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<v Speaker 1>Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome the Talking Point with Ray.

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<v Speaker 3>Sen You Angeler, discussing the hot topics and answering your.

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<v Speaker 2>Questions, Saturdays five to seven pm.

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<v Speaker 4>On Adventist Radio London.

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<v Speaker 5>It's talking Point.

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<v Speaker 6>It's talking Point.

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<v Speaker 2>It's talking Point, it's talking Point, real conversations. You need

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<v Speaker 2>to have.

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<v Speaker 7>Good evening, good evening, and welcome to Talking Point. It

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<v Speaker 7>is another Sabbath evening, February the fifteenth, and thank you for.

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<v Speaker 4>Joining recording in this progress evening.

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<v Speaker 7>I hope you've had a good day here, good Sabbath

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<v Speaker 7>wherever you've been and what have you whatever you've been

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<v Speaker 7>doing here in I'd love to say here in sunny Watford,

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<v Speaker 7>it is no longer sunny. We had quite a nice yesterday,

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<v Speaker 7>but it is maybe a typically February day, but it's

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<v Speaker 7>quite gray and it's been starting to rain as well.

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<v Speaker 7>But regardless of that, there is sunshine right here. And

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<v Speaker 7>I'm glad that you were able to join us to

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<v Speaker 7>join our discussion. Today. We will pray to start and

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<v Speaker 7>then we'll go into the next installment of our relationship series.

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<v Speaker 7>This whole month of February, we've been talking about relationships,

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<v Speaker 7>and we are We've been having some really interesting conversations

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<v Speaker 7>and this week we are kind of looking at the solutions.

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<v Speaker 7>How can you actually have a really good relationship, whether

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<v Speaker 7>that's a friendship, a working relationship, or romantic one or

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<v Speaker 7>a marriage one. So we've got a good panel of

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<v Speaker 7>guests on with us today, so we're going to be

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<v Speaker 7>discussing that. But let's pray to start and then we

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<v Speaker 7>can get going. Father God, I want to thank you

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<v Speaker 7>for blessing us with a wonderful Sabbath day, Dear Lord,

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<v Speaker 7>and I hope that wherever people have been that they

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<v Speaker 7>indeed had a blessing from what they received, what they heard,

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<v Speaker 7>what they took part in what they worship. Dear Lord,

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<v Speaker 7>I pray now that as we start our show talking point,

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<v Speaker 7>that you will bless it. You'll bless all our guess

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<v Speaker 7>who have come on to share their insights and their

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<v Speaker 7>expertise and their experiences. Dear Lord, and I pray that

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<v Speaker 7>those who are listening will gain a blessing, will learn something,

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<v Speaker 7>and it will be we'll have a good time in you,

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<v Speaker 7>dear Lord, and thank you for being such a wonderful

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<v Speaker 7>God and for blessing us and for loving us, dear Lord,

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<v Speaker 7>and I pray that your love will be an example

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<v Speaker 7>for us to follow, to share that with others, And

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<v Speaker 7>thank you for hearing and answering.

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<v Speaker 1>Amen.

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<v Speaker 7>Okay, So it is another week of February, another week

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<v Speaker 7>of love, and I guess if you are in the UK,

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<v Speaker 7>I'm not sure about it around the world. Actually, yesterday

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<v Speaker 7>was Valentine's Day, so traditionally loveday, and I recognize that,

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<v Speaker 7>you know, not necessarily into the whole commercialism of everything,

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<v Speaker 7>and ideally love should be something that you're celebrating year

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<v Speaker 7>round every day. But it was traditionally Valentine's Day, the

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<v Speaker 7>day of love, and that kind of ties in nicely

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<v Speaker 7>with our month of February month and love. And we've

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<v Speaker 7>been talking about relationships and we've kind of, I guess

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<v Speaker 7>tagged it in the sense of I'm sure people have

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<v Speaker 7>heard of this the men of from Mars, women of

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<v Speaker 7>and Venus kind of tagline. So we've been kind of

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<v Speaker 7>really highlighting the differences between men and women and how

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<v Speaker 7>they see relationships, how they do relationships, and I guess

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<v Speaker 7>when we come together, how that all works out. So

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<v Speaker 7>last week, if you joined us, you would have heard

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<v Speaker 7>our panel of ladies were on discussing all things relationships.

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<v Speaker 7>They're responding to some of the previous show that we

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<v Speaker 7>did back in November with a group of men who

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<v Speaker 7>were talking about sharing their insights into relationships, which is

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<v Speaker 7>quite interesting. So we did sort of pull on some

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<v Speaker 7>of those points as well. But this week we've got

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<v Speaker 7>a mixed so hopefully we'll get some more insights. But

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<v Speaker 7>what we really want to talk about to date is

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<v Speaker 7>some solutions. So that's what we want to talk about

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<v Speaker 7>todate how you can have successful relationships and how you

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<v Speaker 7>can have successful connections or you know, good relationships all around.

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<v Speaker 7>So if you want to join in with the conversation,

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<v Speaker 7>please do. We'd love to hear from you every week.

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<v Speaker 7>We always say this, and sometimes we hear from people,

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<v Speaker 7>sometimes we don't. But if you want to join in

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<v Speaker 7>the conversation, share your thoughts, share your opinions or your

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<v Speaker 7>own experiences, you can email us on studio at Adventage

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<v Speaker 7>Radio dot London, or you can send us a text

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<v Speaker 7>message at eight triple to eight write hope, leave a

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<v Speaker 7>space and then your message, or you can send us

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<v Speaker 7>a WhatsApp on zero seven four five nine six four

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<v Speaker 7>to eight nine eights, So do join in the conversation

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<v Speaker 7>and let us know your thoughts. So let's just check

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<v Speaker 7>in seat. It's myself off in studio by myself today,

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<v Speaker 7>but I do have my co hosts some with me today,

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<v Speaker 7>So let's go to pedro.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you doing.

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<v Speaker 5>Afternoon talking point? And thank everybody for joining us today.

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<v Speaker 1>So you had a good week.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh yeah, definitely had a good week, really fast week. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>nothing really, it's just you know, same old, same old

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<v Speaker 5>other dollar another die. I'm gonna do a different phrase today,

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<v Speaker 5>you know, just you know, no work and kids and

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<v Speaker 5>you know, just maintaining and you know, learning something every day.

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<v Speaker 5>I think we learned. I think in life, we learned

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<v Speaker 5>something every day that you probably didn't think you would learn,

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<v Speaker 5>even if you're like especially have teenagers. Yes, for me personally,

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<v Speaker 5>you know having teenagers. Just yeah, it's definitely something different

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<v Speaker 5>that I learned every day. So for me, just you know,

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<v Speaker 5>maintaining and just you know, thanking the Lord for airing

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<v Speaker 5>my lungs and for a healthy family.

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<v Speaker 1>Cool.

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<v Speaker 5>So yeah, especially this cold and everything going around.

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<v Speaker 7>Yes, yes, indeed, lesson about that. I felt a few

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<v Speaker 7>sniffles myself this week and I was like, oh, I

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<v Speaker 7>don't want a cold in this cold weather.

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<v Speaker 1>Again.

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<v Speaker 7>I've had enough time, so yeah, hopefully leave that one alone.

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<v Speaker 1>Cool said, yeah, how are you doing.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm well, good evening everyone, the panelist. We've got a

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<v Speaker 3>full house tonight this evening.

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<v Speaker 6>And also two hour listens. It's when good to have

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<v Speaker 6>you tuned in. My week was good.

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<v Speaker 3>Yesterday Valentine's Day, but also my mom's birthday yesterday. I've

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<v Speaker 3>got to do half half half about the mother's love

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<v Speaker 3>and then the other half about.

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<v Speaker 1>The other love love, birthday, mummy.

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<v Speaker 6>So grateful, God is so so good, so good.

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<v Speaker 5>Day yesterday.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh my goodness, I celebrak. I know you say that.

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<v Speaker 5>I know and forgot that you just said that that

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<v Speaker 5>was Valentine's Day.

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<v Speaker 6>That might be a point of discussion.

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<v Speaker 5>That's another discussion at another time. Yeah, but I don't.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't say limit any holidays, birthdays, Christmas, New Year's.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing interesting, I don't interesting.

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<v Speaker 7>Well, okay, so we've got a full house today, as

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<v Speaker 7>you said.

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<v Speaker 1>So how you how you?

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<v Speaker 6>I know, we do have to jump in at.

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<v Speaker 7>It was busy as always. Yeah, it's a bit up

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<v Speaker 7>and down, and if you're sitting in the background. That's

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<v Speaker 7>my mum in the studio with me today, so we

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<v Speaker 7>might have a musical accompaniment for that as well.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, my week's not been too bad.

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<v Speaker 7>But up and down. Yeah, gone very quickly. I wonder

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<v Speaker 7>whether I've achieved a great deal.

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<v Speaker 1>But here we are, here we are. So we've got a.

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<v Speaker 7>Full house today, She said to Danya, someone to quickly

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<v Speaker 7>go around and say hi to everybody, and then we

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<v Speaker 7>will make a start. I'll play a piece of music

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<v Speaker 7>and then we'll make a start. So if you were

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<v Speaker 7>with us last week, who was on last week with us?

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<v Speaker 7>Oh we had, I'm gonna start with Geraldine. So Geraldine,

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<v Speaker 7>do say hello and introduce yourself. That's all right, Hi,

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<v Speaker 7>how are you tell us a little bit about yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi, I'm Geraldine.

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<v Speaker 8>I'm a psychologist and I coach. I work on the

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<v Speaker 8>Better Help platform. I have an actors and I'm a

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<v Speaker 8>spiritual woman. Oh god, and.

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<v Speaker 7>Cool, cool, cool, Okay, thank you for joining us and

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<v Speaker 7>welcome back. And it was great to hear from you

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<v Speaker 7>last week. So I'm looking forward to your insights this

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<v Speaker 7>week as well and last week hopefully.

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<v Speaker 1>Shannon.

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<v Speaker 7>I know you're having some technical difficulties. Shannon are you

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<v Speaker 7>with us? Can we hear you?

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<v Speaker 6>Hi?

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<v Speaker 4>Are you able to hear me?

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<v Speaker 7>I am Yes, we're hearing your lad clear. So I

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<v Speaker 7>just introduce yourself. Tell us little bit about yourself as well.

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<v Speaker 4>My name is Shannon, Shannon Curtis.

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<v Speaker 9>I'm a writer of Finding You Mental Wellness Explored, and

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<v Speaker 9>this week has been.

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<v Speaker 6>Amazing in that I've written.

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<v Speaker 9>I've completed another two books and well accomplished.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, so yeah.

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<v Speaker 7>We'll have to get you. We'll have to get you

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<v Speaker 7>with another show when we're doing around after. We do

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<v Speaker 7>have a lot of authors on some coming in, so

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<v Speaker 7>definitely would be good to highlight your work there. But

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<v Speaker 7>thank you for joining us as well. And then I'm

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<v Speaker 7>going to go to one of our gentlemen. I'm going

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<v Speaker 7>to go to Hilton. So, Hilton, you've been on the

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<v Speaker 7>show before. Gonna say this time last year. Really wasn't

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<v Speaker 7>this time last year last year? So welcome back and

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<v Speaker 7>thank you for joining us this evening. Tell me a

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<v Speaker 7>little bit about yourself, tell our listeners who you are,

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<v Speaker 7>what you.

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<v Speaker 2>Do well, it's promptly is a pleasure to be on

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<v Speaker 2>the shore. Just confirm that you can hear me.

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<v Speaker 1>I can hear you.

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<v Speaker 4>Fuye.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, wonderful name me Sirtain Samuel, and I concidentize her

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<v Speaker 2>to be an apostle to families. I help people fix

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<v Speaker 2>the broken marriages and their hope singles, perhaps sign the

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<v Speaker 2>right person for them.

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<v Speaker 7>Cool, lovely, So again another of our experts, as it were,

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<v Speaker 7>looking forward to hearing your insights and then joining us.

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<v Speaker 7>We've got two newer guests. We have Sharday. So I'm

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<v Speaker 7>gonna say, Shady, if you want to come off mute

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<v Speaker 7>and introduce yourself. We met Shade a few weeks ago

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<v Speaker 7>Overreatchick'm so welcome.

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<v Speaker 1>Says a bit about yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you hire. My name is Shade. I'm a hairdresser.

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<v Speaker 10>I've been a headresson for about twenty six years now,

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<v Speaker 10>so my whole life really.

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<v Speaker 4>I am a mom.

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<v Speaker 10>Of two, well three really because my niece is like

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<v Speaker 10>my daughter. She lives with us, and yeah, been married

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<v Speaker 10>for two years. Been good actually, like it's quite surprising

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<v Speaker 10>that I didn't think it would be this easy. But

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<v Speaker 10>then it's only two years in so we'll see how

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<v Speaker 10>that goes. But I thank God, so far, so good,

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<v Speaker 10>and yeah, I'm happy to be here and maybe share

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<v Speaker 10>something inside with you guys, because in the salon, like

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<v Speaker 10>you know, I'm not like a lot of people have

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<v Speaker 10>trained thervice, I am be doing they even.

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<v Speaker 4>Though I'm qualified. Or in the salon we all talk.

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<v Speaker 10>It's a space where a woman can be comfortable and

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<v Speaker 10>we can like trust in each other, confide each other

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<v Speaker 10>and advise each other. So yeah, maybe some of that

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<v Speaker 10>I might be able to bring to the table tonight.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I bet you're saying.

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<v Speaker 7>Actually, when we're rich, is it in terms of you

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<v Speaker 7>must hear a lot people?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's like you said, it's a safe plenty.

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<v Speaker 7>It's a safe space and people feel comfortable, you know, talking,

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<v Speaker 7>you have conversations, So I'm sure you must hear quite

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<v Speaker 7>a lot. So yes, looking into insights there. And then

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<v Speaker 7>we also have another new guest done with us today.

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<v Speaker 7>Geraldine mentioned him earlier, but I'm going to welcome Garth

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<v Speaker 7>to our panel today. Hi Garth, you're trying to come up,

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<v Speaker 7>come off you and let us know introduce yourself.

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<v Speaker 11>I Hi, good afternoon, that's my pleasure. Happy sober all

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<v Speaker 11>and the rest especially, I'm from and Tobago. I'm a teacher,

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<v Speaker 11>I'm a counselor, I'm a head coach, I'm a friend,

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<v Speaker 11>I'm a fiance, a daddy, it's the corner man father, and.

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<v Speaker 12>I am you're one of.

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<v Speaker 11>Your presenters this evening, cool responsors, this evening.

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<v Speaker 7>Okay, lovely, and thank you for joining And you're joining

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<v Speaker 7>us from am.

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<v Speaker 11>I am I doing soon because I'm not seeing myself.

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<v Speaker 7>I can see you, but that's fine. I can see you,

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<v Speaker 7>but I understand you're actually you're in Trinidad at the moment,

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<v Speaker 7>So thank you for joining us a little earlier than us.

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<v Speaker 7>We're kind of coming to the end of the day

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<v Speaker 7>and I guess you're kind of midday ISHU as well there,

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<v Speaker 7>So so yeah, we've got a full house here today

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<v Speaker 7>and thank you all for joining us. And as I said,

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<v Speaker 7>we're going to be looking at solutions to making our

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<v Speaker 7>relationships and our connections work. We've I'm sure we've all

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<v Speaker 7>had various experiences over the years, some good, some maybe

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<v Speaker 7>not so good. But I'm sure there are some top tips,

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<v Speaker 7>some cree strategies, key things that will help us make

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<v Speaker 7>better connections and have good relationships. So that's what we

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<v Speaker 7>want to hear from moms today. We talked a lot

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<v Speaker 7>about there's quite a few things that came out of

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<v Speaker 7>both of the conversations with the men and the women

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<v Speaker 7>about how things can be done, the challenges that there are.

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<v Speaker 7>But what we want to do is leave our listeners

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<v Speaker 7>with some good information as to how we can have

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<v Speaker 7>successful relationships at whatever point we are. So I'm going

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<v Speaker 7>to start off with a piece of music. I'm going

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<v Speaker 7>to go with Kat Franklin's love theory, and then we're

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<v Speaker 7>going to hop into our questions and get into our discussion.

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<v Speaker 7>So Kat Franklin with love theory.

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<v Speaker 13>Brothers and sisters, I want to welcome you back to life,

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<v Speaker 13>back to the one. They can make your next chapter

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<v Speaker 13>your best chapter.

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<v Speaker 6>How a man?

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<v Speaker 4>How good you see.

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<v Speaker 2>Your life?

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<v Speaker 9>Was?

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<v Speaker 1>They legging?

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<v Speaker 14>Funny? Two big, great and some face it with you

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<v Speaker 14>a win? Even everything here I can pull like you

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<v Speaker 14>go away, Come on, he said, A day.

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<v Speaker 15>That's a pusson funny profile makes my fey like.

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<v Speaker 4>That's why nobody but you.

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<v Speaker 14>I don't wanna love nobody but you. I don't wanna

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<v Speaker 14>love nobody nobody for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's go Nick every one the massic grace of Julian you.

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<v Speaker 1>Cover me became me.

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<v Speaker 16>I appreciate it as it's amazing concutations with big I

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<v Speaker 16>will that you don't give up on me, help me healthy,

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<v Speaker 16>succe than you like you, com everything, my God.

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<v Speaker 13>Let me tell you when it goes, say and you will.

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<v Speaker 4>Hallelujah.

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<v Speaker 13>That's not fuss, not enough like this, And I promise.

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<v Speaker 4>You like you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why.

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<v Speaker 4>You Yes, I don't want to know about it, No.

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<v Speaker 1>Sir, storm over, No, that's right.

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<v Speaker 17>I don't want to.

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<v Speaker 18>Know nobody nobody and the church saying, come on, Jesus

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<v Speaker 18>loving you it sounds crazy, don't hey.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you what it means.

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<v Speaker 16>That's why I want to love no body.

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<v Speaker 14>But I don't want to love no.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to love nobody.

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<v Speaker 13>Nobody, but I really mean at this time.

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<v Speaker 14>Jesus, nobody.

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<v Speaker 13>Let me tell you when it goes.

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<v Speaker 3>Come on.

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<v Speaker 13>People, let you down, Mike. See, I will never final

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<v Speaker 13>I love like the.

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<v Speaker 19>Form of the day. Let me again, so cold the

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<v Speaker 19>rest of my life.

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<v Speaker 20>Thank you, everybody to love you.

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<v Speaker 13>You're a savior.

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<v Speaker 2>No, thank you.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't want to love no.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to love nobody, love nobody.

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<v Speaker 7>But you, Okay, Kat Franklin love theory. So we are

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<v Speaker 7>joined by a wonderful panel this evening we're going to

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<v Speaker 7>be talking about, As I said, this is our month

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<v Speaker 7>of relationships, and we've kind of been looking at, I suppose,

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<v Speaker 7>the differences between men and women in terms of how

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<v Speaker 7>they view relationships generally from friendships to maybe working relationships

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<v Speaker 7>and then moving into the kind of more romantic or

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<v Speaker 7>a little bit about dating and going hopefully to move

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<v Speaker 7>into marriage. But it's a challenge along the way. And

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<v Speaker 7>you know, each of the sessions that we've had have

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<v Speaker 7>kind of highlighted that. But today we really want to

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<v Speaker 7>talk about what we can do to have more successful relationships.

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<v Speaker 7>And I've kind of sort of thought, sort of thought

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<v Speaker 7>about this in terms of four different areas in terms

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<v Speaker 7>of things that we can do as individuals, because one

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<v Speaker 7>of the things that was coming out in some of

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<v Speaker 7>the conversations was, you know, women are like this or

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<v Speaker 7>men are like this. So really I kind of said, okay, well,

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<v Speaker 7>there are differences between men and women. We may approach

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<v Speaker 7>and we may have quite there were some general things

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<v Speaker 7>the points that were coming out, how men can be

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<v Speaker 7>sometimes less emotional, or they don't talk as much, et cetera.

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<v Speaker 7>And again that's a very wide genuinalization, whereas women could

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<v Speaker 7>be a lot more in tune with their emotions, they

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<v Speaker 7>talk a lot more, they communicate a different way. But

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<v Speaker 7>they were also on the flip side, big differences And

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<v Speaker 7>this maybe could be a generational thing as well in

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<v Speaker 7>terms of how we communicate with each other, how we

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<v Speaker 7>connect with each other, and the challenges and there may

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<v Speaker 7>be some differences that happen now that were very different

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<v Speaker 7>for years ago. So again I'm going to look at

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<v Speaker 7>some of those things there as well and think, Okay,

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<v Speaker 7>with all these changes and the way people do things,

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<v Speaker 7>can we be successful in our relationships and our connections?

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<v Speaker 7>So I guess as a starting point, how can we

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<v Speaker 7>as individuals? I suppose what can we contribute to our relationships?

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<v Speaker 7>So if I'm thinking, okay, if I'm not in a

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<v Speaker 7>I'm not talking about my management, If I want to

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<v Speaker 7>kind of meet somebody and I want to make a connection,

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<v Speaker 7>what can I do that puts my best foot forward

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<v Speaker 7>to have a success. Yes, for connection relationship, you know,

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<v Speaker 7>a relation relationship, being relational with somebody else? What can

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<v Speaker 7>I do for myself? And is it very different for

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<v Speaker 7>me as a woman as it would be for a

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<v Speaker 7>man in terms of what I would do? Have it

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<v Speaker 7>come across because I know again I remember last week

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<v Speaker 7>men need to step up, and I think previously it's

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<v Speaker 7>women need to be more feminine and need to be

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<v Speaker 7>a bit more approachable. So I'm going to throw that

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<v Speaker 7>out there as a first question to start off. Anybody,

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<v Speaker 7>any of your thoughts on that one.

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<v Speaker 20>I don't know what.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll jump in well, so everyone else cass their thoughts.

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<v Speaker 6>The the the.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, Hilton, you you said it nicely before in

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<v Speaker 3>November when you were on, and I thought that was

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<v Speaker 3>such a good point to make, and of course it

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<v Speaker 3>was disputed or not disputed, but discussed the fact that

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<v Speaker 3>our women communicate, our men communicate functionally. Or if I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not muship from saying it right, you'll have to correct

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<v Speaker 3>me or a mend what I've said. But you're saying

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<v Speaker 3>that our men tend to communicate just for specific purposes.

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<v Speaker 6>There is a need, there is an.

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<v Speaker 3>Issue that needs to be addressed, and they go in

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<v Speaker 3>and they talk about it very briefly, and the job

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<v Speaker 3>is done and they move on. Whereas our women, we

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<v Speaker 3>will multitask. We will talk about X, Y and Z,

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<v Speaker 3>the point we called about, the point about yesterday. We'll

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<v Speaker 3>maybe go around the bush epic is what Pedro said

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<v Speaker 3>before we actually get to the issue, and you describe

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<v Speaker 3>that as one of the fundamental differences in how we communicate,

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<v Speaker 3>and perhaps that photos or bubbles up to how our

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<v Speaker 3>relationships are different men from women.

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<v Speaker 6>So I'd probably just ask you to just elaborate.

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<v Speaker 3>On that a little bit more and then maybe tell

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<v Speaker 3>us how that feeds into the question that's been posed. Now,

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<v Speaker 3>how can we as men and women maybe adjust our

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<v Speaker 3>styles if if everyone's concluding that that is how it

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<v Speaker 3>is for most, how can we adjust out our styles

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<v Speaker 3>to make ourselves more.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know what the word is going today.

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<v Speaker 3>Attract There you're going through attractive to the other to

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<v Speaker 3>the other sex.

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<v Speaker 6>So let me let you start that off from memory.

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<v Speaker 6>Can you can take it from them?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, thank you for that. I can't exactly remember that

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<v Speaker 2>the context and the things that actually said, but as

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<v Speaker 2>you were speaking, something came to my mind in terms

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<v Speaker 2>of tweaking that many people some people connect to talk

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<v Speaker 2>and some people talk to connect.

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<v Speaker 6>That's exactly what you said. Oh that's what I said. Okay, yes,

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<v Speaker 6>and and.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel that generally speaking, again, these are generalization. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>we've taken them with a pinch of salt that lots

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<v Speaker 2>lots of women tend to talk to connect and as

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<v Speaker 2>they speak, they you know, things get clearer in their minds.

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<v Speaker 2>They process things in that in that kind of way,

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<v Speaker 2>whereas no, no, actually is the other way around. Now

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<v Speaker 2>I'm confused, right, well, let me just let me process

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<v Speaker 2>this because I actually want to go off on a

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<v Speaker 2>slightly different tangent with regards to the whole aspect of

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<v Speaker 2>navigating the world of dating and attracting and all that

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<v Speaker 2>sort of thing. And uh, and I think that there

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<v Speaker 2>are two fundamental things that researchers found the evidence that

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<v Speaker 2>human beings. So they are general things that human beings

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<v Speaker 2>looking look for. There are gender specific things that people

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<v Speaker 2>look for. And then there are personal things that people

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<v Speaker 2>look for. So which one do you want me to

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<v Speaker 2>start with? First? The general, gender specific or you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and then there are personal things and probably.

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<v Speaker 6>A good place to start again, a good place.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, general. In order to have a very powerful, what

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<v Speaker 2>I call rock solid, high performing divorced relationship, there are

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<v Speaker 2>two characteristic top qualities that we have found is really

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<v Speaker 2>essential both in men and women, and these are compassion

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<v Speaker 2>and kindness. Compassion and kindness or niceness that if you

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<v Speaker 2>have these qualities, you make a very very powerful and

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<v Speaker 2>your relationship will go a long way. And I'll just

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<v Speaker 2>expound on what we think those two qualities are. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>many people hear these terms and probably know them, but

429
00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:24.480
<v Speaker 2>I want to just specifically explain what we consider to

430
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:29.160
<v Speaker 2>be compassion and what we consider to be kindness compassion,

431
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.400
<v Speaker 2>and I think many people know this is the ability

432
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:36.359
<v Speaker 2>to empathize and sympathize. But however, there is an other

433
00:26:36.599 --> 00:26:42.000
<v Speaker 2>element and dimension that people don't really think about when

434
00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:49.519
<v Speaker 2>they think about compassion. Compassion is to understand, to empathize,

435
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:54.559
<v Speaker 2>to probably put yourself in another person's shoes. But beyond

436
00:26:54.680 --> 00:27:01.319
<v Speaker 2>that is to is the desire to help the other person,

437
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:05.519
<v Speaker 2>particularly when they're going through a bad patch, when they're

438
00:27:05.880 --> 00:27:09.440
<v Speaker 2>when they're down and out, when they are going through grief,

439
00:27:09.599 --> 00:27:13.720
<v Speaker 2>or when they're going through when when you're compassionate, you

440
00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:17.480
<v Speaker 2>have a desire to help, a desire to make it

441
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:20.279
<v Speaker 2>better if you can, a desire if you if you

442
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:23.160
<v Speaker 2>think a very good example I've heard this guy use,

443
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:26.200
<v Speaker 2>if you if you're walking in the forest, or if

444
00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:28.759
<v Speaker 2>you meet a car accident and you see a little

445
00:27:28.839 --> 00:27:33.559
<v Speaker 2>child inside the car, crying. Most of us, the vast

446
00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:36.759
<v Speaker 2>majority of us, would want to help, you know, we

447
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:41.319
<v Speaker 2>want to comfort that child. We want to, you know,

448
00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:47.480
<v Speaker 2>bring some kind of solace. So that's compassion come Kindness

449
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:52.079
<v Speaker 2>is the flip side of that. Kindness is actually desiring

450
00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:57.240
<v Speaker 2>the happiness of someone and wanting to Again, there's a

451
00:27:57.359 --> 00:28:02.400
<v Speaker 2>desire wanting to facilitate that, to help that, and to

452
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:07.039
<v Speaker 2>augment that. So if you have these two qualities, you

453
00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:12.599
<v Speaker 2>become a very attractive person, very young, skin deep. I

454
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:14.920
<v Speaker 2>know some of you are here, you look the part

455
00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:18.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, wonderful and beautiful, and then you know, but

456
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:21.440
<v Speaker 2>all of us know that beauty skin deep. But when

457
00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:25.680
<v Speaker 2>people get to know you and understand that you have

458
00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:30.359
<v Speaker 2>these qualities, people would be drawn to you. I don't

459
00:28:30.359 --> 00:28:32.519
<v Speaker 2>know if I should just pause and let other people

460
00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:36.079
<v Speaker 2>just chime in here rather than dominate the conversation.

