1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Tell me what you loft was like before you died. 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,839 Speaker 2: I met my husband, married him, moved to Chicago from 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,679 LA We worked in TV for most of my career 4 00:00:14,839 --> 00:00:18,719 and I worked extremely well under pressure. My husband's a PhD. 5 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,199 Economists from University of Chicago, very level headed, very grounded. 6 00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:24,760 And we get married and I moved to Chicago and 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,280 we have our first child, and it was a difficult 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,719 process having children. So I had to go through IVF, 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,439 which is in mutual fertilization. It's done outside and inside 10 00:00:33,439 --> 00:00:36,359 of the body, and we had after three rounds of IVF, 11 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,719 we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl after and the 12 00:00:39,759 --> 00:00:42,039 only complication I had was that she was too big 13 00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:43,759 and I had to have a c section, But it 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:48,920 wasn't complicated other than that. And then the second child, Jacob, 15 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,759 that I got pregnant with, that was after seven rounds 16 00:00:51,759 --> 00:00:55,200 of IVF and first half of the pregnancy. The first 17 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,159 twenty weeks of the pregnancy no problem. We had no issue, 18 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,920 and at the twenty week old sound, I was diagnosed 19 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,480 with something called a placenta previa, which is basically where 20 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:07,359 the placenta is growing on top of the cervix. However, 21 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,159 when the doctor said, I had this placenta previa. 22 00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: It startled me and I look at my husband. 23 00:01:11,799 --> 00:01:13,719 Speaker 2: I said, I have a very rare blood type O 24 00:01:13,879 --> 00:01:17,319 negative and which is seven percent of the population. I said, 25 00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:19,400 I don't want to be special in any other category. 26 00:01:19,439 --> 00:01:22,280 And I have a bad feeling about this. So I 27 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,000 get back to the apartment and I'm typing on a 28 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:25,879 placenta previa. 29 00:01:26,079 --> 00:01:29,799 Speaker 1: What's that then turns? If it happens to turn into 30 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,159 a placenta a creedo. If that happens, you might bleed. 31 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,439 Speaker 2: If that happens, as I keep reading, you might hemorrhage. 32 00:01:37,719 --> 00:01:41,159 If that happened, you might need a hysterectomy. And if 33 00:01:41,159 --> 00:01:44,400 that happens during the hemorrhage, you and the baby could 34 00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:47,319 lose your life. And I sat back and I looked 35 00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:49,159 at the computer and I telled my husband. 36 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,959 Speaker 1: I said, this is going to happen to us. 37 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,359 Speaker 2: The only difference is the baby's going to be fine, 38 00:01:53,519 --> 00:01:54,879 I said, but I'm going to be dead on the 39 00:01:54,879 --> 00:01:57,760 opgraading table. I didn't just talk to him. I talked 40 00:01:57,799 --> 00:02:01,719 to everybody. I talked to nurses, doctors, you know, every 41 00:02:01,879 --> 00:02:04,519 visit I had. I told that the doctors this was 42 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,319 going to happen. This was going to happen there, like Stephanie, 43 00:02:06,319 --> 00:02:07,959 there's no indication that this is going to happen. 44 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: And in their defense, the tests were negative. 45 00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: So at some point I was told that if I 46 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,639 deliver and I have an emergency situation where I need 47 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,400 a hysterectomy, my ob will not be the one to. 48 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: Do the procedure. They will transfer to maternal fetal medicine. 49 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,159 Speaker 2: And with that it's an information, and armed with that, 50 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,960 I made an appointment with the head of Guyanag at 51 00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:31,520 Northwestern Memorial Hospital. It is not easy to get an 52 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,199 appointment with a Guyana, the head of guya when you 53 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,719 are not suffering from any kind of cancer. So ultimately 54 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,639 Jonathan went with me to each and every appointment with me. 55 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,960 So he's sitting with me in this waiting room with 56 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,759 all of these women and so they have ivs in 57 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,080 their arm, they have no hair on their head, they 58 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,840 have their suffering from from cancer and they're barely surviving it. 59 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,319 So we go in, we meet the head of Guayanan. 60 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,520 He's like, miss Arno, how can I help you? The 61 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,319 resident is taking notes and because I explained my persent 62 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,400 of previous is going to turn into any creta, I'm 63 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,000 going to need a hysterect to me. My husband likes 64 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,599 to say that it was very mafia like. It's like 65 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,159 I see you, you see me, you're my doctor. All 66 00:03:10,199 --> 00:03:12,960 I did was focused on, like how am I going 67 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,479 to say? No one is listening to me, so I 68 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,120 have to do this. My daughter was a year and 69 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,039 a half too, and I was taking on a stroller 70 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,680 and you know, we were walking across the park and 71 00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:25,120 it was a winter day and I was explaining. 72 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,719 Speaker 1: How the fountain when it's flowing is beautiful. 