Speaker 1: Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song.
Speaker 2: Welcome the Talking Point with Ray.
Speaker 3: Sen You Angeler, discussing the hot topics and answering your.
Speaker 2: Questions, Saturdays five to seven pm.
Speaker 4: On Adventist Radio London.
Speaker 5: It's talking Point.
Speaker 6: It's talking Point.
Speaker 2: It's talking Point, it's talking Point, real conversations. You need
Speaker 2: to have.
Speaker 7: Good evening, good evening, and welcome to Talking Point. It
Speaker 7: is another Sabbath evening, February the fifteenth, and thank you for.
Speaker 4: Joining recording in this progress evening.
Speaker 7: I hope you've had a good day here, good Sabbath
Speaker 7: wherever you've been and what have you whatever you've been
Speaker 7: doing here in I'd love to say here in sunny Watford,
Speaker 7: it is no longer sunny. We had quite a nice yesterday,
Speaker 7: but it is maybe a typically February day, but it's
Speaker 7: quite gray and it's been starting to rain as well.
Speaker 7: But regardless of that, there is sunshine right here. And
Speaker 7: I'm glad that you were able to join us to
Speaker 7: join our discussion. Today. We will pray to start and
Speaker 7: then we'll go into the next installment of our relationship series.
Speaker 7: This whole month of February, we've been talking about relationships,
Speaker 7: and we are We've been having some really interesting conversations
Speaker 7: and this week we are kind of looking at the solutions.
Speaker 7: How can you actually have a really good relationship, whether
Speaker 7: that's a friendship, a working relationship, or romantic one or
Speaker 7: a marriage one. So we've got a good panel of
Speaker 7: guests on with us today, so we're going to be
Speaker 7: discussing that. But let's pray to start and then we
Speaker 7: can get going. Father God, I want to thank you
Speaker 7: for blessing us with a wonderful Sabbath day, Dear Lord,
Speaker 7: and I hope that wherever people have been that they
Speaker 7: indeed had a blessing from what they received, what they heard,
Speaker 7: what they took part in what they worship. Dear Lord,
Speaker 7: I pray now that as we start our show talking point,
Speaker 7: that you will bless it. You'll bless all our guess
Speaker 7: who have come on to share their insights and their
Speaker 7: expertise and their experiences. Dear Lord, and I pray that
Speaker 7: those who are listening will gain a blessing, will learn something,
Speaker 7: and it will be we'll have a good time in you,
Speaker 7: dear Lord, and thank you for being such a wonderful
Speaker 7: God and for blessing us and for loving us, dear Lord,
Speaker 7: and I pray that your love will be an example
Speaker 7: for us to follow, to share that with others, And
Speaker 7: thank you for hearing and answering.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 7: Okay, So it is another week of February, another week
Speaker 7: of love, and I guess if you are in the UK,
Speaker 7: I'm not sure about it around the world. Actually, yesterday
Speaker 7: was Valentine's Day, so traditionally loveday, and I recognize that,
Speaker 7: you know, not necessarily into the whole commercialism of everything,
Speaker 7: and ideally love should be something that you're celebrating year
Speaker 7: round every day. But it was traditionally Valentine's Day, the
Speaker 7: day of love, and that kind of ties in nicely
Speaker 7: with our month of February month and love. And we've
Speaker 7: been talking about relationships and we've kind of, I guess
Speaker 7: tagged it in the sense of I'm sure people have
Speaker 7: heard of this the men of from Mars, women of
Speaker 7: and Venus kind of tagline. So we've been kind of
Speaker 7: really highlighting the differences between men and women and how
Speaker 7: they see relationships, how they do relationships, and I guess
Speaker 7: when we come together, how that all works out. So
Speaker 7: last week, if you joined us, you would have heard
Speaker 7: our panel of ladies were on discussing all things relationships.
Speaker 7: They're responding to some of the previous show that we
Speaker 7: did back in November with a group of men who
Speaker 7: were talking about sharing their insights into relationships, which is
Speaker 7: quite interesting. So we did sort of pull on some
Speaker 7: of those points as well. But this week we've got
Speaker 7: a mixed so hopefully we'll get some more insights. But
Speaker 7: what we really want to talk about to date is
Speaker 7: some solutions. So that's what we want to talk about
Speaker 7: todate how you can have successful relationships and how you
Speaker 7: can have successful connections or you know, good relationships all around.
Speaker 7: So if you want to join in with the conversation,
Speaker 7: please do. We'd love to hear from you every week.
Speaker 7: We always say this, and sometimes we hear from people,
Speaker 7: sometimes we don't. But if you want to join in
Speaker 7: the conversation, share your thoughts, share your opinions or your
Speaker 7: own experiences, you can email us on studio at Adventage
Speaker 7: Radio dot London, or you can send us a text
Speaker 7: message at eight triple to eight write hope, leave a
Speaker 7: space and then your message, or you can send us
Speaker 7: a WhatsApp on zero seven four five nine six four
Speaker 7: to eight nine eights, So do join in the conversation
Speaker 7: and let us know your thoughts. So let's just check
Speaker 7: in seat. It's myself off in studio by myself today,
Speaker 7: but I do have my co hosts some with me today,
Speaker 7: So let's go to pedro.
Speaker 1: How are you doing.
Speaker 5: Afternoon talking point? And thank everybody for joining us today.
Speaker 1: So you had a good week.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, definitely had a good week, really fast week. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: nothing really, it's just you know, same old, same old
Speaker 5: other dollar another die. I'm gonna do a different phrase today,
Speaker 5: you know, just you know, no work and kids and
Speaker 5: you know, just maintaining and you know, learning something every day.
Speaker 5: I think we learned. I think in life, we learned
Speaker 5: something every day that you probably didn't think you would learn,
Speaker 5: even if you're like especially have teenagers. Yes, for me personally,
Speaker 5: you know having teenagers. Just yeah, it's definitely something different
Speaker 5: that I learned every day. So for me, just you know,
Speaker 5: maintaining and just you know, thanking the Lord for airing
Speaker 5: my lungs and for a healthy family.
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 5: So yeah, especially this cold and everything going around.
Speaker 7: Yes, yes, indeed, lesson about that. I felt a few
Speaker 7: sniffles myself this week and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 7: don't want a cold in this cold weather.
Speaker 1: Again.
Speaker 7: I've had enough time, so yeah, hopefully leave that one alone.
Speaker 1: Cool said, yeah, how are you doing.
Speaker 3: I'm well, good evening everyone, the panelist. We've got a
Speaker 3: full house tonight this evening.
Speaker 6: And also two hour listens. It's when good to have
Speaker 6: you tuned in. My week was good.
Speaker 3: Yesterday Valentine's Day, but also my mom's birthday yesterday. I've
Speaker 3: got to do half half half about the mother's love
Speaker 3: and then the other half about.
Speaker 1: The other love love, birthday, mummy.
Speaker 6: So grateful, God is so so good, so good.
Speaker 5: Day yesterday.
Speaker 6: Oh my goodness, I celebrak. I know you say that.
Speaker 5: I know and forgot that you just said that that
Speaker 5: was Valentine's Day.
Speaker 6: That might be a point of discussion.
Speaker 5: That's another discussion at another time. Yeah, but I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't say limit any holidays, birthdays, Christmas, New Year's.
Speaker 1: Nothing interesting, I don't interesting.
Speaker 7: Well, okay, so we've got a full house today, as
Speaker 7: you said.
Speaker 1: So how you how you?
Speaker 6: I know, we do have to jump in at.
Speaker 7: It was busy as always. Yeah, it's a bit up
Speaker 7: and down, and if you're sitting in the background. That's
Speaker 7: my mum in the studio with me today, so we
Speaker 7: might have a musical accompaniment for that as well.
Speaker 1: But yeah, my week's not been too bad.
Speaker 7: But up and down. Yeah, gone very quickly. I wonder
Speaker 7: whether I've achieved a great deal.
Speaker 1: But here we are, here we are. So we've got a.
Speaker 7: Full house today, She said to Danya, someone to quickly
Speaker 7: go around and say hi to everybody, and then we
Speaker 7: will make a start. I'll play a piece of music
Speaker 7: and then we'll make a start. So if you were
Speaker 7: with us last week, who was on last week with us?
Speaker 7: Oh we had, I'm gonna start with Geraldine. So Geraldine,
Speaker 7: do say hello and introduce yourself. That's all right, Hi,
Speaker 7: how are you tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Geraldine.
Speaker 8: I'm a psychologist and I coach. I work on the
Speaker 8: Better Help platform. I have an actors and I'm a
Speaker 8: spiritual woman. Oh god, and.
Speaker 7: Cool, cool, cool, Okay, thank you for joining us and
Speaker 7: welcome back. And it was great to hear from you
Speaker 7: last week. So I'm looking forward to your insights this
Speaker 7: week as well and last week hopefully.
Speaker 1: Shannon.
Speaker 7: I know you're having some technical difficulties. Shannon are you
Speaker 7: with us? Can we hear you?
Speaker 6: Hi?
Speaker 4: Are you able to hear me?
Speaker 7: I am Yes, we're hearing your lad clear. So I
Speaker 7: just introduce yourself. Tell us little bit about yourself as well.
Speaker 4: My name is Shannon, Shannon Curtis.
Speaker 9: I'm a writer of Finding You Mental Wellness Explored, and
Speaker 9: this week has been.
Speaker 6: Amazing in that I've written.
Speaker 9: I've completed another two books and well accomplished.
Speaker 4: Yes, so yeah.
Speaker 7: We'll have to get you. We'll have to get you
Speaker 7: with another show when we're doing around after. We do
Speaker 7: have a lot of authors on some coming in, so
Speaker 7: definitely would be good to highlight your work there. But
Speaker 7: thank you for joining us as well. And then I'm
Speaker 7: going to go to one of our gentlemen. I'm going
Speaker 7: to go to Hilton. So, Hilton, you've been on the
Speaker 7: show before. Gonna say this time last year. Really wasn't
Speaker 7: this time last year last year? So welcome back and
Speaker 7: thank you for joining us this evening. Tell me a
Speaker 7: little bit about yourself, tell our listeners who you are,
Speaker 7: what you.
Speaker 2: Do well, it's promptly is a pleasure to be on
Speaker 2: the shore. Just confirm that you can hear me.
Speaker 1: I can hear you.
Speaker 4: Fuye.
Speaker 2: Okay, wonderful name me Sirtain Samuel, and I concidentize her
Speaker 2: to be an apostle to families. I help people fix
Speaker 2: the broken marriages and their hope singles, perhaps sign the
Speaker 2: right person for them.
Speaker 7: Cool, lovely, So again another of our experts, as it were,
Speaker 7: looking forward to hearing your insights and then joining us.
Speaker 7: We've got two newer guests. We have Sharday. So I'm
Speaker 7: gonna say, Shady, if you want to come off mute
Speaker 7: and introduce yourself. We met Shade a few weeks ago
Speaker 7: Overreatchick'm so welcome.
Speaker 1: Says a bit about yourself.
Speaker 4: Thank you hire. My name is Shade. I'm a hairdresser.
Speaker 10: I've been a headresson for about twenty six years now,
Speaker 10: so my whole life really.
Speaker 4: I am a mom.
Speaker 10: Of two, well three really because my niece is like
Speaker 10: my daughter. She lives with us, and yeah, been married
Speaker 10: for two years. Been good actually, like it's quite surprising
Speaker 10: that I didn't think it would be this easy. But
Speaker 10: then it's only two years in so we'll see how
Speaker 10: that goes. But I thank God, so far, so good,
Speaker 10: and yeah, I'm happy to be here and maybe share
Speaker 10: something inside with you guys, because in the salon, like
Speaker 10: you know, I'm not like a lot of people have
Speaker 10: trained thervice, I am be doing they even.
Speaker 4: Though I'm qualified. Or in the salon we all talk.
Speaker 10: It's a space where a woman can be comfortable and
Speaker 10: we can like trust in each other, confide each other
Speaker 10: and advise each other. So yeah, maybe some of that
Speaker 10: I might be able to bring to the table tonight.
Speaker 1: Yes, I bet you're saying.
Speaker 7: Actually, when we're rich, is it in terms of you
Speaker 7: must hear a lot people?
Speaker 1: You know, it's like you said, it's a safe plenty.
Speaker 7: It's a safe space and people feel comfortable, you know, talking,
Speaker 7: you have conversations, So I'm sure you must hear quite
Speaker 7: a lot. So yes, looking into insights there. And then
Speaker 7: we also have another new guest done with us today.
Speaker 7: Geraldine mentioned him earlier, but I'm going to welcome Garth
Speaker 7: to our panel today. Hi Garth, you're trying to come up,
Speaker 7: come off you and let us know introduce yourself.
Speaker 11: I Hi, good afternoon, that's my pleasure. Happy sober all
Speaker 11: and the rest especially, I'm from and Tobago. I'm a teacher,
Speaker 11: I'm a counselor, I'm a head coach, I'm a friend,
Speaker 11: I'm a fiance, a daddy, it's the corner man father, and.
Speaker 12: I am you're one of.
Speaker 11: Your presenters this evening, cool responsors, this evening.
Speaker 7: Okay, lovely, and thank you for joining And you're joining
Speaker 7: us from am.
Speaker 11: I am I doing soon because I'm not seeing myself.
Speaker 7: I can see you, but that's fine. I can see you,
Speaker 7: but I understand you're actually you're in Trinidad at the moment,
Speaker 7: So thank you for joining us a little earlier than us.
Speaker 7: We're kind of coming to the end of the day
Speaker 7: and I guess you're kind of midday ISHU as well there,
Speaker 7: So so yeah, we've got a full house here today
Speaker 7: and thank you all for joining us. And as I said,
Speaker 7: we're going to be looking at solutions to making our
Speaker 7: relationships and our connections work. We've I'm sure we've all
Speaker 7: had various experiences over the years, some good, some maybe
Speaker 7: not so good. But I'm sure there are some top tips,
Speaker 7: some cree strategies, key things that will help us make
Speaker 7: better connections and have good relationships. So that's what we
Speaker 7: want to hear from moms today. We talked a lot
Speaker 7: about there's quite a few things that came out of
Speaker 7: both of the conversations with the men and the women
Speaker 7: about how things can be done, the challenges that there are.
Speaker 7: But what we want to do is leave our listeners
Speaker 7: with some good information as to how we can have
Speaker 7: successful relationships at whatever point we are. So I'm going
Speaker 7: to start off with a piece of music. I'm going
Speaker 7: to go with Kat Franklin's love theory, and then we're
Speaker 7: going to hop into our questions and get into our discussion.
Speaker 7: So Kat Franklin with love theory.
Speaker 13: Brothers and sisters, I want to welcome you back to life,
Speaker 13: back to the one. They can make your next chapter
Speaker 13: your best chapter.
Speaker 6: How a man?
Speaker 4: How good you see.
Speaker 2: Your life?
Speaker 9: Was?
Speaker 1: They legging?
Speaker 14: Funny? Two big, great and some face it with you
Speaker 14: a win? Even everything here I can pull like you
Speaker 14: go away, Come on, he said, A day.
Speaker 15: That's a pusson funny profile makes my fey like.
Speaker 4: That's why nobody but you.
Speaker 14: I don't wanna love nobody but you. I don't wanna
Speaker 14: love nobody nobody for you.
Speaker 2: Let's go Nick every one the massic grace of Julian you.
Speaker 1: Cover me became me.
Speaker 16: I appreciate it as it's amazing concutations with big I
Speaker 16: will that you don't give up on me, help me healthy,
Speaker 16: succe than you like you, com everything, my God.
Speaker 13: Let me tell you when it goes, say and you will.
Speaker 4: Hallelujah.
Speaker 13: That's not fuss, not enough like this, And I promise.
Speaker 4: You like you.
