Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. I'm Chris, and I died a
while punishment. What it's my turn? Okay, good morning from Hell. Dayton,
All right, go ahead, Chris, you can do your thing.
Speaker 2: I forgot. The rest of it.
Speaker 1: I forgot, and my eternal punishment is to do this
podcast for all eternity. Yep, where we interview everyone in Hell, every.
Speaker 3: Single one of them.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 3: I'm Clayton, the more popular of the duo.
Speaker 2: Uh, founder of this podcast, shot up, Chris, brother of Satan.
But you know I have other more important, prestigious titles.
Go ahead, Chris, let's off all my accolades, go ahead. Uh, Clayton, yep,
that's my name. That's not an accolade.
Speaker 1: That's my name, former vice president of Hell.
Speaker 3: No, I didn't I didn't quite make the cut.
Speaker 1: Third place in this Saturday Morning Billard's Contest.
Speaker 2: That's enough of that, Chris, that's enough of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I give you the opportunity to curry my favor.
Which can we talk about currying favor? Because I've always
just assumed that that was your giving someone the delicious
South Asian dish curry.
Speaker 1: Have there been situations in which you have just given
people curry for centuries.
Speaker 2: I thought currying favor meant you you gave someone curry
in order to win their heart.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Anyways, a lot of brown stains later, it didn't
work out.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I starting to understand why you didn't win
that election.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, whoa, it's your funny man, it's your
funny guy. You're the one that's in hell. You're working
for me, you see, what's what's what is this week?
Speaker 3: Oh wait, whoa?
Speaker 2: We're like a week out from Thanksgiving? Chris, Yeah, how
do you feel about that? It's always a sad time.
It's always a sad time, like in general, like it
always has been. Or is it because you're in Hell?
Speaker 1: Oh geez, that's actually a good question.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3: This is a podcast is where we ask questions.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I would say it's worse than hell because I hope. So,
you know, Thanksgiving can always be kind of hit or miss,
depending upon how the dynamic is with family. If you
get to like arguing politics or anything like that, it's
not as much fun. But in Hell it's never fun.
Speaker 2: No, never. Yeah, I mean, actually, you know, if you
could give us like a peek behind the the DeMar's curtain.
You know, what kind of foods were you eating? What
kind of foods you're eating now, it's a lot of that.
Speaker 1: You know, Thanksgiving dinner from Whole Foods. Yeah, that's like
pre made uh huh, it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Would you say that your current meal selection for Thanksgiving
in Hell is better or worse than what you were
eating before you went to the Whole Foods? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean most of the time we'll go to
your mom's house, Lucy for and there's a turkey. But
a lot of times it's just you know how like
you stuffed the turkey. It's just eating the turkey's butthole.
So it's kind of like eating turkey butt. Yeah, but
it's not like stuffing. It's just stuffed with it's just
the shit of the turkey. It's just like, that's what
I eat at the kid's table. Actually, Chris, that was
that was my curry. That was the curry that I
used to curry favor with. But I'm glad to know
that you think it's shit.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 2: That's great to know that my cooking is that bad.
I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, since you know we're talking about roasting turkeys over
and open flame? What if we roasted someone from our hatreon?
Speaker 2: That's a great segue, Chris, that's a great segue.
Speaker 3: Okay, let me pull up ours of bread.
Speaker 2: So, just as a reminder, if you follow us on Patreon,
which you can go to at good Morning from hell
dot com, you can sign up and you can say, hey,
I want to be roasted to ay make fun of me.
Ah and I Also, just just so that we're all clear,
I have several steps where it's like, are you sure
you want to get roasted? Are you sure you're not
gonna cry and piss your pants because we're bullying you?
Are you sure that I'm not gonna get some sort
of lawsuit or whatever? And you know, for the most part,
everybody's like, yeah, yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, the lawsuit is an important part. That's
why everything's allegedly, yes.
Speaker 2: Exactly allegedly. All right. This week, we have someone that
goes by the name Orange. What okay? Orange is a
retired athlete that found games and never went back. Been
enjoying Hell's and Everyone podcast since it began, and I'm
excited to see where you all go after the war.