461
00:28:37.319 --> 00:28:40.000
<v Speaker 7>Okay, well that's a really interesting point. So I guess

462
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:43.799
<v Speaker 7>based on my question, so if I can demonstrate compassion

463
00:28:44.599 --> 00:28:46.400
<v Speaker 7>and kindness.

464
00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:47.599
<v Speaker 1>I could be off to a really good start.

465
00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and the Bible is quite clear on that. If

466
00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:54.480
<v Speaker 2>we from a biblio centric point of view, when Paul

467
00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:59.240
<v Speaker 2>speaks about I think it's in effhesions for be kind

468
00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:04.640
<v Speaker 2>one to another, tender hearted, you know, tend the heartedness

469
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:09.680
<v Speaker 2>is compassionate, being compassionate kindness. He mentions that there, and

470
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:12.440
<v Speaker 2>then he goes on to say being able to forgive

471
00:29:12.519 --> 00:29:16.160
<v Speaker 2>him as God for christ sake has forgiveness. So I

472
00:29:16.200 --> 00:29:20.359
<v Speaker 2>just wanted to slip in that that that aspect the biblical,

473
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:22.960
<v Speaker 2>the biblical centric perspective on that.

474
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:28.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, thank you for that. Any other thoughts I have.

475
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:32.960
<v Speaker 4>And then okay, go ahead, Okay, that's really great.

476
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:36.640
<v Speaker 10>I was just thinking sometimes based on the conversations I

477
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:38.680
<v Speaker 10>have with a lot of women in the salon, and

478
00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:41.759
<v Speaker 10>what comes to across a lot is that we don't

479
00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:44.480
<v Speaker 10>necessarily a lot of time understand the roles. And because

480
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:46.960
<v Speaker 10>it's like a barber shop and heterosone shop, when we

481
00:29:46.960 --> 00:29:50.039
<v Speaker 10>do start talking, the men chiming the woman, it goes

482
00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:51.839
<v Speaker 10>into like a big thing, you know.

483
00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:53.799
<v Speaker 4>But what because.

484
00:29:53.599 --> 00:29:58.960
<v Speaker 10>I'm I'm my thirties, what I realized with women my age,

485
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:00.880
<v Speaker 10>talking to my friends and talking to a lot of

486
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:03.559
<v Speaker 10>younger girls and stuff, no one really understand their roles.

487
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:06.440
<v Speaker 10>And I think what you can bring to any healthy

488
00:30:06.519 --> 00:30:09.160
<v Speaker 10>relationship is understanding the role that you are going to

489
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:12.920
<v Speaker 10>play what you should play according to God's standards, And

490
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:15.200
<v Speaker 10>I think that's something that I had to learn as well.

491
00:30:15.720 --> 00:30:17.200
<v Speaker 4>Like being married, I had to.

492
00:30:17.240 --> 00:30:20.319
<v Speaker 10>Understand my role, but also as a single person. If

493
00:30:20.359 --> 00:30:23.400
<v Speaker 10>you don't understand your role, what you're meant to be

494
00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:25.960
<v Speaker 10>playing when you do get into a relationship, then you

495
00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:28.559
<v Speaker 10>don't necessarily know what you're looking for when you are

496
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:33.400
<v Speaker 10>looking for a partner. I feel like when I was younger,

497
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:37.039
<v Speaker 10>I mean I didn't really understand why I was thought like,

498
00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:40.240
<v Speaker 10>you know, just being able to cook and clean and

499
00:30:40.319 --> 00:30:43.279
<v Speaker 10>being able to smile and do prey and whatever was enough.

500
00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:47.119
<v Speaker 10>But then I didn't really understand what characteristics I needed

501
00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:50.519
<v Speaker 10>to embody and how I need to be in a

502
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:53.039
<v Speaker 10>biblical sense to be able to attract the type of

503
00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:55.799
<v Speaker 10>partner that I wanted to attract because I didn't know

504
00:30:55.880 --> 00:30:56.279
<v Speaker 10>my role.

505
00:30:56.359 --> 00:30:58.160
<v Speaker 4>So I think understanding your role.

506
00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:00.079
<v Speaker 10>As a mal what you're meant to be playing, and

507
00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:03.200
<v Speaker 10>then understand your role as a female, like working on yourself,

508
00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:06.079
<v Speaker 10>working on what you're meant to be, who you meant,

509
00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:09.319
<v Speaker 10>how you're meant to interact with each other, understanding your

510
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:11.559
<v Speaker 10>flaws and then working on that and then maybe then

511
00:31:12.519 --> 00:31:15.440
<v Speaker 10>when you're looking for someone, you're looking for someone when

512
00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:18.440
<v Speaker 10>you're sorry, when you're yeah, when you're looking for that

513
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:19.839
<v Speaker 10>healthy relationship.

514
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:21.359
<v Speaker 4>Because you know who you are.

515
00:31:21.240 --> 00:31:22.680
<v Speaker 10>What you're supposed to be, and what you're meant to

516
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:25.319
<v Speaker 10>be embodied in your role, then it's easier.

517
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:28.440
<v Speaker 4>For you to attach the healthy relationship. Okay, I think

518
00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:31.119
<v Speaker 4>I'm trying to say very cool, cool.

519
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:38.519
<v Speaker 9>On the top, live, Yes, indeed, roles, respecting for each

520
00:31:38.519 --> 00:31:44.200
<v Speaker 9>other's role, but also applying love. Love for every person

521
00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:47.680
<v Speaker 9>might be different. Are you guys hearing me?

522
00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:50.119
<v Speaker 1>Yea yep, yep, yep.

523
00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:55.480
<v Speaker 9>Love can mean very differently for each person. So it's

524
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:59.799
<v Speaker 9>establishing what love looks like for you, what love is

525
00:31:59.799 --> 00:32:03.680
<v Speaker 9>by for me, so that you can portray the right.

526
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.480
<v Speaker 6>Play, the right action is meaningful to the other.

527
00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:18.519
<v Speaker 9>Showing admiration deep, being a actions deep, you know, and.

528
00:32:18.519 --> 00:32:19.599
<v Speaker 6>It doesn't mean like.

529
00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:22.160
<v Speaker 1>Married.

530
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:24.279
<v Speaker 6>To show like the admiration, you.

531
00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:27.319
<v Speaker 9>Need to start from before from you decide that this

532
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:30.200
<v Speaker 9>is a person that you select. You need to, you know,

533
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:34.279
<v Speaker 9>show that you're really passionate about the person. Just to

534
00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:40.440
<v Speaker 9>bring it into the biblical terms, the Bible says to

535
00:32:40.519 --> 00:32:48.559
<v Speaker 9>leave and cleave and christ like that for the church,

536
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.359
<v Speaker 9>like here, like the women are supposed to be like

537
00:32:52.440 --> 00:32:59.519
<v Speaker 9>the church symbolizing, and the husband needs to be that

538
00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:03.599
<v Speaker 9>care for the woman, to protect her, to be the

539
00:33:03.640 --> 00:33:08.960
<v Speaker 9>provider and leading from the front, and the roles are

540
00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:11.559
<v Speaker 9>there for those purposes. But if you don't have that

541
00:33:11.720 --> 00:33:15.000
<v Speaker 9>role displaying, then of course you're going to be confused.

542
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:18.400
<v Speaker 9>So it's important to have that clarity what you what

543
00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:22.400
<v Speaker 9>you're meant to do, or what what that display should

544
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:25.920
<v Speaker 9>look like so that you don't get that confused, because

545
00:33:25.960 --> 00:33:30.079
<v Speaker 9>then your behavior is gonna be very different or a

546
00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:35.359
<v Speaker 9>waiver if you're not sure. And of course have their

547
00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:38.720
<v Speaker 9>roles to so I'm not gonna like explain what that is.

548
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:43.160
<v Speaker 9>But I think as young women, the older ones, especially

549
00:33:43.240 --> 00:33:46.960
<v Speaker 9>those who in church who already have like some knowledge,

550
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:51.440
<v Speaker 9>they can start to pass off those knowledge. So we

551
00:33:51.720 --> 00:33:56.119
<v Speaker 9>could have like maybe once a month or twice a year, I.

552
00:33:56.039 --> 00:34:04.200
<v Speaker 6>Don't know, I don't know, bire environment where we can pass.

553
00:34:03.880 --> 00:34:09.199
<v Speaker 9>On those directions so that people are clear from people

554
00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:10.599
<v Speaker 9>who have already done it.

555
00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:13.840
<v Speaker 4>And are are successful in their relationship.

556
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:17.800
<v Speaker 7>Okay, okay, so that's really a practical thing. Because I

557
00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:20.960
<v Speaker 7>was as you were talking, I was thinking, okay, so.

558
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:22.760
<v Speaker 1>How would I find out my role.

559
00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:24.840
<v Speaker 7>How would I know this? You know, what would be?

560
00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:27.199
<v Speaker 7>Where would I get the information from? So that's kind

561
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:31.840
<v Speaker 7>of a good suggestion there as well, Geraldine or Garth,

562
00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:38.679
<v Speaker 7>any thoughts on I guess from a therapeutic perspective, maybe

563
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:44.519
<v Speaker 7>any thoughts on that as individuals? How can I be

564
00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:49.000
<v Speaker 7>off to a really good Startine's area?

565
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:54.920
<v Speaker 8>So let's go ahead, we go, we bouncing between one another.

566
00:34:54.719 --> 00:35:04.039
<v Speaker 4>Again again, go ahead, go ahead, right, So I'm just

567
00:35:04.079 --> 00:35:06.199
<v Speaker 4>going to bounce off from the back of Hilton.

568
00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:09.960
<v Speaker 8>Actually, and I think he is really correct in the

569
00:35:10.039 --> 00:35:15.320
<v Speaker 8>sense of kindness and compassion, because Paul tells us let

570
00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:19.199
<v Speaker 8>each esteem each other better than themselves is an act

571
00:35:19.239 --> 00:35:23.760
<v Speaker 8>of kindness and compassion. And if we look at Galatians,

572
00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:26.039
<v Speaker 8>we look at the fruit of the Spirit, and it

573
00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:30.559
<v Speaker 8>details nine essential areas for one to actually know and

574
00:35:30.679 --> 00:35:33.039
<v Speaker 8>learn from themselves. But I want to touch on two

575
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:38.719
<v Speaker 8>points in addition, emotional resilience. It's very important to understand

576
00:35:38.920 --> 00:35:43.480
<v Speaker 8>how you can cope and recover from stressful situations.

577
00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:45.760
<v Speaker 4>That's very applicable to.

578
00:35:45.800 --> 00:35:49.119
<v Speaker 8>Bring into a healthy relationship because you really don't want

579
00:35:49.159 --> 00:35:54.719
<v Speaker 8>somebody in that relationship who is probably buckling under every

580
00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:58.519
<v Speaker 8>stressful situation of life, and hence the reason why I

581
00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:03.440
<v Speaker 8>believe in itself that when we depend on Christ, Christ, who.

582
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:05.719
<v Speaker 4>Is our rock, is our short foundation.

583
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:08.320
<v Speaker 8>With supposed to be able to build a kind of

584
00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:14.960
<v Speaker 8>stability upon Christ's work and stability within the relationship.

585
00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:16.679
<v Speaker 4>So emotional reason elements.

586
00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:19.760
<v Speaker 8>Get in touch with your feelings, understanding who you are

587
00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:24.320
<v Speaker 8>as an individual even before you enter into a relationship,

588
00:36:24.360 --> 00:36:26.880
<v Speaker 8>so that you know, I'm not saying it's book by

589
00:36:26.880 --> 00:36:31.719
<v Speaker 8>the book, because each relationship is different. You know essentially

590
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:35.440
<v Speaker 8>as yourself that there are certain things that you can

591
00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:39.000
<v Speaker 8>cope with. You talk about it and you understand each

592
00:36:39.079 --> 00:36:43.760
<v Speaker 8>other listening to how each other quotes within this situation

593
00:36:44.199 --> 00:36:46.920
<v Speaker 8>and what you can bring into that relationship.

594
00:36:47.159 --> 00:36:49.519
<v Speaker 4>The other thing I want to quickly touch on is temperament.

595
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:52.800
<v Speaker 8>So just the White talks about temperament in mind, personality

596
00:36:53.199 --> 00:36:57.400
<v Speaker 8>and character. I think it's really important for you to

597
00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:00.159
<v Speaker 8>be able to understand the different types of temperaments. We

598
00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:04.679
<v Speaker 8>have four garth and I listen to a sermon this morning,

599
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:07.800
<v Speaker 8>and I think it just re emphasized for me in

600
00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:12.400
<v Speaker 8>my mind. Whilst counseling couples and looking at people who

601
00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:17.119
<v Speaker 8>are struggling in relationships. I recognize that their temperaments, they

602
00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:20.559
<v Speaker 8>don't really know them, and so they're not understanding how

603
00:37:20.599 --> 00:37:25.360
<v Speaker 8>each other is able to esteem each other better than themselves.

604
00:37:26.119 --> 00:37:28.039
<v Speaker 4>All right, That's where I'm going to stop from minute.

605
00:37:28.039 --> 00:37:33.119
<v Speaker 1>Okay, cool girls, did you have a thought there?

606
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:36.920
<v Speaker 12>Yes, I I normally always do have a thought.

607
00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:45.360
<v Speaker 11>How can we as individuals contribute to healthy to healthy relationships?

608
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:49.000
<v Speaker 12>And of course, from a teacher's point of.

609
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:53.239
<v Speaker 11>View, we are in charge of students and we will

610
00:37:53.320 --> 00:38:01.840
<v Speaker 11>influence them directly or indirectly to developing maintaining healthy relationships.

611
00:38:01.880 --> 00:38:04.719
<v Speaker 11>And most times we like to make sure we don't

612
00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:09.679
<v Speaker 11>take certain terms for granted in terms of healthy. What

613
00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:12.800
<v Speaker 11>do we call healthy in terms of relationships? What do

614
00:38:12.840 --> 00:38:16.119
<v Speaker 11>we mean when we see relationships? One I think is

615
00:38:16.119 --> 00:38:23.480
<v Speaker 11>Shannon said, love is something different in different cultures, in

616
00:38:23.559 --> 00:38:28.119
<v Speaker 11>different communities, in different countries. What I might think is

617
00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:31.440
<v Speaker 11>a love, she may not think is love. I might

618
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:34.239
<v Speaker 11>think she is abusive, and she may think, no, it

619
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:37.639
<v Speaker 11>may not be so. Sometimes, especially when we're online, we

620
00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:44.000
<v Speaker 11>need to establish certain words or phrases and make sure

621
00:38:44.039 --> 00:38:48.400
<v Speaker 11>it's applied and it's applicable to the community, so that

622
00:38:50.119 --> 00:38:52.920
<v Speaker 11>when we look at how can I or how can

623
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:59.639
<v Speaker 11>we as individuals contribute to a healthy relationship? Shout why

624
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:04.679
<v Speaker 11>as we walk the road, we don't take things for granted?

625
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:07.320
<v Speaker 11>You know they are I mean she is correct because

626
00:39:07.599 --> 00:39:12.480
<v Speaker 11>I've been to the UK and I've gotten called your shock, thinking, well, okay,

627
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:17.480
<v Speaker 11>I'm seeing people coming towards me, so the natural behaviors

628
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:24.079
<v Speaker 11>raise a hand, high, smile, good morning, good afternoon, and

629
00:39:24.199 --> 00:39:27.840
<v Speaker 11>it's like they didn't even see you.

630
00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:29.719
<v Speaker 4>You know, yes, so that.

631
00:39:31.400 --> 00:39:35.159
<v Speaker 11>It's correct. But I want to I liked how it

632
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:40.519
<v Speaker 11>started off. Hilton started off and then we came down.

633
00:39:41.159 --> 00:39:45.760
<v Speaker 11>So that I want to add each individual vidual is

634
00:39:45.800 --> 00:39:51.639
<v Speaker 11>responsible for their developments, right, for their improvements.

635
00:39:52.199 --> 00:39:55.280
<v Speaker 12>And so the first thing.

636
00:39:55.159 --> 00:39:58.440
<v Speaker 11>I would think is one should be at a point

637
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:02.039
<v Speaker 11>mature enough mat you should not have taken place where

638
00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:05.320
<v Speaker 11>they would have acknowledge that they are at a point

639
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:12.960
<v Speaker 11>where they could start making friends and developing better friendship.

640
00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:18.199
<v Speaker 11>And if their hormones is on that side, then they

641
00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:25.000
<v Speaker 11>must be aware that they are rules to follow in developing.

642
00:40:26.039 --> 00:40:29.719
<v Speaker 11>There is one or two texts I use a lot to.

643
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:31.880
<v Speaker 12>Guide me, to guide us.

644
00:40:32.199 --> 00:40:35.880
<v Speaker 11>Our faith faith comets well, we are saved by grace

645
00:40:35.960 --> 00:40:39.920
<v Speaker 11>through faith, right we are saved by grace God's love

646
00:40:40.559 --> 00:40:41.199
<v Speaker 11>through faith.

647
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:43.679
<v Speaker 2>But what is faith to me?

648
00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:49.119
<v Speaker 11>Faith is not just belief. Faith comes by hearing and

649
00:40:49.199 --> 00:40:53.000
<v Speaker 11>hearing by the word. So if faith is such an

650
00:40:53.079 --> 00:41:00.199
<v Speaker 11>important thing for happiness, for being safe and saved, and

651
00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:06.280
<v Speaker 11>faith is associated with knowledge, faith is associated with reading,

652
00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:13.280
<v Speaker 11>with hearing, with discussing, faith is probably what we are doing,

653
00:41:14.079 --> 00:41:16.440
<v Speaker 11>all right, because it's a doing. They say, faith without

654
00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:20.639
<v Speaker 11>works is dead, So that what we are doing here

655
00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:25.440
<v Speaker 11>is faith. We are building faith, so that the individual

656
00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:30.039
<v Speaker 11>would need to build faith build themselves, I think it

657
00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:35.719
<v Speaker 11>was said before, but acknowledging recognizing where they are at

658
00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:37.519
<v Speaker 11>because they would.

659
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:40.000
<v Speaker 12>Have been trained by a parent, by.

660
00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:44.880
<v Speaker 11>A teacher, by some adults, and in terms of their

661
00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:48.760
<v Speaker 11>culty again because every society may have a little difference

662
00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:52.239
<v Speaker 11>in training, all right, but to them it would be

663
00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:57.519
<v Speaker 11>their norm, their normal behavior in developing one's self. So

664
00:41:57.599 --> 00:42:03.519
<v Speaker 11>one have to be ready because association, you know, is

665
00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:08.880
<v Speaker 11>two coming together. And sometimes I think, yesterday, I'm I'm

666
00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:12.679
<v Speaker 11>ahead of the department as well. And we start with

667
00:42:12.719 --> 00:42:20.039
<v Speaker 11>the principal yesterday talking after school, and I said, let

668
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:22.199
<v Speaker 11>me bring in in my mind, let me bring in

669
00:42:22.199 --> 00:42:24.400
<v Speaker 11>a point here one time while we are you know,

670
00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:27.599
<v Speaker 11>four of us talking. So I said here I did

671
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:32.599
<v Speaker 11>talk about this need the fire room to do you

672
00:42:32.639 --> 00:42:37.599
<v Speaker 11>know a particular subject, and the principle said, anyway, let

673
00:42:37.639 --> 00:42:37.840
<v Speaker 11>me go.

674
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:39.679
<v Speaker 2>I have work to do. You know.

675
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:44.639
<v Speaker 12>So it's important to know where you are, how you are,

676
00:42:45.199 --> 00:42:47.519
<v Speaker 12>wet words, so.

677
00:42:47.440 --> 00:42:51.199
<v Speaker 11>That you don't speak out of context. You could speak

678
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:54.280
<v Speaker 11>if I'm speaking Spanish. I don't expect somebody to come

679
00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:59.079
<v Speaker 11>and speak German or e English to develop a relationship.

680
00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:02.559
<v Speaker 12>We made relating, but it's what type would it be?

681
00:43:02.599 --> 00:43:03.199
<v Speaker 2>Healthy?

682
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:08.000
<v Speaker 11>No, so knowing self, as I said, knowing the rules

683
00:43:08.159 --> 00:43:08.760
<v Speaker 11>to follow.

684
00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:14.320
<v Speaker 12>We have books Bible Ellen White, you know, because the

685
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:16.800
<v Speaker 12>word is not jazzy bye. But the word is also

686
00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:18.679
<v Speaker 12>what we call the.

687
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:22.239
<v Speaker 11>You know, the.

688
00:43:24.599 --> 00:43:26.639
<v Speaker 12>Those books that support the Bibles.

689
00:43:26.840 --> 00:43:28.599
<v Speaker 11>You know a man.

690
00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:31.960
<v Speaker 7>Okay, thank you for that, Sena, so your hand before

691
00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:34.039
<v Speaker 7>had you any thoughts on this?

692
00:43:35.519 --> 00:43:37.639
<v Speaker 6>Or help him as wealth, I'll help him go. And

693
00:43:37.639 --> 00:43:39.519
<v Speaker 6>then it was just a question, a follow up question.

694
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:42.719
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so so you had a point to what's already

695
00:43:42.719 --> 00:43:43.599
<v Speaker 3>been discuss.

696
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:49.159
<v Speaker 2>Per okay, okay, sorry.

697
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:51.280
<v Speaker 6>Your hands absolutely?

698
00:43:51.400 --> 00:43:54.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I wanted to muscle in here and suggests

699
00:43:56.119 --> 00:43:59.639
<v Speaker 2>this guy Alan Alaine, the button who is an English

700
00:43:59.639 --> 00:44:02.519
<v Speaker 2>flast of helm Uh. He's reading the book on a

701
00:44:02.559 --> 00:44:06.760
<v Speaker 2>Relationship and he makes a very powerful statement. He says

702
00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:09.360
<v Speaker 2>that our error is to suppose that we were born

703
00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:13.280
<v Speaker 2>knowing how to love, and that managing a relationship might

704
00:44:13.320 --> 00:44:16.480
<v Speaker 2>therefore be kind of intuitive and easy. But then he

705
00:44:16.559 --> 00:44:18.360
<v Speaker 2>goes on to say, and this is brilliant, and I

706
00:44:18.440 --> 00:44:20.480
<v Speaker 2>call this a lot of time, that love is a

707
00:44:20.599 --> 00:44:23.320
<v Speaker 2>skilled to be learned rather than just an emotion to

708
00:44:23.360 --> 00:44:26.079
<v Speaker 2>be felt. I repeat that love is are skilled to

709
00:44:26.119 --> 00:44:29.159
<v Speaker 2>be learned rather than an emotion to be felt. And

710
00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:32.440
<v Speaker 2>I think that we are based, particularly in the West,

711
00:44:33.719 --> 00:44:39.159
<v Speaker 2>in this romantic concept of love and relationship. And what

712
00:44:39.239 --> 00:44:43.119
<v Speaker 2>is even more frightening is that And I think, Shaddy,

713
00:44:43.239 --> 00:44:49.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, yes your name Shaddy alluded to many

714
00:44:49.559 --> 00:44:52.760
<v Speaker 2>of the conversations that she's been hearing in her in

715
00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:57.559
<v Speaker 2>her workplace. I think that many people, unbeknownst to them,

716
00:44:57.679 --> 00:45:02.599
<v Speaker 2>come into relationship with a certain template, and the template

717
00:45:02.639 --> 00:45:08.039
<v Speaker 2>that they come into the relationship with, they're totally oblivious

718
00:45:08.679 --> 00:45:13.559
<v Speaker 2>of that what the template is, and many times that

719
00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:18.880
<v Speaker 2>template isn't triggered until they are prom dead center in

720
00:45:18.960 --> 00:45:23.440
<v Speaker 2>the relationship. And relating that all kinds of things come up,

721
00:45:24.159 --> 00:45:28.079
<v Speaker 2>and I think one of the best things that we

722
00:45:28.119 --> 00:45:32.400
<v Speaker 2>can do for ourselves and for anyone that we are

723
00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:38.360
<v Speaker 2>engaging with regards to relationship is to try to tease out,

724
00:45:39.599 --> 00:45:45.800
<v Speaker 2>become aware of what is that person's template and what

725
00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:48.719
<v Speaker 2>is your template? Because if you find out what your

726
00:45:48.760 --> 00:45:51.559
<v Speaker 2>template is, and many times, like I said, it's not

727
00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:55.519
<v Speaker 2>very easy, you think you know it, but God forbid.

728
00:45:55.639 --> 00:45:59.280
<v Speaker 2>When you eat and you begin to relate, and you

729
00:45:59.320 --> 00:46:02.800
<v Speaker 2>begin to engage and you begin to interact, you get

730
00:46:02.840 --> 00:46:06.480
<v Speaker 2>triggered in ways that you thought you probably would think,

731
00:46:06.840 --> 00:46:12.119
<v Speaker 2>whoa is that me? So if we begin to tease out,

732
00:46:13.079 --> 00:46:19.400
<v Speaker 2>expand on explore what are the core skills that we

733
00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:25.280
<v Speaker 2>need to learn in order for us to have a healthy,

734
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:32.280
<v Speaker 2>high performing, efficient relationship, then I think we would go

735
00:46:32.320 --> 00:46:36.400
<v Speaker 2>a long way and having good relations And just to

736
00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:41.000
<v Speaker 2>say that before I go, I also think that we

737
00:46:41.079 --> 00:46:45.239
<v Speaker 2>need to recognize what the function of relationship and marriages

738
00:46:46.159 --> 00:46:50.519
<v Speaker 2>because you, like some people are saying, speak about roles.

739
00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:55.400
<v Speaker 2>These people spoke about maybe different aspects, and I think

740
00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:59.320
<v Speaker 2>it comes down to what is the function, what is

741
00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:03.719
<v Speaker 2>the what is the purpose of a marriage or a relationship?

742
00:47:04.079 --> 00:47:06.280
<v Speaker 2>And when we get clear on that and you will

743
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:08.480
<v Speaker 2>find out that you know, it's not like the world

744
00:47:09.159 --> 00:47:12.079
<v Speaker 2>has it, and it's not like many of us think

745
00:47:12.119 --> 00:47:17.920
<v Speaker 2>it is. I would they say and correct me if

746
00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:21.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm wrong, And I think Geraldine might be able to

747
00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:27.480
<v Speaker 2>support me on this. Here, Geraldine that the function of

748
00:47:27.519 --> 00:47:31.360
<v Speaker 2>a relationship or a marriage. Let me just put it

749
00:47:31.400 --> 00:47:35.320
<v Speaker 2>another way. My thing is that marriage is a oh

750
00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:39.800
<v Speaker 2>my days, it's gone for me. Marriage is more of

751
00:47:41.320 --> 00:47:45.400
<v Speaker 2>a ministry. Marriage is a ministry. It's more of a ministry.

752
00:47:46.360 --> 00:47:50.239
<v Speaker 2>And one guy asks a very telling question, okay, and

753
00:47:50.280 --> 00:47:53.800
<v Speaker 2>the question is when you get married, would you want

754
00:47:53.880 --> 00:47:58.280
<v Speaker 2>to be holy or happy? You want to be holy

755
00:47:58.440 --> 00:48:00.920
<v Speaker 2>or happy? And when we recognize that marriage is a

756
00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:04.480
<v Speaker 2>ministry and there are three elements of marriage that I

757
00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:06.960
<v Speaker 2>think that we need to become aware of. And again

758
00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:09.199
<v Speaker 2>this is more theory. We could get back down to

759
00:48:09.239 --> 00:48:13.920
<v Speaker 2>the practical dynamic aspect of it. That marriage, for high functioning,

760
00:48:14.039 --> 00:48:18.840
<v Speaker 2>high efficient marriage or relationship has three essays sacrifice and

761
00:48:18.920 --> 00:48:23.559
<v Speaker 2>Geraldine spoke about Galiationians and somebody spoke about we are

762
00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:30.280
<v Speaker 2>we represent the feminine, represent the church. So there is service, submission,

763
00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:35.320
<v Speaker 2>and sacrifice. And I think if we begin to tease

764
00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:37.880
<v Speaker 2>out the fact that when you get married to someone,

765
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:43.400
<v Speaker 2>you actually called to serve them, You actually called you.

