1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,799
Speaker 1: The front door to my apartment stuck like doorways. I

2
00:00:05,799 --> 00:00:09,119
should have sanded the frame down months ago. I should

3
00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,679
have done a lot of things. The hallway light flickered

4
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,599
and fizzled into nothing as I stepped over a pile

5
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:20,320
of unopened mail and made my way to the fridge. Inside,

6
00:00:20,839 --> 00:00:24,199
the air smelled like old mustard and aluminium, and it

7
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,440
lingered in the air too long, even when closed. I

8
00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:31,480
pulled out the last microwave meal and peeled back the

9
00:00:31,519 --> 00:00:35,039
corner of the film. Then watched as the trace stuttered

10
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:37,880
left or right on top of the cracked turntable of

11
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,920
my microwave, making it hot around the corners and frozen

12
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,719
on the inside. I passed the kitchen table on my

13
00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:48,640
way to the bedroom and dropped my keys like usual.

14
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,640
The metal clinked against something soft, and the whole tablecloth

15
00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:59,359
shifted sideways. I paused and looked down, noticing a round

16
00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:03,679
lump beneath a fabric. I thought maybe here was something

17
00:01:03,679 --> 00:01:06,799
my eggs had left behind, maybe a button or a

18
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,680
marble that had rolled under and been forgotten. So I

19
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:18,079
pulled the mat up. The second I saw it, I

20
00:01:18,159 --> 00:01:22,319
recoiled my heel, caught the chair leg and I nearly

21
00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:26,079
fell backwards. My heart almost skipped a beat as I

22
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,519
stood in shock, gripping the table's edge or trying to

23
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:34,120
make sense of the sight in front of me. There

24
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:41,280
was a fully formed human eye, wet detailed and embedded

25
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,280
in the wood. The skin around it was faint and translucent,

26
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,920
barely raised, but enough to show it wasn't drawn or carved.

27
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:56,599
It also seemed to blink. I stared at it, expecting

28
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,400
it to vanish, to prove itself as some trick of

29
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:05,920
the light or exhaustion. But it didn't. The thing stayed there,

30
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:11,159
staring straight up at me, the pupil shifting slightly, as

31
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,400
if adjusting to the angle of my shadow. I kept

32
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:19,479
telling myself there had to be an explanation. Maybe it

33
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,439
was a fungus, some kind of growth that reacted to

34
00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:25,840
heat or light. Maybe moisture in the wood was making

35
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:29,560
it warp, and my mind filled in the rest That

36
00:02:29,719 --> 00:02:35,199
was possible, wasn't it. I squinted and leaned a little.

37
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,039
It had a light blue iris that shot through with

38
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,879
broken red veins. There was a little milky film along

39
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:47,280
the edges. My scalp brickled, but I forced myself to

40
00:02:47,319 --> 00:02:52,319
breathe steadily. I pressed the tablecloth down again, flattening it

41
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:56,639
over the thing, hoping he would disappear. But when the

42
00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:01,680
lump remained, I couldn't help mess with it. I grabbed

43
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,479
a spoon from the drawer and tried prying the eye,

44
00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:08,879
but it didn't work. I couldn't get it wedged, and

45
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,759
any effort to damage whatever had taken the shape of

46
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:16,719
an eye proved pointless, so I just gave up. At

47
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,680
least I could say I tried getting rid of it

48
00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:22,240
on my own. I placed the cloth back over it

49
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:28,360
and tried forgetting I'd call someone, not now, but maybe

50
00:03:28,439 --> 00:03:31,439
later in the week. I didn't have the cash to

51
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:35,919
throw around on some specialist, and it didn't look dangerous.

52
00:03:36,439 --> 00:03:39,680
I hadn't been hallucinating at work or anything. I'd been

53
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:44,639
eating fine, sleeping enough, more or less. Whatever it was,

54
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:52,240
it wasn't hurting me. I woke up later than I

55
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,159
should have, and as I shuffled to the bathroom to

56
00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:59,960
brush my teeth, I remembered the lump, so I snuck

57
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:04,840
glance at the table again. The tablecloth had another bulge

58
00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:08,960
under it. Now, two raised shapes pressed through the cloth,

59
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:14,240
side by side, distorting the fabric. I already had a

60
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,199
feeling as to what would be there, but I forced

61
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:22,240
myself to keep moving. I wiped my mouth, stepped back

62
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:25,959
into the bedroom and got dressed. I poured a half

63
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,480
cup of bit of coffee from the cold pot and

64
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,240
locked the door behind me without glancing at the table.

65
00:04:32,319 --> 00:04:37,560
I didn't need any additional stress. I'd get rid of it. Eventually.

66
00:04:40,439 --> 00:04:44,079
Things were worse at work. Someone had watched the inventory

67
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,959
numbers in the overnight batch, which meant none of the

68
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,920
reports matched the previous week. I couldn't fix it without

69
00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:55,319
re entering everything by hand. Plus the office was full

70
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,879
of complaints before I even got my head set on,

71
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,839
I kept getting yelled, and it didn't help that I

72
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:05,959
couldn't forget about the kitchen table. I tried not to.

73
00:05:06,759 --> 00:05:09,600
I knew how much a full mold treatment would cost.

74
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,560
They'd have to come in, tear part of the surface out,

75
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:17,160
spray the place down, and maybe even inspect the dry wall.

76
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,319
The table was cheap, but not something I could replace

77
00:05:21,439 --> 00:05:24,560
right now, and I really didn't want to throw it away.

78
00:05:26,079 --> 00:05:29,319
I didn't have time for this. I needed that table

79
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,360
to not be turning into some weird, freaking biology exhibit

80
00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:38,199
in my kitchen. When I eventually returned, the air in

81
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,639
my apartment felt heavier, and the window had fogged up again.

82
00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:44,680
I headed toward the kitchen to pour a glass of

83
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,279
water while I'd try my best not to look at

84
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:52,439
the table, but my curiosity got the best of me,

85
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,120
and I caught sight of the tablecloth in the corner

86
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,839
of my eye. It was raised more than it was

87
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:04,600
that morning. The entire surface was covered in bulges, maybe

88
00:06:04,639 --> 00:06:11,600
a dozen or so, so I peeled it back. A

89
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:16,040
collection of eyes stared back at me. Some were wide

90
00:06:16,079 --> 00:06:21,079
and alert, others moved slowly, blinking with effort. There were

91
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:25,920
brown ones and hazel, and some flat gray, others nearly violet.

92
00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,680
A few were bright red around the edges, veined and swollen.

93
00:06:31,639 --> 00:06:37,000
One had long lashes. Another was clouded with a pale film.

94
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,959
It was spreading like some form of molder fungus. So

95
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,079
I opened my laptop and typed out mold Inspection near me.

96
00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:50,360
The top result looked professional. There was a chat box open,

97
00:06:50,399 --> 00:06:55,160
already offering a quote. I clicked out of it. The

98
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,759
price was more than I had to spare. My next

99
00:06:58,759 --> 00:07:02,879
paycheck wouldn't come through for another five days, so I

100
00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:06,720
closed the tab. I went to bed without brushing my teeth.

101
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:13,040
Sleep didn't come easy. My body kept twitching like it

102
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,759
wanted to stay awake. I flipped the pillow twice and

103
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,199
tried lying in my stomach. The sheets were damp with

104
00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:25,199
old sweat. At some point I must have passed out

105
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:31,480
in the morning. When I stretched, I felt it immediately.

106
00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:38,360
My back wasn't pressing against fabric, it was uneven and

107
00:07:38,439 --> 00:07:44,079
damp in places. The weight across my ribs shifted. Something

108
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,319
was underneath me. I closed my eyes and tried to

109
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:54,879
breathe slowly, making the sensation disappear weirdly enough. When I

110
00:07:54,920 --> 00:08:00,800
opened them, however, it returned. I sat up and threw

111
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:07,800
the blanket off. The mattress was covered in eyes. They

112
00:08:07,839 --> 00:08:11,120
stretched from the headboard to the foot. Some tugged near

113
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:16,160
the corners, others exposed across the surface. I could see

114
00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:19,480
the indents where I had slept across them. Some had

115
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,240
left wet trails. Others blinked up at me lazily. The

116
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,759
lids crusted with yellow discharge. One followed my movement. As

117
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:34,159
I stepped back. I gagged, but nothing came up. I

118
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:39,080
looked around the room. Nothing else had changed, The walls

119
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:43,200
were clean, the floor was fine. I stared back down

120
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:49,519
at the bed. It was getting out of control. Was

121
00:08:49,519 --> 00:08:53,360
this even of fungus? What was I looking at? It

122
00:08:53,519 --> 00:08:57,639
just didn't make sense. I walked to the kitchen and

123
00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,919
picked up the phone. My fingers slip on the screen once,

124
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,360
but I managed to book a late night slot with

125
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,919
a mold removal specialist. The court that gave me made

126
00:09:06,919 --> 00:09:11,679
my stomach twist, but I didn't argue. I gave my

127
00:09:11,799 --> 00:09:16,039
dress and said i'd be home after seven. I got

128
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:21,759
dressed in silence. Work meant nothing that day. I sat

129
00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:24,279
in my chair, stared at the numbers on the screen

130
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:31,279
and answered one call, maybe two. The rest blurred every

131
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,679
few minutes. I thought I saw something twitch in the

132
00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:38,759
corner of the monitor. I ended up leaving two hours

133
00:09:38,799 --> 00:09:43,360
early without permission. I needed to be there when the

134
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:49,720
exterminator arrived. The sun had dropped below the buildings when

135
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,480
the exterminator and I met, I pulled up outside and

136
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:58,000
he stood there, already looking worn out. The guy logged

137
00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:01,320
mid forties with a thick coat. He slipped halfway and

138
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:05,080
a clipboard tugged under one arm. His spray tnchor dried

139
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,200
streaks down the side. He nodded, asked if I was

140
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:14,639
the guy, and I led the way. Then I saw

141
00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:20,320
the apartment. I paused in the doorway. The eyes had

142
00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:26,159
taken over everything. They covered the back splash, behind the sink,

143
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:30,000
nested in the gaps between countertiles, and split from half

144
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,840
open drawers. The coffee maker had one in the reservoir,

145
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,440
partially submerged. A few had stuck to the inside of

146
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:42,480
the fridge door. One blinked slowly and quietly between a

147
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:47,360
ketchup bottle and a box of baking soda. The worst

148
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:53,039
were the clusters. They started forming, small bunches, growing in

149
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:57,639
tight patches. One whole corner of the ceiling looked swollen

150
00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:02,600
with them, blinking at on interval. Some had red rimmed lids,

151
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:08,120
others were cracked through the iris. I didn't say anything.

152
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:13,559
I didn't have words for it anymore. Everything all right, sir,

153
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:20,120
the exterminator asked. Finally, I turned toward him. I stared

154
00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:27,919
too long before answering, you don't see all this. He

155
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:32,639
looked around again, slower this time. His eyes passed over

156
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,799
the sink, the walls, and the table. I watched for

157
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:44,240
a change in his expression. There was none. See what exactly,

158
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:49,360
he asked. He said it carefully and politely, try not

159
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,519
to set anything off. I looked back at the room.

160
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,799
One of the eyes in the cabinet had started to leak.

161
00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:01,120
The liquid was thick, pale yellow, and it ran down

162
00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:04,440
the handle toward the floor. I wiped my palms on

163
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:11,440
my pants. Do your thing, I guess, I said. He nodded,

164
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:15,200
adjusted the pressure valve on his tank and started spraying.

165
00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:19,960
When the spray hid the eyes, I waited for a reaction,

166
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:25,159
but the eyes didn't seem to react to it stood

167
00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:28,759
clearer by morning, he said. Once he finished the perimeter,

168
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:31,759
you'll want to keep the windows open if you can

169
00:12:32,279 --> 00:12:37,279
air it out overnight. He handed me a receipt. I

170
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:41,399
tapped through the pavement screen on his phone. He walked away,

171
00:12:41,799 --> 00:12:47,879
and the door clicked softly behind him. I stood there

172
00:12:47,879 --> 00:12:51,519
for a few seconds, then turned and walked straight to

173
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:57,519
the bedroom. Surely they'd be gone soon, Just like he said,

174
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:02,519
The bed was still as of pupils and lashes. I

175
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,200
pulled a thick quilt from the closet, threw it over

176
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,600
the mattress, and added an old comforter. I pushed down

177
00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:14,159
hard across the fabric. I couldn't see them anymore, but

178
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,799
I knew they were there. I lay down on top

179
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:22,399
of the layers. I could still feel them, but when

180
00:13:22,399 --> 00:13:28,440
I closed my eyes, the pressure vanished. The twitching beneath

181
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:33,120
my back disappeared. When I opened my eyes again, the

182
00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:37,039
pressure came back, a slow return of weight along my spine,

183
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,600
tinting under my shoulder blades. I sat up fast and

184
00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:46,200
looked down. The eyes had pushed through the padding, stretching

185
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:51,360
the quilt fabric. They blinked at me through the threads,

186
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:57,399
and then an idea popped into my head. I closed

187
00:13:57,399 --> 00:14:01,080
my eyes and immediately felt the pressure and beneath me disappear.

188
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:07,000
When I opened my eyes again, the eyes reappeared. I

189
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,840
didn't know what to do with that. Sure, I couldn't

190
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:11,840
feel or see them when I closed my eyes, but

191
00:14:12,879 --> 00:14:16,960
it didn't change much. But at least I could sleep

192
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:26,279
mostly undisturbed. That was something. When I woke up, the

193
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:31,360
entire apartment was buried in them. There wasn't a single

194
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:36,039
surface left untouched. The ceiling was dense with them. Some

195
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:40,559
fused together lids tangled into swollen fold that blinked out

196
00:14:40,559 --> 00:14:44,200
A sink the wall set eyes where the painted cracked

197
00:14:44,279 --> 00:14:49,240
years ago. Some nested along the doorframe. I stepped off

198
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:53,679
the bed and into a field of them. I tried

199
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,720
walking slowly, but it didn't help. I closed my eyes

200
00:14:57,759 --> 00:15:01,639
and tried to navigate through my apartment blind. I managed

201
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:05,080
to pull it off and got outside, though on the

202
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:11,320
outside things weren't better. The sidewalk had begun to change.

203
00:15:11,919 --> 00:15:15,279
They were tugged between the cracks and the concrete. One

204
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,480
blinked from the inside of a broken soda can. A

205
00:15:18,559 --> 00:15:22,600
few were staring from the storm drain. I walked fast

206
00:15:22,639 --> 00:15:26,679
to my car. When I got to work, I went

207
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:32,200
straight to my desk. The monitor was already on. There

208
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:36,039
was an eye on the screen itself, faint behind the glare.

209
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,720
I sat down and tried to open the coal dashboard.

210
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:45,960
I didn't get far, so one tapped my shoulder. Who

211
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:52,039
was the assistant manager you wanted in the back? I

212
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:56,960
followed them down the hallway. He was sitting at his desk,

213
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:01,360
hands folded, face still. He used to be clean cut.

214
00:16:02,279 --> 00:16:06,639
Now he looked swollen. He'd always had a ruddy complexion,

215
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,519
but his cheeks were rippling under the skin. Something was

216
00:16:12,559 --> 00:16:18,399
pushing forward the folds of his neck moved. He stood

217
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,399
up and walked toward me. His chest shifted under the shirt.

218
00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:28,759
Pockets of skin bulged, then opened. Eyes blinked from his sternum.

219
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,080
I could see them from the fabric of the shirt.

220
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:37,080
Two more peeled from under his collar. His gums had

221
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:42,360
them too. Each time he moved his jaw, pale fluids

222
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,919
slipped from the corners of his lips. He ran down,

223
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:50,519
his chin caught in his tie. He opened his mouth.

224
00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:58,320
It was filled with eyes that leaked puss. He said something,

225
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:02,480
though I couldn't hear it. I was too distracted by

226
00:17:02,519 --> 00:17:07,440
the abomination he had become. He said it again, louder,

227
00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:12,079
Are you even listening? What the hell's wrong with you? Lately?

228
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:22,000
I blinked hard. I ah huh. He stared for a second,

229
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:33,480
then his voice dropped. Get out. I didn't argue. I

230
00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:36,200
got to the parking lot and stopped beside the car.

231
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:41,400
The eyes had gotten inside. The seat was lined with them,

232
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:45,720
The steering wheel had them wrapped through the leather. One

233
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,000
looked out from the base of the air vent. The

234
00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:53,880
rearview mirror was covered the lenses facing inward. I couldn't drive,

235
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,920
even if I wanted to. I turned around and walked.

236
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,359
The neighborhood looked bent out of shape. I stop sighing,

237
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,839
had a ring of eyes running around its rim. The

238
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,839
bus stop had them in the glass. A kid near

239
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,799
the corner bent down and pulled something from the grass.

240
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,200
She held it up to show a mother. It looked

241
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:22,240
like a white daisy at first, until it blinked. A

242
00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:25,880
blue iris sat in the middle of the petals, unblinking

243
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:30,759
in a palm. I didn't stop. I didn't slow down.

244
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,839
When I got home, I had to shouldered the door open.

245
00:18:35,599 --> 00:18:40,839
It resisted for a moment, then gave. I stepped inside carefully.

246
00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:46,200
There were more, now thicker clusters. The table had sprouted,

247
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,880
an entire patch of them. Eyelids tangled into another, shifting

248
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,680
in a wave across the surface. I reached my chair

249
00:18:54,880 --> 00:19:00,319
and sat down. It was covered too. They pressed into

250
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:04,519
my legs, my back, the base, and my spine. I

251
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:14,079
didn't care. I closed my eyes and they disappeared. I

252
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,480
kept my eyes shut for a long time. I breathed

253
00:19:17,519 --> 00:19:20,160
in through my nose and waited for the tension to

254
00:19:20,319 --> 00:19:25,079
ease out of my shoulders. I knew what I had

255
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:29,799
to do. I known for a while. I could make

256
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:35,960
them disappear. I stood up. My knees cracked under the

257
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,079
weight of it all. I walked to the kitchen and

258
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:43,039
opened the drawer under the cutlery. I had to dig

259
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,279
under old spatchelors and dull knives to find what I needed.

260
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:52,519
A spoon. It had dried sauce on the edge, but

261
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,200
the shape was right. I placed it on the counter

262
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,480
next straw. I found the scissors at the back, past

263
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:04,599
the ball of twine and a melted flashlight. The blades

264
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:09,839
were half rusted, but the open clean enough. I stared

265
00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:13,079
at both for a moment. The metal felt cold against

266
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:19,880
my skin. Then I walked to the bathroom. I sat

267
00:20:20,039 --> 00:20:24,119
on the countless eyes covering my bathroom floor. I held

268
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:28,160
the phone in my hand and dialed emergency. My thumb

269
00:20:28,279 --> 00:20:32,160
hovered over the coal button for a second before pressing down.

270
00:20:34,319 --> 00:20:38,839
I'm hurt, I said. When the despatcher picked up severe bleeding.

271
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,599
I'm on the floor. I don't think I'll stay conscious

272
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:47,599
for long. They asked questions, I gave my dress. I

273
00:20:47,799 --> 00:20:52,160
ended the call before they could say anything else. I

274
00:20:52,279 --> 00:20:55,279
leaned back against the tub and took the spoon in

275
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:01,039
one hand. The scissors lay across my lap. I blinked once,

276
00:21:01,759 --> 00:21:09,160
slow and heavy, then raised the spoon. I pressed it

277
00:21:09,319 --> 00:21:13,079
into the bone, just beneath my eye. The precious and

278
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,680
sparks at my spine. I slipped the rim upward, forcing

279
00:21:17,759 --> 00:21:22,880
it behind the socket. It didn't slide clean. My hands

280
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,880
were shaking. The first movement galloped into the flesh above

281
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:31,559
the lid. The skin tore away. Warm blood streaked down

282
00:21:31,599 --> 00:21:37,359
my face. The pain didn't make me stop. I dug deeper.

283
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:43,079
The handle braced against my chaw. I grunted, screamed. My

284
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:48,039
shoulder locked. The eye fought back, wobbling in place, pushing outward.

285
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:53,599
I screamed again and pulled harder. There was a wet pop,

286
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,799
and the eyeball dislodged, but stayed connected by something deep

287
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:02,680
and sinewy. I could still see through it. It dangled

288
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:07,680
against my cheek. I grabbed the scissors. My fingers slipped.

289
00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:12,880
The first got missed. I clicked the skin. The second

290
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:17,359
one called the optic cord halfway. I pressed the blades together.

291
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,400
The sniper wasn't clean. It felt like trying to chew rubber.

292
00:22:24,039 --> 00:22:27,599
When the connection severed, everything went dark on one side

293
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,480
as a wet mass hit the floor. I panted hard,

294
00:22:32,839 --> 00:22:37,839
bracing for the second. The other eye took longer. I

295
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,640
slipped twice. My vision kept blurring. The metal tore through

296
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,279
the socket wall, and I ripped the lid off without

297
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:50,160
meaning to. The bulb pushed forward on its own. I

298
00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:54,279
stabbed deep. Something in my head cracked and my nose

299
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:59,160
started bleeding. The eye split as I pulled. When it

300
00:22:59,279 --> 00:23:03,960
was out, I held the pieces in my lap. Everything

301
00:23:05,799 --> 00:23:11,920
was black. I slumped forward, My arms slid out under me.

302
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:17,359
The spoon clattered away somewhere behind the toilet. I could

303
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:21,640
hear sirens. The blood soaked into my sleeves and pulled

304
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:25,880
beneath my jaw. But at least I couldn't feel or

305
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:33,920
see those eyes any more. When I woke up, the

306
00:23:34,039 --> 00:23:38,279
world was quiet. My face was wrapped in gauze. My

307
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,599
body was stiff, but the pain had dulled into a

308
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:47,079
deep throb. I could breathe clearly again. I knew I

309
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,319
was in a hospital bed. I could hear the faint

310
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,279
beep of a monitor and the low hum of machines.

311
00:23:54,759 --> 00:24:00,240
The door opened and somebody stepped in. You made it through,

312
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,880
she said, You lost a lot of blood. You're stable now,

313
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:11,720
but you won't be seeing again. I didn't say anything.

314
00:24:13,039 --> 00:24:17,559
She walked closer and adjusted the monitor. They couldn't save

315
00:24:17,599 --> 00:24:21,759
the eyelids either, They were torn past repair. It means

316
00:24:21,839 --> 00:24:25,000
blinking won't be possible, so you'll just need to get

317
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:31,920
adjusted to everything. Still, I didn't speak. I listened to

318
00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:35,720
the shuffling of her shoes against the floor. I imagine

319
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,000
the light above my bed flickering, the way hospital lights

320
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:43,880
always do. She walked out, closing the door behind her.

321
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:53,559
I lay still. At first, I felt peace. Then the

322
00:24:53,680 --> 00:25:00,319
mattress shifted. It was slow, barely there arise under my back.

323
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,880
I didn't have to see them to know they were here.

324
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,480
I held still, my throat tightened. I could feel the

325
00:25:11,559 --> 00:25:17,240
shapes beneath me moving, swelling upward, slow and certain. I

326
00:25:17,279 --> 00:25:22,279
could feel their gaze through the layers, but I couldn't see.

327
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,359
That had been the rule, That had always been the rule.

328
00:25:27,799 --> 00:25:32,039
So why were they back? Was it ever about sight?

329
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:46,680
Or was it about closing my eyes? When I was

330
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,200
sixteen when it happened, I didn't talk about it for

331
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:55,079
a long time, But sometimes when I can't sleep, I

332
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:59,279
still go over that night in my head. I'm older now,

333
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,119
I've moved out and got my own place and job,

334
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,759
but a part of me is still anchored to that house.

335
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:13,000
There was something about it that never made sense. We

336
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:17,039
grew up in a bad area. I'm talking burglaries, gang

337
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:21,240
signs sprayed over garage doors, cops cruising past our streets

338
00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:23,720
slow enough to make it feel like they were waiting

339
00:26:23,799 --> 00:26:27,480
for something to happen. I saw someone get dragged out

340
00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,160
of their car in front of our house. When I

341
00:26:29,279 --> 00:26:33,160
was thirteen. We heard gunshots a few blocks over so

342
00:26:33,319 --> 00:26:37,279
often we stopped checking the news the next morning. People

343
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:43,000
broke into homes for TVs, tools, even food. It happened

344
00:26:43,079 --> 00:26:51,039
all the time, but it never happened to us. That

345
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,400
was something I could never explain. We weren't special. We

346
00:26:55,519 --> 00:26:58,519
didn't have a dog or bars on the windows. We

347
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,599
didn't even have a working secure curity system. Sometimes I'd

348
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,799
come home and find the screen door unlatched or a

349
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,640
window that looked tampered with, but nothing ever came of it.

350
00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:12,799
My mom would brush it off and tell me not

351
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:17,599
to worry. I tried not too, but he'd always stuck

352
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:22,119
with me. On the other hand, my old man was

353
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,400
gone before I even turned six. I used to ask

354
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:29,279
about him sometimes. My mom never had much to give.

355
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:34,160
She said he worked in a specialized field. Whatever that meant,

356
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,319
I figured it was a nice way of saying he

357
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,799
was mixed up in something illegal. Maybe ran off to

358
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,640
keep us safe or save his own skin. I never

359
00:27:44,759 --> 00:27:50,920
bought the noble sacrifice angle he left us behind. My

360
00:27:51,039 --> 00:27:54,160
mom worked her ass off to keep things afloat. I

361
00:27:54,279 --> 00:27:57,039
watched her come home with her feet so swollen she

362
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,799
had to sit on the bottom step to untie her shoes.

363
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,200
She'd run her hand through my hair and go check

364
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,279
on my little brother before she even made herself a plate.

365
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:12,559
She was always tired, but never stopped trying. I couldn't

366
00:28:12,599 --> 00:28:17,119
imagine walking out on that. I started stepping in when

367
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,839
I got old enough to see how much she carried

368
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:23,279
on her back. I didn't want my brother growing up

369
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,519
with a kind of resentment that built up in me.

370
00:28:26,799 --> 00:28:30,240
I figured if I could keep his world calm, maybe

371
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:35,079
he wouldn't need to carry a grudge. His name was Michael,

372
00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:39,359
same as our father. I remember fighting her on it

373
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,799
when I first heard. I was only eight, but I

374
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,839
remember sitting on the side of a hospital bed saying

375
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,000
it made my skin crawl. I didn't want to come

376
00:28:49,079 --> 00:28:52,480
home and say that name again every day. I didn't

377
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,200
want to picture that man every time my brother laughed

378
00:28:55,519 --> 00:29:01,200
or cried or needed help tying his shoes. But she

379
00:29:01,279 --> 00:29:07,759
wouldn't budge. I called him Mikey still do wouldn't say

380
00:29:07,799 --> 00:29:11,039
the full name if I could help it. He was

381
00:29:11,079 --> 00:29:16,119
a good kid, though, smart, curious, always in his own

382
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:21,759
little world. My mom got the call on a Thursday night,

383
00:29:22,359 --> 00:29:26,440
about twenty years ago. She didn't say much when she entered.

384
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,759
She only stepped out onto the porch with her coat

385
00:29:29,839 --> 00:29:33,440
still on. I stood in the kitchen watching the clock

386
00:29:33,559 --> 00:29:37,240
tick toward ten, already knowing what it meant when I

387
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:40,000
saw how she kept her hand on a hip, nodding.

388
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,240
She came back in after a while, and before I

389
00:29:44,319 --> 00:29:47,359
could ask, she rubbed the side of my face and

390
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:50,599
told me she needed to leave in the morning, some

391
00:29:50,799 --> 00:29:55,880
project downstate. It was part of a job, some contract

392
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,240
work she'd picked up to fill the gaps that a

393
00:29:58,319 --> 00:30:05,079
full time gig didn't cover. It wasn't optional. She packed fast.

394
00:30:06,039 --> 00:30:08,240
It wasn't a first time leaving for a job like that,

395
00:30:09,039 --> 00:30:11,599
but it had never been for a full week before.

396
00:30:12,799 --> 00:30:15,039
She made a list of meals and taped it to

397
00:30:15,119 --> 00:30:18,759
the fridge, left cab money under the toaster in case

398
00:30:18,799 --> 00:30:21,799
something happened, and showed me where she kept the house

399
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,880
key she used to hide in the crawl space. In

400
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,960
the morning, she left before the sun came up. She

401
00:30:30,079 --> 00:30:33,359
stood in the hallway for a second watching me make toast,

402
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:38,599
and said she didn't like leaving us. I told her

403
00:30:38,799 --> 00:30:43,519
I knew, and I'd take care of everything. She held

404
00:30:43,559 --> 00:30:45,759
on to the door frame like she didn't want to

405
00:30:45,839 --> 00:30:50,079
let go of it. Then she walked out without looking back.

406
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,119
She trusted me with a house, and more than that,

407
00:30:56,119 --> 00:31:04,880
she trusted me with my key. Later after dinner, Mikey

408
00:31:05,079 --> 00:31:07,160
was laying on the floor with his knees pulled up

409
00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:10,160
while he scribbled into the back pages of a notebook

410
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,799
he'd torn from school. I was sitting on the couch

411
00:31:14,119 --> 00:31:18,400
flipping through channels. I wasn't watching, but every so often

412
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,160
I looked at him. He was humming under his breath

413
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,480
some off key tune he'd made up that he never

414
00:31:25,559 --> 00:31:29,880
stopped repeating. He was focused on whatever he was drawing,

415
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,119
with a seriousness that didn't fit an eight year old.

416
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,000
He always had that far off focus when he got

417
00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:40,599
stuck in his head. I didn't think he was weird.

418
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:45,440
I think he saw things differently than most people, since

419
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:49,240
he could form full sentences. He'd been adamant that there

420
00:31:49,359 --> 00:31:55,480
was something in his room, not some one, something. I

421
00:31:55,599 --> 00:31:58,400
remember him telling mom that it whispered to her while

422
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,680
she slept. He woke up one night and saw repetting

423
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,839
her hair. She didn't know what to say to that.

