WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:05.440 Section sixteen of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording. 2 00:00:05.879 --> 00:00:09.560 All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 3 00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:15.119 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording 4 00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:21.280 by Jill Janovitz Amusement Only by Richard marsh Aunt Jane's Jalap, 5 00:00:21.800 --> 00:00:26.920 Chapter one, before taking there's a fortune in it for 6 00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:30.800 bottle makers. If for them, then what for us? We 7 00:00:30.879 --> 00:00:34.200 shan't want more bottles than we can sell. Besides, we 8 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:37.159 can make our own bottles. If it comes to that cost. 9 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:41.560 A bottle contents, cork, label and all one penny selling 10 00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:46.520 price eightpence sell at a moderate estimate one million bottles 11 00:00:46.560 --> 00:00:49.960 a year. How does that figure for a profit? It 12 00:00:50.039 --> 00:00:53.520 figures nicely, But give me facts. How long do you 13 00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:56.520 suppose it will take us to reach that sale? No 14 00:00:56.679 --> 00:01:01.159 time the name will sell it. Aunt Jane's Jalap. There 15 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:04.120 isn't an old woman in England who, seeing those words 16 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:07.280 staring her in the face, won't press a longing hand 17 00:01:07.319 --> 00:01:11.599 to her inside outside. I presume you mean, but no matter. 18 00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:14.959 Hughes placed the bottle on the table. He looked at 19 00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:18.439 it with loving eyes. Then he shook his head. There's 20 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:24.480 only one thing. We want customers, testimonials. There's something in it. 21 00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:25.040 I know. 22 00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:30.319 There is not much, perhaps, but still something. That bottle, sir, 23 00:01:30.439 --> 00:01:34.120 contains a remedy for all known diseases and all unknown ones, 24 00:01:34.159 --> 00:01:37.159 for all that I can tell. In fact, I have 25 00:01:37.239 --> 00:01:40.239 suspicion that it is the unknown diseases that it will 26 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:45.680 come as the greatest blessing patent medicines generally do those 27 00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:49.120 mysterious maladies which, up to the advent of Aunt Jane's 28 00:01:49.159 --> 00:01:53.680 jalap have baffled all the resources of medical science. Give 29 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:55.840 me a day or two and I will prove it. 30 00:01:56.280 --> 00:01:58.920 I will bring you testimonies which will make your hair 31 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:03.319 stand up on end. And he paused, looking me fixedly 32 00:02:03.319 --> 00:02:08.080 in the face, all genuine. That evening I had a 33 00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:11.680 small dinner party. It was rather an occasion. The suggestion, 34 00:02:11.800 --> 00:02:15.680 I'm bound to admit, had come from Margaret, My dear George. 35 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:18.159 It's the easiest thing in the world, and you could 36 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:21.080 do it nicely. Why don't you ask us to dinner? 37 00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:24.360 Aunt and I and old pipus to round it off? 38 00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:28.159 Squared off, I suspect she meant, but of course that 39 00:02:28.280 --> 00:02:31.439 would make four with me. But I didn't correct her, 40 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:33.520 and then you and I could look over the house 41 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:37.800 together after dinner. So I asked them, and they came. 42 00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:41.240 Old Pybus said that he would be delighted. I don't 43 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:44.719 care for pipus myself, but Missus Chalmers does, and this 44 00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:46.759 was an occasion on which her taste had to be 45 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:51.039 consulted rather than mine. And during dinner I began on 46 00:02:51.240 --> 00:02:55.400 Aunt Jane's jalap. Well, it's all settled with Hughes. I 47 00:02:55.400 --> 00:03:00.520 addressed myself to Margaret, what about Aunt Jane's jalap? Missus 48 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:03.360 Chalmers put down her spoon. This was while the soup 49 00:03:03.479 --> 00:03:09.439 was on Aunt Jane's jalap? Whatever's that? The new patent medicine, 50 00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:12.840 the coming boom. You must know that my friend Francis 51 00:03:12.919 --> 00:03:16.520 Hughes has a wonderful old nurse, and this wonderful old 52 00:03:16.599 --> 00:03:20.000 nurse has