Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction unplugged because we will always say
yes to creativity totally uncud because we all make mistakes.
So turn it into a tool. This is errow unplugged. Hey,
it's ero And this is d frag where you ask
the questions and then you question the answers. You break
things down. You have a physical conversation with yourself, be
it through writing, or be it on a transition walk,
which Jessey and I will be on in a matter
of moments. One of the things that I enjoy doing
is a pre vocal dfrag. Thoughts that come to me
on paper are going to become subjects out on that walk.
For instance. One of the things that I've often been
accused of is that I put too much emotion into
everything that I do. So on the d frag, inside
the journals I wrote, I'm not going to change if
I do, so will everyone who has a connection to
my expectations and process. I really do give a lot
because I know that to do it at a level
of acceptance, it needs focus, and focus requires emotion. I
think that's gonna be my subject today when we go
on that transition walk. Focus requires emotion. How many times
in your personal life. As someone says, God, don't get
your panties in a wand relaxed. Let go focus requires emotion.
That's going to be our subject on this episode of
Vocal dfrag. I'll see you out on the path. All right,
we're out on the walk, sunshine today. Yesterday was nothing
but downpours, Southern downpours. A transition walk is going out
and allowing yourself to transition. To transition is giving yourself
permission to listen to the multiple layers of moods that
you go through on a daily basis a good example
of that. And this is why I dfrag is that
I will question, not harshly. I'm not parenting myself, but
I will question the mindset of where I was a
few minutes ago, where I was writing. Saturdays are writing
days for me. I love to do nothing but write.
And then you look up at the clock and it
says it's ten forty two am. I've only got eighteen
more minutes of writing left before I have to transition
to the next thing or the next expectation in my life.
So as I d FRAG, I asked the questions of Okay,
how are you going to handle this when you arrive
into that new transition and you listen to yourself and
you listen to the writer, you listen to the creative
person that you are, you listen to the business personality
that you are, You listen to every level. I've often
accused myself of creating folders. I don't have multiple personalities.
I have multiple folders, and this personality is going to
fit into that folder. Being out here on this transition walk,
there's no other personality that I carry forward like this
moment because I'm out here to listen seventy one degrees
the morning after a bunch of rain, the birds are
singing beautifully. I'm not going to get this with a
writing instrument in my hand. I'm not going to get
this when I'm podcasting. So learning to listen to your
emotions is where you find your focus. All right now,
that's our subject and I've done some research and there's
going to be a lot of people that are going
to be a little angry with me because they're not
going to agree. And I'm okay with that because I
don't walk into the everyday world expecting to be liked
or loved. It's just awareness. So I mentioned in the
Defragg Writing Journal that in order to be focused, there
has to be emotion. In the research that I have
done on this, the one thing they tell business leaders,
if you're going to be focused, you cannot have emotion. Yeah.
It was one of those where I just sat there
with my mouth wide open, going, you're so sadly mistaken,
because the reason why people invest their time, their energy,
their dedication, their loyalty, everything into that project is because
they're emotionally involved. Now, emotion has a lot of definitions.
The emotions that this particular article of research was about
talked about the emotions of anger, being disappointed with coworkers,
being fearful of big decisions that need to be made.
That's the type of emotion they were talking about. My
emotion that I'm speaking of is what comes from your
heart in the way of going, I want to do this.
I want to be able to bring this forward. I
don't want to face that wall. I don't want to
face this wall. What I want to do is I
want to get myself emotionally involved in bringing something forward,
and it's going to require focus. When I'm not focused,
I see it in those that are around me. It's
not that I'm screwing around. It's not that I'm sitting
here saying not today, we're going to be lazy. My
focus is to make sure that determination and loyalty are
put in play at a level of acceptance for all.
It's something that I learned as a martial artist. Even
though I am a third don, which is a third
degree black belt, when I went into that room or
that dojong and I was with white belts, I didn't
act like a third degree black belt. I was at
their level of play. The white belt. I understood their
journey because I had experienced that journey. It may have
been years before, but I still knew what it was like.
I feel the business world is the same way. When
I'm in my leadership role, I have to understand the
several different layers of skills, so I get emotionally involved
with bringing that day to a successful journey. I had
a business manager last night sit down with me and
he says, why do you get moody? And I looked
at him and I said, look around you. There's every
bit the reason to get moody. And if you see
me showcase a mood or a mindset, maybe you should
be asking the question as a business leader, as a
department head, what have you put into place that is
creating such situations? See, it's a teamwork thing. It's not
an I thing. If I'm moody, then how am I
being affected? Why am I being affected? It goes all
the way back to what I was just saying. When
I'm not focused, those that are around me are not focused.
That's what being a leader is all about. So this
emotional thing, how do you handle situations where you don't
get so emotionally involved. In my terrestrial radio days, I
was always pulled into HR meetings. Program directors, radio station
consultants always pulled into these meetings, and they were always
bothered by how much emotion I poured into everything. I
was always asking questions. I was always trying to piece
things together, break things down. See, doing a vocal dfrag
is nothing compared to how I ran my forty three
years in the broadcast industry because I learned as a
younger kid, break it down, figure it out. Why am
I not doing this? I know I've got the skills
to do it, but why didn't it happen? So you
put your emotion in everything that you do, and that
tends to not be so easy for other people to handle.
When I speak of focus and emotion in the same sentence.
To me, it's like making an investment in your future.
If I don't care about the project, it's just another
stinking job. I got enough jobs. I don't need a job.
What I like to do is use my emotions to
put myself through those moments where you don't want to
be at that job, where you don't want to be
in front of people. And if you really want to
get emotional, what you have to do is be aware
of what type of emotion that you're sharing with other people.