424
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,759
Clearly it freaked her out, but she told him he

425
00:32:11,839 --> 00:32:14,759
had a vivid imagination and turned the lights on in

426
00:32:14,839 --> 00:32:18,720
his room for a week after that. It didn't help.

427
00:32:20,559 --> 00:32:23,160
Mikey tore my train of thought when he joined me

428
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,599
on the couch. He sat close enough that his shoulder

429
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,079
touched mine. There was always his way of asking for

430
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:35,799
something without saying it outright. When I didn't react, he

431
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:41,319
finally spoke, Do you think we could watch a scary movie?

432
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:47,400
He asked. I gave him a side eye since went

433
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:51,480
do you care about scary movies? I found out about

434
00:32:51,519 --> 00:32:54,279
them today in school. Me and my friends were talking

435
00:32:54,319 --> 00:32:57,839
about monsters, and they said, people make movies out of them.

436
00:32:59,119 --> 00:33:02,839
You already have enough problems sleeping. I won't if I

437
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:08,720
see what they really like, he said smugly. I figured

438
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,160
if he saw a guy in a rubber soup pretending

439
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,400
to be a ghost in my break. Whatever spell he'd

440
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:19,519
put himself under, fine, I muttered, but if you have

441
00:33:19,599 --> 00:33:22,279
a nightmare, I'm making you sleep in the laundry room.

442
00:33:24,079 --> 00:33:30,799
He smiled and shook his head. I won't. I started

443
00:33:30,839 --> 00:33:34,240
flipping through the free channels. Most of it was junk,

444
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,880
but one station had a horror line up running. There

445
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,160
was a zombie movie halfway through, another one about some

446
00:33:42,279 --> 00:33:48,119
haunted motel. I let the previews play while Mikey leaned forward, fascinated.

447
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,960
Then the screen flickered black and the emergency broadcast tone

448
00:33:54,039 --> 00:33:59,519
kicked in. I froze, hands still in the remote as

449
00:33:59,559 --> 00:34:05,000
that fly buzzing drone filled the room. Mike leaned back, confused.

450
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,800
The words Amber alert appeared in block white letters, then

451
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,920
switched to the red warning screen. The message said there

452
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,400
had been a confirmed break in a few blocks over.

453
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,800
The authority's urged residents in the surrounding neighborhoods to lock

454
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:26,280
all the windows and doors and to report anything suspicious immediately.

455
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:32,559
Mikey read it slowly, lips moving, then turned to me.

456
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,840
He didn't seem worried, but he watched me get up.

457
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,320
I could already feel my chest tightening. It wasn't the

458
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:46,079
alert itself, it was the idea that if something went wrong,

459
00:34:46,679 --> 00:34:49,920
I'd be the one standing between him and whatever came

460
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,599
through the door. I'm gonna check the house, and I said,

461
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:59,519
go brush it, eeth, get to bed. But no, the

462
00:34:59,599 --> 00:35:04,920
movie is over. He groaned and stood up, dragging his

463
00:35:05,039 --> 00:35:08,519
feet toward the stairs. I walked to the front door,

464
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,239
pressed in the lock, tested it twice. I pulled the

465
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:17,079
windows closed, tightened the latches, shut the blind. My hand

466
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:23,639
was shaking, and I hated that. After my paranoia induced

467
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,400
energy wore off, I shut off the lights in the

468
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:31,039
living room and headed upstairs. I passed Mike's room and

469
00:35:31,199 --> 00:35:35,119
saw that his door was cracked open. He was already

470
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:39,400
under his blanket. He didn't say anything when I walked by,

471
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,320
but I knew he was still awake. I stepped into

472
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,679
my room and shut the door behind me. I dropped

473
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,679
into bed and stared at the ceiling, the same as

474
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:55,280
Mikey was probably doing. I kept my phone close. The

475
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,519
charger cable was lying on the ground unused. I hadn't

476
00:35:59,519 --> 00:36:02,440
plugged it in earlier, and now I didn't feel like

477
00:36:02,519 --> 00:36:07,119
the right time to go hunting for the outlet. I

478
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,760
must have been hovering on the edge of sleep when

479
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:18,840
I heard it, a high pitched scream, Mikey's voice. I

480
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,480
sat up so fast my shoulder cracked. My feet hit

481
00:36:22,519 --> 00:36:24,880
the ground, and I was through the hallway before I

482
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,599
knew i'd start up. My heart kicked hard in my chest.

483
00:36:29,519 --> 00:36:33,480
I didn't have time to think. He was screaming, and

484
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:36,000
there was no question in my mind what that meant.

485
00:36:37,559 --> 00:36:40,920
The alert the burglar must have broken in and now

486
00:36:41,079 --> 00:36:45,519
is after Mikey. I should have grabbed something about the

487
00:36:45,639 --> 00:36:51,039
chair by the stairwell, anything I didn't. I pushed this

488
00:36:51,199 --> 00:36:53,719
door open so hard it bounce off the wall behind it.

489
00:36:56,679 --> 00:37:00,760
There was nothing. It was only Mikey, sitting up in

490
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:04,440
bed with his arms around his knees, crying through his teeth.

491
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,440
His eyes were wide, stuck on something that wasn't there anymore.

492
00:37:11,199 --> 00:37:15,199
He saw me and flinched, then opened his mouth to speak,

493
00:37:16,119 --> 00:37:20,119
but nothing came out. I walked over and sat on

494
00:37:20,199 --> 00:37:23,199
the edge of the bed. My hands were shaking worse

495
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:28,440
than his. You're okay, I said. I kept my voice low,

496
00:37:29,159 --> 00:37:35,519
my throat was dry. You're right. He didn't answer. His

497
00:37:35,639 --> 00:37:38,079
breath hitched a few times before he could get it

498
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:43,000
under control. I reached over and pulled him in. He

499
00:37:43,199 --> 00:37:49,599
was sweating through his shirt. Bad dream, I asked. He nodded,

500
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:54,320
his face stayed buried in my shoulder. I wanted to

501
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,639
be annoyed, but I wasn't. That scream had torn through

502
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,920
everything I thought I could have. The fact that it

503
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,880
was a dream made it easier, but it didn't make

504
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,559
it go away. I was still wound up so tight

505
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:16,360
my neck hurt. You want water, I asked, No, he whispered,

506
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,920
You want me to sit with you a bit? He

507
00:38:21,039 --> 00:38:26,960
nodded again. After a minute, he pulled away and wiped

508
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,400
his face with the sleeves of his pajama top. He

509
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:35,760
wouldn't look at me. Here was the monster again, he said.

510
00:38:37,559 --> 00:38:40,960
I glanced around the room, taking it in. There were

511
00:38:41,039 --> 00:38:44,039
clothes on the floor, a plastic cup with a juice

512
00:38:44,079 --> 00:38:46,760
box straw still stuck in it, and one of his

513
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:50,519
drawings taped to the wall above his head. A thick

514
00:38:50,639 --> 00:38:53,519
black line ran down the middle of the page, splitting

515
00:38:53,559 --> 00:38:56,800
it in two. On one side was a boy with

516
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:00,559
a balloon, and the other side was with bigger made

517
00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:08,079
of scribbles. He saw me looking can you check, he asked,

518
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:13,159
his voice cracked at the end. You know there's nothing here,

519
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:18,159
I said, already standing. He probably packed up and moved

520
00:39:18,199 --> 00:39:24,960
when he heard me coming. Mikey didn't laugh. He watched

521
00:39:25,039 --> 00:39:29,320
me with his hands, bawled into his blanket. I sighed

522
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,960
and walked over to the closet. I slid it open

523
00:39:33,119 --> 00:39:37,440
and waited. Nothing but a few shoes and one of

524
00:39:37,519 --> 00:39:39,960
my old hoodies. He kept stealing when I wasn't looking.

525
00:39:41,159 --> 00:39:46,119
I turned to him and gave a mock gasp, empty guess.

526
00:39:46,199 --> 00:39:52,599
We caught him on a smoke break. Still nothing, all right,

527
00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:57,960
I said, let's go all in clausets cleared now from

528
00:39:58,039 --> 00:40:03,280
under the bed, I dropped to one knee and leaned in.

529
00:40:04,519 --> 00:40:08,239
I expected dust, a sock, a piece of broken toy,

530
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,519
maybe one of his drawings crumbled up and shoved out

531
00:40:11,559 --> 00:40:18,119
of sight. But that's not what I saw. At first,

532
00:40:18,599 --> 00:40:21,519
all I saw was darkness and the clint of something

533
00:40:21,639 --> 00:40:24,880
smooth in the back corner. I thought it might be

534
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,559
a marble or one of those glass eyeballs he picked

535
00:40:27,559 --> 00:40:32,039
out of a Halloween prize bin last year. But then

536
00:40:32,119 --> 00:40:38,159
it blinked. It didn't blink like a person. It flexed.

537
00:40:39,039 --> 00:40:43,840
A long, vertical slit opened and closed slowly, and I

538
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:49,360
realized it was staring at me. Two massive yellow eyes

539
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,320
sunk into a head and should not a fit in

540
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,639
the crawl space beneath a child's bed frame. The pupils

541
00:40:56,679 --> 00:41:01,360
adjusted as I stared, thin and long, narrowing against the light.

542
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,519
The longer I looked, the more of it I could

543
00:41:06,599 --> 00:41:12,119
make out. It was covered in thick, uneven fur damp

544
00:41:12,199 --> 00:41:15,400
around the edges, clinging to the floor, as if it

545
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:19,360
had soaked into the boards. Its body stretched deeply on

546
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:23,400
the foot of the bed. Thick limbs pressed against the underside,

547
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,800
like they were forced there, like it had wedged itself

548
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:31,000
into a shape that didn't belong to it. It stared

549
00:41:31,039 --> 00:41:35,280
at me. Its mouth was slightly open, its tongue sat

550
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:39,920
limp between rows of disjointed teeth. Thick strings of spit

551
00:41:40,159 --> 00:41:44,039
hung from its staw. There was something in that look,

552
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:50,840
something not curious, not afraid, not hostile either, If anything,

553
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:58,000
it looked pleased. I couldn't breathe, my chest locked up.

554
00:41:58,679 --> 00:42:01,880
I could feel my pulse, eye ears, but I couldn't

555
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:09,599
will my body to move. Then its jaws shifted, not wide,

556
00:42:10,159 --> 00:42:14,480
but enough to show more of the teeth. It grinned

557
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:20,159
at me. The spell snapped. I threw myself back and

558
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,880
scrambled to my feet. Mikey was watching me with white eyes,

559
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,880
waiting for me to say he was crazy, or that

560
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,320
it was clear, or that we could both go back

561
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:36,199
to sleep. I didn't say anything. I grabbed him by

562
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,679
the arm and pulled him so hard he stumbled. I

563
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,840
dragged him out of the room, across the hallway toward

564
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:47,360
the attic hatch near the laundry closet. He was asking questions.

565
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:52,119
I couldn't hear them. I pulled the chain, dropped the ladder,

566
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:56,400
and shoved him up ahead of me. I scrambled into

567
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,679
the attic behind him, grabbing the string and yanking the

568
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:03,360
lad to back up with both hands. He retracted with

569
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,280
a crack. I slammed the hatch shut and sat back,

570
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:15,960
listening for anything beneath us. Nothing. Mikey was sitting in

571
00:43:16,039 --> 00:43:19,480
the corner near the insulation rolls, breathing through his nose,

572
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,719
trying not to cry. I sat beside him and stared

573
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:27,599
at the hatch. I pulled on my phone. I cracked

574
00:43:27,679 --> 00:43:30,320
thing I brought from a guide school for forty bucks.

575
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:35,239
The screen was scratched but still worked. I dialed nine

576
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,519
one one and pressed it to my ear. My hand

577
00:43:38,639 --> 00:43:44,000
wouldn't stop shaking. It rang once before the operator answered.

578
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,280
I didn't wait for it to go through the usual questions.

579
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:52,559
Someone broke in. I said, there's someone in our house.

580
00:43:54,519 --> 00:43:58,719
I hesitated. That wasn't what I meant, but I didn't

581
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,800
have the words for what i'd I couldn't tell her

582
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,840
there was something under the bed, so I didn't explain.

583
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:10,719
I repeated myself, voice cracking, there's something in her house.

584
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:17,000
We're in the attic. Please send someone, please. She asked

585
00:44:17,039 --> 00:44:21,159
for my address. I gave it to her twice. She

586
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,679
told me to stay calm. She said officers were en

587
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:29,679
route and asked if I could describe the intruder. I

588
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,400
didn't answer that. I told her the doors were locked,

589
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,119
that we were hiding. I asked her how long they'd take.

590
00:44:39,119 --> 00:44:43,519
Then the screen went black. I stared at it for

591
00:44:43,599 --> 00:44:49,440
a second, not understanding what had happened. I pressed the button. Nothing.

592
00:44:50,199 --> 00:44:54,119
I flipped it over. Nothing. It had died in my hand.

593
00:44:56,159 --> 00:44:59,599
Mikey looked at me. He didn't ask if it was okay.

594
00:45:00,519 --> 00:45:04,599
He knew from my face that it wasn't, and then

595
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:10,239
from downstairs, something broke through the kitchen window, followed by

596
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:17,079
scrambling steps and drawers opening and closing. Eventually it was

597
00:45:17,119 --> 00:45:22,360
accompanied by another sound, a massive crash that sounded like

598
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:26,199
it came from where Mike's room would have been. Another

599
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,159
set of steps started, but they were strange, like whatever

600
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,760
was down there didn't walk often. The first view was slow,

601
00:45:35,519 --> 00:45:39,159
then it turned into what sounded like a gallop. Something

602
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:44,320
big moved through the house, gaining speed. The other set

603
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:50,440
a footprints, presumably in the living room, stopped. A while later.

604
00:45:51,519 --> 00:45:56,320
I could hear blooded screams. Cabinets slammed, a table, tipped,

605
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:02,119
chairs screeched across the floor. Wood split into something thick

606
00:46:02,199 --> 00:46:05,880
and weight he tore through the hole. I heard an

607
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:10,360
animalistic noise roll up through the floorboards, something between a

608
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:15,440
growl and a calf. Something started crunching, and a massive

609
00:46:15,519 --> 00:46:20,719
gulp radiated through the house. Mikey buried his face in

610
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:28,400
my side. I couldn't move. Then all sound ceased. Nothing

611
00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:33,079
followed only the cold stillness of insulation pressing against my

612
00:46:33,199 --> 00:46:37,440
back and Mikey's rapid, silent breaths against my ribs stayed.

613
00:46:39,039 --> 00:46:41,800
I didn't know what was going on down there, but

614
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:45,559
I knew sure as hell. I didn't want to find out.

615
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,679
I didn't ask Mikey if you heard it, that would

616
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:55,679
have been insulting. He was shaking, hands clenched around my shirt.

617
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,599
I didn't speak either. I didn't want my voice to

618
00:47:00,679 --> 00:47:03,800
break the silence, in case the silence was what kept

619
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:11,639
it from returning. Time passed. When the first blue light

620
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:15,400
hid the far window in the attic, I audibly gasped.

621
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:20,599
A car door slammed, then another. Boots moved across the porch.

622
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,480
A voice called out from the front of the house,

623
00:47:24,199 --> 00:47:27,400
but I was too afraid to make a sound. They

624
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:31,480
found us both in the attic. We were pale and shaking.

625
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,519
My throat was so dry I couldn't answer their first question.

626
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,039
Mikey hid behind me, still holding under the hem of

627
00:47:40,119 --> 00:47:44,400
my shirt. One of the officers stepped in gently, eyes

628
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:48,880
scanning the hallway, his free hand near his hip. They

629
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:53,519
led us downstairs once they confirmed we were alone. The

630
00:47:53,639 --> 00:47:58,280
house was a wreck. The dinner table had been split

631
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:02,679
in two. It sent a leg crossed inward. Two chairs

632
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:06,480
were broken in places, one lodged halfway through the dry wall.

633
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,960
The cabinet doors hung open and their contents scattered across

634
00:48:11,039 --> 00:48:14,960
the floor. A streak of something dark had smeared across

635
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,480
the linonium one wall, the one beside the coat rack

636
00:48:19,599 --> 00:48:22,639
near the stairs had been cracked open with sheer force.

637
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:27,920
I could see where the wood splintered outward. The broken

638
00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:30,840
kitchen window led in a gust of wind, and on

639
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:36,000
the floor below it was a pistol. The officer picked

640
00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,679
it up with gloved hands. He turned it to his

641
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:45,519
partner and said something I didn't hear. From what I overheard,

642
00:48:46,079 --> 00:48:49,000
they identified it as having belonged to the man from

643
00:48:49,039 --> 00:48:53,039
the Amber alert, the burglar who'd been breaking into homes nearby.

644
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,679
One of the officers patted my shoulder. He told me

645
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,920
I'd done a good job, said calling it in had

646
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:07,400
probably saved both our lives. His tone carried confidence. He

647
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,360
looked past me a few times while he spoke, scanning

648
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,320
the room as if something might still be standing in

649
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,280
the shadows. He said the guy must have broken in,

650
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,920
panicked and fired off around before trying to escape, or

651
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:27,000
maybe something else scared him. They didn't know. No one

652
00:49:27,159 --> 00:49:30,480
had found anything at all, and they never found that man.

653
00:49:30,679 --> 00:49:37,000
After this, I nodded and kept my mouth shut. I

654
00:49:37,119 --> 00:49:40,519
didn't see a reason to correct him. I wouldn't have

655
00:49:40,639 --> 00:49:46,599
known what to say if I tried. Years later, I

656
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:50,400
kept thinking about what the cop said, that maybe something

657
00:49:50,559 --> 00:49:54,679
scared him off. I never saw the thing under the

658
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:58,639
bed again after that night. I don't think Mikey did either.

659
00:50:00,079 --> 00:50:03,599
He stopped talking about it. But I've thought about it

660
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:09,119
more than I care to admit. That night, it could

661
00:50:09,159 --> 00:50:13,239
have followed us up to the attic, but it didn't,

662
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,760
and I've come to believe it wasn't haunting Mikey at all.

663
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:33,960
It was guarding him. I don't usually get sent to

664
00:50:34,039 --> 00:50:38,639
jobs with anybody which suits me. People are all right,

665
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:43,280
but I'm not built for chat. I'm terrible at eye contact,

666
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:47,800
and I always missed the punchlines. Apparently I've got the

667
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:52,840
social instincts of a damn traffic cone. Still I like

668
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:56,360
what I like, and that's all the boring wartime stuff.

669
00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,400
No one under sixty gives a toss about. Learn not

670
00:51:00,519 --> 00:51:04,400
to bring that up unless some one's very bored, very polite,

671
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,440
or already half way through a Scotch egg, so they

672
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:12,000
can't tell me to shut up anyway. The job was

673
00:51:12,079 --> 00:51:15,199
a disused tunnel flagged under the South Cut Clearance Survey.

674
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,719
No one had set foot in there since nineteen forty four,

675
00:51:19,599 --> 00:51:23,119
and when something's been sealed that long, you've no idea

676
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:28,119
what you're walking into. So they sent me with Dan.

677
00:51:29,559 --> 00:51:32,280
He was in his early twenties, one of those blokes

678
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,440
never without his air pods, a vape and a running

679
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:40,880
commentary on UFC fights. It's not my usual preference, but

680
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,239
I've survived us and once still weak on the Carlile

681
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,199
line with a bloke who thought Dunkirk was in Germany.

682
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:53,480
Our job was the log debris, test the clearances and

683
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:57,280
ensure the place wouldn't shear a wagon in half, ready

684
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:01,280
to open up for public use in the summer. He looked,

685
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:06,199
promising they'd green light a proper team. If not, they'd

686
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:10,760
break it up and pretend it had never happened. Our

687
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:14,639
boots hit the ballast just past five a m. Geared

688
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:19,199
up in our safety gear, filtered respirators, tool bags and radios.

689
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,480
The tunnel entrance was locked up with heavy gage chain

690
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:27,880
link fencing two layers deep, backed by timber boards and

691
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,920
a padlock the size of your fist in luglock. Someone

692
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:34,440
had gone at it with bolt cutters, and it had

693
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:39,960
been clumsily patched up above it, the original cast iron

694
00:52:40,079 --> 00:52:44,559
arch loomed, rusted, and stamped with a wartime engineering mark.

695
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:48,280
You'd miss it unless you knew what you were looking for.

696
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,679
Once we'd cracked the fencing and slipped inside, we clicked

697
00:52:53,679 --> 00:52:57,840
on our torches, both beams, cutting lines through the misty black.

698
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,599
The air hit us once we got far enough in,

699
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:06,039
Even with a respirator, it felt like licking the inside

700
00:53:06,079 --> 00:53:11,559
of an old kettle. Every step stirred up dust. Dan

701
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:17,159
glanced around and muttered, bit grim in here. Yeah, can't

702
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:20,639
imagine coming in here without respirators. Have you ever heard

703
00:53:20,679 --> 00:53:24,760
of the Cross Line, I asked? Dan shook his head.

704
00:53:26,039 --> 00:53:30,519
Is that like a brand? Nah, that's the name of

705
00:53:30,599 --> 00:53:33,199
the line this tunnel was part of. They used it

706
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,679
to move supplies between coastal depots and the RAF sites,

707
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:42,599
mostly crates, fuel, and the odd medic unit. March forty four,

708
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,360
it called a loved offt air strike at the Southern

709
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:51,280
Mouth just as a supply train broke down inside. Dan's

710
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:55,320
voice came quiet over the crunch of our boots. Never

711
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,280
heard of that one, he said. The blast created a

712
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:04,320
vacuum of I continued, had touched too brightly for the subject,

713
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:08,199
sucked a fireball straight down the tunnel while they were

714
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:15,519
fixing the train. WHOA were there any survivors? I gave

715
00:54:15,599 --> 00:54:19,239
a dry shrug. Place would have been charred end to

716
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:22,679
end by the time the fire burnt out. With another

717
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,760
line still running and a war to fight that he

718
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:29,320
didn't bother with. The recovery crew just sealed it up

719
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:35,800
and moved on. Dan stayed quiet after that, boots crunching

720
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:42,199
beside mine. I didn't say anything else either. After a

721
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,000
few minutes, he cleared his throat and muttered something about

722
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,400
a fatherweight bout he'd watched last weekend, like he couldn't

723
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,760
bear the quiet any longer, said the bloat came in

724
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,679
underweight and still managed to drop the other guy in

725
00:54:55,760 --> 00:55:00,079
the second round with a spinning elbow, absolute belt. He

726
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:05,639
called it. I nodded, grateful for the mood change, even

727
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:10,519
if I had no clue who's on about. It wasn't

728
00:55:10,559 --> 00:55:13,559
long after that till we noticed signs that tunnel had

729
00:55:13,599 --> 00:55:17,320
taken a knock or two. A few ceiling plates were broken,

730
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:21,119
with rusted bolts hanging loose, and there was a shallow

731
00:55:21,199 --> 00:55:24,079
pile of crumbled brick near one of the cable housings

732
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:29,079
that looked more recent than the rest. Nothing structural, but

733
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:33,840
enough to keep your eyes peeled. Then we started spotting

734
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:39,039
bits of cloth, mostly torn and oily ground into the gravel.

735
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,840
There was a piece twisted under a bolt. He looked

736
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:48,239
like canvas, only thinner. I gave it a nudge with

737
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:53,039
my boot. What do you think it is? Dan asked.

738
00:55:54,039 --> 00:55:56,320
Could be a left oversleeve from the poor sade they

739
00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:02,400
sealed up. He stared at me for a beat. You're joking, right,

740
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:07,679
of course, I am, I said, half laughing. It's probably

741
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,840
just a bit of coat from some drafted trespasser poking around.

742
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:17,320
Does look weird, though, should handle this, he muttered. Stuff

743
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,280
like this can trip someone up if they don't see

744
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:23,800
it proper. Hasard If it's sticking up like that. He

745
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,639
crouched over it and gave it a once over with

746
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:32,159
his glove. Feels weird, bit tough. Not what I was expecting,

747
00:56:33,559 --> 00:56:37,000
all right, I said, watching him pull out a multitude

748
00:56:37,079 --> 00:56:40,360
from his bag. I'll log the next segment up ahead.

749
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:44,800
The junction box should be just past that bend. I

750
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:50,119
tapped the radio clipped onto my chest. Channel four yeah, sheut,

751
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:53,360
if you need anything, or if the fabrics starts acting

752
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:59,800
all haunted either or he snorted, if it does much

753
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:05,199
of anything, I'm legging it. Fair play, I said, and

754
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:11,639
carried on ahead. The tunnel swallowed me up. Each step

755
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:15,400
pulled the air thicker. It was damp and stale, like

756
00:57:15,519 --> 00:57:19,920
the breath of something sleeping. Every twenty or thirty yards

757
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:23,480
there was a refuge bay built for workers that duck

758
00:57:23,559 --> 00:57:27,480
into when trains passed. I made a habit of counting

759
00:57:27,559 --> 00:57:31,199
them to pass the time. Just after the eighth bay,

760
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:36,039
I spotted the glint of twisted steel the husk of

761
00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:40,480
a freight wagon. My heart actually gave a little thumb.

762
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,199
It was a supply train from the cross line story

763
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:49,639
I'd rambled to down about. It was gutted, half melted

764
00:57:49,679 --> 00:57:53,599
across the rails. One axle had folded in on itself,

765
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,519
and most of the siding was gone, peeled back like

766
00:57:57,599 --> 00:58:02,519
a tin of spam. Remained was pitted with rust and

767
00:58:02,679 --> 00:58:05,960
speckled with the droppings of whatever bats or birds had

768
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:09,960
snuck in over the ears. My torch played over the wreck,

769
00:58:10,679 --> 00:58:13,920
and I caught hints of sinched fabric fused into the

770
00:58:14,039 --> 00:58:17,760
rivert and melted boots ale stuck beneath the wheel assembly.

771
00:58:19,639 --> 00:58:27,280
I felt giddy, then grim, and then there was movement

772
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:36,840
just beyond the wreck. Something disturbed the gravel. I froze

773
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:40,840
torch fixed dead ahead. I thought it was a bit

774
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:44,920
of de brieze settling. But just where my light couldn't reach,

775
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:51,000
I noticed the shape, slow and jerky, dragging itself from

776
00:58:51,039 --> 00:58:55,480
the far side of the carriage. At first I thought

777
00:58:55,559 --> 00:58:58,000
some homeless guy had found a way in and picked

778
00:58:58,039 --> 00:59:01,800
the place for shelter. Wouldn't have blamed him in fairness.

779
00:59:02,679 --> 00:59:07,239
It was dry and quiet. You can't be here, mate,

780
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:11,599
I called, there's hazardous conditions you need to clear off.

781
00:59:12,119 --> 00:59:17,760
I won't press you, just get out. That was when

782
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:22,440
he shifted into my light. The first thing I noticed

783
00:59:22,639 --> 00:59:26,960
was it looked like he was wearing someone else's skin,

784
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:32,599
or trying to. Chunks of it clung to him. It

785
00:59:32,719 --> 00:59:34,719
was as if he'd torn it free in a frenzy

786
00:59:35,079 --> 00:59:39,000
and slapped it over himself without care. Bit of torso,

787
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:43,400
her forearm, part of the thigh. The rest of him

788
00:59:43,519 --> 00:59:47,599
was raw, a blistered patchwork of wet red tissue and

789
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:54,400
veins like overstrung wires. I staggered back hard boots, skidding

790
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,480
over the ballast and landed like a sack of bricks.

791
00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:02,840
My tord slipped my grip, skittering across the gravel and

792
01:00:03,039 --> 01:00:06,760
landing a few feet in front, its beam fixed squarely

793
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:12,079
on the thing. I didn't go for it, No, I

794
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:17,039
turned and bolted, heart hammering feet slipping over a loose stone.

795
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,800
I threw myself into the nearest refuge bay and crouched

796
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:27,320
low in the dark, breath snagging in my throat. I

797
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:32,480
stayed silent, listening for footsteps until I realized the texture

798
01:00:32,559 --> 01:00:37,400
under my knee wasn't ballast. Whatever it was was tacky

799
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,880
and stuck to my trousers. I reached for my phone

800
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,079
and lit the lock screen. The glow spilled over the

801
01:00:45,199 --> 01:00:49,840
torn flesh. Skin was missing in wet flaps. Chunks of

802
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:54,480
it peeled and cut off messily, exposing glistening muscle and

803
01:00:54,599 --> 01:00:59,599
slashed tendon. It was clear the man, or whatever it was,

804
01:01:00,119 --> 01:01:03,760
had done it. My hands shook as I cut the

805
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:08,400
light and pressed back hard against the stone. Every inch

806
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,760
of me was worn tight with panic, but I didn't

807
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:16,039
dare move or breathe too loud. I strained to listen

808
01:01:16,119 --> 01:01:18,679
for any sign that the thing out there had heard me,

809
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,440
But there was only a faint sound of metal clinking

810
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:28,480
and some sort of sloshing. So I shifted forward just

811
01:01:28,719 --> 01:01:32,039
enough to risk a glance around the bay's edge and

812
01:01:32,199 --> 01:01:35,159
saw the creature was caught on a heavy still cabling

813
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:39,559
that had fused into his flesh. It carved deep, wet

814
01:01:39,679 --> 01:01:42,360
gougers through the meat of his legs where it had

815
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:47,039
melted in. Every tug sent a fresh jerk through his frame.

816
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:51,559
He tried to move forward, with the cabling dragged him back.

817
01:01:53,039 --> 01:01:56,800
As horrific as it was, I felt a twisted child

818
01:01:56,840 --> 01:02:00,559
of relief because it meant he couldn't get to me.