the most wonderful medicine which she used to 53 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:24.080 administer to all her charges. Hughes has obtained the recipe 54 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:26.960 from her. How much did he give her for it? 55 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:31.759 Half a crown, I crushed pibus. This is a private matter, 56 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:36.000 but rather more than half a crown, as a plain 57 00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:39.879 statement of fact, he hadn't given her anything yet but 58 00:03:40.039 --> 00:03:42.240 of course we should both of us see that she 59 00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:44.520 made a good thing of it when the sale got up. 60 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:48.039 I need scarcely observe what fortunes have been made in 61 00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:52.639 patent medicines and lost in them? My boy, this was 62 00:03:52.759 --> 00:03:57.039 just like pipus, But I let it pass. Millions, literally 63 00:03:57.120 --> 00:04:00.479 millions have been made, and I may safely say that 64 00:04:00.680 --> 00:04:04.400 none of them compare with Aunt Jane's jalap. Have you 65 00:04:04.439 --> 00:04:08.120 tried the stuff upon yourself? No, Pybus, I have not. 66 00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:12.000 I am ready at any time to try it upon you. Well, 67 00:04:12.120 --> 00:04:14.439 Hughes has supplied the medicine, and I'm going to supply 68 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:18.800 part of the capital. What part this is? Another private part? 69 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:21.959 Pibus sufficient, I trust to bring the matter before the 70 00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:25.000 public eye. Don't you think the name is rather a 71 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:29.600 funny one? Aunt Jane's jalap? This was hard coming from Margaret, 72 00:04:30.439 --> 00:04:33.160 My dear Margaret. The name is half of the battle. 73 00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:36.720 Hughes thinks it's a splendid one. But don't you think 74 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:40.439 it makes one think of indigestion. That's exactly what it's 75 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:45.279 meant to do, before or afterwards. This, of course was Pybus. 76 00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:48.959 Let those laugh who win, Wait till you see the 77 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:52.920 name blazoned on every dead wall. Then you'll welcome Aunt 78 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:57.120 Jane's jalap as a friend. That dinner, I confess, was 79 00:04:57.160 --> 00:05:00.360 a little patent medicine. More than once I had wish 80 00:05:00.439 --> 00:05:02.959 that I had kept the subject out of it. Pybus 81 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:06.399 told some pleasant and characteristic anecdotes about injurious effects of 82 00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:10.040 patent medicines. How he had known whole families killed by 83 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:13.360 taking them, How more than half the infant mortality of 84 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:17.560 Great Britain was owing to their unrestricted sale. How the 85 00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:20.399 habit of taking patent medicines was worse than the habit 86 00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:24.120 of dram drinking. And then why and the wherefore and 87 00:05:24.199 --> 00:05:27.160 so on. I could not, at my own table take 88 00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:29.319 the man by the scruff of the neck and drop 89 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:32.000 him from the first floor window. But I know that 90 00:05:32.040 --> 00:05:35.519 Margaret didn't like it, and I didn't either. Missus Chalmers 91 00:05:35.560 --> 00:05:40.040 seemed undecided. She herself swears by some noxious compound which 92 00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:43.480 is absurdly named Daddy's Delight, and which I know by 93 00:05:43.480 --> 00:05:46.120 the mere smell of it it is nothing else but poison. 94 00:05:47.240 --> 00:05:49.600 Have you any of the stuff in the house, she asked, 95 00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:52.519 I have a bottle of Aunt Jane's jalap, which is 96 00:05:52.519 --> 00:05:56.800 not stuff, my dear Missus Chalmers, but a most invaluable medicine. 