766
00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:46.960
<v Speaker 2>You're in a ministry to help that person and the

767
00:48:47.039 --> 00:48:52.119
<v Speaker 2>whole universe, you know. L Ny speaks about that hangs

768
00:48:52.159 --> 00:48:56.000
<v Speaker 2>on the aspect of service. When Christ came, he said that, look,

769
00:48:56.360 --> 00:48:59.199
<v Speaker 2>I came to serve, you know, if he was watching

770
00:48:59.239 --> 00:49:03.880
<v Speaker 2>the disciples. And when we recognize that we are placed

771
00:49:03.880 --> 00:49:10.519
<v Speaker 2>in the life of someone else to enrich, enhance, ennoble

772
00:49:10.599 --> 00:49:14.320
<v Speaker 2>that person, that we're there to serve that person, and

773
00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:20.280
<v Speaker 2>you are a channel through which our whole partner with

774
00:49:20.480 --> 00:49:24.440
<v Speaker 2>God to save that person's soul. I think our relationships

775
00:49:24.440 --> 00:49:27.679
<v Speaker 2>would have a different dimension and different direction and different

776
00:49:27.719 --> 00:49:28.760
<v Speaker 2>perspective altogether.

777
00:49:29.400 --> 00:49:34.960
<v Speaker 7>Enough said okay, Cynia, did you have a point to following?

778
00:49:35.079 --> 00:49:42.239
<v Speaker 7>Jump in there, go to Shannon. Okay, Shannon, go ahead,

779
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:46.280
<v Speaker 7>I will I.

780
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:54.039
<v Speaker 9>Will hold hold two words as key that we need

781
00:49:54.079 --> 00:49:57.840
<v Speaker 9>to do is respect. From what I've heard others as

782
00:49:57.840 --> 00:50:01.360
<v Speaker 9>well and said as well. So respect is very important

783
00:50:02.440 --> 00:50:05.360
<v Speaker 9>because if for example, you're going to speak in tern

784
00:50:06.320 --> 00:50:10.159
<v Speaker 9>or turn, then you would need to respect what that

785
00:50:10.199 --> 00:50:13.519
<v Speaker 9>person is doing and think about it, so you know,

786
00:50:14.239 --> 00:50:18.800
<v Speaker 9>stuff like that. And the other one is exercising forgiveness.

787
00:50:19.119 --> 00:50:22.039
<v Speaker 9>Because that has to be applied over and over again

788
00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:26.639
<v Speaker 9>because we're symbolizing a lower level of heavenly things or

789
00:50:26.679 --> 00:50:28.119
<v Speaker 9>heavily heavenly.

790
00:50:30.119 --> 00:50:32.039
<v Speaker 6>Practice or scenario.

791
00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:36.360
<v Speaker 9>And so we're going to get those principles in action

792
00:50:36.760 --> 00:50:40.000
<v Speaker 9>right where we are so that we can also receive

793
00:50:40.440 --> 00:50:42.400
<v Speaker 9>those forgiveness, those blessings that.

794
00:50:42.360 --> 00:50:46.800
<v Speaker 6>Are meant to come to us. Those are two very

795
00:50:46.840 --> 00:50:47.960
<v Speaker 6>strong areas.

796
00:50:47.800 --> 00:50:50.599
<v Speaker 9>None of us can really high behind. We're going to

797
00:50:50.639 --> 00:50:55.159
<v Speaker 9>get it in some way, shape or form.

798
00:50:56.199 --> 00:50:58.960
<v Speaker 6>Then also.

799
00:51:00.960 --> 00:51:04.760
<v Speaker 9>Meeting that person in terms of what their what their

800
00:51:04.920 --> 00:51:08.119
<v Speaker 9>likes are. So if you have a quarrel or if

801
00:51:08.119 --> 00:51:12.519
<v Speaker 9>you have a disagreement, you you're able to touch that

802
00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:17.119
<v Speaker 9>soft spot where you turn things around very easily. And

803
00:51:17.199 --> 00:51:20.360
<v Speaker 9>the word that says, do not go down. Don't let

804
00:51:20.360 --> 00:51:24.719
<v Speaker 9>the sun go down down on your wrath, because if

805
00:51:24.719 --> 00:51:27.599
<v Speaker 9>we understand that, every day comes with its own challenge

806
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:33.599
<v Speaker 9>and its own problem solving. So if you allow it

807
00:51:33.639 --> 00:51:37.400
<v Speaker 9>to accumulate, like if you have a VEX yesterday and

808
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:41.719
<v Speaker 9>you don't like make up back, then when tomorrow comes,

809
00:51:41.719 --> 00:51:46.159
<v Speaker 9>it's just gonna pile on and it gets more difficult

810
00:51:46.280 --> 00:51:47.239
<v Speaker 9>to address.

811
00:51:48.599 --> 00:51:51.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, cool, thank you, Sanya.

812
00:51:52.320 --> 00:51:54.480
<v Speaker 3>All Right, Sorry I was trying to answer before when

813
00:51:54.519 --> 00:51:55.559
<v Speaker 3>I was on the mute Apology.

814
00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:00.039
<v Speaker 6>But it's it's all.

815
00:52:00.280 --> 00:52:04.280
<v Speaker 3>Been really full and deep and meaningful conversation, a lot

816
00:52:04.519 --> 00:52:10.159
<v Speaker 3>of reminders for some and new information for others perhaps,

817
00:52:10.639 --> 00:52:13.119
<v Speaker 3>But my question is because it's all been good, it's

818
00:52:13.159 --> 00:52:16.639
<v Speaker 3>all been informative, and we know what we're looking to do,

819
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:19.639
<v Speaker 3>but I still feel, how do we do it?

820
00:52:20.440 --> 00:52:21.880
<v Speaker 6>How do we work.

821
00:52:21.679 --> 00:52:25.400
<v Speaker 3>On our compassion and our kindness? How do we work

822
00:52:25.519 --> 00:52:28.760
<v Speaker 3>on our ability to be respectful and understanding?

823
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:31.320
<v Speaker 6>How do we work on our emotional intelligence? Are we

824
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:32.840
<v Speaker 6>born that way?

825
00:52:33.719 --> 00:52:36.039
<v Speaker 3>Or is there a place that you go, Like you

826
00:52:36.079 --> 00:52:38.679
<v Speaker 3>go to the pharmacist for medication, is there a place

827
00:52:38.679 --> 00:52:41.000
<v Speaker 3>that you go that you can pick up these things?

828
00:52:41.480 --> 00:52:44.800
<v Speaker 3>I know Shannon mentioned before that there could be courses,

829
00:52:44.840 --> 00:52:48.400
<v Speaker 3>and I think she hinted to it being in the church,

830
00:52:48.480 --> 00:52:51.239
<v Speaker 3>maybe spaces and places within the church that this can

831
00:52:51.320 --> 00:52:55.920
<v Speaker 3>be taught or explained or discussed. So is that where

832
00:52:55.960 --> 00:52:59.119
<v Speaker 3>we started? Does it start with our parents? The upbringing?

833
00:53:00.119 --> 00:53:00.280
<v Speaker 8>Yeah?

834
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:01.559
<v Speaker 6>I'm I'm going all over.

835
00:53:01.440 --> 00:53:03.559
<v Speaker 3>The show because I think we've got good solutions, we

836
00:53:03.679 --> 00:53:06.639
<v Speaker 3>know where we're headed. But for someone listening stops, even

837
00:53:06.679 --> 00:53:10.760
<v Speaker 3>for myself, if I've got things to work on where

838
00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:12.719
<v Speaker 3>do I go to work on it? How do I

839
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:15.719
<v Speaker 3>know where to start when I'm working on it? And Geldine,

840
00:53:15.719 --> 00:53:18.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to destroy it? Oh to you, because I think, can.

841
00:53:18.800 --> 00:53:20.840
<v Speaker 5>They say one thing before you throw out the journey?

842
00:53:21.320 --> 00:53:21.400
<v Speaker 2>Ah?

843
00:53:22.159 --> 00:53:22.880
<v Speaker 5>Can't say one thing?

844
00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:28.360
<v Speaker 6>Cause I was actually, oh, yes, sorry, Patriote, that was kind.

845
00:53:28.199 --> 00:53:30.599
<v Speaker 5>Of gonna be my question too, But I was gonna

846
00:53:30.599 --> 00:53:33.360
<v Speaker 5>go kind of piggyback on Hilton a little bit, which

847
00:53:33.400 --> 00:53:37.360
<v Speaker 5>I agree with what he said about I think I

848
00:53:37.360 --> 00:53:39.159
<v Speaker 5>forgot the word he used. But my world would be

849
00:53:39.239 --> 00:53:42.199
<v Speaker 5>like expectations. I think sometimes we go into a a

850
00:53:42.280 --> 00:53:45.719
<v Speaker 5>marriage or relationship with a certain expectation. But if we

851
00:53:45.760 --> 00:53:49.159
<v Speaker 5>don't go in with that expectation just knowing that who

852
00:53:49.159 --> 00:53:51.199
<v Speaker 5>we're gonna be with or who we are with, you know,

853
00:53:51.280 --> 00:53:54.360
<v Speaker 5>God has put them with us, and then we learn

854
00:53:54.719 --> 00:53:57.599
<v Speaker 5>It's like you were saying, how is there a template?

855
00:53:57.679 --> 00:54:00.480
<v Speaker 5>I don't know. Well, the template is the Bible. You

856
00:54:00.559 --> 00:54:03.199
<v Speaker 5>learn from the Bible and then you expand from that.

857
00:54:03.800 --> 00:54:08.639
<v Speaker 5>But then you don't expect I think sometimes as people,

858
00:54:08.679 --> 00:54:11.039
<v Speaker 5>we expect certain things to be a certain way and

859
00:54:11.039 --> 00:54:12.440
<v Speaker 5>they don't turn out to be that way. So when

860
00:54:12.440 --> 00:54:15.039
<v Speaker 5>you get married, you expect their marriage to be there's

861
00:54:15.119 --> 00:54:18.519
<v Speaker 5>certain you know, like roses and diamonds, and it's not

862
00:54:19.239 --> 00:54:21.079
<v Speaker 5>and it's work and it's hard and you have to

863
00:54:21.559 --> 00:54:23.639
<v Speaker 5>learn the other person. And then you start finding other

864
00:54:23.679 --> 00:54:25.559
<v Speaker 5>things about the person that you didn't that you didn't

865
00:54:25.559 --> 00:54:28.079
<v Speaker 5>think they did or you didn't like. So you find out,

866
00:54:28.239 --> 00:54:29.840
<v Speaker 5>you know, even though you may try to find out

867
00:54:29.840 --> 00:54:33.119
<v Speaker 5>before you get married, there's always something when you get

868
00:54:33.119 --> 00:54:36.039
<v Speaker 5>married that you're like, I didn't know that about you

869
00:54:36.840 --> 00:54:39.480
<v Speaker 5>because maybe they just didn't they it didn't come up

870
00:54:39.599 --> 00:54:41.960
<v Speaker 5>or it just didn't show itself until you get married.

871
00:54:42.639 --> 00:54:45.760
<v Speaker 5>So I believe like if you go into a relationship

872
00:54:46.159 --> 00:54:49.920
<v Speaker 5>with not the expectation of it, without the expectations that

873
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:52.280
<v Speaker 5>you may have, and I know some people are going

874
00:54:52.320 --> 00:54:54.239
<v Speaker 5>to say, well, I expect this and I expect that,

875
00:54:54.960 --> 00:54:57.519
<v Speaker 5>but you don't always get what you expect. You don't

876
00:54:57.519 --> 00:55:01.559
<v Speaker 5>always get what you want, you don't always get what

877
00:55:01.639 --> 00:55:04.159
<v Speaker 5>you what you think you need. You're gonna sometimes you're

878
00:55:04.159 --> 00:55:05.960
<v Speaker 5>gonna get what you need. God's gonna give you what

879
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:09.079
<v Speaker 5>you need and you may not realize it until you

880
00:55:09.239 --> 00:55:12.239
<v Speaker 5>end that relationship. Am I saying that right? I don't

881
00:55:12.239 --> 00:55:14.480
<v Speaker 5>know that. That was just my thought process on that.

882
00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:18.559
<v Speaker 3>If I were to piggyback on you, then I would say,

883
00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:21.519
<v Speaker 3>I think we should have expectations, but maybe it's just

884
00:55:21.519 --> 00:55:24.920
<v Speaker 3>about setting healthy expectations.

885
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:28.480
<v Speaker 5>That's I need that, And that's what I'm saying, Like yeah,

886
00:55:28.519 --> 00:55:32.239
<v Speaker 5>but like okay, So like I'm going from personal. When

887
00:55:32.239 --> 00:55:36.639
<v Speaker 5>I married Tala, I expected a certain thing, but it

888
00:55:36.679 --> 00:55:39.960
<v Speaker 5>was not. It didn't turn out the way that I thought.

889
00:55:40.400 --> 00:55:43.000
<v Speaker 5>And and to be fair, I always tell people like

890
00:55:43.119 --> 00:55:47.000
<v Speaker 5>me and Tara's relationship and our marriage has been I

891
00:55:47.039 --> 00:55:48.920
<v Speaker 5>would not recommend that think some of the things we

892
00:55:48.960 --> 00:55:51.960
<v Speaker 5>went through in our marriage for other relationships, because they

893
00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:54.960
<v Speaker 5>may not survive. So I think it's based on the

894
00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:58.119
<v Speaker 5>person's upbringing and that and there what they have. Like

895
00:55:58.239 --> 00:56:00.440
<v Speaker 5>she had a mother and a father. I just have mother,

896
00:56:01.159 --> 00:56:03.480
<v Speaker 5>So we had to then combine those. We have to

897
00:56:03.519 --> 00:56:07.760
<v Speaker 5>combine those together, the expectations that we had, and combine

898
00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:10.320
<v Speaker 5>it to become together as one. Like like the Bible says,

899
00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:14.280
<v Speaker 5>you know, when I married Tara, then I cleaved away

900
00:56:14.280 --> 00:56:16.440
<v Speaker 5>from my mother and my father and I went and

901
00:56:16.519 --> 00:56:19.880
<v Speaker 5>TV was one. So when you're one, no matter what

902
00:56:20.039 --> 00:56:25.239
<v Speaker 5>you may expect it to be, you you work with

903
00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:28.719
<v Speaker 5>what that person. They faults and you help build them up.

904
00:56:29.159 --> 00:56:31.719
<v Speaker 5>So Taler helped me build Taler builds me up and

905
00:56:31.800 --> 00:56:33.880
<v Speaker 5>certain things, and I build her up in certain things.

906
00:56:34.280 --> 00:56:36.320
<v Speaker 5>And then you can get to the expectations that you

907
00:56:37.199 --> 00:56:43.639
<v Speaker 5>thought was going to happen in your marriage. And like

908
00:56:43.679 --> 00:56:47.760
<v Speaker 5>I said, that's just my view. You can debate or

909
00:56:47.800 --> 00:56:50.039
<v Speaker 5>you can say I'm wrong, I'm not gonna be mad,

910
00:56:50.119 --> 00:56:51.719
<v Speaker 5>or it's just my view.

911
00:56:51.880 --> 00:56:53.679
<v Speaker 7>I mean my thing to help him, that would be

912
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:56.039
<v Speaker 7>again to sort of I guess go about. Sesenia's question

913
00:56:56.119 --> 00:56:57.639
<v Speaker 7>was almost like how do you do that? Because you

914
00:56:57.719 --> 00:57:00.880
<v Speaker 7>kind of think, where does where due us or where

915
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:02.679
<v Speaker 7>should maybe my expectations.

916
00:57:02.760 --> 00:57:09.400
<v Speaker 5>Communications, as Shanna said, respect, communicate, respect, and understanding communication,

917
00:57:09.599 --> 00:57:11.840
<v Speaker 5>that's what. Then that's what all the things that you learn,

918
00:57:12.519 --> 00:57:15.599
<v Speaker 5>you read, you study, you look at other you you

919
00:57:15.639 --> 00:57:18.719
<v Speaker 5>talk to other people. You get examples and then you

920
00:57:18.840 --> 00:57:21.760
<v Speaker 5>kind of you kind of like put it all in

921
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:24.639
<v Speaker 5>a pot and mix it together and then you and

922
00:57:24.679 --> 00:57:27.519
<v Speaker 5>then you pick out what works for you because what

923
00:57:27.639 --> 00:57:30.360
<v Speaker 5>works for what works for us may not work for you,

924
00:57:30.880 --> 00:57:32.920
<v Speaker 5>but you can kind of tweak it to where it

925
00:57:32.960 --> 00:57:36.000
<v Speaker 5>works for you. So you get you get examples from

926
00:57:36.119 --> 00:57:38.840
<v Speaker 5>from as you say, from the church, from other couples,

927
00:57:39.400 --> 00:57:41.800
<v Speaker 5>you know, even bad and good, even a couple that

928
00:57:41.880 --> 00:57:44.440
<v Speaker 5>doesn't last. So a couple that doesn't work, you learn, well,

929
00:57:44.800 --> 00:57:47.519
<v Speaker 5>they did this and it didn't work, so you know what,

930
00:57:47.599 --> 00:57:49.800
<v Speaker 5>maybe we should stay away from that because it's not

931
00:57:49.840 --> 00:57:52.760
<v Speaker 5>gonna work, you understand. So it's like you just you.

932
00:57:53.000 --> 00:57:56.159
<v Speaker 5>It's like life lessons. I think sometimes books is good

933
00:57:56.559 --> 00:58:01.079
<v Speaker 5>to read and to study, but sometimes life experience is better.

934
00:58:01.400 --> 00:58:03.639
<v Speaker 5>We have a tendency sometimes not to look at the

935
00:58:03.639 --> 00:58:06.960
<v Speaker 5>life experience of people. We have a tendency just to

936
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:10.840
<v Speaker 5>go with or they're a doctor, or they're a psychiatrist,

937
00:58:11.320 --> 00:58:13.440
<v Speaker 5>or there this, or they're that, and we don't We

938
00:58:13.480 --> 00:58:16.000
<v Speaker 5>only go with what they say. But we don't look

939
00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:17.800
<v Speaker 5>at some of the church members that have been married

940
00:58:17.840 --> 00:58:21.559
<v Speaker 5>for fifty years and they never had a they don't

941
00:58:21.599 --> 00:58:25.400
<v Speaker 5>have no book knowledge. Their whole thing is from experience,

942
00:58:25.559 --> 00:58:29.199
<v Speaker 5>what to do, what not to do? How should I understand?

943
00:58:29.199 --> 00:58:31.480
<v Speaker 5>We don't look at that as people, especially in the church,

944
00:58:31.519 --> 00:58:34.119
<v Speaker 5>we have a tendency. I hate this, and I'm probably

945
00:58:34.119 --> 00:58:35.400
<v Speaker 5>gonna get in stolid, but I hate this. I think

946
00:58:35.440 --> 00:58:38.880
<v Speaker 5>sometimes in church, as church members, we don't look at

947
00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:40.559
<v Speaker 5>the people that we should be looking at. We only

948
00:58:40.599 --> 00:58:43.239
<v Speaker 5>look at the people that the pastor the old. We

949
00:58:43.280 --> 00:58:45.960
<v Speaker 5>only look at people that have a title. We don't

950
00:58:45.960 --> 00:58:47.760
<v Speaker 5>always have to look at those people. We need to

951
00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:50.400
<v Speaker 5>look at the people that have been doing it for

952
00:58:50.480 --> 00:58:53.000
<v Speaker 5>the life of the relationship, with the life of the

953
00:58:53.039 --> 00:58:55.800
<v Speaker 5>marriage and learn from them. Go in and pick and

954
00:58:55.880 --> 00:58:57.559
<v Speaker 5>pick their minds and talk to them.

955
00:58:58.079 --> 00:59:02.400
<v Speaker 4>Exactly about her. Yeah, me too, I agree.

956
00:59:02.719 --> 00:59:03.320
<v Speaker 6>I agree.

957
00:59:03.880 --> 00:59:06.159
<v Speaker 10>Like it's one of my biggest things that I literally

958
00:59:06.159 --> 00:59:08.719
<v Speaker 10>talked to her. Every person I mean that is older

959
00:59:08.719 --> 00:59:11.519
<v Speaker 10>than me. I love sitting down and having conversation with

960
00:59:11.599 --> 00:59:14.679
<v Speaker 10>other people that are married because you live from there,

961
00:59:14.840 --> 00:59:17.960
<v Speaker 10>like you experience what they've experienced without actually living in

962
00:59:18.400 --> 00:59:21.280
<v Speaker 10>So everybody that's married, I mean, because I'm very newly married,

963
00:59:21.320 --> 00:59:23.960
<v Speaker 10>I'm just like, what advice would you give me? Or

964
00:59:24.000 --> 00:59:25.440
<v Speaker 10>what did you have to what would you say I

965
00:59:25.480 --> 00:59:27.639
<v Speaker 10>would have to do? What would you because I can

966
00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:30.239
<v Speaker 10>learn from their experiences with that and the thing with

967
00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:32.239
<v Speaker 10>us about that as young people, what we tend to

968
00:59:32.480 --> 00:59:35.280
<v Speaker 10>fail to realize sometimes is that the older people, they

969
00:59:35.320 --> 00:59:37.440
<v Speaker 10>carry a lot of wisdom, you know what I mean,

970
00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:39.840
<v Speaker 10>whether they were in the filed marriage or not, they

971
00:59:39.880 --> 00:59:41.519
<v Speaker 10>would be able to give you advice as to why

972
00:59:41.559 --> 00:59:44.880
<v Speaker 10>it failed or why it's working. And we sometimes as

973
00:59:44.880 --> 00:59:46.760
<v Speaker 10>young people, we tend to think that we know everything.

974
00:59:47.079 --> 00:59:50.039
<v Speaker 4>But if we just sit and listen sometimes.

975
00:59:49.760 --> 00:59:52.519
<v Speaker 10>Like it can be very very helpful. I've always been

976
00:59:52.559 --> 00:59:54.960
<v Speaker 10>that person. From growing up. I'd always asked older people,

977
00:59:55.800 --> 00:59:57.519
<v Speaker 10>like I would say and listen to stories for hours

978
00:59:57.519 --> 00:59:59.360
<v Speaker 10>because I'm just like I need to hear what you did.

979
00:59:59.440 --> 01:00:00.199
<v Speaker 4>So I don't do that.

980
01:00:00.639 --> 01:00:03.639
<v Speaker 3>Do you get good to hear you say that? I'm

981
01:00:03.639 --> 01:00:07.239
<v Speaker 3>almost stand it to say, repeat, repeat, repeat. Our young

982
01:00:07.320 --> 01:00:09.760
<v Speaker 3>people need to hear that if they don't already know.

983
01:00:10.400 --> 01:00:13.639
<v Speaker 10>I honestly like it's one of like I've got a

984
01:00:13.679 --> 01:00:16.320
<v Speaker 10>lot of older clients are coming, like I love hearing

985
01:00:16.320 --> 01:00:19.880
<v Speaker 10>the windworsh story and the wind Ruge generation stories. I

986
01:00:19.920 --> 01:00:22.760
<v Speaker 10>love hearing how how you been married? I mean like

987
01:00:23.000 --> 01:00:23.559
<v Speaker 10>we travel.

988
01:00:23.800 --> 01:00:25.800
<v Speaker 4>I travel a lot. When I go, we go to

989
01:00:25.880 --> 01:00:28.159
<v Speaker 4>loads of different inventist churches. Everywhere we go. We try

990
01:00:28.199 --> 01:00:29.280
<v Speaker 4>to finan chide and you go to it.

991
01:00:29.679 --> 01:00:32.079
<v Speaker 10>And when I was in Watertime, i met this couple

992
01:00:32.159 --> 01:00:36.800
<v Speaker 10>that was married for seventy years. So I'm like, wow,

993
01:00:36.960 --> 01:00:38.639
<v Speaker 10>I was listening the whole time. I wouldn't talk it

994
01:00:38.639 --> 01:00:40.159
<v Speaker 10>to nobody else in the ship. I just wanted to

995
01:00:40.159 --> 01:00:43.000
<v Speaker 10>hear all these stories then, because that is an accomplishment

996
01:00:43.039 --> 01:00:45.480
<v Speaker 10>in itself, and in this day and age, my generation

997
01:00:45.639 --> 01:00:47.800
<v Speaker 10>is just like, Okay, we picked this up, we drop it.

998
01:00:47.840 --> 01:00:49.440
<v Speaker 4>We don't like that we pick this up, we drop it.

999
01:00:49.480 --> 01:00:52.800
<v Speaker 10>But marriage is a commitment, and when we make that

1000
01:00:52.880 --> 01:00:56.480
<v Speaker 10>commitment before God first of all, and then before the world,

1001
01:00:56.920 --> 01:00:59.159
<v Speaker 10>we have to understand how to deal with that. The

1002
01:00:59.199 --> 01:01:01.639
<v Speaker 10>only way we're going to know first of all the Bible,

1003
01:01:01.800 --> 01:01:04.559
<v Speaker 10>and then the older people in our community, in our churches.

1004
01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:07.760
<v Speaker 4>If you talk to any older person, God first, God first,

1005
01:01:07.800 --> 01:01:08.320
<v Speaker 4>called first.

1006
01:01:08.320 --> 01:01:10.679
<v Speaker 10>But as young people because of the generation that we live,

1007
01:01:10.719 --> 01:01:13.039
<v Speaker 10>and we tend not to hear that that God first,

1008
01:01:13.159 --> 01:01:15.760
<v Speaker 10>because that's the only way it's going to be like God.

1009
01:01:15.760 --> 01:01:16.599
<v Speaker 4>It's not at the forefront.

1010
01:01:16.679 --> 01:01:19.639
<v Speaker 10>Is if your husband's not leading your partners, not partner

1011
01:01:19.679 --> 01:01:23.039
<v Speaker 10>your husband, If your husband's not leading with God first,

1012
01:01:23.159 --> 01:01:25.960
<v Speaker 10>then it's going to fall apart. And if you talk

1013
01:01:26.039 --> 01:01:28.679
<v Speaker 10>to the old the married couples in the churches, they

1014
01:01:28.760 --> 01:01:30.639
<v Speaker 10>always say they put God first, do you know what

1015
01:01:30.639 --> 01:01:33.960
<v Speaker 10>I mean? And then everything else comes after that. Sorry,

1016
01:01:34.000 --> 01:01:37.079
<v Speaker 10>I just wanted to know, no question.

1017
01:01:36.920 --> 01:01:37.760
<v Speaker 6>Went to Geraldine.

1018
01:01:37.760 --> 01:01:40.519
<v Speaker 3>I think, but I don't know if Geraldine used to

1019
01:01:40.599 --> 01:01:41.360
<v Speaker 3>wanting to chime.

1020
01:01:41.239 --> 01:01:42.719
<v Speaker 6>In, and then I think there was.

1021
01:01:42.719 --> 01:01:45.960
<v Speaker 4>A mother first, and then I'll come and.

1022
01:01:46.119 --> 01:01:46.840
<v Speaker 1>Come up with.

1023
01:01:49.559 --> 01:01:52.199
<v Speaker 11>Well, a lot of men said that I do agree

1024
01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:55.760
<v Speaker 11>and support. The only thing I probably would want to

1025
01:01:55.840 --> 01:02:03.119
<v Speaker 11>chime in there is probably because I'm a teachers. Marriage

1026
01:02:03.159 --> 01:02:07.159
<v Speaker 11>is an institution, This says, the institution that you don't

1027
01:02:07.199 --> 01:02:08.159
<v Speaker 11>graduate from.

1028
01:02:09.639 --> 01:02:11.440
<v Speaker 6>And I know they.

1029
01:02:11.360 --> 01:02:18.159
<v Speaker 11>Said it is probably Miss Elton and yourself could verify whether, yes,

1030
01:02:18.360 --> 01:02:25.360
<v Speaker 11>more divorces are really marrying. And we want to know why.

1031
01:02:25.519 --> 01:02:28.760
<v Speaker 11>Is it because of technology? Is it because we have

1032
01:02:28.840 --> 01:02:30.400
<v Speaker 11>more people writing books?

1033
01:02:30.679 --> 01:02:32.840
<v Speaker 12>Is it because knowledge has increased?

1034
01:02:33.480 --> 01:02:38.000
<v Speaker 11>Is it because the church is more impacting? The church

1035
01:02:38.119 --> 01:02:41.119
<v Speaker 11>recognize that they have been feelings, so they are now

1036
01:02:41.159 --> 01:02:45.599
<v Speaker 11>coming up to scratch now and educating the populace the

1037
01:02:45.719 --> 01:02:51.320
<v Speaker 11>membership about maintaining and strengthening relationships.

1038
01:02:52.559 --> 01:02:54.280
<v Speaker 12>These are some of the realities.

1039
01:02:55.000 --> 01:03:00.559
<v Speaker 11>But as a teacher, we fail because of ignorance, you know,

1040
01:03:00.599 --> 01:03:03.320
<v Speaker 11>we perish for the lack of my people perish for

1041
01:03:03.360 --> 01:03:07.320
<v Speaker 11>the lack of knowledge. And yes, we are in the

1042
01:03:07.400 --> 01:03:10.960
<v Speaker 11>information age or the fingertips we have, you know, just

1043
01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:13.280
<v Speaker 11>a punch and stuff and we're getting information.