Speaker 1: Does Orange speak in the third person.
Speaker 3: To be honest, I read that kind of fucked up.
I don't know if I can.
Speaker 2: I'm not fully committing to speaking in their voice, but
I'm also not fully committing to the third person.
Speaker 3: So that's on me. I'm going to take that roast. Chriss,
I'm going to take that bullet for Orange.
Speaker 2: I will point out though they're very vague about what
kind of athletics they participated in, and the fact that
they said, oh, I found video games and I never
went back, I'm calling bullshit. I don't think they were
an athlete, and if they were an athlete, it was
probably some obscure sport like quidditch or whatever that fucking
dumb sport thing is.
Speaker 1: I was an athlete, Oh yeah, well tell me about that.
I played t ball, So I'm just as qualified as Orange.
Speaker 2: I mean, they didn't specify if they were a professional athlete,
if they were like minor league.
Speaker 3: If they were athlete, I'm.
Speaker 2: Just gonna imagine that they were one of those kids
that run around in a football field with a broom
shoved halfway up their ass and then they're tracing around
some balls, you know. Anyways, their hobbies include being a
systems engineer, dungeon master, a cosplay personal assistant, and writer. Yeah,
you're definitely not an athlete. I'm sorry you are. I'm
so so full of shit.
Speaker 1: Every bit more of information we get about or only
confirms the obvious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that they are not an athlete. Uh, what do
you think the cosplay as?
Speaker 5: Wait?
Speaker 2: Okay, hold on, it's an athlete, that's what they Yeah,
they cost say costplay personal assistant. I assumed that they
were cosplayer com a personal assistant. You know, they just
say that they're a personal assistant. I'm assuming for a costplayer,
what is that? There's a lot of the mystery to
this this century. They also say that they're a writer. Again,
didn't specify. I'm just assuming that they write whatever the
fuck this is, and it's not very good, So they're
a bad writer. Okay, onto a personal confession story. For
my sixteenth birthday party, my parents did a scavenger hunt
where I had to do random tasks and puzzles to
get presents. One of the tasks was to call an
unknown number the teenage daughter of my dad's co worker
and read through instructions on a piece of paper. I
was given the instructions was how to use a tampon.
This was done in front of all my friends, girlfriend
and parents of my friends. My dad loves this story
and tells it all the time. Wow, sounds like your
parents hate you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It sounds like for the sixteen birthday, your parents gave
you a sexual harassment.
Speaker 3: So wow, great, your parents really enjoyed you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm surprised that they didn't give them instructions on how
to use a condom because they were thinking retrospectively. Wow,
I wish we had used one so that we didn't
have Orange. Okay, all right, that's enough of that. Thank
you Orange for being a patriot. I hope that that
was a sufficient scorching.
Speaker 1: It really means a lot that we can make fun
of you with your support.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, with your consent legally, not allegedly allegedly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, now that we're done with business, let's get down
to business. Who are we having on this week?
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I'm glad that you bring up business business
because Chris, you are our store manager.
Speaker 1: Yes, store dot Good morning from hell dot com. All
a good merch?
Speaker 2: Is there?
Speaker 3: All that merch that is good? Question mark?
Speaker 2: This is kind of an employee review on this before,
on past episodes, but we're doing it.
Speaker 3: Again because yeah, you've been doing a terrible job. You're
fucking terrible at your job.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, No, don't be proud that fucking smile off
your face.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, But that's how hell is. It's like
everything's in reverse. It's like, oh yeah, except.
Speaker 2: For when you're actually running an actual business that people
can actually find on Spotify and an actual store that
they can actually go to at store dot Good morning
from hell dot com. That's not a joke.
Speaker 3: We need to do better.
Speaker 2: You're doing terrible.
Speaker 3: Okay, you feeling me?
Speaker 2: Okay? You launched a red shirt line that was actually pink.
That was your first fuck up. That was early on.
