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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, tell me when we're rolling. Yeah, okay, welcome back, besties,

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Welcome to Talkin' Schmid. It is your mother, Brittany Schmidt.

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I'm so excited to be here with you this holiday week.

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Happy ho ho holidays. I hope you guys this week

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is off to a great start. I have a few

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announcements before we hop into the podcast. First and foremost

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upcoming shows. I want to see you guys on the road.

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I'm working out my new hour and I'm having a

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lot of fun with it. Threat So come hang out

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with mother. January seventh, Portland, Oregon, January eighth, Seattle, Washington,

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January twenty seventh, Ralling, North Carolina, January twenty eighth, Austin, Texas,

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January twenty ninth, Nashville, Tennessee, February thirteenth to the fourteenth.

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I'm in Janesville, Wisconsin. I have some European dates. Those

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are all on my site at Brittany Schmidt dot com

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b ri T T A N Y S E h

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M I T T dot com. There's no D in

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that last name. I took all those in college. Okay, okay,

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all right, you guys. I have something we need to

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talk about immediately because I am an idiot. I am

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the dumbest person I've ever met, and listen, I did

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a thing and I thought, you know, I'm a big girl.

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I can do things on my own, and uh huh,

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turns out I can't. So I have been promoting my

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special that it's coming out on OnlyFans TV and it's

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also going to be out on my YouTube, and guess what,

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if you guys want to go find it on my YouTube,

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it's not there because I found out three days before

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I was supposed to launch it that I signed a

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contract I didn't fully understand and I can't put it

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on my YouTube for a year. So it is on

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OnlyFans TV, which is I know a lot of you

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don't watch that don't have it. It's free. You can

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go watch it. You just have to make an account.

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There's no money, there's no strings attached, there's no commercials.

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It's an exclusive special. I would love if you guys

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went and watched it, because I really do love this

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special and I'm super proud of it, and my dad's

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in it, and it was just so special to me

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and I was so excited to share it with everyone.

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I still am. I'm a little bummed obviously that it's

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not coming out where I thought it would be coming out.

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But you know, this is why, this is why I

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don't do things on my own. This is why I

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need parental guidance at all times. And guess what, my

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mom's dead, so I don't get any It's just me

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and myself and my mirror and my demons. And I'm

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like this fucking spider man. I'm like, we can do

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this without a lawyer, because baby girl wanted to save

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that ten percent. You know, I don't know if you

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guys know how contracts work in LA, but when you

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have an agent and you have a lawyer and you

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have a manager, you have to pay them all ten percent.

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And I was like, look at all this money I'm

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getting offered. It wasn't that much. I'll be honest, it

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wasn't that much. But I was like, I can do

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this on my own and I don't need to call

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my lawyer, and I am a big girl, and I

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have chat GPT and we can figure this out. And

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guess what. I didn't actually even run it through chat

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GPT because if I had, it would have told me, hey, bitch,

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hey bitch ding dong. No, you can't put this on

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anything for a year. So I'm an idiot. Listen. I

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took the word of the person that I was communicating

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with and I asked them point blank, can I put

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this on my YouTube? And they said yes, and then

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they changed their tune. So listen, I'm an idiot. I'm

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an idiot. I don't know what else to say. I

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love this special. I had so much fun making it.

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I actually really loved the jokes, which, like, for those

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of you who were with me on the journey with

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the last podcast, you know, I fucking hated Horny that

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last special I put out, that cursed fucking special I

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put out. I hated it, and I kind of thought, like,

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I'm gonna put it out and people might like it,

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and then I'll come back around to it and I'll

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be like, you know what, it wasn't that bad? Uh huh.

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I've watched it a few times since then. It's as

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bad as I remember being. But this one isn't. This

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one I had so much fun with and I think

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it's just like a different part of my life. I'm

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so much lighter. I'm fucking medicated. Like if you look

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at Horny. You can tell that's a clinically depressed person

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that's about to hang themselves with the mic ord as

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their fucking final act. Like, I'm surprised I didn't put

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it around my neck, kick the stool out from under

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me and be like Tartar like as my last act.

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So listen, I just am in a different place from

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the last special I filmed this special. I really did

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have so much fun with it, and I really wanted

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everyone to be able to see it on YouTube because

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I know that's so much more accessible than OnlyFans TV.

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But OnlyFans has by and large been great partners. And

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if I would have read the goddamn contract, I would

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have known that I couldn't put it out or I

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wanted to put it out, but I didn't because I

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am just a girl. I'm just a girl in a

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big world, and it's very scary. Anyway. I'll never do

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anything without in my lawyer again. And this was a

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lesson for me, and I will say this because we

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like to go on emotional journeys together. When I got

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the text message because I posted on my story, I

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was like specials out on YouTube and only Fans TV

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in a couple days and I got a text from

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someone at only Fans being like, hey, it's not coming

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out on YouTube. My fucking everything inside of me went

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like what, Like, what the fuck are you talking? The

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rage washed over me and was I on an airplane? Yes?

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And when we're on airplanes are we more emotional? Yes.

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I was ready to fucking hijack the plane and crash

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it into the fucking Sahara. I wasn't flying over the Sahara,

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but you get it. I would have crushed it into

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wherever we were. I was so angry for like four minutes,

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four minutes I had rage just cooking and churning and

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twisting and making me uncomfortable. And I felt stupid and

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I felt dumb, and I just was like and then

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something just clicked and it just released, and it was

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just that little voice that said, nothing matters. We're all

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gonna die, you know, Like really, I think, like so

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much of what we talk about and go through on

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this podcast is I'm like, yeah, half of your life

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is what happens to you. The other half is how

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you react to it, right, And in that moment, my

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reaction was the only thing making the situation uncomfortable. I

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had a few ways to approach it. Did I want

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to send a violent fucking email, like a nasty fucking

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email with a sign off that said like choke on

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a fucking tic tac. Yeah? I did, But I was like,

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that is that gonna be the best? Is that gonna

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get me what I want? And ultimately what I want

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is for the special to be out in the world,

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for it to be as successful as possible. And I

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have no control over that anymore, like it was my job.

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And this reminds me of a book I read in

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the past. It's called Big Magic, and Big Magic talks

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a lot about the creative process and how incredibly difficult

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it can be, how rewarding it is sometimes just all

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assets of the creative process. And my job as an

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artist is to make the thing and put it out,

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and that is it. It is not my job to

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look at how people react to it. It is not

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my job. It's I cannot orchestrate whether or not it's

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a big hit or it's not. You know, I have

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no control, and so I really not to be like

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I'm so proud of myself, Like I'm not trying to

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huff my own shit here, Like I fucked up, but

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I was proud of myself that I didn't let it

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ruin my day. Like something just washed over me that

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was like kind of peace and calm, and I was like,

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you know what, No, we're not doing this. We're not

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going down this road again. We're not going to stress

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about something that we have no control over, because at

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the end of the day, we don't have control over anything.

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And the root of all suffering is the illusion of control.

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And so if I think, oh, if I put this

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thing out on YouTube, it's gonna be a way bigger hit,

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maybe I'm wrong, Like maybe I don't fucking know anything

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at all. And at the end of the day, I

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went into business with a company that really did right

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by me. I mean, they shot a beautiful special, they

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promoted the shit out of it, they hired pr they

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really did. You know, whatever you think about OnlyFans is

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none of my business, but they really were great partners.

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And because I didn't read the contract, I don't then

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have a right to be angry. Did someone at OnlyFans

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say that I could put it on YouTube when I

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explicitly asked, yeah, they did. But I think maybe there

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was a miscommunication about the twelve month period where it

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was an exclusive release on OnlyFans. So that's neither here

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nor there. But all I'm saying is I took a

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minute to just be like, let's not let this ruin

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my life. You know, I have so much going on.

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I am in the middle of a cross country move,

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I am launching a special I just started this podcast,

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which I'm so happy about. Like the feedback has been amazing.

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And I know I'm not historically someone who reads comments,

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but I read a lot of the comments, and so

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many of them are kind are there a few that

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are like, yeah, she sounds fucking crazy. Yeah, And I

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get that because guess what I am crazy and doing

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a podcast solo, you guys, is a mental illness. Like

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it's a totally different thing when you're sitting across from

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Frank kiking about life and being like ah ha ha

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ha as to like just me looking into the camera

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being like, b like this is I do quite often

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feel mentally ill. So if you get that feeling, just that,

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I'm feeling it too, and my feelings actually are not

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even hurt. Like if this podcast is not your cup

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of tea, that's okay. Like I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

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And I know the other podcast in what we had

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was so wonderful, so I get that this is a

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different thing. But I just have a lot going on

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right now. I didn't have time to panic about whether

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or not the world was going to see this special.

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Like ultimately, God's got it. And I hate to say

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that because I know some of you guys don't believe,

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and that's fine. Like I had such a hard time

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with the concept of a higher power for so long,

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and like the only way that I ever understood it.

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And maybe you've heard this story before, but like I

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was going through the twelve Steps, and twelve Steps has

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a lot of God talk, and I didn't like it.

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I was like allergic to it. I was like vomiting

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in my mouth about it. But I was doing the

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fourth step where I'm writing out all my resentments, which

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just I was burning a hole in the fucking page,

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and I'm like in this bitch from fourth grade and

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my countier and my fuck mom, Like I was so

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angry and enraged. And then Biggie started going crazy and

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he was barking at this gardener outside and he was

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like scared and his hair was standing up and he

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was freaking out, and I had just a moment of

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clarity where I was like, oh my God, if you

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zoom out, that's how my higher power looks at me.

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I'm Biggie. I'm the one freaking out in traffic, flipping

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people off, throwing my taco bell, fucking doctor Pepper into

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the open window of an Outia five when I'm elevated

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in a jeep and they're pissing me off. That's a crime.

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You shouldn't do that. That's crazy. I did that once.

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But that's how I finally understood God. So in like

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the greatest sense of the word. Like when I say

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God's got it, I just mean like I don't have it.

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There's I don't have it. I'm not in control. I've

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never been in control. I am aware that I'm the

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dumbest person in most rooms. So I just I can't

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even take on the responsibility of acting like I've got

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it because I don't. So God's got it cause I don't.

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Or maybe Biggie's got it, but probably not. He's cold

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and scared and he's not with us. He was just

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in my lap. And then he left because Mom started

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yep and again Anyway, you guys, it's the holidays. It's

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the holidays. It's beginning to feel a lot like fuck this.

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It's Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanza or whatever you celebrate.

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I hope you guys are having a great week. I'm

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gonna talk about some light, fun holiday stuff, and by

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that I mean no, I'm not. No, I'm fucking not.

