Speaker 1: Welcome back to Talking Schmidt besties. I am so excited
to be here with you this week. And I just
want to say, I know a couple of you said
last week, you're like, am I a fucking Twilight Zone?
Why is she talking about a trip that already happened.
What's going on here is we're banking episode so that
when I get to Florida, I can like chill before
I figure out like my studio and how it's gonna
work without Mike and how to zoom mic in. And
you know that I will fall apart without Mike. So
if some things are like there's a little bit of
a lack of congruity, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm doing my best. Okay that said, I have some
up upcoming dates. I hope you come see me on
the road. I am in Raleigh on the twenty seventh,
Austin on the twenty eighth, and Nashville on the twenty ninth.
I would love to see you. I'm going to be
in Europe in March. February. I have some dates with
Raina Greenberg. I have some dates in Janesville on my
own the thirteenth and the fourteenth at the Janesville Comedy Cabin.
I would love to spend Valentine's Day with you. Please
come hang out with me. Our guest today is a
comedy genius. And do you a friend of mine? Somebody
that I am obsessed with? So I'm not going to
take a bunch of time up top. We are going
to dive right into our episode with Eddie peppatone.
Speaker 3: You know, I just want to move to some fucking
country ass setting and just kind of talk porch.
Speaker 2: I could see you to porch in a rocking chair, yeah,
like mentally with like a murder of crows around you
that you've that you've trained.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Biggie Smalls.
Speaker 2: Exchange for like corn, they bring you Barrett's Brett. We'll
be like, whatever happened to Eddie? Just there's like a
ring camera on you. That's it?
Speaker 3: My my uh, my answer to that would be, well,
you never cared about me.
Speaker 2: You never cared about me in the first place.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: So now I'm on a porch in a rocking chair
podtifocating to crows.
Speaker 3: What a business this is?
Speaker 2: It's a hell escape. How long have you been doing this?
Speaker 3: It's embarrassing? Almost thirty years.
Speaker 2: Five years you gotta quit.
Speaker 4: I brought you here today to tell you to get
out of the business.
Speaker 3: It's iPhone left behind.
Speaker 2: It's half past quentin time. Do you need your iPhone?
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure I have it. This
fucking thing.
Speaker 2: I left it behind, just like everything else. Just biggie,
what do you want? He just stands there and stares
at us in shakes. Do you need to go to
the car and get your own? No?
Speaker 3: No, I just I have it. I have to have
it because.
Speaker 2: This is good stuff. This is what everyone's here for. Good.
Speaker 3: You know that.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's go.
Speaker 2: Okay, fine, is your watching it is? You're going to
tell you to stand up soon? What is it one
of those watches that you know it's like time for
you to take Yeah, yeah, but you're a watch. Mind
your fucking business. Oh yeah, okay, stand up. I don't
need blood flow.
Speaker 3: I don't need anything.
Speaker 2: I don't need anything. I need a loaded gun. All right?
So thirty years you've been doing comedy?
Speaker 3: Are we taping?
Speaker 2: And we're fucking taping. That's why I was saying, this
is what they came for. Digging through your purse.
Speaker 3: Let's say let's say that's no, thirty five.
Speaker 2: Well that's worse. Why'd you correct it?
Speaker 3: I just want to be honest. I feel like if
we're honest, we are set free.
Speaker 2: Oh god, here goes all right. How's that working for you?
Do you feel free?
Speaker 3: No? But no, not really really. But here's the thing,
you know, I have been sober now for eight plus months.
Speaker 2: God, here we go.
Speaker 5: Hang on a second at the applause.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's important, and I love you. But let me
grab my shaking dog.
Speaker 3: You're what joy?
Speaker 2: He just he wants to be a part of it,
but he doesn't know to use his language.
Speaker 6: Oh, sweetheart, sweetheart, Okay, eight plus months?
Speaker 2: Is that the longest ever for you?
Speaker 3: No? Oh no, no, no, no, no. I've had a
few years. But I've had a run. I think you
know this. I've had a rough.
Speaker 2: Back and forth with Yes, you and I have been
doing the tango, the fucking we've been doing the two stores.
Speaker 3: I love the values that I had no idea.
Speaker 2: Isn't it out? You're like running meetings, running meetings.
Speaker 3: And I was also I was feeling guilty.
Speaker 2: You're like afraid to talk to me. You're like like
this pillar. Like I was like, yeah, but eight months. Congratulations. Yeah,
so do you feel set free?
Speaker 3: What I'm asking, Yeah, That's why I was mentioning that
what has happened to me is that I've really, I've
really kind of I'm grounded, but I'm really And this
is the tough part about sobriety. Once you get over
that pink cloud the first few months whatever, you're like
in reality, you're face to face with why you started
using in the first place, your face to face with
your demons, and you want to escape because for me,
this is for me, my mind is an enemy to me.
It's like they're eddy Eddy Eddy Eddy, Like just here,
just today, you're on the one on one North. I'm
trying to tell you what my mind says. Don't worry,
just relax, even though you feel incredible nervousness. What are
the AVI and Awards? Ask her that I hope they're
not what you think they are.
Speaker 2: Are support and awards?
Speaker 3: It is, and you're hosting? How did that happen?
Speaker 2: Honestly?
Speaker 3: Never mind my freedom.
Speaker 2: I did a special with OnlyFans and they were like,
I think you'd be great to host this, and I
was like, all right, whatever, you know, Nikki Glazers hosting
the globes.
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, it doesn't feel like my career is going
to the red at all.
Speaker 3: But my god, Nicky Clay, I watched about half of
that opening monologue last night on YouTube.
Speaker 2: You only made it up wint through. She did such
a good job, and you're like, I get it.
Speaker 3: No, I I wanted to watch the rest of it.
Speaker 2: But the demons, the demon, you know.
Speaker 3: I wanted her to fail badly, but she did well.
Speaker 2: No, she didn't fall on her face unfortunately.
Speaker 3: No, not at all. You know, she has great writers.