Speaker 1: That's why.
Speaker 4: You Yes, I don't want to know about it, No.
Speaker 1: Sir, storm over, No, that's right.
Speaker 17: I don't want to.
Speaker 18: Know nobody nobody and the church saying, come on, Jesus
Speaker 18: loving you it sounds crazy, don't hey.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what it means.
Speaker 16: That's why I want to love no body.
Speaker 14: But I don't want to love no.
Speaker 2: I don't want to love nobody.
Speaker 13: Nobody, but I really mean at this time.
Speaker 14: Jesus, nobody.
Speaker 13: Let me tell you when it goes.
Speaker 3: Come on.
Speaker 13: People, let you down, Mike. See, I will never final
Speaker 13: I love like the.
Speaker 19: Form of the day. Let me again, so cold the
Speaker 19: rest of my life.
Speaker 20: Thank you, everybody to love you.
Speaker 13: You're a savior.
Speaker 2: No, thank you.
Speaker 4: I don't want to love no.
Speaker 2: I want to love nobody, love nobody.
Speaker 7: But you, Okay, Kat Franklin love theory. So we are
Speaker 7: joined by a wonderful panel this evening we're going to
Speaker 7: be talking about, As I said, this is our month
Speaker 7: of relationships, and we've kind of been looking at, I suppose,
Speaker 7: the differences between men and women in terms of how
Speaker 7: they view relationships generally from friendships to maybe working relationships
Speaker 7: and then moving into the kind of more romantic or
Speaker 7: a little bit about dating and going hopefully to move
Speaker 7: into marriage. But it's a challenge along the way. And
Speaker 7: you know, each of the sessions that we've had have
Speaker 7: kind of highlighted that. But today we really want to
Speaker 7: talk about what we can do to have more successful relationships.
Speaker 7: And I've kind of sort of thought, sort of thought
Speaker 7: about this in terms of four different areas in terms
Speaker 7: of things that we can do as individuals, because one
Speaker 7: of the things that was coming out in some of
Speaker 7: the conversations was, you know, women are like this or
Speaker 7: men are like this. So really I kind of said, okay, well,
Speaker 7: there are differences between men and women. We may approach
Speaker 7: and we may have quite there were some general things
Speaker 7: the points that were coming out, how men can be
Speaker 7: sometimes less emotional, or they don't talk as much, et cetera.
Speaker 7: And again that's a very wide genuinalization, whereas women could
Speaker 7: be a lot more in tune with their emotions, they
Speaker 7: talk a lot more, they communicate a different way. But
Speaker 7: they were also on the flip side, big differences And
Speaker 7: this maybe could be a generational thing as well in
Speaker 7: terms of how we communicate with each other, how we
Speaker 7: connect with each other, and the challenges and there may
Speaker 7: be some differences that happen now that were very different
Speaker 7: for years ago. So again I'm going to look at
Speaker 7: some of those things there as well and think, Okay,
Speaker 7: with all these changes and the way people do things,
Speaker 7: can we be successful in our relationships and our connections?
Speaker 7: So I guess as a starting point, how can we
Speaker 7: as individuals? I suppose what can we contribute to our relationships?
Speaker 7: So if I'm thinking, okay, if I'm not in a
Speaker 7: I'm not talking about my management, If I want to
Speaker 7: kind of meet somebody and I want to make a connection,
Speaker 7: what can I do that puts my best foot forward
Speaker 7: to have a success. Yes, for connection relationship, you know,
Speaker 7: a relation relationship, being relational with somebody else? What can
Speaker 7: I do for myself? And is it very different for
Speaker 7: me as a woman as it would be for a
Speaker 7: man in terms of what I would do? Have it
Speaker 7: come across because I know again I remember last week
Speaker 7: men need to step up, and I think previously it's
Speaker 7: women need to be more feminine and need to be
Speaker 7: a bit more approachable. So I'm going to throw that
Speaker 7: out there as a first question to start off. Anybody,
Speaker 7: any of your thoughts on that one.
Speaker 20: I don't know what.
Speaker 3: I'll jump in well, so everyone else cass their thoughts.
Speaker 6: The the the.
Speaker 3: I mean, Hilton, you you said it nicely before in
Speaker 3: November when you were on, and I thought that was
Speaker 3: such a good point to make, and of course it
Speaker 3: was disputed or not disputed, but discussed the fact that
Speaker 3: our women communicate, our men communicate functionally. Or if I'm
Speaker 3: not muship from saying it right, you'll have to correct
Speaker 3: me or a mend what I've said. But you're saying
Speaker 3: that our men tend to communicate just for specific purposes.
Speaker 6: There is a need, there is an.
Speaker 3: Issue that needs to be addressed, and they go in
Speaker 3: and they talk about it very briefly, and the job
Speaker 3: is done and they move on. Whereas our women, we
Speaker 3: will multitask. We will talk about X, Y and Z,
Speaker 3: the point we called about, the point about yesterday. We'll
Speaker 3: maybe go around the bush epic is what Pedro said
Speaker 3: before we actually get to the issue, and you describe
Speaker 3: that as one of the fundamental differences in how we communicate,
Speaker 3: and perhaps that photos or bubbles up to how our
Speaker 3: relationships are different men from women.
Speaker 6: So I'd probably just ask you to just elaborate.
Speaker 3: On that a little bit more and then maybe tell
Speaker 3: us how that feeds into the question that's been posed. Now,
Speaker 3: how can we as men and women maybe adjust our
Speaker 3: styles if if everyone's concluding that that is how it
Speaker 3: is for most, how can we adjust out our styles
Speaker 3: to make ourselves more.
Speaker 6: I don't know what the word is going today.
Speaker 3: Attract There you're going through attractive to the other to
Speaker 3: the other sex.
Speaker 6: So let me let you start that off from memory.
Speaker 6: Can you can take it from them?
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for that. I can't exactly remember that
Speaker 2: the context and the things that actually said, but as
Speaker 2: you were speaking, something came to my mind in terms
Speaker 2: of tweaking that many people some people connect to talk
Speaker 2: and some people talk to connect.
Speaker 6: That's exactly what you said. Oh that's what I said. Okay, yes,
Speaker 6: and and.
Speaker 2: I feel that generally speaking, again, these are generalization. You know,
Speaker 2: we've taken them with a pinch of salt that lots
Speaker 2: lots of women tend to talk to connect and as
Speaker 2: they speak, they you know, things get clearer in their minds.
Speaker 2: They process things in that in that kind of way,
Speaker 2: whereas no, no, actually is the other way around. Now
Speaker 2: I'm confused, right, well, let me just let me process
Speaker 2: this because I actually want to go off on a
Speaker 2: slightly different tangent with regards to the whole aspect of
Speaker 2: navigating the world of dating and attracting and all that
Speaker 2: sort of thing. And uh, and I think that there
Speaker 2: are two fundamental things that researchers found the evidence that
Speaker 2: human beings. So they are general things that human beings
Speaker 2: looking look for. There are gender specific things that people
Speaker 2: look for. And then there are personal things that people
Speaker 2: look for. So which one do you want me to
Speaker 2: start with? First? The general, gender specific or you know,
Speaker 2: and then there are personal things and probably.
Speaker 6: A good place to start again, a good place.
Speaker 2: Yes, general. In order to have a very powerful, what
Speaker 2: I call rock solid, high performing divorced relationship, there are
Speaker 2: two characteristic top qualities that we have found is really
Speaker 2: essential both in men and women, and these are compassion
Speaker 2: and kindness. Compassion and kindness or niceness that if you
Speaker 2: have these qualities, you make a very very powerful and
Speaker 2: your relationship will go a long way. And I'll just
Speaker 2: expound on what we think those two qualities are. I mean,
Speaker 2: many people hear these terms and probably know them, but
Speaker 2: I want to just specifically explain what we consider to
Speaker 2: be compassion and what we consider to be kindness compassion,
Speaker 2: and I think many people know this is the ability
Speaker 2: to empathize and sympathize. But however, there is an other
Speaker 2: element and dimension that people don't really think about when
Speaker 2: they think about compassion. Compassion is to understand, to empathize,
Speaker 2: to probably put yourself in another person's shoes. But beyond
Speaker 2: that is to is the desire to help the other person,
Speaker 2: particularly when they're going through a bad patch, when they're
Speaker 2: when they're down and out, when they are going through grief,
Speaker 2: or when they're going through when when you're compassionate, you
Speaker 2: have a desire to help, a desire to make it
Speaker 2: better if you can, a desire if you if you
Speaker 2: think a very good example I've heard this guy use,
Speaker 2: if you if you're walking in the forest, or if
Speaker 2: you meet a car accident and you see a little
Speaker 2: child inside the car, crying. Most of us, the vast
Speaker 2: majority of us, would want to help, you know, we
Speaker 2: want to comfort that child. We want to, you know,
Speaker 2: bring some kind of solace. So that's compassion come Kindness
Speaker 2: is the flip side of that. Kindness is actually desiring
Speaker 2: the happiness of someone and wanting to Again, there's a
Speaker 2: desire wanting to facilitate that, to help that, and to
Speaker 2: augment that. So if you have these two qualities, you
Speaker 2: become a very attractive person, very young, skin deep. I
Speaker 2: know some of you are here, you look the part
Speaker 2: you know, wonderful and beautiful, and then you know, but
Speaker 2: all of us know that beauty skin deep. But when
Speaker 2: people get to know you and understand that you have
Speaker 2: these qualities, people would be drawn to you. I don't
Speaker 2: know if I should just pause and let other people
Speaker 2: just chime in here rather than dominate the conversation.
Speaker 7: Okay, well that's a really interesting point. So I guess
Speaker 7: based on my question, so if I can demonstrate compassion
Speaker 7: and kindness.
Speaker 1: I could be off to a really good start.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the Bible is quite clear on that. If
Speaker 2: we from a biblio centric point of view, when Paul
Speaker 2: speaks about I think it's in effhesions for be kind
Speaker 2: one to another, tender hearted, you know, tend the heartedness
Speaker 2: is compassionate, being compassionate kindness. He mentions that there, and
Speaker 2: then he goes on to say being able to forgive
Speaker 2: him as God for christ sake has forgiveness. So I
Speaker 2: just wanted to slip in that that that aspect the biblical,
Speaker 2: the biblical centric perspective on that.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, thank you for that. Any other thoughts I have.
Speaker 4: And then okay, go ahead, Okay, that's really great.
Speaker 10: I was just thinking sometimes based on the conversations I
Speaker 10: have with a lot of women in the salon, and
Speaker 10: what comes to across a lot is that we don't
Speaker 10: necessarily a lot of time understand the roles. And because
Speaker 10: it's like a barber shop and heterosone shop, when we
Speaker 10: do start talking, the men chiming the woman, it goes
Speaker 10: into like a big thing, you know.
Speaker 4: But what because.
Speaker 10: I'm I'm my thirties, what I realized with women my age,
Speaker 10: talking to my friends and talking to a lot of
Speaker 10: younger girls and stuff, no one really understand their roles.
Speaker 10: And I think what you can bring to any healthy
Speaker 10: relationship is understanding the role that you are going to
Speaker 10: play what you should play according to God's standards, And
Speaker 10: I think that's something that I had to learn as well.
Speaker 4: Like being married, I had to.
Speaker 10: Understand my role, but also as a single person. If
Speaker 10: you don't understand your role, what you're meant to be
Speaker 10: playing when you do get into a relationship, then you
Speaker 10: don't necessarily know what you're looking for when you are
Speaker 10: looking for a partner. I feel like when I was younger,
Speaker 10: I mean I didn't really understand why I was thought like,
Speaker 10: you know, just being able to cook and clean and
Speaker 10: being able to smile and do prey and whatever was enough.
Speaker 10: But then I didn't really understand what characteristics I needed
Speaker 10: to embody and how I need to be in a
Speaker 10: biblical sense to be able to attract the type of
Speaker 10: partner that I wanted to attract because I didn't know
Speaker 10: my role.
Speaker 4: So I think understanding your role.
Speaker 10: As a mal what you're meant to be playing, and
Speaker 10: then understand your role as a female, like working on yourself,
Speaker 10: working on what you're meant to be, who you meant,
Speaker 10: how you're meant to interact with each other, understanding your
Speaker 10: flaws and then working on that and then maybe then
Speaker 10: when you're looking for someone, you're looking for someone when
Speaker 10: you're sorry, when you're yeah, when you're looking for that
Speaker 10: healthy relationship.
Speaker 4: Because you know who you are.
Speaker 10: What you're supposed to be, and what you're meant to
Speaker 10: be embodied in your role, then it's easier.
Speaker 4: For you to attach the healthy relationship. Okay, I think
Speaker 4: I'm trying to say very cool, cool.
Speaker 9: On the top, live, Yes, indeed, roles, respecting for each
Speaker 9: other's role, but also applying love. Love for every person
Speaker 9: might be different. Are you guys hearing me?
Speaker 1: Yea yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 9: Love can mean very differently for each person. So it's
Speaker 9: establishing what love looks like for you, what love is
Speaker 9: by for me, so that you can portray the right.
Speaker 6: Play, the right action is meaningful to the other.
Speaker 9: Showing admiration deep, being a actions deep, you know, and.
Speaker 6: It doesn't mean like.
Speaker 1: Married.
Speaker 6: To show like the admiration, you.
Speaker 9: Need to start from before from you decide that this
Speaker 9: is a person that you select. You need to, you know,
Speaker 9: show that you're really passionate about the person. Just to
Speaker 9: bring it into the biblical terms, the Bible says to
Speaker 9: leave and cleave and christ like that for the church,
Speaker 9: like here, like the women are supposed to be like
Speaker 9: the church symbolizing, and the husband needs to be that
Speaker 9: care for the woman, to protect her, to be the
Speaker 9: provider and leading from the front, and the roles are
Speaker 9: there for those purposes. But if you don't have that
Speaker 9: role displaying, then of course you're going to be confused.
Speaker 9: So it's important to have that clarity what you what
Speaker 9: you're meant to do, or what what that display should
Speaker 9: look like so that you don't get that confused, because
Speaker 9: then your behavior is gonna be very different or a
Speaker 9: waiver if you're not sure. And of course have their
Speaker 9: roles to so I'm not gonna like explain what that is.
Speaker 9: But I think as young women, the older ones, especially
Speaker 9: those who in church who already have like some knowledge,
Speaker 9: they can start to pass off those knowledge. So we
Speaker 9: could have like maybe once a month or twice a year, I.
Speaker 6: Don't know, I don't know, bire environment where we can pass.
Speaker 9: On those directions so that people are clear from people
Speaker 9: who have already done it.
Speaker 4: And are are successful in their relationship.
Speaker 7: Okay, okay, so that's really a practical thing. Because I
Speaker 7: was as you were talking, I was thinking, okay, so.
Speaker 1: How would I find out my role.
Speaker 7: How would I know this? You know, what would be?
Speaker 7: Where would I get the information from? So that's kind
Speaker 7: of a good suggestion there as well, Geraldine or Garth,
Speaker 7: any thoughts on I guess from a therapeutic perspective, maybe
Speaker 7: any thoughts on that as individuals? How can I be
Speaker 7: off to a really good Startine's area?
Speaker 8: So let's go ahead, we go, we bouncing between one another.
Speaker 4: Again again, go ahead, go ahead, right, So I'm just
Speaker 4: going to bounce off from the back of Hilton.
Speaker 8: Actually, and I think he is really correct in the
Speaker 8: sense of kindness and compassion, because Paul tells us let
Speaker 8: each esteem each other better than themselves is an act
Speaker 8: of kindness and compassion. And if we look at Galatians,
Speaker 8: we look at the fruit of the Spirit, and it
Speaker 8: details nine essential areas for one to actually know and
Speaker 8: learn from themselves. But I want to touch on two
Speaker 8: points in addition, emotional resilience. It's very important to understand
Speaker 8: how you can cope and recover from stressful situations.