73 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 2: And then the fountain turned in my mind's eye of 74 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,439 blood and started rushing and I felt it. So then 75 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,319 I'm like I had a visceral reaction to a hemorrhage 76 00:03:36,319 --> 00:03:37,080 in my body. 77 00:03:37,599 --> 00:03:40,199 Speaker 1: And I grabbed this and I called my husband. I 78 00:03:40,199 --> 00:03:42,280 said meet me in the in the emergency room. 79 00:03:42,759 --> 00:03:45,039 Speaker 2: So I go to the emergency room and they triaged 80 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,639 me and they're like, miss Arnold, are you okay? 81 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: I said no, I'm bleeding, and you know. 82 00:03:48,439 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 2: I was wearing black leggings. I have no idea, and 83 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,159 so they were like, no, you're not amnantic. Fluid's fine, 84 00:03:53,159 --> 00:03:55,919 Everything's fine. And my husband's like thank God, it's just 85 00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:57,039 it's a false alarm. 86 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,639 Speaker 1: So at thirty six weeks to the day. 87 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 2: My husband is on a business trip and I'm giving 88 00:04:02,639 --> 00:04:06,400 my daughter breakfast and I start leaning on the kitchen 89 00:04:06,439 --> 00:04:09,319 floor and I know that today's the day. So I 90 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,319 sent him a text saying, you know, we're going to 91 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,960 deliver today, and so he stops meeting. 92 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: He gets on a plane wor skype chatting. 93 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 2: When I'm triage at the hospital, the doctor said, you know, 94 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,240 the oars are very quiet right now. 95 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: I know you've been stressed this whole time. Let's go 96 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,319 ahead and get Jacob out. 97 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,519 Speaker 2: Adina was playing and you know I kissed her a 98 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,920 million times because I was convinced it was the last 99 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,920 time I was ever going to see her. So they 100 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,759 take me down to the r I tell my doctor 101 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,720 there was something wrong. You need to put me under 102 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,600 general anesthesia, and she's like, I'm not going to put. 103 00:04:40,519 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: You to sleep. 104 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,959 Speaker 2: I know you're nervous, but because John is not here, 105 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,279 but I'm here for you. If I put you to 106 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,360 sleep up with the baby to sleep, it's not good. 107 00:04:47,759 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: So they set me up. 108 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 2: When you have a c section, your arms are in 109 00:04:52,079 --> 00:04:54,639 a tee. There's a curtain in front of your face. 110 00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:57,600 The room is really cold, and it's phone chilling cold 111 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,560 for me because the fear is palpable now because I 112 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,600 know the minute that he gets delivered. They no one 113 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,199 else can see it, no one else. Everybody is looking 114 00:05:06,199 --> 00:05:08,720 at the clock doing their job you'd. 115 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,759 Speaker 1: Call doing roll call. 116 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,279 Speaker 2: Everything else they cut, They take care of Jacob. Jacob's delivered, 117 00:05:14,319 --> 00:05:17,920 happy and healthy, no problem, and seconds later I went 118 00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:20,160 into cardiac arrest. I ended up having a very rare 119 00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:23,680 pregnancy complication called an amniotic fluid embolism, and it's a 120 00:05:23,759 --> 00:05:26,279 one in forty thousand risks where amniotic cells get into 121 00:05:26,319 --> 00:05:29,199 the mother's bloodstream and if you happen to be allergic 122 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,680 to it, your body goes in tanaphylactic shock, and in 123 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,480 most cases you don't make it. I am the first 124 00:05:34,639 --> 00:05:37,920 to have survived at that time from full blown AFY. 125 00:05:38,319 --> 00:05:40,959 And there was something in the operating room. I predicted 126 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,199 a lot, but there was something in the operating room 127 00:05:43,199 --> 00:05:45,120 I did not predict, and that was there was a 128 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,839 crash cart and there was extra blood available and I 129 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,120 needed both of them. I f thattline for thirty seven seconds. 130 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,959 Speaker 1: They got me back up. They intubated me. 131 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 2: And tape my eyeshut, and then the second part of 132 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,720 an AFI starts, which is your body's inability to clot 133 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,720 blowood and so your normal body has twenty units of blood. 134 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,040 I was given sixty units of blood and blood product 135 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:05,839 to save my life. 136 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: I'm on life support. They put me in a medically. 137 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 2: Induced coma, and seven hours later show that I'm still bleeding, 138 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,480 and they call in the guynock that I had met 139 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,199 with to perform the hysterectomy. They do the pathology on 140 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,160 the universe and they show that a creta had started 141 00:06:19,199 --> 00:06:19,600 to form. 142 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,199 Speaker 1: So on day six, I had kidney failure. 143 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 2: As soon as they extibated me, I looked down at 144 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,800 my swollen belly because I'm severely endemic. I look still pregnant, 145 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,839 but I was in the hospital for a month and 146 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,839 it was hard for me to process everything. 147 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: So I get home. 148 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,199 Speaker 2: You know, I'm trying to acclimate friends, family, shell shock. 