Having the passion to do something can be a fire
starter in other people's lives. They don't see their passion
being as strong as your passion, and people are uneasy
because it's like, God, I can't live up to this person.
I've been there a million times. I've been with some
very big people, and it's like, God, why did they
get to make it? What happened here? That they got
the star and all I got was a mustard seed?
What happened here? Sure, we all go through those emotions
of jealousy, of trying to figure out why something happened. Well,
when you ask the questions and you question the answers,
you start breaking it down and you start identifying with
everything that you're aware of. Now, is that too emotional?
It could be for some, but I'm okay with that
because to find focus, if you don't have any motional investment,
it ain't gonna happen. Anybody can be focused, anybody at
any time, but how long is that focus going to last?
My father all the time, very strict man, very strict man.
He was a sergeant in World War Two, and he
would always tell me, find your focus, find your focus.
And I remember the day that he told me. He says,
you know why you don't focus because you don't care.
You don't care. That's why you can't find your focus.
What you're doing is something that everybody else wants from you,
and you're not finding any success in that at all.
Tough words, huh, I thought so. As a kid, I
grew up hating the man because I couldn't find my focus.
But then one day I found the things that I
do enjoy, the things that I found joy in, And
you should have seen how focused I became. The drawing
because I wanted to be an architect. I wanted to
do malls and homes and gigantic buildings. Yeah, I'm going
to be an architect. Until I went and at the architect,
and the architect said, you got it all wrong. And
even though I was there to have an internship because
I did drafting one through three, I was doing everything
wrong in his eyes. So suddenly his emotion affected my emotion,
and I didn't go the route of being an engineer
and or an architect. I can get emotional about a
lot of things, but in order to stand up for
what you believe in, you've got to have focus. I
believe still that focus and emotion are tied together as one.
Now the question is is how can we get you
to be more focused? Do you love your job? Do
you love the people that you hang out with? Are
they just there? Are you just walking through an everyday world.
This is not a guilt trip. I'm just asking a
very simple question about your personal life as we venture
toward focus. It's taken many, many years for me to
understand and how to find focus. I use meditation as
a tool to find my focus. I use music as
a tool to find my focus. But it's got to
be the right music. I'll give you a good example
this morning. Because I was talking about the group Sticks
at the Essential job last night. I thought, yeah, we'll
fill up today this morning with some music from the
group Sticks. Man. I was not in the mood for that,
and my focus was at a whack. Being a daily
writer allows me to find focus. Am I always focused
in on what I'm trying to do? Oh? Hell no,
hell no. It takes a lot to get words on
a page. I understand why people really don't want to
invest the time to do it. So then why do
I write every day? Why has this been going on
for twenty nine years? Well, in the art of locating focus,
I developed a relationship with the page and the writing instrument.
I began to see and hear emotions that were trapped
inside of me because I was constantly depressed about with
my head hung low, my shoulders sinking inward. So I
had to figure out what was going to be the
key to some future success, and that is I had
to find focus. As long as I was doing radio,
I was a very focused person. But in the real world,
when it came to the community, if it had nothing
to do with radio, I had nothing to do with it.
It's because my focus was all in one place, and
you've got to learn, as a growing person, learn how
to find your focus in other investments. And I believe
it starts with emotion. I do, because if you're not
emotionally connected, you will find no reason to stay in
that moment. It hurt my feelings a little bit last
night when a different manager and I were talking and
he goes, yeah, I'm not here to reach for higher positions.
I'm just here because I'll just do whatever they want
me to do. And I looked at the manager and
literally out of my mouth, I said, if you have
no personal growth, then what you've got is you've got depletion.
Where's your focus? Where are you at? What makes you
say something like this today? And he goes, no, really,
that's the way I've always run my life is that
you know, there's no reason for me to grow bigger
than what I am. You hired me for this position.
This is all I'm going to do. Even with coworkers,
I'll see that they are trapped in a mental mindset,
self serving, and I'll ask him where are your emotions?
Where is your focus? And they'll say, you know, what,
I got too many walls. I got too many walls.
I don't know what to do with these negative feelings.
That really does define the way of the world. And
the reason why I bring that up is because it
seems like people are no longer afraid of hiding their emotions.
Once again, I am not arguing with the article that's
said that to be a great lead, you've got to
get rid of the emotions. I'm not arguing with that.
I'm just saying that if you go numb into anything
that you're doing, it's not going to last that long.
No wonder people are redesigning their dreams monthly, yearly because
they don't have any emotional attachment as to why they're
doing what they're doing. My emotional attachment people. I do
things for people. I live for people. How about if
you did that, if you said, look, okay, I know
I've got this really super easy job over here at
a Bojangles or McDonald's, but it's just a job. I
need the money. Now, let's turn that around. What happens
if that person in front of you needs a connection, someone,
just a smile, someone to have a conversation with. Maybe
they lost a loved one maybe they have cancer and
they just want to be with people, whereas the other
family members are going, oh god, that's all you talk
about emotion and focus, your focus? What will it be today?
And very easily we could attach that to your intentions?
What are your intentions today? A goal? I'm not a
goal setter because I have Really it's like doing New
Year's resolutions. Nothing hurts me worse than when I failed them.
But if I have an intention, then I'm going to
take a transition walk on a seventy one degree day
to listen to the birds and to share a conversation
about being focused. I'm going to make sure that that
intention takes place. Become a daily writer, somehow, some way,
even if it's not a posted note. Write down your thoughts.
They're moving through you at a million miles a minute,
but you're ignoring them. You're not in focus. Look for
the outreach. Who's going to receive. We're not here to
serve ourselves, We're here to serve others. As all I'm
asking listen to the wind and allow the wind to
help share your story. Ask the questions, question the answers.
I call that deef writing.