I need a team of writers like her, same, you know,
just people following me around with like cliffboards.
Speaker 2: Going notes, yes, yeah, notes and back.
Speaker 3: Hey Eddie, Eddie, what about you host the a v
ensh what?
Speaker 2: And you know, I think there's room. I think we
could do a host.
Speaker 3: I should dress up like Ron Jeremy in a prison
prison jump suit.
Speaker 5: You match the demographic of audience.
Speaker 3: Yes? Did he die?
Speaker 2: I think he's dead? Isn't he?
Speaker 3: Could you try? N?
Speaker 2: I think he died, and.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's in prison. He's in prison.
Speaker 2: He's in prison. But didn't he die in prison?
Speaker 3: Well he should and he will.
Speaker 2: And if you're hearing this runs are numbered.
Speaker 5: Oh he's still he's still kicking.
Speaker 3: It's a documentary about him.
Speaker 2: Nightmare person.
Speaker 3: Oh boy. But anyway, so I'm face to face with
my demons. You're doing the A v N.
Speaker 2: And I'm face to face with my demon are you?
Speaker 3: How is it? I mean, I commend you, by the
way from moving and changing big.
Speaker 2: Yeah, big deal.
Speaker 3: Big takes a lot, takes a lot.
Speaker 2: It's comfy here. It's it's interesting though, because I feel like,
you know, I'm telling people I'm moving and they're like
faking sadness. You know, they're like, oh no.
Speaker 3: I was kind of pissed.
Speaker 2: I like that reaction.
Speaker 5: But that's at least.
Speaker 2: What a bit, I know. But this is my point
is everyone's like, what a bit You're leaving. And I'm like,
I'm gonna see you the exact same amount that I
see you here because I never see anyone here.
Speaker 3: Is that right?
Speaker 2: I don't seen you in ten months?
Speaker 3: I know. Well, I canceled a couple of lunches.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's what I love about you is You're
not afraid to cancel. And you know what I feel like,
a cancelation for me is like a snow day, Like.
Speaker 3: Someone.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. It's kind of like where the
Spider Man beam of cancelations. It's like you go and
then I go, and then we never see each other.
But that's what living in la is.
Speaker 7: It is.
Speaker 2: Pretending you're going to see someone meaning well and knowing
you never will.
Speaker 3: Right. But look at me now, I'm here because it's
near me. You're on the west side or you were hills?
Speaker 2: What Beverly Hills. I'm in the middle. I'm right over
the hills.
Speaker 3: Beverly Hills is to me a nightmare. Yeah, you know,
the big palm.
Speaker 6: Trees, disgusting, all the shopping everybody.
Speaker 3: That's a new text.
Speaker 5: They'll start taxing as soon as they can text.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so.
Speaker 3: You're moving, that's great.
Speaker 2: I'll see you whenever you're in Florida.
Speaker 3: Why am I drawn a little your Palm Springs. Were
you moving to?
Speaker 2: Oh, Palm Beach, Palm Beach, West Palm Beach.
Speaker 3: Florida Bay, West Palm And that's close to Miami.
Speaker 2: It's like an hour and a half.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's it's that far away. Yeah, okay, because I've
been doing a club which I could tell my the
guy who owns it. I love and I could hip
him to you. It's called the Miami Comedy Club. Very
interesting name and it's in Miami.
Speaker 2: I wonder how he came up with that, right, he's.
Speaker 3: A But I love this guy. And where he puts
you up. There's a nice pool and I just swim.
Oh okay, I'm a little fish.
Speaker 2: Ooh you're a swimmer. You're aquatic. Yeah, is built for aquatic.
Speaker 3: You don't get this from sitting around.
Speaker 2: That's aero dynamic. Oh my god, you know it was
a really strong swimmer. It would surprise you. Shane Gillis,
I believe it doesn't surprise me at all. Really what.
Speaker 3: He looks pretty fit, he doesn't have that pasty comic look.
Like he's doing very well.
Speaker 2: He's doing better than ever.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say.
Speaker 5: Bigger guys are built the float. We stay on top
of the water.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know he gets underwater and fucking darts. He's
a he's a quick swimmer.
Speaker 3: Oh that's nice. I'm now after this, I'm going to
a trainer and I wish he would.
Speaker 2: Cancel what And that's what we all wish for our trainers.
They usually die.
Speaker 3: I used to Okay, it makes me.
Speaker 2: Go Yeah, it does because you pay the money and
you do the You know, you don't want to have
the but you now you're made of money. You can
just burn it. You could just cancel.
Speaker 3: You know. That's a funny thing. You also are a
little made.
Speaker 2: Of money right, well, and I'm not made of money.
Well even like my old career still like this career
is still what's your old career? I used to be
in advertising, used to make quite a bit of money
in advertise. Yeah, why did you leave? Well, because that
was the thing. I got to the top. I was
making all the money I could make and.
Speaker 3: You were board and I was.
Speaker 2: I was like I'm old dad. Yeah. And I had
started comedy as a side thing, and I was like,
you know, the first time I did comedy, I was like,
this is what I was born to. But I was
such an alcoholic. I was committed to being an alcoholic
and making money.
Speaker 6: And you're a big alcoholic while you were advertising, Oh
big alcoholic?
Speaker 3: Interesting?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like that was the end of it
was like mad ment. You know, it's like everyone was
drinking and partying and fucking.
Speaker 3: Was it here in La Yeah? Okay, yeah, so it
was drinking and partying and fucking then a lot of money.
And I hated it.
Speaker 2: And I hated it. I know how I knew I
had to go do something else. I hate it.
Speaker 3: I hear you because I inherited money from my dad.
I mean, not a great deal. He was a teacher.
So it's not fuck you money. It's part of me. Yeah,
it's part of me. I was in this line before
you money, and it's a good feeling. But his household,
you know, oh you.
Speaker 2: Just sold it recently. Yeah so but I like like
a little Scrooge McDuck right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a little bit. But but I'm like, I realize,
and this is going to sound trite, but I realize
money doesn't really change you essentially, like it helps see,
But yeah, what are you going to say?