Several pinks, several, so many pinks available. Oh I'm so
glad you got all those shades of pink. It's still
fucking pink, it's not red. Oh we're a new business.
We relaunched. Our store is back, and I say, Chris,
go make me a six six six shirt.
Speaker 3: What did you do, Chris? What did you make us?
Speaker 1: It's a six six six shirt from some perspectives.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a great way of putting that, because
you actually had the shirt printed upside down. It says
nine to ninety nine. It has our logo also upside down,
So the only person that can actually read it is
the fucking idiot wearing the shirt because they agreed to
buy the stupid fucking shirt because you fucked up, Chris,
You fucked up bad, Chris bad.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Chris is terrible at his job. So this week I
am bringing on the inventor of black Friday. Come on
in here.
Speaker 5: Oh, thank you for having me. That's so lovely to
be on a podcast here.
Speaker 3: It's so lovely to have a professional that knows what
they're doing.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I've been doing this a long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Black Friday's been around for a bit.
I mean it's it's been a global phenomenon.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh, global phenomenon. We're working our way into black
Friday on a Thursday. People are having black Fridays every
day of the week because Black Friday is such a hit,
and also because it's not based on the day, it's
based on my name. I'm Kurt Friday.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it's not even about Friday.
Speaker 5: So when I was coming up early on in my
health career, you know, there was black Monday. There was
the Black plague, what you know, the Black plague from
the Middle Ages itself, all the millions of people die
and half of Europe just created. Yeah, And I told
my wife Edna, oh, man, I wish I had one
of those disasters with you know, black in front. And
I said, I'll never be as big as the Black Plague.
And Edna said, don't you give up on yourself, Kurt Wow?
And I said, well, what if we just overcharged for
things one day of the year and then we pretended
like it was a sale. And she said, that's it,
take that straight to Satan.
Speaker 1: Does that share your last name, Edna Friday?
Speaker 5: Yes. We were married and in eleven thirty seven, a
you know, the year.
Speaker 3: From the Black Plague.
Speaker 5: Like you're like, oh yeah. In that era, there weren't
a lot of opportunities for for us common folks. So
we were both ship tasters. Yeah, we tasted the soil
and made sure the soil was good for the crystal.
That was a respectable vocation at that time. I looked
at her with a mouthful of pool and I thought
to myself, that is the woman I want to marry.
She had a touch of leprosy at the time.
Speaker 1: Just touch, that's how you get it.
Speaker 5: Though, after I picked up her nose, I said, that
was the most beautiful nose I've ever seen. Wow, said,
what a lovely woman.
Speaker 1: That's the one for me.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
Speaker 5: So she's the one that made me get into retail.
She said, you're so good at with the ship, why
not sell some shit?
Speaker 2: H that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: So you invented black Friday? Is that what you were
asked with?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 5: For a one nine hundred years or so, I was
in charge of just when older men, when they're peeing
at the urinal, they zip up their clothes and then
a little bit more pea comes out. Yeah, that's a
job making sure a little bit more pea comes.
Speaker 2: Out a respectable position. That's a good job. You know.
Speaker 5: I was happy doing that. I was happy being in
charge of that, just squeezing the prostate a little bit
so the little bit of pea comes out. And I
was doing that for about nine hundred years. Yeah, And
I told that I got to be doing something more
with my life, and she said, well, you're in hell.
You know, you have your whole after life in front
of you. No reason to be upset about it. So
the next day I went into the front office. I said, Satan,
I'd like to do more. He said, why do you
want to do more? You're already doing so well with
the squeezing the pace. I said, give me some time
to think about it, because I want to have my
own I want to make my mark on the world.
I want to make my black play.
Speaker 2: Yeah, not just mark in someone's pants. You want to
make your mark on the world.
Speaker 5: I know, because the marks that I was making was
just that little tiny circle piss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, Krystal's what you're talking about. Yeah, he's got
them all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, yeah,
sometimes we play catch with my prostates.
Speaker 5: Oh that's well, you better make that a clean catcher
else it's going to be spraying in the face.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we know, we know.