819
01:02:02,519 --> 01:02:06,519
So I crept forward on all fours as slowly as

820
01:02:06,599 --> 01:02:10,960
I could manage, keeping my eyes fixed on him. He

821
01:02:11,079 --> 01:02:15,679
was still jerking, still struggling against the cable's raw legs,

822
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:20,519
dragging in little burst, but I kept going. Unto my

823
01:02:20,639 --> 01:02:25,519
fingers found the torch and closed around it. Just as

824
01:02:25,599 --> 01:02:32,360
I was shimming away, my radio lit up self could

825
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:37,360
control this is red lead enemy overhead, repeat enemy aircraft sighted,

826
01:02:37,559 --> 01:02:42,960
brace for impact. It was tinny and statigy. The creature

827
01:02:43,119 --> 01:02:47,760
jerked harder, responding to the sound. He threw himself forward

828
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:52,119
with a raspy scream, his limbs stretched at sick angles,

829
01:02:52,639 --> 01:02:55,960
cabling biting deeper as he tore through his own meat.

830
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:02,239
That sudden frenzy broke me. I turned and ran at

831
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:06,639
full sprint, torch clutch tight and breath slicing in short

832
01:03:07,039 --> 01:03:11,920
panic burst through the respirator. Then Dan's voice filtered in,

833
01:03:12,559 --> 01:03:19,199
crackling through the static. Callum, callum mate. I heard him

834
01:03:19,239 --> 01:03:22,480
breathing fast and shallow, like he was trying not to

835
01:03:22,559 --> 01:03:29,280
be heard. Something's here. I don't, I can't. I phonebled

836
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:33,079
for the radio. Dan, I'm on my way. Just hold on,

837
01:03:33,679 --> 01:03:37,239
don't move all right, whatever's down here, it's not right.

838
01:03:38,559 --> 01:03:43,840
Just come back, come back. Another burst of static and

839
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:49,039
no reply. I ran, trying to keep my bearings while

840
01:03:49,199 --> 01:03:51,760
every bone in my body begged me to look back.

841
01:03:53,039 --> 01:03:56,280
I knew it hadn't gotten free, I hadn't heard it following,

842
01:03:57,159 --> 01:04:01,119
but my body didn't care. I didn't stop imagining it,

843
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:06,599
hunting me down. Every step felt too slow. I wanted

844
01:04:06,679 --> 01:04:09,400
nothing more than to grab Dan and escape out of

845
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:14,079
the tunnel. When I reached where I'd left Dan, his

846
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:18,119
tool bag was still there, sitting just where he placed it.

847
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:24,039
There was no sign of him, though. My torch flicked

848
01:04:24,039 --> 01:04:27,679
across the walls until it caught on a maintenance tunnel

849
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:32,039
branching off to the side, narrow and half choked with dust.

850
01:04:33,599 --> 01:04:41,119
I stepped toward it, my heart hammering torch hill tight Dan, Dan,

851
01:04:42,239 --> 01:04:45,840
I called, cursing myself out in my head for not

852
01:04:46,039 --> 01:04:51,559
just bucking it out of there alone. Then I saw

853
01:04:51,719 --> 01:04:55,679
him hunched over near the far wall of the maintenance tunnel,

854
01:04:56,360 --> 01:05:01,159
breathing in shallow rasps. Back turned old as twitching like

855
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:07,079
he was about to throw up. Dan, I said again, lower.

856
01:05:07,159 --> 01:05:11,400
This time I saw something down by the wreck who

857
01:05:11,519 --> 01:05:15,239
was wearing someone's skin or something. I don't know, but

858
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:20,880
we need to get out now. As it got closer,

859
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:25,960
I realized the skin along the spine looked torn and stretched.

860
01:05:27,079 --> 01:05:30,360
His proportions were off. He was too broad in the

861
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:35,800
shoulders and too long in the limbs. I realized then

862
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:39,800
that it was one of those skin creatures, and this

863
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:45,119
one had done a better job than the last. It shifted,

864
01:05:45,679 --> 01:05:51,760
turning fluidly. Dan's face twitched as the thing twisted its neck.

865
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:58,880
It straightened up and lunged towards me. My boots skidded

866
01:05:59,199 --> 01:06:02,159
as I tore back through the tunnel, light bouncing off

867
01:06:02,239 --> 01:06:06,039
sutt and stone. I could hear its irregular foot force,

868
01:06:06,199 --> 01:06:09,679
pounding and scraping against the gravel as it chased me.

869
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:14,079
The mouth of the tunnel appeared ahead, a thin slice

870
01:06:14,119 --> 01:06:18,960
of morning light, calling like a lifeline. I charged full tilt,

871
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,559
shoulder checking the gate as I hit it. The chain

872
01:06:22,639 --> 01:06:26,400
link rattled, hinges, groaning as it gave way under my weight.

873
01:06:27,519 --> 01:06:30,760
I burst into daylight and spun around, grabbing for the

874
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:34,760
edge of the gate, trying to haul it closed. But

875
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:38,880
I wasn't fast enough. The thing was right behind me.

876
01:06:40,239 --> 01:06:42,679
The service train we'd taken in sat a few dozen

877
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:46,920
yards down the track. I folded the step and scrambled inside,

878
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:51,239
boots thudding against the metal floor. I turned to see

879
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:54,360
if it had followed, and just in time to watch

880
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:59,639
it slammed through the gate, limbs flailing. The second it's

881
01:06:59,679 --> 01:07:05,920
bare back met daylight, it shrieked. The exposed flesh sizzled,

882
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:10,840
blistering and splitting down. Steam hissed from beneath Dan's skin.

883
01:07:12,199 --> 01:07:16,920
It stumbled, jerking violently. What was left of Dan's face

884
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:22,280
sagged sideways, folding at the edges. Then it reeled back,

885
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:27,320
flailing as it crawled in reverse, dragging itself back into

886
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:34,320
the dark. I stood there, panting, hands braced against the

887
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:38,800
inside wall of the carriage. I shakily tore the respirator

888
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,000
off my face and sucked in the cold morning air

889
01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:47,119
in deep and frantic gulps. My heart was still in

890
01:07:47,199 --> 01:07:51,440
my throat, every muscle in my body twitching with the

891
01:07:51,559 --> 01:07:57,079
tail end of the panic. When I was sure it

892
01:07:57,239 --> 01:08:01,599
wasn't coming back, I climbed down from the lakes jelly

893
01:08:01,679 --> 01:08:06,039
beneath me and turned toward the entrance. Part of me

894
01:08:06,239 --> 01:08:09,679
wanted to turn around and leave it swinging, but letting

895
01:08:09,719 --> 01:08:13,880
it out wasn't an option, so I hauled the gate

896
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:18,319
shut and snapped the lock into place, stepping back fast

897
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:23,359
the second it clicked. After that, I sat on the

898
01:08:23,439 --> 01:08:26,520
train floor for a while with my elbows on my knees,

899
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:30,880
and when I could bring myself to move again, I

900
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,840
started the train up and took it slow on the

901
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:39,720
way back, my hands white knuckled on the throttle. I

902
01:08:39,840 --> 01:08:43,399
told the site leads those a collapse. Dan got caught

903
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:47,279
in it and I had barely made it out. When

904
01:08:47,279 --> 01:08:50,239
they asked about recovering his body, I said it was

905
01:08:50,399 --> 01:08:55,039
very deep on the debris, inaccessible without risking more lives,

906
01:08:56,560 --> 01:09:03,359
anything to keep anyone else from going back in That night,

907
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:08,119
I just lay there, flat on my back, staring at

908
01:09:08,159 --> 01:09:13,600
the ceiling, and I couldn't stop thinking. My heart kept

909
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:17,039
throwing itself around in my chest like it hadn't figured

910
01:09:17,079 --> 01:09:22,199
out the danger was over. So I got up. I

911
01:09:22,359 --> 01:09:25,479
turned the telly on and started flicking through the channels,

912
01:09:26,039 --> 01:09:28,880
looking for something loud enough to drown out my thoughts.

913
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,720
I landed on a fightery run, and it took a

914
01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:36,600
second to realize it was the one Dan had been

915
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:41,600
on about a featherweight about. I watched the bloke duck

916
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:44,479
a hawk and come back with a spinning elbow that

917
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:50,840
dropped the other guy flat, and he was right. It

918
01:09:51,000 --> 01:10:04,239
was an absolute belter. The hilltop cottage was somehow even

919
01:10:04,319 --> 01:10:07,680
smaller than it looked online, but it made it feel

920
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:13,159
more charming. Sunlight split generously through the mismatched windows, catching

921
01:10:13,199 --> 01:10:16,359
on the old brass fixtures and the worn but beautiful

922
01:10:16,399 --> 01:10:20,199
woodwork that ran along the door frames, while the garden

923
01:10:20,359 --> 01:10:23,640
was wild and overgrown in the best way, full of

924
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:28,159
wild pollinator flowers for bees and tangled roses. With time

925
01:10:28,279 --> 01:10:32,319
creeping into the cracks of the old stone path. It

926
01:10:32,439 --> 01:10:36,119
had flows, but the price had been unbelievably low for

927
01:10:36,239 --> 01:10:41,199
what it was, and Mara was over the moon. I

928
01:10:41,319 --> 01:10:44,880
love it, she beamed, arms spread like she was already

929
01:10:44,920 --> 01:10:48,680
embracing it. And look at that view. It's like a painting.

930
01:10:49,279 --> 01:10:51,840
There are so many pretty places to take pictures off

931
01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:57,159
from my shop. She was right. Our view was stunning,

932
01:10:58,239 --> 01:11:02,119
fields folded over each other in soft green swells, a

933
01:11:02,199 --> 01:11:06,199
thin river glinting with seams of silver, while the town

934
01:11:06,279 --> 01:11:10,079
itself sat low, as much of clustered rooftops nestled in

935
01:11:10,159 --> 01:11:15,039
the valley, ringed by more of those sleepy trees. I

936
01:11:15,119 --> 01:11:18,680
had told Mara it was a romantic reset. I used

937
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:22,399
words like digital detocks and back to basics, which she

938
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:26,439
ate up for what she didn't know. Because I was

939
01:11:26,479 --> 01:11:32,039
buried in debt so deep I couldn't see daylight, cards, loans,

940
01:11:32,359 --> 01:11:35,279
sharks that keep lending even when I had nothing left

941
01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:39,039
to prove I could pay them back. I'd better house

942
01:11:39,079 --> 01:11:42,119
as a final hope to get it all back, and

943
01:11:42,239 --> 01:11:47,720
I'd lost This cottage was a cheap scapegoat. I just

944
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:51,640
didn't know how long we could keep it up. The

945
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,840
general store sat squat and low, as if it had

946
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:59,960
grown there. Inside it smelled like old wood and something sharp,

947
01:12:00,319 --> 01:12:04,720
like vinegar or pickled onions. Mara was already halfway down

948
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:07,960
to one of the narrow aisles, asking about local trails

949
01:12:08,039 --> 01:12:11,159
and making conversation the way she was always good at doing.

950
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:15,119
The man she was talking to was in his late fifties,

951
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:19,000
maybe older, with a weathered face and hands that looked

952
01:12:19,039 --> 01:12:22,359
too big for the delicate register he tapped with one knuckle.

953
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:27,439
When he finally looked up, he did it slowly and grumpily,

954
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:31,680
in that way that I assumed came with age. He

955
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:35,880
looked at Mara, then me, and finally tilted his chin

956
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:41,239
towards our new home. The river wives don't like being seen,

957
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:45,920
he said. His voice was calm, but it felt rehearsed,

958
01:12:47,039 --> 01:12:53,479
especially not by young women. Mara paused halfway through, flipping

959
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:58,800
a trail map over for what the ones by the river?

960
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:02,880
He responded quickly, you'll know them if you see them.

961
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:06,159
Don't let it get that far. And if you have

962
01:13:06,319 --> 01:13:10,039
to walk past the river, wear something that doesn't invite trouble.

963
01:13:11,039 --> 01:13:17,000
Cover up. Before we could ask what he meant, another man,

964
01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:22,439
a customer, presumably spoke from somewhere in the store. He's right,

965
01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:25,239
don't greet him in Do you best to ignore him?

966
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:31,239
Mara turned frowning, like she was trying to decide if

967
01:13:31,279 --> 01:13:35,479
this was a joke or some backwards performance art. I

968
01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:38,399
watched as she folded the trail map with careful fingers,

969
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:43,720
her mouth pressed into a polite, unreadable line. She didn't

970
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:46,880
say anything, but the silence felt like it had teeth.

971
01:13:48,159 --> 01:13:50,520
She gave the man a short nod and stepped away,

972
01:13:51,319 --> 01:13:55,279
the trail map still clutched in her hand. At the

973
01:13:55,359 --> 01:13:58,119
far end of the counter, a woman looked up from

974
01:13:58,119 --> 01:14:02,399
a station behind the battered produce scale, late sixties, maybe,

975
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:05,479
with a pinched expression that made it hard to tell

976
01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:09,479
if she was squinting at something. She looked at Mara.

977
01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:15,079
Girls dressed like that in the city, I'm sure, she said,

978
01:14:15,359 --> 01:14:18,439
sizing Mara up. But the River's not a place to

979
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:23,159
be soft hearted. She dropped a handful of apples into

980
01:14:23,199 --> 01:14:27,640
a paper bag and folded the top slowly. Some bits

981
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:30,159
out here take advantage when you go offering bits of

982
01:14:30,239 --> 01:14:36,159
yourself without thinking. Mara smiled politely, but I could see

983
01:14:36,199 --> 01:14:39,840
the muscle working in a jaw. She wasn't the type

984
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:43,760
to speak to strangers, so she gave a quick of

985
01:14:43,960 --> 01:14:48,920
course and turned to me. I caught her expression, the

986
01:14:49,079 --> 01:14:51,800
kind of look that meant get me out of here

987
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:56,920
before I say something i'll regret. Let's go, I said,

988
01:14:57,199 --> 01:15:00,000
already moving, still need to get to the hard way

989
01:15:00,159 --> 01:15:05,920
shot before it shuts. Thank you for the advice. We

990
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:09,199
stepped out into the sun and Mara was quiet for

991
01:15:09,319 --> 01:15:15,840
exactly three seconds. Bloody hell, she muttered, cover up because

992
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:18,680
my arms are out. It's twenty one degrees and I'm

993
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:21,920
wearing a nice sun dress. Sorry for dressing like it's

994
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:26,319
a warm day and not a funeral. She didn't wait

995
01:15:26,399 --> 01:15:30,359
for me to respond, just kept walking. I get that

996
01:15:30,439 --> 01:15:34,399
it's a small town, she said, but come on offering

997
01:15:34,479 --> 01:15:39,000
bits to yourself. Wear something that doesn't invite trouble. She

998
01:15:39,119 --> 01:15:42,720
made air quotes without slowing a pace. It's all just

999
01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:46,720
polite language and know your place. Girl. Did you notice

1000
01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:50,159
they didn't say a word to you. I did notice,

1001
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:55,720
I said, and yeah, it's daft. I glanced back at

1002
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:59,079
the shop, then ahead at the worn cobbles, tufts of

1003
01:15:59,199 --> 01:16:02,720
grass poking through the gaps, and nettles crowding the edge

1004
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:06,640
of the road. These people have known each other forever.

1005
01:16:07,359 --> 01:16:10,159
They've grown up together and seen each other through weddings,

1006
01:16:10,319 --> 01:16:13,520
funerals in the lot. They've probably sat in the same

1007
01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:16,600
pub with the same pint and the same complaints since

1008
01:16:16,680 --> 01:16:21,560
the seventies I kicked at a loose stone. Were just

1009
01:16:21,680 --> 01:16:24,520
new faces to them. It doesn't matter what we say

1010
01:16:24,720 --> 01:16:27,840
or how reasonable we know we sound. It's just us

1011
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:31,840
stepping into their town. That doesn't make what they said right,

1012
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:37,239
just means it's not about us. I gave her a

1013
01:16:37,319 --> 01:16:40,439
note with my elbow. You know, you could always bring

1014
01:16:40,479 --> 01:16:43,159
a few soaps around to the shop. You give them

1015
01:16:43,199 --> 01:16:48,199
something nice, they might start being nice back. That got

1016
01:16:48,279 --> 01:16:52,079
the corner of a mouth to twitch just enough to

1017
01:16:52,279 --> 01:16:58,039
call it a win. A few days in, I was

1018
01:16:58,079 --> 01:17:01,880
still finding my rhythm, but Mara tucked to the countryside

1019
01:17:02,279 --> 01:17:05,159
as if she had always belonged in it. She was

1020
01:17:05,199 --> 01:17:08,840
already in boots, basket looped over her arm, picking wild

1021
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:11,319
things from the hedgerow as she knew them by name.

1022
01:17:12,439 --> 01:17:15,800
She dried bundles of herbs and twine stretched across the

1023
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:23,000
kitchen window. Yarrow, mug water, lavender, horsetail, always something gently fragrant,

1024
01:17:23,119 --> 01:17:27,239
tucked beneath her ear. She sang when she worked, little

1025
01:17:27,359 --> 01:17:30,520
hums and wordless melodies that carried through the house like

1026
01:17:30,640 --> 01:17:35,560
incense and cheered me up as I worked remotely. Sometimes

1027
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:38,720
I'd find love notes folded and slipped under my coffee mug,

1028
01:17:39,439 --> 01:17:44,359
tiny sketches of flowers or hearts, which felt great until

1029
01:17:44,479 --> 01:17:48,600
I remember the real reason we were here. I started

1030
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:51,880
going for early runs most mornings. I was out the

1031
01:17:51,960 --> 01:17:54,880
door before Maro was up, lacing my shoes and the

1032
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,880
doorstep while the sky was still waking. It gave me

1033
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:02,760
space to think proper. But no matter how far I went,

1034
01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:06,600
I always ended up circling back to the same thought

1035
01:18:08,479 --> 01:18:12,239
I needed to tell her, And the longer I left it,

1036
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:17,039
the worse it would be. I'd lost our old life

1037
01:18:17,079 --> 01:18:21,359
to a stupid, selfish mistake. I hadn't just messed up.

1038
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:27,199
I properly wrecked things. This cottage, this so called fresh start,

1039
01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:34,239
was damage control. And yet she liked it here. She

1040
01:18:34,439 --> 01:18:37,359
was happy, and part of me kept wondering if I

1041
01:18:37,439 --> 01:18:40,319
told her now, would she be furious enough to leave

1042
01:18:41,039 --> 01:18:45,359
or would she stay? Because despite everything, something good had

1043
01:18:45,439 --> 01:18:50,000
come out of the mess. I didn't know. I just

1044
01:18:50,119 --> 01:18:56,159
knew I couldn't keep dodging it forever. One of the

1045
01:18:56,239 --> 01:18:59,520
first few mornings I decided to try a different path.

1046
01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:02,840
I was still working out which ones were worth the

1047
01:19:02,920 --> 01:19:05,880
mud and which ones didn't leave you stuck two fields

1048
01:19:05,920 --> 01:19:09,039
from where you meant to be. This one dipped through

1049
01:19:09,079 --> 01:19:11,920
a patch of large and followed the river for a bit.

1050
01:19:13,039 --> 01:19:17,079
I hadn't been that way before. It was colder down there.

1051
01:19:17,880 --> 01:19:20,920
Damp hung heavy in the air and caught in your throat.

1052
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:24,479
And in the mornings there was a fog that thickened

1053
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:28,760
the closer you got to the river's path. I spotted

1054
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:32,880
some figures in the fog. There were women standing knee

1055
01:19:32,920 --> 01:19:36,640
deep in the river, backs turned half lost between the

1056
01:19:36,720 --> 01:19:40,840
trees and the fog. They seemed to be barefoot. Their

1057
01:19:40,920 --> 01:19:45,479
dresses hung soaked and heavy, clinging to their legs, headscarves

1058
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:50,000
not a tight, not a strand of hair showing. They

1059
01:19:50,119 --> 01:19:54,920
moved in silence, slowly and steadily, scrubbing stained fabric against

1060
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:59,119
old wooden washboards. One of them lifted a strip of cloth,

1061
01:19:59,399 --> 01:20:03,399
wet and hair. She twisted it with both hands, and

1062
01:20:03,560 --> 01:20:09,399
red water trickled out. Then my foot went out from

1063
01:20:09,520 --> 01:20:13,720
under me. I went down hard, knee first onto the path.

1064
01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:17,279
Paine shot at my legs, sharp enough to make me

1065
01:20:17,359 --> 01:20:21,840
swear out loud. My palms followed, scraping against the grit

1066
01:20:22,159 --> 01:20:26,800
and shaving away my skin. I stayed down for a second,

1067
01:20:27,159 --> 01:20:32,000
catching my breath. When I looked, blood was already starting

1068
01:20:32,079 --> 01:20:36,479
to soak through the fabric of my joggers. When I

1069
01:20:36,600 --> 01:20:40,520
limped back into the kitchen, Mara was already at the counter,

1070
01:20:41,079 --> 01:20:44,159
hanging another row of drying bundles in the window while

1071
01:20:44,239 --> 01:20:48,680
she made breakfast. She turned, took one look of my leg,

1072
01:20:49,119 --> 01:20:53,840
then my top, and frowned. What the hell happened to you,

1073
01:20:55,319 --> 01:21:01,239
river path, I said, slipped eyes, The blooded streaks down

1074
01:21:01,279 --> 01:21:06,239
my trousers, the stubborn stains spreading beneath the fabric. She

1075
01:21:06,399 --> 01:21:09,319
touched the him gently, then looked at me for a moment.

1076
01:21:10,720 --> 01:21:14,319
Lucky you, she said, I made a new bar yesterday.

1077
01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:18,880
It's good for blood. Could pull that out nicely. She

1078
01:21:19,039 --> 01:21:21,319
moved to the shelf and peeled back the linen from

1079
01:21:21,359 --> 01:21:24,640
the stack of pale gray soap bars, all the same

1080
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:28,000
size and shape, more than she usually made in one go.

1081
01:21:29,399 --> 01:21:33,399
I frowned, you planning a bulk sale. I didn't know about.

1082
01:21:34,960 --> 01:21:39,039
She didn't answer, too preoccupied with insuring her food didn't burn.

1083
01:21:40,039 --> 01:21:42,359
She passed it to me like she hadn't heard the question.

1084
01:21:44,119 --> 01:21:48,680
Use cold water first, she said, always cold heat sets

1085
01:21:48,720 --> 01:21:51,640
it in, then scrub it out with this, work it

1086
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:55,720
into it, let it sit a bit. She didn't offer

1087
01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:58,239
to do it for me, which was strange for her.

1088
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:03,079
Was it the by the bend, she asked, almost half handedly.

1089
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:09,439
Where the fog rolls in? I nodded, She didn't look up.

1090
01:22:10,560 --> 01:22:13,560
That's where the best wild arrow grows, loads of it,

1091
01:22:13,960 --> 01:22:17,199
just before the river curves back inland. Some of it's

1092
01:22:17,199 --> 01:22:20,000
already gone to seed, but I've still been able to

1093
01:22:20,039 --> 01:22:24,039
find the good stuff. She stirred the part on the stove,

1094
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:29,319
her wrist moving slowly and steadily. It's quiet out there,

1095
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:33,840
she said, I know what you're going to say. Yes,

1096
01:22:34,319 --> 01:22:37,680
I saw the river wives as they call them. Don't worry,

1097
01:22:38,239 --> 01:22:42,000
she scoffed. I didn't bother them. But I still think

1098
01:22:42,039 --> 01:22:44,840
it's mad that a town like this let disordest women

1099
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:47,359
stand out in the col don't laundry like it's eighteen

1100
01:22:47,439 --> 01:22:52,720
twenty bloody backwards. If he asked me, there was a

1101
01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:57,319
long pause as I recorded my encounter this morning. Yeah,

1102
01:22:57,760 --> 01:23:01,920
you're right, I said, but it's not our place. Do

1103
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:03,760
you really need to go all the way out there

1104
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:05,960
for yarrow? I can pick it up for you on

1105
01:23:06,039 --> 01:23:11,520
my runs if you want. She turned slowly. I like

1106
01:23:11,640 --> 01:23:15,319
it here, she said, I love it, actually, But I'm

1107
01:23:15,359 --> 01:23:18,640
not stupid. You've seen how they talk to me like

1108
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:22,479
I'm a child or a house care She set the

1109
01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:25,399
spoon down a bit harder than she probably meant to.

1110
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,920
I won't play small just because it makes this place

1111
01:23:29,039 --> 01:23:32,840
more comfortable. I like my walks. I like finding things

1112
01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:35,800
with my own two hands. I don't need someone fetching

1113
01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:38,680
yarrow for me, like I'm some little wifey who save

1114
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:43,000
us staying inside? All right, all right, I said gently.

1115
01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:49,039
I get it. I'm sorry, she sighed, pinching the breech

1116
01:23:49,079 --> 01:23:52,039
of her nose. Sorry that was an aim at you,

1117
01:23:52,960 --> 01:23:57,439
just all of it. This place is so beautiful until

1118
01:23:57,479 --> 01:24:02,479
people start speaking that way. I stepped forward and rested

1119
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:05,960
her hand lightly on her back. She didn't pull away.

1120
01:24:07,359 --> 01:24:11,199
You're right, I said quietly. You shouldn't have to shrink,

1121
01:24:11,640 --> 01:24:16,239
not for any one. She looked at me, and something

1122
01:24:16,319 --> 01:24:21,399
softened behind her eyes. Her shoulders dropped a little. We

1123
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:25,159
moved here to grow, and instead I'm supposed to fold

1124
01:24:25,279 --> 01:24:30,600
up smaller. You won't, I said, not with me. Not Ever,

1125
01:24:32,680 --> 01:24:35,920
She leaned into my chest with a soft, exhausted sigh,

1126
01:24:36,560 --> 01:24:39,479
and I wrapped my arms around her, careful of the herbs,

1127
01:24:39,560 --> 01:24:43,359
still tired at her hip. I like that, you worry,

1128
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:49,720
she murmured. Just don't make it delicate. I'm not I know,

1129
01:24:50,439 --> 01:24:55,720
I said, You're a bloody force. There got a quiet laugh.

1130
01:24:56,880 --> 01:24:59,560
She pressed the forehead into my shoulder and let it

1131
01:24:59,640 --> 01:25:03,640
sit there for a few seconds longer. Then she pulled

1132
01:25:03,680 --> 01:25:08,000
away and gave my leg a glance. You'd better get scrubbing,

1133
01:25:08,079 --> 01:25:10,760
by the way, if you let that set. I'm not

1134
01:25:10,920 --> 01:25:16,960
making a second batch, noted, I said, cold water, firm scrubbing.

1135
01:25:17,239 --> 01:25:21,960
Let it sit, got it. She gave me a mock

1136
01:25:22,000 --> 01:25:27,560
stern nod and went back to a part. I waited

1137
01:25:27,600 --> 01:25:31,159
a few days before running again. My knee still twined

1138
01:25:31,199 --> 01:25:33,960
when I bent it too far, but I told myself

1139
01:25:34,079 --> 01:25:38,600
the ache was good. It meant I was healing. It

1140
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:42,119
was early again, and the fog thickened as I got closer,

1141
01:25:42,640 --> 01:25:47,359
just like last time. This time, however, I was determined

1142
01:25:47,399 --> 01:25:52,319
to see what was past the river, and as I'd expected,

1143
01:25:53,479 --> 01:25:57,680
they were there again, the same women in soaked dresses,

1144
01:25:58,159 --> 01:26:02,319
dragging the soaking clothes against the washboard. But this time

1145
01:26:02,920 --> 01:26:05,560
one of them turned slightly, like she'd heard me coming.

1146
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:10,520
Her face stayed hidden, just enough that the scarf blocked

1147
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:15,359
everything but the curve of a jaw. Would you be kind,

1148
01:26:16,119 --> 01:26:19,600
she spoke, and give this one a twist. These old

1149
01:26:19,680 --> 01:26:23,960
hands aren't what they used to be. She held up

1150
01:26:24,000 --> 01:26:28,520
a sodden sheet. It was dark and dripping. She turned

1151
01:26:28,560 --> 01:26:32,119
it slightly in her hands. It hung limp and lifeless,

1152
01:26:32,840 --> 01:26:37,920
the water sliding off in long, reluctant ropes. There was

1153
01:26:38,039 --> 01:26:41,399
something in the way, she asked, though I couldn't put

1154
01:26:41,439 --> 01:26:46,479
my finger on it, so I stopped. The fog pressed

1155
01:26:46,520 --> 01:26:49,880
against my back. The only sound was the slow trag

1156
01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:53,439
of fabric and the slap of water on stone. The

1157
01:26:53,520 --> 01:26:58,439
bird song had long disappeared. My fingers twitched like they

1158
01:26:58,520 --> 01:27:01,720
might move on their own, and I shuffled my feet forward.

1159
01:27:02,760 --> 01:27:06,840
But then I noticed their arms. They were pale and bloated,

1160
01:27:07,359 --> 01:27:11,760
way past the usual prune from water. Then I noticed

1161
01:27:11,760 --> 01:27:14,079
the folds of the dress near her wrists were torn

1162
01:27:14,119 --> 01:27:17,920
in places, like the fabric had been picked at and

1163
01:27:18,039 --> 01:27:22,880
the sheet. It wasn't clean, the water sliding off. It

1164
01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:26,640
was thick and red, too heavy looking to just be mud.

1165
01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:32,079
Come on, love, she said again, voice softer this time.

1166
01:27:33,199 --> 01:27:36,880
You've got young arms. I've had awful joint pain lately,

1167
01:27:37,239 --> 01:27:40,560
and a terrible bit of rheumatism in the elbows. It

1168
01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:45,720
just needs a twist. She gave the sheet a small,

1169
01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:50,600
hopeful jiggle, like that would draw me closer. She still

1170
01:27:50,720 --> 01:27:53,439
didn't look at me, which bothered me more than I

1171
01:27:53,560 --> 01:27:57,880
wanted to admit. I don't know why, but it made

1172
01:27:57,960 --> 01:28:02,439
my skin crawl. There was something unnatural about someone asking

1173
01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:07,319
you for help without ever meeting your eyes. My wrists

1174
01:28:07,359 --> 01:28:11,079
have been locking up something terrible, she added, as if

1175
01:28:11,119 --> 01:28:14,680
it hurt just to say, all this damp in the air,

1176
01:28:15,319 --> 01:28:18,479
worse than it used to be, you'd be doing me

1177
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:25,319
a kindness. The other women didn't react. They continued dragging

1178
01:28:25,359 --> 01:28:28,680
their fabrics against the washboard like I wasn't even there.