97 00:05:57.279 --> 00:06:00.800 Hughes brought it this afternoon as a sample. Trot it out, 98 00:06:00.879 --> 00:06:04.639 said Pybus Pibus is fifty one if he is a day, 99 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:08.000 but he uses the slang of a schoolboy. I was 100 00:06:08.040 --> 00:06:09.800 not going to act on such a hint as that, 101 00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:12.839 But when Missus Chalmers expressed a wish to look at it, 102 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:16.120 I fetched the bottle. It was a small black bottle, 103 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:19.360 such as is used for samples of wine, about a 104 00:06:19.399 --> 00:06:23.319 quarter bottle size. I held it in my hand. This, 105 00:06:23.639 --> 00:06:27.199 ladies and gentlemen, is Aunt Jane's jalap. It is a 106 00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:29.959 name which I trust will soon be familiar in your 107 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:34.720 mouths as household words. This, however, is its first appearance 108 00:06:34.759 --> 00:06:37.720 on the scene. And I propose, to mark the importance 109 00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:41.839 of the occasion, that we drink to its success. I propose, 110 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:44.879 ladies and gentlemen, that we drink to Aunt Jane's jalap 111 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:50.680 In Aunt Jane's jalap Brooks, bring four claret glasses. I 112 00:06:50.759 --> 00:06:53.879 drew the cork. George, you don't mean that where to 113 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:57.600 drink the stuff? I do, my dear Margaret, why not? 114 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:02.279 The dose is a wineglassful to be taken immediately after meals. 115 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:06.120 Missus Chalmers, allow me to offer you a glass of 116 00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:10.439 Aunt Jane's jalap. She sniffed at it. It has a 117 00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:15.360 very disagreeable smell. That was good. I protest that I 118 00:07:15.399 --> 00:07:18.000 have smelt Daddy's delight when I was passing the house, 119 00:07:18.120 --> 00:07:22.040 and took it till I knew better. For drains. Margaret 120 00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:25.759 a glass of Aunt Jane's jalap. But George, I assure 121 00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:29.480 you that I never do take medicine. Some people's wine 122 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:32.720 is no better than medicine. We drink that and pretend 123 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:36.879 we like it. Why not jalap? This was Pybus, as 124 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:40.120 he had just before been making insinuations about my wine. 125 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:45.000 The illusion was pointed, but the man's proverbial no, heel 126 00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:49.759 traps Aunt Jane's jalap with the honors. We all stood up. 127 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:53.920 I drained my glass. I immediately wish I hadn't. The 128 00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:57.720 others drained their glasses. I saw they wish they hadn't too. 129 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:02.000 I do not think I ever take anything quite so nasty. 130 00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:05.680 I wish I had sampled it before. As it was, 131 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:09.199 it took me by surprise, so much by surprise that 132 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:13.279 my first impulse was to fly for shelter. It was like, well, 133 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:17.720 the taste was really so exceedingly disagreeable that comparison fails me. 134 00:08:18.920 --> 00:08:21.759 It is a case of kill or cure, observed Pybos, 135 00:08:21.879 --> 00:08:25.480 with the most extraordinary expression of countenance. I ever saw. 136 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:28.560 The man who takes much of that stuff will be 137 00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:32.039 killed if he isn't cured. Death for me, rather than 138 00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:36.480 Aunt Jane's jalap. If it is jalap, it is rather pungent, 139 00:08:36.600 --> 00:08:40.600 I owned. I don't know about pungent, continued Pybus, who 140 00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:44.240 certainly seemed to be suffering. But with ice pudding, it's 141 00:08:44.279 --> 00:08:49.000 a failure, never declared missus Chalmers, who was leaning back 142 00:08:49.039 --> 00:08:51.360 in her chair and had her handkerchief in her hand. 143 00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:56.240 Never did I taste anything like it. Never, And after 144 00:08:56.360 --> 00:09:00.519 dinner too, Margaret's feelings seemed for the moment to be 145 00:09:00.600 --> 00:09:03.840 too strong for speech. I perceived the thing had been 146 00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:07.200 a failure. Still, I endeavored to pass it off, which 147 00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:12.279 was difficult for I myself felt really ill. Ah, it 148 00:09:12.360 --> 00:09:15.159 is to the after effects we must look forward. It 149 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:18.559 is the after effects I'm thinking of, said Pibos. That 150 00:09:18.759 --> 00:09:21.000 was almost more than I could bear. It was the 151 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:24.360 after effects I was thinking of as well. Come let's 152 00:09:24.360 --> 00:09:27.759 adjourn and have a little music. Have we finished the 153 00:09:27.799 --> 00:09:32.480 bottom of Jalap, inquired Pybus. I really must apologize. I 154 00:09:32.519 --> 00:09:35.799 confess I had no idea what a peculiar taste it had. 155 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:39.720 It certainly is peculiar. Missus Chalmers put her handkerchief up 156 00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:44.039 to her eyes, and after dinner too, we accompanied the 157 00:09:44.120 --> 00:09:46.600 ladies to the drawing room as well as we could. 