Speaker 5: So yeah, I thought, well, people are shopping these days,
so why not do something around shopping? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Who did you talk to, like, how do you go
about starting Black Friday?
Speaker 5: Well, you know how it's harder to get things done
on Earth when you're up in Hell. So I said, hey,
is there anybody that would be so discontent in their
life on Earth that they'd be willing to help out
hell a little bit. And then they said, sure retail
workers in big box stores.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So we just sort of sent the memo out
to everyone. Hey, how about we do this right after
Thanksgiving so that people, you know, they're talking about how
thankful they are, and then we can remind them that
actually they're not. But like, because I had been looking
for a reason to cause a stampede that wasn't a
natural disaster or anything like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I.
Speaker 5: Thought, wouldn't it be neat if we could cause a
stampede inside just because people wanted the same seven to
twenty p TV?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Man, that's that's brilliant. You know, you're really Capitalism
is already evil. You know, money's the root of all
evil and all that.
Speaker 5: Well, I don't think so. I think money is just fine,
especially if it causes hatred within people.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, So I mean, but what's your name against?
Its Kurt Friday? Chris Kurt? I mean, were you always evil?
Speaker 5: I am not evil. I'm just somebody that loves people shopping.
I love people getting upset, I love people getting trampled.
I love people fighting over meaningless good I'm a good person.
Speaker 2: And if that's evil, then you know, call me Vladimir Putin,
you know.
Speaker 1: Well, but yeah, I mean you are in hell. You
are like a demon, so yeah, you are evil?
Speaker 2: Like right, yeah, Well.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it's like, are you intentionally trying to just.
Speaker 5: Cau the hell? Would you call yourself evil? No?
Speaker 3: Turns, Chris, Let's talk about.
Speaker 5: You podcast around it? Maybe you need to be kidding
some some self love in this, Like, I'm proud of
what I do. You do the world of service without me.
Without me, people wouldn't be leaving their stupid Thanksgiving dinners
to go and get ten percent off on a ninja blender.
Speaker 1: Right, well, look, I'm proud of what I do too.
What would the world be without podcasting? Okay?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean that is a question like what would
the world be without three guys just improvising comedy bits
and laughing at themselves? Oh yeah, we need one more
of those. You probably you're saying that I'm evil. And
the fact that you have been able to fleece people
out of the harder money to support this work, well,
it shows that there's hope.
Speaker 1: For you to consider it fleecing. And I don't exactly
know what that means. But I don't consider it, Chris.
Speaker 2: We got to call it for what it is. You
We were absolutely robbing and scamming people.
Speaker 1: No, no, we're.
Speaker 5: Just biding a service. Well, you're talking at people, Christ
with things that you don't even prepare. You don't even
remember the names of the guests.
Speaker 2: That'll get caught during the vaccine rollout during the pandemic,
they were vaccinating the frontline comedians and podcasters. Okay, we're
not exactly an essential service. So Kurt's onto a couple
of things. Let's be real.
Speaker 1: Well, at least no one is dying.
Speaker 5: People are gonna die all the time, right, So why
not in the place that they love, going after a
video game console that they love? Well, that's what a
good person does.
Speaker 1: That is because do you think no one wants to
die at a department store buying some crappy merch?
Speaker 3: What do you have for proof? How do you know that, Chris?
Speaker 1: That's not kidding one second.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know where Chris ran off to you.
But while we're already in the spirit of savings and sales, hey,
let's talk about a word from our sponsor this week.
Gets hero Forge that's right. Hero Forces is tenth anniversary
sales happening right now and it's running through the month
of November, and you can celebrate ten years of custom
character creation by creating your own customizable tabletop miniature over
at hero Fords. Hero forg has dozens of fantasy species
and thousands of parts to choose from, all within your
web browser. They're incredible. I made a little Clayton statue.
It's me.
Speaker 5: He's so cute.