Speaker 4: That's very applicable to.
Speaker 8: Bring into a healthy relationship because you really don't want
Speaker 8: somebody in that relationship who is probably buckling under every
Speaker 8: stressful situation of life, and hence the reason why I
Speaker 8: believe in itself that when we depend on Christ, Christ, who.
Speaker 4: Is our rock, is our short foundation.
Speaker 8: With supposed to be able to build a kind of
Speaker 8: stability upon Christ's work and stability within the relationship.
Speaker 4: So emotional reason elements.
Speaker 8: Get in touch with your feelings, understanding who you are
Speaker 8: as an individual even before you enter into a relationship,
Speaker 8: so that you know, I'm not saying it's book by
Speaker 8: the book, because each relationship is different. You know essentially
Speaker 8: as yourself that there are certain things that you can
Speaker 8: cope with. You talk about it and you understand each
Speaker 8: other listening to how each other quotes within this situation
Speaker 8: and what you can bring into that relationship.
Speaker 4: The other thing I want to quickly touch on is temperament.
Speaker 8: So just the White talks about temperament in mind, personality
Speaker 8: and character. I think it's really important for you to
Speaker 8: be able to understand the different types of temperaments. We
Speaker 8: have four garth and I listen to a sermon this morning,
Speaker 8: and I think it just re emphasized for me in
Speaker 8: my mind. Whilst counseling couples and looking at people who
Speaker 8: are struggling in relationships. I recognize that their temperaments, they
Speaker 8: don't really know them, and so they're not understanding how
Speaker 8: each other is able to esteem each other better than themselves.
Speaker 4: All right, That's where I'm going to stop from minute.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool girls, did you have a thought there?
Speaker 12: Yes, I I normally always do have a thought.
Speaker 11: How can we as individuals contribute to healthy to healthy relationships?
Speaker 12: And of course, from a teacher's point of.
Speaker 11: View, we are in charge of students and we will
Speaker 11: influence them directly or indirectly to developing maintaining healthy relationships.
Speaker 11: And most times we like to make sure we don't
Speaker 11: take certain terms for granted in terms of healthy. What
Speaker 11: do we call healthy in terms of relationships? What do
Speaker 11: we mean when we see relationships? One I think is
Speaker 11: Shannon said, love is something different in different cultures, in
Speaker 11: different communities, in different countries. What I might think is
Speaker 11: a love, she may not think is love. I might
Speaker 11: think she is abusive, and she may think, no, it
Speaker 11: may not be so. Sometimes, especially when we're online, we
Speaker 11: need to establish certain words or phrases and make sure
Speaker 11: it's applied and it's applicable to the community, so that
Speaker 11: when we look at how can I or how can
Speaker 11: we as individuals contribute to a healthy relationship? Shout why
Speaker 11: as we walk the road, we don't take things for granted?
Speaker 11: You know they are I mean she is correct because
Speaker 11: I've been to the UK and I've gotten called your shock, thinking, well, okay,
Speaker 11: I'm seeing people coming towards me, so the natural behaviors
Speaker 11: raise a hand, high, smile, good morning, good afternoon, and
Speaker 11: it's like they didn't even see you.
Speaker 4: You know, yes, so that.
Speaker 11: It's correct. But I want to I liked how it
Speaker 11: started off. Hilton started off and then we came down.
Speaker 11: So that I want to add each individual vidual is
Speaker 11: responsible for their developments, right, for their improvements.
Speaker 12: And so the first thing.
Speaker 11: I would think is one should be at a point
Speaker 11: mature enough mat you should not have taken place where
Speaker 11: they would have acknowledge that they are at a point
Speaker 11: where they could start making friends and developing better friendship.
Speaker 11: And if their hormones is on that side, then they
Speaker 11: must be aware that they are rules to follow in developing.
Speaker 11: There is one or two texts I use a lot to.
Speaker 12: Guide me, to guide us.
Speaker 11: Our faith faith comets well, we are saved by grace
Speaker 11: through faith, right we are saved by grace God's love
Speaker 11: through faith.
Speaker 2: But what is faith to me?
Speaker 11: Faith is not just belief. Faith comes by hearing and
Speaker 11: hearing by the word. So if faith is such an
Speaker 11: important thing for happiness, for being safe and saved, and
Speaker 11: faith is associated with knowledge, faith is associated with reading,
Speaker 11: with hearing, with discussing, faith is probably what we are doing,
Speaker 11: all right, because it's a doing. They say, faith without
Speaker 11: works is dead, So that what we are doing here
Speaker 11: is faith. We are building faith, so that the individual
Speaker 11: would need to build faith build themselves, I think it
Speaker 11: was said before, but acknowledging recognizing where they are at
Speaker 11: because they would.
Speaker 12: Have been trained by a parent, by.
Speaker 11: A teacher, by some adults, and in terms of their
Speaker 11: culty again because every society may have a little difference
Speaker 11: in training, all right, but to them it would be
Speaker 11: their norm, their normal behavior in developing one's self. So
Speaker 11: one have to be ready because association, you know, is
Speaker 11: two coming together. And sometimes I think, yesterday, I'm I'm
Speaker 11: ahead of the department as well. And we start with
Speaker 11: the principal yesterday talking after school, and I said, let
Speaker 11: me bring in in my mind, let me bring in
Speaker 11: a point here one time while we are you know,
Speaker 11: four of us talking. So I said here I did
Speaker 11: talk about this need the fire room to do you
Speaker 11: know a particular subject, and the principle said, anyway, let
Speaker 11: me go.
Speaker 2: I have work to do. You know.
Speaker 12: So it's important to know where you are, how you are,
Speaker 12: wet words, so.
Speaker 11: That you don't speak out of context. You could speak
Speaker 11: if I'm speaking Spanish. I don't expect somebody to come
Speaker 11: and speak German or e English to develop a relationship.
Speaker 12: We made relating, but it's what type would it be?
Speaker 2: Healthy?
Speaker 11: No, so knowing self, as I said, knowing the rules
Speaker 11: to follow.
Speaker 12: We have books Bible Ellen White, you know, because the
Speaker 12: word is not jazzy bye. But the word is also
Speaker 12: what we call the.
Speaker 11: You know, the.
Speaker 12: Those books that support the Bibles.
Speaker 11: You know a man.
Speaker 7: Okay, thank you for that, Sena, so your hand before
Speaker 7: had you any thoughts on this?
Speaker 6: Or help him as wealth, I'll help him go. And
Speaker 6: then it was just a question, a follow up question.
Speaker 3: Okay, so so you had a point to what's already
Speaker 3: been discuss.
Speaker 2: Per okay, okay, sorry.
Speaker 6: Your hands absolutely?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I wanted to muscle in here and suggests
Speaker 2: this guy Alan Alaine, the button who is an English
Speaker 2: flast of helm Uh. He's reading the book on a
Speaker 2: Relationship and he makes a very powerful statement. He says
Speaker 2: that our error is to suppose that we were born
Speaker 2: knowing how to love, and that managing a relationship might
Speaker 2: therefore be kind of intuitive and easy. But then he
Speaker 2: goes on to say, and this is brilliant, and I
Speaker 2: call this a lot of time, that love is a
Speaker 2: skilled to be learned rather than just an emotion to
Speaker 2: be felt. I repeat that love is are skilled to
Speaker 2: be learned rather than an emotion to be felt. And
Speaker 2: I think that we are based, particularly in the West,
Speaker 2: in this romantic concept of love and relationship. And what
Speaker 2: is even more frightening is that And I think, Shaddy,
Speaker 2: I don't know, yes your name Shaddy alluded to many
Speaker 2: of the conversations that she's been hearing in her in
Speaker 2: her workplace. I think that many people, unbeknownst to them,
Speaker 2: come into relationship with a certain template, and the template
Speaker 2: that they come into the relationship with, they're totally oblivious
Speaker 2: of that what the template is, and many times that
Speaker 2: template isn't triggered until they are prom dead center in
Speaker 2: the relationship. And relating that all kinds of things come up,
Speaker 2: and I think one of the best things that we
Speaker 2: can do for ourselves and for anyone that we are
Speaker 2: engaging with regards to relationship is to try to tease out,
Speaker 2: become aware of what is that person's template and what
Speaker 2: is your template? Because if you find out what your
Speaker 2: template is, and many times, like I said, it's not
Speaker 2: very easy, you think you know it, but God forbid.
Speaker 2: When you eat and you begin to relate, and you
Speaker 2: begin to engage and you begin to interact, you get
Speaker 2: triggered in ways that you thought you probably would think,
Speaker 2: whoa is that me? So if we begin to tease out,
Speaker 2: expand on explore what are the core skills that we
Speaker 2: need to learn in order for us to have a healthy,
Speaker 2: high performing, efficient relationship, then I think we would go
Speaker 2: a long way and having good relations And just to
Speaker 2: say that before I go, I also think that we
Speaker 2: need to recognize what the function of relationship and marriages
Speaker 2: because you, like some people are saying, speak about roles.
Speaker 2: These people spoke about maybe different aspects, and I think
Speaker 2: it comes down to what is the function, what is
Speaker 2: the what is the purpose of a marriage or a relationship?
Speaker 2: And when we get clear on that and you will
Speaker 2: find out that you know, it's not like the world
Speaker 2: has it, and it's not like many of us think
Speaker 2: it is. I would they say and correct me if
Speaker 2: I'm wrong, And I think Geraldine might be able to
Speaker 2: support me on this. Here, Geraldine that the function of
Speaker 2: a relationship or a marriage. Let me just put it
Speaker 2: another way. My thing is that marriage is a oh
Speaker 2: my days, it's gone for me. Marriage is more of
Speaker 2: a ministry. Marriage is a ministry. It's more of a ministry.
Speaker 2: And one guy asks a very telling question, okay, and
Speaker 2: the question is when you get married, would you want
Speaker 2: to be holy or happy? You want to be holy
Speaker 2: or happy? And when we recognize that marriage is a
Speaker 2: ministry and there are three elements of marriage that I
Speaker 2: think that we need to become aware of. And again
Speaker 2: this is more theory. We could get back down to
Speaker 2: the practical dynamic aspect of it. That marriage, for high functioning,
Speaker 2: high efficient marriage or relationship has three essays sacrifice and
Speaker 2: Geraldine spoke about Galiationians and somebody spoke about we are
Speaker 2: we represent the feminine, represent the church. So there is service, submission,
Speaker 2: and sacrifice. And I think if we begin to tease
Speaker 2: out the fact that when you get married to someone,
Speaker 2: you actually called to serve them, You actually called you.
Speaker 2: You're in a ministry to help that person and the
Speaker 2: whole universe, you know. L Ny speaks about that hangs
Speaker 2: on the aspect of service. When Christ came, he said that, look,
Speaker 2: I came to serve, you know, if he was watching
Speaker 2: the disciples. And when we recognize that we are placed
Speaker 2: in the life of someone else to enrich, enhance, ennoble
Speaker 2: that person, that we're there to serve that person, and
Speaker 2: you are a channel through which our whole partner with
Speaker 2: God to save that person's soul. I think our relationships
Speaker 2: would have a different dimension and different direction and different
Speaker 2: perspective altogether.
Speaker 7: Enough said okay, Cynia, did you have a point to following?
Speaker 7: Jump in there, go to Shannon. Okay, Shannon, go ahead,
Speaker 7: I will I.
Speaker 9: Will hold hold two words as key that we need
Speaker 9: to do is respect. From what I've heard others as
Speaker 9: well and said as well. So respect is very important
Speaker 9: because if for example, you're going to speak in tern
Speaker 9: or turn, then you would need to respect what that
Speaker 9: person is doing and think about it, so you know,
Speaker 9: stuff like that. And the other one is exercising forgiveness.
Speaker 9: Because that has to be applied over and over again
Speaker 9: because we're symbolizing a lower level of heavenly things or
Speaker 9: heavily heavenly.
Speaker 6: Practice or scenario.
Speaker 9: And so we're going to get those principles in action
Speaker 9: right where we are so that we can also receive
Speaker 9: those forgiveness, those blessings that.
Speaker 6: Are meant to come to us. Those are two very
Speaker 6: strong areas.
Speaker 9: None of us can really high behind. We're going to
Speaker 9: get it in some way, shape or form.
Speaker 6: Then also.
Speaker 9: Meeting that person in terms of what their what their
Speaker 9: likes are. So if you have a quarrel or if
Speaker 9: you have a disagreement, you you're able to touch that
Speaker 9: soft spot where you turn things around very easily. And
Speaker 9: the word that says, do not go down. Don't let
Speaker 9: the sun go down down on your wrath, because if
Speaker 9: we understand that, every day comes with its own challenge
Speaker 9: and its own problem solving. So if you allow it
Speaker 9: to accumulate, like if you have a VEX yesterday and
Speaker 9: you don't like make up back, then when tomorrow comes,
Speaker 9: it's just gonna pile on and it gets more difficult
Speaker 9: to address.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, thank you, Sanya.
Speaker 3: All Right, Sorry I was trying to answer before when
Speaker 3: I was on the mute Apology.
Speaker 6: But it's it's all.
Speaker 3: Been really full and deep and meaningful conversation, a lot
Speaker 3: of reminders for some and new information for others perhaps,
Speaker 3: But my question is because it's all been good, it's
Speaker 3: all been informative, and we know what we're looking to do,
Speaker 3: but I still feel, how do we do it?
Speaker 6: How do we work.
Speaker 3: On our compassion and our kindness? How do we work
Speaker 3: on our ability to be respectful and understanding?
Speaker 6: How do we work on our emotional intelligence? Are we
Speaker 6: born that way?
Speaker 3: Or is there a place that you go, Like you
Speaker 3: go to the pharmacist for medication, is there a place
Speaker 3: that you go that you can pick up these things?
Speaker 3: I know Shannon mentioned before that there could be courses,
Speaker 3: and I think she hinted to it being in the church,
Speaker 3: maybe spaces and places within the church that this can
Speaker 3: be taught or explained or discussed. So is that where
Speaker 3: we started? Does it start with our parents? The upbringing?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I'm I'm going all over.
Speaker 3: The show because I think we've got good solutions, we
Speaker 3: know where we're headed. But for someone listening stops, even
Speaker 3: for myself, if I've got things to work on where
Speaker 3: do I go to work on it? How do I
Speaker 3: know where to start when I'm working on it? And Geldine,
Speaker 3: I'm going to destroy it? Oh to you, because I think, can.
Speaker 5: They say one thing before you throw out the journey?
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 5: Can't say one thing?
Speaker 6: Cause I was actually, oh, yes, sorry, Patriote, that was kind.
Speaker 5: Of gonna be my question too, But I was gonna
Speaker 5: go kind of piggyback on Hilton a little bit, which
Speaker 5: I agree with what he said about I think I
Speaker 5: forgot the word he used. But my world would be
Speaker 5: like expectations. I think sometimes we go into a a
Speaker 5: marriage or relationship with a certain expectation. But if we
Speaker 5: don't go in with that expectation just knowing that who
Speaker 5: we're gonna be with or who we are with, you know,
Speaker 5: God has put them with us, and then we learn
Speaker 5: It's like you were saying, how is there a template?
Speaker 5: I don't know. Well, the template is the Bible. You
Speaker 5: learn from the Bible and then you expand from that.
Speaker 5: But then you don't expect I think sometimes as people,
Speaker 5: we expect certain things to be a certain way and
Speaker 5: they don't turn out to be that way. So when
Speaker 5: you get married, you expect their marriage to be there's
Speaker 5: certain you know, like roses and diamonds, and it's not
Speaker 5: and it's work and it's hard and you have to
Speaker 5: learn the other person. And then you start finding other
Speaker 5: things about the person that you didn't that you didn't
Speaker 5: think they did or you didn't like. So you find out,
Speaker 5: you know, even though you may try to find out
Speaker 5: before you get married, there's always something when you get
Speaker 5: married that you're like, I didn't know that about you
Speaker 5: because maybe they just didn't they it didn't come up
Speaker 5: or it just didn't show itself until you get married.