1044
01:03:15.599 --> 01:03:17.400
<v Speaker 12>But I'm also and I'm.

1045
01:03:17.199 --> 01:03:23.800
<v Speaker 11>Also saying, as Buttan was suggesting the skills.

1046
01:03:24.159 --> 01:03:27.800
<v Speaker 12>You know, we need skills for success.

1047
01:03:28.760 --> 01:03:32.639
<v Speaker 11>And as I said, yes, we could get these skills

1048
01:03:32.679 --> 01:03:37.039
<v Speaker 11>either from the example, the pages of people lives or

1049
01:03:37.079 --> 01:03:41.599
<v Speaker 11>the pages that people write, the pages of people lives

1050
01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:48.440
<v Speaker 11>or the pages of people that people write, but information education.

1051
01:03:49.239 --> 01:03:51.400
<v Speaker 11>Because I want to be, for example, I want to

1052
01:03:51.400 --> 01:03:54.880
<v Speaker 11>be the best teacher, the best lawyer, the best doctor,

1053
01:03:55.840 --> 01:03:56.360
<v Speaker 11>I have to.

1054
01:03:56.360 --> 01:04:03.119
<v Speaker 4>Go through a scheme. I have to go through one, two, three, four.

1055
01:04:02.920 --> 01:04:07.440
<v Speaker 11>Sometimes six seven years before I could be a specialist,

1056
01:04:07.800 --> 01:04:11.519
<v Speaker 11>before before I could consider myself a success.

1057
01:04:11.840 --> 01:04:14.360
<v Speaker 12>But but but.

1058
01:04:13.559 --> 01:04:18.559
<v Speaker 11>But where's the university for or where's the school or

1059
01:04:18.599 --> 01:04:21.719
<v Speaker 11>the class for a successful marriage?

1060
01:04:22.320 --> 01:04:22.880
<v Speaker 4>Where's it?

1061
01:04:23.800 --> 01:04:27.079
<v Speaker 11>We have books, yes, but where's the course, where's the class?

1062
01:04:27.199 --> 01:04:28.880
<v Speaker 11>Where's the degree offered?

1063
01:04:31.239 --> 01:04:31.639
<v Speaker 4>Okay?

1064
01:04:32.800 --> 01:04:35.639
<v Speaker 3>Well that Hilton, did you or Jaldine? You're jumping in? Okay,

1065
01:04:35.639 --> 01:04:36.679
<v Speaker 3>go on, Okay.

1066
01:04:36.760 --> 01:04:40.360
<v Speaker 8>So I just wanted to add a few things the practice.

1067
01:04:40.440 --> 01:04:42.920
<v Speaker 8>I'm going to come back on the back of Pedro. Actually,

1068
01:04:43.000 --> 01:04:48.559
<v Speaker 8>and Hilton said a few things before. You know, as Christians,

1069
01:04:49.000 --> 01:04:54.400
<v Speaker 8>our principles are based on the Word of God. Categorically,

1070
01:04:54.559 --> 01:04:57.480
<v Speaker 8>whether we like to read the Word every day, whether

1071
01:04:57.480 --> 01:05:00.079
<v Speaker 8>we like to pray every day, whether we like to

1072
01:05:00.159 --> 01:05:04.280
<v Speaker 8>praise God every day or not, it's based in God's word.

1073
01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:05.199
<v Speaker 4>It's just simple.

1074
01:05:05.719 --> 01:05:08.760
<v Speaker 8>So one of the practical guidances that Jesus has given

1075
01:05:08.840 --> 01:05:13.199
<v Speaker 8>us is to love your neighbor as yourself. If you

1076
01:05:13.440 --> 01:05:17.039
<v Speaker 8>learn to be kind and compassionate to others who do

1077
01:05:17.079 --> 01:05:20.880
<v Speaker 8>not know you, who are not of your own kind

1078
01:05:21.159 --> 01:05:25.480
<v Speaker 8>i e. Christianity or culture, then you will be able

1079
01:05:25.519 --> 01:05:28.599
<v Speaker 8>to display that in your marriage. It's as simple as that.

1080
01:05:29.599 --> 01:05:32.920
<v Speaker 8>Now people always talk about roles and responsibilities.

1081
01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:35.599
<v Speaker 4>Practical guidance is given in God's word.

1082
01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:36.760
<v Speaker 2>All right.

1083
01:05:36.880 --> 01:05:39.320
<v Speaker 8>We have books from Egui. I was reading books at

1084
01:05:39.320 --> 01:05:42.679
<v Speaker 8>the age of sixteen seventeen, you know. Messages to young

1085
01:05:42.719 --> 01:05:47.440
<v Speaker 8>people was the first direct second was my sister gave

1086
01:05:47.480 --> 01:05:48.000
<v Speaker 8>me a book.

1087
01:05:48.119 --> 01:05:52.559
<v Speaker 4>It was onbecoming a woman. Right. There are other books

1088
01:05:52.639 --> 01:05:56.239
<v Speaker 4>that I have read irrespective of that.

1089
01:05:56.320 --> 01:06:00.239
<v Speaker 8>But I have to say, remember these books, and I'm

1090
01:06:00.239 --> 01:06:03.360
<v Speaker 8>not knocking any book at all, but these books are

1091
01:06:03.400 --> 01:06:06.320
<v Speaker 8>written on the basis of somebody's experience.

1092
01:06:06.880 --> 01:06:08.119
<v Speaker 4>It is not yours.

1093
01:06:08.599 --> 01:06:12.760
<v Speaker 8>Nobody said that there would be pages and pages of pages.

1094
01:06:12.599 --> 01:06:16.760
<v Speaker 4>Of how we will get on in marriage. Nobody said that.

1095
01:06:16.840 --> 01:06:18.760
<v Speaker 4>Jesus never said that right.

1096
01:06:19.360 --> 01:06:23.320
<v Speaker 8>He gave us biblical principles for the concepts and the

1097
01:06:23.400 --> 01:06:26.880
<v Speaker 8>purposes and the premises of marriage. But nobody told us

1098
01:06:26.920 --> 01:06:28.519
<v Speaker 8>that there would be a book written, So I'm not

1099
01:06:28.599 --> 01:06:31.320
<v Speaker 8>too sure why we're expecting it. What we do know

1100
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:35.360
<v Speaker 8>is that we have to base our marriage or our

1101
01:06:35.400 --> 01:06:38.000
<v Speaker 8>relationship with God based upon his word.

1102
01:06:38.360 --> 01:06:41.920
<v Speaker 4>Jesus teaches us all things. The Holy Spirit leads us

1103
01:06:41.960 --> 01:06:42.880
<v Speaker 4>into all truth.

1104
01:06:42.960 --> 01:06:46.360
<v Speaker 8>And while some people may feel, well that's easy to see,

1105
01:06:46.440 --> 01:06:51.760
<v Speaker 8>but he really does. If your dependency really is on Christ,

1106
01:06:51.840 --> 01:06:55.480
<v Speaker 8>the solid rock, then he will teach you, he says,

1107
01:06:55.800 --> 01:06:58.239
<v Speaker 8>I will teach you and lead you into Autroughy, what

1108
01:06:58.400 --> 01:06:59.320
<v Speaker 8>did you think it was?

1109
01:06:59.480 --> 01:06:59.960
<v Speaker 12>Just as well?

1110
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:05.760
<v Speaker 8>No, there's practical skills of living a basic a basic life,

1111
01:07:05.880 --> 01:07:08.480
<v Speaker 8>the principles of given, the principles of love it, the

1112
01:07:08.559 --> 01:07:12.000
<v Speaker 8>principles of teaching. All of these things are conjured up

1113
01:07:12.000 --> 01:07:15.039
<v Speaker 8>in God's word. And if we learn to eat the

1114
01:07:15.079 --> 01:07:19.760
<v Speaker 8>words of God, then we will see it displayed out.

1115
01:07:19.719 --> 01:07:22.920
<v Speaker 4>Within our lives. Yes, we will have hiccups along the way.

1116
01:07:22.960 --> 01:07:23.880
<v Speaker 4>I wasn't where I.

1117
01:07:23.960 --> 01:07:27.159
<v Speaker 8>Was a year ago or six months ago had changed,

1118
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:30.679
<v Speaker 8>especially in the relationship that I have with Earth. We've

1119
01:07:30.760 --> 01:07:33.880
<v Speaker 8>both changed. We have seeing the change. We talk about

1120
01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:38.440
<v Speaker 8>it practically, we pray about it. Essentially, we ask God

1121
01:07:38.480 --> 01:07:42.920
<v Speaker 8>to help us to improve individually and collectively together so

1122
01:07:43.000 --> 01:07:46.800
<v Speaker 8>that we are always continuing that process.

1123
01:07:46.519 --> 01:07:49.760
<v Speaker 4>And that journey. So I would always.

1124
01:07:49.360 --> 01:07:54.800
<v Speaker 8>Say that the humility, the generosity, the faithfulness, the love

1125
01:07:55.239 --> 01:07:59.280
<v Speaker 8>of the neighbor, the forgiveness, he honesty, the integrity, all

1126
01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:01.719
<v Speaker 8>of these things display.

1127
01:08:01.360 --> 01:08:03.000
<v Speaker 4>And conjure up one's character.

1128
01:08:03.559 --> 01:08:06.440
<v Speaker 8>How you love your neighbor, love God with all your heart,

1129
01:08:06.760 --> 01:08:09.320
<v Speaker 8>with all your soul, and with all your mind, and

1130
01:08:09.400 --> 01:08:14.079
<v Speaker 8>your neighbor as yourself. If you learn to love your neighbor,

1131
01:08:14.400 --> 01:08:19.279
<v Speaker 8>you get the practicality of how your relationship would be

1132
01:08:19.399 --> 01:08:22.119
<v Speaker 8>one with another. Because if you love a stranger, you

1133
01:08:23.880 --> 01:08:27.399
<v Speaker 8>if you love a stranger, you definitely will be able

1134
01:08:27.479 --> 01:08:31.199
<v Speaker 8>to have that teachable, teachable spirit. God always speaks to

1135
01:08:31.239 --> 01:08:34.479
<v Speaker 8>me about having a teachable spirit. He always talks about

1136
01:08:34.800 --> 01:08:38.159
<v Speaker 8>learning to live the character of Jesus in your life

1137
01:08:38.319 --> 01:08:41.119
<v Speaker 8>so it can be displayed in others. And I think

1138
01:08:41.199 --> 01:08:44.600
<v Speaker 8>if we learn some of these practical stages, take time out,

1139
01:08:44.800 --> 01:08:47.439
<v Speaker 8>get to know Jesus, get to know what His will

1140
01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:49.119
<v Speaker 8>is for you in your life.

1141
01:08:49.279 --> 01:08:52.159
<v Speaker 4>You know, get to know the providence of his life

1142
01:08:52.159 --> 01:08:54.560
<v Speaker 4>for you. Don't be fearful.

1143
01:08:55.199 --> 01:08:57.840
<v Speaker 8>Ask God to teach you how to walk in his

1144
01:08:57.960 --> 01:09:00.800
<v Speaker 8>statues and to walk in His way. Wait, so that

1145
01:09:01.119 --> 01:09:06.640
<v Speaker 8>those biblical principles coupled with the practical experience that He

1146
01:09:06.800 --> 01:09:08.039
<v Speaker 8>teaches us every.

1147
01:09:07.880 --> 01:09:11.680
<v Speaker 4>Day, Well, this will be displayed in the Christian's life.

1148
01:09:12.439 --> 01:09:15.840
<v Speaker 4>M Oh yeah, I didn't want to preach.

1149
01:09:15.920 --> 01:09:20.960
<v Speaker 7>No, no, no, loving that and missy scribbling, missy scribbling, Hilton,

1150
01:09:21.760 --> 01:09:22.920
<v Speaker 7>is this point your point? You're going to make a

1151
01:09:22.920 --> 01:09:25.199
<v Speaker 7>related direct to that? Or because I take a music

1152
01:09:25.239 --> 01:09:26.640
<v Speaker 7>break and then maybe come back, So.

1153
01:09:27.840 --> 01:09:31.399
<v Speaker 2>I think we break hidden.

1154
01:09:31.399 --> 01:09:33.880
<v Speaker 7>Cool cool cool, Okay, Well, one of the key things

1155
01:09:33.920 --> 01:09:37.119
<v Speaker 7>that I've just taken from that is really ultimately our

1156
01:09:37.119 --> 01:09:39.600
<v Speaker 7>starting point has to be God first. So I'm going

1157
01:09:39.640 --> 01:09:41.680
<v Speaker 7>to play one of our favorites and probably the world's

1158
01:09:41.680 --> 01:09:44.680
<v Speaker 7>favorite as well, The Goodness of God by C. C.

1159
01:09:44.800 --> 01:09:45.359
<v Speaker 1>Winans.

1160
01:09:46.039 --> 01:09:50.159
<v Speaker 7>It's a fantastic song, fantastic song, and one of the

1161
01:09:50.279 --> 01:09:53.439
<v Speaker 7>key things that I really love about this song is

1162
01:09:53.479 --> 01:09:57.239
<v Speaker 7>where it's saying that you know, God is running after us,

1163
01:09:57.680 --> 01:10:01.000
<v Speaker 7>and I think sometimes we almost want to be I

1164
01:10:01.039 --> 01:10:02.319
<v Speaker 7>wo don't want to say I want to be caught

1165
01:10:02.359 --> 01:10:04.600
<v Speaker 7>by God to be able to say, actually, I can

1166
01:10:04.800 --> 01:10:07.800
<v Speaker 7>walk with him. He can take my hands and guide

1167
01:10:07.880 --> 01:10:09.800
<v Speaker 7>me through. Just what you've been saying there as well.

1168
01:10:09.880 --> 01:10:14.399
<v Speaker 7>So let's hear from c C. Goodness of God.

1169
01:10:15.520 --> 01:10:21.960
<v Speaker 21>Lord, for your merging never fails me.

1170
01:10:24.079 --> 01:10:29.239
<v Speaker 14>Oh, my DearS, I've been helding your head.

1171
01:10:31.399 --> 01:10:33.479
<v Speaker 6>From the moment that I wait.

1172
01:10:35.560 --> 01:10:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Until I live my head.

1173
01:10:39.079 --> 01:10:40.720
<v Speaker 4>Oh, I will see.

1174
01:10:41.680 --> 01:10:49.479
<v Speaker 12>Of the goodness of God, because.

1175
01:10:49.159 --> 01:10:57.840
<v Speaker 21>All my life you have been faith, a normal life.

1176
01:10:58.079 --> 01:11:00.640
<v Speaker 4>You have been so so.

1177
01:11:04.079 --> 01:11:08.000
<v Speaker 21>With every breath that I am laidble.

1178
01:11:09.560 --> 01:11:14.880
<v Speaker 3>Oh, why you will see of the goodness of God.

1179
01:11:17.159 --> 01:11:18.840
<v Speaker 4>I love your boys.

1180
01:11:21.880 --> 01:11:25.880
<v Speaker 21>You have led me through the fire.

1181
01:11:26.640 --> 01:11:28.199
<v Speaker 1>In the darkest times.

1182
01:11:29.520 --> 01:11:31.079
<v Speaker 6>You are close line.

1183
01:11:31.279 --> 01:11:39.119
<v Speaker 4>No, I'm known you as a fire. I'm known you

1184
01:11:39.159 --> 01:11:39.920
<v Speaker 4>as a.

1185
01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:47.199
<v Speaker 17>And I have lived in the goodness of God.

1186
01:11:49.479 --> 01:11:49.760
<v Speaker 18>God.

1187
01:11:51.600 --> 01:11:53.000
<v Speaker 4>It's all my life.

1188
01:11:53.319 --> 01:11:54.840
<v Speaker 17>You have been faith.

1189
01:11:57.079 --> 01:12:03.439
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, nor you have been so so.

1190
01:12:07.279 --> 01:12:10.359
<v Speaker 17>Very man that I am made.

1191
01:12:12.399 --> 01:12:13.760
<v Speaker 7>For See.

1192
01:12:15.279 --> 01:12:23.680
<v Speaker 3>Then your goodness.

1193
01:12:23.159 --> 01:12:24.039
<v Speaker 17>Is Bronni naugh.

1194
01:12:24.840 --> 01:12:26.880
<v Speaker 15>It's pretty enough to me.

1195
01:12:29.520 --> 01:12:34.079
<v Speaker 21>Your gownness is Brownie naw after its body enough to

1196
01:12:34.279 --> 01:12:40.279
<v Speaker 21>me with my eye lame now my surrender, Now I

1197
01:12:40.479 --> 01:12:42.039
<v Speaker 21>can't you have the.

1198
01:12:43.600 --> 01:12:43.840
<v Speaker 1>God?

1199
01:12:44.760 --> 01:12:49.159
<v Speaker 17>Your godness is Brannie enough, is party.

1200
01:12:48.840 --> 01:12:49.600
<v Speaker 1>Enough to me?

1201
01:12:52.399 --> 01:13:02.119
<v Speaker 17>Jure love money, I am all the miss crying out.

1202
01:13:03.039 --> 01:13:11.319
<v Speaker 17>It's running out with my life, lame house hiding you

1203
01:13:11.760 --> 01:13:18.680
<v Speaker 17>have you're the miss riding it's.

1204
01:13:18.680 --> 01:13:34.199
<v Speaker 21>Running No my life. You have been faithful.

1205
01:13:34.840 --> 01:13:37.800
<v Speaker 1>M hmm, nor my life.

1206
01:13:38.119 --> 01:13:46.159
<v Speaker 21>You have been so so with the rebreath that I

1207
01:13:46.439 --> 01:13:59.279
<v Speaker 21>am madeble. I'm gonna say other somebody say.

1208
01:14:26.000 --> 01:14:50.479
<v Speaker 7>To say, Okay, we're going to sing of the goodness

1209
01:14:50.520 --> 01:14:54.079
<v Speaker 7>of God. If you've just joined us. Hopefully you haven't

1210
01:14:54.119 --> 01:14:56.279
<v Speaker 7>just joined us, but if you have, you've missed a

1211
01:14:56.319 --> 01:14:57.560
<v Speaker 7>great conversation so far.

1212
01:14:58.000 --> 01:14:59.119
<v Speaker 1>You're here on talking point.

1213
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.960
<v Speaker 7>We've been discussing about continue our discussion about relationships, but

1214
01:15:04.039 --> 01:15:09.359
<v Speaker 7>also how we can practically make our relationships better, help

1215
01:15:09.399 --> 01:15:11.920
<v Speaker 7>them to work what we can do, and we've had

1216
01:15:11.960 --> 01:15:16.399
<v Speaker 7>some gems great insight already from our panel this evening.

1217
01:15:17.119 --> 01:15:18.479
<v Speaker 7>But we'd love to hear from you if you've got

1218
01:15:18.479 --> 01:15:22.359
<v Speaker 7>any other comments or thoughts as well, So do in progress,

1219
01:15:22.720 --> 01:15:26.399
<v Speaker 7>so do emailers on studio at Adventist Radio dot London.

1220
01:15:27.399 --> 01:15:30.920
<v Speaker 7>You can text us at eight triple two eight write

1221
01:15:30.960 --> 01:15:33.159
<v Speaker 7>hope then your message, or you can send us a

1222
01:15:33.199 --> 01:15:37.279
<v Speaker 7>WhatsApp message on zero seven four five ninety six four

1223
01:15:37.640 --> 01:15:41.319
<v Speaker 7>two eight nine eight. So yes did during the conversation,

1224
01:15:42.039 --> 01:15:47.159
<v Speaker 7>So just before the break, Uh, Geraldine was saying, you know,

1225
01:15:47.399 --> 01:15:50.039
<v Speaker 7>really and a lot everybody's been saying this in terms of,

1226
01:15:50.159 --> 01:15:52.399
<v Speaker 7>you know, God needs to be the starting point of this.

1227
01:15:55.640 --> 01:15:57.760
<v Speaker 7>As we were off their Zenya had a point where

1228
01:15:57.800 --> 01:15:59.800
<v Speaker 7>she wanted to challenge Geraldine and what she was saying.

1229
01:15:59.840 --> 01:16:02.279
<v Speaker 1>So I said, yeah, over to you to kind of

1230
01:16:02.399 --> 01:16:04.720
<v Speaker 1>then go over to Geraldine.

1231
01:16:05.680 --> 01:16:05.840
<v Speaker 8>Right.

1232
01:16:06.000 --> 01:16:09.800
<v Speaker 3>So here we were talking about the Jerlden. You made

1233
01:16:09.840 --> 01:16:13.560
<v Speaker 3>a point that if you were able to love and

1234
01:16:15.479 --> 01:16:17.840
<v Speaker 3>be kind and compassionate to a stranger, as we've been

1235
01:16:17.880 --> 01:16:20.920
<v Speaker 3>called to do, then certainly you are able to do

1236
01:16:21.079 --> 01:16:25.039
<v Speaker 3>that within the construct of a marriage and a relationship.

1237
01:16:25.520 --> 01:16:28.680
<v Speaker 6>And I just wanted to poke a little bit as

1238
01:16:28.920 --> 01:16:34.520
<v Speaker 6>I tend to do and ask well, like me, so many.

1239
01:16:34.520 --> 01:16:38.039
<v Speaker 3>Find it difficult more difficult to be compassionate and kind

1240
01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:41.359
<v Speaker 3>within the construct of a relationship when you've been called

1241
01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:45.279
<v Speaker 3>to move from individuals with your own individual taste, your

1242
01:16:45.319 --> 01:16:48.359
<v Speaker 3>own individual opinions, and merge into one.

1243
01:16:49.520 --> 01:16:53.279
<v Speaker 6>That's where you might find the conflict coming. I like

1244
01:16:53.399 --> 01:16:56.399
<v Speaker 6>my room called he lights it hat do we go

1245
01:16:56.560 --> 01:16:57.199
<v Speaker 6>under the covers?

1246
01:16:57.239 --> 01:16:57.600
<v Speaker 2>Do we not?

1247
01:16:58.920 --> 01:17:01.239
<v Speaker 3>Do you drag it off me and put it on myself?

1248
01:17:01.560 --> 01:17:04.079
<v Speaker 3>So you know, the tough will begin that it's not

1249
01:17:04.279 --> 01:17:07.479
<v Speaker 3>just about the covers. That's a simple explanation, but it

1250
01:17:07.520 --> 01:17:09.680
<v Speaker 3>can bubble up to any other thing that we have

1251
01:17:09.840 --> 01:17:11.279
<v Speaker 3>to deal with as a couple.

1252
01:17:11.399 --> 01:17:13.640
<v Speaker 6>So what's your answer to that?

1253
01:17:14.119 --> 01:17:16.640
<v Speaker 3>And I think it maybe has to do with emotional

1254
01:17:16.680 --> 01:17:20.560
<v Speaker 3>intelligence and some other issues, but some other principles.

1255
01:17:20.600 --> 01:17:23.600
<v Speaker 6>But what would be your rebuff to my question?

1256
01:17:25.479 --> 01:17:27.680
<v Speaker 4>I think one of them would be not taking people

1257
01:17:27.720 --> 01:17:30.680
<v Speaker 4>for granted. I think with our loved ones, we tend

1258
01:17:30.720 --> 01:17:34.520
<v Speaker 4>to because we know them, because we know the insights

1259
01:17:34.720 --> 01:17:37.199
<v Speaker 4>out sometimes of them and what they will do, or

1260
01:17:37.319 --> 01:17:40.199
<v Speaker 4>we pre end what they do. I think then we

1261
01:17:40.520 --> 01:17:42.279
<v Speaker 4>end up taking people for granted.

1262
01:17:43.840 --> 01:17:48.920
<v Speaker 8>Appreciation is one whereby you must be able to be

1263
01:17:49.199 --> 01:17:57.399
<v Speaker 8>willing to be self less, not selfish. Selflessness not selfishness.

1264
01:17:57.520 --> 01:18:00.199
<v Speaker 8>And I think consciously we tend to.

1265
01:18:02.640 --> 01:18:07.560
<v Speaker 4>Talk to each other in derogatory tones because we know.

1266
01:18:07.720 --> 01:18:11.800
<v Speaker 8>And we're comfortable and where you know, it's it's something

1267
01:18:11.960 --> 01:18:13.479
<v Speaker 8>that you should already know.

1268
01:18:14.000 --> 01:18:17.079
<v Speaker 4>Or I like my tea heart, you like yours? Called

1269
01:18:17.560 --> 01:18:22.800
<v Speaker 4>what happened to compromisation? What happened to talk into one another?

1270
01:18:22.880 --> 01:18:25.439
<v Speaker 8>Cas and I talk very well In actual fact, I

1271
01:18:25.520 --> 01:18:28.279
<v Speaker 8>must say this gu Darth and I talk for hours

1272
01:18:28.439 --> 01:18:31.319
<v Speaker 8>on the phone, talking, talking, talking, But in the talking

1273
01:18:32.159 --> 01:18:37.560
<v Speaker 8>we make sure that we emphasize on the positive qualities,

1274
01:18:38.000 --> 01:18:41.439
<v Speaker 8>try to bring them out from one another. You we

1275
01:18:41.560 --> 01:18:44.880
<v Speaker 8>are not the same as everybody, each person. God has

1276
01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:48.880
<v Speaker 8>made us unique. But we have to learn to compromise,

1277
01:18:49.079 --> 01:18:52.960
<v Speaker 8>to be patient within the presence of another that we love,

1278
01:18:53.399 --> 01:18:55.920
<v Speaker 8>to be appreciative of some of the things that we

1279
01:18:56.119 --> 01:19:00.560
<v Speaker 8>don't like. But yet still we are able to toll them.

1280
01:19:00.600 --> 01:19:02.800
<v Speaker 8>We are able to give an ear, we are able

1281
01:19:02.880 --> 01:19:06.479
<v Speaker 8>to listen. That's primarily because we want to be able

1282
01:19:06.840 --> 01:19:09.600
<v Speaker 8>to have a happy relationship.

1283
01:19:10.239 --> 01:19:12.039
<v Speaker 4>We want it sanctified by God.

1284
01:19:12.159 --> 01:19:15.119
<v Speaker 8>We want it where angels like to hear or sing

1285
01:19:15.399 --> 01:19:19.640
<v Speaker 8>or celebrate, because two people have joined together as one

1286
01:19:20.159 --> 01:19:22.359
<v Speaker 8>and God has unified them together.

1287
01:19:22.880 --> 01:19:27.960
<v Speaker 4>But patience is important. Patients long sufferingness.

1288
01:19:28.039 --> 01:19:30.880
<v Speaker 8>We talk about long sufferingness in Galatians are going to

1289
01:19:30.920 --> 01:19:33.640
<v Speaker 8>bring out the fruit of the spirit again because most

1290
01:19:33.720 --> 01:19:35.319
<v Speaker 8>of us are not long suffering.

1291
01:19:35.920 --> 01:19:39.479
<v Speaker 4>But yet still the Bible inhibits us.

1292
01:19:39.479 --> 01:19:44.039
<v Speaker 8>All or guides us to have these nine characteristics as

1293
01:19:44.359 --> 01:19:46.000
<v Speaker 8>art of our temperament.

1294
01:19:46.720 --> 01:19:51.960
<v Speaker 4>Now, if Arthur and I aren't able to come to some.

1295
01:19:53.479 --> 01:19:56.920
<v Speaker 8>Agreement, we either say and God can come in here,

1296
01:19:57.000 --> 01:19:59.760
<v Speaker 8>we either say we talk about it a little bit

1297
01:19:59.800 --> 01:20:02.359
<v Speaker 8>more and then we say, well, let's come back to

1298
01:20:02.479 --> 01:20:06.600
<v Speaker 8>another time of how we can talk about this in

1299
01:20:06.760 --> 01:20:11.439
<v Speaker 8>more detail, because of course, sometimes conversations may get heated

1300
01:20:11.479 --> 01:20:15.399
<v Speaker 8>and one may feel inhibited because of what the other.

1301
01:20:15.359 --> 01:20:20.000
<v Speaker 4>One has said. But humility is very important in a

1302
01:20:20.119 --> 01:20:21.239
<v Speaker 4>marit or relationship.