Speaker 2: He's read like a little devil and demon, and he's
also holding up a series of weapons that are very
lethal and very cool. During the sale, you can save
up to twenty percent on physical miniatures, and you can
also save up to fifty percent on digital miniatures and
scl files, So in case you don't already know, sel
digital downloads are perfect for the three D printer enthusiasts
looking to print their own physical minis in the comfort
of their own homes. If you don't want to leave
to go to your mailbox to pick up an awesome
miniature that they send to you. Hero Force is constantly
expanding its catalog of customization options, from adding new parts
every week to major features like new species and custom posings. Ah,
that's pretty cool. You can add custom colors, patterns, decals,
and then prepare for adventure once your box arrives. The
color plastic miniatures are printed using color photo polymers. That's
a big word that I just learned, meaning no paintbrush
is required to bring your character to life. That's right.
These guys are a beautiful, environmentt and amazing. We love
hero Forge, so visit hero forge dot com during their
tenth anniversary sale to save up to twenty percent on
physical miniatures and up to fifty percent on digital miniatures
and scl files. Sale in November thirtieth. Recictions apply c
side for details. Thank you hero Forts for sponsoring us
this week. We also wanted to shout out another podcast
that you should absolutely check out.
Speaker 3: It's the Cult Podcast.
Speaker 2: Join Page Wesley and our Monotaires every Monday to hear
all about a new group of fanatics and they're insane leaders.
These goofy jokes and horrifying subjects are a great way
to remember don't drink the kool aid. We got a
lot of friends of the show on Cult podcasts. I'm
not talking about Paige Wesley and Armando Torres. Fuck those guys.
I'm talking about Charles Manson. Uh, Heaven's Gate sound familiar,
maybe the Bethel Church and all sorts of fun people
that are actually horrifying cult leaders. And you can hear
about their terrifying stories but from a comedic gangle, because
Page and Hermano, despite their best efforts, are very funny.
So you should go check them out to very well researched,
very well produced show comes out every Monday. You can
find it where every Fine podcasts, and you can also
go to their web page. It's called podcastshow dot com.
So thank you Cold Podcast and thank you hero Forge. Okay,
all right, Chris is back.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, I'd like y'all to meet what
was your name again?
Speaker 4: Oh my name is chit chit Ohio, chit Ohio, Ohio.
Speaker 1: Oh you bet you okay, chit Ohio. Tell them your story.
Speaker 4: Oh my story. Oh it's a real horror story. Are
you sure you're ready to hear it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, we're a podcast we gotta fill.
Speaker 4: Oh lordy LORDI I went out. Oh, I want to
say a couple at least four or five years ago.
I went out, and here's the thing. My intention was
to get a good deal on a black Friday. So
I went out on a Tuesday. That's the name. I
got there on a Tuesday. I was the thirteenth person
in line. Lucky number thirteen, I said, And so I said,
this should be good for me. So I, you know,
I held out. I held my urine, and I waited
a couple of days. Oh, I missed dinner with my family. Yeah,
got heard a word from my mother about that one.
I'll tell you that much. But I missed. I missed
the stuffing. I missed the turkey, I missed the potatoes.
I missed the cranberry sauces. Yeah, I missed thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I missed important time with your family.
Speaker 4: Yeah. What was I talking about?
Speaker 2: Friday?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: Right, like Friday. So I'm waiting in the line. You
know what the temperature was? You know what it came
to that Thursday day night.
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't place your accent, but I'm imagining
you was up north, so probably cold.
Speaker 4: Oh no, this was in Venezuela. Oh okay, yeah, so
it was nice actually, okay, pretty good sleep. It was
a pretty good sleep. But then so here here we come,
and now I see the employees. They're going into the
door because they say they're going to open at two
am Black Friday early. So when they see them milling
about inside of the best Buy, we all perk up,
the first twenty of us when we say okay, here
we go, game time. And so we're lined up. Let
me tell you this much. It's chaos right away. And
there must have been yeah, there must have been at
least twenty five hundred people behind me. Wow, twenty five
hundred people, ridiculous.
Speaker 3: All shuffling into that Venezuelan best Buy.