Speaker 5: So I believe like if you go into a relationship
Speaker 5: with not the expectation of it, without the expectations that
Speaker 5: you may have, and I know some people are going
Speaker 5: to say, well, I expect this and I expect that,
Speaker 5: but you don't always get what you expect. You don't
Speaker 5: always get what you want, you don't always get what
Speaker 5: you what you think you need. You're gonna sometimes you're
Speaker 5: gonna get what you need. God's gonna give you what
Speaker 5: you need and you may not realize it until you
Speaker 5: end that relationship. Am I saying that right? I don't
Speaker 5: know that. That was just my thought process on that.
Speaker 3: If I were to piggyback on you, then I would say,
Speaker 3: I think we should have expectations, but maybe it's just
Speaker 3: about setting healthy expectations.
Speaker 5: That's I need that, And that's what I'm saying, Like yeah,
Speaker 5: but like okay, So like I'm going from personal. When
Speaker 5: I married Tala, I expected a certain thing, but it
Speaker 5: was not. It didn't turn out the way that I thought.
Speaker 5: And and to be fair, I always tell people like
Speaker 5: me and Tara's relationship and our marriage has been I
Speaker 5: would not recommend that think some of the things we
Speaker 5: went through in our marriage for other relationships, because they
Speaker 5: may not survive. So I think it's based on the
Speaker 5: person's upbringing and that and there what they have. Like
Speaker 5: she had a mother and a father. I just have mother,
Speaker 5: So we had to then combine those. We have to
Speaker 5: combine those together, the expectations that we had, and combine
Speaker 5: it to become together as one. Like like the Bible says,
Speaker 5: you know, when I married Tara, then I cleaved away
Speaker 5: from my mother and my father and I went and
Speaker 5: TV was one. So when you're one, no matter what
Speaker 5: you may expect it to be, you you work with
Speaker 5: what that person. They faults and you help build them up.
Speaker 5: So Taler helped me build Taler builds me up and
Speaker 5: certain things, and I build her up in certain things.
Speaker 5: And then you can get to the expectations that you
Speaker 5: thought was going to happen in your marriage. And like
Speaker 5: I said, that's just my view. You can debate or
Speaker 5: you can say I'm wrong, I'm not gonna be mad,
Speaker 5: or it's just my view.
Speaker 7: I mean my thing to help him, that would be
Speaker 7: again to sort of I guess go about. Sesenia's question
Speaker 7: was almost like how do you do that? Because you
Speaker 7: kind of think, where does where due us or where
Speaker 7: should maybe my expectations.
Speaker 5: Communications, as Shanna said, respect, communicate, respect, and understanding communication,
Speaker 5: that's what. Then that's what all the things that you learn,
Speaker 5: you read, you study, you look at other you you
Speaker 5: talk to other people. You get examples and then you
Speaker 5: kind of you kind of like put it all in
Speaker 5: a pot and mix it together and then you and
Speaker 5: then you pick out what works for you because what
Speaker 5: works for what works for us may not work for you,
Speaker 5: but you can kind of tweak it to where it
Speaker 5: works for you. So you get you get examples from
Speaker 5: from as you say, from the church, from other couples,
Speaker 5: you know, even bad and good, even a couple that
Speaker 5: doesn't last. So a couple that doesn't work, you learn, well,
Speaker 5: they did this and it didn't work, so you know what,
Speaker 5: maybe we should stay away from that because it's not
Speaker 5: gonna work, you understand. So it's like you just you.
Speaker 5: It's like life lessons. I think sometimes books is good
Speaker 5: to read and to study, but sometimes life experience is better.
Speaker 5: We have a tendency sometimes not to look at the
Speaker 5: life experience of people. We have a tendency just to
Speaker 5: go with or they're a doctor, or they're a psychiatrist,
Speaker 5: or there this, or they're that, and we don't We
Speaker 5: only go with what they say. But we don't look
Speaker 5: at some of the church members that have been married
Speaker 5: for fifty years and they never had a they don't
Speaker 5: have no book knowledge. Their whole thing is from experience,
Speaker 5: what to do, what not to do? How should I understand?
Speaker 5: We don't look at that as people, especially in the church,
Speaker 5: we have a tendency. I hate this, and I'm probably
Speaker 5: gonna get in stolid, but I hate this. I think
Speaker 5: sometimes in church, as church members, we don't look at
Speaker 5: the people that we should be looking at. We only
Speaker 5: look at the people that the pastor the old. We
Speaker 5: only look at people that have a title. We don't
Speaker 5: always have to look at those people. We need to
Speaker 5: look at the people that have been doing it for
Speaker 5: the life of the relationship, with the life of the
Speaker 5: marriage and learn from them. Go in and pick and
Speaker 5: pick their minds and talk to them.
Speaker 4: Exactly about her. Yeah, me too, I agree.
Speaker 6: I agree.
Speaker 10: Like it's one of my biggest things that I literally
Speaker 10: talked to her. Every person I mean that is older
Speaker 10: than me. I love sitting down and having conversation with
Speaker 10: other people that are married because you live from there,
Speaker 10: like you experience what they've experienced without actually living in
Speaker 10: So everybody that's married, I mean, because I'm very newly married,
Speaker 10: I'm just like, what advice would you give me? Or
Speaker 10: what did you have to what would you say I
Speaker 10: would have to do? What would you because I can
Speaker 10: learn from their experiences with that and the thing with
Speaker 10: us about that as young people, what we tend to
Speaker 10: fail to realize sometimes is that the older people, they
Speaker 10: carry a lot of wisdom, you know what I mean,
Speaker 10: whether they were in the filed marriage or not, they
Speaker 10: would be able to give you advice as to why
Speaker 10: it failed or why it's working. And we sometimes as
Speaker 10: young people, we tend to think that we know everything.
Speaker 4: But if we just sit and listen sometimes.
Speaker 10: Like it can be very very helpful. I've always been
Speaker 10: that person. From growing up. I'd always asked older people,
Speaker 10: like I would say and listen to stories for hours
Speaker 10: because I'm just like I need to hear what you did.
Speaker 4: So I don't do that.
Speaker 3: Do you get good to hear you say that? I'm
Speaker 3: almost stand it to say, repeat, repeat, repeat. Our young
Speaker 3: people need to hear that if they don't already know.
Speaker 10: I honestly like it's one of like I've got a
Speaker 10: lot of older clients are coming, like I love hearing
Speaker 10: the windworsh story and the wind Ruge generation stories. I
Speaker 10: love hearing how how you been married? I mean like
Speaker 10: we travel.
Speaker 4: I travel a lot. When I go, we go to
Speaker 4: loads of different inventist churches. Everywhere we go. We try
Speaker 4: to finan chide and you go to it.
Speaker 10: And when I was in Watertime, i met this couple
Speaker 10: that was married for seventy years. So I'm like, wow,
Speaker 10: I was listening the whole time. I wouldn't talk it
Speaker 10: to nobody else in the ship. I just wanted to
Speaker 10: hear all these stories then, because that is an accomplishment
Speaker 10: in itself, and in this day and age, my generation
Speaker 10: is just like, Okay, we picked this up, we drop it.
Speaker 4: We don't like that we pick this up, we drop it.
Speaker 10: But marriage is a commitment, and when we make that
Speaker 10: commitment before God first of all, and then before the world,
Speaker 10: we have to understand how to deal with that. The
Speaker 10: only way we're going to know first of all the Bible,
Speaker 10: and then the older people in our community, in our churches.
Speaker 4: If you talk to any older person, God first, God first,
Speaker 4: called first.
Speaker 10: But as young people because of the generation that we live,
Speaker 10: and we tend not to hear that that God first,
Speaker 10: because that's the only way it's going to be like God.
Speaker 4: It's not at the forefront.
Speaker 10: Is if your husband's not leading your partners, not partner
Speaker 10: your husband, If your husband's not leading with God first,
Speaker 10: then it's going to fall apart. And if you talk
Speaker 10: to the old the married couples in the churches, they
Speaker 10: always say they put God first, do you know what
Speaker 10: I mean? And then everything else comes after that. Sorry,
Speaker 10: I just wanted to know, no question.
Speaker 6: Went to Geraldine.
Speaker 3: I think, but I don't know if Geraldine used to
Speaker 3: wanting to chime.
Speaker 6: In, and then I think there was.
Speaker 4: A mother first, and then I'll come and.
Speaker 1: Come up with.
Speaker 11: Well, a lot of men said that I do agree
Speaker 11: and support. The only thing I probably would want to
Speaker 11: chime in there is probably because I'm a teachers. Marriage
Speaker 11: is an institution, This says, the institution that you don't
Speaker 11: graduate from.
Speaker 6: And I know they.
Speaker 11: Said it is probably Miss Elton and yourself could verify whether, yes,
Speaker 11: more divorces are really marrying. And we want to know why.
Speaker 11: Is it because of technology? Is it because we have
Speaker 11: more people writing books?
Speaker 12: Is it because knowledge has increased?
Speaker 11: Is it because the church is more impacting? The church
Speaker 11: recognize that they have been feelings, so they are now
Speaker 11: coming up to scratch now and educating the populace the
Speaker 11: membership about maintaining and strengthening relationships.
Speaker 12: These are some of the realities.
Speaker 11: But as a teacher, we fail because of ignorance, you know,
Speaker 11: we perish for the lack of my people perish for
Speaker 11: the lack of knowledge. And yes, we are in the
Speaker 11: information age or the fingertips we have, you know, just
Speaker 11: a punch and stuff and we're getting information.
Speaker 12: But I'm also and I'm.
Speaker 11: Also saying, as Buttan was suggesting the skills.
Speaker 12: You know, we need skills for success.
Speaker 11: And as I said, yes, we could get these skills
Speaker 11: either from the example, the pages of people lives or
Speaker 11: the pages that people write, the pages of people lives
Speaker 11: or the pages of people that people write, but information education.
Speaker 11: Because I want to be, for example, I want to
Speaker 11: be the best teacher, the best lawyer, the best doctor,
Speaker 11: I have to.
Speaker 4: Go through a scheme. I have to go through one, two, three, four.
Speaker 11: Sometimes six seven years before I could be a specialist,
Speaker 11: before before I could consider myself a success.
Speaker 12: But but but.
Speaker 11: But where's the university for or where's the school or
Speaker 11: the class for a successful marriage?
Speaker 4: Where's it?
Speaker 11: We have books, yes, but where's the course, where's the class?
Speaker 11: Where's the degree offered?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: Well that Hilton, did you or Jaldine? You're jumping in? Okay,
Speaker 3: go on, Okay.
Speaker 8: So I just wanted to add a few things the practice.
Speaker 8: I'm going to come back on the back of Pedro. Actually,
Speaker 8: and Hilton said a few things before. You know, as Christians,
Speaker 8: our principles are based on the Word of God. Categorically,
Speaker 8: whether we like to read the Word every day, whether
Speaker 8: we like to pray every day, whether we like to
Speaker 8: praise God every day or not, it's based in God's word.
Speaker 4: It's just simple.
Speaker 8: So one of the practical guidances that Jesus has given
Speaker 8: us is to love your neighbor as yourself. If you
Speaker 8: learn to be kind and compassionate to others who do
Speaker 8: not know you, who are not of your own kind
Speaker 8: i e. Christianity or culture, then you will be able
Speaker 8: to display that in your marriage. It's as simple as that.
Speaker 8: Now people always talk about roles and responsibilities.
Speaker 4: Practical guidance is given in God's word.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 8: We have books from Egui. I was reading books at
Speaker 8: the age of sixteen seventeen, you know. Messages to young
Speaker 8: people was the first direct second was my sister gave
Speaker 8: me a book.
Speaker 4: It was onbecoming a woman. Right. There are other books
Speaker 4: that I have read irrespective of that.
Speaker 8: But I have to say, remember these books, and I'm
Speaker 8: not knocking any book at all, but these books are
Speaker 8: written on the basis of somebody's experience.
Speaker 4: It is not yours.
Speaker 8: Nobody said that there would be pages and pages of pages.
Speaker 4: Of how we will get on in marriage. Nobody said that.
Speaker 4: Jesus never said that right.
Speaker 8: He gave us biblical principles for the concepts and the
Speaker 8: purposes and the premises of marriage. But nobody told us
Speaker 8: that there would be a book written, So I'm not
Speaker 8: too sure why we're expecting it. What we do know
Speaker 8: is that we have to base our marriage or our
Speaker 8: relationship with God based upon his word.
Speaker 4: Jesus teaches us all things. The Holy Spirit leads us
Speaker 4: into all truth.
Speaker 8: And while some people may feel, well that's easy to see,
Speaker 8: but he really does. If your dependency really is on Christ,
Speaker 8: the solid rock, then he will teach you, he says,
Speaker 8: I will teach you and lead you into Autroughy, what
Speaker 8: did you think it was?
Speaker 12: Just as well?
Speaker 8: No, there's practical skills of living a basic a basic life,
Speaker 8: the principles of given, the principles of love it, the
Speaker 8: principles of teaching. All of these things are conjured up
Speaker 8: in God's word. And if we learn to eat the
Speaker 8: words of God, then we will see it displayed out.
Speaker 4: Within our lives. Yes, we will have hiccups along the way.
Speaker 4: I wasn't where I.
Speaker 8: Was a year ago or six months ago had changed,
Speaker 8: especially in the relationship that I have with Earth. We've
Speaker 8: both changed. We have seeing the change. We talk about
Speaker 8: it practically, we pray about it. Essentially, we ask God
Speaker 8: to help us to improve individually and collectively together so
Speaker 8: that we are always continuing that process.
Speaker 4: And that journey. So I would always.
Speaker 8: Say that the humility, the generosity, the faithfulness, the love
Speaker 8: of the neighbor, the forgiveness, he honesty, the integrity, all
Speaker 8: of these things display.
Speaker 4: And conjure up one's character.
Speaker 8: How you love your neighbor, love God with all your heart,
Speaker 8: with all your soul, and with all your mind, and
Speaker 8: your neighbor as yourself. If you learn to love your neighbor,
Speaker 8: you get the practicality of how your relationship would be
Speaker 8: one with another. Because if you love a stranger, you
Speaker 8: if you love a stranger, you definitely will be able
Speaker 8: to have that teachable, teachable spirit. God always speaks to
Speaker 8: me about having a teachable spirit. He always talks about
Speaker 8: learning to live the character of Jesus in your life
Speaker 8: so it can be displayed in others. And I think
Speaker 8: if we learn some of these practical stages, take time out,
Speaker 8: get to know Jesus, get to know what His will
Speaker 8: is for you in your life.
Speaker 4: You know, get to know the providence of his life
Speaker 4: for you. Don't be fearful.
Speaker 8: Ask God to teach you how to walk in his
Speaker 8: statues and to walk in His way. Wait, so that
Speaker 8: those biblical principles coupled with the practical experience that He
Speaker 8: teaches us every.
Speaker 4: Day, Well, this will be displayed in the Christian's life.
Speaker 4: M Oh yeah, I didn't want to preach.
Speaker 7: No, no, no, loving that and missy scribbling, missy scribbling, Hilton,
Speaker 7: is this point your point? You're going to make a
Speaker 7: related direct to that? Or because I take a music
Speaker 7: break and then maybe come back, So.
Speaker 2: I think we break hidden.
Speaker 7: Cool cool cool, Okay, Well, one of the key things
Speaker 7: that I've just taken from that is really ultimately our
Speaker 7: starting point has to be God first. So I'm going
Speaker 7: to play one of our favorites and probably the world's
Speaker 7: favorite as well, The Goodness of God by C. C.
