Speaker 1: I made a decision.
Speaker 2: Pay sunny sad on my head a vision.
Speaker 1: It's nice. Hello everybody, it's me Stephanie. Welcome to fcol.
Lynette is not here today because she's sick. She has
a bad cold, and she was like, hey, why don't
we just cancel this week and run a best of?
And I was like, how dare you, Lynette? That is
why would you rob from our fans with the show
the updates that they so deserved. So I brought in
one of my best friends, Tamra Mello. Hi Tamra, Hi,
Hi guys, she's been here before. Sorry, I just took
off my headphones because I had to make sure the
sound was right because I'm also the engineer of the show.
Speaker 2: She's producing, she's engineering or.
Speaker 1: A lot of hats. So Tamra was on, I think
you co hosted with me and you were just a
regular guest. You did you do it twice?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I think I only did it one time. Oh I
think so I've done your drunkish podcast a couple of
times all time.
Speaker 2: I think I've only done this once. Well, she's back, I'm.
Speaker 1: Back more showbiz stories. She uh. I feel like I
want to give you like a proper introduction. She's an actress,
but you also know her as our jewelry business extraordinary.
I'm wearing one of her pieces right now. Ye bring
your little chunk locket chain so cute. The holidays are
coming up, so why would you not go to Gray
by tam Ramello on the old Etsy and just peruse
some gifts?
Speaker 2: Why would you not?
Speaker 1: She does? Your main thing is like anniversary type stuff.
You work with metals?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do a lot of anniversary bracelets. A lot
of I handstamp like a Roman numeral date or your names,
or you know, like a little love note onto metal,
and then I form it into a bracelet.
Speaker 2: I do a lot of that.
Speaker 3: But this weekend I decided that I had far too
many beads, like semi precious stone beads collecting dust in
my studios. So I spent literally twelve hours on Saturday
sitting in front of the television making bracelets. So if
anybody needs any stretchy bracelets, I'm sellad. I'm real cheap
twelve bucks on the website they make wow, Yeah, and
they're really pretty. I just am trying to get rid
of stuff to make some more room.
Speaker 1: What are you Okay, so you have I keep feeling
like the audience doesn't remember you have a son, your
son Gray. He's at Berkeley now, he's home right now, visiting.
So have you been thinking about Christmas gifts? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about Well I did end up, did I
tell you this? When we were at Costco looking at headphones.
I ended up getting him a pair of Bo's headphones
because he's a sound engineer and he's got like these shitty,
like twenty five dollars headphones that he bought himself because
he liked the color.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and that's not good. No, it's ridiculous. So
I got him a pair of nice headphones.
Speaker 3: But I'm also thinking of getting him like some airline
gift cards because his boyfriend goes to school in Boston.
Speaker 2: And they miss each other so much.
Speaker 3: So I thought that's probably the way to go, so
he can fly and see his boyfriend and not have
to worry about paying for it.
Speaker 1: Oh that is so sweet.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now is his boyfriend home right now? Have they seen
each other?
Speaker 3: They haven't seen each other yet. His boyfriend gets home
I think late? Oh so late tonight is today?
Speaker 1: Todayay, Today's when people are listening to this. It's Tuesday, Okay,
today's we're recording on a Monday.
Speaker 3: I have no idea what day it is. So he
gets home late tomorrow night and they're so cute. But
Grayson came home on Friday. He wasn't supposed to come
home until today, and then his classes got canceled, so
he came home Friday. And I'm so excited because I
get like four extra days with him that I didn't
know I was going to have. And once the boyfriend
is home, all bets are off. I'm going to like
lose him. So I'm like honkering down and like making
him watch shows with me.
Speaker 1: And I made you leave your house today. It's okay.
Speaker 3: I think he can survive without me for a couple
of hours. He's probably stoked, like like please please leave
me alone.
Speaker 1: So funny this morning. Xander, Well, so Xander is supposed
to be well. First of all, I almost feel weird
talking about Xander. And here's why. The other day did
I tell you this? The other day, We're in the
car and his phone connected to the bluetooth and oh no,
oh no, and it's just started playing for crying out loud,
and I was like wait, wait, what why is Oh?
Why is playing on your phone? And he was like, oh,
I just because I subscribe. I don't like He's like,
I wasn't listening to it, but it's he was listening
to something. It can come up because I subscribe. Maybe
maybe I was like, now I have to be careful
talking about him. Yeah, pretty am careful talking about him,
but now I have to be more careful talking about him. Yeah,
he's been on house arrest right now.
Speaker 2: Because of college apps. Yes, how's he doing?
Speaker 1: I never thought there would be a person who is
more procrastinator than Elbie. Elbie and I, our audience knows
very well. I don't want to say almost came to
blows because that would be overstating it. But like most
tension ever, when it came to the college applications, because
at some point I was just like, you're not leaving
the house until you finish your essays. And looking back,
she tells me, she has told me many times, I
am so glad you did that. Did it twice the
year that she didn't end up getting in, and then
the next year was almost worse because she was so
scared about how it came out. The year BEFO. Yes,
she was defeated. She was defeated and anxious and not
wanting to do it. And I was like, oh, you're
doing it. Yeah, you didn't go through this year of
hell did not apply. You're doing it. Not a year.
It hadn't been a year, but it had been not
getting in in let's say April March, right, and now
it was November. So it had been six months of
knowing she wasn't going to college, then starting Pierce and
then so that whole thing. I made her do it.
How I'm doing that kind of with Xander.
Speaker 3: Do you think there's any world where Xander feels like, well,
Alby didn't get in on her first try, so I
probably won't either.
Speaker 2: So I'm not going to bother. I'm not going to
work as hard at it.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not that I think Xander's not going to
get in. He's going to get in tons of places.
Speaker 1: Well, we'll see. I don't know, because I don't know.