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I'm going to talk about how much the holidays fucking suck. Okay,

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I know, listen, I love the idea of the Christmas spirit,

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I really do. But for me and my household, the holidays,

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Christmas was chaos. Christmas was my mom's super bowl to

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be a fucking cunt. So I just want you to know,

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if you have a difficult or challenging family dynamic that

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you have to now pay money to go hang out

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with them, that sucks, and that's hard, and traveling sucks

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and it's bad on your fucking body, and you're dehydrated

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and you're cramped and you're swollen and you're not feeling

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real good. And then you have to go home and

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deal with your uncle who's fucking wearing an ice uniform.

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You know, like, there's just Christmas canna be the worst.

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And I will say this about the holidays. From where

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I'm from, there's this very waspy and I don't know

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if it has a denomination. I don't know if it's

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Catholic that's what our family is, but it might be Christian.

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There's like this very waspy attitude of like nobody really

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addresses any issues, you know, they're always just like everything's

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surface level, and then beneath the surface is just like

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this seething hatred for everyone around you, and you have

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to pretend that you like them even then like deep

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down on a molecular level, you fucking don't you know

259
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what I mean? Like I go and tell you Christmas

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party and they're like, oh, how's the weather in LA?

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And I'm like, how's the weather? Grandpa's a pedophile, you know,

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Like what are we talking about here? We do not

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have the bandwidth to discuss the weather in LA, which

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is always amazing. I think we need to get into

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the root of what's wrong with this family, which is

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there has been some serious sex crimes that have happened,

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you know, Like I don't know, I don't know, that's

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just me. Maybe I'm being crazy everyone's just like hiding

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how they are. They're like, how are you, and it's like,

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I'm good.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's meanwhile like someone's like I'm good, and I'm like,

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but they what they really mean is like they spent

274
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all their money on DraftKings. They gambled on a fucking game.

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They're fresh out of cash, and they wish the bunt

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cake was lined with fentanyl. Laced with fentanyl. Like I

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we're all just hanging on by a fucking thread. Hang on,

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I have to cough. That's that cough is brought to

279
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:47,279
you by mister Fogg the Vabe. Anyway, it's the holidays.

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Everyone's hanging on by a fucking thread. We all have

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to go to these holiday gatherings, and it's these holiday

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gatherings are just an elaborate performance art piece to act

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like you're doing better than you are, because the holidays

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are a time like we get like three times the

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year to check in with our family and make sure

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we all still have a fucking pulse. And you want

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to go and you buy people expensive gifts you can't

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00:14:07,399 --> 00:14:09,600
afford to make them see it feel you know, to

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00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:13,320
make it look like you're doing better financially than you are,

290
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,559
and then you're just in crippling debt, in your stressed

291
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,960
and the credit card companies are calling and you can't

292
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,360
pay your fucking rent. Groceries are ten thousand dollars. Like,

293
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:28,080
being alive in this economy is tough, and holidays make

294
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,919
it tougher because you have to travel. You have to

295
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,399
spend money on flights, planes, trains, automobiles, however you're getting

296
00:14:34,399 --> 00:14:36,480
wherever you're going. You have to spend all of this

297
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,679
money to go hang out with people you don't actually

298
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,679
really fucking like, and you're not gonna talk about anything real.

299
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Nobody's gonna sit down. You know. I would love for

300
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,879
someone to be for your fucking aunt to be like, hey,

301
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,200
how's it going, and you'd be like, I thought about

302
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,320
killing myself instead of getting on this fucking airplane, because honestly,

303
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,799
it seems better than hanging out with this family. You know.

304
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I want you guys to go to your holiday party,

305
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,000
look people dead in the eyes and tell them the truth.

306
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,559
Be like, I can't fucking find an antidepressant that's working

307
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,519
for me, and I'm ready to take my own life

308
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and listen, I hope that's not the case. I hope

309
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that's not true. And for what it's worth. Ever since

310
00:15:08,919 --> 00:15:11,919
I've gotten on Lexapro, I don't really have those crazy

311
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,879
thoughts anymore. And I call them crazy now in hindsight,

312
00:15:15,919 --> 00:15:18,600
because like that was my every single day. Like I

313
00:15:18,799 --> 00:15:21,240
just was like I woke up every morning and I

314
00:15:21,279 --> 00:15:25,519
was like my first thought was like, ugh again, why,

315
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,840
And then my second thought was whatever I had to

316
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,639
do for the day. It's like, oh, go fucking buy

317
00:15:29,639 --> 00:15:31,440
a cucumber from the grocery store. I'm like, should I

318
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,039
buy a cucumber? Or should I kill myself? Or should

319
00:15:34,039 --> 00:15:36,320
I drink bleach? You know, I think we need to

320
00:15:36,399 --> 00:15:39,240
hit our family with the truth of like how fucking

321
00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:41,559
hard life is. And I don't want you guys to

322
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,960
go sugarcoat your Christmas or whatever you celebrate Hanuka, whatever.

323
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:48,200
I want you guys to all just be honest, cause

324
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,200
some fucking chaos choke slam your aunt into the fucking

325
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:56,200
ham like fistfight. You know. It's the worst thing in

326
00:15:56,240 --> 00:16:00,480
the world when there's just like this underlying tension. There's

327
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:03,519
this like underlying tension of everyone kind of hates one

328
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,440
person there that person and my family is me. By

329
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,799
the way, everyone has to be like, oh you came.

330
00:16:09,039 --> 00:16:12,360
I don't even get invited anymore. I don't want to go. Honestly, no,

331
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:16,679
thank you. But what am I saying here? I don't know.

332
00:16:16,759 --> 00:16:19,519
Fistfight your fucking family, That's what I'm saying. It's THEID.

333
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,399
Do you like how I started this segment and I

334
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,720
was just like, we're gonna talk about some light holiday

335
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,120
stuff that I'm like, choke slam your aunt into the

336
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:32,080
fucking ham. Okay, oh my god, you guys. Anyway, I

337
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,840
want to talk to you about some of my favorite

338
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,799
little gifts and I hope you buy them for yourself

339
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,960
and no one else, because nobody deserves them but you.

340
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,879
And I just want all my besties to have the

341
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:46,639
things that I use that make my life so much better. Okay,

342
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,759
We're gonna go through a little list of Christmas gifties,

343
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:51,919
gifties that I want you guys to all stuff in

344
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:56,399
your stocking. That's your post. No, I'm just kidding. Okay,

345
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,759
Linneese lip mask. I don't know if I'm saying that right. No, rush,

346
00:17:00,879 --> 00:17:05,319
Okay Linne La n i e ge lip mask. I

347
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,480
have tried every lip mask under the sun. This one

348
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:11,440
it's technically a night lip mask. I use it twenty

349
00:17:11,519 --> 00:17:13,640
four seven. It will make your lips look like they

350
00:17:13,759 --> 00:17:16,559
just got injections, and it keeps them so hydrated and

351
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,079
moist and plump and beautiful. And every time I wear it,

352
00:17:19,279 --> 00:17:21,680
everyone asks me what it is. I there is not

353
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:24,240
a friend in my friend group who hasn't asked me

354
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:28,079
and now wears it and endorses it and loves it.

355
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:31,480
It is the best lip mask. I found another one

356
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,200
that I like, which I was very surprised by. The

357
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:38,279
j Lo Besos is really good. So this the lip

358
00:17:38,319 --> 00:17:41,799
mask is more of like natural day whatever if you're

359
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,400
not doing a full face. Also, when I do a

360
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,599
full face, I do a liner and the lineze lip

361
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,279
mask and I blend it all together and it's perfect.

362
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:50,039
So you can do that either way. But the Besos

363
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,880
by j Lo is really great for if you're mixing

364
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,200
it with like a lipstick color. So if you want

365
00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:58,000
a lipstick but you don't want your lips to be

366
00:17:58,079 --> 00:18:00,839
dried out like those Matt lipsticks, can do do the

367
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:06,160
j Lo Besos. Mix it together, moisturize, plump, thank me later.

368
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,160
And these are not by the way, this is not

369
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,359
a sponsored segment. This is just me telling you what

370
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,240
I love all day every day, so you guys can

371
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,079
be a part of it. Like I said, this is sponsored,

372
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,240
but that makes it more of an endorsement. I love

373
00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:22,880
the Berber Hair Caro oil. Like that oil has changed

374
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,680
my relationship with my hair. I was in such a

375
00:18:24,759 --> 00:18:26,960
dark place. I was in such a dark place for

376
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,480
such a long time. And now that I feel like

377
00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:30,640
it's starting to get healthy again and it's starting to grow,

378
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:33,759
I can one percent. That's say, that's the Berber hair

379
00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:37,160
oil that I'm doing twice a week. Go on their site.

380
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,640
Do use my code. It's brit for fifteen percent off,

381
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,759
so definitely use it. But just know that. But even

382
00:18:42,799 --> 00:18:46,160
if they weren't sponsoring the podcast, I would endorse them.

383
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:50,640
I would endorse them anyway. Also same goes with fat

384
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,119
Face Lotion, which is the lotion from a life on

385
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,799
the lamb. That lotion is amazing. Like I said before, Yeah,

386
00:18:56,839 --> 00:18:58,519
it makes you your face smell a little bit like

387
00:18:58,559 --> 00:19:02,599
dog food and Biggie will lick it off, but it's delicious.

388
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,119
It'll make you look ten years younger. Speaking of ten

389
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:12,240
years younger, I was back in Wisconsin. We mister Manhattan

390
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,880
and I went to Wisconsin to do an early Christmas

391
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,559
with my family because we're gonna be with his family

392
00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:20,680
in Connecticut for the holidays. But he was like, I

393
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,160
need an under eye cream. My underreyes are just like

394
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,680
getting whatever. And so I went. We went to Walmart.

395
00:19:26,839 --> 00:19:30,440
I mean fucking yeah, I love Walmart. You can get

396
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,200
ten thousand things for five dollars, like it's amazing. But

397
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,720
I went and got this under this underie cream and

398
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,000
I threw it in the cart for him, and he

399
00:19:38,079 --> 00:19:40,400
picked it up and on it and said, makes you

400
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,440
look ten years younger. And he just threw it in

401
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,480
the cart and looked at me. He's like pedophile because

402
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,599
if he looked ten years younger, he would be seventeen.

403
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,880
So anyway, that was just a funny little aside. I

404
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,799
love Walmart, and I went back there and our holiday.

405
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,680
I'm gonna I'm gonna finish off my holiday list of

406
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,559
things you can buy your loved ones a loaded gun. No,

407
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,720
I'm just kidding. Oh, I'm making a lot of suicide

408
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:11,880
jokes on this podcast. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, listen, I

409
00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:15,240
got myself in trouble for how much I talked about

410
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,480
my mental health on the last podcast. I'll be honest.