Speaker 1: Winans.
Speaker 7: It's a fantastic song, fantastic song, and one of the
Speaker 7: key things that I really love about this song is
Speaker 7: where it's saying that you know, God is running after us,
Speaker 7: and I think sometimes we almost want to be I
Speaker 7: wo don't want to say I want to be caught
Speaker 7: by God to be able to say, actually, I can
Speaker 7: walk with him. He can take my hands and guide
Speaker 7: me through. Just what you've been saying there as well.
Speaker 7: So let's hear from c C. Goodness of God.
Speaker 21: Lord, for your merging never fails me.
Speaker 14: Oh, my DearS, I've been helding your head.
Speaker 6: From the moment that I wait.
Speaker 1: Until I live my head.
Speaker 4: Oh, I will see.
Speaker 12: Of the goodness of God, because.
Speaker 21: All my life you have been faith, a normal life.
Speaker 4: You have been so so.
Speaker 21: With every breath that I am laidble.
Speaker 3: Oh, why you will see of the goodness of God.
Speaker 4: I love your boys.
Speaker 21: You have led me through the fire.
Speaker 1: In the darkest times.
Speaker 6: You are close line.
Speaker 4: No, I'm known you as a fire. I'm known you
Speaker 4: as a.
Speaker 17: And I have lived in the goodness of God.
Speaker 18: God.
Speaker 4: It's all my life.
Speaker 17: You have been faith.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, nor you have been so so.
Speaker 17: Very man that I am made.
Speaker 7: For See.
Speaker 3: Then your goodness.
Speaker 17: Is Bronni naugh.
Speaker 15: It's pretty enough to me.
Speaker 21: Your gownness is Brownie naw after its body enough to
Speaker 21: me with my eye lame now my surrender, Now I
Speaker 21: can't you have the.
Speaker 1: God?
Speaker 17: Your godness is Brannie enough, is party.
Speaker 1: Enough to me?
Speaker 17: Jure love money, I am all the miss crying out.
Speaker 17: It's running out with my life, lame house hiding you
Speaker 17: have you're the miss riding it's.
Speaker 21: Running No my life. You have been faithful.
Speaker 1: M hmm, nor my life.
Speaker 21: You have been so so with the rebreath that I
Speaker 21: am madeble. I'm gonna say other somebody say.
Speaker 7: To say, Okay, we're going to sing of the goodness
Speaker 7: of God. If you've just joined us. Hopefully you haven't
Speaker 7: just joined us, but if you have, you've missed a
Speaker 7: great conversation so far.
Speaker 1: You're here on talking point.
Speaker 7: We've been discussing about continue our discussion about relationships, but
Speaker 7: also how we can practically make our relationships better, help
Speaker 7: them to work what we can do, and we've had
Speaker 7: some gems great insight already from our panel this evening.
Speaker 7: But we'd love to hear from you if you've got
Speaker 7: any other comments or thoughts as well, So do in progress,
Speaker 7: so do emailers on studio at Adventist Radio dot London.
Speaker 7: You can text us at eight triple two eight write
Speaker 7: hope then your message, or you can send us a
Speaker 7: WhatsApp message on zero seven four five ninety six four
Speaker 7: two eight nine eight. So yes did during the conversation,
Speaker 7: So just before the break, Uh, Geraldine was saying, you know,
Speaker 7: really and a lot everybody's been saying this in terms of,
Speaker 7: you know, God needs to be the starting point of this.
Speaker 7: As we were off their Zenya had a point where
Speaker 7: she wanted to challenge Geraldine and what she was saying.
Speaker 1: So I said, yeah, over to you to kind of
Speaker 1: then go over to Geraldine.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 3: So here we were talking about the Jerlden. You made
Speaker 3: a point that if you were able to love and
Speaker 3: be kind and compassionate to a stranger, as we've been
Speaker 3: called to do, then certainly you are able to do
Speaker 3: that within the construct of a marriage and a relationship.
Speaker 6: And I just wanted to poke a little bit as
Speaker 6: I tend to do and ask well, like me, so many.
Speaker 3: Find it difficult more difficult to be compassionate and kind
Speaker 3: within the construct of a relationship when you've been called
Speaker 3: to move from individuals with your own individual taste, your
Speaker 3: own individual opinions, and merge into one.
Speaker 6: That's where you might find the conflict coming. I like
Speaker 6: my room called he lights it hat do we go
Speaker 6: under the covers?
Speaker 2: Do we not?
Speaker 3: Do you drag it off me and put it on myself?
Speaker 3: So you know, the tough will begin that it's not
Speaker 3: just about the covers. That's a simple explanation, but it
Speaker 3: can bubble up to any other thing that we have
Speaker 3: to deal with as a couple.
Speaker 6: So what's your answer to that?
Speaker 3: And I think it maybe has to do with emotional
Speaker 3: intelligence and some other issues, but some other principles.
Speaker 6: But what would be your rebuff to my question?
Speaker 4: I think one of them would be not taking people
Speaker 4: for granted. I think with our loved ones, we tend
Speaker 4: to because we know them, because we know the insights
Speaker 4: out sometimes of them and what they will do, or
Speaker 4: we pre end what they do. I think then we
Speaker 4: end up taking people for granted.
Speaker 8: Appreciation is one whereby you must be able to be
Speaker 8: willing to be self less, not selfish. Selflessness not selfishness.
Speaker 8: And I think consciously we tend to.
Speaker 4: Talk to each other in derogatory tones because we know.
Speaker 8: And we're comfortable and where you know, it's it's something
Speaker 8: that you should already know.
Speaker 4: Or I like my tea heart, you like yours? Called
Speaker 4: what happened to compromisation? What happened to talk into one another?
Speaker 8: Cas and I talk very well In actual fact, I
Speaker 8: must say this gu Darth and I talk for hours
Speaker 8: on the phone, talking, talking, talking, But in the talking
Speaker 8: we make sure that we emphasize on the positive qualities,
Speaker 8: try to bring them out from one another. You we
Speaker 8: are not the same as everybody, each person. God has
Speaker 8: made us unique. But we have to learn to compromise,
Speaker 8: to be patient within the presence of another that we love,
Speaker 8: to be appreciative of some of the things that we
Speaker 8: don't like. But yet still we are able to toll them.
Speaker 8: We are able to give an ear, we are able
Speaker 8: to listen. That's primarily because we want to be able
Speaker 8: to have a happy relationship.
Speaker 4: We want it sanctified by God.
Speaker 8: We want it where angels like to hear or sing
Speaker 8: or celebrate, because two people have joined together as one
Speaker 8: and God has unified them together.
Speaker 4: But patience is important. Patients long sufferingness.
Speaker 8: We talk about long sufferingness in Galatians are going to
Speaker 8: bring out the fruit of the spirit again because most
Speaker 8: of us are not long suffering.
Speaker 4: But yet still the Bible inhibits us.
Speaker 8: All or guides us to have these nine characteristics as
Speaker 8: art of our temperament.
Speaker 4: Now, if Arthur and I aren't able to come to some.
Speaker 8: Agreement, we either say and God can come in here,
Speaker 8: we either say we talk about it a little bit
Speaker 8: more and then we say, well, let's come back to
Speaker 8: another time of how we can talk about this in
Speaker 8: more detail, because of course, sometimes conversations may get heated
Speaker 8: and one may feel inhibited because of what the other.
Speaker 4: One has said. But humility is very important in a
Speaker 4: marit or relationship.
Speaker 8: Just because you are in the right, or you may
Speaker 8: think you're in the right, doesn't mean to say that
Speaker 8: you cannot be humble in the presence of another. And
Speaker 8: so when we talk about being stable in a relationship
Speaker 8: or grappling on the foundations of not taking each other
Speaker 8: for granted, here we're talking about being able to become
Speaker 8: more patient. Am I patient with the other person that
Speaker 8: I am with? Or because I'm with that person every day?
Speaker 8: Am I taking them for granted? Or am I You
Speaker 8: have to start questioning yourself and trying to improve on
Speaker 8: areas by reflecting on what has transpired, because oftentimes we
Speaker 8: always look to the other person.
Speaker 4: Adam blamed Eve and so it went on down the ages,
Speaker 4: and we're still blaming one another.
Speaker 8: But how about taking responsibility for yourself? How about saying, Lord,
Speaker 8: what is it that I need?
Speaker 4: To improve. How can I improve?
Speaker 8: Please show me in your world, or please teach me
Speaker 8: via somebody else. I'll share this quickly now, my friends.
Speaker 8: When I was younger, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen or seven
Speaker 8: eight nine years older than me, because I wanted to
Speaker 8: learn what it is that I can do, I used
Speaker 8: to go to older people to ask them for wisdom
Speaker 8: and understanding in their own relationships.
Speaker 4: Has it had any bearing on my life today?
Speaker 8: Yes it has.
Speaker 4: Do I have experiences in the relationship that I'm in
Speaker 4: with Buffy?
Speaker 1: Yes I do.
Speaker 8: Do I go back to God and ask, how can
Speaker 8: I speak a little bit better? How can I have
Speaker 8: this teachable spirit? How can I have a better listening understanding?
Speaker 8: And I'm saying this today, Let's try not to take
Speaker 8: each other for granted. If we if we spend more
Speaker 8: time encouraging one another and being able to build each
Speaker 8: other up, there'll be.
Speaker 4: Less criticism, They'll be less hurt.
Speaker 8: There'll be more patience, more understanding, more resilience. So that
Speaker 8: we complete one another, We are strengthened by one another.
Speaker 8: We uphold one another so that both of us can
Speaker 8: walk together. That's my favorite, one of my favorite scriptures.
Speaker 4: Amus three to three.
Speaker 8: Can it's a question, can to walk together except they
Speaker 8: be agreed they have do you have to come to
Speaker 8: an agreement, a compromisation along the line somewhere and say, well,
Speaker 8: you know what for I think the other day I
Speaker 8: said to God, you know, we were talking about something,
Speaker 8: and I felt that, you know, the way of the
Speaker 8: of how the conversation went, moved more and inclined to
Speaker 8: his his desire to see it happen, and I had
Speaker 8: to sit back to myself and I had to honestly,
Speaker 8: you could ask him here. I had to say to myself,
Speaker 8: you know what, let's not just you know, disagree on
Speaker 8: this point. Let's pray and let's just move on. And
Speaker 8: that's how we did it practically, because I don't like
Speaker 8: fester in neither of this God in relationships, and I
Speaker 8: see a lot of relationships where we both are involved
Speaker 8: in there's a lot of lack of understanding or patient
Speaker 8: for one another. And I think when we are Christians,
Speaker 8: especially Adventists, we tend to we know the word be
Speaker 8: constructed by the Word, but we don't necessarily practically live
Speaker 8: out the word as it is. And we have to
Speaker 8: get to the stage whereby we we compromise in the
Speaker 8: sense so that it strengthens are better well beaten it.
Speaker 8: It strengthens our emotional intelligence, It strengthens our spiritual oneness
Speaker 8: with each other, immunity with christ.
Speaker 2: I went again.
Speaker 1: But I love that.
Speaker 7: But it's interesting that you said the last bit there
Speaker 7: about actually we know the word, and that's I suppose
Speaker 7: in some ways, you know we've all been talking. There
Speaker 7: is something in the back of my mind that's saying, yeah,
Speaker 7: that's all well and good in theory, but it is
Speaker 7: a practical things.
Speaker 1: What does that really look like?
Speaker 7: And actually, as you said, sometimes we don't necessarily practically
Speaker 7: live out the word. You know, I know and I
Speaker 7: can speak it, but sometimes actions be way lader than words,
Speaker 7: and actions are probably going to make a big difference.
Speaker 1: So that's yes, A really that's a really interesting point.
Speaker 1: Necessarily thought of it in that way, I'm Hillton.
Speaker 2: Can I get your permission to talk to those things?
Speaker 2: And you could give me three minutes so I could
Speaker 2: be on point. First of all, I must say that
Speaker 2: Geraldine and God, they are the epitome of what everything
Speaker 2: that we're talking about, even we're training, so they can
Speaker 2: live that kind of life. It's very easy for you know,
Speaker 2: the psychologists and the therapists and the counselor and the
Speaker 2: teacher to have that kind of relating and relationship because
Speaker 2: they are skilled in that. For us lesser mortals and
Speaker 2: those of us who have to grapple without that kind
Speaker 2: of high headed training and skill, I want to say,
Speaker 2: Zenyah that that marriage is actually a school, and I
Speaker 2: think it's the crucible that God ordains for us to
Speaker 2: pass through in order to develop the qualities and training
Speaker 2: that is required for us to become better Christians. So yes,
Speaker 2: I agree with you. It is a lot more challenging
Speaker 2: to extend grace and patience to those that we are
Speaker 2: closest to, but it is actually demanded of us. But
Speaker 2: if you really want to become better in anything, take
Speaker 2: any skill, any whether it's sports or singing, whatever we
Speaker 2: want to become better in, we have to go through
Speaker 2: the hard knocks, the grind. If you want to develop muscles,
Speaker 2: you actually have to train your muscles. If you want
Speaker 2: to become anything, it's very difficult. And as you go
Speaker 2: through the grind, if you want to love, if you
Speaker 2: want patience, then God is going to allow you to
Speaker 2: come up against circumstances that you have to actually practiced patients.
Speaker 2: And I think that's more than any other institution in
Speaker 2: the world, that marriage or a family is that one
Speaker 2: institution that helps us all to develop the graces of
Speaker 2: the fruit of the spirit. You know, cristis that you
Speaker 2: must forgive seven times. I don't know any other place
Speaker 2: where you have to practice that, particularly marriage. I could
Speaker 2: tell you so, married person, you don't have to you know,
Speaker 2: it is a million times you have to forgive in
Speaker 2: terms of patients. When you have a child crying the
Speaker 2: head of at two o'clock in the night, when you
Speaker 2: have to get up to go to work. Angela, you're
Speaker 2: spared of that. I don't know anything you have children,
Speaker 2: But when you need to try to calm a child,
Speaker 2: or you have a teenager in your house who's talking
Speaker 2: back to you, I could tell you from the Caribbean,
Speaker 2: your smoke is coming out to your nose and your age,
Speaker 2: and God is requiring of you to be patient and
Speaker 2: to be loving. And I think to respond to your question, yes,
Speaker 2: it is much more challenging to deal with. You know,
Speaker 2: It's all right to be kind to the stranger out there,
Speaker 2: give money to the person on the street to you know,
Speaker 2: be loving and tender hearted to someone that you live
Speaker 2: there and you come back home. But your own family,
Speaker 2: God is requiring us to develop those skills, and Lanhy says,
Speaker 2: it's nicely that your family, the home is the first
Speaker 2: missionary field, so you know that aside, can I speak
Speaker 2: quickly on the form of things that we were speaking
Speaker 2: about in terms of practically how do we go about
Speaker 2: preparing ourselves? So we have said a lot. One of
Speaker 2: the simple exercises I get people who come to me
Speaker 2: it is simply to think about the type of family
Speaker 2: or home that they want to have, to projecting the future,
Speaker 2: what type of home, what type of family, What type
Speaker 2: of environment would you like to have? And when you project,
Speaker 2: you know, think about the details of it. Think about
Speaker 2: what kind of atmosphere you would want you in your home,
Speaker 2: think about how you would want to treat your children.
Speaker 2: And sometimes I e can't give them the exercise of
Speaker 2: think thinking about a day in the life of their
Speaker 2: family and maybe a Sunday morning or Sabbath morning. What's
Speaker 2: going to happen from the first thing, there's wake up,
Speaker 2: go through the details. Who's going to get the children up,
Speaker 2: who's going to have prayer. Who is going to prepare breakfast?