I don't know what's going to happen. Because he's only
applying to a few schools that he says. He says
he only wants to apply to schools that he would
go to, and so he feels very comfortable with the
idea that if he doesn't get into a school he
really wants to go to, he'll just do what i'l
Bee did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's so smart. Grayson was saying the
other day that he almost wished that he had done that.
He's like, he saved so much money, you know, And
I think that was his main reason, is that you
just you save a ton of money and you still
get to go to the school you want to. Anyway, No,
he's not paying for it, but he's he's I don't
know how, but this child is very frugal minded. Like
yesterday he was at the mall with a friend and
he texted me. He's like, I spent so much money.
I shouldn't have, Like on these dumb they're called like
gotcha machines. They're like these Japanese kind of machines that
you like put money in and you got like a
blind bag or something. And like this child, he loves
a trinket. It's the bane of my existence. But anyway,
he's like, oh, I spent so much money.
Speaker 2: I feel so dumb. I shouldn't have. And I was like, honey,
you never spend money on just like fun.
Speaker 3: Stuff, don't worry about it, thinking he had spent like
eighty dollars on bullshit and he comes home and he's like,
I spent eighteen dollars. He's very money conscious and I
appreciate that as his mother.
Speaker 2: But anyway, back to Xander.
Speaker 1: I don't think I think Xander is thinking that way.
He's just doesn't know what he wants to do, and
what he does want to do doesn't really matter if
you go to college, right. He wants to live at
home and like be in ground do groundlings, and take
stand up classes and like kind of do what he
wants to be doing. And he sees college as like,
I don't know, just more boring classes that aren't going
to matter to my future. But of course, speaking as
an ex stand up comedian turned writer turned like struggle,
always struggling to figure out what's next, I'm like, it
wouldn't hurt you to spend four years fuck around to
college then and take a bunch of things that you
want to do, and then join an improv group at college.
Speaker 3: Like it's a huge gift I think to give to
your kid, saying, go fuck around for four years in
college and I'm going to pay for it. I think
that's an amazing gift. But also, you know, like at eighteen,
they think that they know everything already, right, so it's tough.
That being said, Xander is the consummate performer. Like before
I even knew you, I saw Xander in something at school,
and that kid he lights up a fucking room. Like
he gets on that stage and he owns the stage.
Speaker 2: There are zero nerves. He's great at improv.
Speaker 3: Like, you know, can I guarantee that he's going to
have a successful career as a stand up.
Speaker 2: No, but I think he's got a shot just based
on talent.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's never done it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Listen, I was like he. I was like he was
at that same age. I mean at eighteen, I was like,
I'm just gonna move out to LA and like be
a stand up.
Speaker 3: Although I do have to say that most comics that
I know yourself included, there's there's a darkness that do
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's like a lot of comics come.
Speaker 3: From a sort of like fucked up background and there's
a darkness that lends itself to the comedy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like Xander is just like all light and love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he is. I mean, he's got his stuff.
You know, he's got his stuff that I'm sure he
can pull from. I don't know. Listen, I'm so torn
because of course John is like John will be supportive
obviously no matter what, right, But John feels like that
would be a huge waste for him to not go
to college.
Speaker 3: Well, John did tell me the other day not to
speak out of school about your husband. But he was
kind of like cool with the idea of Xander going
to Peers for a couple of years. Really, yeah, he's
he actually seemed enthused by it. And if you're wondering
why I'm hanging out with Stephanie's husb without her, yeah,
I know. We were doing a Thanksgiving thing and Stephanie
couldn't come.
Speaker 1: So John feeding the immigrants, Yeah, joins me in that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we did a nice Thanksgiving dinner for the guys
and it was very sweet and they were very grateful
and it was it was a beautiful experience.
Speaker 1: But now I prepared mac and cheese, so my job.
This was one of the few times that I didn't go.
Speaker 2: The only time you didn't go.
Speaker 1: I didn't go in person, but I sent John yeah,
so I made I woke up in the morning and
made pots of like macaroni and cheese so I could
make a big platter of it. First of all, this
is just a little digression, but you know, sometimes it's
I have trouble with as simple as things like I
was assigned mac and cheese and pie. So pie was easy.
Although I went to the store the night before and
they were only selling half pies. Oh so I had
I bought it eight half pumpkin pie. Oh yeah, I
saw them there, right, Okay, So then the mac and cheese,
I was like, sure, I'm going to buy mac and cheese. Like,
I'm like, I'm not going to homemake mac and cheese
for forty people.
Speaker 2: I don't even know where you would get it.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you. So when I decided, I'm like, yeah,
I'll just buy it. And then the day before I
was like, where am I going to just buy it? Yeah?
Then I was going to go to at Ralph's they
have like that hot food area where they do mac
and cheese, and I was like, oh, I'll just go
there and buy like a platter of mac and cheese.
So I get there and it's all gone. I mean
it was only like seven thirty at night, but huh,
no hot food there anymore. So I was like, how
do I go about getting like a bunch of the
mac and cheese that you guys make, and she was like, oh,
you have to pre order that, so it would have
been too late in the morning. So then I was
going to go to Costco. Anyway, the whole thing started
making me really tired, so I went. I was like,
could I make just could I get away with just
making boxed mac and cheese? And then I thought that's
going to be super lame to get like craft mac
and cheese. But when I went to the boxed mac
and cheese aisle, I was like, oh, they have like
stuff that looks like real mac and cheese. Yeah, like shells.
So I bought like three family sized boxes and then
I just had to get up in the morning and
make mac and cheese.
Speaker 2: Like I had a couple of pots going didn't have
the powdered cheese.
Speaker 1: No, it actually no, it's like it was Amy's. It's
like velveta e.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, like it squeeze pouch.
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Was it good?