Speaker 2: I disagree. I know what you're I know, I disagree.
Speaker 3: I hate It's great.
Speaker 2: I hate people that say money doesn't doesn't make you happy.
Speaker 3: But I'm still a miserable fuck as far as demons
like driving on the one on one I have money.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, you have some shit you got to take
care of. But you can do it because you have
the resources.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 2: You can go to therapy, which I can go to
a gym, you can go get a trainer, which is exact.
All these things are expensive, and it's easier to be
well when you have money and you don't have to
worry about it because that stress of like where's it
coming from?
Speaker 3: By the way, I have lived my entire life with
that stress, and so I'm still My therapist is always
talking about hyper vigilance, that I'm hyper vigilant, you know,
because I grew up in kind of an angry household
and depressed household. So I was always like, what the
fuck is going on in that kind of and I'm
and then it's like I always committed to being an
actor and a comedian and I it's been not easy.
And so I've always had a big you know, fighting
for money and I think back at it now, like
the different jobs that I had to do, or you know,
my schedule. I remember one time I did the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival and I got bronchitis because it's super cold
over in Scotland and I got bronchitis near the very
end of it. Plus it's like twenty eight shows and
twenty nine nights. An hour, no opener, just a just
an intro, like this lay. They can can't do man,
this was my guy. Anyway, leg they can can't down
men peyrocom at Dave pap back Town and I would
go on anyway. I came back and I this is
going to sound like a humble preg but I thought
I was so sick and I had to do Remember
when John mulaney had a very short lived sitcom with
Martin Short. No anyway, I had to go No, But
I mean I was so sick, and I remember being
in the makeup chair and next to me is Martin
Short talking on his fucking telephone, going and make sure
that they have the uh, the evy on water and
make sure they blah blah blah the black suv Like
he was a little fucking prima donna bitch. And I
had bronchitis sitting there, like in my head, this is
what I did for many years. If I do this gig,
that's three grand, and then I have five grand, Like
that was my whole life for a long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, while he's like talking about the little amenities
that he wanted, it is.
Speaker 2: Did you see the Nikky Glazer joke about Martin Short
and Steve Martin what.
Speaker 3: Did she say, Really, I'm gonna I'm gonna opening.
Speaker 2: She was like, and I think it was Martin Short
and Steve Martiner here, which proves, like, beyond a shadow
of a doubt, you're never too old in Hollywood to
need money.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, that is so good because those
are two of my comedy idols. Yet that mouth. Those
motherfuckers are shilling. I don't know if you've seen it
for Wells Farga.
Speaker 2: Chilling, mm hmm.
Speaker 3: They're doing commercials.
Speaker 2: How big is the family tree? Who are they all paying?
I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think Steve Martin needs a new piece of art.
I mean, he's a big art collector. I don't know
what shorts about. He needs more evy on, but he does.
Speaker 2: He needs a black SUV.
Speaker 3: But that's good. I'm glad she fucking hit hit on them.
And did they do that? I love when they look
at this. You know, they go to the celebrity who's
getting reamed and they're like Leo, except I didn't like
her joke about Leo. I don't know if you saw it,
but she goes and Leonardo DiCaprio is here. Leo. I
love you, you've worked with every great director, all the
great actors, and you've did that before your girlfriend turns thirty.
And I just thought that is such old news, Like
those jokes have been going on for so long.
Speaker 2: Think her follow up joke was so smart you couldn't
exist without it. She's like, I'm sorry, I know that
was a cheap joke. I didn't want to make it.
But we know nothing else about you. You've never done
one serious interview. She's like the Oh my god. Yeah,
She's like, the only interview is from I don't know.
Speaker 7: I said that team beat team, and she said, do
you still enjoy eating pasta pasta pasta?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So it was that is great.
Speaker 2: You missed the magic and this whole episode is just
going to be us doing the Goldlazer.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't care, you know, I go after people.
Martin short go and that's what Martin, what about you do?
You just kind of do what everybody does, which is
I'm not going to say anything.
Speaker 2: But I don't really have anything bad to say because
I have no personal experience. I never get booked on
anything with anyone. I've never worked, I've never worked in
this town. I don't have anything bad. Yes, it is
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Speaker 3: You did a special at the Improv, did you know?
And you were very happy about it?
Speaker 2: No, never recorded at this When.
Speaker 3: Was your last special?
Speaker 2: I put it out like two months ago?
Speaker 3: Two months ago?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Where'd you record it in Chicago? Oh? Okay?
Speaker 2: Where at the Den Theater? Oh okay, Yeah, the one
you're thinking of. I recorded at the Hollywood Roosevelt.
Speaker 3: Oh. I like that place. Yeah, to perform and it's
a beautiful hotel.
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful hotel. I liked that little theater. Not
great acoustically.
Speaker 3: Oh is that right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a little bit like performing to a morgue.
But that's that's all right, you know what. I think
the other reality is I might just not be that good.
Like I think I can't blame every room I walk into.
It can't be every room I walk into.
Speaker 5: It might just.
Speaker 3: Be you just have to lean into your demons, which.
Speaker 2: I think you pretty much to do. And I think
that's why people don't like me. I think they're like
enough with the demons. Oh really, yeah, I think we're
a little too haunted. It's me and the demons, not you.
And oh yeah, yeah, I think there's a little too
much haunting inside of me.
Speaker 3: But you're a Midwest coal I know. I thought you
guys just farmed and had a good time. Ah, is
that what you sat?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, I mean something that does happen to you when
you're ten years old mucking horse stalls.
Speaker 3: Did you do that?
Speaker 5: Of course?
Speaker 2: Oh shit, yeah, when you're mucking shit and you're thinking
I couldn't have pict this life, or in the middle
of summer when you have to bail hay Oh god,
do you know how heavy hay bails are? And I
was like, ten, and I was like, most are strong
enough to do it. I'm like, this feels a child labor.