Speaker 2: For kind of breakfast? I just sorry, help them to
Speaker 2: chart the type to the home that they want to have,
Speaker 2: and then we reverse engineer that what type of person
Speaker 2: do you need to be.
Speaker 17: To have that?
Speaker 2: And what type of spouse do you need to create that?
Speaker 2: And I'll just leand and end with this by saying
Speaker 2: that marriage don't you don't really fall into marriage. You
Speaker 2: don't walk into marriage. You don't stumbling, you know, stumbling
Speaker 2: to love. Love is actually a creation, or more better
Speaker 2: yet a core creation you created. And yes, there are
Speaker 2: lots of places that we are informed about love. And
Speaker 2: if you talk to the teacher God, you know, many
Speaker 2: teachers they teach didactically. They stand up in front and
Speaker 2: just give knowledge out. But human beings learn more through
Speaker 2: what we call osmosis. We learn through being exposed to
Speaker 2: and many of us in our family of origin are
Speaker 2: exposed to this what we call dysfunctionality. Many of us
Speaker 2: grow up in dysfunctional environment. I think it was Petro
Speaker 2: was saying that he came from a single parent home,
Speaker 2: whereas his wife was from a two parent home, and
Speaker 2: the template that they had when they came together clashed
Speaker 2: because the expectation was different, but yet they were able
Speaker 2: to navigate that. And I think the last thing I
Speaker 2: would like to say is that you need to be
Speaker 2: able to have two things. You need to have to
Speaker 2: be able to have what it be called binocular vision,
Speaker 2: and you need to be able to use what is
Speaker 2: called attunement. You need to attune to the other person.
Speaker 2: I think mothers are very good at this because they're
Speaker 2: attuned to the child even if the child is when
Speaker 2: the child is crying, child can't talk, but mothers have
Speaker 2: this intuitive thing as trying to sense what is actually
Speaker 2: going on within that child. And I think we need
Speaker 2: to bring that to our adult relationship and look beyond
Speaker 2: the presenting behavior. Maybe I should do right here.
Speaker 7: As you were speaking there, I was just thinking, thank
Speaker 7: you for that, Hilton. I'm just kind of come to
Speaker 7: Zena and Shade as both of you fairly newly married
Speaker 7: in the sense of a couple of years. And I
Speaker 7: guess Shadow want to come to you because you've when
Speaker 7: you introduced yourself, you were saying that you'll be mad
Speaker 7: for a couple of years, and actually it's been going
Speaker 7: really well. So some of the things that have come
Speaker 7: up has some of that resonated with you as things
Speaker 7: that you've done or is there anything that you think, Actually,
Speaker 7: this is what's happened in our say, our your yours
Speaker 7: and your husband's relationship that has helped to create a
Speaker 7: successful word. As you said, you know, it's been take
Speaker 7: you use the word easy or is it that you
Speaker 7: asked the question is it really that easy kind of thing?
Speaker 7: But some of the things that have been shared, has
Speaker 7: that resonated with you?
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of it resonated with me. I think
Speaker 4: more from a.
Speaker 10: What's going to be further along the road in terms
Speaker 10: of like what is to come, like a lot of
Speaker 10: advice and a lot of like points that I can
Speaker 10: take and be like, okay when this arises then because
Speaker 10: I'm like Geraldine says, her and her husband pray and
Speaker 10: they're like, we'll deal with it.
Speaker 4: We'll talk about this later. And it's something that me
Speaker 4: and my husband does.
Speaker 10: Like even when we have a little disagreement, because we
Speaker 10: don't have massive arguments like I would have would have
Speaker 10: had it in the past. More because I now understand
Speaker 10: my role because I'm very strong minded, very very vocal.
Speaker 4: You know, he is not quite so vocal, but he's
Speaker 4: quite strong, but not so vocal.
Speaker 10: So me understanding my role that has minimized the way
Speaker 10: we interact on a conflict level doesn't make sense. But
Speaker 10: sometimes we're upset with each other, I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 10: not going to talk, and he'll be like, right, that's it.
Speaker 10: We're praying, come, let's go so and I'm just like,
Speaker 10: oh God, I'm just like, okay, let's I'm not going
Speaker 10: to say I'm not going to pray. So we're praying,
Speaker 10: and you will start talking to God and you like, Lord,
Speaker 10: please help me and my wife to understand each other,
Speaker 10: Please give us grace. And I'm just like, he's talking
Speaker 10: to me when he's talking to God. And after someone
Speaker 10: prays with you like that, you're just like, Okay, how
Speaker 10: do I then stay angry? How do I allow the
Speaker 10: devil to keep this anger here instead of us talking
Speaker 10: about it?
Speaker 4: And what I mean, like, it's easy.
Speaker 10: I mean a lot of all my other relationships, well
Speaker 10: it's not that many, but my my my previous relationships,
Speaker 10: I always found.
Speaker 4: That because I didn't really know.
Speaker 10: Who the other person was, we had a lot of
Speaker 10: uncomfortable silences. So it was when I started to understand
Speaker 10: what I wanted because I feel like what my last
Speaker 10: relationship before I got married, I felt like I was
Speaker 10: going down a rabbit hole of trying to be what
Speaker 10: the other person wanted me to be in opposed to
Speaker 10: what God designed me to be and who I needed
Speaker 10: to be in my relationship. I found that in retrospect,
Speaker 10: I was losing myself a little because I was always
Speaker 10: compromising on what they wanted to do and it wasn't
Speaker 10: very good. So now I'm like when I was when
Speaker 10: I came out of that relationship.
Speaker 4: Then I was like, what does God want me to be?
Speaker 10: That was my first question to myself because I was
Speaker 10: just like, I don't understand why I'm doing it. I
Speaker 10: don't understand I keep choosing situations that I'm not healthy,
Speaker 10: that I'm not good, that mentally have been in a
Speaker 10: bad place.
Speaker 4: So what does God want?
Speaker 1: What do I need to be?
Speaker 4: I spoke to some of my older mother.
Speaker 10: Figures and they gave me a lot of good advice
Speaker 10: to be like, figure out what God has purposed for you.
Speaker 10: And when I spoke about understanding my role, I then
Speaker 10: started to understand, Okay, this is who I'm meant to
Speaker 10: be in my relationship and then I when I was
Speaker 10: having conversations with me, but I threw the hard questions
Speaker 10: out because I was just like, okay, but what do
Speaker 10: you think about marriage?
Speaker 4: How are we gonna? I'm gonna pray with the children?
Speaker 4: Are we gonna?
Speaker 10: So like we had to have these hard comms stations
Speaker 10: at the beginning. So when I'm like, it's easy, it's
Speaker 10: easy in the in the sense that because I knew
Speaker 10: why I wanted and where I was going myself, then
Speaker 10: I picked the right person, if.
Speaker 6: That makes sense.
Speaker 10: So now we have the silences where like we're together
Speaker 10: in a room and we don't have to talk, or
Speaker 10: we don't have to fill it with a date, or
Speaker 10: we don't have to fill it with something to do,
Speaker 10: you know, because we're comfortable.
Speaker 4: In this space, you know where my other relationships were
Speaker 4: hard because I'm just like, Okay, we haven't talked in
Speaker 4: ten minutes. I need to say something, do you know
Speaker 4: what I mean? If that makes sense. So and we
Speaker 4: understand we've been friends for a long time.
Speaker 10: It's weird because again, friendship is very important in your
Speaker 10: relationship because the honeymoon greer is going to die off
Speaker 10: eventually and then you're going to have to communicate, not
Speaker 10: with the butterflies and stuff, but as two individuals trying
Speaker 10: to come together. So having very similar likes and we're
Speaker 10: very opposite. I'm very if you meet us in like,
Speaker 10: I don't know if you notice aatistics where he's very.
Speaker 4: Quite doesn't really where I'm just like, yeah, so, but
Speaker 4: I had.
Speaker 10: To understand that even in silence, he's saying a lot
Speaker 10: and I had to understand that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 10: So I'm like, when we have conflict, I'm like, we
Speaker 10: need to talk about this, and he's like, I need
Speaker 10: just he needs to go over it in his head
Speaker 10: and when he.
Speaker 4: Comes back, he comes up with very profound solutions.
Speaker 10: But I'm just like that I needed hearing our where
Speaker 10: He's like, so, I guess it's compassion, it's understanding each other.
Speaker 10: It's and that's why I say it's easy because I'm
Speaker 10: in this new I'm in this marriage understanding my role
Speaker 10: and understanding how to communicate instead of just being what
Speaker 10: the other person wanted you to be, because that makes sense.
Speaker 10: But I understand what God like, I understand the descience
Speaker 10: for marriage. I understand if there is conflict, if there
Speaker 10: is an issue, what is my role, you know what
Speaker 10: am I? And again understanding your role and how it's
Speaker 10: going to work in the twenty first century, and I
Speaker 10: think a lot of young people don't. The society doesn't
Speaker 10: allow us to understand the roles. It gives us a
Speaker 10: template of what we're supposed to be and what we're
Speaker 10: supposed to look like. And God has given that to
Speaker 10: us already. And the only way you're going to know
Speaker 10: if you read the Bible, if you read the literature,
Speaker 10: if you have conversations with Christian couples that have been
Speaker 10: in situations, and they will tell you to go and progress.
Speaker 10: When people talk to me that, I'll be like, girl,
Speaker 10: you need to read the Bible. You need to go
Speaker 10: and find out what God wants you to be, what
Speaker 10: God has designed for you to be in your relationship.
Speaker 10: And that's the only way it's going to be. I
Speaker 10: have my niece, she's nineteen, she's living with us. She's
Speaker 10: now in a space where when she's in college, a
Speaker 10: lot of her peers have boyfriends. She doesn't have a boyfriend,
Speaker 10: but she's in the space of thinking, Okay, eventually, Auntie,
Speaker 10: how do I then navigate this. I'm having to understand
Speaker 10: what I'm supposed to do to then be able to
Speaker 10: give her. My mom never gave me that advice, so
Speaker 10: I had to find this all out on my own
Speaker 10: talking to older people as well. So when I say
Speaker 10: it's easy, I mean it's easy only because I know
Speaker 10: understand what I am supposed to do, what I want
Speaker 10: to meet, and what I'm supposed to be for him,
Speaker 10: and he understands what he's supposed to.
Speaker 4: Be for me as well. So that's what I'm meant
Speaker 4: by it's easy.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I think it it's key what you're saying
Speaker 7: there as well, because we talked a little bit about
Speaker 7: how we started by talking about how we work on ourselves,
Speaker 7: and I think it is that balance between you know,
Speaker 7: your own personal development and your own growth, and then
Speaker 7: that impacting the way in which you are having your
Speaker 7: relationships and how you go back. And as you said,
Speaker 7: you've taken guidance and advice from other people, those older
Speaker 7: mothers of older fathers as well, maybe you know, to
Speaker 7: actually guide you, which is definitely sorry.
Speaker 10: Can I also say something as well, I'm so sorry
Speaker 10: what I did want to say when I talk to
Speaker 10: the older people in our community, the people that commented
Speaker 10: the saloon, the people at church, people that are me,
Speaker 10: just all the folks that I'm married for for fifty years.
Speaker 10: Whatever they do advise me. And I started reading the Bible.
Speaker 10: It's right in there, so that's what I mean, like
Speaker 10: it's there. But my generation, the younger generation, is just like, we.
Speaker 12: Don't want to read.
Speaker 10: I listened to a lot of podcasts. I listen to
Speaker 10: a lot of books and stuff, but you have to
Speaker 10: read it for yourself. But it doesn't resonate. You should
Speaker 10: think that this older persons just say that, and that's
Speaker 10: not really that. It goes, well, we're coming from reject
Speaker 10: They're coming from a generation where they read the Bible
Speaker 10: and they have the old school template.
Speaker 4: But it's still the present day template.
Speaker 10: It's just we have to figure out how it works
Speaker 10: for us in this generation because every single piece of
Speaker 10: advice I've gone, I've read it in the Bible at
Speaker 10: some point. Do you understand because it is there. God
Speaker 10: has given us the template. We go back to creation,
Speaker 10: We go back to dunderneath what was the world.
Speaker 4: Adam had his purpose.
Speaker 10: You can't be with a man who doesn't know his purpose.
Speaker 10: Then you're now acting in your masculine energy and you're leading,
Speaker 10: and he's uncomfortable, and there's a lot of conflict because.
Speaker 4: No one knows what they're doing.
Speaker 10: So it's about us as individuals going back and having
Speaker 10: a partner that is happy to walk with you. And
Speaker 10: we might be on different levels when it comes to
Speaker 10: or spiritual growth and or relationship with God, but we're
Speaker 10: both walking along the same path. And it's about us
Speaker 10: going back because right now we're reading the Adventuge of
Speaker 10: great book.
Speaker 4: I read it a couple of years ago, but I
Speaker 4: read it.
Speaker 2: With like.
Speaker 10: Blinkers on my eyes, if that makes sense. Now I'm
Speaker 10: reading it with a different mindset. I'm in the marriage,
Speaker 10: so I'm trying to understand it a bit better, and
Speaker 10: this book has a lot of insight into you know.
Speaker 10: But she's again, it's biblical principle, so once you go
Speaker 10: back to the Bible, she's just making it very practical
Speaker 10: and even in today, the twenty first century, it's applicable.
Speaker 10: We can put that into as young people. It tells
Speaker 10: you how to date, how to then be your role
Speaker 10: and make your husband understand your role because he's listening
Speaker 10: and he understands what he should be looking for, and
Speaker 10: you understand what you do you get one trying to
Speaker 10: say so, it's about personal government, definitely, and about communicating.
Speaker 4: What you want.
Speaker 10: But if you don't know what you want, then you
Speaker 10: can't communicate that and you end up and then you
Speaker 10: end up in somewhere that you're being pulled further away from.
Speaker 4: God like I was, and you lose yourself as well.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 11: I just want to add, I just want to add
Speaker 11: another reality in terms of counseling, in terms of getting help.
Speaker 11: While yes, there is a great responsibility for us as
Speaker 11: individuals to develop to know or purpose, have a goal
Speaker 11: and so on, we're not perfect and sometimes we may
Speaker 11: hit a ditch, we may something might hit us, and
Speaker 11: we have to also train our minds to accept help,
Speaker 11: to accept that hey, I cannot do it by myself.
Speaker 12: And I'm not talking about help from our a.
Speaker 11: Friend or the friend or the wife or husband, but
Speaker 11: I'm talking about special specialized persons, counselors.
Speaker 12: Sometimes our bodies is linked with the mind. The physical
Speaker 12: is linked with.
Speaker 11: The mind, and sometimes we have to actually take not
Speaker 11: just food which will have nutrients to stimulate certain parts
Speaker 11: of the body and the mind to behave a particular way.
Speaker 11: But sometimes an emergency, like we have to go and
Speaker 11: do an emergency operation. We may have to take a tablet,
Speaker 11: we may have to take an injection and then you know.
Speaker 12: To straight mess up and then to be schooled or
Speaker 12: trained or retrained by a professional.
Speaker 2: Coaches, etc.
Speaker 11: So it is important for us to know that sometimes
Speaker 11: we have to take our cut the right mechanic or
Speaker 11: the riety lecture sham or the right person to give
Speaker 11: us the heir that we may not even realize we need.
Speaker 1: Okay, love that love that I think, sorry, go ahead,
Speaker 1: go ahead.
Speaker 6: No, I heard what you're saying. And in terms of
Speaker 6: me being in a very.
Speaker 3: Young marriage, I felt very protective of it like that
Speaker 3: I'm still trying to figure out.
Speaker 6: What it is, what it means, how we're going to
Speaker 6: get through this.