Speaker 1: Sure, it's no better? I don't know. I didn't taste it.
Speaker 3: I think that, like there's a particular person that really
likes to like some boxed mac and cheese. I am
not that person, although I do get the trader Joe's
has a boxed like white cheddar.
Speaker 1: That wis contact. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I used.
Speaker 3: To get that when I was like on my own
and like had no money, and I would get that
and I would mix a bunch of pepper into it,
so it was like like a faux coccio pepe Oh.
Like I even had to be extra with my box
mac and cheese. But we did have lots of mac
and cheese and.
Speaker 1: It all went. Yeah. So I sent John. So we
were doing a big Thanksgiving and there were I was like,
I don't know where I was going.
Speaker 2: I think he had to do this, didn't you know?
Speaker 1: I had to record that's what it was on Thursday mornings.
So I sent John with all the stuff and he
was so happy to see you.
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice. Yeah. We had a nice chat.
Speaker 1: Because I think he was a little nervous because he
knew Jane, our friend Jane, would be busy. She was
so busy. Tara was Aaron. I got to talk to
her the whole time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was nice.
Speaker 3: I was on the end passing out food and John
was on the end talking to me while I was
passing out food.
Speaker 1: He wasn't helping, No, he was helping. He would do things, honest,
be so for real right now.
Speaker 2: I think he might have been on plate duty.
Speaker 3: I can't remember, but like when I was thirsty, he
would fetch me drinks.
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice, that's nice. Yeah, No, it was good.
Speaker 3: He was helpful because when people were loading stuff in,
there was so much stuff, and then people kept asking me.
For whatever reason, there were people like like bringing stuff
in to like stalk the fridge and bringing other things
that had nothing to do with our group, but for
whatever reason, they all came to me.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't I don't know, I
don't know anything.
Speaker 1: Right, but it all got sorted and then yeah, and
then John said he got there and somebody had had
like a soda incident and didn't bring soda, so they
were he had They sent him to the store, Yeah,
to go procure many twelve packs of soda. So he
felt useful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was good.
Speaker 3: I did hear him saying like could I go to
seven eleven? I don't know where he ended up. I
also don't understand why it's so important for these guys
to have soda, Like it's a nice thing to have,
but they have like you know, like we don't need
to be pushing sugar on people.
Speaker 1: Big sugar. Yeah, that's true. I think the idea of
it is now I'm gonna like somehow splain to you.
I feel like the idea of it is for it
to be a treat. Yeah, for it to be like
for them to feel a little spoiled. Yeah, yeah, I
get it.
Speaker 2: I get that.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 3: The biggest thing that went the quickest was the El Poiloco.
Someone brought all poiloco and I remember thinking that is
so lazy.
Speaker 2: They loved it. They were bummed when it was gone.
Speaker 3: I was like, seriously, I made a whole turkey for
you jerks, and like they just wanted the chicken.
Speaker 1: You know what's really funny, is okay, so most of
the community, most of the guys there are Mexican or Hispanic, right, yeah,
And I literally was having this thought of like is
it racist to bring something that I feel like, you
know what I mean, Like in my brain, I was
like it would if I brought alo.
Speaker 2: Huh, well you would have been a hero because it
was fucking stoked about that in my.
Speaker 1: Head of like is that gonna feel like really like yeah,
because we're Mexican, like you're brain as alpoio loco. But
you know, then I'm like, but are they really appreciating
as much like all the subway sandwiches or would they
be like, we love El Poyo Locos. So thank you
for clarifying that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, they loved it.
Speaker 3: It was like the first thing that went and then
everybody's really into the ham somehow that I was trying
to cut with like a plastic knife.
Speaker 1: And I think I might just do cater l Poyo Loco.
Speaker 2: Then Yeah, seriously, they were super strid about it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's not that bad. You'd be surprised at
how much how expensive, like trying to do like a
Jersey Mike's order is.
Speaker 2: I know how expense it is? Yeah, because we tried
to do it for school for yes, we sure did. Yeah,
it's expensive. It's far more expensive than you think it
would be.
Speaker 3: I thought that we could get subway to cater for
like one hundred bucks, and it is not that it's
like seven or eight dollars per person.
Speaker 1: Oh, I did subway one week. A lot of people
have been so generously like throwing money at me to help.
You think, so I can do that, Like and I
did subway, but it came to it was like three
point fifty. Yeah, that's just for sandwiches because I brought
the other stuff separately.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We brought soda and chips separately. Yeah, and water.
Speaker 2: It's expensive.
Speaker 3: It's my hope that we can keep doing this because
they're so like grateful and appreciative, and you know, I
think that interest tends to wane a little bit the
more it goes on. But like, I feel like we're
in this for the long haul, you know, Like I
don't anticipate things getting better as much as Karen Bass
wants them to get better.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I agree, you know, I agree. So anyway,
to wrap up this part, Xander he has agreed to
really try to do his best job on the essays
and the applications. And then I told him, if you
feel that you want to do a year of peers
and stay home and like take do other you know,
do groundlings for that year and reapply in the fall,
I'm fine. Yeah, but you know, I still want you
to trus see where you get in, right, So he's
going to do that. But like we're getting to the deadline.
Speaker 2: Yeah is it November thirtieth?
Speaker 1: It's December first? Okay here, but still so whatever, I'm
trying to, yeah, not ask him twenty times a day,
like if he's done, so he's everybody's heard me talk
about Melissa and yes, Melissa, yeah, omrale amr al, I
think yeah, I think so. I don't know. I've sent
it to a lot of people, so he I guess
he turned it all in, he said last night or
I didn't ask him, but he was.
Speaker 3: That was his goal, Okay, you know, I mean all
he can do is what truly what he wants to do,
you know, And he's going to be fine. He's going
to get into some good schools and then he'll yeah,
have a choice to make.