1179
01:28:29,960 --> 01:28:34,319
The words from the general store came crawling back. Ey's low,

1180
01:28:34,800 --> 01:28:39,279
don't greet them, don't offer anything. I thought it was

1181
01:28:39,359 --> 01:28:42,119
cruel the first time, rude for the sake of it,

1182
01:28:43,520 --> 01:28:46,720
but at that moment they felt like advice was passed

1183
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:53,600
on with caution. Still, I hesitated, because what if she

1184
01:28:53,760 --> 01:28:56,479
really was just some old woman in the cold water,

1185
01:28:57,039 --> 01:29:00,279
soaked to the skin, wrists giving out from year of

1186
01:29:00,359 --> 01:29:03,720
doing this exact motion. What if I was being the

1187
01:29:03,800 --> 01:29:07,319
bad guy here, watching her struggle and walking away like

1188
01:29:07,399 --> 01:29:14,119
it could cost me something? Um, I began, Oh, sort it.

1189
01:29:14,239 --> 01:29:20,319
Then she snapped at my voice, suit yourself. The shift

1190
01:29:20,399 --> 01:29:23,199
in the tone shocked me. It wasn't the sort of

1191
01:29:23,319 --> 01:29:27,039
hurt you'd expect from being turned down. It was snappy

1192
01:29:27,119 --> 01:29:30,560
and impatient, like she dropped something and blamed me for

1193
01:29:30,720 --> 01:29:34,279
not catching it. Not even a moment for an old

1194
01:29:34,319 --> 01:29:38,199
woman with bad arms. She hissed, more to the river

1195
01:29:38,359 --> 01:29:42,079
than me. What a thing to watch someone struggle and

1196
01:29:42,199 --> 01:29:45,479
turn your back on them. Must be nice being young

1197
01:29:45,560 --> 01:29:51,000
and quick. Men are so bloody selfish. I clenched my jaw.

1198
01:29:51,640 --> 01:29:56,119
He flared across my face from embarrassment. A few days ago,

1199
01:29:56,680 --> 01:29:59,520
Mara had practically bitten my head off for offering to help.

1200
01:30:00,359 --> 01:30:02,920
Now some old hag in a river made me feel

1201
01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:06,439
like the villain for not pitching in. I didn't know

1202
01:30:06,560 --> 01:30:10,760
what the hell women wanted any more. I decided to

1203
01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:13,800
stay silent and let the fog have the last word.

1204
01:30:14,960 --> 01:30:17,479
I turned back to the path and let my feet

1205
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:23,079
do what they came here to do. Move. My breathing

1206
01:30:23,279 --> 01:30:26,399
evened out as I picked up my speed. The rest

1207
01:30:26,439 --> 01:30:29,159
of the trail cut through thickets and a small patch

1208
01:30:29,199 --> 01:30:32,720
of pine. The cold stuck to my skin, and the

1209
01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:37,600
sound of the river grew faint behind me, and I

1210
01:30:37,760 --> 01:30:42,319
let it fade. By the time I got home, the

1211
01:30:42,439 --> 01:30:46,640
sun had risen properly. The mist was already pulling back

1212
01:30:46,960 --> 01:30:53,000
like it hadn't touched anything, but something had. I felt off,

1213
01:30:53,359 --> 01:30:56,520
like the run had taken something out of me. My

1214
01:30:56,680 --> 01:30:59,760
legs ached, my fingers felt stiff, and there was a

1215
01:31:00,319 --> 01:31:02,520
in the back of my head that hadn't been there

1216
01:31:02,560 --> 01:31:06,319
when I left. I skipped to breakfast, took a shower

1217
01:31:06,439 --> 01:31:11,520
so hot it should have scolded. Still, he barely did anything.

1218
01:31:12,880 --> 01:31:15,600
By late afternoon, I was curled up on the sofa

1219
01:31:15,840 --> 01:31:21,399
under a blanket, useless. Mara came in from the garden

1220
01:31:21,520 --> 01:31:23,920
with dirt on her knees and a fresh bundle of

1221
01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:28,000
herbs in one hand. That's me sorted for a few months.

1222
01:31:29,520 --> 01:31:31,920
She was slightly wet from getting caught in sudden rain.

1223
01:31:33,520 --> 01:31:37,039
She glanced at me, taking in my pale face, then

1224
01:31:37,159 --> 01:31:41,640
back at the kettle near the fire. You're not running tomorrow.

1225
01:31:42,960 --> 01:31:47,359
I wasn't planning to, I said. My voice came out hoarse,

1226
01:31:47,680 --> 01:31:50,560
like i'd been shouting when I hadn't said much of anything.

1227
01:31:51,920 --> 01:31:55,439
You will like a washed out sock, she said, crouching

1228
01:31:55,520 --> 01:31:58,319
to soak the fire back to life. Then a man

1229
01:31:58,439 --> 01:32:04,720
flew something like that. She didn't press, and set the

1230
01:32:04,840 --> 01:32:08,279
kettle above the fire more carefully than usual, and sat

1231
01:32:08,319 --> 01:32:13,600
beside me, still smelling like rosemary and wet grass. Maybe

1232
01:32:13,640 --> 01:32:16,720
your body's trying to tell you something, she said, quietly.

1233
01:32:17,399 --> 01:32:20,079
They keep pushing into places that you don't want to.

1234
01:32:21,680 --> 01:32:25,880
I didn't answer. I didn't know how to. Really, she

1235
01:32:26,079 --> 01:32:30,399
didn't know it, but she was spot on. She passed

1236
01:32:30,439 --> 01:32:32,319
me a cup of tea. She hadn't asked if I

1237
01:32:32,399 --> 01:32:37,399
wanted strong, slightly bitter, the kind she made when I

1238
01:32:37,520 --> 01:32:42,640
was sick. You're resting tomorrow, she asked, again, gently this

1239
01:32:42,800 --> 01:32:48,319
time yeah, I said, I'm staying in. We can have

1240
01:32:48,359 --> 01:32:55,279
a lion together. She smiled, but kept a distance. Absolutely not,

1241
01:32:56,119 --> 01:32:59,880
she said, I make soaps, not cures. The last thing

1242
01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:02,800
I need is catching whatever this is. And sneezing over

1243
01:33:02,880 --> 01:33:09,119
my stock. I gave a weak laugh, half into the tea. Wow,

1244
01:33:09,800 --> 01:33:15,359
no bedside manner, she grinned, not in the job description.

1245
01:33:16,239 --> 01:33:19,119
You want sympathy, you'll have to bribe me with biscuits.

1246
01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:22,680
Then you'll get some tea and toast in bed if

1247
01:33:22,760 --> 01:33:30,359
you're lucky. The next morning, the sun woke me up

1248
01:33:30,439 --> 01:33:33,960
before I was ready. It poured through the thin curtains

1249
01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:39,439
and strips warm across my face. Nice, actually, one of

1250
01:33:39,520 --> 01:33:42,840
those rare moments where the light feels soft instead of sharp.

1251
01:33:44,079 --> 01:33:47,319
I still felt awful, and became clear that I sweated

1252
01:33:47,399 --> 01:33:50,439
through the night, despite the fact that the sun's warmth

1253
01:33:50,520 --> 01:33:53,000
and quiet made me feel like I could have maybe

1254
01:33:53,079 --> 01:33:57,680
stayed like that for a while. I reached over, expecting

1255
01:33:57,760 --> 01:34:01,279
to feel the softness of mar skin, but the bed

1256
01:34:01,479 --> 01:34:05,520
was empty. The covers and Morra's side were flat and cold.

1257
01:34:06,800 --> 01:34:09,600
I blanked up at the ceiling, confused for a second,

1258
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:13,199
I had been looking forward to tea and toast in bed,

1259
01:34:13,800 --> 01:34:15,840
like she usually did when I had the man flu.

1260
01:34:17,319 --> 01:34:20,720
I listened for her. The house had thin walls. You

1261
01:34:20,800 --> 01:34:25,760
could hear everything in it, but there was nothing, just quiet.

1262
01:34:27,680 --> 01:34:31,600
I sat up slowly, my head swam with that awful

1263
01:34:31,840 --> 01:34:35,840
cotton wool in your skull kind of dizzy. Everything felt

1264
01:34:35,880 --> 01:34:40,119
a bit too bright, a bit too sharp. My legs

1265
01:34:40,159 --> 01:34:44,079
were heavy with fatigue, but I swung out of bed anyway,

1266
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:49,159
feet hitting the cold tile on the floor. I made

1267
01:34:49,199 --> 01:34:53,600
my way around the house, noticing nothing unusual until I

1268
01:34:53,720 --> 01:34:58,399
saw that her boots were missing. She wouldn't have gone far,

1269
01:34:59,279 --> 01:35:01,840
or at least that's what I told myself at first,

1270
01:35:03,039 --> 01:35:07,039
But something didn't sit right. Mara had already gathered all

1271
01:35:07,079 --> 01:35:11,520
the herbs she needed, she'd said, so everything was drying

1272
01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:14,359
nicely on the twine above the sink, and the rest

1273
01:35:14,439 --> 01:35:17,439
of her supplies were tugged away in their usual spots.

1274
01:35:18,640 --> 01:35:20,720
I looked up at the shelf where she kept her

1275
01:35:20,760 --> 01:35:24,159
finished soaps. The top row was still lined with the

1276
01:35:24,279 --> 01:35:30,000
usuals lavender, oat, rosemary, but the pale gray bar she

1277
01:35:30,119 --> 01:35:35,760
had me use the other day we're gone. I moved closer, squinting.

1278
01:35:36,880 --> 01:35:40,079
Maybe theyde me move to the market box. My brain

1279
01:35:40,159 --> 01:35:45,119
felt fogged over, like thinking through clingfilm. I touched the shelf,

1280
01:35:45,319 --> 01:35:51,880
ready to steady myself. Nothing, not a single bar left.

1281
01:35:53,640 --> 01:35:58,039
I opened the bin on instinct, half buried unto yesterday's peelings.

1282
01:35:58,520 --> 01:36:01,840
Was the linen wrap she used for packaging, the same

1283
01:36:01,960 --> 01:36:04,960
dotted one she'd used when she first showed me the batch.

1284
01:36:05,039 --> 01:36:08,960
She had folded once, then crumpled like someone had changed

1285
01:36:09,000 --> 01:36:14,039
their mind. At the last second. I knew where she'd gone,

1286
01:36:14,640 --> 01:36:20,119
even before I admitted it. I knew. I turned and

1287
01:36:20,159 --> 01:36:23,279
grabbed the nearest pair of shoes, my head spinning as

1288
01:36:23,319 --> 01:36:27,319
I bent down, but I shoved them on anyway. The

1289
01:36:27,439 --> 01:36:30,399
air outside was sharp but warm from the rising sun.

1290
01:36:31,199 --> 01:36:34,800
That same low mist was back again, thicker near the fields,

1291
01:36:35,199 --> 01:36:39,119
sticking to my throat with every breath. My legs protested

1292
01:36:39,199 --> 01:36:43,279
the second I pushed into a run, cold muscles left

1293
01:36:43,359 --> 01:36:50,479
over fever. I felt wrong, but still I ran. The

1294
01:36:50,560 --> 01:36:54,079
trail was soft from last night's rain. I kept slipping,

1295
01:36:54,520 --> 01:36:58,760
catching myself Just before I went fully down, my breathing

1296
01:36:58,920 --> 01:37:02,279
turned quick and ragged it too soon. I followed the

1297
01:37:02,359 --> 01:37:05,520
curve on the path past the hedgerow, past the spot

1298
01:37:05,560 --> 01:37:09,479
I fell before, and then I saw a bootprints in

1299
01:37:09,560 --> 01:37:14,840
the mud leading down to the water's edge. I picked

1300
01:37:14,880 --> 01:37:21,000
up speed, and there she was. Mara stood at the bank,

1301
01:37:21,399 --> 01:37:25,920
boots muddy, sleeves pushed up. She had both hands out

1302
01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:29,119
in front of her, offering the soap to the river wives.

1303
01:37:30,439 --> 01:37:34,279
The woman closest to her lifted her head and I

1304
01:37:34,399 --> 01:37:38,800
saw her. Her face was puffed out in places and

1305
01:37:38,960 --> 01:37:42,000
sunken in others, like it had been soaking too long

1306
01:37:42,119 --> 01:37:45,960
in the wrong kind of water. Her bloated corpse came

1307
01:37:46,000 --> 01:37:50,439
to mind. Her skin had that gray, puffy look like

1308
01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:54,079
you'd seen pictures you wish you hadn't clicked on. Her

1309
01:37:54,159 --> 01:37:57,359
lips were pulled thin, but puffed at the edges, like

1310
01:37:57,479 --> 01:38:00,960
they were losing their shape. I opened my mouth to

1311
01:38:01,039 --> 01:38:06,840
call out, but instead my stomach turned. The run, the fever,

1312
01:38:07,359 --> 01:38:10,000
and the sight of the woman all hit me at once.

1313
01:38:11,159 --> 01:38:13,920
The taste of last night's food climbed back up my throat,

1314
01:38:14,600 --> 01:38:16,840
and I barely had time to lurch to the side

1315
01:38:17,079 --> 01:38:22,039
before it came up. I doubled over, wretching hard, hands

1316
01:38:22,159 --> 01:38:26,439
braced to my knees, bitter half digested vomit, hid the

1317
01:38:26,560 --> 01:38:31,319
mud with a wet slap my eyes watered. The noise,

1318
01:38:31,520 --> 01:38:34,560
the stench, and the sting in my nose all grounded

1319
01:38:34,640 --> 01:38:38,119
me and made it worse. I wiped my mouth of

1320
01:38:38,199 --> 01:38:41,439
the back of my dressing gown sleeve. Heart still hammering,

1321
01:38:41,840 --> 01:38:46,039
chest heaving, and Mara had turned towards me with a

1322
01:38:46,159 --> 01:38:52,119
concerned look on her face. She didn't have time to

1323
01:38:52,239 --> 01:38:56,880
say anything. The river wives moved faster than they had

1324
01:38:57,000 --> 01:38:59,960
any right to. One of them searched from the wa

1325
01:39:00,119 --> 01:39:04,760
water in a wet heave, cloth slapping against stone. Mara

1326
01:39:04,920 --> 01:39:08,640
turned too late, her hands fumbled, soap, slipping from her

1327
01:39:08,680 --> 01:39:12,399
palms and hitting the rocks. Another one rose behind her,

1328
01:39:12,800 --> 01:39:18,239
then another and another. They surrounded her, water logged limbs

1329
01:39:18,399 --> 01:39:22,800
coiling around her legs, wasisting arms. One pressed a palm

1330
01:39:22,920 --> 01:39:25,960
flat against her chest. Her boots lost grip, and her

1331
01:39:26,039 --> 01:39:30,640
knees gave. They began to drag their washboards across her back,

1332
01:39:31,199 --> 01:39:34,279
over her arms, over a scalp, like they were trying

1333
01:39:34,319 --> 01:39:39,520
to strip a clean They worked fast. Her clothes came

1334
01:39:39,600 --> 01:39:43,239
apart of the seams. Threads poured like worms from the stitching.

1335
01:39:44,760 --> 01:39:49,640
Her skin went with it, peeled back in patches, red, bloomy,

1336
01:39:49,920 --> 01:39:53,720
and then vanishing under the froth. One of them worked

1337
01:39:53,760 --> 01:39:56,319
at her wrist until the joint gave a little pop,

1338
01:39:57,199 --> 01:40:01,520
then twisted another open the mouth wide and bit down

1339
01:40:01,560 --> 01:40:05,800
on Mara's shoulder like it was bread. The flesh gave.

1340
01:40:07,640 --> 01:40:14,119
Mara's mouth opened, but no sound came. I forced myself upright,

1341
01:40:14,920 --> 01:40:19,600
stumbling forward. My legs didn't want to cooperate. Mara reached

1342
01:40:19,640 --> 01:40:22,600
out in a last weak attempt to push away, to

1343
01:40:22,760 --> 01:40:27,720
reach for me, but then her head went under Her

1344
01:40:27,800 --> 01:40:30,520
hair was the last thing I saw of her, fanned

1345
01:40:30,560 --> 01:40:35,399
out on the surface like ink in water. I finally

1346
01:40:35,520 --> 01:40:39,239
made myself step forward, and one foot sank into the bank,

1347
01:40:41,159 --> 01:40:47,000
but I didn't go any further. I couldn't. I was outnumbered.

1348
01:40:49,000 --> 01:40:52,079
There were too many of them, and whenever they were,

1349
01:40:52,880 --> 01:40:56,960
they weren't just old bats with bad joints. I threw

1350
01:40:57,079 --> 01:41:02,239
up again, barely staying upright, still shaking. I could taste

1351
01:41:02,239 --> 01:41:04,399
it all in my mouth, and the feel of last

1352
01:41:04,479 --> 01:41:08,359
night sweat still clinging to my neck. One of them

1353
01:41:08,439 --> 01:41:11,720
turned slightly in my direction, just enough to let me

1354
01:41:11,840 --> 01:41:16,600
know she clocked me, and I stumbled back weakly, shoes

1355
01:41:16,680 --> 01:41:20,359
skidding in the mud. My heel caught a root and

1356
01:41:20,479 --> 01:41:24,159
I went down hard, hands scraping against the cold, mudded

1357
01:41:24,239 --> 01:41:27,399
stone as I scurried back on my feet, losing a

1358
01:41:27,479 --> 01:41:32,159
shoe to the river, and I ran faster than I

1359
01:41:32,239 --> 01:41:37,039
had ever run before. I didn't stop until I hit

1360
01:41:37,079 --> 01:41:40,399
the edge of the village. My lungs were burning, my

1361
01:41:40,560 --> 01:41:44,720
chest felt too small. One foot was raw, my sock

1362
01:41:44,880 --> 01:41:47,680
soaked through, and mud clinging to the back of my

1363
01:41:47,800 --> 01:41:54,479
legs like tar. I stumbled into the center, wheezing, hunched ies,

1364
01:41:54,560 --> 01:41:58,920
scanning for anyone. The first person I saw was the

1365
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:04,560
woman from the shop. She didn't flinch. You're a state,

1366
01:42:05,439 --> 01:42:09,199
she said, instead, eyes flicking to my missing shoe, then

1367
01:42:09,239 --> 01:42:12,960
the blood and the dirt down my arm. You went

1368
01:42:13,079 --> 01:42:18,000
down there, didn't you. I opened my mouth to speak,

1369
01:42:18,800 --> 01:42:22,479
but the words weren't ready. My throat closed around them.

1370
01:42:23,760 --> 01:42:27,239
Behind her, another man leaned out from the post office steps.

1371
01:42:28,279 --> 01:42:30,960
He took one look at me, then shook his head

1372
01:42:31,399 --> 01:42:35,640
like he's seen all he'd needed. You were worn, son,

1373
01:42:36,279 --> 01:42:39,760
Better not bring that hassel into town. Either leave or

1374
01:42:39,840 --> 01:42:45,039
go back and finish what you've started. I shook my head,

1375
01:42:45,399 --> 01:42:51,720
still breathless, voice barely there. I need the police, I

1376
01:42:51,880 --> 01:42:58,800
need someone to The woman scoffed, actually scoffed, Oh love,

1377
01:42:59,479 --> 01:43:03,159
no one's pulling anyone. What would they even do? Fill

1378
01:43:03,199 --> 01:43:07,119
out a form and lose it. I looked up at her,

1379
01:43:07,800 --> 01:43:11,119
mud streaked at my legs, acid in my throat, one

1380
01:43:11,199 --> 01:43:15,199
shoe gone to the river. I must have looked half mad.

1381
01:43:16,800 --> 01:43:21,239
She's gone, I said. It came out dry and it stung.

1382
01:43:22,640 --> 01:43:27,359
They took her. The woman from the shop just shook

1383
01:43:27,399 --> 01:43:33,800
her head. Then it's done. She looked me over again.

1384
01:43:34,520 --> 01:43:38,039
But there was no pity in it. They're not coming

1385
01:43:38,119 --> 01:43:42,600
for you, she said. Whatever happened out there, it was

1386
01:43:42,680 --> 01:43:46,600
between her and them. They don't take much interest in men.

1387
01:43:48,640 --> 01:43:51,640
She nodded at my state like that explained it all.

1388
01:43:52,760 --> 01:43:56,600
You're not. There's the bother unless you give them a reason.

1389
01:43:58,920 --> 01:44:02,560
She paused momentary, as if deciding whether to waste the

1390
01:44:02,640 --> 01:44:06,600
time saying the rest. Then she nodded toward the village green.

1391
01:44:07,920 --> 01:44:11,039
You can waste your morning reporting it. The police will

1392
01:44:11,079 --> 01:44:14,039
be down there, poke around with a note box, and

1393
01:44:14,159 --> 01:44:17,199
by the time they do, they won't find a thing.

1394
01:44:18,520 --> 01:44:24,039
They never do. She shifted a weight and tucked her

1395
01:44:24,119 --> 01:44:29,319
hands into a cardigan's sleeves. Or you can come inside,

1396
01:44:29,800 --> 01:44:32,600
sit down and have a cup of tea. Let it

1397
01:44:32,720 --> 01:44:35,720
settle a bit, figure out what you want to do next.

1398
01:44:36,399 --> 01:44:43,079
If anything, I couldn't answer. The clouds had closed in

1399
01:44:43,560 --> 01:44:49,399
and rain had started again, that fine, soaking kind she

1400
01:44:49,560 --> 01:44:53,880
gave me a look that wasn't quite sympathy, just something like,

1401
01:44:54,960 --> 01:45:04,359
well pick. The weeks that followed were slow and quiet

1402
01:45:04,640 --> 01:45:08,399
in the worst kind of way. The shop lady was right.

1403
01:45:09,239 --> 01:45:12,600
The police didn't find anything. They looked at me like

1404
01:45:12,720 --> 01:45:16,000
they knew what was happening, like an adult checking under

1405
01:45:16,039 --> 01:45:19,800
a child's bed for monsters. They asked me to walk

1406
01:45:19,880 --> 01:45:24,000
them through it, so I did. The whole thing sounded

1407
01:45:24,079 --> 01:45:27,399
like a story. One of them nodded like he was listening,

1408
01:45:28,079 --> 01:45:30,680
but I could tell he wasn't hearing a word and

1409
01:45:30,880 --> 01:45:34,840
just filling in boxes in his head. They stepped down

1410
01:45:34,880 --> 01:45:38,399
to the river eventually, boots careful on the edge, like

1411
01:45:38,520 --> 01:45:42,159
they didn't want to get dirty. One of them crouched

1412
01:45:42,159 --> 01:45:44,439
and stared at the water for a while, like he

1413
01:45:44,560 --> 01:45:48,479
might offer something up if he looked long enough. The

1414
01:45:48,600 --> 01:45:51,720
other paced around with a stick, proding at the reeds

1415
01:45:52,079 --> 01:45:54,680
like he would find her folded neatly in the mud,

1416
01:45:55,399 --> 01:46:00,199
just waiting to be uncovered. They didn't find any thing.

1417
01:46:01,239 --> 01:46:04,319
They knew they wouldn't. I could see it in the

1418
01:46:04,359 --> 01:46:10,119
way they moved, slow and half hearted. In the end,

1419
01:46:10,560 --> 01:46:13,119
they gave me a number to call and said someone

1420
01:46:13,199 --> 01:46:16,319
might be in touch if anything came up, though it

1421
01:46:16,479 --> 01:46:23,199
probably wouldn't. I didn't leave the town. I couldn't. Every

1422
01:46:23,359 --> 01:46:26,520
room still had her in it despite our short time here.

1423
01:46:27,479 --> 01:46:30,319
Her handwriting on labels, her coat on the back of

1424
01:46:30,359 --> 01:46:33,640
the door, A stupid mug with a chip in the handle,

1425
01:46:33,960 --> 01:46:39,199
she always said, gave it character. Some mornings I'd wake

1426
01:46:39,279 --> 01:46:43,319
up forgetting, turning to her side of the bed, expecting

1427
01:46:43,399 --> 01:46:46,359
her weight and warmth, only to be met with a

1428
01:46:46,479 --> 01:46:54,239
flat sheet in silence. And that's all it took. The

1429
01:46:54,359 --> 01:46:57,720
silence would drag me back to that day, straight to

1430
01:46:57,800 --> 01:47:02,239
the mud her final moments, and she reached out, my

1431
01:47:02,399 --> 01:47:04,920
chest would lock up like someone had stuck their hand

1432
01:47:04,960 --> 01:47:10,359
inside and squeezed tight, and my hands would shake. Breathing

1433
01:47:10,439 --> 01:47:14,279
would come out wrong, sharp and fast, like I was choking.

1434
01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:18,720
Sometimes I'd curl up and try to ride it out.

1435
01:47:19,600 --> 01:47:22,159
Other times I'd sit up and press my palms to

1436
01:47:22,239 --> 01:47:24,680
my knees like they might pin me to the moment

1437
01:47:25,039 --> 01:47:30,640
and anchor me down until the wave passed. It always passed,

1438
01:47:31,479 --> 01:47:36,359
but it took its time. Some days I thought I

1439
01:47:36,399 --> 01:47:39,119
should burn the whole house down with myself in it,

1440
01:47:40,800 --> 01:47:44,640
but I didn't. The people in town started treating me

1441
01:47:44,760 --> 01:47:49,479
differently with noods and cups of tea. The townspeople stopped

1442
01:47:49,520 --> 01:47:53,199
to ask how I was holding up. They didn't say sorry,

1443
01:47:53,880 --> 01:47:56,760
not outright, but it was there and the way they

1444
01:47:56,840 --> 01:48:01,800
helped me. The shop woman held even started saving me

1445
01:48:01,920 --> 01:48:05,199
the good milk without asking. One of the older men

1446
01:48:05,279 --> 01:48:08,520
gave me a spare radio in case the silence ever

1447
01:48:08,600 --> 01:48:13,720
gets too loud. You're one of us, now, Hilda said,

1448
01:48:14,119 --> 01:48:18,359
handing me a paper bag of apples without charging. Everyone

1449
01:48:18,479 --> 01:48:26,079
loses someone eventually, in one way or another. So I stayed,

1450
01:48:27,199 --> 01:48:30,199
partly because I had nowhere else to go, and partly

1451
01:48:30,359 --> 01:48:34,239
because of my debt. Even if I could, the thought

1452
01:48:34,319 --> 01:48:37,000
of packing up and moving on somewhere else without her

1453
01:48:37,520 --> 01:48:41,600
made me feel sick. I kept Mara's little shop going

1454
01:48:41,760 --> 01:48:44,640
under a name, changed the labels on a soap to

1455
01:48:45,159 --> 01:48:49,720
Mara's Blend, and started selling them at the market. They

1456
01:48:49,800 --> 01:48:53,920
did well. I messed up a few batches, some trial

1457
01:48:54,000 --> 01:48:58,159
and error, but before I knew it, they started to

1458
01:48:58,199 --> 01:49:02,359
smell like hers. It was maybe a month when I

1459
01:49:02,479 --> 01:49:06,479
realized I was out of Yarrow. I'd use the last

1460
01:49:06,560 --> 01:49:10,079
bit of it on the latest batch. He didn't feel

1461
01:49:10,159 --> 01:49:13,680
right to stop making one of her best sellers. I

1462
01:49:13,760 --> 01:49:16,760
thought about asking someone to fetch some for me, but

1463
01:49:16,880 --> 01:49:23,039
that felt like cheating, so I waited. A few days

1464
01:49:23,159 --> 01:49:26,800
turned into a week. I kept putting it off, and

1465
01:49:26,920 --> 01:49:31,039
even tried looking for it in different areas. At one point,

1466
01:49:31,479 --> 01:49:34,880
I told myself the blend didn't need yarrow, but I

1467
01:49:34,960 --> 01:49:37,800
knew I was wrong. Every time I ran my thumb

1468
01:49:37,960 --> 01:49:41,680
over the label. Mara would have been furious at me

1469
01:49:41,800 --> 01:49:46,399
for half passing something under her name. The thought stuck

1470
01:49:46,680 --> 01:49:50,279
and grew teeth. I kept seeing her hands, the way

1471
01:49:50,399 --> 01:49:53,279
she held the bars when they were still curing, her

1472
01:49:53,319 --> 01:49:57,880
thumb running along the edge. She'd never half finished anything,

1473
01:49:58,560 --> 01:50:04,079
not even breakfast, And there I was, letting fear decide

1474
01:50:04,239 --> 01:50:07,840
what got made and what didn't, letting it whisper that

1475
01:50:08,000 --> 01:50:12,199
maybe it wasn't worth finishing. Maybe I was safe and

1476
01:50:12,319 --> 01:50:16,920
not to Mara would have seen through that. In two seconds,

1477
01:50:17,640 --> 01:50:21,239
she'd have thrown something at me, probably a damp tea towel,

1478
01:50:21,840 --> 01:50:24,199
and she'd have followed it up with that sharp look

1479
01:50:24,319 --> 01:50:30,680
she had, the one that said pull yourself together, and

1480
01:50:30,800 --> 01:50:34,720
she'd have been right. All I did was give the

1481
01:50:34,800 --> 01:50:38,640
anger space to grow. It started low in my chest

1482
01:50:39,119 --> 01:50:42,439
and curled around the edges of everything, as if fested

1483
01:50:42,520 --> 01:50:45,520
into the corners of the cottage and on to her

1484
01:50:45,680 --> 01:50:52,079
side of the bed. Eventually it boiled up into an idea,

1485
01:50:53,319 --> 01:50:57,520
one I couldn't shake away no matter what I tried.

1486
01:51:01,680 --> 01:51:05,000
That evening, the local pub was lively and dimly lit.