Speaker 3: What I like to do is go to farmers who
do that kind of heavy work and try to get
them to take gym memberships.
Speaker 2: Okay mm hmmm, Yeah, that's a good sales tactic.
Speaker 3: Just because they're so strong to begin with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what would they do with the gym membership?
Speaker 3: Right, that's the joke. But you get it and it's okay,
it's okay, but I'm sorry. Welcome to my life, right,
that's the joke.
Speaker 2: What's going on with you? When's your what are you
working on? Tell me all your secrets?
Speaker 3: Let's see, I'm going Well, I took we.
Speaker 2: Need to talk about the trip you're in a day?
Speaker 3: Yes, I oh, that's right. I took fucking like two
to three weeks off of stand up and it was
good for me because the first set I did was
the other night, like four nights ago at the Improv,
and I so didn't care. And that's lately the state
of mind that I've gotten in, which.
Speaker 2: Is good empathy. That's great, apathy, beautiful, it's.
Speaker 3: The empathy is such a cynical way of talking about it,
but it's sort of like because I need approval too much,
which has driven me my whole life, and it's exhausting.
And as you know, you never get it. No, I
mean you think you get it, you get it for
or you get it for a day, you get it
for a week.
Speaker 2: And then it's gone a minute.
Speaker 3: So that I've been lately. When I perform, I don't
I don't care that much if they like me, of
course I do.
Speaker 2: But I'm wait, pretend you don't. Well, it's an elaborate
performance art piece to pretend you don't care, but deep
down you still care.
Speaker 3: You'll never me I love it when people I mean,
we wouldn't be doing it if we didn't need that,
right right.
Speaker 2: But do you ever think that you're in I'm not
trying to blow smoke up your ass? Do you ever
think you're too smart for some crowds? Yes, I mean
it's h Yes, you are one of those comics that
I think you're one of the most brilliant people in
the world. But it flies over everyone's head.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh thank you. But I do feel like that
a lot like I just and I say it now,
I go, you know, a lot of you are dead inside.
You know. I'll just say, you know, I don't know
what I'm doing up here. I'm an artist. I feel things.
I love saying this to the audience. I feel more
than you. That's why you can't stay with me, right.
But so what I'm doing, I'm going to San Francisco.
I'm doing I don't know if you've heard of the
Throck Martin Theater. It's a it's in Marin County. Super
rich people, but it's a very hip space to play this.
Speaker 2: I think I might have done this theater before.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's it's outside of San Francisco about forty minutes.
Speaker 2: Yes, I feel like I did for what Aben No,
not Avien. It was uh it was a show that
Matteen Stewart got me booked on it. I feel like
Matteen Stewart.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Okay, Well, Dana Carvey, that's his home
to do stand up. Okay, he lives you know, of
course he lives around there, of course, So I'm doing that.
Next night, I do the San Francisco Sketch Fest at
the San Francisco Punchline. I haven't done that in a while.
Speaker 2: Sketch Beest though, Yeah, you've done twenty nineteen.
Speaker 3: I went, okay, but.
Speaker 2: I did not.
Speaker 3: I what did you see?
Speaker 6: That?
Speaker 3: Was that? You'll? Well?
Speaker 2: I was Chris Red was performing in that one, and
I what's he doing opening for him at that time?
Speaker 7: Is he.
Speaker 3: Is a Mike Mike is? Could you see if Chris
Red is still on s?
Speaker 2: And now no he's not?
Speaker 3: Oh I remember he wasn't He was kind of a
big deal.
Speaker 2: I get fired for what do you do sleeping with
Keenan's wife?
Speaker 3: No little beef there?
Speaker 2: Whoa yeah?
Speaker 3: Anyway, Anywow, that's a good that's a good thing to know.
I'm going to google that later. I love like googling
stories about people fucking up.
Speaker 2: Oh it's a little shoden Freud?
Speaker 3: Is that what shotten Freud?
Speaker 2: Did? I say that?
Speaker 3: Yes, you did? Very good? And so the after then
after the punchline that the next day I fly to Boston.
Two shows in Boston at the Comedy Studio, take a
train to New York, perform in Brooklyn twice, and then
I do some podcasts to promote my special on YouTube
called The Collapse. I filmed it in Chicago as well.
Where'd you feel Lincoln Hall? Oh?
Speaker 2: Great, okay, I'm so excited. When does it come out?
Speaker 3: It's out?
Speaker 2: Oh, why don't you tell me? I would have promoted it.
We'll put it out, We'll put you would promote it. Yeah,
I will just right now, I know. But also send
me the link called.
Speaker 3: The collapse on YouTube?
Speaker 2: And when did you put it out?
Speaker 3: Well, it first premiered and I love using that word
on veeps. Have you heard of that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, on veeps into the veeps.
Speaker 3: But it premiered on veeeps in November and then it
went to YouTube recently.
Speaker 2: Great, so awesome.
Speaker 3: Please watch the collapse.
Speaker 2: On YouTube, which is a funny thing to put on veeps.
The collapse peeps is what is? It's the collapse of streaming.
Speaker 3: It's I'm glad you even know it.
Speaker 2: I only know it because I think I got a
bogus offer from them once too.
Speaker 3: Really yeah, uh for a special?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And you said no, yeah, is that I'll put
it on YouTube.
Speaker 3: You have a big fan base, don't you. Like. I
looked up you on Instagram and you're like, have all
these fun I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, what, yeah, but it's not real. It's like, what
do you mean? Well, it's all from my first special,
my clips from my first special went super viral and
then everyone everyone was like, we want more, and then
I gave them more and they're like, she sucks now,
And I was like, what people don't understand about the
first special is I took eight years to write those jokes.
And then the second one, I know it was called
from How to Housewife from Hell from How to Housewife? Yeah,
and then my second one was horny, and then this
last one I just put out.
Speaker 4: Sorry, Dad, it sounds like there's trilogy.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So after I do Brooklyn, I stay in New
York and I promote my special on podcast, and I
do a show in mars Plains, New Jersey at a
really cool place called the Dojo, which Sam Tripoli is
part owner. Oh amazing, and Mike Romanelli is the other Great.