Speaker 1: But before we move on to other topics, I want
to talk about neutrifil. We love nutrifhil. Here for crying
out loud Lynette has been taking nutrifil for a few
years now, and her hair is so like thick and
not spotty like in the front question.
Speaker 2: Do you Is it something that you take like a vitamin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a couple of moment got it. It's
a supplement. You just take it every day and it
does wonders so and it really is good for a
lot of different kinds of like hair thinning, shedding, you know,
just your hair health. I need that overall. Yeah, you
should really try it. Everybody who's tried it swears by it.
Speaker 3: The amount of hair on the bottom of my shower
after I washed my hair is shocking.
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That's neutrophil dot com promo code FCOL for ten dollars off. Okay,
I should tell you, and I don't want to cry
like I did on the show that, but Rippanel will
be hardest week of my whole life. Last week. I
on last week's show it was impending doom because it
was coming up on that Friday, and you spent time
with me after I had already made the decision, saw
how upset I was. One of the hard things, the
hardest thing I think was making that decision, you know.
And then during that week, you know, she just had
a lot of they call it, they call it like
she just had a few little rallies where it made
me like crazy because John and I just kept going like,
oh my god, I just took her out and she
went to the park, so I don't know, like you know,
and then I was looking it up online and it
was like, yeah, that that can happen. And then really
it was just the you know, it's just like every
time I looked at her, it just made me so sad. Yeah,
and then you.
Speaker 3: Did something which I don't think a lot of people do,
is you sort of gave yourself a week to love
her and to sort of get used to the idea.
But I think it's really hard once you make the
decision to wait. You know, it's a different kind of
grief when you're grieving them when they're still alive.
Speaker 1: I mean, that was the hardest part, and it probably
wasn't the best idea. But when we realized we have
to make this decision, Okay, well it probably needs to
be before Thanksgiving because it was going to be a
big hardship on her to go to be in the car,
right in the car, be at my brother's house all day.
And I was like, you know, yeah, so also just
every day was starting to feel really long for her,
you know, and not a good quality of life, as
I said. But then it was like, okay, we we'd
either have to make the decision like tomorrow or over
the weekend, or it was you know. Then Monday I
had this show, and then Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I
was teaching, So I was like, I'm not going to
put my dog to sleep and then try to teach
a class that night.
Speaker 2: So you planned it well.
Speaker 1: It was just but I didn't know how that was
going to feel. So I was just a hot mess,
constantly crying. And then Friday, you know, listen, I'm not
going to tell you details because it's very triggering, but
I will tell you that Sadie and Xander stayed home
from school. They insisted.
Speaker 3: I'm glad that they stayed because I think initially you
weren't going to have them.
Speaker 1: No, I was thinking of them as younger kids. I
was like, why do they need to have that. I've
never done it before, so I had no idea what
it was going to be like and if it would
be traumatizing. I knew that I had to be there
because she's my love and I wouldn't not be there.
We did it at home. We used a company. I'm
going to give them a shout out God forbid, but
you know, anyone needs to do this, and if you're
in LA. I used a company called gem Core and
this woman so anyway, Sadie and Xander wanted to be home,
and Xander especially was being really sensitive and he was
just like, what, I can't just go to school? Yeah,
and you know that's going to be too hard. So
I said, I was like, are you sure, because I
don't want you to have that like image in your head, right,
And he was like, I really want to stay home
from school. Yeah, So I said okay, And then Sadie,
who I did not think wanted to stay home, was like, well,
Xander's going to stay home. I want to be there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I got to tell you they were so strong,
both of them. The night before, Okay, I don't want
to have another show.
Speaker 2: Where I'm crying, oh honey.
Speaker 1: The night before we gave her like we ordered her
like a really nice dinner. Yeah. We got her food
from the habit and we got her a double jar
with bacon, and then we ordered her to order French
fries yea, and a vanilla shake. Her favorite part was
the vanilla shaks.
Speaker 2: Oh sweet girl, and.
Speaker 1: She I think she knew.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she enjoyed her food. She had a tough night though,
like with the anxiety and the like, and it was
almost like she was giving us a gift like I've done. Yeah,
this is not fun for me this life. And John
and I just like laid in bed and held hands
and were like, she knows and she's ready.
Speaker 1: Then the next morning, again I won't go into details,
but I will tell you this, the vet came in
the morning over to our house. We did it at home,
and Penelope didn't even lift her head off the bed.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: She was just like didn't care. Wow. And this woman
was so nice. Her name was doctor Gonzalez. I mean,
she was just like the most caring, understanding. She was like, anyway,
it happened, and then you know, it was awful. I
cried more. I've cried more in the past couple of
weeks than I have probably over the last ten years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, there's something there's something about losing a
pet that is so hard because the love that you
share with this animal, it's so unconditional and there's no
complicated feelings when it's your dog. The feelings are just
pure and absolute love. So it's a very pure and
strong grief. And having gone through this a few times, though,
I have to say there's something very very peaceful when
they finally go and cross over.
Speaker 2: It's very peaceful.
Speaker 3: And I think that the times that I've had to
do it, I've always afterwards said, Okay, yeah, it was
the right time. We did this the right way, because
I think when you feel their little bodies finally relaxed
when they've been holding so much tension and anxiety.
Speaker 2: But it's the fucking hardest thing.
Speaker 1: It's so hard. Yeah, I mean I thought it was
really hard when it happened. Then I took Sadie and
Xander to go get a bagel, and it had been
pouring rain all week, remember that it was pouring rain
Friday morning. And then I swear to God, we went
and to this place. It was like a couple of
blocks away. We got to get out of the car
look up at the sky. The sun was just shining.