Speaker 3: And what I find is that there's a lot of
Speaker 3: noise out there, there's a lot of information, there's a
Speaker 3: lot of detail. So my advice would be even to
Speaker 3: start with prayer and making sure that your spirit led,
Speaker 3: because I would say to say, you know what, Yes,
Speaker 3: our elders know what our elders have are working off
Speaker 3: their own traumas, their own experiences. So you may go
Speaker 3: to the wrong person, Yes, nelder may be an elder,
Speaker 3: but still not wise or not the person that should
Speaker 3: be speaking into your relationship. So I feel like it's
Speaker 3: an easy thing to say, and I say it often,
Speaker 3: but we need to be spirit led.
Speaker 6: We need to know where we are going for the information.
Speaker 3: What information we're needing to seek, so that we can
Speaker 3: choose the right people to speak into our lives and
Speaker 3: the right materials to read, the right.
Speaker 6: Places to go.
Speaker 3: Even in terms of counselors, there are several counselors out there,
Speaker 3: but which one is for you?
Speaker 6: Which one will be the right choice for you and
Speaker 6: your partner, your your your husband or why? So that's
Speaker 6: where I am. I think that.
Speaker 3: Jolden you said it. You said it best in terms
Speaker 3: of amos. Lest we agree, we're not going anywhere.
Speaker 6: So that's that's first and foremost. And love is a
Speaker 6: fantastic word for Hilton.
Speaker 3: You you hinted to it, you said it's it's just
Speaker 3: a word unless we we make practical unless we seek
Speaker 3: to do things that will enhance the relationship. That's what
Speaker 3: I'm finding most about marriage. Yes, I love him, WHOA Yeah,
Speaker 3: we love each other. I made a decision to.
Speaker 6: Go down the aisle with him.
Speaker 3: But here comes the work, Here comes the effort, Here
Speaker 3: comes the things that we need to do practically, And.
Speaker 6: Yes, I know it, but can we do it? Can
Speaker 6: we set aside that night for date night? It's hard
Speaker 6: to do.
Speaker 3: We've been pulled in several directions. Do I set aside
Speaker 3: that time for counseling?
Speaker 6: It's hard to do. Where do we find the finances?
Speaker 3: It's all that stuff that we know. Yes, it's good
Speaker 3: to do, but do we really do it? Can we
Speaker 3: find the time to do it? And how we agreed
Speaker 3: that this is what we need to do?
Speaker 6: And I think for me, prayer is probably the easiest,
Speaker 6: the best way to start.
Speaker 3: You don't need any finances, Thank God, we don't need
Speaker 3: anything to fall on our knees.
Speaker 6: And approach Him in prayer. We don't need any money,
Speaker 6: We don't need, you know, So we just go go.
Speaker 3: We can go together. I love what Saturday says. You know,
Speaker 3: I think that's a bit of a cheat. But he
Speaker 3: pulls her aside in the middle of the argument.
Speaker 6: And what a way to diffuse it. Let's pray and
Speaker 6: let's just get closer to God. With God in it.
Speaker 6: How can you be arguing? How can you be upset
Speaker 6: and Hilton. You mentioned three.
Speaker 3: Essays and I thought you were going to mention a fourth,
Speaker 3: but I'll leave it there in terms of what's involved
Speaker 3: in marriage, because these are all things that you've.
Speaker 6: Got to work on. You've got to.
Speaker 3: It's work, and I think Prento said it best. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's work. It's forget the magic and all the stuff
Speaker 3: you see on TikTok and all that kind of business.
Speaker 3: And that's something we need to say as well. We're
Speaker 3: coming back next week and we're going to be speaking
Speaker 3: to our young people. Said, hey, maybe you want to
Speaker 3: come back on the show if you're available, but we're
Speaker 3: going to be speaking to the young people and finding
Speaker 3: out if they see it how we've seen it, gen
Speaker 3: X and all that, because has that role changed? Is
Speaker 3: there such a thing and I'm throwing it out as
Speaker 3: seven or three, but is there such a thing as
Speaker 3: the proverb of thirty one man?
Speaker 6: M Yeah, exactly, So they're there, I mean perhaps not Biblically.
Speaker 6: Are the roles changing in terms of who and what
Speaker 6: and what are we doing together?
Speaker 3: And is the man still needing to lead or the
Speaker 3: women now leading because of the absence of strong men
Speaker 3: our Oh dear colleagues, come on, and I think that's
Speaker 3: where the conversation went last time.
Speaker 6: So, yeah, what has changed? What do our young people
Speaker 6: see is different?
Speaker 3: And where do we find the environment that we can
Speaker 3: foster these things that we need to do, the skills
Speaker 3: that we need to have, and maybe.
Speaker 6: The church is a place to start.
Speaker 3: The conversations need to be had, and thankfully that's what
Speaker 3: talking point is about, having the conversations that we don't
Speaker 3: necessarily have on a Sabbath afternoon or a Sabbath morning,
Speaker 3: where our young people can learn or anybody to understand
Speaker 3: dynamics of a relationship and making us stronger. As a mouthful,
Speaker 3: but I think that's my final word for the evening.
Speaker 2: And I don't know.
Speaker 12: As he's about to leave, he said, you want to
Speaker 12: share before.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, certainly you're saying you were about to leave us.
Speaker 3: There any final words of wisdom that you'd like to
Speaker 3: leave us with actually.
Speaker 2: Going to click the leief button. I just couldn't thinking.
Speaker 2: I think the one thing that comes to my mind,
Speaker 2: along with the fact that God should be the central
Speaker 2: part of our relationship, I think what is most important
Speaker 2: is to recognize that how we treat each other is significant.
Speaker 2: It is not necessarily how beautiful you are, how much
Speaker 2: money you have, how much resources and assets that you have. Ultimately,
Speaker 2: what people feel and respond to is how you treat them,
Speaker 2: and if you treat them with love and esteem, and
Speaker 2: if you honor them, if you make them matter to you,
Speaker 2: if you put them before you, as Paul says that
Speaker 2: we must, you know, put the other if you treat them,
Speaker 2: you know, like Christ who said that, you know, he
Speaker 2: didn't think it was robbery to be equal with God,
Speaker 2: and he came as a servant. When you treat people
Speaker 2: like that, they would want to be with you. However,
Speaker 2: when you delegrade, when you degrade, when you criticize, when
Speaker 2: you condemn and have contempt for people. For the majority
Speaker 2: of the time, this will come in off and on.
Speaker 2: But if this happens for a long period of time,
Speaker 2: you will find that the other person will not want
Speaker 2: to be with you. They would want to separate themselves
Speaker 2: from the pain and the agony of being in your
Speaker 2: presence when you make them less than they should be
Speaker 2: because they're the child of God and they have the
Speaker 2: image of God. So let's just focus on If you
Speaker 2: focus on how you can contribute to elevate this person.
Speaker 2: I think that would augment well for a high performance,
Speaker 2: rock solid, divorce proof marriage. That's my final input. Cool,
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you, Bye, everybody.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 7: Okay, And as he said that, I was kind of
Speaker 7: what I kind of wanted to know is well, I
Speaker 7: guess we're coming to the end of our show we've
Speaker 7: had and I'm saying the end.
Speaker 1: This is never the end. We've got Part two, Part three.
Speaker 1: I'm sure we.
Speaker 7: Could do on this one because there's a lot of
Speaker 7: that's been coming out, but I guess, And instead you
Speaker 7: were still talking there and Charlie was saying, in terms
Speaker 7: of you know, getting advice and inform, there is a
Speaker 7: lot of things out there, so I'm curious to know
Speaker 7: and we can chime in here what's kind of the
Speaker 7: best advice that you've been given and how has that
Speaker 7: been helpful in your relationships? And I guess also we've
Speaker 7: talked about some really practical things that we can do.
Speaker 7: Are there any other key practical steps you can take,
Speaker 7: things that you can do. There's been some really good
Speaker 7: keywords come through, you know, starting with God at the center.
Speaker 7: Prayer needs to be spirit led, you know, the kind
Speaker 7: of qualities that we need to be showing, I guess,
Speaker 7: demonstrating ourselves being ourselves selfless, not selfish, you know, kind, compassionate.
Speaker 7: So but I'm curious to know, you know, you know,
Speaker 7: we want to learn from other people. We want to
Speaker 7: learn from the books that we read and what have you.
Speaker 7: But what advice have you been given that's been really
Speaker 7: key and it has been helpful? And are there any
Speaker 7: other steps that we can take as well? As we're
Speaker 7: coming to our final thoughts? And God, go ahead, all right?
Speaker 11: I think all what you have said, what we have said,
Speaker 11: you know, we just after remember and.
Speaker 2: Are prior in our daily life.
Speaker 11: How can we make and how can we as individuals
Speaker 11: make a contribution to healthy relationship by being Christian what
Speaker 11: we know Christian? Or to be as was said in
Speaker 11: our daily life a long time? You know, Adventists used
Speaker 11: to be the people of the book, people of talk,
Speaker 11: people of the work, all right, so that when you
Speaker 11: see an Adventist coming down, you could tell, hey, that
Speaker 11: person looks like an Adventist because of their walk and
Speaker 11: talk and their mannerisms.
Speaker 5: You know, we as.
Speaker 11: People of influence, we need to remember that when we
Speaker 11: leave home after devotion. After time with God and the family,
Speaker 11: you also have time with the people that you meet
Speaker 11: so that yes.
Speaker 12: They are cultious.
Speaker 11: Like I've been to UK and I came with my
Speaker 11: adventist smile and my Adventist high and my blessings and
Speaker 11: the people either not a custom or they just don't business,
Speaker 11: they don't care. Right, it happens, but there would be someone,
Speaker 11: There would be some body in.
Speaker 12: Your walk during a day or the day that you
Speaker 12: would have just.
Speaker 11: Continued to keep that spirit and they would have either
Speaker 11: esteem or they would have either.
Speaker 12: Met that spirit to influence them.
Speaker 11: Into having a healthy relationship because they saw something in me,
Speaker 11: they saw something in you.
Speaker 12: And I think if with this time.
Speaker 11: Type of relationship that we are having online now and
Speaker 11: we are re establishing certain values and we are start
Speaker 11: establishing certain practices, I can tell that our future would
Speaker 11: be a better one socially, spiritually and in terms of
Speaker 11: building healthy relationships.
Speaker 4: So we just have to keep practicing it every day.
Speaker 11: For example, we know for a fact every day we're
Speaker 11: supposed to half time with God, half time.
Speaker 1: With the Spirit.
Speaker 11: And if we don't do that, we if we've been
Speaker 11: practicing it and we don't do it, we feel a
Speaker 11: how you know something is missing.
Speaker 2: I miss something today.
Speaker 12: I'm missing today, you know, I miss that thought, that
Speaker 12: blessing today.
Speaker 11: And I think, you know, in my experience with Geraldine,
Speaker 11: you know, we've both came together there with that ministry
Speaker 11: as it would she had her own ministry, I had
Speaker 11: my ministry. We came together and we tie them up
Speaker 11: as it would budge them together, you know, so that
Speaker 11: God could use them and use us, you know, for
Speaker 11: his glory and his honor, so that we just continue
Speaker 11: to team up as we have this what we call
Speaker 11: it the web.
Speaker 2: We just have to web up.
Speaker 11: Across disease, across the states with one another, touching base
Speaker 11: with one another to help one another, and individually we
Speaker 11: will definitely be developing healthy relationships.
Speaker 1: So thank you for that. Okay, any other thoughts, any advice, Shannon.
Speaker 9: Yes, when we grow into a really as we grow
Speaker 9: a relationship, you need to nurture it and so on.
Speaker 9: But as the years pilon, oftentimes we get complacent.
Speaker 6: And weary of investing and and even distracted.
Speaker 9: You may see someone else or someone else.
Speaker 4: Is you know, pining after you.
Speaker 9: But is to keep the priority in focus what is
Speaker 9: important to you and what you're investing in so that
Speaker 9: those blessings that.
Speaker 6: That God as.
Speaker 9: That will come to you and that will keep coming
Speaker 9: as a result.
Speaker 4: Of doing the right thing. The other thing is to
Speaker 4: keep dreaming.
Speaker 9: Or not just yourself, but for the other special person.
Speaker 9: Include them in your life, in the mission, in whatever
Speaker 9: you're working at, because if you're going to have a
Speaker 9: help meet, then they need to be helping you to
Speaker 9: be doing stuff. You know, you're working towards something together,
Speaker 9: You're doing life together.
Speaker 6: So keep having those dreams or.
Speaker 9: Those missions being by including them in those for example,
Speaker 9: you're building a house, for example, let them know what
Speaker 9: you know, what you're doing so that they can support
Speaker 9: you in that, not be selfish, you know, and ask
Speaker 9: the right questions how does this make you feel? Or
Speaker 9: reflecting on what has happened. If you've had a quarrel,
Speaker 9: you talk about it. Maybe it's not right. How when
Speaker 9: it's heated, But after a couple of hours, you guys
Speaker 9: come together, Okay.
Speaker 6: We need to talk what happen here? How can I
Speaker 6: do this better?
Speaker 4: Or could you do this better?
Speaker 6: It caused me to do this? I don't know what's wrong?
Speaker 18: You know?
Speaker 6: So and as we apply, as we uh.
Speaker 9: The play Bible, apply Bible, then it will become like
Speaker 9: their cold nature.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, Lovely.
Speaker 4: Had something.
Speaker 8: Okay, Well, practically three things I would say, and I
Speaker 8: think they've been said already in a roundabout way and
Speaker 8: in a direct way.
Speaker 4: At Christ centeredness, you must have that relationship with God.
Speaker 8: If you connect ventrically, then you can collect connect horizontally
Speaker 8: commitment and communication.
Speaker 1: But how do I do these things?
Speaker 4: Charlat and her husband gave a good practical.
Speaker 8: Advice on the platform this evening, and they are actually
Speaker 8: reading the adventures for reading and discussing is one of
Speaker 8: the beautiful ways that you can understand yourself and your
Speaker 8: spouse as well as being able to apply those principles
Speaker 8: in practice.
Speaker 4: And I think when you share it, when you're sharing.
Speaker 8: Together, it allows you to open up a little bit
Speaker 8: more of an understanding of what one another likes, how
Speaker 8: each other can grow, and how you can improve. But
Speaker 8: two things that come to mind are intentionality and being
Speaker 8: purposeful in your desire to grow together as a couple.
Speaker 8: Data and I are not married yet. We are marrying
Speaker 8: in the summer by the grace of God. So we
Speaker 8: solicit your prayers. But one of the things I will
Speaker 8: say is our human tendency is to be selfish. And
Speaker 8: I think, as the Bible says, we are born in
Speaker 8: sin and shape and in iniquity. So when we do
Speaker 8: have slight difference or when we're struggling in a relationship,
Speaker 8: it's always good to even though sometimes you may not
Speaker 8: be able, to try and have a positive mindset and
Speaker 8: embrace the change, because with every change comes challenges. Yes,
Speaker 8: but those challenges can always be worked and improved upon.
Speaker 8: And these are some practical steps that we can give.
Speaker 8: I remember Zenya was saying, she can't you know who
Speaker 8: has money for counseling?
Speaker 4: Well, if you ask, you might get a free right.
Speaker 12: But and I.
Speaker 2: We do.
Speaker 8: Give relationship counseling, and we've been doing so for many years,
Speaker 8: in fact, separately and collectively together now. And I'm not
Speaker 8: the person who will say just give me your money. No, no, no,
Speaker 8: because I counsel every day people ring. I counsel every day,
Speaker 8: and so if people need counseling, we are free to give.
Speaker 8: You know, freely have received the word of process, freely give.
Speaker 8: And I think the last thing I will say is.
Speaker 4: I believe in. We believe in.
Speaker 8: Should I say because we often talk about it husband
Speaker 8: and wife ministry, and if you're struggling in your marriage
Speaker 8: or your relationship, it may be that there is a
Speaker 8: loose connection somewhere where you just need to find what
Speaker 8: ministry God has for you as a couple, because it
Speaker 8: really will enhance and improve on the practicality of your relationship.