411
00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:20,599
I was in the running for this really big show

412
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:25,599
and I was I knew the person that was casting

413
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,519
for it. I was a foot I was a shoe

414
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:31,599
in and one of the things that they had to

415
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,839
do was a mental health check, and I was a

416
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,880
little too honest. I met with the psychiatrist. She's like,

417
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,720
how many times have you done cocaine? And I was like,

418
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,079
I have no idea. She's like more than ten. I

419
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,680
was like, yeah, I've done it more than ten times

420
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,039
in one night. Like, what are we talking about here.

421
00:20:48,079 --> 00:20:52,079
Speaker 2: She's like, Laura, one night's once. Huh, one night's once.

422
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,200
You can't do it multiple times in a night. One

423
00:20:55,319 --> 00:20:56,599
night counts as one.

424
00:20:56,759 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, see I like that logic. Yeah, in

425
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,920
which case I still have no idea. I mean I

426
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,039
don't know. Someone could say every single time you do

427
00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:05,160
a line is once.

428
00:21:06,039 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 2: Well, those people don't know a thing about cocaine.

429
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, well those people are fucking idiots, and we don't

430
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,920
want you at our party. Okay. No, So she's like

431
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,480
more than ten and I was like, yeah, for sure,

432
00:21:15,519 --> 00:21:17,480
she's like more than a hundred. I was like, yeah, probably,

433
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,960
you know, and like everyone I talked to because you know,

434
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,559
ultimately I did not get this thing. And part of

435
00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:24,759
it was, you know, me being too honest, But the

436
00:21:24,799 --> 00:21:27,839
other part was I spoke too openly about my struggles

437
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,359
with suicide. And I will tell you this one thing,

438
00:21:31,839 --> 00:21:35,119
Not getting a really big job because you were suicidal

439
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,039
makes you want to kill yourself like nothing. I had

440
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,839
not had a suicidal thought since April. And when they

441
00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:43,559
told me I didn't get this job because my mental

442
00:21:43,599 --> 00:21:46,200
health was not stable enough, I was like, I'll show

443
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,799
you a fucking show you.

444
00:21:49,279 --> 00:21:52,599
Speaker 3: It's definitely the suie talk because Hollywood, I'm afraid of

445
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,319
a little cocaine.

446
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, one hundred percent. They were terrified that I would, Yeah,

447
00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:03,519
I would ruin the show by executing myself. So anyway,

448
00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:07,440
Ho ho ho, Happy holidays, you guys. Just a little

449
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,960
light suicide talk, little you know, light choke slam, your

450
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,359
aunt talk. It's just like you come to talk and

451
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,640
Schmidt for the light stuff. You know. Okay, what I've

452
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,319
been doing so that you guys don't have to is

453
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,480
watching all of the TV so I can tell you

454
00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:23,559
what you should watch and what you shouldn't watch. And

455
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,880
I just finished one of the best shows that I've

456
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,640
seen in a long time, and it's called all Her Fault,

457
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,559
and it is on Peacock, and listen, Peacock is the

458
00:22:32,599 --> 00:22:36,480
bastard child of the streaming service. Peacock is the Genie,

459
00:22:36,559 --> 00:22:39,440
the feral child of the streaming services. And if you

460
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,759
don't know who Genie the feral child is, google it

461
00:22:41,839 --> 00:22:45,240
right now. She basically was a girl. She became like

462
00:22:45,319 --> 00:22:49,799
this big something in psychology textbooks. She's a psychological not phenomenon.

463
00:22:49,839 --> 00:22:52,000
I think it's just like the what happens when you

464
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,960
lock a girl in a room and chain her to

465
00:22:55,039 --> 00:22:57,119
a bucket she can piss in and you never talk

466
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,599
to her and you barely feed her. She just became

467
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,559
like this feral, crotchety little like imagine imagine if you

468
00:23:03,559 --> 00:23:06,440
spent your whole life as like from a child too.

469
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,759
I think they found her when she was twelve or

470
00:23:08,839 --> 00:23:11,440
something like. Can you check can you look at Genie

471
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,160
the feral child? Anyway, that's Peacock. Peacock, that is that

472
00:23:16,279 --> 00:23:19,279
is Peacock the streamer. And they don't usually have anything

473
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,799
good going on, but I will say, All Her Fault

474
00:23:23,559 --> 00:23:26,240
fucked me up. Like it's one of those thrillers where

475
00:23:26,319 --> 00:23:28,200
every single episode, you're like, it was that person, it

476
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,559
was this person, it was this person, and you legitimately

477
00:23:30,559 --> 00:23:32,039
believe it and believe it and believe it, and then

478
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,319
the end blows your fucking mind like you really truly

479
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,599
had no fucking clue what was gonna happen until the

480
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:42,480
last episode in your holy fucking shit.

481
00:23:43,319 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 2: What do you want to know about Genie?

482
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: When did they find her? How old was she when

483
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,720
they when they found her? She like twelve, thirteen thirteen.

484
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,480
I see, I was close. See I got a psych minor,

485
00:23:53,559 --> 00:23:56,519
and I wasn't just sucking dick and chug and fucking

486
00:23:56,599 --> 00:23:59,720
vodka in college. I listened because I was interested. But yeah,

487
00:23:59,759 --> 00:24:05,480
Genie the fair child. That's peacock. Peacock. That should be

488
00:24:05,519 --> 00:24:09,960
their logo. Just GENI like hunched over, come give us water,

489
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,720
we need food, we need toilet paper like this, They're like,

490
00:24:13,799 --> 00:24:16,480
we got bills to pay. Listen. And here's the thing

491
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,640
about Peacock. If you do it through Prime, you can

492
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,279
I think you get Peacock for like ten dollars a month,

493
00:24:21,319 --> 00:24:23,279
and you can just go get like the free subscription

494
00:24:23,799 --> 00:24:25,880
for one month and then cancel it. It would be

495
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,200
worth it for this show. Or you could get it,

496
00:24:28,319 --> 00:24:31,039
think you're gonna cancel it, never cancel it, and then

497
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,759
you know, pay eight thousand dollars for the rest of

498
00:24:34,799 --> 00:24:37,880
your life. Eight thousand dollars over a lifetime. Ten dollars

499
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,359
a month times what ten dollars a month times twelve

500
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,319
is one, twenty times sixty is seventy two hundred. I

501
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,240
think can you check my mauth on that math now too? Sorry,

502
00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:51,160
never mind you fuck it. It doesn't matter. Listen. You can

503
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,400
either get a free subscription for a month, watch it,

504
00:24:53,599 --> 00:24:56,400
thank me, or you can think you're just gonna get

505
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,720
it for a month, keep it forever, and you know,

506
00:24:58,839 --> 00:25:00,880
be deeply in debt to peak for the rest of

507
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,559
your life. So those are your two options. But you

508
00:25:02,599 --> 00:25:04,599
need to watch it. It's so good the show. I

509
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,799
need you guys to skip, and I need you guys

510
00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:10,799
to skip because I am furious at everyone who tell

511
00:25:10,839 --> 00:25:13,920
me this show is amazing. Oh my god, it's gonna

512
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,599
blow your mind. It's so good. Pluberris is that how

513
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:17,960
you say it?

514
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 2: Plu bearis fight me?

515
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,519
Speaker 1: I will fucking fight you. You think that show's good, Mike,

516
00:25:23,599 --> 00:25:26,640
are you kidding me? It was like watching fucking paint dry.

517
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,680
It was like watching the Pyramids being built, like I

518
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,079
just I it was like watching the Duomo. I'm like,

519
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,599
I don't have eight hundred years. Did you like that show?

520
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,799
How do you say it? Plubarus?

521
00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 2: I think it's.

522
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 1: Plurbous, plurvius, fucking fucking skip it. Fuck fuck that show.

523
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,160
None of it made sense. The premise is dumb. The

524
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,559
aliens seem nice. She could just become an alien who cares.

525
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 2: Oh, because you'd be nice to him. You'd be just

526
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:55,640
like CZ.

527
00:25:56,839 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: But she's just angry in every scene and then nothing happen,

528
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,599
and then it's like, we delivered your favorite breakfast from

529
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,160
this place in Santa Park. It's so dumb you actually

530
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:07,519
like it?

531
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

532
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:09,039
Speaker 1: Fuck right.

533
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,039
Speaker 3: When I saw that main character, I thought, this is

534
00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:13,839
what Brittany would be like. It's one of those things

535
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,160
is maybe if you're too close to someone, you don't

536
00:26:17,279 --> 00:26:18,599
like it because it's similar.

537
00:26:18,839 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, you hate in other people what you

538
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,559
hate in yourself, So.

539
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 2: Do you see something and I don't know, but well.

540
00:26:25,519 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: No, she's a fucking I also don't think her acting

541
00:26:30,559 --> 00:26:34,960
is that good? Do you think it is. I'm not

542
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,119
saying I could do better. I'm not saying I could

543
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,640
do better, but you like the show. You don't let

544
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,319
there are people's like dying on a fucking this is

545
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:42,839
the hill they're gonna die on that it's like the

546
00:26:42,839 --> 00:26:45,440
best show they've ever seen. And I think it's fucking dumb.

547
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:50,960
I think it is a plotless dumbo. It's it makes

548
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,359
no sense. Biggie's coming out to tell you how dumb

549
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,000
it is because he had to watch it too, and

550
00:26:55,039 --> 00:26:57,599
he's like, those are moments of my life. I'll never

551
00:26:57,759 --> 00:26:58,359
get back.

552
00:26:58,519 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 2: There's a hive mind aliens.

553
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,279
Speaker 3: She's trying to take over the world, and you're one

554
00:27:02,279 --> 00:27:03,839
of the few people who can stop it.

555
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,519
Speaker 1: No, but she can be I don't think she can.

556
00:27:07,279 --> 00:27:12,079
They're they're nice. N it's a nice it's not a

557
00:27:12,079 --> 00:27:13,440
hostile take take over.

558
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 2: Why would not interesting?

559
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: But why would you not just be like, Okay, I'll

560
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,279
be an alien, everything's fine. I would I would totally

561
00:27:20,319 --> 00:27:21,680
just be like whatever, I'll be an alien. I'm not

562
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,599
gonna be like, I'm fighting for the human species. Have

563
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:28,039
you met the human species? We're fucking horrible, Like wipe

564
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,160
us out and replace us with robots that can't do

565
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,720
any harm or aliens that can't do any harm you.

566
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,440
Who are we fighting for Mike? Who are we fighting.

567
00:27:37,039 --> 00:27:37,839
Speaker 2: For for me?