Speaker 4: Can you imagine it. It's like a Chapel Rowan concert,
just rushing in on you. And I'm at the front, mom,
at the peak of the whole line there, and I'm
so I'm rushing in. Someone steps on my ankle. Okay, oh,
I'm in the TV aisle and I go down like
a sack of potatoes. Oh did I mention I didn't
get to have any of the potatoes the night before either? Yeah,
you didn't mention that you did, so I didn't have
any of the potatoes. So I go down like a
sack of potatoes and I'm screaming help, help, which is
are you daughter? Are you daughter? In Venezuela. Right, yeah, yeah.
So I'm screaming for help and no one's helping me.
They're stomping me. I'm getting boots in my face. I
got my orbital sucket crushed. I got my ankle shattered
to a thousand pieces. He always like getting broken upon
the wheel. You know, they took out every one of
my joints. I'm just a hideous blob on the ground
of this Best Buy, bleeding in every single hole. It's disgusting.
It's a night living nightmare.
Speaker 1: Did anyone stop even help?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 4: I started screaming for a manager. Uh huh, I said,
help best Buy manager. He comes by, spitz in my eye.
Oh wow, he said, don't you know what's happening right now?
It's Black Friday. We don't have time to help on
Black Friday, we only have time for deals. And so
I'm lying there a big, hideous mess. I could feel
the life draining out of my body. Everything broken, but
still aware. The brain. The brain was strong, so I
was still aware. You know, tough skull, well not no,
the skull was shattered to a thousand bits. But I
was conscious of the pain. Oh, it's conscious of the pain. Okay,
and so there I am as I'm dying, life dripping
out of my body. What do I see through my
broken eyes?
Speaker 1: Your family?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: Hidden beneath the bottom shelf, A forty seven inch plasma
that no one noticed.
Speaker 5: WHOA.
Speaker 4: And so with my broken fingers, I reach out and
I get my hands around it, and I pull it
towards me. And you know what I see? What shaid
a Black Friday Rebate. I could get this forty seven
inch plasma for only seventy nine to ninety nine retail
four hundred and ninety nine dollars.
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I hold it tight as I slowly pass away,
And you know what I'm thinking my final thoughts.
Speaker 1: Family, I don't know, family, And how how tragic it
is that you died this way?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: No, no, it's the TV. It's the TV. And how
worth it this all was? No? Wow?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's chet. That was a harrowing story. But you
just proved our poets my case.
Speaker 4: Best night of my life.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I read my cave. But you know, like just
asking you what was the resolution of that TV? Oh?
Speaker 4: It was probably seven twenty I think seven twenty P
seven twenty's HD, not full HD, but HD nonetheless.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like what about your family?
Speaker 4: Oh, family comes and goes, but Black Friday, y, it
only happened once per year.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's right man.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, imagine the garage. You could have stuck that forty
inch in screen.
Speaker 4: Oh I can, I can see it. I can see
it when I close my shattered eyelids. Yeah, ripped to shreds.
Speaker 2: No, you still kept your form. You still look like
the way you came in. Sure you'd been broken. Yeah,
but my god, you got that TV right there, don't you. Chet?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: I brought it with me, you bet you. They say
you can't take it with you, but I'd argue you can.
If you get it on Black Friday, you can.
Speaker 3: Incredible story, Chet, incredible incredible Chet.
Speaker 5: Kurt Friday, the inventor of Black Friday. And I just
wanted to say, you are the reason I do what
I do.
Speaker 4: Oh, Kurt, that means so much of.
Speaker 5: You for your support. I was watching your funeral and
I watched them slide that seven forty eight inch or
into your casket as they buried you. Yep, And I
just wanted to say it, I you make everything worth it.
Speaker 4: Well, I you.
Speaker 5: Know, I've a lot of people have been trampled for
the do in the history of Black Friday. But your
trampling just brought a little tear to my eye because
I was like, that's why I do it. Well, that's
why I do it.
Speaker 4: Can I just say I thank you to YouTube, because
there's no way I would have been able to afford
that casket if I hadn't saved so much on the TV.
They would have just rolled me right into the ditch,
that's for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know they say don't meet your heroes, but
look at this, this beautiful moment. Chris, thank you for this.