1303
01:20:21.600 --> 01:20:24.000
<v Speaker 8>Just because you are in the right, or you may

1304
01:20:24.079 --> 01:20:26.359
<v Speaker 8>think you're in the right, doesn't mean to say that

1305
01:20:26.520 --> 01:20:29.960
<v Speaker 8>you cannot be humble in the presence of another. And

1306
01:20:30.119 --> 01:20:35.960
<v Speaker 8>so when we talk about being stable in a relationship

1307
01:20:36.279 --> 01:20:39.520
<v Speaker 8>or grappling on the foundations of not taking each other

1308
01:20:39.640 --> 01:20:44.800
<v Speaker 8>for granted, here we're talking about being able to become

1309
01:20:45.199 --> 01:20:48.439
<v Speaker 8>more patient. Am I patient with the other person that

1310
01:20:48.600 --> 01:20:52.079
<v Speaker 8>I am with? Or because I'm with that person every day?

1311
01:20:52.319 --> 01:20:55.399
<v Speaker 8>Am I taking them for granted? Or am I You

1312
01:20:55.560 --> 01:20:58.880
<v Speaker 8>have to start questioning yourself and trying to improve on

1313
01:20:59.199 --> 01:21:04.399
<v Speaker 8>areas by reflecting on what has transpired, because oftentimes we

1314
01:21:04.560 --> 01:21:06.000
<v Speaker 8>always look to the other person.

1315
01:21:06.159 --> 01:21:09.479
<v Speaker 4>Adam blamed Eve and so it went on down the ages,

1316
01:21:09.560 --> 01:21:11.159
<v Speaker 4>and we're still blaming one another.

1317
01:21:11.640 --> 01:21:17.840
<v Speaker 8>But how about taking responsibility for yourself? How about saying, Lord,

1318
01:21:17.920 --> 01:21:19.159
<v Speaker 8>what is it that I need?

1319
01:21:19.239 --> 01:21:21.159
<v Speaker 4>To improve. How can I improve?

1320
01:21:21.560 --> 01:21:23.800
<v Speaker 8>Please show me in your world, or please teach me

1321
01:21:24.279 --> 01:21:29.920
<v Speaker 8>via somebody else. I'll share this quickly now, my friends.

1322
01:21:30.039 --> 01:21:33.880
<v Speaker 8>When I was younger, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen or seven

1323
01:21:33.960 --> 01:21:39.039
<v Speaker 8>eight nine years older than me, because I wanted to

1324
01:21:39.199 --> 01:21:42.039
<v Speaker 8>learn what it is that I can do, I used

1325
01:21:42.039 --> 01:21:45.119
<v Speaker 8>to go to older people to ask them for wisdom

1326
01:21:45.159 --> 01:21:47.880
<v Speaker 8>and understanding in their own relationships.

1327
01:21:48.680 --> 01:21:51.039
<v Speaker 4>Has it had any bearing on my life today?

1328
01:21:51.119 --> 01:21:51.680
<v Speaker 8>Yes it has.

1329
01:21:52.760 --> 01:21:56.239
<v Speaker 4>Do I have experiences in the relationship that I'm in

1330
01:21:56.319 --> 01:21:56.800
<v Speaker 4>with Buffy?

1331
01:21:56.880 --> 01:21:57.439
<v Speaker 1>Yes I do.

1332
01:21:58.319 --> 01:22:00.479
<v Speaker 8>Do I go back to God and ask, how can

1333
01:22:00.560 --> 01:22:03.039
<v Speaker 8>I speak a little bit better? How can I have

1334
01:22:03.239 --> 01:22:07.720
<v Speaker 8>this teachable spirit? How can I have a better listening understanding?

1335
01:22:08.319 --> 01:22:12.319
<v Speaker 8>And I'm saying this today, Let's try not to take

1336
01:22:12.520 --> 01:22:17.159
<v Speaker 8>each other for granted. If we if we spend more

1337
01:22:17.279 --> 01:22:23.279
<v Speaker 8>time encouraging one another and being able to build each

1338
01:22:23.439 --> 01:22:24.720
<v Speaker 8>other up, there'll be.

1339
01:22:24.840 --> 01:22:28.239
<v Speaker 4>Less criticism, They'll be less hurt.

1340
01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:35.359
<v Speaker 8>There'll be more patience, more understanding, more resilience. So that

1341
01:22:36.000 --> 01:22:40.920
<v Speaker 8>we complete one another, We are strengthened by one another.

1342
01:22:41.359 --> 01:22:46.000
<v Speaker 8>We uphold one another so that both of us can

1343
01:22:46.239 --> 01:22:49.399
<v Speaker 8>walk together. That's my favorite, one of my favorite scriptures.

1344
01:22:49.720 --> 01:22:50.760
<v Speaker 4>Amus three to three.

1345
01:22:52.079 --> 01:22:58.119
<v Speaker 8>Can it's a question, can to walk together except they

1346
01:22:58.239 --> 01:23:01.399
<v Speaker 8>be agreed they have do you have to come to

1347
01:23:01.760 --> 01:23:05.600
<v Speaker 8>an agreement, a compromisation along the line somewhere and say, well,

1348
01:23:05.680 --> 01:23:08.239
<v Speaker 8>you know what for I think the other day I

1349
01:23:08.359 --> 01:23:11.039
<v Speaker 8>said to God, you know, we were talking about something,

1350
01:23:11.119 --> 01:23:15.319
<v Speaker 8>and I felt that, you know, the way of the

1351
01:23:15.840 --> 01:23:19.199
<v Speaker 8>of how the conversation went, moved more and inclined to

1352
01:23:19.439 --> 01:23:24.359
<v Speaker 8>his his desire to see it happen, and I had

1353
01:23:24.439 --> 01:23:26.600
<v Speaker 8>to sit back to myself and I had to honestly,

1354
01:23:26.840 --> 01:23:29.319
<v Speaker 8>you could ask him here. I had to say to myself,

1355
01:23:30.079 --> 01:23:33.039
<v Speaker 8>you know what, let's not just you know, disagree on

1356
01:23:33.159 --> 01:23:35.880
<v Speaker 8>this point. Let's pray and let's just move on. And

1357
01:23:35.960 --> 01:23:39.359
<v Speaker 8>that's how we did it practically, because I don't like

1358
01:23:39.560 --> 01:23:42.840
<v Speaker 8>fester in neither of this God in relationships, and I

1359
01:23:43.279 --> 01:23:47.720
<v Speaker 8>see a lot of relationships where we both are involved

1360
01:23:47.760 --> 01:23:52.720
<v Speaker 8>in there's a lot of lack of understanding or patient

1361
01:23:53.199 --> 01:23:57.359
<v Speaker 8>for one another. And I think when we are Christians,

1362
01:23:57.520 --> 01:24:01.960
<v Speaker 8>especially Adventists, we tend to we know the word be

1363
01:24:02.119 --> 01:24:07.640
<v Speaker 8>constructed by the Word, but we don't necessarily practically live

1364
01:24:07.720 --> 01:24:10.359
<v Speaker 8>out the word as it is. And we have to

1365
01:24:10.439 --> 01:24:15.439
<v Speaker 8>get to the stage whereby we we compromise in the

1366
01:24:15.560 --> 01:24:20.039
<v Speaker 8>sense so that it strengthens are better well beaten it.

1367
01:24:20.159 --> 01:24:25.560
<v Speaker 8>It strengthens our emotional intelligence, It strengthens our spiritual oneness

1368
01:24:26.279 --> 01:24:28.840
<v Speaker 8>with each other, immunity with christ.

1369
01:24:30.880 --> 01:24:31.880
<v Speaker 2>I went again.

1370
01:24:32.399 --> 01:24:32.880
<v Speaker 1>But I love that.

1371
01:24:33.239 --> 01:24:36.600
<v Speaker 7>But it's interesting that you said the last bit there

1372
01:24:36.600 --> 01:24:39.960
<v Speaker 7>about actually we know the word, and that's I suppose

1373
01:24:40.000 --> 01:24:42.359
<v Speaker 7>in some ways, you know we've all been talking. There

1374
01:24:42.439 --> 01:24:43.960
<v Speaker 7>is something in the back of my mind that's saying, yeah,

1375
01:24:44.000 --> 01:24:46.399
<v Speaker 7>that's all well and good in theory, but it is

1376
01:24:46.439 --> 01:24:47.359
<v Speaker 7>a practical things.

1377
01:24:47.439 --> 01:24:48.720
<v Speaker 1>What does that really look like?

1378
01:24:48.880 --> 01:24:53.479
<v Speaker 7>And actually, as you said, sometimes we don't necessarily practically

1379
01:24:53.520 --> 01:24:55.640
<v Speaker 7>live out the word. You know, I know and I

1380
01:24:55.720 --> 01:24:59.479
<v Speaker 7>can speak it, but sometimes actions be way lader than words,

1381
01:24:59.560 --> 01:25:02.000
<v Speaker 7>and actions are probably going to make a big difference.

1382
01:25:03.119 --> 01:25:05.880
<v Speaker 1>So that's yes, A really that's a really interesting point.

1383
01:25:06.199 --> 01:25:08.319
<v Speaker 1>Necessarily thought of it in that way, I'm Hillton.

1384
01:25:10.000 --> 01:25:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Can I get your permission to talk to those things?

1385
01:25:13.479 --> 01:25:16.760
<v Speaker 2>And you could give me three minutes so I could

1386
01:25:16.760 --> 01:25:19.239
<v Speaker 2>be on point. First of all, I must say that

1387
01:25:19.359 --> 01:25:23.720
<v Speaker 2>Geraldine and God, they are the epitome of what everything

1388
01:25:23.800 --> 01:25:27.800
<v Speaker 2>that we're talking about, even we're training, so they can

1389
01:25:27.920 --> 01:25:30.159
<v Speaker 2>live that kind of life. It's very easy for you know,

1390
01:25:30.279 --> 01:25:32.640
<v Speaker 2>the psychologists and the therapists and the counselor and the

1391
01:25:32.760 --> 01:25:36.520
<v Speaker 2>teacher to have that kind of relating and relationship because

1392
01:25:36.560 --> 01:25:41.000
<v Speaker 2>they are skilled in that. For us lesser mortals and

1393
01:25:41.319 --> 01:25:44.239
<v Speaker 2>those of us who have to grapple without that kind

1394
01:25:44.319 --> 01:25:49.600
<v Speaker 2>of high headed training and skill, I want to say,

1395
01:25:49.760 --> 01:25:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Zenyah that that marriage is actually a school, and I

1396
01:25:54.600 --> 01:25:59.319
<v Speaker 2>think it's the crucible that God ordains for us to

1397
01:25:59.600 --> 01:26:03.720
<v Speaker 2>pass through in order to develop the qualities and training

1398
01:26:03.840 --> 01:26:08.560
<v Speaker 2>that is required for us to become better Christians. So yes,

1399
01:26:08.640 --> 01:26:11.159
<v Speaker 2>I agree with you. It is a lot more challenging

1400
01:26:11.800 --> 01:26:17.119
<v Speaker 2>to extend grace and patience to those that we are

1401
01:26:17.279 --> 01:26:21.199
<v Speaker 2>closest to, but it is actually demanded of us. But

1402
01:26:21.880 --> 01:26:24.720
<v Speaker 2>if you really want to become better in anything, take

1403
01:26:24.800 --> 01:26:31.279
<v Speaker 2>any skill, any whether it's sports or singing, whatever we

1404
01:26:31.600 --> 01:26:33.840
<v Speaker 2>want to become better in, we have to go through

1405
01:26:33.880 --> 01:26:37.359
<v Speaker 2>the hard knocks, the grind. If you want to develop muscles,

1406
01:26:37.840 --> 01:26:41.079
<v Speaker 2>you actually have to train your muscles. If you want

1407
01:26:41.119 --> 01:26:43.800
<v Speaker 2>to become anything, it's very difficult. And as you go

1408
01:26:43.920 --> 01:26:46.920
<v Speaker 2>through the grind, if you want to love, if you

1409
01:26:47.000 --> 01:26:50.800
<v Speaker 2>want patience, then God is going to allow you to

1410
01:26:50.960 --> 01:26:56.560
<v Speaker 2>come up against circumstances that you have to actually practiced patients.

1411
01:26:57.119 --> 01:27:00.520
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's more than any other institution in

1412
01:27:00.640 --> 01:27:05.279
<v Speaker 2>the world, that marriage or a family is that one

1413
01:27:05.439 --> 01:27:09.600
<v Speaker 2>institution that helps us all to develop the graces of

1414
01:27:10.039 --> 01:27:13.640
<v Speaker 2>the fruit of the spirit. You know, cristis that you

1415
01:27:13.760 --> 01:27:16.520
<v Speaker 2>must forgive seven times. I don't know any other place

1416
01:27:16.960 --> 01:27:21.199
<v Speaker 2>where you have to practice that, particularly marriage. I could

1417
01:27:21.239 --> 01:27:24.560
<v Speaker 2>tell you so, married person, you don't have to you know,

1418
01:27:24.720 --> 01:27:28.079
<v Speaker 2>it is a million times you have to forgive in

1419
01:27:28.239 --> 01:27:31.680
<v Speaker 2>terms of patients. When you have a child crying the

1420
01:27:31.880 --> 01:27:34.119
<v Speaker 2>head of at two o'clock in the night, when you

1421
01:27:34.199 --> 01:27:36.520
<v Speaker 2>have to get up to go to work. Angela, you're

1422
01:27:36.600 --> 01:27:38.439
<v Speaker 2>spared of that. I don't know anything you have children,

1423
01:27:38.880 --> 01:27:42.640
<v Speaker 2>But when you need to try to calm a child,

1424
01:27:42.760 --> 01:27:45.239
<v Speaker 2>or you have a teenager in your house who's talking

1425
01:27:45.359 --> 01:27:48.000
<v Speaker 2>back to you, I could tell you from the Caribbean,

1426
01:27:48.479 --> 01:27:52.479
<v Speaker 2>your smoke is coming out to your nose and your age,

1427
01:27:53.319 --> 01:27:57.560
<v Speaker 2>and God is requiring of you to be patient and

1428
01:27:57.680 --> 01:28:02.600
<v Speaker 2>to be loving. And I think to respond to your question, yes,

1429
01:28:02.800 --> 01:28:05.800
<v Speaker 2>it is much more challenging to deal with. You know,

1430
01:28:05.840 --> 01:28:08.840
<v Speaker 2>It's all right to be kind to the stranger out there,

1431
01:28:09.119 --> 01:28:12.359
<v Speaker 2>give money to the person on the street to you know,

1432
01:28:12.600 --> 01:28:16.039
<v Speaker 2>be loving and tender hearted to someone that you live

1433
01:28:16.199 --> 01:28:20.119
<v Speaker 2>there and you come back home. But your own family,

1434
01:28:20.840 --> 01:28:26.039
<v Speaker 2>God is requiring us to develop those skills, and Lanhy says,

1435
01:28:26.079 --> 01:28:30.920
<v Speaker 2>it's nicely that your family, the home is the first

1436
01:28:31.199 --> 01:28:35.560
<v Speaker 2>missionary field, so you know that aside, can I speak

1437
01:28:35.680 --> 01:28:38.479
<v Speaker 2>quickly on the form of things that we were speaking

1438
01:28:38.520 --> 01:28:41.560
<v Speaker 2>about in terms of practically how do we go about

1439
01:28:42.000 --> 01:28:45.520
<v Speaker 2>preparing ourselves? So we have said a lot. One of

1440
01:28:45.600 --> 01:28:48.439
<v Speaker 2>the simple exercises I get people who come to me

1441
01:28:49.359 --> 01:28:54.199
<v Speaker 2>it is simply to think about the type of family

1442
01:28:54.399 --> 01:28:59.319
<v Speaker 2>or home that they want to have, to projecting the future,

1443
01:29:00.199 --> 01:29:03.520
<v Speaker 2>what type of home, what type of family, What type

1444
01:29:03.560 --> 01:29:07.920
<v Speaker 2>of environment would you like to have? And when you project,

1445
01:29:08.279 --> 01:29:11.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, think about the details of it. Think about

1446
01:29:13.079 --> 01:29:16.159
<v Speaker 2>what kind of atmosphere you would want you in your home,

1447
01:29:16.640 --> 01:29:19.359
<v Speaker 2>think about how you would want to treat your children.

1448
01:29:19.479 --> 01:29:22.239
<v Speaker 2>And sometimes I e can't give them the exercise of

1449
01:29:22.399 --> 01:29:25.800
<v Speaker 2>think thinking about a day in the life of their

1450
01:29:25.880 --> 01:29:30.239
<v Speaker 2>family and maybe a Sunday morning or Sabbath morning. What's

1451
01:29:30.319 --> 01:29:32.479
<v Speaker 2>going to happen from the first thing, there's wake up,

1452
01:29:32.800 --> 01:29:35.159
<v Speaker 2>go through the details. Who's going to get the children up,

1453
01:29:35.359 --> 01:29:38.359
<v Speaker 2>who's going to have prayer. Who is going to prepare breakfast?

1454
01:29:38.399 --> 01:29:43.119
<v Speaker 2>For kind of breakfast? I just sorry, help them to

1455
01:29:43.399 --> 01:29:48.159
<v Speaker 2>chart the type to the home that they want to have,

1456
01:29:48.960 --> 01:29:53.920
<v Speaker 2>and then we reverse engineer that what type of person

1457
01:29:54.000 --> 01:29:54.760
<v Speaker 2>do you need to be.

1458
01:29:56.279 --> 01:29:56.800
<v Speaker 17>To have that?

1459
01:29:57.960 --> 01:30:00.880
<v Speaker 2>And what type of spouse do you need to create that?

1460
01:30:01.840 --> 01:30:05.479
<v Speaker 2>And I'll just leand and end with this by saying

1461
01:30:05.600 --> 01:30:09.720
<v Speaker 2>that marriage don't you don't really fall into marriage. You

1462
01:30:09.800 --> 01:30:13.159
<v Speaker 2>don't walk into marriage. You don't stumbling, you know, stumbling

1463
01:30:13.239 --> 01:30:17.560
<v Speaker 2>to love. Love is actually a creation, or more better

1464
01:30:17.680 --> 01:30:22.800
<v Speaker 2>yet a core creation you created. And yes, there are

1465
01:30:22.880 --> 01:30:25.760
<v Speaker 2>lots of places that we are informed about love. And

1466
01:30:25.840 --> 01:30:28.800
<v Speaker 2>if you talk to the teacher God, you know, many

1467
01:30:28.880 --> 01:30:31.880
<v Speaker 2>teachers they teach didactically. They stand up in front and

1468
01:30:33.760 --> 01:30:38.279
<v Speaker 2>just give knowledge out. But human beings learn more through

1469
01:30:38.319 --> 01:30:43.840
<v Speaker 2>what we call osmosis. We learn through being exposed to

1470
01:30:44.800 --> 01:30:47.760
<v Speaker 2>and many of us in our family of origin are

1471
01:30:48.159 --> 01:30:53.199
<v Speaker 2>exposed to this what we call dysfunctionality. Many of us

1472
01:30:53.279 --> 01:30:57.199
<v Speaker 2>grow up in dysfunctional environment. I think it was Petro

1473
01:30:57.359 --> 01:30:59.640
<v Speaker 2>was saying that he came from a single parent home,

1474
01:31:00.119 --> 01:31:03.840
<v Speaker 2>whereas his wife was from a two parent home, and

1475
01:31:04.600 --> 01:31:08.840
<v Speaker 2>the template that they had when they came together clashed

1476
01:31:09.399 --> 01:31:13.199
<v Speaker 2>because the expectation was different, but yet they were able

1477
01:31:13.279 --> 01:31:17.079
<v Speaker 2>to navigate that. And I think the last thing I

1478
01:31:17.119 --> 01:31:20.520
<v Speaker 2>would like to say is that you need to be

1479
01:31:20.640 --> 01:31:23.880
<v Speaker 2>able to have two things. You need to have to

1480
01:31:23.960 --> 01:31:26.880
<v Speaker 2>be able to have what it be called binocular vision,

1481
01:31:28.079 --> 01:31:30.600
<v Speaker 2>and you need to be able to use what is

1482
01:31:30.680 --> 01:31:36.000
<v Speaker 2>called attunement. You need to attune to the other person.

1483
01:31:36.640 --> 01:31:41.159
<v Speaker 2>I think mothers are very good at this because they're

1484
01:31:41.199 --> 01:31:44.880
<v Speaker 2>attuned to the child even if the child is when

1485
01:31:44.920 --> 01:31:48.640
<v Speaker 2>the child is crying, child can't talk, but mothers have

1486
01:31:48.800 --> 01:31:53.159
<v Speaker 2>this intuitive thing as trying to sense what is actually

1487
01:31:53.279 --> 01:31:56.760
<v Speaker 2>going on within that child. And I think we need

1488
01:31:56.880 --> 01:32:01.359
<v Speaker 2>to bring that to our adult relationship and look beyond

1489
01:32:01.760 --> 01:32:07.359
<v Speaker 2>the presenting behavior. Maybe I should do right here.

1490
01:32:10.479 --> 01:32:12.119
<v Speaker 7>As you were speaking there, I was just thinking, thank

1491
01:32:12.159 --> 01:32:15.520
<v Speaker 7>you for that, Hilton. I'm just kind of come to

1492
01:32:15.760 --> 01:32:21.079
<v Speaker 7>Zena and Shade as both of you fairly newly married

1493
01:32:21.399 --> 01:32:23.039
<v Speaker 7>in the sense of a couple of years. And I

1494
01:32:23.079 --> 01:32:24.960
<v Speaker 7>guess Shadow want to come to you because you've when

1495
01:32:24.960 --> 01:32:27.119
<v Speaker 7>you introduced yourself, you were saying that you'll be mad

1496
01:32:27.159 --> 01:32:28.760
<v Speaker 7>for a couple of years, and actually it's been going

1497
01:32:28.840 --> 01:32:31.079
<v Speaker 7>really well. So some of the things that have come

1498
01:32:31.159 --> 01:32:34.079
<v Speaker 7>up has some of that resonated with you as things

1499
01:32:34.159 --> 01:32:36.119
<v Speaker 7>that you've done or is there anything that you think, Actually,

1500
01:32:36.840 --> 01:32:40.000
<v Speaker 7>this is what's happened in our say, our your yours

1501
01:32:40.039 --> 01:32:43.359
<v Speaker 7>and your husband's relationship that has helped to create a

1502
01:32:43.439 --> 01:32:46.920
<v Speaker 7>successful word. As you said, you know, it's been take

1503
01:32:46.960 --> 01:32:48.760
<v Speaker 7>you use the word easy or is it that you

1504
01:32:48.840 --> 01:32:50.880
<v Speaker 7>asked the question is it really that easy kind of thing?

1505
01:32:51.560 --> 01:32:53.199
<v Speaker 7>But some of the things that have been shared, has

1506
01:32:53.239 --> 01:32:54.159
<v Speaker 7>that resonated with you?

1507
01:32:56.399 --> 01:33:01.239
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, a lot of it resonated with me. I think

1508
01:33:01.399 --> 01:33:02.039
<v Speaker 4>more from a.

1509
01:33:04.119 --> 01:33:07.159
<v Speaker 10>What's going to be further along the road in terms

1510
01:33:07.199 --> 01:33:08.840
<v Speaker 10>of like what is to come, like a lot of

1511
01:33:08.920 --> 01:33:12.079
<v Speaker 10>advice and a lot of like points that I can

1512
01:33:12.119 --> 01:33:14.920
<v Speaker 10>take and be like, okay when this arises then because

1513
01:33:14.960 --> 01:33:18.159
<v Speaker 10>I'm like Geraldine says, her and her husband pray and

1514
01:33:18.199 --> 01:33:19.279
<v Speaker 10>they're like, we'll deal with it.

1515
01:33:19.479 --> 01:33:21.279
<v Speaker 4>We'll talk about this later. And it's something that me

1516
01:33:21.319 --> 01:33:22.199
<v Speaker 4>and my husband does.

1517
01:33:22.159 --> 01:33:24.960
<v Speaker 10>Like even when we have a little disagreement, because we

1518
01:33:25.000 --> 01:33:28.439
<v Speaker 10>don't have massive arguments like I would have would have

1519
01:33:28.479 --> 01:33:32.239
<v Speaker 10>had it in the past. More because I now understand

1520
01:33:32.279 --> 01:33:36.359
<v Speaker 10>my role because I'm very strong minded, very very vocal.

1521
01:33:36.640 --> 01:33:39.359
<v Speaker 4>You know, he is not quite so vocal, but he's

1522
01:33:39.439 --> 01:33:40.920
<v Speaker 4>quite strong, but not so vocal.

1523
01:33:41.000 --> 01:33:45.680
<v Speaker 10>So me understanding my role that has minimized the way

1524
01:33:45.760 --> 01:33:49.600
<v Speaker 10>we interact on a conflict level doesn't make sense. But

1525
01:33:50.680 --> 01:33:54.279
<v Speaker 10>sometimes we're upset with each other, I'm just like, I'm

1526
01:33:54.319 --> 01:33:56.399
<v Speaker 10>not going to talk, and he'll be like, right, that's it.

1527
01:33:56.479 --> 01:33:59.800
<v Speaker 10>We're praying, come, let's go so and I'm just like,

1528
01:34:00.039 --> 01:34:02.319
<v Speaker 10>oh God, I'm just like, okay, let's I'm not going

1529
01:34:02.359 --> 01:34:04.840
<v Speaker 10>to say I'm not going to pray. So we're praying,

1530
01:34:04.880 --> 01:34:07.359
<v Speaker 10>and you will start talking to God and you like, Lord,

1531
01:34:07.439 --> 01:34:09.319
<v Speaker 10>please help me and my wife to understand each other,

1532
01:34:09.840 --> 01:34:12.119
<v Speaker 10>Please give us grace. And I'm just like, he's talking

1533
01:34:12.199 --> 01:34:14.680
<v Speaker 10>to me when he's talking to God. And after someone

1534
01:34:14.800 --> 01:34:16.920
<v Speaker 10>prays with you like that, you're just like, Okay, how

1535
01:34:17.000 --> 01:34:19.560
<v Speaker 10>do I then stay angry? How do I allow the

1536
01:34:19.640 --> 01:34:22.600
<v Speaker 10>devil to keep this anger here instead of us talking

1537
01:34:22.680 --> 01:34:23.079
<v Speaker 10>about it?

1538
01:34:23.479 --> 01:34:24.840
<v Speaker 4>And what I mean, like, it's easy.

1539
01:34:25.119 --> 01:34:28.840
<v Speaker 10>I mean a lot of all my other relationships, well

1540
01:34:29.079 --> 01:34:32.039
<v Speaker 10>it's not that many, but my my my previous relationships,

1541
01:34:33.079 --> 01:34:34.159
<v Speaker 10>I always found.

1542
01:34:33.920 --> 01:34:35.880
<v Speaker 4>That because I didn't really know.

1543
01:34:37.399 --> 01:34:39.960
<v Speaker 10>Who the other person was, we had a lot of

1544
01:34:40.039 --> 01:34:47.000
<v Speaker 10>uncomfortable silences. So it was when I started to understand

1545
01:34:47.039 --> 01:34:49.880
<v Speaker 10>what I wanted because I feel like what my last

1546
01:34:49.920 --> 01:34:52.039
<v Speaker 10>relationship before I got married, I felt like I was

1547
01:34:52.159 --> 01:34:54.079
<v Speaker 10>going down a rabbit hole of trying to be what

1548
01:34:54.199 --> 01:34:56.680
<v Speaker 10>the other person wanted me to be in opposed to

1549
01:34:56.800 --> 01:34:59.920
<v Speaker 10>what God designed me to be and who I needed

1550
01:35:00.079 --> 01:35:03.479
<v Speaker 10>to be in my relationship. I found that in retrospect,

1551
01:35:03.479 --> 01:35:05.800
<v Speaker 10>I was losing myself a little because I was always

1552
01:35:05.880 --> 01:35:08.439
<v Speaker 10>compromising on what they wanted to do and it wasn't

1553
01:35:08.560 --> 01:35:12.560
<v Speaker 10>very good. So now I'm like when I was when

1554
01:35:12.600 --> 01:35:13.720
<v Speaker 10>I came out of that relationship.

1555
01:35:13.800 --> 01:35:16.680
<v Speaker 4>Then I was like, what does God want me to be?

1556
01:35:17.359 --> 01:35:19.279
<v Speaker 10>That was my first question to myself because I was

1557
01:35:19.359 --> 01:35:21.840
<v Speaker 10>just like, I don't understand why I'm doing it. I

1558
01:35:21.880 --> 01:35:24.840
<v Speaker 10>don't understand I keep choosing situations that I'm not healthy,

1559
01:35:24.920 --> 01:35:27.399
<v Speaker 10>that I'm not good, that mentally have been in a

1560
01:35:27.479 --> 01:35:27.920
<v Speaker 10>bad place.

1561
01:35:28.000 --> 01:35:29.520
<v Speaker 4>So what does God want?