1487
01:51:06,039 --> 01:51:08,680
A few of the regulars scattered across the low tables,

1488
01:51:09,159 --> 01:51:13,479
shouting across to each other, cracking jokes. The fire was

1489
01:51:13,560 --> 01:51:17,279
more glow than flame by now, mostly embers tucked into

1490
01:51:17,359 --> 01:51:20,520
the grate, flickering just enough to keep the cold off

1491
01:51:20,560 --> 01:51:24,680
the walls. George, the gent who gave me the radio,

1492
01:51:24,880 --> 01:51:27,840
sat near the back half, watching darts on the telly.

1493
01:51:29,199 --> 01:51:32,199
I took the stool next to him, no fuss, and

1494
01:51:32,359 --> 01:51:37,279
didn't bother with a pint. You still got that shotgun,

1495
01:51:37,920 --> 01:51:42,920
I asked, Bloody hell, he said, after a pause. You

1496
01:51:43,000 --> 01:51:48,279
don't start with hello anymore. Didn't feel like chatting. Clearly,

1497
01:51:49,399 --> 01:51:52,800
he glanced at me, suspiciously, like you already knew why

1498
01:51:52,880 --> 01:51:59,359
I was there? What for foxes? I said, been getting

1499
01:51:59,399 --> 01:52:02,520
into the garden. They've stuck up half the beds, most

1500
01:52:02,560 --> 01:52:08,359
of Mara's corner, chewed through all her hard work. That

1501
01:52:08,479 --> 01:52:11,359
made him pause, and he set his pint down onto

1502
01:52:11,399 --> 01:52:17,640
the sticky table, sombly, blerdy hell. He muttered that patch

1503
01:52:17,680 --> 01:52:21,439
always looked proper. Never thought foxes would go after herbs.

1504
01:52:23,880 --> 01:52:26,960
He went quiet at that rouse, drawing in a touch,

1505
01:52:27,520 --> 01:52:30,600
the lines around his eyes settling deeper, as if he

1506
01:52:30,680 --> 01:52:33,199
were figuring out whether that was the truth or not.

1507
01:52:35,079 --> 01:52:38,399
Been hearing that from folks too, he said, after a beat.

1508
01:52:39,199 --> 01:52:43,399
Not just foxes, badgers and rabbits too, all of them

1509
01:52:43,520 --> 01:52:47,359
turning up where they shouldn't be. They're bold, like they've

1510
01:52:47,359 --> 01:52:51,439
forgot how to be wild. Don't bolt anymore, just stand

1511
01:52:51,479 --> 01:52:55,960
and watch you like they're taunting you. I nodded. Once,

1512
01:52:57,239 --> 01:53:03,159
that's what they've been doing. He studied me again. You're

1513
01:53:03,199 --> 01:53:09,760
planning to shoot anything, only if I have to. He

1514
01:53:09,880 --> 01:53:12,920
let that sit between us for a second, then gave

1515
01:53:13,000 --> 01:53:16,399
a small nod. I'll get it to you in the morning,

1516
01:53:17,000 --> 01:53:20,720
he said, one day. Only barrel pulls a bit left

1517
01:53:20,760 --> 01:53:23,399
if you're not paying attention, and it kicks like it's

1518
01:53:23,399 --> 01:53:26,479
got something to prove. So don't try and be clever.

1519
01:53:28,279 --> 01:53:34,840
I won't. Once I had the gun, I set out early.

1520
01:53:35,920 --> 01:53:38,640
The sky was gray and the path was soft with

1521
01:53:38,800 --> 01:53:42,800
last night's rain. The shotgun was wrapped in oil cloth

1522
01:53:42,960 --> 01:53:46,319
and strapped across my back. I could feel it with

1523
01:53:46,439 --> 01:53:53,520
every step foxes, I said, pests. George must have known

1524
01:53:54,279 --> 01:53:58,239
he'd handed me the gun. Like he understood. He said nothing,

1525
01:53:58,399 --> 01:54:01,319
but gave me a small nod, the kind that said

1526
01:54:02,399 --> 01:54:05,119
do whatever you got a doo, mate, but don't come

1527
01:54:05,199 --> 01:54:11,039
crying after The fog was thicker, this time, proper thick.

1528
01:54:12,039 --> 01:54:15,000
It clung to the hedges and swelled low across the path.

1529
01:54:16,079 --> 01:54:20,159
The visibility was awful. The river wasn't even in sight yet,

1530
01:54:21,439 --> 01:54:26,319
but I could feel it just around the bend, that damp,

1531
01:54:26,720 --> 01:54:32,399
cold presence and impending doom. I stopped walking, reached back

1532
01:54:32,840 --> 01:54:37,840
and undid the strap. It came free, without fuss, oilcloth,

1533
01:54:38,000 --> 01:54:42,560
damp with mist. I wrapped it slowly, feeling the weight

1534
01:54:42,640 --> 01:54:46,960
of it in my hands. It felt wrong, like it

1535
01:54:47,079 --> 01:54:51,279
knew I had no business holding it. My arms weren't

1536
01:54:51,319 --> 01:54:55,520
made for this, My hands weren't steady. I never handled

1537
01:54:55,520 --> 01:55:00,680
one before, not properly, not like this. And there I

1538
01:55:00,920 --> 01:55:04,000
was alone in the mud, with fog at my ankles

1539
01:55:04,359 --> 01:55:07,079
and a loaded shotgun in my grip. Like I knew

1540
01:55:07,159 --> 01:55:11,399
what the hell I was doing. I broke it open

1541
01:55:11,479 --> 01:55:14,680
to check the two shells. They were right where they

1542
01:55:14,680 --> 01:55:17,640
were meant to be, and when I clicked it shut,

1543
01:55:18,359 --> 01:55:24,119
it made a proper sound, clean and final. Then I

1544
01:55:24,279 --> 01:55:28,039
kept moving slowly. My boots sank a little into the

1545
01:55:28,079 --> 01:55:31,279
wet ground. With each step. I could feel the thud

1546
01:55:31,359 --> 01:55:33,640
of my heart beat in my jaw and finger tips.

1547
01:55:36,039 --> 01:55:40,000
Then I saw it, a figure of a woman standing

1548
01:55:40,079 --> 01:55:43,479
in the water with her back turned, her dress soaked

1549
01:55:43,600 --> 01:55:46,840
and clinging to her legs, and her head was wrapped

1550
01:55:46,880 --> 01:55:51,920
in a scarf pulled tight. Every muscle in me went taut.

1551
01:55:53,319 --> 01:55:56,039
I raised the gun and flicked the safety off with

1552
01:55:56,159 --> 01:56:01,640
my thumb, clumsy and stiff. Was louder than I expected.

1553
01:56:02,520 --> 01:56:04,279
It made the hairs on the back of my neck

1554
01:56:04,399 --> 01:56:09,520
stand up. The figure reacted to the noise, one foot

1555
01:56:09,680 --> 01:56:13,239
dragging through the water, like she was remembering how to stand.

1556
01:56:14,640 --> 01:56:18,520
Her body swayed slightly, and every part of me tensed.

1557
01:56:19,920 --> 01:56:23,800
My arms were locked and my shoulders tightened. I braced

1558
01:56:23,840 --> 01:56:27,520
the stock against my shoulder properly, lifted the barrel and

1559
01:56:27,680 --> 01:56:32,119
lined it up through the gray. The fog swirled around her,

1560
01:56:32,520 --> 01:56:36,920
thick as milk, only showing a blur of her I

1561
01:56:36,960 --> 01:56:39,880
couldn't see her face. But I knew what this was.

1562
01:56:40,439 --> 01:56:46,319
What it had to be one of them. I had

1563
01:56:46,359 --> 01:56:50,439
seen this before. I knew this shape, this silence, the

1564
01:56:50,600 --> 01:56:55,399
soap dress clinging to her legs, sleeves hanging, heavy hair hidden,

1565
01:56:56,079 --> 01:56:59,880
no part of her left of recognize. She was just

1566
01:57:00,159 --> 01:57:06,239
another one of them, waiting for a next victim. So

1567
01:57:06,399 --> 01:57:09,840
I aimed, and just when I had her square in

1568
01:57:09,960 --> 01:57:17,680
my sight, she spoke, did you finally bring those biscuits

1569
01:57:17,720 --> 01:57:23,319
you promised me? The words took the ground from under

1570
01:57:23,359 --> 01:57:27,439
me without warning, and my arms dropped just a little

1571
01:57:28,279 --> 01:57:33,239
and shock. I couldn't help it. It felt as if

1572
01:57:33,319 --> 01:57:42,439
the gun had become heavier because it was her. It

1573
01:57:42,600 --> 01:57:56,840
was Mara. Around five years ago, I started gravitating towards

1574
01:57:56,960 --> 01:58:01,000
jobs that made solitude or requirement instead of a consequence.

1575
01:58:02,119 --> 01:58:05,760
Just after finally accepting that I was an introvert. I

1576
01:58:05,880 --> 01:58:10,079
tried wild life surveys, a forestry internship, and even worked

1577
01:58:10,159 --> 01:58:13,800
private fire mitigation one summer before this gig found me.

1578
01:58:15,039 --> 01:58:17,039
It's how I ended up at my post on the

1579
01:58:17,159 --> 01:58:23,279
Northern Edge Tower nine. The government or whoever owned this

1580
01:58:23,399 --> 01:58:27,600
place referred to it as a conservation perimeter or some

1581
01:58:27,760 --> 01:58:31,800
other empty phrasing. What it really was, though, was a

1582
01:58:31,920 --> 01:58:35,159
swath of wilderness, too big and too wild for any

1583
01:58:35,199 --> 01:58:39,399
one to trust leaving alone. The acreage stretched far enough

1584
01:58:39,680 --> 01:58:44,399
to swallow towns Hall. Thirteen fire towers covered the zone.

1585
01:58:45,159 --> 01:58:50,039
Thirteen watchers, if you counted us all. They called us rangers,

1586
01:58:50,640 --> 01:58:53,880
though it was more about fire prevention than policing hikers

1587
01:58:54,239 --> 01:58:58,800
or keeping bears away from trailheads. Most rangers keep to

1588
01:58:58,880 --> 01:59:01,560
their towers, but some of us made a habit of

1589
01:59:01,680 --> 01:59:06,439
breaking the rules we decided were pointless. Technically, we weren't

1590
01:59:06,439 --> 01:59:10,039
supposed to leave our posts without clearance, especially during the

1591
01:59:10,159 --> 01:59:14,800
dry season. But out here, miles from the nearest supervisor,

1592
01:59:15,720 --> 01:59:20,680
the rules didn't mean much. Logan worked out in Tower seven,

1593
01:59:21,279 --> 01:59:24,960
which sat a good few miles east. He didn't talk

1594
01:59:25,079 --> 01:59:28,079
much about where he came from. He'd gnored through most

1595
01:59:28,119 --> 01:59:32,159
of the conversation, say something dry under his breath, then

1596
01:59:32,319 --> 01:59:37,279
go quiet again. But he was solid. We didn't hang

1597
01:59:37,359 --> 01:59:41,359
out often, but sometimes we'd meet half way between towers,

1598
01:59:41,840 --> 01:59:46,720
trade supplies, pass a flask, and sit in silence. I

1599
01:59:47,000 --> 01:59:50,920
liked that about him, but not everyone was like Logan.

1600
01:59:52,239 --> 01:59:56,039
Ezekiel worked out of Tower eight, the closest one to me,

1601
01:59:56,760 --> 02:00:01,039
and he'd been there longer than any one. Every range

1602
02:00:01,079 --> 02:00:04,119
I asked gave me a different answer about how long

1603
02:00:04,199 --> 02:00:08,600
it'd been around. Some said five years, others said twenty.

1604
02:00:10,319 --> 02:00:16,760
I knew only this. He never left. Those were the

1605
02:00:16,840 --> 02:00:20,880
only two towers that were within reasonable trekking distance. The

1606
02:00:21,000 --> 02:00:24,399
other towers sat so far away the only interactions I

1607
02:00:24,479 --> 02:00:28,520
ever got with them was through the radio. Winter rotation

1608
02:00:28,840 --> 02:00:32,760
was optional. Most of us rotated out during the snow season,

1609
02:00:33,319 --> 02:00:37,159
took breaks, went home, let the off season crew handle things.

1610
02:00:38,119 --> 02:00:42,039
But Ezekiel stayed through all of it, year after year.

1611
02:00:43,319 --> 02:00:47,079
Supposedly he'd signed some agreement with the agency to maintain

1612
02:00:47,239 --> 02:00:52,800
permanent watch. I'd only spoken to him twice. Both times

1613
02:00:52,800 --> 02:00:56,680
were uncomfortable. The first time I passed him on the

1614
02:00:56,760 --> 02:01:00,600
ridge while heading toward Tower six, I didn't say anything

1615
02:01:00,680 --> 02:01:04,000
to him, and I felt bad about it. But Logan

1616
02:01:04,119 --> 02:01:07,439
had told me so much creepy stuff about Ezekiel that

1617
02:01:07,560 --> 02:01:11,159
I almost didn't even want to speak to him. He

1618
02:01:11,279 --> 02:01:14,800
didn't say anything either until I was nearly past and

1619
02:01:14,960 --> 02:01:17,439
asked me if i'd seen anything strange on my way.

1620
02:01:18,760 --> 02:01:21,880
I said I hadn't, and he just looked away and

1621
02:01:21,960 --> 02:01:26,960
seemed to be focused on something else entirely already. He

1622
02:01:27,119 --> 02:01:30,880
wasn't warm, far from it, and I didn't really like

1623
02:01:30,960 --> 02:01:35,960
spending too much time around him. My first winter in

1624
02:01:36,039 --> 02:01:39,039
the tower wasn't forced on me. I asked for it.

1625
02:01:40,199 --> 02:01:42,840
The agency gave me a pay cut, and in short

1626
02:01:42,880 --> 02:01:45,880
I understood the response time would be a joke if

1627
02:01:45,920 --> 02:01:50,760
anything went wrong, but I signed off anyway. I was

1628
02:01:50,840 --> 02:01:55,439
starting to really like this job. Once Logan cleared out,

1629
02:01:56,039 --> 02:02:00,000
the ridge went dead quiet. His tower light stopped flickering

1630
02:02:00,199 --> 02:02:04,159
across the tree line. In the evenings that left me

1631
02:02:04,960 --> 02:02:10,479
and Ezekiel, I didn't think about it much. I just

1632
02:02:10,600 --> 02:02:15,079
focused on the scenery. The forest itself had no straight edges.

1633
02:02:16,039 --> 02:02:19,720
It was hills and valleys stitched together by frozen creeks.

1634
02:02:20,720 --> 02:02:24,800
Snow blanketed the evergreens early that year. Most of the

1635
02:02:24,880 --> 02:02:28,079
smaller trees had dropped their leaves already, and the taller

1636
02:02:28,119 --> 02:02:32,399
ones stood out black against the white. Wind carved up

1637
02:02:32,439 --> 02:02:35,920
the snow into low spines that looked like frozen wakes,

1638
02:02:36,479 --> 02:02:39,600
as if something had swung through the powder and disappeared.

1639
02:02:41,359 --> 02:02:43,319
I was out near the edge of my patrol line

1640
02:02:44,880 --> 02:02:49,479
when I saw it. The light had shifted into that

1641
02:02:49,680 --> 02:02:54,319
flat winter amber that makes shadows long and deceptive. I'd

1642
02:02:54,359 --> 02:02:57,000
been inspecting some of the brush piles left behind by

1643
02:02:57,000 --> 02:03:01,119
the firebreak cruise. The wind was quiet and the trees

1644
02:03:01,239 --> 02:03:08,159
barely moved. Then a break in the whiteness. It was

1645
02:03:08,279 --> 02:03:11,199
too far off to see clearly, but it looked like

1646
02:03:11,279 --> 02:03:16,600
a large deer limping. I don't mean walking unevenly, I

1647
02:03:16,720 --> 02:03:21,159
mean dragging itself forward and slow, holding burst like one

1648
02:03:21,199 --> 02:03:25,079
of its legs didn't want to follow. My first instinct

1649
02:03:25,279 --> 02:03:29,520
was the staput. We're told not to interfere with wild life.

1650
02:03:30,359 --> 02:03:35,960
If an animal dies, it dies, we aren't rescue. But

1651
02:03:36,239 --> 02:03:38,399
I hadn't been out here long enough to be numb

1652
02:03:38,479 --> 02:03:43,119
about animals suffering. I stood there for a minute, staring

1653
02:03:43,199 --> 02:03:48,840
across the slope. The sky overhead was clear, visibility wasn't bad.

1654
02:03:49,840 --> 02:03:51,760
I could see the shapes of the trees for a

1655
02:03:51,800 --> 02:03:56,319
few hundred yards before they disappeared behind a ridge. The

1656
02:03:56,439 --> 02:03:59,560
animal had crossed into a shallow trench and left the

1657
02:03:59,640 --> 02:04:04,319
trail behind it, a broken red line bleeding into the snow.

1658
02:04:06,000 --> 02:04:08,359
I figured I could follow it for a bit and

1659
02:04:08,439 --> 02:04:11,439
see if I could help it somehow. I wasn't even

1660
02:04:11,520 --> 02:04:14,760
sure how, but I knew it did stare my mind.

1661
02:04:15,960 --> 02:04:18,520
If not, I could at least make sure I didn't

1662
02:04:18,560 --> 02:04:21,079
go down in some ditch where nothing would find it

1663
02:04:21,239 --> 02:04:25,840
until spring. I checked my belt, my radio was on,

1664
02:04:26,720 --> 02:04:30,319
my coat was zipped tight. I still had enough daylight

1665
02:04:30,399 --> 02:04:34,800
to get back if I moved quick. I started walking.

1666
02:04:36,359 --> 02:04:39,840
The snow had only started falling the night before, so

1667
02:04:40,199 --> 02:04:43,720
it was easy to see the fresh marks. But the

1668
02:04:43,880 --> 02:04:48,239
tracks were off. I've seen deer prince plenty of times,

1669
02:04:49,199 --> 02:04:53,279
and these didn't match. They were larger, for one thing,

1670
02:04:53,920 --> 02:04:58,000
and they weren't symmetrical. The spacing between them seemed wrong,

1671
02:04:58,840 --> 02:05:01,159
longer than a deer should have been able to manage

1672
02:05:01,199 --> 02:05:05,359
with a limp. I stopped to examine them several times,

1673
02:05:05,880 --> 02:05:10,039
crouching down to touch the edges. Some of them looked

1674
02:05:10,119 --> 02:05:13,199
melted around the sides, as if the heat had softened

1675
02:05:13,239 --> 02:05:18,399
the snow when they formed. An injury, maybe a birth defect.

1676
02:05:19,920 --> 02:05:24,680
I kept moving forward. The blood trail dipped into a

1677
02:05:24,760 --> 02:05:29,119
shallow drainage basin where the trees thinned out. I followed

1678
02:05:29,159 --> 02:05:32,520
it between clumps of dead brush and saplings half buried

1679
02:05:32,600 --> 02:05:36,560
under snow drifts. The wind began to shift while I walked.

1680
02:05:38,560 --> 02:05:44,199
I felt it before I heard it, sharp, low, funneling

1681
02:05:44,319 --> 02:05:49,039
down the slope, like something alive. The clouds hadn't warned me.

1682
02:05:49,760 --> 02:05:52,800
The sky had stayed open and glassy above the tree tops,

1683
02:05:53,680 --> 02:05:58,399
but within seconds the snow came, driving in sideways, fine

1684
02:05:58,439 --> 02:06:04,680
and fast. The shift was absolute. One moment I could

1685
02:06:04,720 --> 02:06:07,560
still see the trees standing in soft ranks ahead of me.

1686
02:06:08,720 --> 02:06:14,079
Then without build up, they disappeared. Wind slammed through the

1687
02:06:14,159 --> 02:06:17,800
trees and pulled the temperature down so fast my fingers

1688
02:06:17,920 --> 02:06:22,880
ached through the gloves. I stopped walking, turned a slow circle.

1689
02:06:24,079 --> 02:06:28,520
Everything I'd used to orient myself, tree formations, ridge lines,

1690
02:06:28,960 --> 02:06:32,560
even the slope under my feet vanished beneath a layer

1691
02:06:32,600 --> 02:06:37,680
of rushing white. I squinted through the sudden torrent. The

1692
02:06:37,840 --> 02:06:44,640
trail had disappeared, so had everything else. I looked behind me,

1693
02:06:45,760 --> 02:06:49,239
where my bootprints had been only second to go. There

1694
02:06:49,359 --> 02:06:52,960
was nothing. The snow had sealed them up, as if

1695
02:06:52,960 --> 02:06:56,880
I had never walked there at all. My first thought

1696
02:06:57,079 --> 02:07:00,359
was the fine higher ground. I turned around and took

1697
02:07:00,439 --> 02:07:06,520
two steps, then stopped again. I couldn't see anything I recognized.

1698
02:07:07,439 --> 02:07:10,039
Even the sound of my own steps felt swallowed by

1699
02:07:10,079 --> 02:07:13,640
the wind. It wasn't that I couldn't tell which direction

1700
02:07:13,800 --> 02:07:17,079
I had come from. I had no idea which direction

1701
02:07:17,399 --> 02:07:21,479
anything was any more. I reached for my radio and

1702
02:07:21,600 --> 02:07:26,239
keyed it tower nine. To anyone on frequency, come in

1703
02:07:28,079 --> 02:07:33,680
nothing repeat, this is tower nine. Whiteout conditions need triangulation

1704
02:07:33,880 --> 02:07:42,199
or direction. Assist anyone reading this silence. I lowered the radio.

1705
02:07:43,000 --> 02:07:45,800
I tried to listen past the storm to find some

1706
02:07:46,000 --> 02:07:51,079
auditory landmark that might give me a clue. Still, there

1707
02:07:51,159 --> 02:07:54,800
was nothing except wind tearing across the snow and the

1708
02:07:54,920 --> 02:08:01,560
occasional snap of overburdened branches breaking underweight. I started walking again.

1709
02:08:02,319 --> 02:08:05,760
I kept my bearings tight, using small trees as markers,

1710
02:08:06,079 --> 02:08:10,239
and moving slowly, hoping to recognize some formation or shape

1711
02:08:10,560 --> 02:08:14,000
that would confirm I was looping back toward familiar territory.

1712
02:08:15,479 --> 02:08:19,000
I paused again and took a long breath. My breath

1713
02:08:19,119 --> 02:08:22,520
bugged up the inside of my hood. I adjusted the

1714
02:08:22,640 --> 02:08:25,600
draw string, tried to calm the pounding in my chest.

1715
02:08:27,000 --> 02:08:30,600
Getting lost out here wasn't new. Every ranger did it,

1716
02:08:30,640 --> 02:08:36,720
at least once. I kept walking. Minutes passed, I couldn't

1717
02:08:36,760 --> 02:08:41,479
tell how many. Then I saw something on the ground ahead.

1718
02:08:43,840 --> 02:08:46,840
It was the deer or what had looked like one.

1719
02:08:47,920 --> 02:08:51,399
I approached slowly, expecting it to jolt up, the way

1720
02:08:51,479 --> 02:08:55,840
wounded deer sometimes do when you get too close. But

1721
02:08:55,960 --> 02:09:00,680
it stayed still, half buried in the snow rips, rising

1722
02:09:00,800 --> 02:09:03,880
in a sharp curve. One hind leg twisted off to

1723
02:09:03,960 --> 02:09:08,199
the side at an unnatural angle. The closer I got,

1724
02:09:08,840 --> 02:09:13,359
the less it made sense. I stopped ten feet away

1725
02:09:14,680 --> 02:09:20,479
and stared. Its head was all wrong. At first glance,

1726
02:09:20,760 --> 02:09:24,520
it resembled a deer skull, long and narrow, with patches

1727
02:09:24,560 --> 02:09:28,359
of fur frozen stiff across it, but the face and

1728
02:09:28,560 --> 02:09:34,520
lips thin cracked lips stretched back over teeth, almost human.

1729
02:09:35,560 --> 02:09:38,159
Its neck bent upward in a way no animal spine

1730
02:09:38,199 --> 02:09:42,800
should have allowed. Antlers or something like them, jotted out

1731
02:09:42,840 --> 02:09:46,560
in short knobs from either side of its skull, but

1732
02:09:46,680 --> 02:09:51,359
they had branching ends that looked almost sculpted. Its torso

1733
02:09:51,520 --> 02:09:57,279
heaved slow and unsteady, and I realized it was still breathing.

1734
02:09:59,119 --> 02:10:03,479
I took one step back, then another. My boots sank

1735
02:10:03,600 --> 02:10:07,840
into the snow. I tried not to make noise. Its

1736
02:10:07,880 --> 02:10:14,000
eye turned toward me, singular strikingly human, and its body

1737
02:10:14,199 --> 02:10:19,760
convulsed A pause shot forward from beneath its torso, not

1738
02:10:19,880 --> 02:10:24,079
a hoof, not a deer leg A bear's limb, thick

1739
02:10:24,199 --> 02:10:27,920
and matted with fur, punched into the snow and dragged

1740
02:10:28,000 --> 02:10:31,920
the rest of the body forward. As it rose, it

1741
02:10:32,000 --> 02:10:36,079
stood half upright, something between a man and a beast.

1742
02:10:38,199 --> 02:10:44,560
Then it lunged. I dropped my radio and fell sideways

1743
02:10:44,600 --> 02:10:48,560
into the snow. Its claws grazed the sleeve on my jacket,

1744
02:10:49,039 --> 02:10:53,079
tearing the fabric but missing the flesh. I rolled backward

1745
02:10:53,279 --> 02:10:56,800
and kicked at its ribs, but its weight bore down fast.

1746
02:10:58,399 --> 02:11:03,720
It snarled, breath blasted against my neck. The smell made

1747
02:11:03,760 --> 02:11:07,920
me gag. I noticed then a massive bleeding gash on

1748
02:11:08,039 --> 02:11:11,920
its side. Quickly, I grabbed a branch off the ground,

1749
02:11:12,279 --> 02:11:15,600
snapping it from the ice. I drove it into the

1750
02:11:15,680 --> 02:11:21,199
thing's injury. It made a deep choking noise and reeled back,

1751
02:11:21,560 --> 02:11:27,720
landing hard. I scrambled to my feet and ran. I

1752
02:11:27,840 --> 02:11:31,319
pushed through snow drift and tree trunks, branches tearing at

1753
02:11:31,359 --> 02:11:35,720
my clothes, breath heaving through my throat. My legs went

1754
02:11:35,840 --> 02:11:40,279
numb from the cold, but I didn't stop. I ran

1755
02:11:40,479 --> 02:11:43,399
until my lungs burned, and the wind was a wall

1756
02:11:43,479 --> 02:11:47,319
against my chest. I didn't even realize where I was

1757
02:11:47,800 --> 02:11:51,399
until I saw the structure through the white, thin metal

1758
02:11:51,520 --> 02:11:55,479
legs extended upward into the mist, too straight to be natural.

1759
02:11:56,720 --> 02:12:04,840
I recognized the silhouette immediately a tower, Ezekiel's Tower. Somehow

1760
02:12:05,319 --> 02:12:11,279
I had looped west. I didn't waste time. I found

1761
02:12:11,279 --> 02:12:14,800
the staircase and started up, my boots barely gripping the

1762
02:12:14,880 --> 02:12:18,199
ice slicked metal. I knocked when I reached the top.

1763
02:12:19,279 --> 02:12:25,439
No answer. I knocked again, harder, this time nothing. I

1764
02:12:25,560 --> 02:12:30,560
pushed the door open. The warmth hit me first. A

1765
02:12:30,640 --> 02:12:33,920
weak orange glow flickered from an old stove in the corner.

1766
02:12:34,880 --> 02:12:39,439
The windows were covered in thick, mismatched curtains. Blankets and

1767
02:12:39,520 --> 02:12:43,760
furs were piled around the walls. I stepped inside and

1768
02:12:43,920 --> 02:12:48,880
closed the door behind me, my fingers trembling. I didn't

1769
02:12:48,920 --> 02:12:51,840
realize how cold I had been until the heat hid

1770
02:12:51,920 --> 02:12:59,960
my skin. Then I looked around. I had never been

1771
02:13:00,079 --> 02:13:03,840
inside his Equals Tower. I didn't know anyone who had.

1772
02:13:05,159 --> 02:13:07,640
The space was packed with things that didn't belong in

1773
02:13:07,720 --> 02:13:13,000
a lockout. Wall to wall, hooks and shelves cradled with weapons.

1774
02:13:13,880 --> 02:13:17,560
Rifles lined the east wall. Hand guns rested in open crates,

1775
02:13:18,399 --> 02:13:23,000
ornamental carvings marked every one of them. Runs letters I

1776
02:13:23,079 --> 02:13:27,279
couldn't read, lines and circles scratched into the stocks and barrels.

1777
02:13:28,199 --> 02:13:30,520
Several of the bullets were laid out across the table

1778
02:13:30,680 --> 02:13:34,640
under the window, their surfaces glinting like silver or some

1779
02:13:34,800 --> 02:13:39,479
other precious metal. Dream catchers hung in the corners. Animal

1780
02:13:39,560 --> 02:13:43,560
schools rested on ledges, each of the forehead marked with

1781
02:13:43,640 --> 02:13:47,359
the red wax or ink. I backed away from the

1782
02:13:47,439 --> 02:13:50,119
table and sank into a low chair near the stove,

1783
02:13:50,600 --> 02:13:55,720
trying to catch my breath. My chest stached. I leaned forward,

1784
02:13:56,039 --> 02:14:00,319
resting my arms on my knees. Then I heard the

1785
02:14:00,399 --> 02:14:05,800
stairs creaking outside. I immediately thought of that thing. My

1786
02:14:05,920 --> 02:14:08,680
first thought was that it had tracked me down, and

1787
02:14:08,880 --> 02:14:12,840
now I had nowhere to actually go. I raced toward

1788
02:14:12,880 --> 02:14:15,439
the wall for one of Ezekiel's guns. When the door

1789
02:14:15,520 --> 02:14:21,239
opened behind me and Ezekiel stepped inside. His coat was

1790
02:14:21,319 --> 02:14:25,119
dusted in snow, his gloves were off. He shut the

1791
02:14:25,199 --> 02:14:29,960
door and looked over at me with no surprise. I

1792
02:14:30,079 --> 02:14:33,640
looked at him, dumbfounded, my hands resting on one of

1793
02:14:33,640 --> 02:14:40,560
the rifles still attached to the wall. Ah Yah, Ezekiel

1794
02:14:40,760 --> 02:14:44,960
you won't believe me, But you saw it, he asked.