568
00:27:38,319 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: No? You're only for me, You're fucking out. No, everyone,

569
00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:45,200
we need a heart like, we need a hard reset.

570
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,759
We need to go to the as a fucking s

571
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,240
make us all yes, as a species. We need to

572
00:27:50,279 --> 00:27:51,920
go to the Apple Store, and we need to all

573
00:27:52,039 --> 00:27:55,839
hard reset ourselves and come back. And when we're back online,

574
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,920
we're just like, oh, it's really nice here. This is

575
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,920
my favorite food. It's Sunniad's hide. That would be nice.

576
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,000
We're all too fucking angry and crazy. Look at me.

577
00:28:03,079 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: You'd hate all those people because you just got done

578
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,160
saying why can't we all go to Christmas? And instead

579
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,160
of being nice, why can't we just say how we

580
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,279
really feel? Why can't we all keep yelling?

581
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: Might come with me for the fucking plot. Stop fucking

582
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,200
don't do this to me? Ah, okay, fine, whatever, watch

583
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,759
the show. I guess you know what I want you

584
00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:21,400
guys to watch the show. I want you to waste

585
00:28:21,599 --> 00:28:25,319
fucking eight hours of your life watching that god forsaken show.

586
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,160
And I want you to weigh in in the comments

587
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,000
and tell me if I'm right or if Mike's right.

588
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,799
Is this show the best thing you've ever seen, or

589
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,559
are those precious hours of your life you're never gonna

590
00:28:34,559 --> 00:28:36,559
get back. I really want to know. I really want

591
00:28:36,559 --> 00:28:39,400
to fucking know. So go ahead. Now you guys have homework.

592
00:28:39,799 --> 00:28:45,519
Go ahead, go ahead, Okay, listen. I know we're all traveling,

593
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:47,880
and I just want to give you some little travel tips.

594
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,920
Travel What's wrong with me? Travel tips? Here's something that

595
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,799
I have noticed in my years of traveling constantly. Always

596
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,400
when something happens on a plane, like an emergency, let's

597
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:05,240
just say, everyone's like, and I know that's the human reaction.

598
00:29:05,319 --> 00:29:07,079
I think we get startled and we want to help.

599
00:29:07,599 --> 00:29:10,079
Don't do that unless you're a doctor or a nurse.

600
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,599
Don't don't get up and gawk and stare and somebody

601
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,519
is having a fucking emergency and you looking at it

602
00:29:17,559 --> 00:29:21,119
and like, there's this weird thing about like humanity. And

603
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,200
I think there's probably a I don't know, I'm sure

604
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,359
there's been a psychological study about this in the past,

605
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,240
but there's something about humanity where when a disaster happens,

606
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,039
we want to see it and we get like kind

607
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:33,759
of off, you know, like it's like driving past a

608
00:29:33,799 --> 00:29:35,440
car wreck, you know, when you're in the back of

609
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,480
the line, you're like, oh, everyone has to look, everyone

610
00:29:37,519 --> 00:29:39,079
has to look. Can't they just drive past? And then

611
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,079
it's your turn to drive past, and you break your

612
00:29:41,119 --> 00:29:42,880
fucking neck and you go two miles an hour and

613
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:48,000
you're just like, you know, I don't do that. Don't

614
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,319
do that. I was on a flight the other day.

615
00:29:49,359 --> 00:29:51,119
I was going to Palm Beach for the very first time,

616
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,480
even though I'm moving there. I was going to Palm

617
00:29:53,519 --> 00:29:57,640
Beach and our flight was slightly delayed. There was some

618
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,839
like technical issue, and this girl got up. The plane

619
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,039
was like a little hot, and this girl got up.

620
00:30:03,079 --> 00:30:05,799
And I'm an aisle seat gurly because i have the

621
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,559
bladder of a fucking I have a pea bladder. I

622
00:30:08,559 --> 00:30:10,559
have the tiniest little bladder and i have to pee

623
00:30:10,799 --> 00:30:13,839
twenty four to seven. So I'm an aisle seat gurly.

624
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,839
And this girl stands up to I don't know what

625
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,759
she was trying to do, but she didn't get to

626
00:30:17,759 --> 00:30:21,359
do it because she fucking fainted and she face planted

627
00:30:21,759 --> 00:30:24,960
right next to my chair. And I looked, and then

628
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,480
I went right back to medicide. Because I'm not a doctor.

629
00:30:28,559 --> 00:30:30,839
I'm not a medical professional. I'm not gonna make this

630
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,079
situation better. So everyone jumps up and they're staring and

631
00:30:34,079 --> 00:30:37,440
they're looking and they're shouting, and it's like pandemonium ensues

632
00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:40,119
and it's like, hey, don't do that. You know, there's

633
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,480
people on the flight. The flight attendants will figure it out.

634
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,640
They'll call a medical they'll find if there's a nurser,

635
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,960
a doctor or whatever on the plane. And by the way,

636
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,319
you know, when they say, hey, is there a doctor

637
00:30:50,359 --> 00:30:53,319
on the plane, that's when you need to look because

638
00:30:53,319 --> 00:30:55,359
that's when the doctors are standing up and maybe you

639
00:30:55,359 --> 00:30:58,000
could date them. You know, you could be like check

640
00:30:58,039 --> 00:31:01,279
for a wedding ring, are they available? Because if not,

641
00:31:01,559 --> 00:31:04,039
it's a single doctor, and that's what you need. That's

642
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:06,079
what you really need out of the situation. We don't

643
00:31:06,079 --> 00:31:08,160
need this girl to come back to life. I'm just kidding.

644
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,680
I knew she wasn't dead. She was like still breathing.

645
00:31:12,079 --> 00:31:16,279
She had just fainted. But yeah, I think if a

646
00:31:16,319 --> 00:31:20,000
medical emergency happens, try not to be the monster. That's

647
00:31:20,039 --> 00:31:23,279
like hovering over a stranger who you don't know. That's crazy.

648
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,359
Imagine waking up from fainting on an airplane, which nobody

649
00:31:26,359 --> 00:31:27,799
wants to do, and you open your eyes and it's

650
00:31:27,799 --> 00:31:30,319
blurry and you can barely see anything, and you just

651
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,680
you look up and you see just some fucking guy

652
00:31:36,119 --> 00:31:42,079
mouth breathing into your fucking face, Like, like, who the

653
00:31:42,079 --> 00:31:43,839
fuck is that? Nobody wants to wake up to that?

654
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,119
Would you guys have some like not you guys, because

655
00:31:46,119 --> 00:31:47,960
you guys are all perfect, you know, you guys are great.

656
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,759
But I'm just saying, like people need to have a

657
00:31:49,799 --> 00:31:52,039
little more kooth when they're out in the world and

658
00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:54,119
not be all up in people's business, Like that's a

659
00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:57,039
very even though it happened publicly, that's a private thing

660
00:31:57,079 --> 00:31:59,359
and that's so embarrassing. And this girl handled it like

661
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,119
a fucking g Did she delay our flight two hours?

662
00:32:03,799 --> 00:32:05,839
Not two hours? Okay, one hour? It was already delayed

663
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,000
thirty minutes. She delayed another thirty minutes, Yeah she did.

664
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,880
And then she gets back on the plane and she

665
00:32:10,039 --> 00:32:12,960
just like she literally did one of these hair flips

666
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,240
and she's like, sorry, that was really dramatic, and I

667
00:32:17,279 --> 00:32:18,799
was like, hell, yeah, wait to have a sense of

668
00:32:18,839 --> 00:32:20,880
humor about it, because like, yeah, this whole plane just

669
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,240
like watched her and thought, you know, she died and

670
00:32:23,319 --> 00:32:25,079
she's just like, sorry, that was really dramatic. I just

671
00:32:25,079 --> 00:32:27,599
have low blood sugar. And I was like, go off, Diva,

672
00:32:27,759 --> 00:32:30,880
Go the fuck off. So that's my first travel tip.

673
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,079
My second one is when you're up in the air

674
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,960
and you're flying and you start crying and you're watching

675
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,720
these shows and you're getting really emotional, or you're getting

676
00:32:39,759 --> 00:32:43,240
mad at somebody who's texting you or something happens, just remember,

677
00:32:43,279 --> 00:32:46,240
when you're elevated thirty thousand feet in the air, that's

678
00:32:46,319 --> 00:32:50,000
not you. That's a different person, and that person shouldn't

679
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,599
be sending text messages. They shouldn't be sending voice notes,

680
00:32:52,799 --> 00:32:55,359
they shouldn't really be doing anything. Honestly, it's a shame

681
00:32:55,359 --> 00:32:57,640
that Wi Fi on airplanes exist because, like, you guys

682
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,640
should all not be texting anyone. Like I had the

683
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,880
most heated not heated, but like passionate, Like I was

684
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,799
so sure about something. I was texting Reina and I

685
00:33:06,839 --> 00:33:09,400
was flying and I was like, bah, you know, I

686
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:10,920
was just like, am I making a huge mistake? What

687
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,119
am I doing? But h And then you know, she

688
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,799
was being a great friend and she was listening and

689
00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:16,599
she was giving me advice. And then when I landed.

690
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,119
I was like, never mind, I was just in the

691
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,720
air and it was a little emotional, and she's like

692
00:33:21,759 --> 00:33:24,160
that was pivotal information, Like you should have told me

693
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,039
you're flying, because when you're flying, you're not yourself. So

694
00:33:27,359 --> 00:33:31,839
just don't make any big text don't send any crazy emails,

695
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,559
don't do anything that you would regret while you're up there.

696
00:33:35,559 --> 00:33:37,759
Maybe wait till you get on the ground and then,

697
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,720
you know, just to make you a little more comfortable

698
00:33:39,759 --> 00:33:42,480
while you travel. If you're traveling over like three hours,

699
00:33:42,759 --> 00:33:45,200
make sure you wear compression socks. I've been noticing this

700
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:52,359
as a age. Hate that that's happening. My Like joints

701
00:33:52,359 --> 00:33:56,839
are getting stiffer, and it's because of a lack of

702
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,119
blood flow. You know, you need blood flow, and like

703
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,599
when your blood flows down, it's harder for it to

704
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,839
flow up when you're on an airplane because of the

705
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,960
barometric barometric pressure. I don't know what it's called, anyway,

706
00:34:07,119 --> 00:34:10,039
none of my business because of the pressure and the airplane.

707
00:34:10,119 --> 00:34:14,480
So stay hydrated, Drink water with electroolytes before, during after.