1562
01:35:29.720 --> 01:35:30.520
<v Speaker 1>What do I need to be?

1563
01:35:30.760 --> 01:35:33.039
<v Speaker 4>I spoke to some of my older mother.

1564
01:35:32.960 --> 01:35:35.359
<v Speaker 10>Figures and they gave me a lot of good advice

1565
01:35:35.399 --> 01:35:38.760
<v Speaker 10>to be like, figure out what God has purposed for you.

1566
01:35:39.199 --> 01:35:42.039
<v Speaker 10>And when I spoke about understanding my role, I then

1567
01:35:42.079 --> 01:35:43.960
<v Speaker 10>started to understand, Okay, this is who I'm meant to

1568
01:35:44.000 --> 01:35:47.840
<v Speaker 10>be in my relationship and then I when I was

1569
01:35:47.920 --> 01:35:50.399
<v Speaker 10>having conversations with me, but I threw the hard questions

1570
01:35:50.520 --> 01:35:52.479
<v Speaker 10>out because I was just like, okay, but what do

1571
01:35:52.560 --> 01:35:53.479
<v Speaker 10>you think about marriage?

1572
01:35:53.960 --> 01:35:56.319
<v Speaker 4>How are we gonna? I'm gonna pray with the children?

1573
01:35:56.399 --> 01:35:56.920
<v Speaker 4>Are we gonna?

1574
01:35:57.239 --> 01:36:00.319
<v Speaker 10>So like we had to have these hard comms stations

1575
01:36:00.319 --> 01:36:03.000
<v Speaker 10>at the beginning. So when I'm like, it's easy, it's

1576
01:36:03.039 --> 01:36:05.800
<v Speaker 10>easy in the in the sense that because I knew

1577
01:36:05.800 --> 01:36:09.279
<v Speaker 10>why I wanted and where I was going myself, then

1578
01:36:09.520 --> 01:36:11.399
<v Speaker 10>I picked the right person, if.

1579
01:36:11.279 --> 01:36:11.840
<v Speaker 6>That makes sense.

1580
01:36:12.119 --> 01:36:14.880
<v Speaker 10>So now we have the silences where like we're together

1581
01:36:14.920 --> 01:36:17.479
<v Speaker 10>in a room and we don't have to talk, or

1582
01:36:17.520 --> 01:36:19.560
<v Speaker 10>we don't have to fill it with a date, or

1583
01:36:19.600 --> 01:36:21.399
<v Speaker 10>we don't have to fill it with something to do,

1584
01:36:21.840 --> 01:36:24.119
<v Speaker 10>you know, because we're comfortable.

1585
01:36:23.680 --> 01:36:26.520
<v Speaker 4>In this space, you know where my other relationships were

1586
01:36:26.560 --> 01:36:29.439
<v Speaker 4>hard because I'm just like, Okay, we haven't talked in

1587
01:36:29.479 --> 01:36:31.600
<v Speaker 4>ten minutes. I need to say something, do you know

1588
01:36:31.680 --> 01:36:33.680
<v Speaker 4>what I mean? If that makes sense. So and we

1589
01:36:33.840 --> 01:36:35.720
<v Speaker 4>understand we've been friends for a long time.

1590
01:36:35.960 --> 01:36:39.119
<v Speaker 10>It's weird because again, friendship is very important in your

1591
01:36:39.159 --> 01:36:41.680
<v Speaker 10>relationship because the honeymoon greer is going to die off

1592
01:36:41.720 --> 01:36:45.800
<v Speaker 10>eventually and then you're going to have to communicate, not

1593
01:36:46.119 --> 01:36:49.199
<v Speaker 10>with the butterflies and stuff, but as two individuals trying

1594
01:36:49.239 --> 01:36:54.079
<v Speaker 10>to come together. So having very similar likes and we're

1595
01:36:54.279 --> 01:36:56.760
<v Speaker 10>very opposite. I'm very if you meet us in like,

1596
01:36:56.880 --> 01:36:59.079
<v Speaker 10>I don't know if you notice aatistics where he's very.

1597
01:36:59.039 --> 01:37:02.239
<v Speaker 4>Quite doesn't really where I'm just like, yeah, so, but

1598
01:37:02.319 --> 01:37:02.680
<v Speaker 4>I had.

1599
01:37:02.600 --> 01:37:05.239
<v Speaker 10>To understand that even in silence, he's saying a lot

1600
01:37:05.720 --> 01:37:07.760
<v Speaker 10>and I had to understand that, you know what I mean.

1601
01:37:07.880 --> 01:37:10.039
<v Speaker 10>So I'm like, when we have conflict, I'm like, we

1602
01:37:10.119 --> 01:37:12.359
<v Speaker 10>need to talk about this, and he's like, I need

1603
01:37:12.840 --> 01:37:14.600
<v Speaker 10>just he needs to go over it in his head

1604
01:37:14.640 --> 01:37:15.119
<v Speaker 10>and when he.

1605
01:37:15.199 --> 01:37:17.840
<v Speaker 4>Comes back, he comes up with very profound solutions.

1606
01:37:18.159 --> 01:37:20.439
<v Speaker 10>But I'm just like that I needed hearing our where

1607
01:37:20.479 --> 01:37:24.520
<v Speaker 10>He's like, so, I guess it's compassion, it's understanding each other.

1608
01:37:24.720 --> 01:37:27.439
<v Speaker 10>It's and that's why I say it's easy because I'm

1609
01:37:27.640 --> 01:37:31.800
<v Speaker 10>in this new I'm in this marriage understanding my role

1610
01:37:32.000 --> 01:37:35.279
<v Speaker 10>and understanding how to communicate instead of just being what

1611
01:37:35.399 --> 01:37:38.119
<v Speaker 10>the other person wanted you to be, because that makes sense.

1612
01:37:38.520 --> 01:37:42.479
<v Speaker 10>But I understand what God like, I understand the descience

1613
01:37:42.520 --> 01:37:46.520
<v Speaker 10>for marriage. I understand if there is conflict, if there

1614
01:37:46.600 --> 01:37:50.119
<v Speaker 10>is an issue, what is my role, you know what

1615
01:37:50.319 --> 01:37:54.119
<v Speaker 10>am I? And again understanding your role and how it's

1616
01:37:54.159 --> 01:37:55.760
<v Speaker 10>going to work in the twenty first century, and I

1617
01:37:55.840 --> 01:37:58.359
<v Speaker 10>think a lot of young people don't. The society doesn't

1618
01:37:59.279 --> 01:38:03.000
<v Speaker 10>allow us to understand the roles. It gives us a

1619
01:38:03.079 --> 01:38:04.880
<v Speaker 10>template of what we're supposed to be and what we're

1620
01:38:04.920 --> 01:38:07.640
<v Speaker 10>supposed to look like. And God has given that to

1621
01:38:07.760 --> 01:38:09.800
<v Speaker 10>us already. And the only way you're going to know

1622
01:38:10.199 --> 01:38:12.840
<v Speaker 10>if you read the Bible, if you read the literature,

1623
01:38:13.119 --> 01:38:16.680
<v Speaker 10>if you have conversations with Christian couples that have been

1624
01:38:16.920 --> 01:38:19.760
<v Speaker 10>in situations, and they will tell you to go and progress.

1625
01:38:19.880 --> 01:38:21.520
<v Speaker 10>When people talk to me that, I'll be like, girl,

1626
01:38:21.760 --> 01:38:23.720
<v Speaker 10>you need to read the Bible. You need to go

1627
01:38:23.800 --> 01:38:25.800
<v Speaker 10>and find out what God wants you to be, what

1628
01:38:25.960 --> 01:38:29.319
<v Speaker 10>God has designed for you to be in your relationship.

1629
01:38:29.680 --> 01:38:31.399
<v Speaker 10>And that's the only way it's going to be. I

1630
01:38:31.520 --> 01:38:35.000
<v Speaker 10>have my niece, she's nineteen, she's living with us. She's

1631
01:38:35.359 --> 01:38:37.640
<v Speaker 10>now in a space where when she's in college, a

1632
01:38:37.720 --> 01:38:41.800
<v Speaker 10>lot of her peers have boyfriends. She doesn't have a boyfriend,

1633
01:38:41.840 --> 01:38:44.640
<v Speaker 10>but she's in the space of thinking, Okay, eventually, Auntie,

1634
01:38:44.920 --> 01:38:48.680
<v Speaker 10>how do I then navigate this. I'm having to understand

1635
01:38:48.880 --> 01:38:50.479
<v Speaker 10>what I'm supposed to do to then be able to

1636
01:38:50.520 --> 01:38:52.479
<v Speaker 10>give her. My mom never gave me that advice, so

1637
01:38:52.520 --> 01:38:53.960
<v Speaker 10>I had to find this all out on my own

1638
01:38:54.399 --> 01:38:56.920
<v Speaker 10>talking to older people as well. So when I say

1639
01:38:56.920 --> 01:38:59.840
<v Speaker 10>it's easy, I mean it's easy only because I know

1640
01:39:00.199 --> 01:39:02.880
<v Speaker 10>understand what I am supposed to do, what I want

1641
01:39:03.000 --> 01:39:05.359
<v Speaker 10>to meet, and what I'm supposed to be for him,

1642
01:39:05.399 --> 01:39:07.079
<v Speaker 10>and he understands what he's supposed to.

1643
01:39:07.039 --> 01:39:09.199
<v Speaker 4>Be for me as well. So that's what I'm meant

1644
01:39:09.239 --> 01:39:09.840
<v Speaker 4>by it's easy.

1645
01:39:10.159 --> 01:39:12.479
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, And I think it it's key what you're saying

1646
01:39:12.520 --> 01:39:14.079
<v Speaker 7>there as well, because we talked a little bit about

1647
01:39:14.119 --> 01:39:17.279
<v Speaker 7>how we started by talking about how we work on ourselves,

1648
01:39:17.720 --> 01:39:20.520
<v Speaker 7>and I think it is that balance between you know,

1649
01:39:20.600 --> 01:39:23.359
<v Speaker 7>your own personal development and your own growth, and then

1650
01:39:23.439 --> 01:39:25.560
<v Speaker 7>that impacting the way in which you are having your

1651
01:39:25.640 --> 01:39:28.640
<v Speaker 7>relationships and how you go back. And as you said,

1652
01:39:28.680 --> 01:39:32.279
<v Speaker 7>you've taken guidance and advice from other people, those older

1653
01:39:32.359 --> 01:39:36.279
<v Speaker 7>mothers of older fathers as well, maybe you know, to

1654
01:39:36.319 --> 01:39:38.560
<v Speaker 7>actually guide you, which is definitely sorry.

1655
01:39:38.640 --> 01:39:40.439
<v Speaker 10>Can I also say something as well, I'm so sorry

1656
01:39:41.039 --> 01:39:42.880
<v Speaker 10>what I did want to say when I talk to

1657
01:39:43.439 --> 01:39:46.279
<v Speaker 10>the older people in our community, the people that commented

1658
01:39:46.319 --> 01:39:48.199
<v Speaker 10>the saloon, the people at church, people that are me,

1659
01:39:48.479 --> 01:39:51.520
<v Speaker 10>just all the folks that I'm married for for fifty years.

1660
01:39:52.119 --> 01:39:55.760
<v Speaker 10>Whatever they do advise me. And I started reading the Bible.

1661
01:39:55.840 --> 01:39:58.239
<v Speaker 10>It's right in there, so that's what I mean, like

1662
01:39:58.319 --> 01:40:03.920
<v Speaker 10>it's there. But my generation, the younger generation, is just like, we.

1663
01:40:03.960 --> 01:40:04.640
<v Speaker 12>Don't want to read.

1664
01:40:05.680 --> 01:40:07.399
<v Speaker 10>I listened to a lot of podcasts. I listen to

1665
01:40:07.439 --> 01:40:09.119
<v Speaker 10>a lot of books and stuff, but you have to

1666
01:40:09.199 --> 01:40:11.600
<v Speaker 10>read it for yourself. But it doesn't resonate. You should

1667
01:40:11.640 --> 01:40:13.520
<v Speaker 10>think that this older persons just say that, and that's

1668
01:40:13.560 --> 01:40:16.560
<v Speaker 10>not really that. It goes, well, we're coming from reject

1669
01:40:16.560 --> 01:40:18.560
<v Speaker 10>They're coming from a generation where they read the Bible

1670
01:40:18.680 --> 01:40:20.760
<v Speaker 10>and they have the old school template.

1671
01:40:20.880 --> 01:40:23.000
<v Speaker 4>But it's still the present day template.

1672
01:40:23.039 --> 01:40:25.000
<v Speaker 10>It's just we have to figure out how it works

1673
01:40:25.039 --> 01:40:27.680
<v Speaker 10>for us in this generation because every single piece of

1674
01:40:27.720 --> 01:40:30.960
<v Speaker 10>advice I've gone, I've read it in the Bible at

1675
01:40:31.000 --> 01:40:33.920
<v Speaker 10>some point. Do you understand because it is there. God

1676
01:40:34.039 --> 01:40:36.560
<v Speaker 10>has given us the template. We go back to creation,

1677
01:40:36.720 --> 01:40:38.800
<v Speaker 10>We go back to dunderneath what was the world.

1678
01:40:38.920 --> 01:40:40.279
<v Speaker 4>Adam had his purpose.

1679
01:40:40.319 --> 01:40:42.560
<v Speaker 10>You can't be with a man who doesn't know his purpose.

1680
01:40:43.000 --> 01:40:47.600
<v Speaker 10>Then you're now acting in your masculine energy and you're leading,

1681
01:40:47.680 --> 01:40:50.199
<v Speaker 10>and he's uncomfortable, and there's a lot of conflict because.

1682
01:40:50.000 --> 01:40:51.039
<v Speaker 4>No one knows what they're doing.

1683
01:40:51.600 --> 01:40:55.560
<v Speaker 10>So it's about us as individuals going back and having

1684
01:40:55.600 --> 01:40:57.840
<v Speaker 10>a partner that is happy to walk with you. And

1685
01:40:57.960 --> 01:41:01.159
<v Speaker 10>we might be on different levels when it comes to

1686
01:41:01.520 --> 01:41:04.279
<v Speaker 10>or spiritual growth and or relationship with God, but we're

1687
01:41:04.319 --> 01:41:07.880
<v Speaker 10>both walking along the same path. And it's about us

1688
01:41:07.960 --> 01:41:10.000
<v Speaker 10>going back because right now we're reading the Adventuge of

1689
01:41:10.439 --> 01:41:11.039
<v Speaker 10>great book.

1690
01:41:11.479 --> 01:41:12.880
<v Speaker 4>I read it a couple of years ago, but I

1691
01:41:12.960 --> 01:41:13.279
<v Speaker 4>read it.

1692
01:41:13.479 --> 01:41:14.239
<v Speaker 2>With like.

1693
01:41:15.960 --> 01:41:18.199
<v Speaker 10>Blinkers on my eyes, if that makes sense. Now I'm

1694
01:41:18.239 --> 01:41:20.479
<v Speaker 10>reading it with a different mindset. I'm in the marriage,

1695
01:41:20.479 --> 01:41:22.520
<v Speaker 10>so I'm trying to understand it a bit better, and

1696
01:41:22.640 --> 01:41:25.760
<v Speaker 10>this book has a lot of insight into you know.

1697
01:41:26.479 --> 01:41:30.399
<v Speaker 10>But she's again, it's biblical principle, so once you go

1698
01:41:30.520 --> 01:41:33.479
<v Speaker 10>back to the Bible, she's just making it very practical

1699
01:41:33.520 --> 01:41:37.159
<v Speaker 10>and even in today, the twenty first century, it's applicable.

1700
01:41:37.319 --> 01:41:40.159
<v Speaker 10>We can put that into as young people. It tells

1701
01:41:40.239 --> 01:41:43.640
<v Speaker 10>you how to date, how to then be your role

1702
01:41:43.720 --> 01:41:47.319
<v Speaker 10>and make your husband understand your role because he's listening

1703
01:41:47.399 --> 01:41:49.159
<v Speaker 10>and he understands what he should be looking for, and

1704
01:41:49.239 --> 01:41:50.880
<v Speaker 10>you understand what you do you get one trying to

1705
01:41:50.920 --> 01:41:56.000
<v Speaker 10>say so, it's about personal government, definitely, and about communicating.

1706
01:41:55.399 --> 01:41:56.159
<v Speaker 4>What you want.

1707
01:41:56.520 --> 01:41:58.479
<v Speaker 10>But if you don't know what you want, then you

1708
01:41:58.560 --> 01:42:01.560
<v Speaker 10>can't communicate that and you end up and then you

1709
01:42:01.760 --> 01:42:05.720
<v Speaker 10>end up in somewhere that you're being pulled further away from.

1710
01:42:05.600 --> 01:42:08.960
<v Speaker 4>God like I was, and you lose yourself as well.

1711
01:42:10.239 --> 01:42:10.399
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1712
01:42:12.279 --> 01:42:15.199
<v Speaker 11>I just want to add, I just want to add

1713
01:42:15.199 --> 01:42:21.159
<v Speaker 11>another reality in terms of counseling, in terms of getting help.

1714
01:42:22.840 --> 01:42:26.720
<v Speaker 11>While yes, there is a great responsibility for us as

1715
01:42:26.800 --> 01:42:32.439
<v Speaker 11>individuals to develop to know or purpose, have a goal

1716
01:42:32.600 --> 01:42:37.680
<v Speaker 11>and so on, we're not perfect and sometimes we may

1717
01:42:37.760 --> 01:42:42.279
<v Speaker 11>hit a ditch, we may something might hit us, and

1718
01:42:43.800 --> 01:42:47.560
<v Speaker 11>we have to also train our minds to accept help,

1719
01:42:48.159 --> 01:42:53.039
<v Speaker 11>to accept that hey, I cannot do it by myself.

1720
01:42:53.960 --> 01:42:56.720
<v Speaker 12>And I'm not talking about help from our a.

1721
01:42:56.880 --> 01:43:00.680
<v Speaker 11>Friend or the friend or the wife or husband, but

1722
01:43:00.720 --> 01:43:05.479
<v Speaker 11>I'm talking about special specialized persons, counselors.

1723
01:43:05.600 --> 01:43:12.680
<v Speaker 12>Sometimes our bodies is linked with the mind. The physical

1724
01:43:12.880 --> 01:43:13.399
<v Speaker 12>is linked with.

1725
01:43:13.439 --> 01:43:19.000
<v Speaker 11>The mind, and sometimes we have to actually take not

1726
01:43:19.279 --> 01:43:24.680
<v Speaker 11>just food which will have nutrients to stimulate certain parts

1727
01:43:24.720 --> 01:43:27.880
<v Speaker 11>of the body and the mind to behave a particular way.

1728
01:43:28.479 --> 01:43:31.760
<v Speaker 11>But sometimes an emergency, like we have to go and

1729
01:43:32.079 --> 01:43:35.880
<v Speaker 11>do an emergency operation. We may have to take a tablet,

1730
01:43:36.680 --> 01:43:41.600
<v Speaker 11>we may have to take an injection and then you know.

1731
01:43:41.840 --> 01:43:45.920
<v Speaker 12>To straight mess up and then to be schooled or

1732
01:43:46.199 --> 01:43:49.840
<v Speaker 12>trained or retrained by a professional.

1733
01:43:51.319 --> 01:43:53.600
<v Speaker 2>Coaches, etc.

1734
01:43:54.159 --> 01:43:57.880
<v Speaker 11>So it is important for us to know that sometimes

1735
01:43:57.960 --> 01:44:01.319
<v Speaker 11>we have to take our cut the right mechanic or

1736
01:44:01.399 --> 01:44:05.520
<v Speaker 11>the riety lecture sham or the right person to give

1737
01:44:05.680 --> 01:44:09.199
<v Speaker 11>us the heir that we may not even realize we need.

1738
01:44:12.520 --> 01:44:18.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, love that love that I think, sorry, go ahead,

1739
01:44:18.800 --> 01:44:19.159
<v Speaker 1>go ahead.

1740
01:44:19.880 --> 01:44:23.159
<v Speaker 6>No, I heard what you're saying. And in terms of

1741
01:44:23.319 --> 01:44:24.359
<v Speaker 6>me being in a very.

1742
01:44:25.039 --> 01:44:28.159
<v Speaker 3>Young marriage, I felt very protective of it like that

1743
01:44:28.560 --> 01:44:30.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm still trying to figure out.

1744
01:44:30.159 --> 01:44:32.319
<v Speaker 6>What it is, what it means, how we're going to

1745
01:44:32.359 --> 01:44:32.880
<v Speaker 6>get through this.

1746
01:44:33.159 --> 01:44:35.079
<v Speaker 3>And what I find is that there's a lot of

1747
01:44:35.199 --> 01:44:38.039
<v Speaker 3>noise out there, there's a lot of information, there's a

1748
01:44:38.159 --> 01:44:43.800
<v Speaker 3>lot of detail. So my advice would be even to

1749
01:44:44.079 --> 01:44:46.800
<v Speaker 3>start with prayer and making sure that your spirit led,

1750
01:44:47.279 --> 01:44:50.119
<v Speaker 3>because I would say to say, you know what, Yes,

1751
01:44:50.439 --> 01:44:53.520
<v Speaker 3>our elders know what our elders have are working off

1752
01:44:53.560 --> 01:44:56.720
<v Speaker 3>their own traumas, their own experiences. So you may go

1753
01:44:56.840 --> 01:45:01.079
<v Speaker 3>to the wrong person, Yes, nelder may be an elder,

1754
01:45:01.239 --> 01:45:04.640
<v Speaker 3>but still not wise or not the person that should

1755
01:45:04.640 --> 01:45:08.640
<v Speaker 3>be speaking into your relationship. So I feel like it's

1756
01:45:08.680 --> 01:45:11.359
<v Speaker 3>an easy thing to say, and I say it often,

1757
01:45:11.479 --> 01:45:13.159
<v Speaker 3>but we need to be spirit led.

1758
01:45:13.720 --> 01:45:16.840
<v Speaker 6>We need to know where we are going for the information.

1759
01:45:16.600 --> 01:45:19.880
<v Speaker 3>What information we're needing to seek, so that we can

1760
01:45:20.000 --> 01:45:23.159
<v Speaker 3>choose the right people to speak into our lives and

1761
01:45:23.600 --> 01:45:25.960
<v Speaker 3>the right materials to read, the right.

1762
01:45:26.119 --> 01:45:26.880
<v Speaker 6>Places to go.

1763
01:45:27.760 --> 01:45:30.720
<v Speaker 3>Even in terms of counselors, there are several counselors out there,

1764
01:45:30.760 --> 01:45:31.720
<v Speaker 3>but which one is for you?

1765
01:45:31.920 --> 01:45:34.600
<v Speaker 6>Which one will be the right choice for you and

1766
01:45:34.880 --> 01:45:39.319
<v Speaker 6>your partner, your your your husband or why? So that's

1767
01:45:39.359 --> 01:45:41.199
<v Speaker 6>where I am. I think that.

1768
01:45:41.479 --> 01:45:43.720
<v Speaker 3>Jolden you said it. You said it best in terms

1769
01:45:43.760 --> 01:45:48.399
<v Speaker 3>of amos. Lest we agree, we're not going anywhere.

1770
01:45:49.119 --> 01:45:52.359
<v Speaker 6>So that's that's first and foremost. And love is a

1771
01:45:52.479 --> 01:45:54.479
<v Speaker 6>fantastic word for Hilton.

1772
01:45:54.560 --> 01:45:57.560
<v Speaker 3>You you hinted to it, you said it's it's just

1773
01:45:57.640 --> 01:46:01.840
<v Speaker 3>a word unless we we make practical unless we seek

1774
01:46:01.920 --> 01:46:05.039
<v Speaker 3>to do things that will enhance the relationship. That's what

1775
01:46:05.119 --> 01:46:09.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm finding most about marriage. Yes, I love him, WHOA Yeah,

1776
01:46:09.159 --> 01:46:11.399
<v Speaker 3>we love each other. I made a decision to.

1777
01:46:11.439 --> 01:46:12.640
<v Speaker 6>Go down the aisle with him.

1778
01:46:12.760 --> 01:46:16.560
<v Speaker 3>But here comes the work, Here comes the effort, Here

1779
01:46:16.640 --> 01:46:19.000
<v Speaker 3>comes the things that we need to do practically, And.

1780
01:46:19.159 --> 01:46:22.039
<v Speaker 6>Yes, I know it, but can we do it? Can

1781
01:46:22.119 --> 01:46:25.840
<v Speaker 6>we set aside that night for date night? It's hard

1782
01:46:25.880 --> 01:46:26.039
<v Speaker 6>to do.

1783
01:46:26.560 --> 01:46:29.960
<v Speaker 3>We've been pulled in several directions. Do I set aside

1784
01:46:30.000 --> 01:46:31.000
<v Speaker 3>that time for counseling?

1785
01:46:31.039 --> 01:46:33.039
<v Speaker 6>It's hard to do. Where do we find the finances?

1786
01:46:33.760 --> 01:46:36.359
<v Speaker 3>It's all that stuff that we know. Yes, it's good

1787
01:46:36.439 --> 01:46:39.720
<v Speaker 3>to do, but do we really do it? Can we

1788
01:46:39.840 --> 01:46:42.159
<v Speaker 3>find the time to do it? And how we agreed

1789
01:46:42.800 --> 01:46:44.199
<v Speaker 3>that this is what we need to do?

1790
01:46:44.760 --> 01:46:47.520
<v Speaker 6>And I think for me, prayer is probably the easiest,

1791
01:46:48.079 --> 01:46:49.720
<v Speaker 6>the best way to start.

1792
01:46:49.880 --> 01:46:52.680
<v Speaker 3>You don't need any finances, Thank God, we don't need

1793
01:46:52.800 --> 01:46:55.359
<v Speaker 3>anything to fall on our knees.

1794
01:46:55.600 --> 01:46:58.560
<v Speaker 6>And approach Him in prayer. We don't need any money,

1795
01:46:58.680 --> 01:47:02.239
<v Speaker 6>We don't need, you know, So we just go go.

1796
01:47:02.680 --> 01:47:05.399
<v Speaker 3>We can go together. I love what Saturday says. You know,

1797
01:47:06.199 --> 01:47:08.399
<v Speaker 3>I think that's a bit of a cheat. But he

1798
01:47:08.520 --> 01:47:11.760
<v Speaker 3>pulls her aside in the middle of the argument.

1799
01:47:11.800 --> 01:47:14.359
<v Speaker 6>And what a way to diffuse it. Let's pray and

1800
01:47:14.560 --> 01:47:16.439
<v Speaker 6>let's just get closer to God. With God in it.

1801
01:47:16.640 --> 01:47:19.720
<v Speaker 6>How can you be arguing? How can you be upset

1802
01:47:19.800 --> 01:47:22.600
<v Speaker 6>and Hilton. You mentioned three.

1803
01:47:22.119 --> 01:47:23.720
<v Speaker 3>Essays and I thought you were going to mention a fourth,

1804
01:47:24.279 --> 01:47:26.880
<v Speaker 3>but I'll leave it there in terms of what's involved

1805
01:47:26.880 --> 01:47:30.000
<v Speaker 3>in marriage, because these are all things that you've.

1806
01:47:29.840 --> 01:47:31.319
<v Speaker 6>Got to work on. You've got to.

1807
01:47:32.960 --> 01:47:35.920
<v Speaker 3>It's work, and I think Prento said it best. Yeah,

1808
01:47:36.159 --> 01:47:39.560
<v Speaker 3>it's work. It's forget the magic and all the stuff

1809
01:47:39.600 --> 01:47:41.960
<v Speaker 3>you see on TikTok and all that kind of business.

1810
01:47:42.359 --> 01:47:44.840
<v Speaker 3>And that's something we need to say as well. We're

1811
01:47:44.880 --> 01:47:46.880
<v Speaker 3>coming back next week and we're going to be speaking

1812
01:47:46.960 --> 01:47:49.000
<v Speaker 3>to our young people. Said, hey, maybe you want to

1813
01:47:49.039 --> 01:47:51.319
<v Speaker 3>come back on the show if you're available, but we're

1814
01:47:51.359 --> 01:47:53.159
<v Speaker 3>going to be speaking to the young people and finding

1815
01:47:53.239 --> 01:47:56.880
<v Speaker 3>out if they see it how we've seen it, gen

1816
01:47:57.119 --> 01:48:01.079
<v Speaker 3>X and all that, because has that role changed? Is

1817
01:48:01.159 --> 01:48:02.760
<v Speaker 3>there such a thing and I'm throwing it out as

1818
01:48:02.840 --> 01:48:05.159
<v Speaker 3>seven or three, but is there such a thing as

1819
01:48:05.239 --> 01:48:06.640
<v Speaker 3>the proverb of thirty one man?