1795
02:14:46,119 --> 02:14:49,359
I opened my mouth trying to explain, but he cut

1796
02:14:49,439 --> 02:14:54,960
me off before I could finish. Was it injured? I nodded.

1797
02:14:56,039 --> 02:15:03,760
Good means the trap worked, he responded, after a brief silence. Well,

1798
02:15:04,359 --> 02:15:08,760
he said, at last, since he already saw it. He

1799
02:15:08,880 --> 02:15:11,520
turned and met my eyes. The corner of his mouth

1800
02:15:11,640 --> 02:15:15,520
twitched in what might have been a grimace. It can't

1801
02:15:15,520 --> 02:15:19,560
be helped now. He walked across the room with the

1802
02:15:19,680 --> 02:15:23,239
slow certainty of a man who knew where every board creaked.

1803
02:15:24,159 --> 02:15:27,359
He moved past the stove, past the table with a bullet,

1804
02:15:27,960 --> 02:15:30,520
and stopped in front of a tall shelf near the corner.

1805
02:15:31,680 --> 02:15:36,239
His hands hovered momentarily, then landed on a thick, water

1806
02:15:36,359 --> 02:15:40,840
warped book, bound in leather and marked in strange faded lettering.

1807
02:15:42,039 --> 02:15:45,640
He pulled it free, thumbed through the pages and found

1808
02:15:45,720 --> 02:15:51,039
what he was looking for. I am sorry, though, he said,

1809
02:15:51,279 --> 02:15:54,479
not looking up. I hadn't let one slip in in

1810
02:15:54,640 --> 02:15:59,960
over a decade. Maybe I am getting old. The page

1811
02:16:00,159 --> 02:16:04,159
just made a dry sound as he turned them. It's smart,

1812
02:16:04,840 --> 02:16:10,560
Azekil muttered, eyes scanning the page, real smart. See some

1813
02:16:10,720 --> 02:16:14,760
people think it's three creatures sewn together. Somethink it's one

1814
02:16:14,840 --> 02:16:19,680
thing splitting apart into three. He turned the book toward me.

1815
02:16:20,439 --> 02:16:23,239
The illustration on the page looked too exact to be

1816
02:16:23,319 --> 02:16:28,840
guess work antlers, human faces, claws from something simian or

1817
02:16:28,920 --> 02:16:34,520
bare like. Its body was sketched mid motion. He looked

1818
02:16:34,559 --> 02:16:39,000
at the page, then back at me. You're lucky he

1819
02:16:39,200 --> 02:16:44,840
was wounded. Would have killed you otherwise. He snapped the

1820
02:16:44,879 --> 02:16:48,600
book shut and slid it under his arm. Then he

1821
02:16:48,719 --> 02:16:52,600
crossed to another shelf. His hand moved quickly, this time

1822
02:16:53,120 --> 02:16:57,680
grabbing a flat, circular object wrapped in cloth. He unwrapped

1823
02:16:57,719 --> 02:17:01,680
it and held it out to me. It looked like

1824
02:17:01,760 --> 02:17:05,680
a mirror, but the surface was darker than glass, more

1825
02:17:05,719 --> 02:17:10,200
reflective than metal. The edges were edgeless cymbals, and the

1826
02:17:10,280 --> 02:17:15,600
reflection it gave back felt delayed. Take it, he said,

1827
02:17:16,840 --> 02:17:22,280
I didn't move. He held it closer. You're coming with me.

1828
02:17:22,959 --> 02:17:25,760
You know where it was last. I need you to

1829
02:17:25,879 --> 02:17:30,879
take me there. I stared at the mirror, then at him.

1830
02:17:32,639 --> 02:17:35,680
You think I want company. I'd rather do this alone.

1831
02:17:36,280 --> 02:17:39,000
One man would have trouble taking it down. Two You

1832
02:17:39,040 --> 02:17:43,120
should make it manageable. He let go of the object.

1833
02:17:44,000 --> 02:17:47,280
I caught it, cradled the weight of it in both hands.

1834
02:17:48,799 --> 02:17:51,399
You're part of this now, whether you want to be

1835
02:17:51,799 --> 02:17:58,000
or not. After that, Ezekiel briefly explained the plan to me.

1836
02:17:59,200 --> 02:18:01,799
I was to be a distraction, since I held its

1837
02:18:01,879 --> 02:18:05,399
scent and it saw me as its prey. I was

1838
02:18:05,479 --> 02:18:08,399
to point the mirror toward it, leaving it frozen just

1839
02:18:08,559 --> 02:18:13,159
long enough for Ezekiel to take it out. Ezekiel put

1840
02:18:13,200 --> 02:18:16,520
his coat back on and grabbed a large tool where

1841
02:18:16,559 --> 02:18:19,639
looked to be a crossbow from the wall and motion

1842
02:18:19,879 --> 02:18:24,479
for me to move in front of him. I obeyed.

1843
02:18:28,280 --> 02:18:32,520
The snow had slowed, though only slightly, by the time

1844
02:18:32,600 --> 02:18:35,760
we set out. The wind still bit through the tree tops,

1845
02:18:36,239 --> 02:18:39,520
and the sky hung low above us, dull and thick,

1846
02:18:40,479 --> 02:18:44,639
but it wasn't a full white out anymore. We moved downhill,

1847
02:18:45,040 --> 02:18:49,200
cutting through what was left of my trail. Ezekiel walked

1848
02:18:49,239 --> 02:18:53,440
with purpose, one hand gripping his crossbow, the other steadying

1849
02:18:53,520 --> 02:18:58,239
himself along exposed trunks and roots. He didn't speak much

1850
02:18:58,719 --> 02:19:01,399
except a nod when we hit terrain he recognized from

1851
02:19:01,440 --> 02:19:06,639
my descriptions. I stayed in front of him, scanning every branch,

1852
02:19:07,319 --> 02:19:11,159
every path of snow that looked uneven. I wasn't sure

1853
02:19:11,200 --> 02:19:13,479
if the thing had kept moving after it attacked me.

1854
02:19:14,760 --> 02:19:18,479
I wasn't even sure it could bleed out. That was

1855
02:19:18,559 --> 02:19:22,559
the problem. I didn't know anything about what it was

1856
02:19:23,159 --> 02:19:26,879
or how we were going to take it out. We

1857
02:19:27,000 --> 02:19:30,760
found the place after thirty minutes of trudging. It wasn't

1858
02:19:30,840 --> 02:19:34,280
far from the tower. I'd run further than I realized

1859
02:19:34,319 --> 02:19:38,040
during the panic. The snow in the clearing was broken

1860
02:19:38,120 --> 02:19:42,840
and stained, dark veins crisscrossing through it in wild spirals.

1861
02:19:44,159 --> 02:19:48,559
Ezekiel moved to the center, crouched down, and studded the ground.

1862
02:19:49,920 --> 02:19:53,639
He shifted the snow, gently brushing away the surface to

1863
02:19:53,760 --> 02:19:58,760
expose the soil beneath. I kept thinking about whether I

1864
02:19:58,840 --> 02:20:01,959
could actually do this, whether I'd freeze if it showed

1865
02:20:02,000 --> 02:20:06,680
up again, whether he'd see it in my face. He

1866
02:20:06,760 --> 02:20:10,840
looked over his shoulder at me, Keep your eyes open.

1867
02:20:14,280 --> 02:20:19,760
It hit us without warning. One second we were standing

1868
02:20:19,840 --> 02:20:24,040
in silence, and the next the trees exploded into motion.

1869
02:20:25,280 --> 02:20:28,680
Snow burst upward as a massive form barreled out from

1870
02:20:28,719 --> 02:20:33,479
the gully to our right. Ezekiel spun, raising his weapon,

1871
02:20:34,280 --> 02:20:37,879
but the thing was faster. It slammed into him before

1872
02:20:37,879 --> 02:20:41,239
he could aim. The crossbow flew from his grip and

1873
02:20:41,399 --> 02:20:47,479
skidded into the trees. Ezekiel hid the ground hard. I

1874
02:20:47,600 --> 02:20:51,159
froze for a moment. The creature loomed over him, its

1875
02:20:51,200 --> 02:20:55,319
shape warping in place where muscle met hide, one shoulder

1876
02:20:55,399 --> 02:20:58,360
twitching as if it had too many limbs packed into

1877
02:20:58,440 --> 02:21:03,840
too little space. Its breathing was aggressive. It was angry

1878
02:21:04,920 --> 02:21:09,440
hiss jaws stretched open as it stared at Ezekiel. Its

1879
02:21:09,479 --> 02:21:13,040
eyes were set wide across his head, mismatched in shape

1880
02:21:13,120 --> 02:21:17,239
and size. Ezekiel tried to reach for something at his belt,

1881
02:21:17,719 --> 02:21:21,440
but the beast slammed its elbow across his chest. I

1882
02:21:21,559 --> 02:21:26,360
heard something crack. I ran toward them and kicked hard

1883
02:21:26,440 --> 02:21:29,920
into the thing's exposed flank. My boot landed near the

1884
02:21:30,000 --> 02:21:34,399
wound i'd seen earlier. The creature shrieked and stumbled sideways.

1885
02:21:35,319 --> 02:21:38,360
I fell back and grabbed Ezekiel by the arm, but

1886
02:21:38,479 --> 02:21:42,040
he was too heavy to move. His legs didn't respond.

1887
02:21:42,959 --> 02:21:47,159
His mouth opened, but no sound came out. His hand

1888
02:21:47,280 --> 02:21:54,799
finally twitched and pointed toward the crossbow. The creature's body

1889
02:21:54,879 --> 02:21:59,879
shifted as it rose, bones stretched, furs, slowed off in clumps,

1890
02:22:00,319 --> 02:22:04,959
revealing muscle underneath that pulsed visibly. It looked at me,

1891
02:22:05,760 --> 02:22:10,440
then had Ezekiel. It growled a low noise that vibrated

1892
02:22:10,520 --> 02:22:15,639
in my chest. Move his Ekil managed the painful shout.

1893
02:22:17,079 --> 02:22:19,680
I backed up, raised the mirror and held it in

1894
02:22:19,760 --> 02:22:23,440
both hands. I had forgotten I still had it until then.

1895
02:22:24,719 --> 02:22:31,559
The creature looked directly into it and stopped moving. Its

1896
02:22:31,600 --> 02:22:36,399
head tilted, its limbs slackened, the snarl faded from its face.

1897
02:22:38,000 --> 02:22:43,559
For a moment, it simply stood there, frozen. I lowered

1898
02:22:43,600 --> 02:22:47,200
the mirror and dove with the crossbow, my hand wrapped

1899
02:22:47,239 --> 02:22:52,079
around the grip, fingers clumsy with adrenaline, I turned back

1900
02:22:52,120 --> 02:22:56,479
toward it and brought the weapon up. I hadn't fired

1901
02:22:56,520 --> 02:23:01,239
one in years. The trigger felt unfamiliar, the bolt was

1902
02:23:01,319 --> 02:23:09,159
already loaded. I aimed, then hesitated. I only had one chance,

1903
02:23:09,520 --> 02:23:14,680
and if I missed, it blinked and the spell broke.

1904
02:23:15,840 --> 02:23:19,959
The creature launched forward again, this time angling toward his Ekiel.

1905
02:23:21,079 --> 02:23:25,600
His hands went up weakly to defend himself. I quickly

1906
02:23:25,680 --> 02:23:30,799
inhaled and pulled the trigger. The bolt sank deep into

1907
02:23:30,840 --> 02:23:35,879
the creature's ribs as it twisted mid motion, it shrieked

1908
02:23:36,559 --> 02:23:39,440
a horrible noise that shifted in pitch half way through,

1909
02:23:39,959 --> 02:23:44,399
as if several voices were laid beneath it. Its body staggered,

1910
02:23:44,680 --> 02:23:48,479
then shimmered. The edges of it began to thin, stretching

1911
02:23:48,520 --> 02:23:55,639
outward like smoke caught in reverse wind. It disappeared. The

1912
02:23:55,760 --> 02:24:01,159
clearing was silent again. I looked over as Egil was

1913
02:24:01,239 --> 02:24:04,680
slumped against the trunk, his coat soaked through with blood.

1914
02:24:06,079 --> 02:24:09,360
He gave a dry, hoarse chuckle and shook his head

1915
02:24:11,559 --> 02:24:16,319
not bad. He coughed. It was at that moment that

1916
02:24:16,440 --> 02:24:19,520
I wondered if e Egel would ever need help again,

1917
02:24:21,040 --> 02:24:33,959
After all, he was getting old. I wasn't a good man.

1918
02:24:34,840 --> 02:24:37,040
I didn't grow up with a wrong crowd or fallen

1919
02:24:37,120 --> 02:24:42,680
with bad influences. I made my choices. When the trial ended,

1920
02:24:43,040 --> 02:24:46,079
the judge said I was the most calculated man he

1921
02:24:46,079 --> 02:24:51,239
had ever sentenced, and granted me life without parole, no visitors,

1922
02:24:51,520 --> 02:24:56,639
no possibility of release. They buried me, and that was

1923
02:24:56,719 --> 02:25:03,840
that until she came along That day. Guards poured me

1924
02:25:03,879 --> 02:25:06,840
out of my cell without a word. Two stayed at

1925
02:25:06,879 --> 02:25:11,120
my sides, two more behind. We passed through corridors where

1926
02:25:11,200 --> 02:25:15,440
walls sweated under fluorescent lights. Doors slid open ahead of

1927
02:25:15,559 --> 02:25:20,479
us after key card scuns. Eventually we stopped at a

1928
02:25:20,559 --> 02:25:24,879
reinforced door. One of the guards stepped forward and unlocked

1929
02:25:24,920 --> 02:25:29,319
it without speaking. Cold air drifted out into the hallway.

1930
02:25:30,840 --> 02:25:34,399
Inside was a table bolted to the floor and two chairs,

1931
02:25:35,280 --> 02:25:40,360
one empty, one occupied. Her eyes were already locked on

1932
02:25:40,440 --> 02:25:44,440
mine before I sat down. She wore a gray suit

1933
02:25:44,559 --> 02:25:48,079
with a faint pin striped pattern, hair pulled tight against

1934
02:25:48,120 --> 02:25:53,200
her head, skin pale but without blemishes. The guards forced

1935
02:25:53,239 --> 02:25:56,600
me into the chair across from her, wrists shackled to

1936
02:25:56,680 --> 02:26:01,319
the ring at the center of the table. She didn't

1937
02:26:01,360 --> 02:26:05,479
introduce herself. Do you want to rot here until your

1938
02:26:05,520 --> 02:26:09,319
skin comes off your bones? She asked, what do you

1939
02:26:09,479 --> 02:26:16,959
want a chance? She sounded studio practiced. I didn't answer.

1940
02:26:18,120 --> 02:26:21,479
She slid a folder across the table. A thick black

1941
02:26:21,520 --> 02:26:26,120
clip held the pages together. I could barely move my arms,

1942
02:26:26,760 --> 02:26:30,920
but she didn't seem concerned with that. There's a sight,

1943
02:26:31,520 --> 02:26:35,360
she said, tapping the folder with her index finger. Her

1944
02:26:35,479 --> 02:26:40,959
cave deepest ever discovered, deeper than anything on record. Her

1945
02:26:41,040 --> 02:26:47,360
first expedition didn't return. She didn't blink. They made several

1946
02:26:47,440 --> 02:26:52,399
kilarmeters down before something killed them. We believe it was biological,

1947
02:26:52,879 --> 02:26:59,120
possibly sentient. She let that sit for a second, then

1948
02:26:59,200 --> 02:27:03,200
flip the fold or open. The first image was an

1949
02:27:03,239 --> 02:27:07,040
aerial shot of a dense mountain range, followed by several

1950
02:27:07,159 --> 02:27:11,600
grainy stills of people in environmental suits carrying gear through

1951
02:27:11,639 --> 02:27:17,040
a jagged tunnel. We considered sending qualified personnel, but the

1952
02:27:17,159 --> 02:27:22,399
risk is too high. We'd rather loose someone replaceable. You're

1953
02:27:22,440 --> 02:27:26,879
a murderer, a terrorist. You're already a dead man. If

1954
02:27:26,920 --> 02:27:31,200
this doesn't work, we'll find another one like you cheaper

1955
02:27:31,280 --> 02:27:37,680
that way. She paused. Then she folded her hands. You

1956
02:27:37,760 --> 02:27:41,280
won't be alone after a short debrief. You'll be taken

1957
02:27:41,319 --> 02:27:44,719
to the cave entrance of three others. You'll be outfitted

1958
02:27:44,760 --> 02:27:49,799
with recording devices, weaponry, and monitoring equipment. There is a

1959
02:27:49,879 --> 02:27:53,680
strong likelihood you will not return. If you survive and

1960
02:27:53,760 --> 02:28:00,760
complete the contract, you walk free. She tapped folder again.

1961
02:28:01,920 --> 02:28:09,760
Clean record. You pick where you go after. My first

1962
02:28:09,840 --> 02:28:14,239
instinct was the laugh. I hadn't tasted outside air in

1963
02:28:14,360 --> 02:28:17,440
over a decade. I hadn't seen a sky without mesh

1964
02:28:17,479 --> 02:28:21,719
across it since sentencing, so I didn't ask where the

1965
02:28:21,799 --> 02:28:25,719
contract involved what they were really looking for, or how

1966
02:28:25,840 --> 02:28:29,639
many had already died trying to find it. It didn't

1967
02:28:29,680 --> 02:28:34,479
matter what I signed. I'd already died once. If this

1968
02:28:34,719 --> 02:28:37,520
got me out, even if it killed me for good,

1969
02:28:38,600 --> 02:28:47,120
I was ahead, fine, I said, strap me in. She

1970
02:28:47,239 --> 02:28:50,280
nodded to someone I couldn't see. I felt the sting

1971
02:28:50,360 --> 02:28:53,760
of a needle in my neck. Cold spread through my spine.

1972
02:28:54,079 --> 02:28:57,639
Before I could ask where I'd be taken, the ceiling

1973
02:28:57,760 --> 02:29:07,440
peeled away from me, then the light, then everything. I

1974
02:29:07,559 --> 02:29:11,239
woke in a bed with clean sheets, white walls, a

1975
02:29:11,319 --> 02:29:14,040
smooth ceiling with a built in glow panel that lit

1976
02:29:14,120 --> 02:29:17,799
the room without a bulb or fixture. Before I could

1977
02:29:17,840 --> 02:29:22,440
sit up properly, a door opened. A man in sterile

1978
02:29:22,520 --> 02:29:27,000
clothes stepped inside, gestured, and stepped back without a word.

1979
02:29:28,399 --> 02:29:32,399
I followed. They took me through a short, carried door

1980
02:29:32,840 --> 02:29:35,879
and into a chamber where the lights were brighter and colder.

1981
02:29:37,079 --> 02:29:42,719
Four chairs faced the screen, Three were already occupied. A

1982
02:29:42,840 --> 02:29:45,399
man with a tag that read Hollis on his shirt

1983
02:29:45,920 --> 02:29:49,559
sat with his legs spread wide, arms tattooed to the wrist,

1984
02:29:50,120 --> 02:29:54,360
jaw unshaven, and a permanent smirk planted across his face.

1985
02:29:56,000 --> 02:30:01,680
He glanced at me and snorted. Drew beside him, bald

1986
02:30:01,959 --> 02:30:07,079
and built, thicker, his hands clasped between his knees. He

1987
02:30:07,159 --> 02:30:10,399
didn't react to me at all. He stared forward with

1988
02:30:10,559 --> 02:30:16,600
dead focus. The third was smaller, shoulders hunched. Nervous energy

1989
02:30:16,799 --> 02:30:21,040
rolled off her in waves. She twitched every few seconds.

1990
02:30:22,200 --> 02:30:26,680
Sometimes her head jerked to one side. Sometimes her knuckles tensed,

1991
02:30:26,840 --> 02:30:31,680
then released. She'd make a strange sound every once in

1992
02:30:31,760 --> 02:30:37,319
a while, and looked involuntary. Nobody said a word. As

1993
02:30:37,399 --> 02:30:41,600
I sat in the last open seat, the lights dimmed

1994
02:30:41,920 --> 02:30:45,639
and the screen blinked on. We were ushered into another

1995
02:30:45,760 --> 02:30:50,040
room after the short presentation ended, some vague footage of

1996
02:30:50,159 --> 02:30:55,920
cave walls and sensitata, nothing identifiable. This one had a

1997
02:30:56,000 --> 02:31:00,399
long table, cold steel surface, and no chairs. A man

1998
02:31:00,520 --> 02:31:03,479
in a black uniform stood at the far end, holding

1999
02:31:03,520 --> 02:31:06,200
a remote in one hand and a tablet in the other.

2000
02:31:08,159 --> 02:31:13,000
As you already know, he sighed, You're going underground. You'll

2001
02:31:13,040 --> 02:31:17,959
be outfitted. You'll be monitored, your vitals, your recordings, every

2002
02:31:18,040 --> 02:31:21,399
word you say will be logged. You'll love one guide.

2003
02:31:22,079 --> 02:31:26,319
Her name is Wren, the girl with the ticks. Presumably

2004
02:31:26,399 --> 02:31:30,520
Wren glanced up but didn't speak. She was part of

2005
02:31:30,600 --> 02:31:34,879
the first mission, he continued. She didn't witness the attack.

2006
02:31:35,520 --> 02:31:38,760
She abandoned a team before it occurred. She was found

2007
02:31:38,840 --> 02:31:44,479
days later at the mountain base. She ran, Hollis said, grinning,

2008
02:31:45,319 --> 02:31:49,399
you're sending us down there with a coward. Wren flinched

2009
02:31:49,559 --> 02:31:53,520
and her shoulders jerked. She tried to hold still, but

2010
02:31:53,600 --> 02:31:57,760
the tension inside her was impossible to miss. The man

2011
02:31:58,120 --> 02:32:03,600
ignored them both. You are explorers. You're being given an opportunity.

2012
02:32:04,479 --> 02:32:08,280
Find out what happened, find out what they discovered, assess

2013
02:32:08,360 --> 02:32:12,200
the biological threat. You will have audio and video documentation

2014
02:32:12,399 --> 02:32:15,399
running at all times. You will not go off plan.

2015
02:32:16,000 --> 02:32:18,920
You will not deviate from the root, she outlines. You

2016
02:32:18,959 --> 02:32:22,799
will not improvise. Do that, and you'll ever shot at.

2017
02:32:22,879 --> 02:32:27,879
Walking out, they loaded us into the back of a

2018
02:32:28,000 --> 02:32:31,799
truck with no windows, no light, no sense of movement

2019
02:32:31,879 --> 02:32:35,239
beyond the vibration of the road. Beneath. Ren and I

2020
02:32:35,440 --> 02:32:38,319
sat across from each other, silent for most of the

2021
02:32:38,399 --> 02:32:45,000
first hour. Her leg bounced nervously. You're right, I asked.

2022
02:32:46,000 --> 02:32:52,159
She blinked hard and nodded, yeah, sorry, it's well, it's not.

2023
02:32:53,639 --> 02:32:57,600
She stopped and forced the head straight. It's hard sometimes

2024
02:32:59,040 --> 02:33:05,719
you were there before. She nodded again. What happened? Well,

2025
02:33:06,639 --> 02:33:11,360
she said, it's silly, but I was scared. I left

2026
02:33:11,440 --> 02:33:15,000
before anything even happened, as you heard. I didn't have

2027
02:33:15,040 --> 02:33:18,440
a reason. I guess I just kind of felt claustrophobic.

2028
02:33:18,559 --> 02:33:22,600
Maybe I don't know. Something about the place spooked me,

2029
02:33:22,760 --> 02:33:26,000
so I ran out of the cave. I'd walked all night.

2030
02:33:28,360 --> 02:33:31,680
I looked at her carefully. And you still don't know

2031
02:33:31,799 --> 02:33:35,479
why you left. I've been trying to figure it out,

2032
02:33:36,200 --> 02:33:39,559
especially after they questioned me a bunch of times. I

2033
02:33:39,680 --> 02:33:45,959
guess I did avoid danger. She seemed sincere. You scared

2034
02:33:45,959 --> 02:33:50,600
of going back in? She perked up suddenly, full of energy.

2035
02:33:51,959 --> 02:33:56,840
Of course, something in there killed my colleagues, and she slowed.

2036
02:33:58,000 --> 02:34:00,959
They told me I breached contract and I was required

2037
02:34:01,000 --> 02:34:07,440
to do this. After a brief pause, why are you here,

2038
02:34:08,120 --> 02:34:13,440
she asked, I mean really, I lit them buildings on fire,

2039
02:34:14,120 --> 02:34:19,360
I said, keeping the other things secret. She didn't look away.

2040
02:34:20,520 --> 02:34:25,239
Do you regret it? I didn't answer her right away.

2041
02:34:26,239 --> 02:34:32,920
I watched her instead, I guess so her eyes flicked

2042
02:34:33,000 --> 02:34:37,360
back toward me, searching for something. Maybe she found it.

2043
02:34:38,840 --> 02:34:41,879
She gave me a small nod, then looked away again.

2044
02:34:43,159 --> 02:34:45,879
When the truck stopped, they kept us inside for another

2045
02:34:46,000 --> 02:34:50,479
twenty minutes. When they finally opened the doors, daylight hit

2046
02:34:50,600 --> 02:34:54,639
me so hard I had to shield my eyes. A

2047
02:34:54,760 --> 02:34:57,680
dozen figures waited near a chain link gate that had

2048
02:34:57,719 --> 02:35:03,440
been waged into a stretch of pale rock. They wore gear, helmets, visors,

2049
02:35:03,479 --> 02:35:07,280
and gloves. We looked at them in disbelief as they

2050
02:35:07,319 --> 02:35:11,120
pointed toward a crate full of weapons. I took a

2051
02:35:11,200 --> 02:35:14,120
short gun and a side arm. Harlis went straight for

2052
02:35:14,200 --> 02:35:17,600
the automatic rifle and smirked when they didn't stop him.

2053
02:35:18,559 --> 02:35:21,200
Drew slung a belt of shells across his shoulders, and

2054
02:35:21,239 --> 02:35:24,680
picked a pump action like it was a toy. He

2055
02:35:24,879 --> 02:35:28,840
really given us guns, Harlis said, shaking his head and

2056
02:35:28,959 --> 02:35:33,040
turning around to face us. They gave the prison crew guns.

2057
02:35:34,799 --> 02:35:38,200
Harllis turned toward Wren, who backed herself against the side

2058
02:35:38,239 --> 02:35:42,200
of the truck. She hadn't taken anything from the crate.

2059
02:35:43,760 --> 02:35:47,120
What about her, he said? Do we even need her?

2060
02:35:47,680 --> 02:35:50,440
What if we take her hostitch? Maybe walk her back out.

2061
02:35:50,840 --> 02:35:55,200
Tell them we want a helicopter or something. He didn't

2062
02:35:55,239 --> 02:35:58,879
sound serious, but he didn't sound like he was joking either.

2063
02:36:00,479 --> 02:36:03,079
One of the mass guards looked at him, and Hollis

2064
02:36:03,159 --> 02:36:09,239
piped down. He looked disappointed. Ah, I guess that wouldn't work,

2065
02:36:09,440 --> 02:36:14,040
would it. A man in a hazard suit gave a

2066
02:36:14,120 --> 02:36:20,239
final briefing. Equipment had already been staged inside ammunition, light,

2067
02:36:20,760 --> 02:36:25,239
nutrition packs, water. There was no communication. Once we entered,

2068
02:36:26,239 --> 02:36:29,920
we would document everything, follow the route, and if we

2069
02:36:30,040 --> 02:36:33,520
tried to exit early, the doors would remain locked until

2070
02:36:33,559 --> 02:36:38,840
the scheduled retrieval time. The cave entrance was tiny, a

2071
02:36:38,920 --> 02:36:42,920
little more than a slitting stone. The walls were uneven,

2072
02:36:43,399 --> 02:36:47,760
jagged in some places, then smooth in others. They were

2073
02:36:47,799 --> 02:36:50,319
wide enough for two of us to walk side by side,

2074
02:36:50,399 --> 02:36:54,360
with space in between. We moved through long tunnels that

2075
02:36:54,520 --> 02:36:59,280
opened into chambers large enough to park aircraft in. Wren

2076
02:36:59,399 --> 02:37:02,280
led the way. She had a tablet secured to a

2077
02:37:02,399 --> 02:37:06,799
vest and a laminated map strapped to a leg. We

2078
02:37:06,920 --> 02:37:09,680
found a flat stretch of tunnel that widened near a

2079
02:37:09,760 --> 02:37:15,399
wall of crossed sediment. Someone had left old markers orange tags,

2080
02:37:15,520 --> 02:37:19,600
half buried under dust. Wren told us this was the

2081
02:37:19,680 --> 02:37:24,079
first stop. We weren't expecting to reach the next landmark

2082
02:37:24,280 --> 02:37:29,360
until morning. We dropped gear, rolled mats and sat down

2083
02:37:29,479 --> 02:37:33,200
in the dirt, drew, leaned against the slab of rock,

2084
02:37:33,639 --> 02:37:39,520
and slept. Almost immediately after a few minutes, Wren approached me.

2085
02:37:40,479 --> 02:37:44,719
She looked hesitant. I don't want to be near them,

2086
02:37:45,399 --> 02:37:49,479
she said, yeah, I know, maybe I'm a getting scared

2087
02:37:49,479 --> 02:37:53,200
for no reason again, But I don't know what if

2088
02:37:53,239 --> 02:37:59,079
they do something, they might I said, whatever, let's just

2089
02:37:59,159 --> 02:38:03,520
stick together, the two of them and the two of us. Sure,

2090
02:38:03,959 --> 02:38:08,479
I nodded. She breathed out through a nose and nodded again.