Speaker 8: And that's something that we do. We're passionate about it
Speaker 8: and we will help you find your ministry.
Speaker 1: Okay, call us let.
Speaker 8: Us know or in that respect, but God is love
Speaker 8: and we are faced with challenges each and every day.
Speaker 8: One of the things I will say, prayer is powerful
Speaker 8: in your couple relationship. It is a powerful source. And
Speaker 8: whatever you feel that God cannot do, he says, I
Speaker 8: am the possible God. Impossible, you know, He transcends across
Speaker 8: time and space, which means to me that there's nothing
Speaker 8: that God cannot do. And that's the encouragement. I want
Speaker 8: to leave this evening for everybody that's trying and failing
Speaker 8: or not wanting to go again. God has your pan
Speaker 8: mapped out for you and He is the impossible God.
Speaker 4: He can do anything. You just have to learn to
Speaker 4: trust him. Be built on the rock of cheese.
Speaker 5: Can I just pick your bag off for that? Yeah, Petri,
Speaker 5: Oh real quick, I know we're running out of time.
Speaker 5: First of all, I want to say when I was
Speaker 5: talking earlier about like therapists and everything, I'm not saying
Speaker 5: we don't listen to them. I'm saying we just don't
Speaker 5: only listen to them like you listen to them and life.
Speaker 5: You have to combine it. We have a tendency to
Speaker 5: go one way or the other. That was my first
Speaker 5: point because I want to clear that up. What Jereddy
Speaker 5: just said is so true because said it was so true.
Speaker 5: It's like for like, I'm only talking about experience, like
Speaker 5: my marriage was in shambles maybe the first ten twelve
Speaker 5: years of our marriage. It's not until we start doing
Speaker 5: the podcast and I'm plugging. I'm sorry, but I'm plugging
Speaker 5: hear my marriage podcast, which we do. But I tell
Speaker 5: people all the time that we They asked us why
Speaker 5: did we start, and I tell them that that was
Speaker 5: our way of healing each other while we was just talking.
Speaker 5: So we just got on the platform. We just started talking,
Speaker 5: and what we found was that we was healing ourselves
Speaker 5: and it made our marriage stronger because we was able
Speaker 5: to have a safe platform where the issues that we
Speaker 5: was having we could talk about them, but we couldn't
Speaker 5: respond the way we wanted to. So what's happening was
Speaker 5: after the podcast, my wife would look at me and
Speaker 5: she'd say, so that's how you really felt, or I
Speaker 5: said that's how you really felt, and then we would
Speaker 5: have a discussion. So it was it was like helping
Speaker 5: us to make our marriage stronger and more complete because
Speaker 5: we was able to understand and get an understanding of
Speaker 5: each other and where each other was coming from in
Speaker 5: a point of view. Because sometimes when you're having a
Speaker 5: discussion with your spouse or with your partner, you don't
Speaker 5: want to listen, you don't want to hear it. You're
Speaker 5: just in your own you know, your own space. And
Speaker 5: I tell people my wife is very emotional and I'm logical.
Speaker 5: So a lot of times we're having a discussion and
Speaker 5: she's doing it based on emotion, where I'm trying to
Speaker 5: do logic and she won't hear me. But when we
Speaker 5: when we when I talk about it on the podcast,
Speaker 5: she would actually listen. And then when we get off
Speaker 5: then she would actually say, Okay, let's have a discussion
Speaker 5: and I can get my point of course, where she
Speaker 5: won't you know, cut me off or say oh no,
Speaker 5: And so I agree with I was just piggybacking on
Speaker 5: what Jereddine just said because I think that's so true
Speaker 5: that you know, sometimes you have I guess what I'm
Speaker 5: saying is like, as a couple, you maybe have to
Speaker 5: find that medium that you can both that safe space
Speaker 5: that you can get to where you can have a
Speaker 5: conversation and park your your problems out and then that
Speaker 5: way it just helped your marriage to grow.
Speaker 1: Oh love you, thank you.
Speaker 7: Just had We've got collection is just joined the platform,
Speaker 7: and I know you've had a lot on so collechly, welcome,
Speaker 7: hope you're doing well. It was just really there, We're
Speaker 7: just coming to the end of wrapping up the show.
Speaker 7: But the question that I was really asking was kind of,
Speaker 7: you know, what's the best piece of advice you may
Speaker 7: have been given and how has that been helpful in
Speaker 7: terms of navigating relationships or do you have any tips
Speaker 7: that you have found we've been given that you found
Speaker 7: that have been helpful in developing a positive relationship.
Speaker 2: Hi, evening everyone.
Speaker 22: For me, it was from a gentleman years ago and
Speaker 22: he said to me in your single and he said
Speaker 22: to me, you need to invest in your relationship bank.
Speaker 22: And I said, what do you mean by that? He said,
Speaker 22: if there's a seminar on relationships attended, if there's a
Speaker 22: book to read, read it and gave as much information
Speaker 22: with her from those who are married or whatever. Just
Speaker 22: get as much information as you can. And as I've
Speaker 22: gotten older, I've realized that it's a beautiful thing because
Speaker 22: I have read a few books, I have been to seminars,
Speaker 22: and when situations come up in a relationship, I'm able
Speaker 22: to go into that two box that I've gathered of
Speaker 22: information and implemented. And the last two religion. The last
Speaker 22: relationship I've been in, I was with a young lady
Speaker 22: and I was talking to her and I realized that
Speaker 22: she had some issues she hasn't dealt with, and by
Speaker 22: talking to her because of the things I've been doing,
Speaker 22: she was able to go and get counseling and moved
Speaker 22: her forward in whatever she was struggling. So and secondly,
Speaker 22: my parents said the greatest example from me Hating's siblings,
Speaker 22: We've never heard my mom.
Speaker 2: And dad argue.
Speaker 22: We've never heard my dad speak to my mam a
Speaker 22: certain way it's always been, you know, mutual respect between
Speaker 22: them and the love and what they've shown us is beautiful.
Speaker 22: So for me, that's how I look at you know,
Speaker 22: what you would gather together for your own self and
Speaker 22: anything to do with self improvement. You gotta get on
Speaker 22: it because you I could be a very stubborn person,
Speaker 22: and I don't think I'm stubborn. But if two three
Speaker 22: people telling me that, you know, you're quite stubborn, you
Speaker 22: need to examine yourself and you know something, you know
Speaker 22: we keep saying about, oh, pray first.
Speaker 5: A lot of people use that.
Speaker 22: It sounds good, but when you're in the midst of
Speaker 22: the magnets, there's no prayer.
Speaker 5: You don't want to pray, you know, but but.
Speaker 4: It is the key.
Speaker 2: It is the key. Pray.
Speaker 22: And then I think someone said earlier, it's no good
Speaker 22: praying and then not acting upon what you've prayed about. Understand,
Speaker 22: you have to have Hebrews eleven in you. Understand. You
Speaker 22: have to have that faith, that trust. Even today, someone
Speaker 22: will saying to me, are you still single? Why are
Speaker 22: you single? Maybe you're the problem? Are you just to
Speaker 22: get a little upset with it? But I don't get
Speaker 22: upset now because I realize that, you know what, everybody's
Speaker 22: at different stages in life, and everybody's growing differently, and
Speaker 22: you know as well Sister said about when you're in
Speaker 22: a relationship and how you know when disagreements come. I
Speaker 22: was in this particularly.
Speaker 5: I was engaged at one point and.
Speaker 22: The lady, the lady, she was a little argumentative of
Speaker 22: certain things. And then one day the Holy Spirit said
Speaker 22: to me, if you know better, do better. So she
Speaker 22: was wrong about something, but I took it on me
Speaker 22: as as and I went there and I said, listen,
Speaker 22: I want to apologize to you. Seems that I've upset
Speaker 22: to you and it was.
Speaker 1: Not my intention.
Speaker 22: And it was about an hourly and she came to me.
Speaker 22: She got, oh, no, collect you. I want to apologize.
Speaker 22: I was wrong, And in that moment I realized that
Speaker 22: sometimes you just need to take that that that that
Speaker 22: the humble road and to help the other person, because
Speaker 22: you know you're with someone it's not that they hate,
Speaker 22: it's just that something said that they disliked. And it
Speaker 22: felt like you were attacking. And no one, none of
Speaker 22: us like when we're attacked. So I think it's just
Speaker 22: men and women, we all need to just take us stuck,
Speaker 22: deal with ourselves first. When you're you're better, when you're
Speaker 22: a good version of you, you will you know, you'll
Speaker 22: attract that. So that's my short input in the last
Speaker 22: minute dot com that's wonderful.
Speaker 7: Thank you appreciate that, Thank you very much. Shall go
Speaker 7: your hand, And I think that's maybe the last the
Speaker 7: last point.
Speaker 4: And then I just got like some advice quickly in
Speaker 4: my first a bit of advice.
Speaker 10: Would we always pray, Yeah, but like individually and together
Speaker 10: as a couple as well. And patience. I had to
Speaker 10: learn patience. I had to learn if we're having a
Speaker 10: disagreement and he doesn't want to respond straight away, I
Speaker 10: have to give him the time and the space to
Speaker 10: do that because I'm just I want to talk now,
Speaker 10: and he's like he needs time to process what's going on.
Speaker 10: So I'll say, patience with everything in your relationship. And
Speaker 10: also my husband always says something very early on in
Speaker 10: our relationship because of that strong masculine energy that I had,
Speaker 10: maybe just happening to survive and stuff.
Speaker 4: He was like, he said to me one time, listen.
Speaker 10: People listen to react, but you have to listen to understand.
Speaker 10: Do you know so it's not about just thinking that
Speaker 10: someone's always attacking you, like let you said, and being defensive,
Speaker 10: but listen and really trying to understand what the other
Speaker 10: person is saying, because how are we going to know
Speaker 10: if we're not listening. And it's a human nature to
Speaker 10: be defensive, it's human nature to want to protect yourself.
Speaker 4: But you have to listen in order to then come
Speaker 4: back and work through whatever you're going through. So I
Speaker 4: would say, pray, patience and listen so understand.
Speaker 1: Not to yet deflue.
Speaker 7: And that's a wonderful point to end on. Oh, we've
Speaker 7: come to the end of our show. We've got a
Speaker 7: little bit longer because you've got the time and there
Speaker 7: was just so much to.
Speaker 1: Listen to.
Speaker 7: The insights have been fantastic, So I want to thank
Speaker 7: everybody who's been on our panel today. Really appreciate your
Speaker 7: time and definitely you know, your insights into how we
Speaker 7: can make our relationships better.
Speaker 1: I have been scribbling in my notebook.
Speaker 7: There's been lots of key things here, so I'm going
Speaker 7: to go away and kind of, you know, unpack a
Speaker 7: lot of that as well for myself. But ultimately, you know,
Speaker 7: relationships can be successful. You know, we've heard about you know,
Speaker 7: and shadow you mentioned earlier, you know, sort of meeting
Speaker 7: a couple of being mad for something like seventy years.
Speaker 7: I think that is when you hear those kind of numbers,
Speaker 7: it's just amazing, you know, And they may have seen
Speaker 7: so much, gone through so much, and there's so much
Speaker 7: we can learn from those experiences. But wherever you are
Speaker 7: in your relationships, it may just be about how you
Speaker 7: build your friendships and how you maybe are then moving
Speaker 7: into more romantic relationships and you know, hopefully leading to
Speaker 7: marriage if that's what you desire, that we can be
Speaker 7: successful in those But ultimately, as everybody has said, you know,
Speaker 7: God has to be at the center, it has to
Speaker 7: be God first, and it's your relationship with Him and
Speaker 7: the reflection of his love and his grace and his
Speaker 7: mercy and his kindness that we can share to others
Speaker 7: and can enable us to have those those amazing relationships
Speaker 7: that He desires for us. I well, I thank you
Speaker 7: for joining us talking point. We spoke a lot about God.
Speaker 7: So if this is something that you may be knew
Speaker 7: for you that you may be hearing, do get in
Speaker 7: contact with the studio and we'd love to be able
Speaker 7: to help you explore what a relationship with God will
Speaker 7: look like. So you can contact us on studio ad
Speaker 7: Adventist Radio dot London, or you can send us a
Speaker 7: text message on eight triple two eight write hope and
Speaker 7: then your message, or we can send a WhatsApp zero
Speaker 7: seven four five nine six four two eight nine nine eight.
Speaker 7: Do get in contact if you want to know more
Speaker 7: about some of the things we've been talking about, and
Speaker 7: somebody will get back to you. I want to thank
Speaker 7: you all for joining us and really appreciate your time
Speaker 7: and really appreciate the contributions that you've made, and I
Speaker 7: hope it's been beneficial to you. I want to throw
Speaker 7: it out there. Would any really love to like to
Speaker 7: pray for us to clothes?
Speaker 1: Oh? Great pleasure, Thank you? Okay, all right, let's.
Speaker 22: Pray merciful Father in heaven. We just want to thank you,
Speaker 22: because Father, you're the one that put it in our
Speaker 22: hearts to have these discussions.
Speaker 2: Father.
Speaker 22: Many times we choose someone who we believe is our
Speaker 22: life partners and Father, the sad reality is that we
Speaker 22: chose and we didn't consult to you.
Speaker 4: Father.
Speaker 22: I'm praying for all the information, for all the insight
Speaker 22: given today, Father, that many will go away.
Speaker 2: Father, even those.
Speaker 22: Who will hear the podcast will go away, and Father
Speaker 22: be benefited by the information.
Speaker 1: That they receive.
Speaker 22: Father, we recognize that you are a God of love
Speaker 22: and you intend for us to have beautiful relationships. Father
Speaker 22: that will be a beacon to the world that they
Speaker 22: may know that we serve a living God. Father, bless
Speaker 22: us and keep us and help us to not just
Speaker 22: to be hearers, but to be doers of what we've
Speaker 22: heard tonight. Thank you for the hosts, continue to bless,
Speaker 22: to keep and to watch over her to grant her
Speaker 22: revelation knowledge. And for each one that partic took tonight. Lord,
Speaker 22: I'm praying that you move in their hearts and minds
Speaker 22: that Father, everything that will go over to make themselves
Speaker 22: a better version of.
Speaker 2: What you would have them to be.
Speaker 22: So help us as we strive daily that hope that
Speaker 22: glory which is nice in us, the hope of glory
Speaker 22: will shine through and we will be the better individual
Speaker 22: as we await your second coming.
Speaker 2: Thank you again for podcast. Bless and guide and keep us.
Speaker 2: We pray in your mighty name.
Speaker 7: Amen, Amen, Amen, Thank you once again, Thank you everybody
Speaker 7: for joining us. Next week we'll be continuing this discussion
Speaker 7: as any did mention earlier. We'll be talking to some
Speaker 7: younger people and I'd say that in the sense of,
Speaker 7: you know, we've noticed a lot of differences within our generations,
Speaker 7: so we'll hopefully have more discussions on how we can
Speaker 7: develop successful relationships. We'll be bringing some of these tips
Speaker 7: and actually sort of throwing it out there to sort
Speaker 7: of see whether this is something that they can get
Speaker 7: on board with or they would find useful. So but
Speaker 7: I thank you for joining us. I pray that you
Speaker 7: will enjoy the rest of your evening and we'll have
Speaker 7: a good start to your week. Do tune into Advantage
Speaker 7: Radio London and the rest of the weekend there's more
Speaker 7: live shows on. But I'm going to leave you today
Speaker 7: with Jonathan Buttt Reynolds loving me because that's indeed what
Speaker 7: God does.
Speaker 1: Thank you and good night. It's been talking point and
Speaker 1: thank you for joining us. Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for
Speaker 1: the song