149 00:06:41,399 --> 00:06:43,519 So a friend of mine, Latina friend of mine said, 150 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,000 I think you should go meet with this Cuban a 151 00:06:46,079 --> 00:06:52,040 regression therapist, and regression uses hypnotherapy to take you back 152 00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:53,560 into the moments of trauma. 153 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: So what the hopes are. 154 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,319 Speaker 2: Is that you could be the observer in those traumas. 155 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,240 It's like your memory, all right. Those memories are like 156 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,000 film strips stored in your head, and through the hypnosis 157 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,439 you can access them. The pain will not be as 158 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,079 severe as it was the first time around. And I 159 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,639 really wanted to understand what happened during those three months before, 160 00:07:12,839 --> 00:07:16,879 and so I videotaped my therapy. I mean we did 161 00:07:16,879 --> 00:07:19,600 it over Skype. I had split screens. I was like, 162 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,399 let me document everything. I didn't know if I'd remember anything. 163 00:07:22,439 --> 00:07:27,279 I'd never been hypnotized before. We'll be right back after 164 00:07:27,319 --> 00:07:33,399 a word from our sponsor, and now back to the show. 165 00:07:35,399 --> 00:07:38,360 And so you know, it took well over thirty hours 166 00:07:38,399 --> 00:07:40,839 of therapy to get me finally back into the arm. 167 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,480 And when she did it, my body convulse and sees 168 00:07:44,759 --> 00:07:47,000 And then I started explaining what I saw with a 169 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,759 complete out of body experience. And which nurse hit the 170 00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:51,879 button for the cove, which nurse jumped on my chest 171 00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:54,240 to give me CPR. What my doctor was doing down 172 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,560 by my feet, what the anstesiologist was doing down by 173 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,480 the feet, Well, my daughter was doing down the hall 174 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,079 in the labor and delivery room. What my husband was 175 00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:02,759 wearing when I go off the plane, what my mother 176 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,240 was doing when I was the third day of my coma. 177 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,879 Speaker 1: Like there were just all these little things. 178 00:08:08,199 --> 00:08:11,639 Speaker 2: And when I got done with that session, there was 179 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,120 the sense of relief, like I felt better because not 180 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,360 only did I see all this, I saw hundreds of spirits, 181 00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:20,800 and these spirits were not like And this was in 182 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,720 this moment of flatline where somebody said, oh, did you 183 00:08:23,759 --> 00:08:24,279 see the light? 184 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I was an observer watching what 185 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:27,600 was going down. 186 00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,759 Speaker 2: I saw my body on the table, and then I 187 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,120 saw my spirit perpendicular, and then as I flatline, I 188 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,120 see a shooting start. Now, maybe if I was the 189 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:37,039 eyes of spirit, I would have seen a. 190 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: Tunnel of light. 191 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 2: I don't know, but that's not what I saw. But 192 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,279 I went to this heavenly place. It was not I 193 00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:45,600 didn't see God. I didn't see buildings, but I saw 194 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,879 hundreds of spirits and they were like two steps up, 195 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,840 like almost a gathering of congregation and people that I knew, 196 00:08:51,039 --> 00:08:53,360 and that was lovely. And then there were people that 197 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:56,639 I didn't know, and one being his father, Jonathan's father. 198 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,240 And so when I explained that I saw his father 199 00:09:00,399 --> 00:09:02,080 and then he had a message because he had a 200 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,799 specific coin and he had this tweed jacket, and I 201 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,799 was describing the details to the tweed jacket and describing 202 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,360 the details to the point because the point was a 203 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,919 foreign point and his father was a foreign service officer 204 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:13,559 and a diplomat. 205 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:14,159 Speaker 1: So it's pop. 206 00:09:14,279 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 2: You know, maybe I could have made shit up in 207 00:09:16,519 --> 00:09:19,000 my head. But he was like, tell, my father said 208 00:09:19,039 --> 00:09:20,559 high right, and my father never had. 209 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: A tweet jacket, right. 210 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, fine, forget about the jacket. What about 211 00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:25,840 the coin? And he's like, I don't know what you're 212 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,480 talking about, Stefane. So, like all these things, I take that. 213 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,960 So I take the tapes of the doctors. The doctors 214 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,559 were like, you shouldn't know any of this. It's accurate 215 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,720 down to where we're standing, what we were doing. Because 216 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,840 I said to my doctor, did you say this can't 217 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,200 be happening, This can't be happening. 218 00:09:40,399 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: She's like I did, but. 219 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,879 Speaker 2: In my head, and so in her she was down 220 00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:47,399 by my feet on her mask, covering her mouth like 221 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,399 saying and in her mask, there's no way, you know, 222 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,360 like with all the. 223 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: Commotion and the chaos and the screaming. 