708
00:34:14,599 --> 00:34:17,480
I cannot stress this enough. Water is the number one

709
00:34:17,519 --> 00:34:19,360
thing we all need to be drinking a gallon a day,

710
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,519
and you should drink more if you're traveling. And I

711
00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:23,360
know that sounds like a lot, but when I say that,

712
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,719
like when I started drinking a gallon of water a day,

713
00:34:26,039 --> 00:34:27,920
the thing I noticed the most and the only thing

714
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,199
I care about is my skin. Because your skin, when

715
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,880
it's hydrated, it's hydrates from the inside out, right, So

716
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,360
when you're seeing like fine lines, creases, wrinkles, all that

717
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,079
stuff that starts to show up on our face as

718
00:34:39,119 --> 00:34:41,880
we age drink water, because I promise you it'll make

719
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,039
your skin juicier and more supple. And then also go

720
00:34:45,119 --> 00:34:47,440
get injections, you know what I mean. Go to your botox.

721
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:47,679
Speaker 3: Girl.

722
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,199
Speaker 1: I just got back from mine, so I'm not gonna

723
00:34:50,199 --> 00:34:51,599
sit here and be like my face is like this

724
00:34:51,639 --> 00:34:54,639
because of water. That's crazy. We all know it's a

725
00:34:54,679 --> 00:34:59,039
CO two laser and filler and injections and anything anything

726
00:34:59,039 --> 00:35:00,880
that's non invasive. St you, guys. I have to tell

727
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:05,000
you something so funny. I wanted to get an upper bleff.

728
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,679
And for those of you who don't know what an

729
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,360
upper bluff is, it's that upper eyelid surgery that makes

730
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:14,079
you look like slightly more awake. And I emailed this

731
00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:16,960
doctor because mister Manhattan is going to Turkey for a

732
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,559
hair transplant, and I was gonna go with him and

733
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:24,440
go to this this plastic surgeon for a bluff. And

734
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,079
I sent him a picture of my face and he

735
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:32,599
sent me back a quote for a facelift, for a

736
00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:35,079
fucking facelift. He had like red lines all over my

737
00:35:35,159 --> 00:35:36,639
face and was like, you don't need a bluff, you

738
00:35:36,679 --> 00:35:39,880
need an entire facelift. And I was like, hey, man,

739
00:35:40,119 --> 00:35:42,920
are you on fucking acid? Like I just want to look,

740
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,239
you know, slightly more awake. I don't want to look

741
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,440
like I'm pulling out of an airplane at all times.

742
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,000
So anyway, I decided against it. I'm kind of opting out. Listen,

743
00:35:52,039 --> 00:35:53,760
and this isn't gonna be forever. This is gonna be

744
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,440
something I say on the podcast that I go back

745
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,320
on immediately and then like one day down the road,

746
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,519
you guys are gonna be like, but you said this,

747
00:35:58,559 --> 00:35:59,760
And I'm like, yeah, I say shit all the time.

748
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,199
I mean it in the moment and then I change.

749
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,000
But I think in terms of like invasive plastic surgery,

750
00:36:05,039 --> 00:36:06,719
I'm gonna stay away for it from it as long

751
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,280
as I can, because it's just not. It's too risky.

752
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,920
You know, we've seen when it goes south, and I

753
00:36:12,079 --> 00:36:14,679
just I don't want to do that. It's like it's

754
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,400
so much more emotionally exhausting if you like go in

755
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,719
thinking you're gonna look better and then afterwards you don't.

756
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,840
I'm like, I don't. I don't have the bandwidth. I'm

757
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,519
going through too much as it is. I don't need

758
00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:28,239
some self imposed trauma of like an upper bleff gone wrong.

759
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,960
Like you guys, do you saw Bradley Cooper's fucking plastic

760
00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:33,719
surgery That is devastating. That was one of the most

761
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,440
handsome men in Hollywood, and he got a facelift in

762
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,239
a bleff, and the bleff made his eye sockets look

763
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,440
like dark like his eyes are like they look more

764
00:36:43,519 --> 00:36:46,039
set back in his head from whatever they did because

765
00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:48,079
the skin, so he had hooded eyes like I have.

766
00:36:48,559 --> 00:36:50,840
But the problem is like the hooded eyes makes a

767
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,960
natural coverage for the eye if you have a deeper eye,

768
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,400
and so they got rid of that extra skin. But

769
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,800
then it's just like the eyelid around the eyeball but

770
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,280
is deep, so his eyes look like he's peering into

771
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,719
two exhaust pipes and it's just not a good look

772
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,679
for old Brad. And I just don't get this, I

773
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,679
really don't like. Listen, women doing plastic surgery has been

774
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,920
since the dawn of time, Like we have been doing

775
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,800
this to ourselves forever. We have this unmanageable beauty standard

776
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,719
that set for us by magazines and models and da

777
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,559
da da da da. But men have always been told

778
00:37:23,599 --> 00:37:25,840
they look better as they age, and that's not untrue.

779
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,679
And I think everyone looks better as they age, and

780
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,760
you can get like a little help, but doing it

781
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,119
born naturally. Like my grandma when she, you know, was

782
00:37:34,159 --> 00:37:37,320
a fucking grandma, I remember looking at her and constantly

783
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,519
thinking like, this is the most beautiful woman I've ever

784
00:37:39,559 --> 00:37:42,320
seen in my entire life. Like her spirit was so light,

785
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,480
her laugh was contagious, she always had her hair and

786
00:37:44,519 --> 00:37:47,559
makeup done. She was just like gorgeous, stunning specimen. And

787
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:50,639
she never ever did anything except for use face lotion.

788
00:37:52,639 --> 00:37:55,679
So listen. I think it's definitely tougher to age naturally now,

789
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,840
especially with social media and our overexposure to perfection. But

790
00:37:59,079 --> 00:38:01,400
I think what's sad that's happening as a result of

791
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,719
this is that men are affected now too. Men in

792
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,960
women's fields. I just you know, we look at Zac Efron,

793
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,760
who was a beautiful person, still is, but like the

794
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,639
work he got done is kind of sad. And then

795
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,679
Bradley Cooper. I just think he was so handsome and

796
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,039
just stunning and talented and wonderful. I cannot imagine a

797
00:38:22,039 --> 00:38:24,880
world where he thought that was necessary. And look at

798
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,800
it and I think there's more, but I'm missing it.

799
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,119
It just makes me kind of bummed out. So anyway,

800
00:38:31,119 --> 00:38:35,239
long story long, I'm avoiding plastic surgery. Trua la la.

801
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:39,519
Happy holidays. Our sponsor, Berber Haircare, is honestly a perfect

802
00:38:39,519 --> 00:38:44,440
stocking stucker. Oh boy, it's a perfect stocking stucker. And

803
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,280
that's what I've been saying. And it is a perfect

804
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stocking stuffer. And it's honestly probably too late to get it,

805
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,880
but you know what, stuff your own stocking in the

806
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,000
new year, and get yourself some Berber hair oil because

807
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,719
I want us all to have beautiful, long, healthy, shiny

808
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,880
mermaid hair. And if you go to the Berber Hair

809
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,000
Oil page and you see some of their before and afters,

810
00:39:03,039 --> 00:39:06,199
they are incredible. I'm still on my journey with them.

811
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,119
I probably need a full year before. I can do

812
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:11,159
it before and after. But you know me, I had

813
00:39:11,159 --> 00:39:12,800
four hairs on my head and now I have a

814
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,440
few more. But I really want you guys to enjoy

815
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,039
this product as much as I do. Get the Dermer

816
00:39:18,079 --> 00:39:20,320
hair roller. You don't have to get theirs. You can

817
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,960
if you want to. It's amazing. You can get a

818
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,400
Derma roller from anywhere, but make sure you get their

819
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,480
hair oil. Use it twice a week. I do it

820
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:31,079
before hair wash days. Rub it into the scalp, do

821
00:39:31,159 --> 00:39:32,800
like two drops and put it on the rest of

822
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:36,719
your hair. Slick back, pony. Sleep in that bitch, Wake up,

823
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,320
wash it out and honestly, your hair is going to

824
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,920
thank you. Go to Berber dot com, brbur dot com

825
00:39:44,039 --> 00:39:47,280
use the code Brit Brit for fifteen percent off your

826
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:53,679
first order. Happy health days, you guys, so listen to

827
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:58,880
Mother compression socks for your flight electrolytes. Move your body

828
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,880
every sixty minutes. If you can get that, Aye, I'll

829
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,320
see girl go run up and down. Make people fucking

830
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:07,599
scared like I'm practicing for the Olympics. Okay, you got

831
00:40:07,599 --> 00:40:09,760
to move your body even after I sit here and

832
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,559
do this podcast. Chris Cross Apple sauce for an hour.

833
00:40:12,679 --> 00:40:16,039
I am my leg's hurt, and that's because I'm oh,

834
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,119
so you guys. For this episode. I was so excited.

835
00:40:19,119 --> 00:40:21,880
I was supposed to have my therapist on, but she

836
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,119
her kid got sick so she couldn't be here, which

837
00:40:25,159 --> 00:40:28,119
is really upsetting because I love my therapist. I've worked

838
00:40:28,119 --> 00:40:32,480
with her consistently since Oh my god, it's been so long,

839
00:40:32,559 --> 00:40:36,599
twenty fifteen. I've been with her for ten years going

840
00:40:36,639 --> 00:40:41,639
on eleven, and I don't think there's any person who

841
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:45,039
has single handedly changed my life more than Dana Maloney.

842
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:49,840
And she is a cognitive behavioral therapist. She works out

843
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:54,000
of Venice Beach, California. She does a more non traditional

844
00:40:54,039 --> 00:40:57,199
approach to therapy. A lot of it is focused on

845
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:01,400
cognitive behavioral therapy, which looks for those of you who

846
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,559
aren't familiar, it looks at, you know, not dangerous, but

847
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,920
patterns of thinking or thought that don't really serve us,

848
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,800
So like black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking,

849
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,480
those kinds of things, and then she helps you kind

850
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:17,000
of rewire your brain so that those patterns and those

851
00:41:17,119 --> 00:41:21,320
kind of obsessive thoughts and things don't take over take

852
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,440
over your life and fucking ruin it like they did

853
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,000
to me. So I'm going to tell you a little bit.

854
00:41:26,079 --> 00:41:29,039
I wrote her questions and she responded, And as much

855
00:41:29,079 --> 00:41:30,519
as I want to dive into all of these, I

856
00:41:30,519 --> 00:41:31,960
do want to save some of it for when she

857
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,679
does actually come on the podcast. But I think some

858
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:38,960
of this will be helpful going into the holidays. So

859
00:41:39,159 --> 00:41:42,800
good Enough Therapist is what her therapy is called, and

860
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,079
she's said this is about bringing cognitive behavioral therapy into

861
00:41:47,119 --> 00:41:50,519
a palatable form. CBT simply is changing your core belief

862
00:41:50,519 --> 00:41:54,119
systems that are inaccurate or are not serving you. These

863
00:41:54,159 --> 00:41:56,800
beliefs drive how we think, feel, and behave, and yet

864
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,280
these are not the reality. All of these come from

865
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,920
us and not to us. That itself means we have control.