It's such a fun place to form. A lot of
the hip New York comics come there and perform. And
after that I go to Milan, Italy to watch the
Winter Olympics. Eddie tell me about Milan.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's a dump. Why Well, it's not only is
it a dump, but it's gonna be much worse during
the Winter Olympics. It doesn't have the infrastructure to support
the Olympics. You're gonna be participating in the Olympics trying
to get around Italy. It's gonna be like a fucking obstacle. Course,
Milan is tough. Why bombed a lot during the war?
Oh shit, they were on the wrong side.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Who was it? Who was running it?
Speaker 5: Were the axis?
Speaker 6: They were with him, Mussolini, Withsolini.
Speaker 2: Mussolini not a great guy, but they switched over right
at the end to avoid complete distress.
Speaker 3: I'm Italian, I understand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you understand switching for preservation.
Speaker 3: I'm Sicilian.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, maybe you'll enjoy it then, because you're Italian
and you'll be taking in the culture. I went with
my boyfriend and it was just ah, a trip from hell.
It's not the food wasn't as good as I wanted
it to be. It's really not a pretty city here.
Speaker 3: It's a little dangerous crime wise, a.
Speaker 2: Little dangerous, little dumpy. I just didn't you know you you.
I think idealize Italy in a way where I think
everyone should go in this summer and it looks nice
when the sun shining, but when it's raining and cold
or snowing.
Speaker 3: I'm going in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're just going to be tenth.
Speaker 3: But I'm going to take a day trip to Florence.
In a day trip to Rome.
Speaker 2: Okay, I took a day trip to Florence too. That's nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, from Milan? How was that?
Speaker 2: That's pretty? It's just nothing to write home about. Rome's great.
Speaker 3: Lawrence is the biggest center of art maybe in the world.
Speaker 2: And missed me with art? What's miss me with art?
I don't give a fuck about art.
Speaker 3: You don't do you like?
Speaker 2: Will you go look at a painting?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're one of those. Okay, do you like painting?
Speaker 2: I know I don't get it. I remember and I
knew from a young age. My mom took me to
Paris when I was very young, like eleven, and she
took us to go see, you know, at the Mona Lisa.
And I walked up at eleven years old and I said,
I don't get it. She can't imagine flying your kid
all the way?
Speaker 4: This is why I don't want kids. Can you imagine
doing something like that for your kid?
Speaker 2: And she walks up and she's like.
Speaker 3: Anne and the.
Speaker 2: Mona Lisa is terribly underwhelming. Have you ever seen her?
Speaker 3: I have not seen it in person, don't well I
understand you have to make a reservation months in advance
to see it. Now, Yeah, so crowded. Anyway, I am
excited about Okay, I am excited even.
Speaker 2: Though are you going with your wife?
Speaker 3: No? My sister and her husband?
Speaker 2: Okay? And how do you travel with them?
Speaker 3: Graciously?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? How I mean?
Speaker 2: Traveling with people is difficult?
Speaker 3: You know, like are you used to traveling with people
from doing stand up? You know?
Speaker 2: But some people really suck to travel with.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my sister and my brother in law.
Speaker 2: I love Oh great, I love that great.
Speaker 3: So but I do understand that because everybody gets a
little fucking annoyed traveling, and if the Winter Olympics are
going to be this cluster fuck of people, it may
get stressful. But you know what, part of my emotional
healing is to realize, don't fucking project about the trip
right now. Every time I do, it's anxiety revoking, right.
You know, there's kind of let's take it a day
at a time. If you remember that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yea from back in the day when I
was taking it, it was taken one day at a time.
Keep two feet in today. What's your sport that you're
going to see I love hockey. Oh see, that's a
good one. There's nothing better than hockey. Oh yeah, you're
a love Yeah, but I just love hockey. I think
I think there's no sport more challenging. I'm like, first
of all, have you tried ice skating? I just do
that first? How hard? And then the hand eye coordination
of this tiny little it's like Harry Potter in the
I feel like it's they don't get enough credit for it.
And then they're fist fighting on top of it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the fighting. I'm a big, big time
New York Ranger fan. I grew up with it. I've
been a Ranger high hockey nuts since I'm nine because
my dad was a huge hockey fan. So we used
to have season tickets to the Rangers and I just
live and die with them. And they suck so bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you you stay loyal.
Speaker 3: I do, just because it's in my DNA. Like the
people who weren't fans, they're like, they're like, oh, I've
decided to root for this team.
Speaker 2: They're not really Yeah, that's the kind of fan I am. Yes,
I'm a fairweather fan.
Speaker 3: And if I have not a real fucking no no.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not a real fan. If I have any
affiliation to a team that's kind of winning, that's that's
where I'm going. Like the Brewers this year, I was
a Brewers fan, right. I showed up and I was like, oh,
you're from wiscont Yeah, I'm like ding dong, I'm a
Brewers fan now. But then the Dodgers beat the Brewers
and I was like, and now I'm a Dodgers fan.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Mike, you're a Chicago Cubs fan. That's in your DNA.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: And those people who are like, well, that's my second
team or that's I only I only root for players,
I don't for teams, Like, don't talk trash with me.
That's not you haven't earned the right to talk trash
with me because you haven't suffered through.
Speaker 3: Your team is all about suffering. And you know this
just from your other life, from outside of sports, but
when you're.
Speaker 2: Also dating athletes, that is when you learn it's all
really about suffering. Sports is all suffering.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that just sounds so funny to me.
I would love to hear the dirt on that. Do
you talk about you've talked about I mean, people.
Speaker 2: Know I have dated athletes, but I don't get into
like the weeds. But anything you want to know, I'll
tell you it's okay. But anyway, the point is sports
is pain. All I want in life is to find
a man that loves me the way that like a
true sports fan loves his team like they watch them
go through all the seasons.