224 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,639 Speaker 2: And everything that there's no way that I would have 225 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,720 heard any of it. And then this nurse one I 226 00:09:58,759 --> 00:10:01,039 want to thank every Bundy. When I went to stay 227 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,960 hi to the doctors, the listenerse came up to me 228 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,480 and she said, you know, miss Arnold, you don't know 229 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,039 who I am, but it's really nice to see you 230 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:06,759 walking again. 231 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: And I was like, you broke my ribs and she said, 232 00:10:09,639 --> 00:10:11,360 and I do it again to save your life. 233 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,759 Speaker 2: And I was told later that she went back to 234 00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:16,279 her office and cried for a long time because I 235 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,960 shouldn't know that she was the one that gave me 236 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,480 the CPR. And so it was accurate down to it, 237 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,399 I said, And there wasn't just one crash cart, there 238 00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,720 were two crash parts and she's like, I don't know 239 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,279 about that, and then they went back and checked it 240 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:30,120 and it was absolutely accurate. And so to me, there's 241 00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:33,399 no question. Not only does consciousness exist because the brain 242 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,320 starts shutting down after twenty seconds, and yes, hearing is 243 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,159 the last to go, but I most certainly couldn't have seen, 244 00:10:39,399 --> 00:10:41,639 and my eyes were tape shut and I was on 245 00:10:41,759 --> 00:10:44,440 life support, and there were just a lot of things 246 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:49,240 that happened. The actual afterlife, the actual consciousness and what 247 00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:51,240 you're seeing, you're floating. 248 00:10:51,279 --> 00:10:53,279 Speaker 1: I mean, people talk about astrol travel. 249 00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 2: They talk about the ability to feel things empathically around them, 250 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,399 those spirits around you, and I continue to feel that 251 00:11:00,799 --> 00:11:06,399 there is a pleasant vibration around that. The sadness I felt, 252 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,279 and what I feel like a lot of people are 253 00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:10,799 when they're afraid of death, is that they'll never physically 254 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,519 be able to touch their loved once again, that there 255 00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:16,320 will be a gaping hole in their life because they 256 00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:19,399 life goes on and they are not there physically to 257 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,799 take up space, but they do matter and they do exist, 258 00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:26,440 and we go from a solid to a gas, you know, 259 00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:29,720 and so we're still around. We're still we're still made 260 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,799 of energy. We just transition from one form to another. 261 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,279 So I've learned how to ground myself differently. But it's 262 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,120 also taken it's been a process to accept that what 263 00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:42,480 this is is real because for the longest time, and 264 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,600 being married to who I'm married, and then also questioning, like, 265 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,799 you know, what happens. 266 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 3: If I didn't speak up, like what happened, if I 267 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,519 didn't believe what was filmed with what happens if I 268 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,360 were you and saying Okay, I'm crazy, you know, like 269 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,840 I'm just going to shut up because obviously the tests 270 00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,759 are negative. 271 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,759 Speaker 2: You know that scares me periodically because I'm like, I 272 00:12:03,799 --> 00:12:06,559 am intuitive enough to feel it, or I was given 273 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:10,960 those messages that I was intuitive enough to listen to them, 274 00:12:11,159 --> 00:12:15,519 and if I didn't, and what happens again, if it happened, 275 00:12:15,519 --> 00:12:17,600 if other things happen, if I choose. 276 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 1: To ignore them, what will the outcome be? 277 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 2: And so I no longer question that it's not real 278 00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:26,960 because for I think I wanted to question the validity 279 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,200 of it all and thinking that I made it up, 280 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,559 which is also the reason why I documented. 281 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,039 Speaker 1: Everything along the way. 282 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,639 Speaker 2: I'm like, I have to keep myself so honest about 283 00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:39,320 every single process because as a reality producer, you know, 284 00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:42,320 we do enhanced reality, and I'm like, this is my 285 00:12:42,399 --> 00:12:46,919 own reality in this enhanced org, like in this supercharged world, 286 00:12:46,919 --> 00:12:49,679 this can't be real. And so if you start imagining 287 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,399 where your brain and where I've been in TV since 288 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,639 I was fourteen. 289 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: Like it's impossible to believe this is real. 290 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,039 Speaker 2: But thank god everything, Like I was constantly with all 291 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,720 everyone I told the Facebook, posting the goodbye letters, like 292 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,559 everything is so well documented. In order to keep me 293 00:13:08,639 --> 00:13:11,480 honest about it, I was very I'm like, oh, I. 294 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: Made this shit up, right. 295 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 2: I was like, I made it up and no one 296 00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:16,919 will let me get away with that ever, and that's good.