It had stopped raining this period of time, beautiful sun
shining through with like sunbeams, and both me and both
of the kids looked up and we were like, oh
my god, it's Penelope. She's like happy now and she's
telling us she's okay. Yeah, yeah, but then the last
few days have been hard. Yeah. Yeah, it's because I
missed her so much.
Speaker 2: I know you do, but you have to just remind
yourself you gave her such a beautiful life. That dog
was so loved.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she was ready, but I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2: You weren't ready. We're never ready. And that's the thing
about like dogs, they just don't live long enough. Why
don't they, Tam, I don't know.
Speaker 3: And you know, Grayson just came home from school. He's
only been gone for a few months, but he saw
our dog, Yuki, and he.
Speaker 2: Goes, oh, my gosh, she's so old. She has so
much white hair on her face.
Speaker 1: How old is She's only seven? Oh, she's not old.
Speaker 2: She's not old. He really is, but she is sure.
Speaker 3: Bird's only three birds, Like Bird's gonna be a puppy forever.
Oh but but Yuki, Yeah, she does have a lot
of white on her face. And I've never had a
big dog before. I've only ever had little dogs. And
little dogs live to be a million, like they live
sixteen seven years, and so I know big dogs don't
live quite as long.
Speaker 2: So I'm already like stealing myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very shocking. Sometimes the decline happens kind of quickly. Yeah,
and you're like, wait, what, Yeah, she was just ten
like a minute ago, like, how is she fourteen? Like
that's that's fucked up. Yeah, I know, it's not fair.
It's not fair. We were looking at a picture of
Penelope from when we like shortly after we got her,
and she we have this picture where she's like looking
up at Xander sitting on the floor, and then we
have another picture where she's looking up at Xander the
same way, but from the bed like the day before. Yeah,
and her face is completely different. Like one picture she's brown.
Half her face is brown, h brown around her eye,
and the next picture her whole face is basically like white. Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is it is it too soon to think about
getting another dog?
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's too soon right this minute. But don't
think I haven't been trolling the yeah dog adoption sites.
Speaker 2: I have to tell you that my secret because we
have too.
Speaker 3: We have one who is like full blood Border Collie
and then our other one is an Australian Shepherd and
I got both of them as puppies from There's a
humane society in I think it's Riverside, maybe Apple Valley,
and there's a lot of dog breeders out there, and
so I think they end up somehow getting a lot
of these puppies. And so I call it the Designer
Dog Discount Warehouse because we were able to adopt both
of our dogs from there. And it's a kill shelter.
So Bird, who's this perfect, beautiful dog, was going to
be euthanized the day after I got her, Like I
completely I saw her on the internet and I can
depletely uprooted. I was like, can we get this dog please?
And I'm showing her picture to my husband and to Grayson,
and they were like, we don't need another dog, we
don't need another dog, and I'm like, but look at
this dog. This dog is a special dog. And they
were finally like, go get your dog. Really yeah, Paalo,
my husband finally went, it's fine, we like dogs.
Speaker 2: So Yuki and I went and got us a puppy.
Speaker 3: Ah, but yeah, I would encourage any of you if
you're looking so you were.
Speaker 1: Yuki with you. Yeah, they actually they would get along.
Speaker 3: They actually said I had to oh to make sure
that the dogs got along.
Speaker 2: And this is how crazy.
Speaker 3: So you know, we had had Yuki five years at
this point, but she was adopted from the same shelter
and when we got there, we weren't even out of
the car yet, and she was shaking like a leaf
because she remembered it and it was it was awful,
like they put us in a little room so that
the dogs could meet, and Yuki crawled under a chair
in the corner and was shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, And
then they brought Burden and Bird hadn't walked since.
Speaker 2: They She was so messed up. She was madded, she stunk,
she was sick.
Speaker 1: Even given her a bathroot.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think they must have because they shaved her like
she was all mad at so I don't know, but
she was stinky, she was.
Speaker 1: Sick, and they brought her do you like candl cough?
Speaker 3: No, she had like like a like gastro intestinal situation,
which we now know why because after we brought her home,
and I'm sorry this is going to be gross, but
I saw her poop and she was pooping like yarn
and string like. I think she had just been eating
stuff on the street to fill her stomach that wasn't
real food. And because even after we brought her home,
she was eating like like rugs and pillows.
Speaker 1: And stuff like that.
Speaker 2: I think you're like that's kind of what we thought too.
Speaker 3: I mean, eventually it evened out once she started eating
regular food and getting healthy. But anyway, when they brought
her in the room, like they were carrying her because
she wouldn't walk, and they put her on the ground.
Speaker 2: But then she saw Yuki and she started wagging her
little tail nub and it was the sweetest thing. So
they let us keep her. And she's a great dog's
they both are. They're both great dogs. They're so smart.
And like the fact that these kill shelters still exists,
it's so heartbreaking. There's so many great dogs that just
need a chance.
Speaker 1: When Penelope, Penelope had been in a shelter, not even
like a dog pound, basically in Porterville, and the one
the woman who rescued her, had gone there because there
had been a hoarding situation some woman. They took they
confiscated like eleven dogs. She was she was hoarding and
that we're starving. So this woman who ran the shelter
called Rescue from the Heart, had gone to Porterville and
got all like, took eleven dogs, but there were two dogs.
She said that we're not part of that situation, but
that she couldn't get out of her mind. One of
them was Penelope, who had been an owner's surrender and
had we think just lived outside and had just had puppies,
and oh she did. She'd had a litter. They couldn't
find the puppies anywhere, and the owners played dumb. Oh no,
so they never could find any of the puppies, but
they but she was like still lactating when we're in
and she'd been in the shelter and she totally shut
down and just like faced to the wall and wouldn't
like And then this woman, this saint Annie Annie Hart
was like she said, I couldn't get her out of
my mind. So like two days later she went back
and got her. And she was sick too, she had
like kennel cough. And then so she was in the
hospital for like these people that run rescues are saints. Yeah, yeah,
the money they spend on these dogs. I mean they
had to hospitalize Penelope. She was in the hospital for
like two weeks. Oh, poor baby, that's so expensive. It's
so expensive.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When we got Yuki, so she had been rescued by
like a border collie rescue from that riverside shelter. Huh,
And so that's how Grayson, for whatever reason, really wanted
a Border Collie. He met one once in Montana and
then decided that's the dog he wanted it. But I
was like, we're not gonna buy a dog from a breeder,
and so I looked up there's some like search engine.