1820
01:48:07.720 --> 01:48:13.520
<v Speaker 6>M Yeah, exactly, So they're there, I mean perhaps not Biblically.

1821
01:48:14.680 --> 01:48:17.560
<v Speaker 6>Are the roles changing in terms of who and what

1822
01:48:17.840 --> 01:48:19.920
<v Speaker 6>and what are we doing together?

1823
01:48:19.960 --> 01:48:23.079
<v Speaker 3>And is the man still needing to lead or the

1824
01:48:23.159 --> 01:48:26.159
<v Speaker 3>women now leading because of the absence of strong men

1825
01:48:26.680 --> 01:48:28.720
<v Speaker 3>our Oh dear colleagues, come on, and I think that's

1826
01:48:28.760 --> 01:48:30.359
<v Speaker 3>where the conversation went last time.

1827
01:48:30.439 --> 01:48:33.920
<v Speaker 6>So, yeah, what has changed? What do our young people

1828
01:48:34.039 --> 01:48:34.920
<v Speaker 6>see is different?

1829
01:48:35.600 --> 01:48:38.399
<v Speaker 3>And where do we find the environment that we can

1830
01:48:38.520 --> 01:48:41.840
<v Speaker 3>foster these things that we need to do, the skills

1831
01:48:41.880 --> 01:48:44.079
<v Speaker 3>that we need to have, and maybe.

1832
01:48:43.880 --> 01:48:45.520
<v Speaker 6>The church is a place to start.

1833
01:48:46.319 --> 01:48:49.279
<v Speaker 3>The conversations need to be had, and thankfully that's what

1834
01:48:49.359 --> 01:48:52.279
<v Speaker 3>talking point is about, having the conversations that we don't

1835
01:48:52.399 --> 01:48:56.079
<v Speaker 3>necessarily have on a Sabbath afternoon or a Sabbath morning,

1836
01:48:57.119 --> 01:49:00.800
<v Speaker 3>where our young people can learn or anybody to understand

1837
01:49:01.000 --> 01:49:04.439
<v Speaker 3>dynamics of a relationship and making us stronger. As a mouthful,

1838
01:49:04.520 --> 01:49:07.319
<v Speaker 3>but I think that's my final word for the evening.

1839
01:49:09.680 --> 01:49:11.439
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know.

1840
01:49:11.479 --> 01:49:14.039
<v Speaker 12>As he's about to leave, he said, you want to

1841
01:49:14.159 --> 01:49:15.159
<v Speaker 12>share before.

1842
01:49:15.960 --> 01:49:21.279
<v Speaker 3>Okay, yes, certainly you're saying you were about to leave us.

1843
01:49:21.279 --> 01:49:23.920
<v Speaker 3>There any final words of wisdom that you'd like to

1844
01:49:24.039 --> 01:49:26.039
<v Speaker 3>leave us with actually.

1845
01:49:26.159 --> 01:49:30.039
<v Speaker 2>Going to click the leief button. I just couldn't thinking.

1846
01:49:31.159 --> 01:49:33.199
<v Speaker 2>I think the one thing that comes to my mind,

1847
01:49:33.520 --> 01:49:37.720
<v Speaker 2>along with the fact that God should be the central

1848
01:49:37.920 --> 01:49:42.880
<v Speaker 2>part of our relationship, I think what is most important

1849
01:49:43.279 --> 01:49:48.159
<v Speaker 2>is to recognize that how we treat each other is significant.

1850
01:49:49.319 --> 01:49:52.680
<v Speaker 2>It is not necessarily how beautiful you are, how much

1851
01:49:52.760 --> 01:49:57.560
<v Speaker 2>money you have, how much resources and assets that you have. Ultimately,

1852
01:49:57.720 --> 01:50:01.279
<v Speaker 2>what people feel and respond to is how you treat them,

1853
01:50:01.920 --> 01:50:04.479
<v Speaker 2>and if you treat them with love and esteem, and

1854
01:50:04.640 --> 01:50:07.479
<v Speaker 2>if you honor them, if you make them matter to you,

1855
01:50:07.760 --> 01:50:10.880
<v Speaker 2>if you put them before you, as Paul says that

1856
01:50:11.159 --> 01:50:14.359
<v Speaker 2>we must, you know, put the other if you treat them,

1857
01:50:14.600 --> 01:50:17.359
<v Speaker 2>you know, like Christ who said that, you know, he

1858
01:50:17.439 --> 01:50:20.640
<v Speaker 2>didn't think it was robbery to be equal with God,

1859
01:50:20.800 --> 01:50:24.359
<v Speaker 2>and he came as a servant. When you treat people

1860
01:50:24.479 --> 01:50:27.640
<v Speaker 2>like that, they would want to be with you. However,

1861
01:50:27.760 --> 01:50:33.199
<v Speaker 2>when you delegrade, when you degrade, when you criticize, when

1862
01:50:33.520 --> 01:50:38.239
<v Speaker 2>you condemn and have contempt for people. For the majority

1863
01:50:38.279 --> 01:50:40.000
<v Speaker 2>of the time, this will come in off and on.

1864
01:50:40.520 --> 01:50:43.479
<v Speaker 2>But if this happens for a long period of time,

1865
01:50:44.039 --> 01:50:47.600
<v Speaker 2>you will find that the other person will not want

1866
01:50:47.680 --> 01:50:50.560
<v Speaker 2>to be with you. They would want to separate themselves

1867
01:50:50.600 --> 01:50:55.680
<v Speaker 2>from the pain and the agony of being in your

1868
01:50:55.800 --> 01:50:59.800
<v Speaker 2>presence when you make them less than they should be

1869
01:51:00.399 --> 01:51:02.880
<v Speaker 2>because they're the child of God and they have the

1870
01:51:03.119 --> 01:51:07.119
<v Speaker 2>image of God. So let's just focus on If you

1871
01:51:07.279 --> 01:51:12.479
<v Speaker 2>focus on how you can contribute to elevate this person.

1872
01:51:13.399 --> 01:51:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I think that would augment well for a high performance,

1873
01:51:19.720 --> 01:51:25.960
<v Speaker 2>rock solid, divorce proof marriage. That's my final input. Cool,

1874
01:51:26.159 --> 01:51:28.600
<v Speaker 2>thank you, thank you, Bye, everybody.

1875
01:51:28.359 --> 01:51:30.800
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, thank you.

1876
01:51:37.159 --> 01:51:40.279
<v Speaker 7>Okay, And as he said that, I was kind of

1877
01:51:41.399 --> 01:51:43.119
<v Speaker 7>what I kind of wanted to know is well, I

1878
01:51:43.159 --> 01:51:45.239
<v Speaker 7>guess we're coming to the end of our show we've

1879
01:51:45.279 --> 01:51:46.560
<v Speaker 7>had and I'm saying the end.

1880
01:51:46.720 --> 01:51:49.119
<v Speaker 1>This is never the end. We've got Part two, Part three.

1881
01:51:49.520 --> 01:51:50.079
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure we.

1882
01:51:50.119 --> 01:51:51.680
<v Speaker 7>Could do on this one because there's a lot of

1883
01:51:51.720 --> 01:51:56.159
<v Speaker 7>that's been coming out, but I guess, And instead you

1884
01:51:56.239 --> 01:51:58.159
<v Speaker 7>were still talking there and Charlie was saying, in terms

1885
01:51:58.199 --> 01:52:00.640
<v Speaker 7>of you know, getting advice and inform, there is a

1886
01:52:00.680 --> 01:52:02.920
<v Speaker 7>lot of things out there, so I'm curious to know

1887
01:52:04.079 --> 01:52:06.399
<v Speaker 7>and we can chime in here what's kind of the

1888
01:52:06.479 --> 01:52:09.920
<v Speaker 7>best advice that you've been given and how has that

1889
01:52:10.079 --> 01:52:15.079
<v Speaker 7>been helpful in your relationships? And I guess also we've

1890
01:52:15.159 --> 01:52:17.560
<v Speaker 7>talked about some really practical things that we can do.

1891
01:52:17.960 --> 01:52:21.079
<v Speaker 7>Are there any other key practical steps you can take,

1892
01:52:22.039 --> 01:52:24.880
<v Speaker 7>things that you can do. There's been some really good

1893
01:52:25.000 --> 01:52:29.640
<v Speaker 7>keywords come through, you know, starting with God at the center.

1894
01:52:30.399 --> 01:52:33.720
<v Speaker 7>Prayer needs to be spirit led, you know, the kind

1895
01:52:33.720 --> 01:52:36.680
<v Speaker 7>of qualities that we need to be showing, I guess,

1896
01:52:36.920 --> 01:52:43.760
<v Speaker 7>demonstrating ourselves being ourselves selfless, not selfish, you know, kind, compassionate.

1897
01:52:45.479 --> 01:52:47.119
<v Speaker 7>So but I'm curious to know, you know, you know,

1898
01:52:47.199 --> 01:52:49.720
<v Speaker 7>we want to learn from other people. We want to

1899
01:52:49.800 --> 01:52:51.479
<v Speaker 7>learn from the books that we read and what have you.

1900
01:52:51.600 --> 01:52:54.920
<v Speaker 7>But what advice have you been given that's been really

1901
01:52:55.039 --> 01:52:56.760
<v Speaker 7>key and it has been helpful? And are there any

1902
01:52:56.800 --> 01:52:59.079
<v Speaker 7>other steps that we can take as well? As we're

1903
01:52:59.079 --> 01:53:04.640
<v Speaker 7>coming to our final thoughts? And God, go ahead, all right?

1904
01:53:04.800 --> 01:53:08.199
<v Speaker 11>I think all what you have said, what we have said,

1905
01:53:08.600 --> 01:53:11.239
<v Speaker 11>you know, we just after remember and.

1906
01:53:11.319 --> 01:53:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Are prior in our daily life.

1907
01:53:15.279 --> 01:53:18.239
<v Speaker 11>How can we make and how can we as individuals

1908
01:53:18.399 --> 01:53:24.079
<v Speaker 11>make a contribution to healthy relationship by being Christian what

1909
01:53:24.239 --> 01:53:27.520
<v Speaker 11>we know Christian? Or to be as was said in

1910
01:53:27.640 --> 01:53:31.760
<v Speaker 11>our daily life a long time? You know, Adventists used

1911
01:53:31.760 --> 01:53:35.520
<v Speaker 11>to be the people of the book, people of talk,

1912
01:53:36.279 --> 01:53:40.000
<v Speaker 11>people of the work, all right, so that when you

1913
01:53:40.079 --> 01:53:43.399
<v Speaker 11>see an Adventist coming down, you could tell, hey, that

1914
01:53:43.640 --> 01:53:46.880
<v Speaker 11>person looks like an Adventist because of their walk and

1915
01:53:47.159 --> 01:53:48.600
<v Speaker 11>talk and their mannerisms.

1916
01:53:49.439 --> 01:53:50.279
<v Speaker 5>You know, we as.

1917
01:53:52.319 --> 01:53:56.239
<v Speaker 11>People of influence, we need to remember that when we

1918
01:53:56.439 --> 01:54:01.800
<v Speaker 11>leave home after devotion. After time with God and the family,

1919
01:54:02.680 --> 01:54:05.399
<v Speaker 11>you also have time with the people that you meet

1920
01:54:06.159 --> 01:54:07.039
<v Speaker 11>so that yes.

1921
01:54:07.800 --> 01:54:08.720
<v Speaker 12>They are cultious.

1922
01:54:09.039 --> 01:54:12.880
<v Speaker 11>Like I've been to UK and I came with my

1923
01:54:13.159 --> 01:54:19.039
<v Speaker 11>adventist smile and my Adventist high and my blessings and

1924
01:54:19.239 --> 01:54:22.880
<v Speaker 11>the people either not a custom or they just don't business,

1925
01:54:23.000 --> 01:54:28.319
<v Speaker 11>they don't care. Right, it happens, but there would be someone,

1926
01:54:29.800 --> 01:54:32.640
<v Speaker 11>There would be some body in.

1927
01:54:34.680 --> 01:54:38.079
<v Speaker 12>Your walk during a day or the day that you

1928
01:54:38.159 --> 01:54:38.840
<v Speaker 12>would have just.

1929
01:54:38.960 --> 01:54:42.600
<v Speaker 11>Continued to keep that spirit and they would have either

1930
01:54:42.960 --> 01:54:45.159
<v Speaker 11>esteem or they would have either.

1931
01:54:45.279 --> 01:54:48.680
<v Speaker 12>Met that spirit to influence them.

1932
01:54:50.039 --> 01:54:54.520
<v Speaker 11>Into having a healthy relationship because they saw something in me,

1933
01:54:55.439 --> 01:54:56.760
<v Speaker 11>they saw something in you.

1934
01:54:57.920 --> 01:55:00.159
<v Speaker 12>And I think if with this time.

1935
01:55:00.039 --> 01:55:04.840
<v Speaker 11>Type of relationship that we are having online now and

1936
01:55:05.000 --> 01:55:08.560
<v Speaker 11>we are re establishing certain values and we are start

1937
01:55:08.840 --> 01:55:13.520
<v Speaker 11>establishing certain practices, I can tell that our future would

1938
01:55:13.560 --> 01:55:18.359
<v Speaker 11>be a better one socially, spiritually and in terms of

1939
01:55:19.279 --> 01:55:20.920
<v Speaker 11>building healthy relationships.

1940
01:55:21.000 --> 01:55:24.119
<v Speaker 4>So we just have to keep practicing it every day.

1941
01:55:26.119 --> 01:55:29.680
<v Speaker 11>For example, we know for a fact every day we're

1942
01:55:29.720 --> 01:55:33.560
<v Speaker 11>supposed to half time with God, half time.

1943
01:55:33.399 --> 01:55:35.199
<v Speaker 1>With the Spirit.

1944
01:55:36.159 --> 01:55:40.039
<v Speaker 11>And if we don't do that, we if we've been

1945
01:55:40.119 --> 01:55:42.319
<v Speaker 11>practicing it and we don't do it, we feel a

1946
01:55:42.399 --> 01:55:44.840
<v Speaker 11>how you know something is missing.

1947
01:55:45.399 --> 01:55:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I miss something today.

1948
01:55:46.840 --> 01:55:50.399
<v Speaker 12>I'm missing today, you know, I miss that thought, that

1949
01:55:50.800 --> 01:55:51.680
<v Speaker 12>blessing today.

1950
01:55:52.520 --> 01:55:57.920
<v Speaker 11>And I think, you know, in my experience with Geraldine,

1951
01:55:58.039 --> 01:56:01.760
<v Speaker 11>you know, we've both came together there with that ministry

1952
01:56:01.840 --> 01:56:04.439
<v Speaker 11>as it would she had her own ministry, I had

1953
01:56:04.479 --> 01:56:08.119
<v Speaker 11>my ministry. We came together and we tie them up

1954
01:56:08.199 --> 01:56:11.720
<v Speaker 11>as it would budge them together, you know, so that

1955
01:56:11.920 --> 01:56:17.039
<v Speaker 11>God could use them and use us, you know, for

1956
01:56:17.279 --> 01:56:20.520
<v Speaker 11>his glory and his honor, so that we just continue

1957
01:56:20.960 --> 01:56:23.760
<v Speaker 11>to team up as we have this what we call

1958
01:56:23.840 --> 01:56:24.319
<v Speaker 11>it the web.

1959
01:56:24.920 --> 01:56:26.199
<v Speaker 2>We just have to web up.

1960
01:56:26.560 --> 01:56:31.560
<v Speaker 11>Across disease, across the states with one another, touching base

1961
01:56:31.680 --> 01:56:36.800
<v Speaker 11>with one another to help one another, and individually we

1962
01:56:36.920 --> 01:56:40.600
<v Speaker 11>will definitely be developing healthy relationships.

1963
01:56:41.159 --> 01:56:47.000
<v Speaker 1>So thank you for that. Okay, any other thoughts, any advice, Shannon.

1964
01:56:48.600 --> 01:56:56.239
<v Speaker 9>Yes, when we grow into a really as we grow

1965
01:56:56.319 --> 01:56:59.840
<v Speaker 9>a relationship, you need to nurture it and so on.

1966
01:57:01.199 --> 01:57:06.439
<v Speaker 9>But as the years pilon, oftentimes we get complacent.

1967
01:57:08.800 --> 01:57:14.239
<v Speaker 6>And weary of investing and and even distracted.

1968
01:57:14.520 --> 01:57:17.840
<v Speaker 9>You may see someone else or someone else.

1969
01:57:17.760 --> 01:57:19.840
<v Speaker 4>Is you know, pining after you.

1970
01:57:20.680 --> 01:57:27.920
<v Speaker 9>But is to keep the priority in focus what is

1971
01:57:28.000 --> 01:57:31.760
<v Speaker 9>important to you and what you're investing in so that

1972
01:57:31.920 --> 01:57:33.000
<v Speaker 9>those blessings that.

1973
01:57:35.960 --> 01:57:37.199
<v Speaker 6>That God as.

1974
01:57:39.079 --> 01:57:41.920
<v Speaker 9>That will come to you and that will keep coming

1975
01:57:42.119 --> 01:57:43.000
<v Speaker 9>as a result.

1976
01:57:42.760 --> 01:57:46.520
<v Speaker 4>Of doing the right thing. The other thing is to

1977
01:57:46.640 --> 01:57:47.720
<v Speaker 4>keep dreaming.

1978
01:57:48.039 --> 01:57:52.600
<v Speaker 9>Or not just yourself, but for the other special person.

1979
01:57:53.600 --> 01:57:56.439
<v Speaker 9>Include them in your life, in the mission, in whatever

1980
01:57:56.520 --> 01:57:59.039
<v Speaker 9>you're working at, because if you're going to have a

1981
01:57:59.159 --> 01:58:01.880
<v Speaker 9>help meet, then they need to be helping you to

1982
01:58:02.479 --> 01:58:06.000
<v Speaker 9>be doing stuff. You know, you're working towards something together,

1983
01:58:07.359 --> 01:58:08.560
<v Speaker 9>You're doing life together.

1984
01:58:10.720 --> 01:58:13.760
<v Speaker 6>So keep having those dreams or.

1985
01:58:13.800 --> 01:58:20.199
<v Speaker 9>Those missions being by including them in those for example,

1986
01:58:20.520 --> 01:58:24.239
<v Speaker 9>you're building a house, for example, let them know what

1987
01:58:24.560 --> 01:58:26.800
<v Speaker 9>you know, what you're doing so that they can support

1988
01:58:26.880 --> 01:58:31.359
<v Speaker 9>you in that, not be selfish, you know, and ask

1989
01:58:31.680 --> 01:58:36.880
<v Speaker 9>the right questions how does this make you feel? Or

1990
01:58:36.960 --> 01:58:40.000
<v Speaker 9>reflecting on what has happened. If you've had a quarrel,

1991
01:58:40.720 --> 01:58:43.760
<v Speaker 9>you talk about it. Maybe it's not right. How when

1992
01:58:43.800 --> 01:58:47.640
<v Speaker 9>it's heated, But after a couple of hours, you guys

1993
01:58:47.680 --> 01:58:48.920
<v Speaker 9>come together, Okay.

1994
01:58:49.439 --> 01:58:54.000
<v Speaker 6>We need to talk what happen here? How can I

1995
01:58:54.079 --> 01:58:54.680
<v Speaker 6>do this better?

1996
01:58:56.079 --> 01:58:57.560
<v Speaker 4>Or could you do this better?

1997
01:58:58.520 --> 01:59:00.880
<v Speaker 6>It caused me to do this? I don't know what's wrong?

1998
01:59:01.840 --> 01:59:02.039
<v Speaker 18>You know?

1999
01:59:02.520 --> 01:59:07.159
<v Speaker 6>So and as we apply, as we uh.

2000
01:59:07.319 --> 01:59:11.439
<v Speaker 9>The play Bible, apply Bible, then it will become like

2001
01:59:11.520 --> 01:59:12.279
<v Speaker 9>their cold nature.

2002
01:59:13.640 --> 01:59:16.520
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, okay, Lovely.

2003
01:59:22.279 --> 01:59:22.920
<v Speaker 4>Had something.

2004
01:59:25.239 --> 01:59:31.359
<v Speaker 8>Okay, Well, practically three things I would say, and I

2005
01:59:31.439 --> 01:59:34.319
<v Speaker 8>think they've been said already in a roundabout way and

2006
01:59:34.439 --> 01:59:35.399
<v Speaker 8>in a direct way.

2007
01:59:35.920 --> 01:59:40.119
<v Speaker 4>At Christ centeredness, you must have that relationship with God.

2008
01:59:40.159 --> 01:59:44.399
<v Speaker 8>If you connect ventrically, then you can collect connect horizontally

2009
01:59:44.840 --> 01:59:46.399
<v Speaker 8>commitment and communication.

2010
01:59:46.640 --> 01:59:48.159
<v Speaker 1>But how do I do these things?

2011
01:59:49.399 --> 01:59:52.479
<v Speaker 4>Charlat and her husband gave a good practical.

2012
01:59:54.199 --> 01:59:58.680
<v Speaker 8>Advice on the platform this evening, and they are actually

2013
01:59:58.800 --> 02:00:02.439
<v Speaker 8>reading the adventures for reading and discussing is one of

2014
02:00:02.479 --> 02:00:07.359
<v Speaker 8>the beautiful ways that you can understand yourself and your

2015
02:00:07.479 --> 02:00:11.720
<v Speaker 8>spouse as well as being able to apply those principles

2016
02:00:11.920 --> 02:00:12.640
<v Speaker 8>in practice.

2017
02:00:13.079 --> 02:00:15.960
<v Speaker 4>And I think when you share it, when you're sharing.

2018
02:00:15.720 --> 02:00:19.560
<v Speaker 8>Together, it allows you to open up a little bit

2019
02:00:19.760 --> 02:00:23.439
<v Speaker 8>more of an understanding of what one another likes, how

2020
02:00:23.520 --> 02:00:26.319
<v Speaker 8>each other can grow, and how you can improve. But

2021
02:00:26.479 --> 02:00:30.880
<v Speaker 8>two things that come to mind are intentionality and being

2022
02:00:31.000 --> 02:00:35.880
<v Speaker 8>purposeful in your desire to grow together as a couple.

2023
02:00:36.239 --> 02:00:40.199
<v Speaker 8>Data and I are not married yet. We are marrying

2024
02:00:40.319 --> 02:00:43.640
<v Speaker 8>in the summer by the grace of God. So we

2025
02:00:44.239 --> 02:00:47.159
<v Speaker 8>solicit your prayers. But one of the things I will

2026
02:00:47.199 --> 02:00:52.079
<v Speaker 8>say is our human tendency is to be selfish. And

2027
02:00:52.199 --> 02:00:55.079
<v Speaker 8>I think, as the Bible says, we are born in

2028
02:00:55.199 --> 02:00:58.439
<v Speaker 8>sin and shape and in iniquity. So when we do

2029
02:00:58.800 --> 02:01:03.359
<v Speaker 8>have slight difference or when we're struggling in a relationship,

2030
02:01:03.960 --> 02:01:07.399
<v Speaker 8>it's always good to even though sometimes you may not

2031
02:01:07.520 --> 02:01:10.399
<v Speaker 8>be able, to try and have a positive mindset and

2032
02:01:10.560 --> 02:01:15.399
<v Speaker 8>embrace the change, because with every change comes challenges. Yes,

2033
02:01:15.840 --> 02:01:19.319
<v Speaker 8>but those challenges can always be worked and improved upon.

2034
02:01:19.800 --> 02:01:22.520
<v Speaker 8>And these are some practical steps that we can give.

2035
02:01:22.600 --> 02:01:25.359
<v Speaker 8>I remember Zenya was saying, she can't you know who

2036
02:01:25.479 --> 02:01:26.800
<v Speaker 8>has money for counseling?

2037
02:01:27.279 --> 02:01:30.439
<v Speaker 4>Well, if you ask, you might get a free right.

2038
02:01:31.439 --> 02:01:32.039
<v Speaker 12>But and I.

2039
02:01:33.560 --> 02:01:33.920
<v Speaker 2>We do.

2040
02:01:35.479 --> 02:01:39.720
<v Speaker 8>Give relationship counseling, and we've been doing so for many years,

2041
02:01:39.880 --> 02:01:45.720
<v Speaker 8>in fact, separately and collectively together now. And I'm not

2042
02:01:45.840 --> 02:01:48.000
<v Speaker 8>the person who will say just give me your money. No, no, no,

2043
02:01:48.199 --> 02:01:51.600
<v Speaker 8>because I counsel every day people ring. I counsel every day,

2044
02:01:51.640 --> 02:01:54.199
<v Speaker 8>and so if people need counseling, we are free to give.

2045
02:01:54.880 --> 02:01:58.720
<v Speaker 8>You know, freely have received the word of process, freely give.

2046
02:01:59.199 --> 02:02:01.840
<v Speaker 8>And I think the last thing I will say is.

2047
02:02:03.439 --> 02:02:05.239
<v Speaker 4>I believe in. We believe in.

2048
02:02:05.359 --> 02:02:07.479
<v Speaker 8>Should I say because we often talk about it husband

2049
02:02:07.520 --> 02:02:11.640
<v Speaker 8>and wife ministry, and if you're struggling in your marriage

2050
02:02:11.760 --> 02:02:15.920
<v Speaker 8>or your relationship, it may be that there is a

2051
02:02:16.119 --> 02:02:21.359
<v Speaker 8>loose connection somewhere where you just need to find what

2052
02:02:21.680 --> 02:02:26.319
<v Speaker 8>ministry God has for you as a couple, because it

2053
02:02:26.479 --> 02:02:32.479
<v Speaker 8>really will enhance and improve on the practicality of your relationship.

2054
02:02:32.560 --> 02:02:35.239
<v Speaker 8>And that's something that we do. We're passionate about it

2055
02:02:35.760 --> 02:02:37.520
<v Speaker 8>and we will help you find your ministry.

2056
02:02:37.920 --> 02:02:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, call us let.

2057
02:02:39.960 --> 02:02:43.760
<v Speaker 8>Us know or in that respect, but God is love

2058
02:02:44.359 --> 02:02:47.399
<v Speaker 8>and we are faced with challenges each and every day.

2059
02:02:48.479 --> 02:02:51.359
<v Speaker 8>One of the things I will say, prayer is powerful

2060
02:02:52.199 --> 02:02:58.840
<v Speaker 8>in your couple relationship. It is a powerful source. And

2061
02:02:59.000 --> 02:03:02.479
<v Speaker 8>whatever you feel that God cannot do, he says, I

2062
02:03:02.640 --> 02:03:08.520
<v Speaker 8>am the possible God. Impossible, you know, He transcends across

2063
02:03:08.800 --> 02:03:12.920
<v Speaker 8>time and space, which means to me that there's nothing

2064
02:03:13.359 --> 02:03:15.760
<v Speaker 8>that God cannot do. And that's the encouragement. I want

2065
02:03:15.840 --> 02:03:19.479
<v Speaker 8>to leave this evening for everybody that's trying and failing

2066
02:03:20.960 --> 02:03:24.800
<v Speaker 8>or not wanting to go again. God has your pan

2067
02:03:25.000 --> 02:03:27.720
<v Speaker 8>mapped out for you and He is the impossible God.

2068
02:03:27.800 --> 02:03:29.920
<v Speaker 4>He can do anything. You just have to learn to

2069
02:03:30.039 --> 02:03:33.159
<v Speaker 4>trust him. Be built on the rock of cheese.

2070
02:03:34.279 --> 02:03:37.720
<v Speaker 5>Can I just pick your bag off for that? Yeah, Petri,

2071
02:03:38.439 --> 02:03:40.079
<v Speaker 5>Oh real quick, I know we're running out of time.

2072
02:03:42.039 --> 02:03:43.279
<v Speaker 5>First of all, I want to say when I was

2073
02:03:43.319 --> 02:03:48.000
<v Speaker 5>talking earlier about like therapists and everything, I'm not saying

2074
02:03:48.039 --> 02:03:49.600
<v Speaker 5>we don't listen to them. I'm saying we just don't

2075
02:03:49.640 --> 02:03:52.600
<v Speaker 5>only listen to them like you listen to them and life.

2076
02:03:53.079 --> 02:03:54.800
<v Speaker 5>You have to combine it. We have a tendency to

2077
02:03:54.920 --> 02:03:56.560
<v Speaker 5>go one way or the other. That was my first

2078
02:03:56.600 --> 02:03:59.159
<v Speaker 5>point because I want to clear that up. What Jereddy

2079
02:03:59.319 --> 02:04:03.560
<v Speaker 5>just said is so true because said it was so true.