158 00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:50.919 Pipas went with Missus Chalmers, and I took Margaret. As 159 00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:54.080 we went, I whispered in her ear. Now you and 160 00:09:54.159 --> 00:09:57.600 I can look over the house together. I am afraid, George, 161 00:09:57.720 --> 00:10:01.679 you must excuse me. I couldn't walk about just yet. 162 00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:05.559 Do take me to a chair. We had planned that 163 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:09.279 we would examine the house together, from attic to basement. Indeed, 164 00:10:09.320 --> 00:10:12.159 the whole affair had been got up for that express purpose. 165 00:10:12.919 --> 00:10:16.120 Everything was in apple pie order and ready for inspection. 166 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:20.799 The servants were on the tiptoe of expectation as we went. 167 00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:24.120 Margaret was to make suggestions for alterations which would fit 168 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:27.799 the house for its mistress, and opportunities might arise for 169 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:31.759 a little confidential intercourse. But of course I could not 170 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:34.799 drag the girl about the place against her will. Love 171 00:10:34.919 --> 00:10:38.480 works wonders, but there are circumstances which proved to be 172 00:10:38.519 --> 00:10:42.399 too strong. The atmosphere of the drawing room was depressing. 173 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:45.440 It was no use my talking to Margaret because she 174 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:49.519 wouldn't talk to me, and general conversation seemed out of 175 00:10:49.559 --> 00:10:53.840 the question. So I tried another line, Pibus give us 176 00:10:53.879 --> 00:10:57.399 a song. Pibus thinks he can sing. He may have 177 00:10:57.440 --> 00:11:02.279 been able to once. Here's drink to me only that's 178 00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:05.039 a favorite of yours. You should hear him sing it. 179 00:11:05.720 --> 00:11:09.840 Margaret will play the accompaniment. Lucas he said, do you think, 180 00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:12.919 by any chance that dose of jalap was too strong? 181 00:11:13.799 --> 00:11:16.080 I asked the question because I remember when I was 182 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.919 a boy hearing of a family being poisoned by an 183 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:22.720 overdose of jalap. In their case, they took it by mistake. 184 00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:25.919 Though judging from the taste of your jalap, I can't 185 00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:29.039 see how that could be. Still, if there is likely 186 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:31.600 to be any danger, it is well that we should 187 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:37.080 be prepared for it. Margaret murmured, missus Chalmers, let's go home, 188 00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:41.120 Why aunt, it will pass off in time? In time, 189 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:43.639 At that moment, I heartily wish that Hughes had been 190 00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:46.559 in Jericho before he induced me to dabble in his 191 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:50.879 patent medicines. I always did hate them, even as a child. 192 00:11:51.559 --> 00:11:55.159 It is quite impossible, continued pivis that the sensations which 193 00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:59.120 I am now experiencing are the ordinary and natural outcome 194 00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:04.080 of a dose of JA. Margaret groaned Missus Chalmers, I 195 00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:08.240 insist upon your coming home, aunt. What is the use 196 00:12:08.279 --> 00:12:11.919 of going home? You haven't got a book in the house, Lucas, 197 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:15.799 Treating of Poisons. I wish you wouldn't talk like that, Pipus. 