Speaker 2: It's called like, h what is it called.
Speaker 3: It's like dog rescue dot org or something like that,
but you can put in the kind of dog you
want and it will show you like rescues have that
kind of dog, and it's this picture of this perfect
border Collie puffy puppy, like perfect, like a six week
old puppy. And I was like, there's no way, there
is no way that someone is gonna let me rescue
this dog.
Speaker 2: And they were like, yeah, she's available.
Speaker 1: Like I mean, was this local?
Speaker 2: It was in like Apple Valley Okay, yeah, And part
of I.
Speaker 3: Think what some of these rescues do, not all of them,
but they had gotten this puppy from the shelter. And
then they were like, you know, so the adoption fee
is eight hundred.
Speaker 2: Dollars, right, And it's like, well, that's that's.
Speaker 3: Steep considering she's a puppy and you haven't had to
do anything for her, but great if it helps other dogs.
But I was convinced because they were like, she's not
old enough yet, we need two weeks. I was convinced
I was being catfished because this dog looked too perfect.
So I kept asking them. I'm like, can you send me, like,
can you send me a picture of her holding up
today's date. I just kept asking for pictures of her,
and they they kept sending them.
Speaker 2: So we went and got her.
Speaker 3: And so ultimately did I buy a dog kind of,
but you know, she was ultimately a rescue and.
Speaker 2: At a great kid one time.
Speaker 1: And this was so many years ago because it was
before I got Penelope. I was like, looking on these
adoption sites. Somehow I'd found this dog, and I told
this story on the show, but it was, you know,
I guess it would have been like ten years ago
I had I'd found this dog. And there was something
really funky about the woman that I was dealing with.
I was texting with her and there was something really weird,
and I was being catfish because she was telling me
about this dog, this brindle. It was basically it was
a pit bull, but she was telling me it wasn't.
This is like hard to explain because because I don't
quite remember the story, except to say that somebody smart
that I was like something off about this. They did
a Google image reverse image search, and it was not
that she was claiming this picture. It was from a
like somebody's flicker account. Oh wow, got her like the
image that that dog. And so I did end up
writing to her and being like, hey, that's like, send
me another picture, send me a picture of the dog,
like now you know, I would love to see another
picture of the dog. And she was like, oh, I
can't write now, but I will later. And then I
got really mad, and my god, it was on this podcast.
I think I fake called her, like I called her
on the podcast to try to to try to like
I don't remember, but like that could freaking.
Speaker 2: Happen, Like, so, what's the end game?
Speaker 1: Like I was cam from me for the dog, right,
and and then not have the dog?
Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, I guess they do make you pay up front.
Speaker 1: I remember what she wanted me to do was pay upfront,
and then she was going to claiming that she was
going to just come drop the dog off.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's so disgusting. Yeah, it's so gross. Well, Andy Hayes,
So okay, Grayson's home, Grayson's home.
Speaker 1: How's Berkeley going?
Speaker 3: He loves it, you know, he's he's doing really well.
And I talked to him and I'm going to brag
about him for one second.
Speaker 1: Because sure its parent post.
Speaker 2: And he got a's on all of his midterms, and
I'm so proud of him. He worked his ass off.
Speaker 3: And I was saying to him, like, I have to
imagine that if you get into a school like Berkeley
and you show up there, there's got to be part
of your brain that is like, do I really belong here?
Did they make a mistake? Like there's got to be
some imposter syndrome? And I said, did acing your midterms
like make.
Speaker 2: You feel like you really do belong? And then he goes, well,
I mean some of my classes are really easy. And
I was like, just take it, just take the win.
And I don't believe you. Yeah, like I don't. I
also don't buy.
Speaker 3: That your classes are easy like his classes have Like
I don't even understand the names of his classes.
Speaker 1: That's so funny. Well, I remember you and I were
talking about the fact that art because our kids went
to the same school. That's how we met, but how
we were like, I don't know, is our school like
super easy?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I was convinced of that, but yeah, it
turns out it's not like either great.
Speaker 1: Inflation, Like do they just want everybody to do well?
But no, I think there's quite a few kids at
our kids' school that aren't doing well. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think you're right, and I think that I think
the true test was the AP tests, and both of
our kids did pretty well on those, So I was like, oh, okay,
maybe they are learning something. I mean, my kid went
to a school for two years that didn't teach math,
but I think they taught math one or two days
a week and everyone ended up in mathnasiums. So when
I first pitched the idea of our school to my husband,
he was like, no, no more fake schools, Like he's
going to a real school and that's it. And then
eventually I got my way and it worked out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really did. I'm so grateful for the school
our kids go to. There are some there's some quirks,
but honestly, like there's quirks at every school. Yeah, and
our school works with the kids. They have a person
who's a designated college advisor so you don't have to
pay for us outside college counselor. She does that. And
at Elbie's school, which was a traditional a lot of
our audience so going. You know, I've been doing this
podcast since and Xander were like two years old, right,
and a lot of our audience used to get mad
at me because the kids would not be doing well
at like Valley Charter where they were going to elementary school,
and I'd be like, they're having so much trouble finding
their people, and people that don't live like in LA
would be like, oh my god, send them to a
regular school, Send them to your neighborhood school so that
they will meet their people. And it just they were wrong.