2091
02:38:09,440 --> 02:38:12,840
Then she lowered her head and mumbled something I didn't catch.

2092
02:38:15,159 --> 02:38:18,440
We all woke up around the same time, and nobody spoke.

2093
02:38:19,319 --> 02:38:24,239
We just started walking again. It was a strange situation.

2094
02:38:25,239 --> 02:38:28,639
We all knew we could potentially die here. Whatever had

2095
02:38:28,719 --> 02:38:31,920
killed those researchers was still down here, and now that

2096
02:38:32,040 --> 02:38:36,040
we were getting closer, that realization was sinking in deeper

2097
02:38:36,239 --> 02:38:42,440
than ever before. A few hours in the cave shifted,

2098
02:38:43,399 --> 02:38:47,000
the walls widened again, and the floor began to level out.

2099
02:38:48,159 --> 02:38:50,879
The slope that had pulled us down from the start eased,

2100
02:38:51,680 --> 02:38:56,239
but the tunnel didn't narrow. It kept expanding in every direction.

2101
02:38:58,520 --> 02:39:02,600
That was the first place saw the trail. It stretched

2102
02:39:02,639 --> 02:39:05,319
across the stone like someone had spilled the vatter silver

2103
02:39:05,680 --> 02:39:09,600
and led it cool. Long lines of dull metal fused

2104
02:39:09,680 --> 02:39:14,719
with the ground, following the cave's natural channels. Some parts

2105
02:39:14,760 --> 02:39:18,200
had pulled into circular patches. Others looked like they had

2106
02:39:18,239 --> 02:39:23,120
been flung out during motion. Thin trails scattered, but clearly

2107
02:39:23,239 --> 02:39:30,840
following something's path. Wren stopped and knelt um. She started

2108
02:39:31,879 --> 02:39:35,639
the original crew. There was a satellite scan if I

2109
02:39:35,799 --> 02:39:38,879
remember correctly, something in this range gave her a turn

2110
02:39:38,959 --> 02:39:42,639
that matched heavy rhodium content. It was a really dense

2111
02:39:42,719 --> 02:39:46,360
and unnatural concentration. It could have been worth a fortune,

2112
02:39:47,079 --> 02:39:49,399
so it's no wonder there are traces of it around.

2113
02:39:51,799 --> 02:39:55,239
We listened briefly. Drew talked about bringing some of it

2114
02:39:55,360 --> 02:39:58,840
back and potentially getting paid for it, but no one

2115
02:39:58,920 --> 02:40:05,360
answered him. We kept walking. More trails appeared. Some ran

2116
02:40:05,399 --> 02:40:08,559
along the walls, and a few looped over natural arches

2117
02:40:08,639 --> 02:40:13,680
over our heads. It was everywhere. It reached the junction

2118
02:40:13,799 --> 02:40:17,000
where the ceiling opened into a chamber almost the size

2119
02:40:17,040 --> 02:40:22,120
of a hangar. The walls clinted. Strips of exposed minerals

2120
02:40:22,200 --> 02:40:25,479
caught the low light. Veins of gold, and something darker

2121
02:40:25,760 --> 02:40:30,159
ran through the rock, like roots frozen in place. That

2122
02:40:30,440 --> 02:40:34,079
was when I heard it. A series of sharp clicks

2123
02:40:34,239 --> 02:40:41,680
echoed behind us. They were fast. I turned. It emerged

2124
02:40:41,680 --> 02:40:44,360
from the bend in the tunnel without warning, moving on

2125
02:40:44,479 --> 02:40:47,799
all fours but rising as it entered the open chamber.

2126
02:40:49,120 --> 02:40:52,879
Its forearms twisted at a sick angle, ending in serrated

2127
02:40:52,879 --> 02:40:58,239
appendages that resembled both talons and surgical blades. Beneath its skin,

2128
02:40:59,000 --> 02:41:02,760
if it could be called that something pulsed in irregular spasms,

2129
02:41:03,639 --> 02:41:07,319
Thick cables of muscle rolled beneath the fused metallic and

2130
02:41:07,479 --> 02:41:10,840
oily surface, as though it had been dipped in molten chrome,

2131
02:41:11,120 --> 02:41:15,360
and left it congeal in uneven patches. Its head was

2132
02:41:15,399 --> 02:41:20,559
horrific elongated, tapering to a point that hovered behind its shoulders.

2133
02:41:21,639 --> 02:41:25,760
The jaw split downward instead of opening wide, unhinging into

2134
02:41:25,879 --> 02:41:29,360
four separate folds, and molten metal leaked out in thin

2135
02:41:29,520 --> 02:41:33,639
lines that hissed against the stone. He raised his head

2136
02:41:33,680 --> 02:41:36,959
and looked around, almost like it was trying to listen.

2137
02:41:38,600 --> 02:41:42,079
We looked at it in the silence, and then Hollis

2138
02:41:42,159 --> 02:41:48,479
lifted his rifle and fired it a full burst tore

2139
02:41:48,559 --> 02:41:52,639
through the cavern. Air shells clattered to the ground. The

2140
02:41:52,760 --> 02:41:56,600
noise was deafening. Drew stepped up behind him and joined in,

2141
02:41:57,159 --> 02:42:02,399
racking around into the chamber with a grin. The creature

2142
02:42:02,600 --> 02:42:07,280
didn't even flinch, but he started moving toward them, seemingly

2143
02:42:07,440 --> 02:42:11,600
now alerted to their presence. It was fast and fluid.

2144
02:42:12,719 --> 02:42:15,559
Hollis got half a breath into another laugh before it

2145
02:42:15,680 --> 02:42:19,920
reached him. One swipe took his legs, another tore through

2146
02:42:19,959 --> 02:42:24,280
his chest. I didn't see what happened next. There was

2147
02:42:24,319 --> 02:42:26,600
in a sound beyond the gun shots and the wet

2148
02:42:26,680 --> 02:42:30,959
slap of contact. Drew kept firing until the gun locked open.

2149
02:42:32,200 --> 02:42:37,520
The creature pivoted toward him, already moving, I turned and ran,

2150
02:42:38,120 --> 02:42:41,520
and that seemed to alert Wren. She moved with me,

2151
02:42:42,000 --> 02:42:45,159
and a body convulsed in both physical and vocal ticks.

2152
02:42:46,319 --> 02:42:52,360
The shots behind us faded, then there was nothing. Wren gasped,

2153
02:42:53,120 --> 02:42:56,760
her mouth opened, but she didn't speak. I pushed the

2154
02:42:56,840 --> 02:43:00,440
harder toward a split in the tunnel ahead. We moved

2155
02:43:00,479 --> 02:43:06,680
fast and low, and I started to realize something. It

2156
02:43:06,840 --> 02:43:11,399
was blind. I slowed, pulling her behind a wall of

2157
02:43:11,559 --> 02:43:15,840
rock where the ground dipped her head shook. She kept

2158
02:43:15,879 --> 02:43:19,719
whispering something beneath, her breath, split up by involuntary yelps

2159
02:43:19,959 --> 02:43:23,479
that were too loud for comfort. You have to stop,

2160
02:43:23,760 --> 02:43:29,000
Do you hear me? She nodded hard, her jaw clenched tight.

2161
02:43:29,840 --> 02:43:32,239
Sweat ran down the side of her face and streaks,

2162
02:43:32,600 --> 02:43:35,559
and her whole body trembled from the effort of holding still.

2163
02:43:36,959 --> 02:43:39,920
It can't see he can only hear us. You have

2164
02:43:40,200 --> 02:43:45,799
to stay quiet. She nodded again, and this time her

2165
02:43:45,840 --> 02:43:52,600
body stilled, not entirely, but enough. We moved without speaking.

2166
02:43:53,559 --> 02:43:58,959
Every step felt calculated, every breath too loud. The tunnels

2167
02:43:59,040 --> 02:44:04,479
narrowed again as we descended behind us. Sounds from the

2168
02:44:04,559 --> 02:44:07,840
creature could still be heard, but it was far enough

2169
02:44:07,879 --> 02:44:11,559
away to give us some hope of survival. Not even

2170
02:44:11,680 --> 02:44:15,040
bullets damaged it, so our best bet was to try

2171
02:44:15,120 --> 02:44:20,399
sneak past it. Somehow, we entered another chamber, smaller than

2172
02:44:20,440 --> 02:44:23,319
the last one, but wide enough of the darkness to

2173
02:44:23,399 --> 02:44:27,680
stretch past the range of our lights. The ceiling bowed downward.

2174
02:44:28,600 --> 02:44:31,520
I stepped around a jagged edge and nearly tripped over

2175
02:44:31,600 --> 02:44:36,040
a body, or what was left of it. It wore

2176
02:44:36,079 --> 02:44:39,479
a suit or what had been a suit. Once the

2177
02:44:39,600 --> 02:44:43,159
fabric had fused, the limbs torn open across the chest

2178
02:44:43,520 --> 02:44:47,040
and peeled back at the shoulder. The skin beneath had

2179
02:44:47,120 --> 02:44:52,399
dried into something gray, stiff, and hollow. I counted three

2180
02:44:52,520 --> 02:44:57,120
more nearby. Ran knelt slowly next to one of the bodies.

2181
02:44:58,959 --> 02:45:03,159
I knew her. She whispered, but there was no time

2182
02:45:03,239 --> 02:45:07,319
for reminiscing or anything of the sort. I tapped on

2183
02:45:07,440 --> 02:45:12,120
the shoulder and gestured for her to move. The tunnel

2184
02:45:12,200 --> 02:45:15,559
dropped hard. After that, we slid down a slope that

2185
02:45:15,719 --> 02:45:20,079
forced us onto our hands, boots scraping loose rock. The

2186
02:45:20,159 --> 02:45:24,159
air was changing again, hot, an now not from the strain.

2187
02:45:25,000 --> 02:45:28,719
It hit my face before we saw the sauce. Then

2188
02:45:28,799 --> 02:45:32,440
we rounded a bend and the floor dropped out into

2189
02:45:32,520 --> 02:45:37,760
a massive chasm. Rehn and I stared in disbelief as

2190
02:45:37,799 --> 02:45:41,079
the lake stretched out in front of us, smooth as glass,

2191
02:45:42,719 --> 02:45:48,520
not one made of water, but rather molten metal, gold, silver, blue,

2192
02:45:49,200 --> 02:45:53,440
all bleeding into each other in an endless loop. Heat

2193
02:45:53,559 --> 02:45:56,719
poured from the surface. Sweat ran down my back in

2194
02:45:56,840 --> 02:46:01,959
slow waves. My hands felt down beside my gloves. I

2195
02:46:02,120 --> 02:46:05,879
thought about how this was possible. Surely the heat from

2196
02:46:05,920 --> 02:46:08,399
the molten metal itself would have killed us by now,

2197
02:46:09,719 --> 02:46:13,600
but my attempts at rationalization were interrupted by a clicking

2198
02:46:13,719 --> 02:46:17,559
sound behind us and a realization that we had just

2199
02:46:17,760 --> 02:46:21,639
reached a dead end. We moved to the side and

2200
02:46:21,719 --> 02:46:24,440
took cover behind a jagged ridge of stone at the

2201
02:46:24,520 --> 02:46:28,239
lake's edge. It was a match, enough to break the

2202
02:46:28,319 --> 02:46:33,079
line of sight, maybe enough to muffle sound. Ren's body

2203
02:46:33,200 --> 02:46:36,239
convulsed and she put both hands over her mouth butt.

2204
02:46:37,879 --> 02:46:44,959
If she made a single sound, we'd die. I could

2205
02:46:45,000 --> 02:46:48,959
feel the creature approaching. The air shifted as it entered

2206
02:46:48,959 --> 02:46:53,559
the chamber. She reached for me. Her fingers closed around

2207
02:46:53,600 --> 02:47:01,079
my arm, trembling, horizonment mine. She knew. I looked at her.

2208
02:47:02,360 --> 02:47:06,200
I didn't say anything. There wasn't time. Even a whisper

2209
02:47:06,280 --> 02:47:12,440
could have ended it. She mouthed something. I raised the shotgun.

2210
02:47:14,319 --> 02:47:19,360
Her head shook, small and sharp. Her lips trembled, but

2211
02:47:19,520 --> 02:47:24,000
she didn't speak. Her hand tightened around my arm. I

2212
02:47:24,079 --> 02:47:27,719
felt her finger nails through the fabric. She tried to

2213
02:47:27,760 --> 02:47:33,200
pull back. Her mouth opened, no sound came out. Her

2214
02:47:33,280 --> 02:47:40,920
eyes screamed. I fired, Her head snapped sideways, gone before

2215
02:47:40,959 --> 02:47:44,239
the rest of her had time to fall. Blood hit

2216
02:47:44,319 --> 02:47:47,399
the rock behind us in a wet splash. Her body

2217
02:47:47,559 --> 02:47:53,200
collapsed at my feet. The creature sprung into motion. I

2218
02:47:53,280 --> 02:47:56,399
could hear it. It stood on top of the rock

2219
02:47:56,479 --> 02:48:00,840
I was hiding and slowly dropped itself down. His tail

2220
02:48:00,959 --> 02:48:03,920
ran right past my arm, and it seemed to inspect

2221
02:48:04,000 --> 02:48:08,200
Wren's body. It lifted her up by the torso and

2222
02:48:08,399 --> 02:48:12,719
walked out of view. I could hear the liquid sloshing.

2223
02:48:14,000 --> 02:48:17,879
Curiosity got the better of me. I peeked around the

2224
02:48:17,959 --> 02:48:21,399
corner to see the monster slowly walking into the lake

2225
02:48:21,479 --> 02:48:26,399
of metal, Wren's body in tow The surface took both

2226
02:48:26,440 --> 02:48:30,440
of them, metal folding upward to embrace its body as

2227
02:48:30,479 --> 02:48:36,360
it descended into the glowing pool. Then it was gone.

2228
02:48:37,879 --> 02:48:44,040
The lake smoothed over again, silent still, as if nothing

2229
02:48:44,120 --> 02:48:49,399
had ever broken its surface. I didn't know how long

2230
02:48:49,440 --> 02:48:52,760
it would stay submerged, but I wasn't going to give

2231
02:48:52,799 --> 02:48:58,760
it time to come back. I stood and ran. I

2232
02:48:58,879 --> 02:49:02,000
followed the same path taken down or close to it.

2233
02:49:02,959 --> 02:49:05,319
I kept one hand on the rock to guide my turns.

2234
02:49:06,399 --> 02:49:10,639
Everything looked different on the way up. Eventually I reached

2235
02:49:10,680 --> 02:49:13,879
the chamber where Drew had fallen. His body was bent

2236
02:49:13,959 --> 02:49:17,520
in half across a flat boulder, split from the ribs down.

2237
02:49:18,600 --> 02:49:22,079
I recognized the boots before I saw the rest. Hollis

2238
02:49:22,200 --> 02:49:25,079
lay a few feet away, or at least most of

2239
02:49:25,120 --> 02:49:28,680
them did. His rifle was still in one hand, his

2240
02:49:28,799 --> 02:49:34,559
other hand was missing. I kept moving. By the time

2241
02:49:34,639 --> 02:49:37,280
I saw the faint blue glow of the reinforced entrance,

2242
02:49:37,959 --> 02:49:41,840
I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Two guards stood at

2243
02:49:41,879 --> 02:49:46,159
the threshold. The helmets reflected my face as I stumbled forward.

2244
02:49:47,159 --> 02:49:50,159
Neither of them moved until I crossed the final threshold

2245
02:49:50,280 --> 02:49:56,000
and fell to my knees. I didn't speak. They didn't either.

2246
02:49:57,799 --> 02:50:00,200
One of them stepped forward and removed the shotgun from

2247
02:50:00,239 --> 02:50:03,879
my back. The other one retrieved the body cam. They

2248
02:50:03,959 --> 02:50:06,680
helped me to my feet and led me into transport.

2249
02:50:08,760 --> 02:50:12,040
A little while later, she sat across from me again,

2250
02:50:12,200 --> 02:50:17,520
in the same suit. We reviewed your footage. She said,

2251
02:50:18,559 --> 02:50:24,639
your documentation exceeded expectations. She flipped through a few pages.

2252
02:50:25,920 --> 02:50:31,799
What happened to Wren was unfortunate. She closed the folder

2253
02:50:31,920 --> 02:50:36,879
and pushed it aside. You've done your part, she gestured

2254
02:50:36,920 --> 02:50:40,600
toward the door. The hallway stretched in front of me,

2255
02:50:41,319 --> 02:50:45,319
too bright to focus on a man in black uniform

2256
02:50:45,440 --> 02:50:49,079
walked me through two check points, then into another chamber.

2257
02:50:50,319 --> 02:50:54,719
He handed me a small envelope. Inside were travel documents,

2258
02:50:55,079 --> 02:50:58,719
a debit card, and a folded sheet with my new credentials.

2259
02:51:00,079 --> 02:51:06,079
I was escorted outside, and just like that I was alone.

2260
02:51:08,040 --> 02:51:12,360
I walked until the facility shrank behind me, nothing more

2261
02:51:12,479 --> 02:51:17,719
than a shape at the edge of stone. I was free.

2262
02:51:27,399 --> 02:51:30,920
We buried our little girl, Elsie in the orchard, within

2263
02:51:31,000 --> 02:51:33,360
the rows of pear trees. She used to run between

2264
02:51:34,399 --> 02:51:37,559
to mark the spot we planted a young sapling that

2265
02:51:37,680 --> 02:51:41,000
still had a few years left to bear fruit. She

2266
02:51:41,159 --> 02:51:44,760
loved pears more than any child I'd ever met. She'd

2267
02:51:44,799 --> 02:51:47,399
eat them, warm and mushy from the branch like it

2268
02:51:47,479 --> 02:51:51,879
was the best thing she'd ever tasted. During harvest, she'd

2269
02:51:51,920 --> 02:51:55,120
march around to the basket half a size, pointing at

2270
02:51:55,159 --> 02:51:58,840
which ones were the good ones, like a tiny dictator.

2271
02:52:00,120 --> 02:52:04,559
AH little help her. The morning it happened, she'd been

2272
02:52:04,639 --> 02:52:09,440
headed outside to play, the same as always. I remember

2273
02:52:09,479 --> 02:52:13,360
the screen door creaked open, then shut, and I heard

2274
02:52:13,440 --> 02:52:18,159
her humming to herself, and then the quiet stretched too long.

2275
02:52:19,680 --> 02:52:23,440
By lunch time, we couldn't find her, not in the yard,

2276
02:52:23,760 --> 02:52:27,479
not in the house, Marissa checked the barn. I checked

2277
02:52:27,520 --> 02:52:30,000
the orchards and yelled the name until my throat hurt.

2278
02:52:31,479 --> 02:52:35,559
And then I saw the shoe by the pond, sideways

2279
02:52:35,639 --> 02:52:40,920
in the mud. Everything after that here's a blur. But

2280
02:52:41,079 --> 02:52:45,479
that moment, the shoe, that's the part I still see

2281
02:52:45,879 --> 02:52:50,680
when I close my eyes. Marissa didn't talk for a while.

2282
02:52:51,639 --> 02:52:53,639
At night, she'd curl up on her side of the

2283
02:52:53,719 --> 02:52:57,959
bed with Elsie's pajama shirt clutched to her chest. I

2284
02:52:58,079 --> 02:53:02,639
lay beside her every night, helpless. I'd hold her hand

2285
02:53:02,760 --> 02:53:05,159
or rub her back while my own chest felt like

2286
02:53:05,239 --> 02:53:09,399
it was caving in. Her sobs would start quietly, like

2287
02:53:09,520 --> 02:53:11,600
she was trying to hold them in for my sake,

2288
02:53:12,680 --> 02:53:16,200
and then they'd break loose, spilling out of her like

2289
02:53:16,280 --> 02:53:20,200
a flood, and I'd just lay there while my throat

2290
02:53:20,280 --> 02:53:24,440
burned with the things I couldn't say. When it was

2291
02:53:24,520 --> 02:53:28,360
over and she'd gone still again, I'd press my lips

2292
02:53:28,399 --> 02:53:31,799
to her forehead and whisper something dumb and small, like

2293
02:53:33,000 --> 02:53:38,600
it's okay, I've got you. She never answered, but she

2294
02:53:38,719 --> 02:53:42,760
always reached for me. One night, I brought her a

2295
02:53:42,840 --> 02:53:47,000
mug of camomile and sat beside her. I silently watched

2296
02:53:47,040 --> 02:53:49,840
as she took the mug and held it between her palms.

2297
02:53:51,360 --> 02:53:54,520
She loved how you peeled them for her, Marsa said,

2298
02:53:55,200 --> 02:53:57,319
Even when I taught her how to do it herself,

2299
02:53:58,040 --> 02:54:01,719
she still brought them to you. She liked the way

2300
02:54:01,760 --> 02:54:04,959
you sang while you cooked, I said, even when you

2301
02:54:05,040 --> 02:54:09,639
were off key, especially then. She looked at me then,

2302
02:54:10,360 --> 02:54:14,520
and something in her face softened. I reached over and

2303
02:54:14,639 --> 02:54:17,719
took the piece of her hair behind her ear. She

2304
02:54:17,920 --> 02:54:24,280
leaned into my hand. I miss her, she whispered, me too,

2305
02:54:24,959 --> 02:54:31,559
I said, everywhere. She nodded. We sat like that for

2306
02:54:31,680 --> 02:54:36,079
a long time, her fingers intertwined with mine, the tea

2307
02:54:36,159 --> 02:54:41,079
forgotten and going cold on the nightstand. That was the

2308
02:54:41,239 --> 02:54:47,079
night we started talking again. Although things were getting better,

2309
02:54:47,760 --> 02:54:51,399
the bills were still there, even though we were starting

2310
02:54:51,440 --> 02:54:54,600
to come back to ourselves. The money was going faster

2311
02:54:54,760 --> 02:54:59,000
than ever. We saved what we could by burying Elsie ourselves,

2312
02:54:59,639 --> 02:55:02,879
but the tractor needed a belt, the west fence sagged,

2313
02:55:03,239 --> 02:55:06,120
and our pump trucks sat dry because fue will cost

2314
02:55:06,200 --> 02:55:11,440
more than what we had. But then Graftco knocked on

2315
02:55:11,559 --> 02:55:16,479
our door. The man they sent out was named doctor Levin.

2316
02:55:17,479 --> 02:55:19,760
He said, they found us through a regional yield audit

2317
02:55:20,040 --> 02:55:23,479
and flagged our land as having low potential with high

2318
02:55:23,600 --> 02:55:27,680
legacy viability. That's the kind of language you only hear

2319
02:55:27,760 --> 02:55:32,280
from people who've never swept through the harvest. He explained.

2320
02:55:32,399 --> 02:55:36,600
They'd fit our orchard with experimental grafting tech, some kind

2321
02:55:36,639 --> 02:55:40,719
of bioengineered rootstock that would result in triple yield and

2322
02:55:40,840 --> 02:55:45,079
bring the trees back stronger than ever. Mercer asked him

2323
02:55:45,159 --> 02:55:49,280
if it was safe. He said, safer than what you're

2324
02:55:49,360 --> 02:55:53,479
doing now. Then he told us they'd sponsor the whole

2325
02:55:53,559 --> 02:55:57,319
thing and cover installation and materials, and even throw a

2326
02:55:57,360 --> 02:56:04,200
stipend for our time. Any condition was access. They'd need

2327
02:56:04,280 --> 02:56:10,840
to monitor everything, growth rates, soil conditions, fruit development. It

2328
02:56:11,000 --> 02:56:14,200
sounded too good to be real, so we took a

2329
02:56:14,280 --> 02:56:16,799
few days to think about what we were signing up for.

2330
02:56:18,280 --> 02:56:21,399
If it failed, or if the tech damaged the trees,

2331
02:56:21,760 --> 02:56:25,399
stunted the orchard, or left us worse than before, we

2332
02:56:25,479 --> 02:56:29,479
couldn't afford to recover from that. But then the stip

2333
02:56:29,600 --> 02:56:34,040
end hit the account, just the advanced portion. It was

2334
02:56:34,159 --> 02:56:39,799
enough to buy fuel and fix the tractor, so we accepted.

2335
02:56:41,600 --> 02:56:45,239
The installation took a weekend, a crew came with crate

2336
02:56:45,319 --> 02:56:48,959
of tubing, sleek little graph notes like plugs for a machine,

2337
02:56:49,399 --> 02:56:53,000
and boxes labeled with long coats and the graph Co logo.

2338
02:56:54,159 --> 02:56:59,559
They moved quickly and were polite and a little too quiet, Marisa.

2339
02:57:01,200 --> 02:57:08,159
They declined. By Monday, the orchard was different. The soil

2340
02:57:08,280 --> 02:57:12,520
had this strange, clean smell, like antiseptic. There were metal

2341
02:57:12,600 --> 02:57:15,559
caps at the base of each tree, and thin wires

2342
02:57:15,680 --> 02:57:19,639
ran under the dirt. Elsie's tree got the same treatment

2343
02:57:19,719 --> 02:57:25,280
as the rest. I didn't like it, but within days

2344
02:57:25,600 --> 02:57:30,920
the changes started. Buds opened, early, leaves spread wide and fast.

2345
02:57:32,360 --> 02:57:35,799
It was a miracle. The orchard looked fuller than it

2346
02:57:35,920 --> 02:57:40,479
had any right to, and then somehow the fruit came

2347
02:57:41,200 --> 02:57:46,120
way ahead of schedule. Elsie's tree bloomed with the rest.

2348
02:57:47,440 --> 02:57:50,879
That morning, I stared at a single bulb hanging off

2349
02:57:50,959 --> 02:57:57,559
one thin branch, plump green and tiny. Marissa crouched beside it,

2350
02:57:57,959 --> 02:58:03,959
eyebrows pinched. That's not right, she said, it's too early.

2351
02:58:04,600 --> 02:58:08,159
I said, way too early. What could they have done

2352
02:58:08,200 --> 02:58:12,000
to speed it up this much? We kept her eye

2353
02:58:12,079 --> 02:58:14,920
on the tiny bulb, expecting it to fall off ull

2354
02:58:15,079 --> 02:58:20,600
rot like immature fruit does. But it didn't. It just

2355
02:58:20,959 --> 02:58:27,760
kept growing. In week one, the single fruit swelled faster

2356
02:58:27,879 --> 02:58:31,639
than anything else in the orchard. It looked smooth and full,

2357
02:58:32,120 --> 02:58:34,479
like it had never struggled for sunlight a day in

2358
02:58:34,559 --> 02:58:39,879
its life. Marissa kept returning to it, lingering longer each time,

2359
02:58:40,959 --> 02:58:43,840
her brow furrowed, like she was searching for something familiar

2360
02:58:44,000 --> 02:58:50,600
in its skin. It's round, she said, finally, frowning a

2361
02:58:50,680 --> 02:58:56,920
little like baby cheeks. In week two, she called me

2362
02:58:57,040 --> 02:59:01,079
over before I'd even set down my coffee. The fruit

2363
02:59:01,520 --> 02:59:05,559
had grown bigger, and what started as a bulb was stretching.

2364
02:59:06,719 --> 02:59:09,079
There was a soft indent where her mouth might form.

2365
02:59:09,879 --> 02:59:12,719
At the very top, the skin curled into a little

2366
02:59:12,799 --> 02:59:15,920
twist of green that looked oddly like a cow lick.

2367
02:59:17,120 --> 02:59:20,040
Marissa ran her finger gently across the curve of the fruit,

2368
02:59:20,399 --> 02:59:22,799
down to what appeared to be a neck that had

2369
02:59:22,840 --> 02:59:28,159
begun to form, and beneath it a roundness that hinted

2370
02:59:28,239 --> 02:59:31,719
her shoulders. There was a slope to the body now,

2371
02:59:32,479 --> 02:59:35,680
the faintest rise of arms pressed close to her chest.

2372
02:59:37,639 --> 02:59:41,159
She always had that little swirl and her temple, Marissa

2373
02:59:41,239 --> 02:59:45,879
said quietly. I used to smooth it down every morning, Remember,

2374
02:59:48,399 --> 02:59:53,120
I did. I remembered how every morning, without fail, I'd

2375
02:59:53,159 --> 02:59:56,959
hold Elsie still and Marissa would smooth that stubborn swirl

2376
02:59:57,079 --> 03:00:01,559
back in place with a wet thumb. I nodded, eyes

2377
03:00:01,639 --> 03:00:07,639
still on the fruit. Yeah, I said softly, you'd smooth it,

2378
03:00:08,079 --> 03:00:11,840
and she'd mess it up five minutes later. But it's

2379
03:00:12,040 --> 03:00:18,840
just a coincidence. By week three, the fruit had a

2380
03:00:18,959 --> 03:00:24,360
distinct face, and there was no denying it. The rest

2381
03:00:24,440 --> 03:00:27,840
of the shape had filled out too. Her legs were there, now,

2382
03:00:28,399 --> 03:00:31,639
curled up beneath her in a fetal position, the toes

2383
03:00:31,760 --> 03:00:35,399
so delicately formed they looked like they'd twitch any second.

2384
03:00:36,360 --> 03:00:40,680
And the whole thing hung there, still and eerily peaceful,

2385
03:00:41,639 --> 03:00:46,239
like she was just asleep. Everything inside me turned heavy.

2386
03:00:48,319 --> 03:00:52,479
I looked at Marissa, hoping for some shared confusion, but

2387
03:00:52,639 --> 03:00:56,639
her eyes were fixed, unblinking as she studied the fruit

2388
03:00:57,000 --> 03:00:59,520
like it might wake up if she waited long enough.

2389
03:01:01,719 --> 03:01:05,879
That's her, she said, I don't care if it's green.