198 00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:19.000 It really is unfair. I quite perceive that I made 199 00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:22.440 a mistake in administering the dose after dinner. In fact, 200 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:25.919 I am myself inclined to believe that I misunderstood Hughes 201 00:12:26.279 --> 00:12:29.039 and the dose ought to be administered before a meal. 202 00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:34.200 Good God, Pibus, I can't help it. I really cannot 203 00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:38.600 help it, Sir. The idea of a reasonable person voluntarily 204 00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:42.360 swallowing such a concoction as that before his dinner is 205 00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:47.120 enough to make any man profane. I don't think, mister Lucas, 206 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:50.960 murmured Missus Chalmers, that you have the least idea. How 207 00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:55.200 ill I feel, my dear Missus Chalmers, if if there 208 00:12:55.240 --> 00:12:59.080 is anything I can do for you, Yes, said Pibus 209 00:12:59.519 --> 00:13:13.159 another end of chapter one, Aunt Jane's Jalap, Section seventeen 210 00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:18.639 of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox 211 00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:22.639 recordings are in the public domain. For more information or 212 00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:28.519 to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Jill Janovitz. 213 00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:34.240 Amusement Only by Richard marsh Aunt Jane's Jalap Chapter two. 214 00:13:34.720 --> 00:13:39.080 After taking just then Brooks came in. Mister Hughes, Sir, 215 00:13:39.159 --> 00:13:42.440 wishes to speak to you. Excuse me one moment. I'll 216 00:13:42.440 --> 00:13:45.639 be back directly. I found Hughes waiting for me in 217 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:49.080 my snuggery. Sorry to interrupt you, old man, but I 218 00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:52.279 just called in to prevent accidents. What do you mean 219 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:55.720 you know that bottle I brought you this afternoon. I 220 00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:59.600 thought it was Aunt Jane's Jalap, but it isn't. I 221 00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:03.200 found it out directly I got home. You see, I 222 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:07.000 keep all sorts of bottles in my cupboard regular chemist shops, 223 00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:09.559 and I caught hold of the wrong one by mistake. 224 00:14:10.279 --> 00:14:17.279 Not Aunt Jane's Jalap. No, it's Laudanum Lobnum. Hughes the 225 00:14:17.360 --> 00:14:21.039 fact is, Lucas, what's the matter. You don't mean to 226 00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:26.240 say you have been drinking some is? Is it poison? Poison? 227 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:31.600 Why it's pure Loubnum? Would would a wine glassful? Do 228 00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:36.200 any harm? A wine glassful? Lucas, old man, don't say 229 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:42.840 you've drank a wineglassful. We all have all have, Margaret 230 00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:49.240 and Missus, Chalmers and Pibus great powers. We thought it 231 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:51.960 was Aunt Jane's jalap and we drank to its success. 232 00:14:52.759 --> 00:14:57.399 Are they dead dead, Hughes? How long ago is it 233 00:14:57.440 --> 00:15:03.440 since they took it? Not long after dinner? But a wineglassful? 234 00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:08.120 Are they conscious? They were when I just now left them, 235 00:15:08.279 --> 00:15:12.840 But they weren't feeling well. I'm not either. We couldn't 236 00:15:12.919 --> 00:15:18.279 understand it. This explains it, Hughes. You you've murdered us. 237 00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:22.559 Never mind, old man, keep your head. I'll pull you through. 238 00:15:22.759 --> 00:15:25.759 Trust all to me. The great thing in a case 239 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.799 like this is to keep your head. Don't sit down, 240 00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:34.279 keep yourself in constant circulation. Just one second, Brooks. Brooks 241 00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:37.200 run Brooks to the nearest doctor, and then to half 242 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.759 a dozen others and tell them there's a case of 243 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:44.720 laudanum poisoning. And there to come at once, loudnum poisoning, Sir, 244 00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:49.200 What in the house, Yes, in the house. Don't stand 245 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:51.480 there like a pig and a fit. It's a question 246 00:15:51.559 --> 00:15:54.600 of life or death. One moment, sir, while I get 247 00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:59.039 my hat, go without your hat here take mine. Now, 248 00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:03.600 run for your life. Remember, if anything happens through you, you 249 00:16:03.159 --> 00:16:05.440 will be held responsible in the eyes of the law. 250 00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:09.720 Come along, Lucas, let's go in to them. Keep yourself awake, 251 00:16:09.759 --> 00:16:12.919 old man. Jump about. Don't say a word to them 252 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:16.000 about what has happened. Don't let them even suspect from 253 00:16:16.039 --> 00:16:19.159 your