It doesn't quite work that way. No, in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, listen, I think that it's very easy
to get caught up in also that game of like
I have to get my kids to the next best school.
But what I can tell you is that Grayson, before
he started at our school, went to Marshall High School
in Silver Lake and was so miserable. I would pick
him up after school every day. He'd just be sitting
on a curb like half a block down from the school,
not talking to anyone. He didn't have a single friend.
He would eat lunch in the library every day and
it was so fucking heartbreaking. And I pulled him out
of there, and I like, I, you know, I called
the school that the kids go.
Speaker 1: To and I was the middle school, right, No, it
was high school.
Speaker 2: He spent his first semester of high school at Marshaol.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So he didn't started our school until the end of
the fall semester freshman year. Oh, but like I called,
I pled my case. I don't think you can do
this with our school anymore. But oh that's good to know.
Speaker 1: My kids tell me there's new kids starting all the time.
Speaker 2: Oh really.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, luckily we were able to get him in and
it was kind of life changing, you know. He went
in and the kids just were so welcoming, like came up,
introduced themselves. He immediately like had a group of friends
and really good friends he made like like he's still
friends with the people he went to high school with.
And it was such a warm, nurturing environment. I feel
incredibly lucky that he got to go there. And yes,
are there quirks, Yes, is it like Are we privy
to way.
Speaker 2: Too much information that goes on behind the scenes?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Is that great?
Speaker 1: Probably not, But it's like a small town.
Speaker 2: It is like a small town and have you know
too much?
Speaker 1: You're like with But with Elbie, she did go that
traditional what everybody wanted, which and she wanted was this
big neighborhood high school. Yeah, which was fine. She had
a lot of her friends there. But I can tell
you she did not try a lot of stuff the
way my kids and your kid got involved. There's still
many opportunities when you're kind of a big fish in
a small pond, you can just try stuff. Yeah, and
always felt very intimidated. It's like if you're not in
I don't know, Knights and Ladies or all these kids
that join these very typical clubs, or you know, I
didn't want to be a cheerleader. It was also COVID,
so it was a little bit different. But you know,
alb says that she wouldn't trade, you know, her experience, right,
But my kids are very happy that they chose this route.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you know.
Speaker 3: Listen, when before Grayson went to high school, I really
wanted him to go to a big, traditional high school,
I wanted him to go to Friday night football games.
I wanted that experience for him, but that's not the
experience that he wanted, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean.
Speaker 3: So, like every school is not right for every kid.
For sure, our school is not right for every kid.
You know, there's no there's no sports, there's no pe.
But there's a lot of other things that are that
are great for the right kind of kid.
Speaker 1: Yes, for a lot of kinds of kids though, because
just as long as they don't want well, small schools
are a certain fit. But like Sadie and Xander super different,
that's true. Both are getting what they need out of
there school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3: I mean I think that there are kids that thrive
in a smaller environment, and that was one of the
things when Grayson was trying to pick a college, he
wanted to go to a smaller college because of his
experience with our school, and ultimately that didn't end up happening.
Speaker 2: He's going to a huge college.
Speaker 3: But I think that our school sort of taught him
that he'll find his people, Like he kind of knows
who his people are and he knows he'll find them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just glad that he's in school like in California. Yeah,
it's not so far. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel so lucky about that. And I think kind of,
you know, he applied to so many schools. He applied
to like twenty schools, and that was completely on my
anxiety driven recommendation. But then like kind of early on
in the acceptance process, he's like, I don't want to
go to the East Coast for school. I was like, okay, great,
and so that kind of narrowed it down, and we
thought he was going to go to school in.
Speaker 2: Oregon, but like, no, he's here. He's six hours away.
It's amazing.
Speaker 1: I mean I remember, like yesterday you said to me,
I just want him to read. You wanted he was
deciding between Lewis and Clark and Reid, and you were like,
I'm having so much anxiety about this. I just want
him to commit to read. And I was like, but
hold on in a minute. Yeah, because Berkeley decisions hadn't
come out. I think some of the couple of the UC's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he got into like a handful of UC's and
but he was still like he really liked read, and
I was like, just commit to read. Like I wanted
the anxiety to be done and Reads a great school
and it's small, and he loved it, but he just
kept going, I'm just gonna wait, I'm just gonna wait.
And I think he wanted to wait to hear about Berkeley.
But then that motherfucker like wouldn't decide between the two schools.
Remember he made me wait for weeks and like secretly
I had bought like a vintage Berkeley sweatshirt for him,
And then finally when he decided, I was like yay,
and like trotted the sweatshirt out and.
Speaker 1: We were somewhere remember where when we were where were
we that there were two people and one had a
kid at Berkeley and one had had a kid at Reid.
And you were like, oh my god, this is so great,
Like I can ask both these people remember that? And
you were like, what are the chances there'd be somebody
who don't. Maybe one of them went to read and
one of them's had or something.
Speaker 3: Oh maybe it was like a parent. Yeah I think that,
you're Oh, no, I know what it was. It was
a woman that had start did it read and then
transferred to Berkeley.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: So but they were like a big cal family. They
were like Berkeley all the way right, But ultimately he
made his decision, but he really made me wait till
the last minute.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm so grateful that I'm not having to deal
with this with Sadie because she was just like, I'll
either go to Seasun or I'll go to Peers. And
she got accepted at season.
Speaker 2: Oh she did, yeh oh yeah, congratulations.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And you know who else got accepted at season?
Oh my god. I wanted to say this before the
end of the show, and we're going to end this
show in a few minutes.
Speaker 4: But.
Speaker 1: I call Xander's friend who you know, who's the my
friend who was previously unhoused. Oh yes, yes, I call
him Lyle Lyle Crocodile. Okay, okay, We've always called him that, huh.
