know. They they had figs and bread
and fish. And I think I saw a video kaelin
calm down, man, I think I saw a video. He
I think I saw a video one time where the
catch up of the Roman day was a essentially a
fish sauce. So you just ferment and wrought a ton
of fish and then you just squeeze out the bile
and the juice that that kind of nuts out, and
then you put that on the things you eat. So
I'm glad that you went with ratatui instead of that.
All right, So, oh Joe is wasted. He talks about coming,
he talks about the chef not getting a ten out
of ten, which Sandy's not gonna stand it for.
Speaker 2: It's a ten out of ten for me.
Speaker 1: It's a ten out of ten for me.
Speaker 2: Now, no one gets a ten.
Speaker 1: Nobody gets a ten. She's a nine out of ten.
She's a ten out of ten for me though.
Speaker 2: No, no nine.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's go to bed. The one thing I do
want to mention with dinner is Joy's stark contrast to Ben.
So Joy's going to prepare some kind of whole fish,
be it a brands you know whatnot roasted with the
vegetable sides. It will be accompanied by a beautiful dish,
a simple dish. She's going to be fileting this table
side one fish. Her knives her presentation, not Ben, who
said to Daisy and Joao in Togas, go do this
nine times in front of everyone. Okay, So I can't
give this a pot rating because we didn't see the dinner,
so we have a lot a hot little thing. After
the meal, Joseph plays some metal next to Captain Sandy's room,
just to piss Nathan off, and Nathan goes, dude, please,
you can't play fucking you can't play stained right next
to the fucking captain's room. Please go away, and he does.
He calls his fixer and he goes, hey, I need
a sex worker to get out to this this boat.
She says she's working, but I can quadruple her money,
so just give her twenty grand and get her out here.
And that's when he tells his bro, his lawyer, his uh,
I don't know Michael Clayton kind of guy. I fucking
can't stand this guy they got working here. And guess what,
he's the only one up. So I'm gonna go up
there and I'm gonna tell him how I feel. He
sits down. He says, hey, I don't like you. I
think you're a fucking piece of shit and I think
you've been really fucking disrespectful to me the entire time.
And Nathan goes, oh my god. And that's how we
end the episode.
Speaker 3: I like how in the trailer they don't bother show,
Nathan Yeah, like yeah, like he punched up right.
Speaker 1: He punched in the face. It's gonna all gonna work out.
We see Joe the next night for dinner, so we
know that it goes okay, but we'll find out next
week what exactly happens. Go to Patreon dot com Slash
another podcast network for Summer House and Rhode Island, will
be starting in the city there soon. I think lots
of fun stuff there. Donate a little, a little bit more,
getting the comments, getting the reviews, five stars, kind words,
we love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.
Speaker 7: Pat's sagodbye later dudes, resting nothing
Speaker 1: Sp