manner that anything is wrong. The great thing is 254 00:16:19.240 --> 00:16:23.399 to keep them in entire ignorance and keep cool. Keep cool. 255 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:26.399 He gave a jerk at my arm, which almost pulled 256 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:30.559 me forward on my face. I say, hughes, don't. But 257 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:33.480 I must, old man, I must. I must keep you 258 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:36.919 alive at any cost, Oh Lucas, old man, if anything 259 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:40.039 should happen, but I won't talk like that, or I 260 00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:43.159 shall make a fool of myself. Come along, old man, 261 00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:47.320 and mind what I say. Keep cool. We went along. 262 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:50.039 That is to say, he took me by the arm 263 00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:53.639 and dragged me towards the drawing room. My emotions I 264 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:56.639 am unable to describe. I always think that when a 265 00:16:56.679 --> 00:16:59.320 man is able to describe his emotion, he hasn't had 266 00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:02.360 any worth disc But through it all I had a 267 00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:06.640 dim perception that, in spite of his repeated agitations, Hughes 268 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:10.680 himself kept anything but cool outside the drawing room door. 269 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:15.680 I brought the procession to a standstill. I gripped his arm. Hughes, 270 00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:21.400 do you think that she will die? Who? Margaret? Nonsense? 271 00:17:21.880 --> 00:17:24.839 Don't I tell you no one's going to die? For 272 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.240 goodness sakes, don't talk like that. Don't I keep telling 273 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:32.440 you to keep cool? He did, but it was scarcely 274 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:34.720 with an air of coolness that he threw the door 275 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:38.200 wide open, and with so much force that it seemed 276 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:40.839 as if he were trying to wrench it from its hinges. 277 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:45.039 I fancy our entry made a slight sensation. It was 278 00:17:45.079 --> 00:17:49.599 strange if it didn't. They were certainly not unconscious. Yet, 279 00:17:50.359 --> 00:17:52.960 even amidst my own agitation, it was with quite a 280 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:56.960 sensation of relief that I perceived so much. Missus Chalmers 281 00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:59.880 was reclining on the couch, with her head thrown back 282 00:18:00.359 --> 00:18:02.400 and a look about her which I did not like. 283 00:18:03.319 --> 00:18:06.599 Margaret was on a settee, seeming as though the proceedings 284 00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:10.039 had lost all interest for her. Pibus sat in an 285 00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:14.400 arm chair, his hands crossed upon his stomach. Good evening, 286 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.319 said Hughes. I could see he did not like the 287 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:21.680 look of things. I I've just dropped in, Pibus, Rose, 288 00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:26.359 I'm just dropping out. Good evening, Lucas. I have to 289 00:18:26.440 --> 00:18:29.599 thank you for a very pleasant evening. I'll send you 290 00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:32.920 the doctor's bill when I get it. Hughes looked at me, 291 00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:37.680 then at Pibus. You're not going, mister Pibus. Do you 292 00:18:37.799 --> 00:18:41.200 wish me to be ill here? But I was looking 293 00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:45.119 forward to a song or a dance or something dance. 294 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:49.319 I feel like dancing and singing too. I've been the 295 00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:52.599 victim of an outrage, mister Hughes. I've been introduced to 296 00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:56.400 Aunt Jane's jalap. I've heard of it. Lucas ought not 297 00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:00.519 to have given it to you. And after dinner this 298 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:04.920 was a murmur from the couch that was wrong, quite wrong. 299 00:19:05.480 --> 00:19:09.279 The doe should have been administered before the meal. In 300 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:13.599 that case, I observed a little nettled. We should all 301 00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:16.880 of us been dead by now. Pibus glanced at me, 302 00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:21.519 sharply dead. What do you mean he's turned on me 303 00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:25.559 in a rage. Yes, what do you mean? I felt 304 00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:29.359 I had made a mistake. I I mean nothing, only 305 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:32.160 only I think Hughes was as much to blame as 306 00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:36.960 I was. Hughes took Pibus away, they went to missus Chalmers. 