And I've always raised money for that family at the
end of the year, I give her a gift always
at the time that they do their music show at
our school. So I wanted to say that, you guys,
but guess what, Liela Crocodile got into Seasun. It's like
a big deal. That's a huge to know this kid
since he was in middle school and we've seen him
absolutely flourish and that family and Lilah Crocodile's younger sister
goes to the school and is so happy. And you know,
she was at a different at a like traditional middle school, right,
and she didn't really have any friends that she ever
saw outside of school. And you know, she's just these
kids went through a lot, a lot, and she was
a little shut down. But her mom told me that
she she had friends like at school that she talked
to and ate lunch with, but she'd never hung out
with them, like outside of school. And now that she's
at our kids' school, the mom was telling me. Anna
was telling me like that it's the most amazing thing.
She already has friends that she sees like she has
like a good friend already that she's like gone to
the movies with and like hung out at their house
that she's like was just beaming about it. Oh, I
love her at Halloween. But yeah, I want to do
another little raise some money for her because you know
that mom works so hard. She works at a she
works as a CPN. I want to see is that
what it's called.
Speaker 2: We're going to certified certified nurse's assistant.
Speaker 1: But she works at a nursing home base. Okay, and
she makes minimum wage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's unbelievable to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I usually do a little not a go fundme,
but I just tell people to send me money and
I give her some cash. That's amazing, and I want
to do that again this year. But yeah, So on
Friday's episode, I was thinking for Patreon, if you we
could come up with a gossipy show business story that
from your past, or we could talk about like Thanksgiving,
which I think we should talk about that because we
both have like a complicated relationship with family and Thanksgiving.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: But for Friday, let's I want to hear it's been
a while since you were on, so I want to
hear some of your past like acting stories and okay, okay, okay,
all right, so before we go, I want to thank
our Patreon subscribers like Dick Frolicker and Nikki Collier and
Elizabeth Williamson and Rita Bassiet and Holly Butterfield sorry I
couldn't see for a minute, and Valerie Bba Fenwick and
Katerina Muller and Gabrie Gabrielle Gabby and Missy those two
Scamps and Ishan vaje Pe and Rebecca Lubin, Kelly Brian,
Alicia Esca a Lante from the City of al Monte
and Leslie still coughing and Aaron is A Dirty Sanchez,
Jennifer Fall, Sandra Green, Stephanie Stinker Rinker Christa Stroop. Also,
I want to thank all of you guys for just
feeling emotional again for a second. For all you guys
all sent me so many messages and left me so
many beautiful comments about Penelope. I know that even just
hearing the stories meant a lot to you guys too,
And I just really appreciate I just appreciate our listeners.
It's just Thanksgiving Appreciation Week. Yeah, and our business shout
outs we got. Katie Coleman has the Elf on the
Shelf kits for Christmas. Every kit comes with twenty four
days of ELF setups, props, even customizable letters. You can
find it on Etsy by searching Little Merry Moments.
Speaker 2: Such a good idea, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, Elf on the Shelf is the most painful
fucking part of Christmas when your kids are younger, So
why not do something cool like that? Courtney Moore has
Ie embroidery. It's on Facebook, so go to Facebook just
put in the search ie embroidery and they do really
cool stuff. They did some merch for Xander's band. It
was so cute. And then Kaylee Pettis is a marriage
and family therapist. She's out of Seattle, but she can
see clients virtually all across Washington State and she specializes
in helping high achieving women feel confident and well who
feel confident in every area of their life except their
love lives. She's really good at that. So go to
Emeraldbloomtherapy dot com. And my friend has a medium account
where she tells these incredible stories about living with this
fucking asshole of an ex husband who's in the military,
and it's called Unbecoming Stories. She's a great writer. Check
that out. Family Skeptical is a podcast about raising kids
without religion, so you don't have to raise your kids
with a bunch of dogma. Just listen to Families Skeptical.
Also Willmanfrida if you're out in the Palm Springs or
Palm Desert area, best brunch in town. They make amazing salmon.
Ever been to Womanfrida, No, I have not I will
it's really good. Basic Becky makes the T shirts and
the mousepads and the mugs. I have so many things
of her stuff. I love her. She always does a
great job and ship's really fast. So check out just
Basicbecky dot com. Sugar Skull is a small bakery and
gift shop on the island of Kawhi. They do wedding cakes,
they do all kinds of stuff. Follow their Instagram page
at sugar Skull eight o eight. Also, if you want
to get to Hawaii but you need a travel agent,
why not use Christine Black with Waves and Wonder Travel. Yeah,
she's a travel planner. Check them out. My friend Jacob God,
I love this man. He's so awesome and he just
gives shout out money for the ACLU.
Speaker 2: Love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and God we need them. Yeah, I'm on that wall.
And then last shout out for our friend Heather Hoyt.
The Holder Wide Foundation, which was created in honor of
the boys who were killed in the Borderline shooting. Of
two boys that were killed, and they do a huge
event every November around the anniversary of the shooting and
they raise money and they pick a recipient every year
and they help them retro fit their homes, get a
fancy wheelchairs and get medical care. So to donate, go
to Holderwide dot org. And then our friend Kelsey Ferncandle
great business, delicious smelling candles, make awesome gifts for the
holidays Fncandle dot com. And then every episode Adam Lerner
Adam's Got a Car dot com. Let him help you
buy a car, like I got my ID four from him,
So my friends use him to get their cars. And yeah, anyway,
thank you Tamra, thank you to Etsy, and go to
Gray by Tamramellow for her stuff. Great gift ideas, thank you,
awesome holiday gifts, hanukkah whatever you want. You gotta just
go peruse her stuff and she'll be back on the
next episode to talk like more fun topics. Yeah, I
see you. Then all right, you're a parent now, don't
fuck it up.
Speaker 2: Let angle