866
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,639
The only problem with CBT is as dry as fuck,

867
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,480
tons of work and unapproachable because of it. I set

868
00:42:08,519 --> 00:42:11,760
out to change that. So when I first went to her,

869
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,480
I went in for OCD thinking that I would describe

870
00:42:15,559 --> 00:42:18,880
as like one of the most insane times of my life.

871
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,159
I first started dating my ex husband and he had

872
00:42:22,199 --> 00:42:27,320
an ex wife, and I was obsessed. I was obsessed.

873
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,400
I would check her Instagram all the time. I would

874
00:42:29,519 --> 00:42:32,119
check her fucking LinkedIn. I was just like I needed

875
00:42:32,159 --> 00:42:33,760
to know where she was, what she was doing, how

876
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,400
she was spending her money, how she was spending her net.

877
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,920
Like I was insane, and I don't I couldn't even

878
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,840
identify where that was coming from, other than like probably

879
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:44,519
a true fear of abandonment within the relationship, or a

880
00:42:44,559 --> 00:42:47,000
fear of like, if she comes back, then I no

881
00:42:47,079 --> 00:42:49,519
longer have my partner. So I was just like in

882
00:42:49,559 --> 00:42:52,639
this really disgusting, obsessive loop. And I feel actually genuinely

883
00:42:52,679 --> 00:42:54,519
bad for anyone who was my friend during that time,

884
00:42:54,519 --> 00:42:57,239
because it was like I was just like this venomous

885
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,559
cunt to this person I didn't even know and didn't

886
00:42:59,559 --> 00:43:02,840
deserve like this amount of energy from me, and especially

887
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,000
not this amount of hate. And I was just in

888
00:43:05,039 --> 00:43:08,119
a really dangerous loop. And Dana helped me not only

889
00:43:08,199 --> 00:43:12,000
identify that I had OCD thinking, but that also how

890
00:43:12,119 --> 00:43:14,119
to stop it, how to break it, what to do

891
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:21,000
to kind of stop that loop. So she said, you know,

892
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:24,159
basically I had OCD thinking, but you didn't diagnose me

893
00:43:24,199 --> 00:43:27,360
for a while. Can you explain to me what that

894
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,320
is and how it works? And she said, you know,

895
00:43:30,039 --> 00:43:32,039
I don't like to diagnose for a number of reasons

896
00:43:32,119 --> 00:43:35,800
under usual circumstances. For some treatments, diagnosing is necessary, like

897
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,960
with something like bipolar or borderline personality disorder, when medication

898
00:43:40,119 --> 00:43:43,199
and specific therapies are at stake based on a diagnosis,

899
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,280
it's a must. Otherwise you can come to me with

900
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,119
symptoms of depression anxiety OCD, and I don't usually see

901
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:51,199
a point in labeling you. Oftentimes we become a label

902
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,599
and that can backfire in your case. And I don't

903
00:43:53,639 --> 00:43:55,119
know how many specifics you want to share it. I

904
00:43:55,159 --> 00:44:00,800
just told you everything you were in an obsessive loop.

905
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,400
Since you're asking the label would be something like purely

906
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,480
obsessional OCD or pure Oh, it's when some heavy anxiety

907
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:10,599
that typically contradicts who we are becomes trapped in a loop.

908
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,199
So I think that's important. Heavy anxiety that typically contradicts

909
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,239
who we are becomes trapped in a loop. Because that

910
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,920
was the thing, Like I couldn't make sense of why

911
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,280
I was obsessing and fixating on this one thing because

912
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,000
like I i'm mentally and this is something I struggle with,

913
00:44:24,039 --> 00:44:26,679
like where I can mentally know, like don't give this

914
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,280
energy to this person it's coming back to you, like

915
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,639
all energy you put out returns to you. I can

916
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,079
know that and that I can behave in a completely

917
00:44:34,079 --> 00:44:37,039
different way. And that's you know, a little bit of

918
00:44:37,039 --> 00:44:40,519
a cognitive dissonance within myself where I'm just like, fuck,

919
00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:42,840
and this isn't who I want to be, This isn't

920
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,800
what I want to spend my energy on. So I

921
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,480
think that's like a really profound way to put it.

922
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:51,719
But the compulsions usually aren't outward but more mental compulsions

923
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,719
like checking. And you did a ton of checking, let's

924
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,159
just say, but you came and you got through it

925
00:44:55,199 --> 00:44:57,079
in the most absolute sense where I look back and

926
00:44:57,119 --> 00:44:59,960
realized I had forgotten about that specific rumination for a while,

927
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,119
which says a ton And yeah, she forgot about it

928
00:45:02,119 --> 00:45:03,800
because I had so many other issues, you know, I

929
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,599
had so much other shit come up. One of the

930
00:45:07,639 --> 00:45:10,159
things that she did help me identify was what my

931
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,639
mom's mental health struggle was. As I explained the relationship

932
00:45:13,639 --> 00:45:16,639
to her, she told me, you know, I can't diagnose

933
00:45:16,639 --> 00:45:18,760
someone I've never seen, but it sounds like, you know,

934
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:24,840
she's borderline. And the question I asked her is can

935
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,519
we talk about borderline? How difficult it is to deal with,

936
00:45:27,679 --> 00:45:30,519
and how anyone who's listening that's dealing with a borderline

937
00:45:30,519 --> 00:45:36,239
person can help navigate those specifically painful relationships. So she's like,

938
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,679
I likely said something more like, I can't diagnose a

939
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,599
person I've never treated, but the symptoms you are talking

940
00:45:41,599 --> 00:45:45,159
about seem congruent with borderline personality disorder. It was obvious

941
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,360
to me at the time, but I have to be

942
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,239
careful with it. In your case, I felt like it

943
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,159
would help you put the pieces of your life together.

944
00:45:50,559 --> 00:45:52,679
Sometimes when a loved one treats us a certain way

945
00:45:52,679 --> 00:45:55,239
for so long, specifically a role model like a mom

946
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,599
whose job it is to take care of her daughter

947
00:45:57,639 --> 00:46:00,440
and to love her unconditionally, When that doesn't and we

948
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,719
can turn inward and think that maybe we aren't lovable

949
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,199
or it's my fault, which I've thought my entire life.

950
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,280
I want it to be clear as day that not

951
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,679
only was it not your fault in any way whatsoever,

952
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,880
but that you deserve so much more. That you were

953
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,360
dealt the shitty hand in surviving what you did in

954
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,840
the way that you did says a lot about your

955
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,800
fortitude and strength. But the negative behaviors also make sense

956
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,800
basically that you make sense the puzzle fits. I think

957
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,000
it helps to know that we aren't like aliens who

958
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,159
have drifted off into a land where we are unknown

959
00:46:26,199 --> 00:46:28,519
and alone and weird. No, you're exactly right, and you

960
00:46:28,599 --> 00:46:31,239
make total, incomplete sense. And I will say, like once

961
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:34,400
she helped me kind of identify my mom's mental illness,

962
00:46:34,519 --> 00:46:37,360
it did make sense. I finally started reading literature like

963
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:42,000
Walking on Eggshells, which I've talked about before, or Mother Hunger,

964
00:46:42,199 --> 00:46:44,320
or like any of the multiple books that I've read

965
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,559
to kind of help me cope with that hole that

966
00:46:46,599 --> 00:46:48,280
I had in my life where my mom was supposed

967
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:52,280
to be. And then another question I asked her, And

968
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,960
this might, you know, be pertinent to some of you

969
00:46:55,039 --> 00:46:58,440
who have more painful relationships with parents or family members.

970
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,320
But I said, if a patient has a complicate or

971
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,119
toxic relationship with a parent, do you have guidelines on

972
00:47:03,159 --> 00:47:04,480
how to handle that? And how do you feel, like,

973
00:47:04,599 --> 00:47:07,519
how do you feel about cutting a parent off? So

974
00:47:07,559 --> 00:47:09,719
she said, what you're talking about is a cutoff, and

975
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,480
according to Bowen, cutoffs are never the answer. I think

976
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,440
that's right in some ways, but i'd modified to say

977
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:16,719
it probably is not the first line of treatment. We

978
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:20,159
do some things first, like setting boundaries, communicating, changing ourselves

979
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,400
before cutting someone out of the family completely. The less

980
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,440
obvious reason for this is because we are all part

981
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,039
of a family system and one person. When one person

982
00:47:28,079 --> 00:47:30,880
shifts and changes, it shifts and changes the entire system.

983
00:47:31,199 --> 00:47:34,039
So even just changing you changes the dynamics of the whole.

984
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:36,000
But I'm not a dummy. There's only so much we

985
00:47:36,039 --> 00:47:37,800
can do. And if we're still being harmed and we've

986
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,440
tried the options, they haven't worked. Perhaps cutting off a

987
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,440
parent or rather shutting them out for a time being

988
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,079
as necessary, I would say, maybe you close the door,

989
00:47:45,119 --> 00:47:47,519
but don't fully lock it. So there's one last thing

990
00:47:47,599 --> 00:47:49,719
I want to say from my therapist before, and she

991
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,599
wrote so much more, and I really do want to

992
00:47:51,639 --> 00:47:54,920
have her on when you know, life allows it. But

993
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,920
this one I think was helpful because I've had a

994
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,679
lot of you DM me about sobriety, and like I said,

995
00:48:00,679 --> 00:48:05,440
I'm not fucking perfect, but a lot of you, you know,

996
00:48:05,639 --> 00:48:08,719
are either trying to quit or you're California sober or

997
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,280
whatever you are. I've had a lot of dms about this,

998
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,880
but my therapist helped me identify my alcoholism. And she

999
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,840
told me basically that for me to make a decision

1000
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,480
every day whether or not I was going to drink,

1001
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:20,800
and I could wake up in the morning and say

1002
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:22,559
I'm gonna drink, and I could wake up every day

1003
00:48:22,559 --> 00:48:24,320
and say I'm gonna drink and that would be fine.

1004
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,559
But if ever I woke up and said I'm not

1005
00:48:26,599 --> 00:48:29,920
gonna drink, then I couldn't drink that day. And I

1006
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,320
remember I had woken up on a random Wednesday and

1007
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,199
I was like, I'm not going to drink today, and

1008
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:36,960
I was on my second beer before I realized I

1009
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:41,199
had said that, and I was like, oh, no, I'm

1010
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:46,079
not driving, Jesuys take the wheel. So that she basically

1011
00:48:46,119 --> 00:48:48,760
helped me get to a conclusion she had already gotten to.