Speaker 3: Get that. Yeah, No, I don't think because I think
I think. No, I think a man who loves you
like that, uh, doesn't get into sports interesting.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have the bandwidth to love two things that exactly. Yeah,
you can only love the team or the bitching. Like yeah,
I think there's a famous quote like that somewhere.
Speaker 5: So it's me and the Chicago Bears, and no, ladies.
Speaker 6: Are you?
Speaker 3: Are you into the Bears too? They have a fun.
Speaker 2: They just curb stumped the Packers.
Speaker 3: They well, it wasn't a curb stomp. You know what
I like last night if you're a football fan, Mike Well,
I loved and I always love this watching the Steelers
get their ass kicked.
Speaker 5: And it was peaked since they had Aaron Rodgers a quarterback.
Speaker 2: I loved watching that. Aaron is just such a cock
just he was our he was our quarterback. He won
us a super Bowl whatever.
Speaker 3: He was great, well, he was good guy.
Speaker 2: He won once and everyone thought he was great one
winning one the super Bowl. Only it was just exactly
like FARV where it's like, you got one super Bowl,
everybody thought, who's scumbag defrauding? What a loser? But then
he got Parkinson, so it's like, you know, yeah, you know,
karma is a bitch. It's like, you're gonna defraud people
on welfare.
Speaker 3: That's another thing.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get smoked. God will smote you down.
Speaker 3: That's another thing about life is that it never ends well.
Speaker 6: Nobody or you're doing well for a while, yeah, and
then you're like your doctor says to you, I'm sorry
to tell you this, but you have something growing inside.
Speaker 2: Well, did that happen to you?
Speaker 5: It's not hope.
Speaker 3: Obama's long gone.
Speaker 2: Didn't you get out on a podcast?
Speaker 3: Didn't did about what you're Oh? That I had? Yeah,
Bobby Lee, that ship said I had colon cancer, which
was fucking wrong. I got pissed at him, And because
I got pissed at him, he came and did my podcast.
And because he did my podcast called Apocalypse, soon I
had more viewers than ever. I can't believe his fan base. Yeah,
but yeah, so I had and this is the worst
and I can't believe I'm talking about it. But I
have prostate cancer. Yeah I'm fine.
Speaker 2: Seems like a dick sneeze For guys, it's like a
little good. It's like a little everyone gets that if
you live, true.
Speaker 3: Men get it all the time. But it's been a
mind fuck for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it is tough wanting to die consistently
throughout life and then being told that you might die
because you're like, no, no, no, I want to be
in control.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, we have no control.
Speaker 2: We have no control.
Speaker 3: But uh, you know I have the best uc LA doctors,
blah blah blah. So I should be fine. We'll see
so far I am, you know, And I'm not gonna
worry about it, you know, because to shuffle off this
mortal coil is fine.
Speaker 2: Worries a wasted emotion. What worri is a wasted emotion.
Speaker 3: It is That's why, why the fuck do I need
to worry about blond now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, don't know.
Speaker 3: I am like, I'll like, just it'll come to me
during the day at some point Jesus said, you're doing
a lot of fucking traveling. Don't get sick in Milan. Yeah,
that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Fine. Yeah, and if you're not, oh well you had
a good run, pretty good, pretty good tombstone. Have you
thought about this?
Speaker 3: Follow me on Instagram?
Speaker 1: Wait, no, didn't we have a tombstone joke?
Speaker 3: You? I did love tombstone joke.
Speaker 2: I think it was, Oh, I'm finally turning a corner.
I remember that it was because we were in a
meeting together and you said it at the very end
of a share and I was like, that belongs on
your tombstone.
Speaker 3: Finally, Absolutely, because I've said that so many times only
to come back to the original spot.
Speaker 2: To have not turned the corn.
Speaker 3: We have not turned the corner.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The lies we tell ourselves to get by.
Speaker 3: I say that to audiences too. They don't want to.
They don't want you. You tell me if you think
it's true. But I feel like the audiences don't want
you to get too deep, like because I have said
to audiences, I said, is it wild amount of lies?
I remember doing this at the comedy store A lot
in the oar, I go, isn't it a lot? Isn't
it amazing the amount of lives lies we tell ourselves
just to get up every day, and people look at.
Speaker 2: Me, you know, like we because nobody is really thinking
that much. I would say, Unfortunately for you and I
we have this depth and it's dark down there and
we're screaming from the bottom. We're like hello, lot, and
most people are at the top and they're not thinking
about it and they're waking up and they're like, I
have to do this, I have to do this, I
have to do this, and my life is meaning. Yeah,
And people tell themselves my life has meaning.
Speaker 3: But then again, my fans or the people who get
me just go they laugh cathartically, like the people who
get me yes, and who have lived life with frustration
and are honest about it or whatever they are, and
it's so it's so funny. And I talk about this
too on stage. You see two people laughing hysterically, and
right next to them are people looking at you, at
you like you owe them money, and it's like, who
do I believe?
Speaker 2: Or somebody just playing candy Crush on their phone or.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I scold people sometimes for the phone and it
turns out there ordering drinks.
Speaker 2: Now right, Yeah, that's a tough one. I will say
this is a compliment to you. Do you know Melissa Broder,
She's a brilliant author. You would love her books. Melissa
Brod Melissa Broder and I met her through the program
and I didn't know about her. I didn't know she
was an author. I just met her and I told
her as a comedian and she was like, one of
my favorite comedians is Eddie Peppatone. And I love that
if you read her books, you will be so flattered
that she loves you because she is brilliant. She is
a brilliant writer. What's her She doesn't So she got
famous from Twitter, like back in the day she did this.
Speaker 3: Account used to famous and must ruin.
Speaker 2: He ruined everything.
Speaker 3: Nobody's on Blue Sky or threads, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean I have to just like take a step
back from all of it, just rotting my brains. But
but she got I do too. But I feel old
on it now because I'm like I can do you
feel I can tell I shouldn't be here. I feel
like I'm watching kids.
Speaker 4: Play, you know, like i feel like I'm outside of
a playground.