2080
02:04:03.560 --> 02:04:07.359
<v Speaker 5>It's like for like, I'm only talking about experience, like

2081
02:04:08.000 --> 02:04:10.800
<v Speaker 5>my marriage was in shambles maybe the first ten twelve

2082
02:04:10.920 --> 02:04:13.560
<v Speaker 5>years of our marriage. It's not until we start doing

2083
02:04:13.600 --> 02:04:15.960
<v Speaker 5>the podcast and I'm plugging. I'm sorry, but I'm plugging

2084
02:04:16.000 --> 02:04:18.560
<v Speaker 5>hear my marriage podcast, which we do. But I tell

2085
02:04:18.600 --> 02:04:20.640
<v Speaker 5>people all the time that we They asked us why

2086
02:04:20.680 --> 02:04:23.439
<v Speaker 5>did we start, and I tell them that that was

2087
02:04:23.520 --> 02:04:27.000
<v Speaker 5>our way of healing each other while we was just talking.

2088
02:04:27.319 --> 02:04:29.439
<v Speaker 5>So we just got on the platform. We just started talking,

2089
02:04:29.920 --> 02:04:32.760
<v Speaker 5>and what we found was that we was healing ourselves

2090
02:04:32.800 --> 02:04:34.880
<v Speaker 5>and it made our marriage stronger because we was able

2091
02:04:34.960 --> 02:04:39.760
<v Speaker 5>to have a safe platform where the issues that we

2092
02:04:39.960 --> 02:04:42.840
<v Speaker 5>was having we could talk about them, but we couldn't

2093
02:04:42.840 --> 02:04:45.840
<v Speaker 5>respond the way we wanted to. So what's happening was

2094
02:04:45.920 --> 02:04:48.079
<v Speaker 5>after the podcast, my wife would look at me and

2095
02:04:48.119 --> 02:04:49.760
<v Speaker 5>she'd say, so that's how you really felt, or I

2096
02:04:49.840 --> 02:04:52.119
<v Speaker 5>said that's how you really felt, and then we would

2097
02:04:52.239 --> 02:04:54.840
<v Speaker 5>have a discussion. So it was it was like helping

2098
02:04:54.960 --> 02:05:00.560
<v Speaker 5>us to make our marriage stronger and more complete because

2099
02:05:00.560 --> 02:05:03.800
<v Speaker 5>we was able to understand and get an understanding of

2100
02:05:03.880 --> 02:05:05.800
<v Speaker 5>each other and where each other was coming from in

2101
02:05:05.880 --> 02:05:08.159
<v Speaker 5>a point of view. Because sometimes when you're having a

2102
02:05:08.239 --> 02:05:11.479
<v Speaker 5>discussion with your spouse or with your partner, you don't

2103
02:05:11.520 --> 02:05:13.640
<v Speaker 5>want to listen, you don't want to hear it. You're

2104
02:05:13.720 --> 02:05:16.119
<v Speaker 5>just in your own you know, your own space. And

2105
02:05:16.199 --> 02:05:19.880
<v Speaker 5>I tell people my wife is very emotional and I'm logical.

2106
02:05:20.680 --> 02:05:22.319
<v Speaker 5>So a lot of times we're having a discussion and

2107
02:05:22.359 --> 02:05:24.159
<v Speaker 5>she's doing it based on emotion, where I'm trying to

2108
02:05:24.239 --> 02:05:27.680
<v Speaker 5>do logic and she won't hear me. But when we

2109
02:05:27.920 --> 02:05:30.199
<v Speaker 5>when we when I talk about it on the podcast,

2110
02:05:30.760 --> 02:05:33.960
<v Speaker 5>she would actually listen. And then when we get off

2111
02:05:34.039 --> 02:05:36.359
<v Speaker 5>then she would actually say, Okay, let's have a discussion

2112
02:05:36.760 --> 02:05:38.319
<v Speaker 5>and I can get my point of course, where she

2113
02:05:38.439 --> 02:05:42.279
<v Speaker 5>won't you know, cut me off or say oh no,

2114
02:05:42.560 --> 02:05:46.479
<v Speaker 5>And so I agree with I was just piggybacking on

2115
02:05:46.560 --> 02:05:49.000
<v Speaker 5>what Jereddine just said because I think that's so true

2116
02:05:49.079 --> 02:05:52.199
<v Speaker 5>that you know, sometimes you have I guess what I'm

2117
02:05:52.199 --> 02:05:53.640
<v Speaker 5>saying is like, as a couple, you maybe have to

2118
02:05:53.720 --> 02:05:56.600
<v Speaker 5>find that medium that you can both that safe space

2119
02:05:56.640 --> 02:05:59.039
<v Speaker 5>that you can get to where you can have a

2120
02:05:59.119 --> 02:06:03.439
<v Speaker 5>conversation and park your your problems out and then that

2121
02:06:03.560 --> 02:06:05.199
<v Speaker 5>way it just helped your marriage to grow.

2122
02:06:06.399 --> 02:06:08.359
<v Speaker 1>Oh love you, thank you.

2123
02:06:09.840 --> 02:06:12.199
<v Speaker 7>Just had We've got collection is just joined the platform,

2124
02:06:12.199 --> 02:06:15.039
<v Speaker 7>and I know you've had a lot on so collechly, welcome,

2125
02:06:15.880 --> 02:06:19.239
<v Speaker 7>hope you're doing well. It was just really there, We're

2126
02:06:19.319 --> 02:06:20.800
<v Speaker 7>just coming to the end of wrapping up the show.

2127
02:06:20.880 --> 02:06:23.199
<v Speaker 7>But the question that I was really asking was kind of,

2128
02:06:23.319 --> 02:06:25.159
<v Speaker 7>you know, what's the best piece of advice you may

2129
02:06:25.159 --> 02:06:27.159
<v Speaker 7>have been given and how has that been helpful in

2130
02:06:27.239 --> 02:06:30.720
<v Speaker 7>terms of navigating relationships or do you have any tips

2131
02:06:30.760 --> 02:06:33.600
<v Speaker 7>that you have found we've been given that you found

2132
02:06:33.600 --> 02:06:38.079
<v Speaker 7>that have been helpful in developing a positive relationship.

2133
02:06:39.560 --> 02:06:40.800
<v Speaker 2>Hi, evening everyone.

2134
02:06:43.039 --> 02:06:46.279
<v Speaker 22>For me, it was from a gentleman years ago and

2135
02:06:46.359 --> 02:06:49.399
<v Speaker 22>he said to me in your single and he said

2136
02:06:49.399 --> 02:06:51.720
<v Speaker 22>to me, you need to invest in your relationship bank.

2137
02:06:52.600 --> 02:06:54.760
<v Speaker 22>And I said, what do you mean by that? He said,

2138
02:06:54.760 --> 02:06:58.119
<v Speaker 22>if there's a seminar on relationships attended, if there's a

2139
02:06:58.159 --> 02:07:02.960
<v Speaker 22>book to read, read it and gave as much information

2140
02:07:03.039 --> 02:07:04.680
<v Speaker 22>with her from those who are married or whatever. Just

2141
02:07:05.399 --> 02:07:08.560
<v Speaker 22>get as much information as you can. And as I've

2142
02:07:08.560 --> 02:07:11.000
<v Speaker 22>gotten older, I've realized that it's a beautiful thing because

2143
02:07:11.000 --> 02:07:13.319
<v Speaker 22>I have read a few books, I have been to seminars,

2144
02:07:13.399 --> 02:07:16.399
<v Speaker 22>and when situations come up in a relationship, I'm able

2145
02:07:16.439 --> 02:07:19.199
<v Speaker 22>to go into that two box that I've gathered of

2146
02:07:19.359 --> 02:07:23.399
<v Speaker 22>information and implemented. And the last two religion. The last

2147
02:07:23.560 --> 02:07:26.119
<v Speaker 22>relationship I've been in, I was with a young lady

2148
02:07:26.159 --> 02:07:28.000
<v Speaker 22>and I was talking to her and I realized that

2149
02:07:28.319 --> 02:07:30.680
<v Speaker 22>she had some issues she hasn't dealt with, and by

2150
02:07:30.800 --> 02:07:32.600
<v Speaker 22>talking to her because of the things I've been doing,

2151
02:07:32.880 --> 02:07:35.520
<v Speaker 22>she was able to go and get counseling and moved

2152
02:07:35.560 --> 02:07:39.840
<v Speaker 22>her forward in whatever she was struggling. So and secondly,

2153
02:07:40.439 --> 02:07:45.119
<v Speaker 22>my parents said the greatest example from me Hating's siblings,

2154
02:07:45.640 --> 02:07:46.760
<v Speaker 22>We've never heard my mom.

2155
02:07:46.680 --> 02:07:47.439
<v Speaker 2>And dad argue.

2156
02:07:47.479 --> 02:07:49.319
<v Speaker 22>We've never heard my dad speak to my mam a

2157
02:07:49.399 --> 02:07:52.840
<v Speaker 22>certain way it's always been, you know, mutual respect between

2158
02:07:52.880 --> 02:07:55.920
<v Speaker 22>them and the love and what they've shown us is beautiful.

2159
02:07:56.000 --> 02:08:01.399
<v Speaker 22>So for me, that's how I look at you know,

2160
02:08:01.840 --> 02:08:04.720
<v Speaker 22>what you would gather together for your own self and

2161
02:08:05.199 --> 02:08:07.119
<v Speaker 22>anything to do with self improvement. You gotta get on

2162
02:08:07.199 --> 02:08:10.960
<v Speaker 22>it because you I could be a very stubborn person,

2163
02:08:11.640 --> 02:08:13.520
<v Speaker 22>and I don't think I'm stubborn. But if two three

2164
02:08:13.520 --> 02:08:16.039
<v Speaker 22>people telling me that, you know, you're quite stubborn, you

2165
02:08:16.159 --> 02:08:18.880
<v Speaker 22>need to examine yourself and you know something, you know

2166
02:08:18.960 --> 02:08:21.039
<v Speaker 22>we keep saying about, oh, pray first.

2167
02:08:21.359 --> 02:08:22.359
<v Speaker 5>A lot of people use that.

2168
02:08:22.560 --> 02:08:24.640
<v Speaker 22>It sounds good, but when you're in the midst of

2169
02:08:24.680 --> 02:08:25.760
<v Speaker 22>the magnets, there's no prayer.

2170
02:08:25.800 --> 02:08:27.880
<v Speaker 5>You don't want to pray, you know, but but.

2171
02:08:29.560 --> 02:08:30.680
<v Speaker 4>It is the key.

2172
02:08:30.800 --> 02:08:32.079
<v Speaker 2>It is the key. Pray.

2173
02:08:32.239 --> 02:08:35.840
<v Speaker 22>And then I think someone said earlier, it's no good

2174
02:08:35.960 --> 02:08:39.319
<v Speaker 22>praying and then not acting upon what you've prayed about. Understand,

2175
02:08:39.399 --> 02:08:42.439
<v Speaker 22>you have to have Hebrews eleven in you. Understand. You

2176
02:08:42.520 --> 02:08:45.000
<v Speaker 22>have to have that faith, that trust. Even today, someone

2177
02:08:45.000 --> 02:08:47.199
<v Speaker 22>will saying to me, are you still single? Why are

2178
02:08:47.199 --> 02:08:50.399
<v Speaker 22>you single? Maybe you're the problem? Are you just to

2179
02:08:50.479 --> 02:08:51.880
<v Speaker 22>get a little upset with it? But I don't get

2180
02:08:51.960 --> 02:08:54.399
<v Speaker 22>upset now because I realize that, you know what, everybody's

2181
02:08:54.399 --> 02:08:57.600
<v Speaker 22>at different stages in life, and everybody's growing differently, and

2182
02:08:58.720 --> 02:09:01.600
<v Speaker 22>you know as well Sister said about when you're in

2183
02:09:01.680 --> 02:09:04.920
<v Speaker 22>a relationship and how you know when disagreements come. I

2184
02:09:05.039 --> 02:09:05.920
<v Speaker 22>was in this particularly.

2185
02:09:05.920 --> 02:09:08.560
<v Speaker 5>I was engaged at one point and.

2186
02:09:08.640 --> 02:09:11.880
<v Speaker 22>The lady, the lady, she was a little argumentative of

2187
02:09:12.479 --> 02:09:14.880
<v Speaker 22>certain things. And then one day the Holy Spirit said

2188
02:09:14.880 --> 02:09:17.720
<v Speaker 22>to me, if you know better, do better. So she

2189
02:09:17.880 --> 02:09:19.600
<v Speaker 22>was wrong about something, but I took it on me

2190
02:09:20.199 --> 02:09:21.840
<v Speaker 22>as as and I went there and I said, listen,

2191
02:09:21.880 --> 02:09:24.039
<v Speaker 22>I want to apologize to you. Seems that I've upset

2192
02:09:24.079 --> 02:09:25.079
<v Speaker 22>to you and it was.

2193
02:09:25.119 --> 02:09:25.840
<v Speaker 1>Not my intention.

2194
02:09:26.760 --> 02:09:28.640
<v Speaker 22>And it was about an hourly and she came to me.

2195
02:09:28.720 --> 02:09:31.119
<v Speaker 22>She got, oh, no, collect you. I want to apologize.

2196
02:09:31.199 --> 02:09:33.680
<v Speaker 22>I was wrong, And in that moment I realized that

2197
02:09:34.039 --> 02:09:36.199
<v Speaker 22>sometimes you just need to take that that that that

2198
02:09:36.479 --> 02:09:41.880
<v Speaker 22>the humble road and to help the other person, because

2199
02:09:41.960 --> 02:09:43.520
<v Speaker 22>you know you're with someone it's not that they hate,

2200
02:09:43.560 --> 02:09:45.760
<v Speaker 22>it's just that something said that they disliked. And it

2201
02:09:45.800 --> 02:09:47.399
<v Speaker 22>felt like you were attacking. And no one, none of

2202
02:09:47.479 --> 02:09:49.840
<v Speaker 22>us like when we're attacked. So I think it's just

2203
02:09:50.840 --> 02:09:52.760
<v Speaker 22>men and women, we all need to just take us stuck,

2204
02:09:52.840 --> 02:09:55.680
<v Speaker 22>deal with ourselves first. When you're you're better, when you're

2205
02:09:55.720 --> 02:09:58.279
<v Speaker 22>a good version of you, you will you know, you'll

2206
02:09:58.319 --> 02:10:03.359
<v Speaker 22>attract that. So that's my short input in the last

2207
02:10:03.439 --> 02:10:05.800
<v Speaker 22>minute dot com that's wonderful.

2208
02:10:06.039 --> 02:10:09.199
<v Speaker 7>Thank you appreciate that, Thank you very much. Shall go

2209
02:10:09.279 --> 02:10:11.399
<v Speaker 7>your hand, And I think that's maybe the last the

2210
02:10:11.479 --> 02:10:12.000
<v Speaker 7>last point.

2211
02:10:12.079 --> 02:10:15.199
<v Speaker 4>And then I just got like some advice quickly in

2212
02:10:15.279 --> 02:10:17.800
<v Speaker 4>my first a bit of advice.

2213
02:10:17.840 --> 02:10:21.680
<v Speaker 10>Would we always pray, Yeah, but like individually and together

2214
02:10:21.720 --> 02:10:24.760
<v Speaker 10>as a couple as well. And patience. I had to

2215
02:10:24.840 --> 02:10:27.479
<v Speaker 10>learn patience. I had to learn if we're having a

2216
02:10:27.560 --> 02:10:30.880
<v Speaker 10>disagreement and he doesn't want to respond straight away, I

2217
02:10:31.000 --> 02:10:32.920
<v Speaker 10>have to give him the time and the space to

2218
02:10:33.039 --> 02:10:35.199
<v Speaker 10>do that because I'm just I want to talk now,

2219
02:10:35.279 --> 02:10:37.960
<v Speaker 10>and he's like he needs time to process what's going on.

2220
02:10:38.039 --> 02:10:41.520
<v Speaker 10>So I'll say, patience with everything in your relationship. And

2221
02:10:41.560 --> 02:10:44.239
<v Speaker 10>also my husband always says something very early on in

2222
02:10:44.279 --> 02:10:49.720
<v Speaker 10>our relationship because of that strong masculine energy that I had,

2223
02:10:49.960 --> 02:10:52.479
<v Speaker 10>maybe just happening to survive and stuff.

2224
02:10:52.880 --> 02:10:55.239
<v Speaker 4>He was like, he said to me one time, listen.

2225
02:10:55.439 --> 02:10:59.840
<v Speaker 10>People listen to react, but you have to listen to understand.

2226
02:11:00.600 --> 02:11:03.000
<v Speaker 10>Do you know so it's not about just thinking that

2227
02:11:03.079 --> 02:11:05.960
<v Speaker 10>someone's always attacking you, like let you said, and being defensive,

2228
02:11:06.079 --> 02:11:09.039
<v Speaker 10>but listen and really trying to understand what the other

2229
02:11:09.119 --> 02:11:11.359
<v Speaker 10>person is saying, because how are we going to know

2230
02:11:11.479 --> 02:11:14.239
<v Speaker 10>if we're not listening. And it's a human nature to

2231
02:11:14.319 --> 02:11:17.199
<v Speaker 10>be defensive, it's human nature to want to protect yourself.

2232
02:11:17.119 --> 02:11:19.840
<v Speaker 4>But you have to listen in order to then come

2233
02:11:19.960 --> 02:11:22.520
<v Speaker 4>back and work through whatever you're going through. So I

2234
02:11:22.560 --> 02:11:26.680
<v Speaker 4>would say, pray, patience and listen so understand.

2235
02:11:26.319 --> 02:11:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Not to yet deflue.

2236
02:11:28.319 --> 02:11:31.600
<v Speaker 7>And that's a wonderful point to end on. Oh, we've

2237
02:11:31.680 --> 02:11:33.840
<v Speaker 7>come to the end of our show. We've got a

2238
02:11:33.880 --> 02:11:36.399
<v Speaker 7>little bit longer because you've got the time and there

2239
02:11:36.479 --> 02:11:37.319
<v Speaker 7>was just so much to.

2240
02:11:39.000 --> 02:11:39.399
<v Speaker 1>Listen to.

2241
02:11:39.720 --> 02:11:42.319
<v Speaker 7>The insights have been fantastic, So I want to thank

2242
02:11:42.359 --> 02:11:45.079
<v Speaker 7>everybody who's been on our panel today. Really appreciate your

2243
02:11:45.159 --> 02:11:48.840
<v Speaker 7>time and definitely you know, your insights into how we

2244
02:11:48.920 --> 02:11:50.279
<v Speaker 7>can make our relationships better.

2245
02:11:50.600 --> 02:11:52.079
<v Speaker 1>I have been scribbling in my notebook.

2246
02:11:52.079 --> 02:11:54.439
<v Speaker 7>There's been lots of key things here, so I'm going

2247
02:11:54.520 --> 02:11:56.319
<v Speaker 7>to go away and kind of, you know, unpack a

2248
02:11:56.359 --> 02:12:00.520
<v Speaker 7>lot of that as well for myself. But ultimately, you know,

2249
02:12:00.680 --> 02:12:05.199
<v Speaker 7>relationships can be successful. You know, we've heard about you know,

2250
02:12:05.319 --> 02:12:07.279
<v Speaker 7>and shadow you mentioned earlier, you know, sort of meeting

2251
02:12:07.319 --> 02:12:09.159
<v Speaker 7>a couple of being mad for something like seventy years.

2252
02:12:09.479 --> 02:12:12.560
<v Speaker 7>I think that is when you hear those kind of numbers,

2253
02:12:12.680 --> 02:12:15.560
<v Speaker 7>it's just amazing, you know, And they may have seen

2254
02:12:15.680 --> 02:12:17.640
<v Speaker 7>so much, gone through so much, and there's so much

2255
02:12:17.680 --> 02:12:20.359
<v Speaker 7>we can learn from those experiences. But wherever you are

2256
02:12:21.000 --> 02:12:23.079
<v Speaker 7>in your relationships, it may just be about how you

2257
02:12:23.159 --> 02:12:26.880
<v Speaker 7>build your friendships and how you maybe are then moving

2258
02:12:27.000 --> 02:12:31.960
<v Speaker 7>into more romantic relationships and you know, hopefully leading to

2259
02:12:32.119 --> 02:12:34.760
<v Speaker 7>marriage if that's what you desire, that we can be

2260
02:12:34.840 --> 02:12:40.000
<v Speaker 7>successful in those But ultimately, as everybody has said, you know,

2261
02:12:40.239 --> 02:12:42.600
<v Speaker 7>God has to be at the center, it has to

2262
02:12:42.680 --> 02:12:45.479
<v Speaker 7>be God first, and it's your relationship with Him and

2263
02:12:45.560 --> 02:12:48.079
<v Speaker 7>the reflection of his love and his grace and his

2264
02:12:48.199 --> 02:12:50.840
<v Speaker 7>mercy and his kindness that we can share to others

2265
02:12:51.319 --> 02:12:55.640
<v Speaker 7>and can enable us to have those those amazing relationships

2266
02:12:55.680 --> 02:12:58.680
<v Speaker 7>that He desires for us. I well, I thank you

2267
02:12:58.840 --> 02:13:02.920
<v Speaker 7>for joining us talking point. We spoke a lot about God.

2268
02:13:03.000 --> 02:13:05.079
<v Speaker 7>So if this is something that you may be knew

2269
02:13:05.199 --> 02:13:07.079
<v Speaker 7>for you that you may be hearing, do get in

2270
02:13:07.119 --> 02:13:09.319
<v Speaker 7>contact with the studio and we'd love to be able

2271
02:13:09.359 --> 02:13:12.119
<v Speaker 7>to help you explore what a relationship with God will

2272
02:13:12.199 --> 02:13:14.520
<v Speaker 7>look like. So you can contact us on studio ad

2273
02:13:14.600 --> 02:13:17.319
<v Speaker 7>Adventist Radio dot London, or you can send us a

2274
02:13:17.359 --> 02:13:20.600
<v Speaker 7>text message on eight triple two eight write hope and

2275
02:13:20.640 --> 02:13:23.199
<v Speaker 7>then your message, or we can send a WhatsApp zero

2276
02:13:23.279 --> 02:13:27.039
<v Speaker 7>seven four five nine six four two eight nine nine eight.

2277
02:13:27.159 --> 02:13:29.119
<v Speaker 7>Do get in contact if you want to know more

2278
02:13:29.720 --> 02:13:31.520
<v Speaker 7>about some of the things we've been talking about, and

2279
02:13:31.600 --> 02:13:33.800
<v Speaker 7>somebody will get back to you. I want to thank

2280
02:13:33.840 --> 02:13:37.159
<v Speaker 7>you all for joining us and really appreciate your time

2281
02:13:37.560 --> 02:13:41.319
<v Speaker 7>and really appreciate the contributions that you've made, and I

2282
02:13:41.399 --> 02:13:44.960
<v Speaker 7>hope it's been beneficial to you. I want to throw

2283
02:13:45.000 --> 02:13:46.720
<v Speaker 7>it out there. Would any really love to like to

2284
02:13:46.800 --> 02:13:48.359
<v Speaker 7>pray for us to clothes?

2285
02:13:50.840 --> 02:13:53.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Great pleasure, Thank you? Okay, all right, let's.

2286
02:13:53.800 --> 02:13:58.119
<v Speaker 22>Pray merciful Father in heaven. We just want to thank you,

2287
02:13:58.800 --> 02:14:01.199
<v Speaker 22>because Father, you're the one that put it in our

2288
02:14:01.279 --> 02:14:02.800
<v Speaker 22>hearts to have these discussions.

2289
02:14:03.479 --> 02:14:03.720
<v Speaker 2>Father.

2290
02:14:03.880 --> 02:14:07.119
<v Speaker 22>Many times we choose someone who we believe is our

2291
02:14:07.199 --> 02:14:10.000
<v Speaker 22>life partners and Father, the sad reality is that we

2292
02:14:10.239 --> 02:14:12.000
<v Speaker 22>chose and we didn't consult to you.

2293
02:14:12.560 --> 02:14:12.760
<v Speaker 4>Father.

2294
02:14:12.800 --> 02:14:15.920
<v Speaker 22>I'm praying for all the information, for all the insight

2295
02:14:16.039 --> 02:14:18.720
<v Speaker 22>given today, Father, that many will go away.

2296
02:14:18.840 --> 02:14:19.720
<v Speaker 2>Father, even those.

2297
02:14:19.560 --> 02:14:22.279
<v Speaker 22>Who will hear the podcast will go away, and Father

2298
02:14:22.399 --> 02:14:24.359
<v Speaker 22>be benefited by the information.

2299
02:14:24.039 --> 02:14:24.680
<v Speaker 1>That they receive.

2300
02:14:24.760 --> 02:14:27.359
<v Speaker 22>Father, we recognize that you are a God of love

2301
02:14:27.800 --> 02:14:30.319
<v Speaker 22>and you intend for us to have beautiful relationships. Father

2302
02:14:30.680 --> 02:14:32.960
<v Speaker 22>that will be a beacon to the world that they

2303
02:14:33.000 --> 02:14:35.680
<v Speaker 22>may know that we serve a living God. Father, bless

2304
02:14:35.760 --> 02:14:37.640
<v Speaker 22>us and keep us and help us to not just

2305
02:14:37.720 --> 02:14:39.439
<v Speaker 22>to be hearers, but to be doers of what we've

2306
02:14:39.479 --> 02:14:42.079
<v Speaker 22>heard tonight. Thank you for the hosts, continue to bless,

2307
02:14:42.119 --> 02:14:44.039
<v Speaker 22>to keep and to watch over her to grant her

2308
02:14:44.079 --> 02:14:47.479
<v Speaker 22>revelation knowledge. And for each one that partic took tonight. Lord,

2309
02:14:47.520 --> 02:14:50.199
<v Speaker 22>I'm praying that you move in their hearts and minds

2310
02:14:50.239 --> 02:14:52.960
<v Speaker 22>that Father, everything that will go over to make themselves

2311
02:14:53.000 --> 02:14:54.239
<v Speaker 22>a better version of.

2312
02:14:54.319 --> 02:14:55.279
<v Speaker 2>What you would have them to be.

2313
02:14:55.479 --> 02:14:59.000
<v Speaker 22>So help us as we strive daily that hope that

2314
02:14:59.199 --> 02:15:01.439
<v Speaker 22>glory which is nice in us, the hope of glory

2315
02:15:01.760 --> 02:15:04.880
<v Speaker 22>will shine through and we will be the better individual

2316
02:15:05.840 --> 02:15:07.119
<v Speaker 22>as we await your second coming.

2317
02:15:07.199 --> 02:15:10.039
<v Speaker 2>Thank you again for podcast. Bless and guide and keep us.

2318
02:15:10.079 --> 02:15:11.680
<v Speaker 2>We pray in your mighty name.

2319
02:15:12.119 --> 02:15:18.159
<v Speaker 7>Amen, Amen, Amen, Thank you once again, Thank you everybody

2320
02:15:18.319 --> 02:15:21.199
<v Speaker 7>for joining us. Next week we'll be continuing this discussion

2321
02:15:21.560 --> 02:15:24.439
<v Speaker 7>as any did mention earlier. We'll be talking to some

2322
02:15:25.239 --> 02:15:27.760
<v Speaker 7>younger people and I'd say that in the sense of,

2323
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<v Speaker 7>you know, we've noticed a lot of differences within our generations,

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02:15:32.520 --> 02:15:36.319
<v Speaker 7>so we'll hopefully have more discussions on how we can

2325
02:15:36.399 --> 02:15:39.720
<v Speaker 7>develop successful relationships. We'll be bringing some of these tips

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02:15:39.720 --> 02:15:41.680
<v Speaker 7>and actually sort of throwing it out there to sort

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02:15:41.680 --> 02:15:43.920
<v Speaker 7>of see whether this is something that they can get

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02:15:43.960 --> 02:15:47.199
<v Speaker 7>on board with or they would find useful. So but

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<v Speaker 7>I thank you for joining us. I pray that you

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<v Speaker 7>will enjoy the rest of your evening and we'll have

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02:15:52.399 --> 02:15:55.279
<v Speaker 7>a good start to your week. Do tune into Advantage

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02:15:55.359 --> 02:15:57.640
<v Speaker 7>Radio London and the rest of the weekend there's more

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<v Speaker 7>live shows on. But I'm going to leave you today

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<v Speaker 7>with Jonathan Buttt Reynolds loving me because that's indeed what

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<v Speaker 7>God does.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you and good night. It's been talking point and

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for joining us. Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for

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<v Speaker 1>the song