1012
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,079
And so you know, I said to her, you used

1013
00:48:52,119 --> 00:48:54,079
gentle parenting to help me get to a conclusion you

1014
00:48:54,079 --> 00:48:56,199
already knew to be true. Explain this approach and how

1015
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,440
it's more helpful than telling someone point blank that they're

1016
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:02,039
an addict or alcoholic. And I think this feedback is

1017
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,440
important because, like I said, we are all going into

1018
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,519
the holidays, and I would bet every single one of

1019
00:49:06,599 --> 00:49:08,760
us if we're not an addict or an alcoholic. Ourselves

1020
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,280
has someone in their family unit that is one. So

1021
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:15,280
watching someone kill themselves with drugs and alcoholic can be

1022
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,719
so painful and you feel so helpless and you want

1023
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,320
to control it and you want to help them, and

1024
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,400
you want to be like, do this thing, and you

1025
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,079
can't force them. And one thing addicts are is defiant

1026
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,320
and if you tell them, they're one thing Like I

1027
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,440
remember my mom told me, like, you're an alcoholic, and

1028
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,320
I was like, I'll fucking show you an alcoholic beach.

1029
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:35,199
Like my whole life was an elaborate performance arpiece to

1030
00:49:35,199 --> 00:49:37,360
make my mom believe that I could drink and also

1031
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:39,400
have all the things that she couldn't have, you know,

1032
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,239
and she couldn't have the things that I eventually worked

1033
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,480
so hard to get because her mental illness got in

1034
00:49:45,519 --> 00:49:49,280
the way. It really so anyway, my whole performative art

1035
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,159
piece that I did for her didn't make a ton

1036
00:49:51,199 --> 00:49:54,320
of sense, But that doesn't really matter. So anyway, she says,

1037
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,039
this one might be obvious, but there are a million

1038
00:49:56,079 --> 00:49:57,480
places I try to get you to go, but I

1039
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:59,440
can't just tell you. I give you a map and

1040
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,719
you discover or what's there? On your own. Addiction is

1041
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,400
incredibly tricky because not only our addicts using the drugs

1042
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,360
to cope or for a reason they might want to

1043
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,880
hold on to. It's the fastest way to make someone

1044
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,440
put walls up and become defensive. And even if I

1045
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,559
did say something about what I believed and you agreed,

1046
00:50:13,599 --> 00:50:15,639
it doesn't mean you're ready to go there and get sober.

1047
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,039
So the idea that it was gentle is maybe just

1048
00:50:18,159 --> 00:50:21,000
you gaining an awareness with someone who cares about you

1049
00:50:21,039 --> 00:50:23,199
and you know who won't judge you either way. You've

1050
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:24,920
always been the most willing to look at yourself in

1051
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,199
the mirror. You're not a person who avoids or denies.

1052
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:29,559
Once you know something, you tend to acknowledge it and

1053
00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:33,280
grow from it. But also that's why the line one

1054
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,000
day at a time exists. It's too daunting thinking beyond

1055
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:39,119
today when it comes to something we rely on, it's brilliant. Really,

1056
00:50:39,159 --> 00:50:42,840
I don't think AA would have many newcomers without the

1057
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,760
one day at a time. Okay, so the last thing

1058
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,400
I met This is actually the last thing I'm gonna

1059
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:51,519
share with you, because I've been open about my imperfect

1060
00:50:51,599 --> 00:50:56,119
journey with trying to abstain from drugs and alcohol. But

1061
00:50:56,159 --> 00:50:58,599
I said, my journey with sobriety has been imperfect. I've

1062
00:50:58,599 --> 00:51:00,320
gone back and forth with weed and mush. Do you

1063
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,639
think sobriety as one size fits all or can it

1064
00:51:02,679 --> 00:51:06,119
be different for each individual person? She said, this might

1065
00:51:06,159 --> 00:51:09,679
be an unpopular opinion among some people. I absolutely don't

1066
00:51:09,679 --> 00:51:12,639
think sobriety and twelve step is one size fits all.

1067
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,079
I don't think anything in life is black and white.

1068
00:51:15,199 --> 00:51:16,679
Do I think a ton of people need to be

1069
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:19,199
abstinentate from all drugs and alcohol? Yes, no doubt in

1070
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,239
twelve step and the abstinence part has saved so many lives.

1071
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,559
But the funny thing is, and to take this combo

1072
00:51:24,639 --> 00:51:27,840
back to cognitive behavioral therapy, one of the more common

1073
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:31,280
irrational cognitive distortions is black and white thinking, and another

1074
00:51:31,519 --> 00:51:35,079
is overgeneralizing. Here's how I see AA, and please only

1075
00:51:35,159 --> 00:51:37,639
use this as a metaphor and not a negative. Using

1076
00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:41,000
abstinence for all cases of alcoholism is like using penicillin

1077
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:44,199
for all cases of bacteria. I can promise you it

1078
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,960
will work in most cases because it's the strongest. But

1079
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,679
there are more antibiotics that can fit specific ailments. More pointedly.

1080
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,719
Does that make sense in your case? Like all cases,

1081
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,440
it was multi coded and way more than the drinking

1082
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,079
and drugging. That's why I told you not to worry

1083
00:51:58,119 --> 00:52:01,199
about relapse or whatever, because I think that shaming. That's

1084
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:03,239
shaming for a lot of people. You have grown more

1085
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:05,280
in these last years than anyone I know. Really, For

1086
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,360
anyone to take that away and reduce I'm gonna cry now, Okay,

1087
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,239
for anyone to take that away and reduce it down

1088
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:12,960
to relapse is a lie. In my opinion, I'm a

1089
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,159
big believer in following the spirit of the rule, not

1090
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:19,280
just the exact rule. For example, what's the spirit of

1091
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,559
the rule of sobriety? Like, why is it there when

1092
00:52:21,599 --> 00:52:24,039
you're taking mushrooms periodically and weed? I think you were

1093
00:52:24,039 --> 00:52:26,079
adhering to the spirit and the rule of living a

1094
00:52:26,079 --> 00:52:29,599
sober life because we know sobriety is only a small

1095
00:52:29,639 --> 00:52:34,599
part about abstaining. There's so much more juicy, valuable, wonderful

1096
00:52:34,679 --> 00:52:36,559
insights that she has. But like I said, I am

1097
00:52:36,599 --> 00:52:38,320
going to try really hard to get her back on

1098
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,079
this podcast before I moved to Palm Beach. It might

1099
00:52:41,159 --> 00:52:43,039
take a miracle and it might not happen, but I'm

1100
00:52:43,079 --> 00:52:45,039
going to try my hardest because I do think she's

1101
00:52:45,039 --> 00:52:48,639
a brilliant woman and she has helped me with my

1102
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:54,480
OCD thinking, with my depression, with my divorce, with my sobriety.

1103
00:52:54,599 --> 00:52:56,800
She has helped me just become the person that I

1104
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,440
am today. I know it's like I had to do

1105
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,760
the work, but I wouldn't have gotten there without her guidance.

1106
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,039
And she's such a profound part of my journey and

1107
00:53:05,519 --> 00:53:07,880
I really want you guys to hear her and these

1108
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,239
kind of these answers come out of her own mouth.

1109
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:13,239
So I'm not gonna cannibalize the rest of the interview

1110
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,960
and say things, you know, I would rather that she

1111
00:53:17,079 --> 00:53:20,039
just comes on. So we're gonna wrap this episode up.

1112
00:53:20,039 --> 00:53:23,679
We're gonna do a little bit of bad vice. We're

1113
00:53:23,679 --> 00:53:26,079
gonna do badvice. We are, we Are, we are. Okay,

1114
00:53:26,679 --> 00:53:30,280
I got a bad vice submission. By the way, submit

1115
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,840
to my DMS directly, or you can submit to the

1116
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,800
Talk and Schmidt DMS. I'm checking both and I need

1117
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,760
you guys to send in more. I just had one

1118
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,960
for this week, but it's a juicy one. Okay. I've

1119
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,079
been with my boyfriend for eight plus years and he

1120
00:53:43,199 --> 00:53:46,119
still hasn't proposed, which is fine. Marriage isn't a must

1121
00:53:46,199 --> 00:53:49,360
for me. We're both products of divorce so messy they

1122
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,000
should be on hoarders. I'm not trying to recreate that.

1123
00:53:52,119 --> 00:53:55,400
But I'm almost thirty five and my biological clock isn't ticking,

1124
00:53:55,519 --> 00:53:57,840
it's detonating. I want a baby. He knows I want

1125
00:53:57,840 --> 00:53:59,960
a baby, and we have been to therapy about it,

1126
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:03,320
but he wants to wait, like my ovaries are Amazon

1127
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,599
Prime and I can just deliver whenever I want. First

1128
00:54:05,599 --> 00:54:08,880
of all, this girl's hilarious. Meanwhile, I'm googling signs your

1129
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,559
geriatric at two am while he sleeps like a man

1130
00:54:11,599 --> 00:54:16,719
with no deadlines. What do I do? Hmmm, uh, a

1131
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,719
tale as old as time. You gotta freeze your eggs.

1132
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:22,599
I mean, look into your insurance. This is the only

1133
00:54:22,679 --> 00:54:26,039
thing you can do to free yourself from the pressure

1134
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,440
of the clock ticking backwards and feeling like it's detonating.