Speaker 3: I talk about it that I just on my story
it's just because I'm very political. It's like, uh, videos
about ice followed by a possum eating a sweet potato
because I fucking love Adam.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good mix. You gotta you gotta give
people a little levity.
Speaker 3: My friends call it tickle and slaps.
Speaker 2: Yeah, tickling slap. So Lissa, she got famous from this
tweet thread called so Sad Today, and it was just
about this.
Speaker 3: I love her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh you do you know that?
Speaker 3: I fucking did her podcast?
Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know that she ever had one?
Speaker 3: Oh you kidding? Well maybe am I? You looked that up? Melissa. See,
I didn't know her name because so.
Speaker 2: Sad what So Sad Today?
Speaker 3: Okay, So Sad Today? And she never said her name somehow,
but she interviewed.
Speaker 2: Me, oh eating Alone in my Car?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, and we did it on the phone.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, listen to So Sad Today's Eating Alone
in My Car podcast on Apple Podcasts. I didn't know
she had a podcast. That's great. She's obsessed with you.
Speaker 3: She always would like my stum.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's the kind of person who has this insane depth.
It's the depth of an artist, you know, that can
recognize what you're doing.
Speaker 3: And I think game recognize his game.
Speaker 2: Game recognizes his game. And I think that's why some
you lose some people because there isn't not everyone's that.
There's a lot of people, especially in LA that are
only as deep as a puddle, is it?
Speaker 3: Especially here?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And they like it. It's a nice life. It's a
nice life up there in the puddle.
Speaker 3: I'll say something deep and then i'll follow it with
if it doesn't that much of reaction, I'll say, don't worry.
I'm definitely going to be talking about Batman and pussy soon.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then you never do, and then you just
say that. I just then you get off stage.
Speaker 3: Good, I'm never going to see you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good night. I love you so much.
Speaker 3: I love you.
Speaker 2: I'm such a fan of you, and I am so
excited for your sobriety. Good luck.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how are you doing great?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm fine. Here's the thing. I'm fine. No, I'm not.
It's one of those things where I lie to myself
that about any I almost got arrested on an airplane
the other day. I was vaping in the room.
Speaker 3: Wheat. Oh wow, you're fucking just like me when I
was smoking, which was only eight months ago. Ah, I
would love and this I thought was very dangerous. I
would love to smoke in airports. I would just go
into the bathroom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, same airport bathroom. Well, and here's the thing. I
got away with it for a long time because.
Speaker 3: I figured you do bathroom on the pileoplane.
Speaker 2: And I figured out a system, which is that if
you exhale into the toilet while you flush it, that
air takes it out. But what had happened. What had
happened was I went in there and I stuck the
vape in my mouth, and then I did have to
go to the bathroom, and I noticed the guy before
me pissed all over the seat, so I had to
clean it up. And while I was cleaning, I was inhaling,
and I forgot that I was inhaling the whole time
I was cleaning somebody this specific vape. If I took
a little hit, almost no smoke came out. But if
I take a big hit, it's like an atom bomb.
And I cleaned the whole toilet and then I exhaled,
and then a plume of smoke came out of the cabin.
And then I go and I was like oh fuck,
and I just didn't yeah, and I didn't say anything.
And then I got another pound on the door and
I was just like yeah, and they're like, you're smoking
in there, and I was like, no.
Speaker 3: Of course, you admit to it.
Speaker 2: I was like. And then they're like, I mean obviously
I was smoking in there, and they're like you need
to stand right here, and then the whole plane's looking
at me, and it was such a like shame ritual,
you know. I was just like, this is so annoying.
And then I go back to my seat and then
they come they're like, what's your name? And I'm like,
shoudn't you now, Like I'm sitting in a seat that's
a signed to me, you know, my fucking name. Don't
make me say my name so that like you can
be like and so what happened? So this is you know, assassin.
Little gay guy was like, there's gonna be there's gonna
be an agent waiting for you at the gate and
they'll be waiting to talk to you. And I was like, okay, great,
I was not happy. I was and also I'm high,
so I mean talk about what.
Speaker 3: A little prick to do that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know you're killing by high.
Speaker 3: Don't do that. Tell me.
Speaker 2: A couple hours later, you get fucking arrested. I walk
off the New York to l A and I got caught.
Speaker 3: That's a vape, you know, that's a long.
Speaker 2: But I was about three hours in three hours to go,
so I just do gummy, see, And that would have
been the wise thing to do, but I just I
was feeling above the law and I do want to
a point. And here's the thing with my my progression
back into weed. It always starts with like a two
milligram gummy, Yes, three times a week, That's why I
and then I'm just like, it's easy, and then it
escalates to me getting arrested on adulta flight.
Speaker 3: You know what is the worst part about being an
addict is that you're like, let me just enjoy what
normal people enjoy, the two milligram gummy or five million,
But it does slipper. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So then what happened is I panicked for the
entire time I was, and then I meditated, and then
I prayed, and then I was like, you know, it's
not going to be good.
Speaker 3: I love that progression. Meditated eating should be in there.
Speaker 2: So yeah, no, and then I prayed, and then I
just was like, you know what, if getting arrested is
part of my journey again, then that's God's plan.
Speaker 3: You've been arrested before, Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went to jail for d u I And
I'm like, but what would be funny is that I've
openly talked about my sobriety struggles with sobriety, but also sobriety,
like I have talked about being sober. It would be
very funny to just be like Britney Schmid arrests for
vaping in a fucking path sid can't get it together.
Her family might be right about it, thank you. Yeah.
So anyway, what happened is the guys like, you know,
there's gonna be a guy waiting for you. I was like, great,
whenever I get off the plane, nobody was waiting for me,
and if somebody was, I just didn't make eye contact
with anyone when I got off the flight and I
just booked it out of LA.
Speaker 3: So he kind of thought it over and said.
Speaker 2: Fuck, you might have seen my status. He might have
dim Indo metallion. We're not gonna be able to do it.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: I love it. Dime is gonna let you vape if
your diamond to medallion, it's in the fine print.