307 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:40.119 So far as I could judge, the lady was rapidly 308 00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:44.559 sinking into a lethargic condition. I remained standing where I was. 309 00:19:45.400 --> 00:19:50.240 I began gradually to realize my situation, the approaching tragedy 310 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:53.960 in which, by fate or circumstance, I was cast as 311 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.759 an actor. A strange leaden feeling seemed to be stealing 312 00:19:57.799 --> 00:20:00.759 over me. But in spite of it, I began to 313 00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:05.279 understand that at any moment the drawing room, this drawing room, 314 00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:10.200 my drawing room, might be strewn with corpses. I knew 315 00:20:10.279 --> 00:20:13.799 nothing of the effects of laudanum poisoning, but Hughes seemed 316 00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:16.799 to be surprised that we were not all of us dead. Already. 317 00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:20.640 Here was Margaret, the woman I loved best in all 318 00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:24.599 the world. Upon my right there was her rent, for 319 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:28.319 whom I own. My love was less. Upon the couch 320 00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:32.519 there was old pyvous. That old man's blood was also 321 00:20:32.599 --> 00:20:36.880 on my hands. What would they call me a suicide? 322 00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:40.640 The irony in the full flush of health and strength, 323 00:20:40.680 --> 00:20:43.880 with fortune, all the world before me, and a wife, 324 00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:47.160 a wife whom I loved with a great fulness of 325 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:51.960 love which was quite old fashioned. I had wrought this hecatomb. 326 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.920 I felt impelled to scream aloud, to warn my victims 327 00:20:55.960 --> 00:20:58.720 of the frightful fate which was stealing fast upon them, 328 00:20:59.079 --> 00:21:02.720 and of which they were still unconscious. Some one touched 329 00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:07.559 me on the arm. I turned. It was Margaret. George, 330 00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:12.880 What is the matter, Margaret. My voice trembled. There was 331 00:21:12.920 --> 00:21:15.799 a choking in my throat. I wished to take her 332 00:21:15.799 --> 00:21:18.920 in my arms before them all. It might be my 333 00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:24.519 last embrace. George, tell me what is wrong. I made 334 00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:28.799 an effort to pull myself together. Oh there's nothing wrong. 335 00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:33.319 I I'm only a bit upset. She put her arm 336 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:37.680 through mine. She led me across the room. I required leading. 337 00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:40.920 She drew me into an alcove which was formed by 338 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:44.839 a window bay. Now, George, tell me what is wrong. 339 00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:48.200 I know there is something wrong. Tell me what it is. 340 00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:53.720 I was at a loss for words. I trifled with her. Margaret, 341 00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:59.200 what do you mean, George? Was her voice, sank to 342 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:03.319 a whisper. Was there anything wrong about that stuff you 343 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:08.119 gave us? What could I say to her? It? It 344 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:12.400 was a mistake drinking it after dinner? Is that all? 345 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:14.759 Was it the right stuff? George? 346 00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:16.160 It it was. 347 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:19.400 The stuff Hughes gave me. You are trifling with me. 348 00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:22.799 I know that there is something wrong. I can see 349 00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:26.079 it in your manner and in mister Hughes's See how 350 00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:30.599 strangely mister Hughes is behaving now. I peeped round the corner. 