1135
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,199
It's freezer eggs and it can be expensive. So if

1136
00:54:33,199 --> 00:54:34,840
that's not an option, you might have to get a

1137
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:36,920
new boyfriend. I don't know what to say. It's been

1138
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,639
eight years, Like what is he waiting on the world

1139
00:54:39,639 --> 00:54:42,960
to change? Like what's he waiting for. I just it's

1140
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:44,880
you either want to get or you don't. And that's

1141
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,719
something that I think you have to align on really

1142
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:49,440
early in a relationship because this can be the impetus

1143
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:52,679
of a breakup or a heartbreak. You know, like if

1144
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:54,639
you really want a baby and you're really set on

1145
00:54:54,679 --> 00:54:56,920
that and he wants to wait and you don't think

1146
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,079
you can. First of all, I would like to say that,

1147
00:54:59,199 --> 00:55:02,199
like I think the I can't pass a certain age

1148
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:05,280
that's not really real, Like it's so rude that they

1149
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,280
call it a geriatric pregnancy after like thirty four, because

1150
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,639
it's I have had so many friends have healthy, beautiful

1151
00:55:11,639 --> 00:55:15,000
babies in their forties. But it is also an issue

1152
00:55:15,039 --> 00:55:17,440
of the real issue is fertility and whether or not

1153
00:55:17,639 --> 00:55:19,719
you will be fertile for the next five years. So

1154
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:22,960
I would say, if you can go, look into freezing

1155
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:27,239
your eggs, because it's the only true freedom from this

1156
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,480
clock taking backwards thing. Like when I got divorced. When

1157
00:55:30,519 --> 00:55:32,559
I was married, I never thought I wanted kids. I

1158
00:55:32,599 --> 00:55:35,800
never thought I me and my ex husband were like nope, nope, nope,

1159
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,639
never never, never, And then right when I got divorced,

1160
00:55:38,679 --> 00:55:41,480
I was like I had baby fever. I had never

1161
00:55:41,519 --> 00:55:45,000
wanted a baby more. But I think the realization that

1162
00:55:45,079 --> 00:55:47,679
I had was I didn't want a baby with my

1163
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:51,159
ex husband, And that sucks to say, but like I

1164
00:55:51,199 --> 00:55:52,840
was taking care of him, I already had a kid,

1165
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,920
you know, So I didn't want that. So I froze

1166
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,880
my eggs. And it's one of the best things I've

1167
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,280
done for myself because it's not I'm not on some

1168
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,360
crazy timeline. And you know now that I do have

1169
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:06,159
a boyfriend who's significantly younger and definitely not ready for kids,

1170
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:08,440
it gives us a lot of freedom and leeway that

1171
00:56:08,599 --> 00:56:12,119
like we're both in the camp, like we're open to

1172
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:16,159
having babies, but it's never been either of ours, like

1173
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,800
on the list of things we must do in this lifetime.

1174
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,800
Like I'm not the person that grew up and it

1175
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:23,039
sounds like you are. So this is definitely no shade.

1176
00:56:23,079 --> 00:56:24,679
I had never grew up being like I need to

1177
00:56:24,679 --> 00:56:27,119
be a mother. Like I didn't play dolls. I ripped

1178
00:56:27,119 --> 00:56:28,960
my Barbie's head off and threw them in the fucking

1179
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:33,039
horse pasture. Okay I didn't. I was a little sadistic,

1180
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,679
But I also think, like, you know, I look back

1181
00:56:35,679 --> 00:56:38,039
at my mom's style of parenting and how I rate

1182
00:56:38,159 --> 00:56:40,440
she always was, and how tired she always was, and

1183
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,199
how she felt like she had no time for herself.

1184
00:56:42,199 --> 00:56:44,239
And I remember one time she shook my shoulders and

1185
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,280
she looked me in the eyes. I think it was

1186
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,039
one of the only honest things she ever said to me.

1187
00:56:48,079 --> 00:56:51,199
She said, don't ever have kids. They're going to ruin

1188
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:54,239
your life. And I felt that. I felt that in

1189
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:56,280
my like spinal cord. I was like, Oh, she just

1190
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,920
told me the truth. But that said, you want kids,

1191
00:56:59,079 --> 00:57:01,760
freeze your eggs if you can. If not, I do

1192
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,199
think you have to give them a deadline, because I think,

1193
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,920
no matter what, no matter how many times I tell you, like, oh,

1194
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:08,559
you're you know you can have a kid until you're

1195
00:57:08,599 --> 00:57:11,719
forty or whatever, there's a chance you can. Like I

1196
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:16,400
also have friends that you know, really really struggle or

1197
00:57:16,519 --> 00:57:19,199
just simply cannot have kids past a certain age, and

1198
00:57:19,239 --> 00:57:22,639
it's heartbreaking. So I don't want you to experience that heartbreak.

1199
00:57:22,679 --> 00:57:25,559
So if you're not with a partner who's willing to

1200
00:57:25,559 --> 00:57:27,440
commit to you in that way, which is something that

1201
00:57:27,519 --> 00:57:30,480
you've been clear about from the jump, then I think

1202
00:57:30,519 --> 00:57:32,440
you might have to cut your losses, because at the

1203
00:57:32,519 --> 00:57:35,280
end of the day, having a baby is probably more

1204
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,199
important to you than having a non committal boyfriend. But

1205
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,880
I think you know, it's tough for us when we

1206
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,000
put eight years into something. It's like, you want to

1207
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:45,599
see the ROI right, you want the return on investment.

1208
00:57:45,679 --> 00:57:48,239
You're like, what what did I get from this? And

1209
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:50,440
sometimes you don't get anything. Sometimes all you do is

1210
00:57:50,639 --> 00:57:53,519
do is get lessons, and then you lose a chunk.

1211
00:57:53,559 --> 00:57:55,519
You're no, I'm not saying you lose a chunk of your life,

1212
00:57:55,519 --> 00:57:58,960
but like you know, sometimes it's a lesson rather than

1213
00:57:59,079 --> 00:58:00,880
building a life with something. And I think you just

1214
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,840
ultimately have to decide. Like also, if this person's wishy

1215
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,079
washy about having a kid, god forbid, you have the

1216
00:58:06,159 --> 00:58:08,400
kid with them, and then they don't want to be

1217
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,280
a parent, and then they can't show up for you.

1218
00:58:10,519 --> 00:58:13,280
And then for whatever reason, whether you're a single mom

1219
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,199
or not, you feel like one because you don't have

1220
00:58:15,239 --> 00:58:17,480
a partner that's in it, you know. I think one

1221
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:22,559
of the best examples of true co parenting brilliance is

1222
00:58:23,559 --> 00:58:26,559
Alex Bennett and Harrison Fugman, Like, I have never seen

1223
00:58:26,679 --> 00:58:29,239
a dad more excited to be a parent than Harrison,

1224
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:33,119
Like he is making their kids costumes, he's taking care

1225
00:58:33,119 --> 00:58:35,719
of Alex when she's pregnant, he's driving her everywhere. He

1226
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:38,199
does so much for her. And that is literally what

1227
00:58:38,239 --> 00:58:41,960
you need in order to have a family. That doesn't

1228
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,400
feel like a crushing responsibility. So I want you to

1229
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,159
take it all into effect. I don't want you to

1230
00:58:46,239 --> 00:58:49,719
make someone rush into having a kid if they're not

1231
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:53,440
ready and they've specifically told you that, and then you

1232
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,840
get the baby and it's like yipee, and then it's

1233
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:59,280
eighteen years of you basically being a single parent, Like

1234
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,320
that's another bad outcome. So I think I really want

1235
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,360
you to take a three sixty look at this. If

1236
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:07,159
you can freezy eggs, do that. If you can't, if

1237
00:59:07,159 --> 00:59:09,039
your health insurance doesn't cover it, you're not in the

1238
00:59:09,159 --> 00:59:12,360
position financially to cover it. I think you need to

1239
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,760
have a real come to Jesus with this man and

1240
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,320
also yourself and be like, is this the person that

1241
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:20,599
I want to build a family with. Your submission was hilarious.

1242
00:59:20,599 --> 00:59:24,559
You should be a writer. Amaze. I don't know. I

1243
00:59:24,599 --> 00:59:27,280
just said amazing. You're doing amazing, sweetie, No, you are

1244
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,280
doing amazing. I know this is really challenging for a

1245
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,320
lot of women, and I just am sending you a

1246
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,280
ton of love and I hope you figure it out, okay,

1247
00:59:34,519 --> 00:59:37,280
And we are gonna end the show with a little

1248
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:43,079
word of the week, shall we? Ugh this is a

1249
00:59:43,119 --> 00:59:48,800
fun one. Be draggled, b E d r A g

1250
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,760
g l ed, be draggled. It's an adjective. It means

1251
00:59:52,239 --> 00:59:58,159
harried or in a condition of disarray, unkempt, dirty, and limp. Oh,

1252
00:59:58,199 --> 01:00:01,719
we don't like a bedraggled day. You know, nobody wants

1253
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,119
a bedraggled dick on Christmas? Can we keep the cocks

1254
01:00:05,159 --> 01:00:07,679
heart on Christmas? It's all we're asking for, just one

1255
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,039
day of the year. Put a little blue chew in

1256
01:00:10,079 --> 01:00:12,880
your man's stocking and keep the cock's heart on Christmas.

1257
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,239
We don't want your bedraggled dick.

1258
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 2: Those are family events. Huh? Those are family events? What

1259
01:00:19,519 --> 01:00:20,400
is Christmas?

1260
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 1: Well? I know, but you're there with your maybe a

1261
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:25,639
man or you know what, Sometimes you leave Christmas to

1262
01:00:25,679 --> 01:00:29,480
go get a bedraggled dick. Can Sometimes you leave Christmas

1263
01:00:29,519 --> 01:00:31,639
you fly out of the fa after you choke, slam

1264
01:00:31,679 --> 01:00:33,960
your hand in the fucking ham, you burn out of

1265
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,119
the driveway, you go to the local pub, and you

1266
01:00:36,159 --> 01:00:40,320
get yourself a bedraggled whiskey dick. Okay, anyway, a group

1267
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:43,639
of bedraggled orphans stood outside begging for the by the

1268
01:00:43,679 --> 01:00:46,599
flickering gas like, well, that's sad. Okay, bedraggled, that's a

1269
01:00:46,639 --> 01:00:47,159
funny word.

1270
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,719
Speaker 2: But Draggle's only gonna come before the word dick in

1271
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:50,079
my world.

1272
01:00:50,159 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, but draggled dick.

1273
01:00:51,599 --> 01:00:54,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I only know it is a two fur.

1274
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. It is one hundred percent of two fur. Okay,

1275
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:02,360
you guys. I wish you all merry Christmas, Happy Holidays,

1276
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,199
whatever you celebrate. I hope you have a great New

1277
01:01:04,239 --> 01:01:09,119
year all of those things. Please subscribe to my YouTube.

1278
01:01:09,679 --> 01:01:12,920
Watch on YouTube, listen on Spotify, subscribe on Apple, Give

1279
01:01:13,079 --> 01:01:15,360
me give Mama some stars? Could you for Christmas? You

1280
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,920
could give me some stars. I am trying to make

1281
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:21,239
this little podcast pop and anything you can do to

1282
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:25,079
help me is super appreciated. I love you, besties, and

1283
01:01:25,119 --> 01:01:27,320
I can't wait to see you next week.

1284
01:01:27,239 --> 01:01:29,760
Speaker 3: And go watch the special on OnlyFans. We can't put

1285
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,639
the link in the bio because of YouTube community guidelines,

1286
01:01:32,639 --> 01:01:34,880
and we don't want to get flagged, but go watch

1287
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:35,440
the special.

1288
01:01:35,679 --> 01:01:38,679
Speaker 1: Oh that's fun. That's a fun addition that I just

1289
01:01:38,719 --> 01:01:40,960
found out about