I don't know what your intent was.
Speaker 5: Got a great casket and a great deal longa zen
it it was.
Speaker 2: The brand incredible Zi good brand good brand sponsored. But wow,
way to go, Chris. This is beautiful.
Speaker 4: Thanks thanks, oh thank you for letting me shear my story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeh know, really helped my point.
Speaker 4: Yep, And I can't wait for the next one.
Speaker 2: It's you know, it's in two It's in like a
week and a half, so you better start going lining up.
Speaker 1: Chit.
Speaker 4: Okay, oh, I got my launchair ready to go.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: That's awesome, Chit, what a beautiful story. Chris, I don't
know what the intent was you bringing uh chd in but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, either yeah, I don't know. That didn't play out
the way I thought it didn't.
Speaker 5: Did you know? It is awfully rude to bring podcast
guests on and then with all of the gotcha questions
of aren't you the most devil?
Speaker 1: Well, I would then saying the most see what the
work I do? I I'm you put the words most
I said. It's kind of evil, I think, Chris, I
don't know what this TMZ bullshit is.
Speaker 2: You're trying to pull with this gotcha journalism, but I'm
not gonna have it on my podcast.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not gonna have it.
Speaker 5: Why you're having such a hard time getting.
Speaker 2: Guests exactly exactly? So anyways, Kurt, let's talk about how
we can make more sales on our Black Friday store. Huh?
Speaker 5: Okay, let me take a look at the store. What
do you got here? First of all, yeah, you don't
have any TVs. No, so you gotta sell at least
five TVs.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, five like five different types or just
five TVs.
Speaker 5: No, they're five individual TVs, so that you create scarcity.
Speaker 1: H huh.
Speaker 5: And then these shirts. They all just look like the
price is the price, you have to cross out the
price and then put a new price below. And there's
so much fucking yellow on this store.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does look like it's just been drenched in piss.
Speaker 5: That's just nobody likes the yellow store, okay, or yellow shirt.
And also, why don't you have any blenders?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Blenders? Okay, we need to get on that blenders. Write
that down.
Speaker 5: No video games on sale here.
Speaker 1: Nobody's there's buttons and pins.
Speaker 5: Also, I would stop branding it with good morning from hell.
I would put different words on these shirts.
Speaker 2: What kind of words are we talking to here, Kurt?
Like on sale okay, okay.
Speaker 5: If you put the branding it says on sale, everyone
will know that they got the shirt on sales.
Speaker 2: So to be clear, you're saying, we need to put
a shirt in the store that says on sale and
put it on sale.
Speaker 5: Yes, put the shirt on sale, got it? Because the
thing about the seille is it's not just the bargain, right,
it's people knowing that you got the bargain.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a huge flex.
Speaker 5: So yeah, and all this stuff looks like craps, So
that's a good stuff because you don't want to sell
the good stuff. You only sell the crap, right, So
you guys don't have that issue.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, And.
Speaker 5: It seems like you got the most basic mug, none
of the craft munds. It's just a random cup eat
with your logos. That's good. Yeah, But you should always
say one of however many and then just have more.
But you say one of fifty limited edition, Okay, all right,
you'll never sell fifty, not with that stuff. But and
then you should also say you know, because what you
really want, what Black Friday is all about, is tearing
families apart, right, so that they can pursue their real love,
which is stuff.
Speaker 3: Right, Kurt, these are some great ideas. You're you're generating
some gold here.
Speaker 5: You know what we're doing this year. Yeah, if you
take a picture of the Thanksgiving meal where you haven't
eaten any of it, and you get a video of
your crying grandmother, will give you an extra two percent off.
Speaker 2: Incredible, that's right.
Speaker 5: And also if you bring a video to the Star
of you leaving the delivery room of your own child
mm hmm, we will give you forty dollars off one
of those stick vacuums. Wow, not a Dyson, but it
looks like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a Tyson or something. It's like adjacent,
but not Dyson.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1: The company that makes chicken.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's a to Nikol.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah that's good.