351 00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:35.119 Hughes was behaving strangely. He was frantically urging missus Chalmers 352 00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:38.039 to stand up and dance, though any looking less like 353 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:41.799 dancing than she did. I never saw he was evidently 354 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:46.000 forgetting his own axiom keep cool. A curious qualm came 355 00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:49.319 over me, almost without knowing it. I leaned for support 356 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:53.240 against the wall. George, what is the matter? You are ill? 357 00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:57.240 Margaret's eager face looked into mine. It will be all 358 00:22:57.319 --> 00:23:00.480 right in a moment, It won't, I know. It won't 359 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.599 tell me what it is. There was something the matter 360 00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:06.359 with that stuff you gave us. I knew it directly. 361 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:09.400 I had swallowed it. Do you think I am a coward? 362 00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:12.200 Do you think I am afraid, But it is only 363 00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.440 fear that you should tell me. If you won't tell me, George, 364 00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:18.480 I will go to mister Hughes and insist upon his 365 00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:22.119 telling me. Don't Margaret. The doctor will be here directly 366 00:23:22.759 --> 00:23:27.119 the doctor. She drew herself straight up. A strange look 367 00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:30.640 came into her eyes. She spoke, almost in a whisper. 368 00:23:31.319 --> 00:23:35.279 What is the doctor coming for? Hughes thought he had 369 00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:39.440 better come. Is it so bad as that? George? What 370 00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:43.359 was the stuff you gave us? I have not said 371 00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:46.680 that it was anything, that the dose was too strong? 372 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:52.440 Was it poison? Margaret? I took her two hands in mine. 373 00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:56.640 She came into my arms. I held her to my breast. 374 00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:01.000 Was it poison? If you love me as much as 375 00:24:01.079 --> 00:24:06.559 I love you, you will tell me, George. Margaret, what poison? 376 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:12.279 Was it? Laudanum? She drew herself away from me. She 377 00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:15.799 looked at me with her great, wide open eyes. Then 378 00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:19.720 her eyes were closed. Before I had the least suspicion 379 00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:22.279 of what was going to happen, she had fallen to 380 00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:27.240 the ground. I knelt beside her. Margaret, I cried. I 381 00:24:27.319 --> 00:24:29.720 cried to her in vain. I was seized with a 382 00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:34.720 great horror. She is dead, I exclaimed. Hughes came running forward. 383 00:24:34.839 --> 00:24:38.200 I almost sprang at him. You have killed her. Don't 384 00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:42.119 be an idiot, Lucas. She can't be dead. She is dead, 385 00:24:42.519 --> 00:24:44.839 and it is your work. For the matter of it, 386 00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:47.920 all all our blood is upon your head. But we 387 00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:51.640 shall not die alone. You shall come too, my friend. 388 00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:55.720 If you don't take your hands away, Lucas, I shall 389 00:24:55.720 --> 00:24:59.880 have to do you a mischief. Mister Lucas, mister Hugh, 390 00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:03.880 have both of you gone mad? Are you aware that 391 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:08.400 there are ladies present? The interference came from Pybus. He 392 00:25:08.519 --> 00:25:11.799 dragged us asunder. He shed more presence of mine, and 393 00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:15.279 more coolness too than I had credited him with. He 394 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:18.920 was a great deal calmer than either Lucas or I. 395 00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:22.519 What is the meaning of this extraordinary behavior? And what 396 00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:26.079 is the matter with miss Hammond? He has killed her? 397 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:30.960 Who has killed her? That scamp with his infernal negligence. 398 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.039 I don't in the least understand you, and I think 399 00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:38.839 that instead of wrangling here, your attentions were better bestowed 400 00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:42.759 upon Miss Hammond. I threw myself at her side. I 401 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:45.680