Speaker 2: It's in the fine print of the medallion stuff.
Speaker 3: Look, we need all this is the pilot speaking to
the flat. We need all the Diamond Medallion members we
can get. Don't fuck with her, Arnie.
Speaker 2: Leave her alone. She turns twenty thousand dollars your fly.
Speaker 3: Leave her alone. What's your next trip after you move?
Speaker 2: Well, so before I move, I do the Avian Awards.
I host the Avian in Vegas. Right in Vegas.
Speaker 3: Have you done that before?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 3: No, okay, no, first time.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll see how it goes. And then I have Rally,
and then I have Nashville, and then I have Austin,
and then I go to San Diego to do it
don't tell taping, and then I love this fly to me.
And then I go to Home Beach and then I'm there.
Speaker 3: I like that. I like, yeah, that's right. I looked
at that. And where in Nashville.
Speaker 2: Them I'll staying at right, Yeah, I'll be staying at THEOS.
But I'm doing the lab at Zanie's.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, I like Zany's in Nashville. But Austin.
I've performed in so many times. Where are you doing it? Oh? Okay,
they never fucking booked me.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm sure I don't get booked at the places
that you get booked at. Have you done the mother Ship?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Interesting because I'm a little bit of an elitist. Oh
you are, like, I'm like, if you got like I
really you don't want me.
Speaker 2: I don't want you. Correct like you you're notkno door.
Speaker 3: Because the guy booking it, you know, got me into
the comedy store, Adam and they're so flooded with comics
or whatever, and he doesn't seek me out, and I
don't seek him out. And my manager actually asked him,
you know, ken Eddy, and he did the usual like
will will let me let me see?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll get you.
Speaker 3: Never get back to you. So I'm like, and plus,
you know all the ship that's going on there with
you know, that whole scene. I'm not I would like
to do it, just to fucking do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just so it wouldn't be such an echo chamber
of politics in that particular club. Yeah, it would be
nice to get a little diversity in there.
Speaker 3: It's a big scene and it has so I mean
Elon Musk hangs out there are used to all the time. Yeah,
so it's more than just a place for comedy. It's
a fucking whole zeit guys of stuff. You know, I
have no interest in dors Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's
so funny about Rogan because every time I see your
Rogan he is so nice to be. Yeah, and so
many people he ate him because of vaccine ship and
all the people. Yeah, you know, he helped get tru Yeah.
Speaker 2: He's he's a sweet, divisive person publicly, but I think
privately he's very kind. He's never been anything.
Speaker 3: But he pays the comics an incredible amount.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very generous, very generous. So anyway, neither of us
are pasted at the Mothership, so you won't see us there.
But eddiewhere can they find you? Tell them everything?
Speaker 3: Yes, well the mothership for finding me is Eddie pepatone
dot com. And that links you to my Instagram and
all my show dates and Veno and my podcast. But
I don't need it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love you so much, thank you, thank you.
Oh wait, sorry, we're not done, Eddie. We have to
do Word of the Week. I must. I almost listen.
I'm trying to make all my listeners smarter. Okay, do
you consider yourself a vocabulary slut?
Speaker 3: Mmm? I like learning.
Speaker 2: You like a word? You like a word here and there?
Speaker 3: I like a word. I love a good word.
Speaker 2: You like you love a good word. Okay, I don't
even know if I'm gonna be able to say this one. Elocution?
Oh yeah, do you know that one?
Speaker 3: Yes, it means to speak. Let's see what would be
the word? Elocution means you speak very clearly. That's what
I would say. It is.
Speaker 5: Wow, I've heard people say elocutionis That's how I've heard
it that.
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's a word.
Speaker 2: That's a different word completely.
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's a word.
Speaker 2: Elocution means an individual style of public speech. Unlike eloquence,
which has to do with the content of a person's speech,
elocution refers to the manner in which the speech is delivered.
I would say your elocution is a whisper. You do
like this, like sultry.
Speaker 3: Like you know what do you like that? I love
yelling and then going to the whispering. People love me
like to get chulted.
Speaker 2: Okay, we I'm gonna do another one. I'm gonna do
one until I stump you. Cavalcade.
Speaker 3: Oh, A cavalcade is a it's like an onslaught of things.
It's like a lot of different things. It's like a
bunch of things coming at.
Speaker 2: You, a procession, especially when involving people on horses or
in vehicles.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's from cavalry, Yeah, cavalcade.
Speaker 2: Wow, you're really good at this. Really, you're pretty good
at this. I mean every time I have someone on
the podcast, I don't know the word that I pick,
which maybe just means I'm having idiot's on here. Okay,
we're gonna do one more and then we're gonna be done.
I'm gonna stump you on this one. A fulgent Oh
maybe it's a full jint.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a fulgan effulgent, full gent way. That is a
good one. And I've heard it and I've seen it.
Speaker 2: It's an adjective, Okay, I think.
Speaker 3: It means like very lively, very wow.
Speaker 2: You are fucking good at this. It's radiant, brilliantly shining.
Something that's effulgent shines resplendently. Yes, wow, you're a genius.
Speaker 3: Okay, what book is that?
Speaker 2: It's words you should know, and you know them, all
three of them anyway, so you don't need physogyny. Come on, facage.
I don't even know how to say this word.
Speaker 3: I can't read.
Speaker 2: Can you say that?
Speaker 3: Oh, physiogoy, physiognomy, physiognomy.
Speaker 2: Physio physiognomy. Do you know that? Do you know what
that is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's like relating to your physical What the fuck?
Speaker 2: I think I need to sign you up for some
sort of contest?
Speaker 3: I know I am not.
Speaker 2: I am not that guy relating to.
Speaker 3: The watch Jeopardy. I don't know anything.
Speaker 7: Okay, this guy crossword puzzles hard maybe spelling yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2: Spelling ba All right, Eddie, I love you, I love you.
Speaker 3: Whoa that was fun.
Speaker 6: H