Speaker 5: But Black Friday, Remember the key is raise the price,
but make them feel like you've lowered the price.
Speaker 2: Like you've lowered the price. Wow, I've written all this down, Kurt.
This is incredible. You've given us some very valuable information.
I cannot thank you enough for stopping by the show always. Chris,
do you have anything nice to say to Kurt?
Speaker 1: Thank you for your Don't like that, Chris contributions to
I don't like that. Trill like that, Chris, don't I
don't like you. Don't like that, Chris, don't like that?
Speaker 2: Chris Well listeners at home. If you want some merchandise,
some good morning from merchandise. Kurt watched this.
Speaker 3: We're having a Black Friday sale.
Speaker 2: Whoa so go to store dot good morning from hell
dot com. We've got TVs, we've got blenders, we've got
a sale shirt that's on sale. Really yeah, no, we're
having all that stuff. Just play along, Chris, well, we're
gonna have all this stuff at our store. So go
to store dot Goodway from hell dot com and check
out our awesome merchandise.
Speaker 5: You're a kidnap bargain.
Speaker 2: You're getting up a big bargain, a big bargain. All right,
Well that's it for this week. Like I said, store
dot can wave from hell dot com. Support the show,
follow us on Patreon. You can get that at good
Morning from Hell dot com six dollars and sixty six cents.
It's awfully low price to be a cool supporter.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 1: Remember when it was nine to ninety nine. That's the spew.
It's smart down to six sixties.
Speaker 2: That's the spirit.
Speaker 3: Chris, you're getting it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's on sale three dollars and thirty three cents off.
Wink wink, So go check us out Hell Clayton.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Zach Anner for coming on once again.
Are I would say annual, but we stopped doing the
show for several years. But Thanksgiving guests.
Speaker 5: I was still on. I still did it.
Speaker 2: By my Sempty podcast room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so, Zach, you were on Sigmund Freud. You were
also on as the President of Turkeys and then and then.
Speaker 5: I just came for the supposed finale before you guys
went for this new cash grad that's true.
Speaker 1: So Zach, where can people find you?
Speaker 2: Or?
Speaker 1: Actually you have been making some really really good videos
on social media.
Speaker 5: You've been telling me to go on the TikTok. Yeah,
I haven't figured that out. Yeah, and it's fun just
telling little stories that inspire people and then coming on
and doing this hell podcast.
Speaker 1: Uh and it's Zach Aner like, Yeah, you're tag typically.
Speaker 2: Zach Anner, which I believe is your username? Is that correct, Zach?
Speaker 5: Yes, Zach dot and or on Instagram?
Speaker 2: I think, okay, but I don't know.
Speaker 5: Who got Zach Anner. I can't get it anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're on YouTube and Facebook and everything like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but you know your patrons can follow me, but
they don't have to.
Speaker 2: He should follow you.
Speaker 5: If you like this, you probably won't like the stuff
that I make.
Speaker 2: To confirm it is at Zach dot Anner. We also
want to shout out James Williams. He stopped by as
a chet Ohio and his riveting story really funny.
Speaker 5: That James really funny. You should get him on as
the main guests.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe someday. I don't know if he'll make the cut.
Also shout out that James is over at Instagram at
James dot Willams, so you should just check him out,
and he's.
Speaker 5: Doing live shows now. He's doing the live shows at
the Dynasty Typewriter. The answer for it trivia show.
Speaker 2: You're on one.
Speaker 5: Really really funny. Yeah, I was on the first one.
But if you can, you can get in person tickets
if you're in LA, or online tickets to stream it
and watch it with the global audience.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of fun and it's really really fun.
Speaker 2: Maybe someday we'll come to me or Chris will be
on it and joined the rinks.
Speaker 5: I highly doubt.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, Zach. I appreciate that vote of confidence.
Speaker 1: Next week you can check out more of Zach on
why We're going to Hell for our Patrons Only, where
we're going to talk about some of our sins. So
thank you Zach for coming on, and stay tuned next
week for more Zach.
Speaker 5: Bye bye bye.