2390
03:01:06,799 --> 03:01:12,600
That's our girl. She stepped closer, fingers brushing against the

2391
03:01:12,719 --> 03:01:17,680
chubby cheeks. I remember when she was this little, feels

2392
03:01:17,719 --> 03:01:22,840
like it was just yesterday, And for a second, standing

2393
03:01:22,920 --> 03:01:30,200
there beside her, I almost believed it too. That night,

2394
03:01:30,639 --> 03:01:33,639
she didn't come in for dinner. I found her in

2395
03:01:33,719 --> 03:01:37,479
the dark, sitting under the tree, cradling the fruit in

2396
03:01:37,600 --> 03:01:42,360
both arms like a newborn, her body curved around it protectively,

2397
03:01:43,000 --> 03:01:48,159
swaying just slightly, murmuring lullabies. She rocked it with the

2398
03:01:48,239 --> 03:01:51,440
same rhythm she used to rock Elsie when she was colocky,

2399
03:01:52,200 --> 03:01:54,799
thumb brushing over the curve of the cheek, like she

2400
03:01:54,959 --> 03:01:59,879
was soothing a real child back to sleep. From then on,

2401
03:02:00,760 --> 03:02:04,760
Marissa barely left the orchard. I'd find her under the

2402
03:02:04,799 --> 03:02:07,520
tree with a blanket draped over a lap and a

2403
03:02:07,600 --> 03:02:12,440
book open in her hands. She looked alive again, but

2404
03:02:12,639 --> 03:02:16,719
something about the fruit didn't feel right. I wanted to

2405
03:02:16,799 --> 03:02:19,440
tell her to slow down and that it wasn't normal,

2406
03:02:20,559 --> 03:02:25,079
but the words caught in my throat every time, so

2407
03:02:25,200 --> 03:02:29,159
I kept quiet. I watched as she treated the fruit

2408
03:02:29,239 --> 03:02:33,559
like Elsie had returned to her. She'd became content and

2409
03:02:33,680 --> 03:02:38,120
sleep without crying herself to sleep. Sometimes she'd rest her

2410
03:02:38,120 --> 03:02:41,200
head on my shoulder like she used to curl into me.

2411
03:02:42,159 --> 03:02:45,319
She'd squeeze my hand under the covers and murmur good

2412
03:02:45,440 --> 03:02:49,440
night before drifting off. There are even mornings where she'd

2413
03:02:49,520 --> 03:02:52,239
lean over and kissed my cheek before getting up to

2414
03:02:52,360 --> 03:02:55,559
check the fruit. Her softness in her eyes I thought

2415
03:02:55,600 --> 03:03:00,600
I'd never see again. For a while, it felt like

2416
03:03:00,760 --> 03:03:05,879
maybe the fruit wasn't so bad. Then Grafco called to

2417
03:03:06,000 --> 03:03:10,399
schedule a check in. Marissa's hands shook when she hung

2418
03:03:10,479 --> 03:03:13,360
up the phone. I knew something was wrong when she

2419
03:03:13,520 --> 03:03:16,840
silently walked out to the orchard and sat under the tree.

2420
03:03:17,200 --> 03:03:20,360
While she was standing guard. I found her pacing in

2421
03:03:20,440 --> 03:03:23,319
the kitchen at three a m. Whispering to herself and

2422
03:03:23,440 --> 03:03:29,040
swinging shears. They'll see her, she said, they'll take her.

2423
03:03:29,360 --> 03:03:32,879
They'll say it an anomaly and cut her down. I

2424
03:03:32,959 --> 03:03:35,920
stepped toward her gently, shook the shears from her hand,

2425
03:03:36,000 --> 03:03:43,040
and said, hey, look at me. She didn't, Marissa, I

2426
03:03:43,120 --> 03:03:47,000
said again, softer this time. It's just the check in.

2427
03:03:47,520 --> 03:03:52,399
They won't take anything. We're not doing anything wrong. When

2428
03:03:52,440 --> 03:03:55,319
she finally looked at me, I saw the fear on

2429
03:03:55,440 --> 03:04:00,239
her face. You don't know that they'll see her, they'll

2430
03:04:00,280 --> 03:04:04,520
cut her down. Paul I held her face in both hands.

2431
03:04:05,520 --> 03:04:10,319
I could feel her trembling. We'll protect her, we'll protect

2432
03:04:10,399 --> 03:04:15,840
each other. You don't have to do this. Alone. I

2433
03:04:15,959 --> 03:04:18,760
didn't want to lose this happy version of her, so

2434
03:04:18,920 --> 03:04:21,479
I let go of her slowly and handed her back

2435
03:04:21,559 --> 03:04:26,000
the shears. If it'll make you feel better, I said,

2436
03:04:26,840 --> 03:04:31,239
then I'll do it. She blinked hard, wiped her eyes,

2437
03:04:31,600 --> 03:04:35,479
and walked out the door without another word. I followed

2438
03:04:35,520 --> 03:04:37,840
and watched as she clipped the fruit from the branch.

2439
03:04:38,840 --> 03:04:42,360
Her hands caught it gently, like she was carrying something precious.

2440
03:04:43,360 --> 03:04:46,280
She cradled it close to her chest and pulled out

2441
03:04:46,280 --> 03:04:51,280
a faded yellow cloth with tiny embroidered ducts. It was

2442
03:04:51,319 --> 03:04:54,440
one of Elsie's old muslins, and she swaddled the fruit

2443
03:04:54,520 --> 03:05:00,479
with it. As she wrapped it tight, she murmured, they're okay,

2444
03:05:00,600 --> 03:05:03,959
now we've got you. No one's going to take you

2445
03:05:04,000 --> 03:05:09,920
away this time, I promise. I followed her inside and

2446
03:05:10,040 --> 03:05:13,200
watched her set it gently on the counter, still wrapped

2447
03:05:13,239 --> 03:05:20,520
in the muslin. Her hands hovered. Something's wrong, she said,

2448
03:05:21,000 --> 03:05:26,040
voice tight. There was a dark spot blooming through the fabric.

2449
03:05:27,000 --> 03:05:31,000
Marissa gasped and fumbled to unwrap it. A cloth clung

2450
03:05:31,120 --> 03:05:33,159
to the skin like it didn't want to let go,

2451
03:05:33,799 --> 03:05:37,959
and released with a sickening, tearing noise. Marissa let out

2452
03:05:37,959 --> 03:05:43,239
a sharp breath and staggered back. It was rotting fast.

2453
03:05:44,559 --> 03:05:47,319
The green skin had darkened and peeled back in places

2454
03:05:47,760 --> 03:05:51,680
to reveal something underneath that looked like flesh, pulp and

2455
03:05:51,840 --> 03:05:56,559
muscle twisted together, tiny teeth budding where the mouth had been.

2456
03:05:57,760 --> 03:06:02,559
One eye collapsed in on itself, like it deflated. Marisa

2457
03:06:02,680 --> 03:06:05,959
let out her hard sob park gag and backed into

2458
03:06:06,040 --> 03:06:11,040
the corner. I didn't know, she whispered. I didn't mean

2459
03:06:11,120 --> 03:06:16,680
to hurt her. Marisa started full body sobbing. She dropped

2460
03:06:16,680 --> 03:06:19,559
to the floor beside the counter, her back pressed to

2461
03:06:19,680 --> 03:06:25,040
the cabinet, fists against her temples. I killed her, she

2462
03:06:25,200 --> 03:06:30,920
choked out. I killed her again. I dropped beside her

2463
03:06:31,200 --> 03:06:33,479
and wrapped my arms around her while she fought me,

2464
03:06:34,040 --> 03:06:38,840
crying and pushing and begging, no, no, please. She was

2465
03:06:38,920 --> 03:06:42,879
getting better, she was almost done. You were just trying

2466
03:06:42,959 --> 03:06:47,040
to protect her, I said, my voice shaking. You did

2467
03:06:47,159 --> 03:06:50,000
what any mother would do. You loved her so much

2468
03:06:50,040 --> 03:06:56,040
it hurts. That's not wrong, Mirsa. She clawed at her sleeves,

2469
03:06:56,360 --> 03:06:59,120
at her throat, like the grief was something she could

2470
03:06:59,200 --> 03:07:02,399
tear out of her skin. Again, the whole body shook.

2471
03:07:03,639 --> 03:07:08,520
I just wanted to keep her safe. She gasped. I

2472
03:07:08,680 --> 03:07:15,479
held her tighter. I know, I whispered, I know. I

2473
03:07:15,639 --> 03:07:18,760
stayed with her there until her sobs turned to silence.

2474
03:07:19,639 --> 03:07:21,879
Then I helped her to her feet and walked to

2475
03:07:21,959 --> 03:07:26,239
her bed. Once she was settled, I lifted the muslin

2476
03:07:26,319 --> 03:07:33,440
gently from the counter and took it outside. I felt

2477
03:07:33,479 --> 03:07:36,440
wrong to throw the fruit away because of how much

2478
03:07:36,520 --> 03:07:40,840
it looked like Elsie. It was strange. It felt like

2479
03:07:40,959 --> 03:07:44,479
she was back. She almost looked alive in Marissa's arms.

2480
03:07:45,680 --> 03:07:48,079
My hands shook as I grabbed a spade from the shed.

2481
03:07:49,399 --> 03:07:52,360
I walked out to Elsie's tree, knelt at the base,

2482
03:07:52,840 --> 03:07:57,079
and started digging. The muslin reaked enough to make me gag.

2483
03:07:58,239 --> 03:08:01,479
I turned my head and swallowed it down. When the

2484
03:08:01,559 --> 03:08:05,399
hole was deep enough, I unwrapped the cloth one last time,

2485
03:08:06,360 --> 03:08:08,639
just enough to see the curve of what used to

2486
03:08:08,680 --> 03:08:13,440
be her face, and lowered it in slowly. I pressed

2487
03:08:13,479 --> 03:08:17,159
the dirt back over gently, smoothing it flat with my palm,

2488
03:08:17,920 --> 03:08:21,200
and sat there a long time, not ready to leave.

2489
03:08:22,639 --> 03:08:24,920
When I stood and brushed the soil from my knees,

2490
03:08:26,200 --> 03:08:33,120
I looked up. Another fruit was growing, just beginning to swell.

2491
03:08:34,799 --> 03:08:38,120
Marissa was still asleep. When I came back in, her

2492
03:08:38,200 --> 03:08:41,520
breathing was shallow and her face was swollen from crying.

2493
03:08:42,760 --> 03:08:45,559
She didn't stir when I sat beside her and laid

2494
03:08:45,600 --> 03:08:52,040
my hand on her back. I let her rest. The

2495
03:08:52,159 --> 03:08:58,520
next morning, Grafco arrived two reps, this time doctor Levin

2496
03:08:58,760 --> 03:09:02,280
and someone new in an baby jacket, clipboard in hand,

2497
03:09:02,799 --> 03:09:07,120
both of them all business. I told them Marissa wasn't

2498
03:09:07,159 --> 03:09:13,680
feeling well. They didn't ask questions. They weren't expecting anything

2499
03:09:13,719 --> 03:09:17,840
from Elsie's tree anyway. According to their notes, it wasn't

2500
03:09:17,840 --> 03:09:21,280
supposed to yield for another season. They stopped to take

2501
03:09:21,319 --> 03:09:26,600
growth measurements, height, trunk, wet, the soil balance, but the

2502
03:09:26,680 --> 03:09:33,280
other trees they were thrilled, called the results accelerated but stable,

2503
03:09:34,040 --> 03:09:39,520
used words like promising and replicable. When they left, I

2504
03:09:39,639 --> 03:09:42,120
brought Marissa a plate of toast and eggs and set

2505
03:09:42,159 --> 03:09:45,799
it on the nightstand beside her. She hadn't moved much,

2506
03:09:46,479 --> 03:09:51,000
eyes half open but vacant, her face still blotchy and tired.

2507
03:09:52,799 --> 03:09:55,799
You should eat, I said, sitting on the edge of

2508
03:09:55,840 --> 03:10:00,920
the bed. She turned her face into the pillow. I

2509
03:10:01,079 --> 03:10:06,040
buried it under the tree, I whispered, Marissa led out

2510
03:10:06,079 --> 03:10:10,479
this half sob and something about that broke me wide open.

2511
03:10:12,280 --> 03:10:16,200
I reached for her, but she curled tighter, her shoulders shaking.

2512
03:10:17,879 --> 03:10:24,239
And there's there's another one. It's starting again, just a bud,

2513
03:10:24,319 --> 03:10:31,440
but it's there. The words just came out. I shouldn't

2514
03:10:31,479 --> 03:10:34,600
have said anything. I knew what that tree was doing

2515
03:10:34,680 --> 03:10:37,200
to her. But when she pulled her face from the

2516
03:10:37,239 --> 03:10:41,200
pillow and looked at me, face blotchy and puffy, eyes

2517
03:10:41,280 --> 03:10:46,040
bright and that hopeful, desperate way, it was too late

2518
03:10:46,120 --> 03:10:51,319
to take it back. Another one, she said, barely more

2519
03:10:51,399 --> 03:10:56,760
than a breath. I nodded her hand, reached out and

2520
03:10:56,879 --> 03:11:01,479
held mine. She sat up, slow and stiff. I still

2521
03:11:01,559 --> 03:11:06,879
locked on mine. It wasn't ready, she said, the last one.

2522
03:11:07,440 --> 03:11:13,079
It hadn't fully become her yet. I didn't understand at first.

2523
03:11:14,079 --> 03:11:18,000
She squeezed my hand. It was too young, like picking

2524
03:11:18,079 --> 03:11:22,239
a pair before it's ripe. Her voice cracked. It wasn't

2525
03:11:22,319 --> 03:11:29,680
completely Elsie. She leaned in close, forehead against mine. Promise

2526
03:11:29,760 --> 03:11:33,280
me we wait next time. We don't touch it, not

2527
03:11:33,479 --> 03:11:38,360
until it's her, just before it happened. That's when we'll

2528
03:11:38,440 --> 03:11:44,600
know it's done. I hesitated. Everything in me wanted to

2529
03:11:44,680 --> 03:11:48,319
tell her no, to remind her that it wasn't really Elsie.

2530
03:11:49,879 --> 03:11:55,959
But she looks so certain, so sure, so I said yes.

2531
03:11:59,000 --> 03:12:01,959
Missa watched the new bud every morning like a kid

2532
03:12:02,079 --> 03:12:06,079
waiting for Christmas. She raked mulch into the soft cradle

2533
03:12:06,159 --> 03:12:09,399
shape directly under the branch where the fruit hung, and

2534
03:12:09,520 --> 03:12:13,280
tucked an old pillow into its curve. When I stepped

2535
03:12:13,319 --> 03:12:16,840
into view, Marissa looked up and smiled like this was

2536
03:12:17,000 --> 03:12:23,399
all perfectly normal. She's growing fast, she said, faster than

2537
03:12:23,479 --> 03:12:27,760
last time. Her voice had that same softness she used

2538
03:12:27,879 --> 03:12:31,479
when Elsie was sick. I watched her took the corners

2539
03:12:31,479 --> 03:12:34,200
of the muslin under the pillow like it was a bassanette.

2540
03:12:35,520 --> 03:12:38,920
She'll be walking before we know it, she added, with

2541
03:12:39,079 --> 03:12:44,440
this tiny, wistful laugh that didn't reach her eyes. It

2542
03:12:44,559 --> 03:12:50,079
gutted me weeks past. The fruit grew fuller, like it

2543
03:12:50,200 --> 03:12:54,719
was aging through Elsie's life stages, one feature at a time,

2544
03:12:56,079 --> 03:12:59,159
but the eyes stayed shut. It looked like she was

2545
03:12:59,280 --> 03:13:04,200
fast asleep, like she could wake at any moment. Soon.

2546
03:13:04,600 --> 03:13:07,520
Its skin flushed warm to the touch, and when I

2547
03:13:07,600 --> 03:13:11,760
pressed my fingers to the stem, I could feel a pulse.

2548
03:13:13,799 --> 03:13:16,840
She looked at me, then gently lifted the fruit and

2549
03:13:17,000 --> 03:13:22,559
extended it toward me. Hold her. She said, she wants

2550
03:13:22,639 --> 03:13:28,879
to know who you are. She misses you. I hesitated,

2551
03:13:30,159 --> 03:13:35,920
everything in me recoiled, but Marissa's eyes were steady, soft,

2552
03:13:37,559 --> 03:13:43,959
so I reached out. The moment my hands touched the fruit,

2553
03:13:44,920 --> 03:13:51,479
something in me melted. It was warm, heavy, in that

2554
03:13:51,559 --> 03:13:56,159
way sleeping children always are, and beneath the skin I

2555
03:13:56,239 --> 03:13:59,360
could swear I felt the faintest flutter of her heart beat.

2556
03:14:00,719 --> 03:14:05,399
My arms curled around it instinctively, it felt like her,

2557
03:14:06,360 --> 03:14:09,239
the way she sagged into me after a long day outside.

2558
03:14:10,559 --> 03:14:14,360
It couldn't really be her. I knew that, but in

2559
03:14:14,479 --> 03:14:20,239
that moment, it felt like holding her again, like she'd

2560
03:14:20,319 --> 03:14:35,319
never left. Then Graftco came back. We hadn't expected another

2561
03:14:35,440 --> 03:14:38,959
visit so soon, but a single assistant came to check

2562
03:14:39,000 --> 03:14:43,159
the progress. Just the kid, barely older than a college

2563
03:14:43,239 --> 03:14:46,239
in turn, with a silver case and a polite smile.

2564
03:14:47,120 --> 03:14:50,440
He didn't even knock. I didn't even know he was

2565
03:14:50,479 --> 03:14:53,719
here until I heard a crash, and then Marissa's voice,

2566
03:14:54,040 --> 03:14:57,920
high and breaking. They're going to take her, Paul, They're

2567
03:14:57,920 --> 03:15:02,239
going to see her, she said the window, wide eyed.

2568
03:15:03,159 --> 03:15:06,360
You have to stop them. She said they'll take her.

2569
03:15:06,559 --> 03:15:09,520
They'll cut a down like she's nothing. You promised, Paul,

2570
03:15:09,799 --> 03:15:15,079
you promised, I tried to calm her voice, low and steady.

2571
03:15:16,360 --> 03:15:19,360
I'll handle it. I won't let them near her. Just

2572
03:15:19,440 --> 03:15:24,399
stay here, please, Reesa. She shook her head like she

2573
03:15:24,440 --> 03:15:29,159
couldn't hear me, tears tracking down her cheeks. She's not ready,

2574
03:15:29,600 --> 03:15:33,000
he said, we'd wait. You said we'd protect her. I

2575
03:15:33,200 --> 03:15:37,559
mean it, I said, already turning toward the door. I'm going.

2576
03:15:38,000 --> 03:15:43,200
I'll take care of it, I swear. My heart thudded

2577
03:15:43,319 --> 03:15:47,000
harder with each step. The assistant was already scanning through

2578
03:15:47,040 --> 03:15:50,440
the trees and taking notes. I forced a smile on

2579
03:15:50,520 --> 03:15:53,559
to my face as I approached him, hoping he couldn't

2580
03:15:53,559 --> 03:15:58,760
see the panic behind it. Morning, I said, keeping my

2581
03:15:58,879 --> 03:16:02,440
tone casual. You folks sure know how to pick your weather.

2582
03:16:04,159 --> 03:16:08,559
He glanced up and gave a short nod distracted. Yeah,

2583
03:16:08,879 --> 03:16:12,680
sorry to drop an unannounced just a routine check. Shouldn't

2584
03:16:12,680 --> 03:16:15,799
take long. You'll want to see the roots well in

2585
03:16:15,879 --> 03:16:20,719
the north row. It tripled last month, he blinked at me,

2586
03:16:21,120 --> 03:16:26,360
distracted eyes already drifting toward the younger block. That one's

2587
03:16:26,360 --> 03:16:31,000
still sterile. I added, quickly, pointing at Elsie's tree. Not

2588
03:16:31,200 --> 03:16:36,079
due to fruit for another year, maybe two. He nodded

2589
03:16:36,120 --> 03:16:40,319
slowly and followed me away. But half way down the row,

2590
03:16:40,920 --> 03:16:45,399
he paused, glanced over his shoulder. Mind if I take

2591
03:16:45,440 --> 03:16:49,159
a quick reading over there, he asked, already starting back

2592
03:16:49,200 --> 03:16:54,200
toward that tree. I caught up in two strides. It's

2593
03:16:54,280 --> 03:16:59,399
really not necessary, nothing viable there yet, he shook his head.

2594
03:17:00,159 --> 03:17:03,559
Doctor Levin wants the monitor the growth. And then he

2595
03:17:03,680 --> 03:17:07,079
stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the fruit hanging

2596
03:17:07,120 --> 03:17:12,799
from Elsie's tree. It was rounded, flushed, too lifelike to

2597
03:17:12,920 --> 03:17:19,239
be dismissed. What the hell? He dropped to his knees

2598
03:17:19,319 --> 03:17:22,360
to get a closer look, pulling out a handheld scanner

2599
03:17:22,399 --> 03:17:29,719
from his belt. This wasn't in the notes, I watched.

2600
03:17:29,760 --> 03:17:33,639
As he raised the device toward the fruit, the scanner beaped.

2601
03:17:34,520 --> 03:17:38,200
He turned to me. I'm going to have to report this.

2602
03:17:40,639 --> 03:17:45,399
Panic crawled up my throat. Wait, it's probably just the deformity.

2603
03:17:45,920 --> 03:17:52,879
The hormones can cause mutations, right, His eyes narrowed. This

2604
03:17:53,360 --> 03:17:58,920
isn't a mutation, this is something else. He looked again

2605
03:17:59,440 --> 03:18:03,360
and reached out like you might touch it. He had

2606
03:18:03,440 --> 03:18:07,879
no idea what she meant to us. I thought about Marissa,

2607
03:18:08,360 --> 03:18:10,719
how she'd curl around that muslin like she was holding

2608
03:18:10,760 --> 03:18:13,760
our girl again. How she'd cried herself to sleep when

2609
03:18:13,799 --> 03:18:18,319
it rotted, how her voice broke when she whispered, they'll

2610
03:18:18,440 --> 03:18:25,399
take her. Suddenly, I couldn't see the assistant anymore. I

2611
03:18:25,479 --> 03:18:28,479
saw a man walking out of there with Elsie's face

2612
03:18:28,559 --> 03:18:32,840
in a folder. I saw Marissa break all over again,

2613
03:18:33,600 --> 03:18:38,079
something I couldn't handle anymore. I thought about grabbing him,

2614
03:18:38,639 --> 03:18:41,520
just wrapping my arm around his throat and squeezing until

2615
03:18:41,559 --> 03:18:44,760
the life left his eyes. The thought alone made my

2616
03:18:44,840 --> 03:18:50,760
fingers twitch. But before I could move, a pruning tool

2617
03:18:51,000 --> 03:18:54,280
stuck the back of his head with a sickening crunch.

2618
03:18:55,399 --> 03:18:58,479
The blade slid in just above the neck, through the

2619
03:18:58,559 --> 03:19:02,680
soft spot with a spine and skull met A shudder

2620
03:19:02,840 --> 03:19:08,360
ripped through him. He stiffened on his knees, then sagged forward, gurgling.

2621
03:19:09,479 --> 03:19:14,000
His arms failed once, and then he slumped cheek, hitting

2622
03:19:14,120 --> 03:19:17,440
the dirt. His scanner landed in the mulch of the

2623
03:19:17,559 --> 03:19:22,239
muffled crunch. Blood seeped into the soil, dark and fast.

2624
03:19:23,600 --> 03:19:26,840
A low, gurgling breath hissed from his throat and one

2625
03:19:26,959 --> 03:19:36,159
leg jerked. He wasn't dead, Damn, I breathed. Marissa stepped

2626
03:19:36,159 --> 03:19:39,920
into view behind me, her face pale and wet with sweat.

2627
03:19:40,479 --> 03:19:44,559
The bruning tool hung limp in her hand. He's not

2628
03:19:45,399 --> 03:19:51,239
I started. I had to, she said quickly, her voice shaking. Paul,

2629
03:19:51,559 --> 03:19:55,120
I had to. He saw her, You saw him. He

2630
03:19:55,280 --> 03:19:58,000
was going to take her. I couldn't let him take her,

2631
03:20:00,079 --> 03:20:05,319
still alive, I said, dropping to one knee. We need to. No,

2632
03:20:06,079 --> 03:20:10,520
Marissa snapped, we can't. He'll tell them we'll lose her

2633
03:20:10,680 --> 03:20:16,040
all over again. Her eyes darted to the fruit, then

2634
03:20:16,200 --> 03:20:20,479
back to me. I saved her, Paul, don't you see

2635
03:20:21,120 --> 03:20:26,799
I saved her. He's dying, Marissa. We can't just just

2636
03:20:27,000 --> 03:20:32,200
leave him. We have to, she snapped, You said you'd

2637
03:20:32,280 --> 03:20:38,120
protect her. I looked back down at the assistant, his

2638
03:20:38,360 --> 03:20:42,399
chest barely rising. Blood bubbled at the corner of his mouth.

2639
03:20:43,520 --> 03:20:46,360
His fingers twitched like he was trying to reach for something.

2640
03:20:48,000 --> 03:20:52,719
I clenched my fist and squeezed my eyes shut. Every

2641
03:20:52,879 --> 03:20:57,680
part of me screamed to act to fix it, but

2642
03:20:57,840 --> 03:21:03,360
I was frozen. Marissa cut to my face with trembling hands.

2643
03:21:04,719 --> 03:21:11,360
We're doing this for her, for her daughter. I nodded barely.

2644
03:21:12,879 --> 03:21:18,120
Then we need to finish it fast. I reached down

2645
03:21:18,200 --> 03:21:21,000
with shaking hands and pulled the pruning tool from where

2646
03:21:21,040 --> 03:21:24,440
it had fallen. The blade tore out with a wet pop.

2647
03:21:25,639 --> 03:21:28,600
I hovered over him, the way to the metal suddenly

2648
03:21:28,680 --> 03:21:33,959
immense in my hand. His eyes fluttered, her breath wheezed

2649
03:21:34,040 --> 03:21:39,719
out of him, his fingers twitched. I could have ended

2650
03:21:39,760 --> 03:21:43,840
it right then I knew I should. I gripped the

2651
03:21:43,920 --> 03:21:46,200
handle and brought the tip to the base of his

2652
03:21:46,319 --> 03:21:55,479
skull and froze. My hands shook. He was someone's kid.

2653
03:21:56,239 --> 03:21:59,680
He didn't deserve any of this, and here I was

2654
03:22:00,040 --> 03:22:02,440
on my knees, about to end it because I was

2655
03:22:02,559 --> 03:22:04,760
too much of a cow to fix any of it.

2656
03:22:06,760 --> 03:22:09,760
Then I looked to the side. I saw Marissa holding

2657
03:22:09,840 --> 03:22:14,760
the fruit, and for a second I saw Elsie in

2658
03:22:14,840 --> 03:22:20,280
her arms. My throat burned. I blinked hard, tried to

2659
03:22:20,319 --> 03:22:26,639
steady my grip. I'm sorry, I whispered, and then I

2660
03:22:26,719 --> 03:22:29,680
drove the blade down through the soft spot in his skull.

2661
03:22:31,559 --> 03:22:34,440
I looked down at the body, blood thick in the dirt,

2662
03:22:36,079 --> 03:22:41,879
and I felt sick. Was this worth it? I tried

2663
03:22:41,920 --> 03:22:46,479
to swallow the question, but it stuck there. Marissa brought

2664
03:22:46,520 --> 03:22:49,159
the tarp from the shed and helped roll his body

2665
03:22:49,239 --> 03:22:54,079
into it. Neither of us spoke. We dragged him past

2666
03:22:54,120 --> 03:22:56,840
the rose to the far edge, near the compost pit,

2667
03:22:57,440 --> 03:23:01,440
where the ground was softer. I took the shovel and

2668
03:23:01,600 --> 03:23:05,959
started digging. The smell of dirt and blood mixed in

2669
03:23:06,079 --> 03:23:10,399
the air, and the hole was deep enough. We lowered

2670
03:23:10,479 --> 03:23:16,520
him in. I didn't look at his face. We covered

2671
03:23:16,559 --> 03:23:20,200
it fast, packed the dirt back over, kicked mulch across

2672
03:23:20,239 --> 03:23:24,680
the top. By the time we finished, my arms were shaking.

2673
03:23:25,559 --> 03:23:29,479
Marissa stood beside me, her eyes glassy and far away.

2674
03:23:31,399 --> 03:23:34,680
We have to clean the scanner, she said, and burn

2675
03:23:34,760 --> 03:23:40,840
the tarp. I nodded, and make sure they never send

2676
03:23:40,959 --> 03:23:50,239
any one again. A week passed. Every night I lay

2677
03:23:50,360 --> 03:23:53,600
beside Marissa, with the weight of what I'd done disturbing

2678
03:23:53,680 --> 03:23:57,399
my thoughts. I kept telling myself it was for them,

2679
03:23:58,280 --> 03:24:00,399
but I couldn't shake the sound of the girl in

2680
03:24:00,479 --> 03:24:04,520
his throat. I tried to picture Marissa's face when she

2681
03:24:04,639 --> 03:24:08,239
held that fruit, and tried to hold onto that try

2682
03:24:08,319 --> 03:24:13,079
to believe it was worth it. The fruit had grown bigger,

2683
03:24:13,840 --> 03:24:17,120
It was heavier now, thick around the middle, and long

2684
03:24:17,239 --> 03:24:20,680
enough to touch the ground. It curled into the mulch

2685
03:24:20,799 --> 03:24:25,399
like it was sleeping, and it looked older now, almost

2686
03:24:25,440 --> 03:24:28,239
the same age as Elsie had been before she died.

2687
03:24:29,719 --> 03:24:33,600
We both started spending more time under the tree. I'd

2688
03:24:33,680 --> 03:24:37,319
catch Marissa brushing mulch away from the fruit side, or

2689
03:24:37,399 --> 03:24:42,600
humming softly, like she used to at bedtime. One morning,

2690
03:24:42,840 --> 03:24:45,959
while I tied down a saggy branch, she looked up

2691
03:24:46,000 --> 03:24:49,040
from where she sat, one hand resting gently on the

2692
03:24:49,200 --> 03:24:52,959
curve of the fruit. I think she's going to open

2693
03:24:53,000 --> 03:24:58,319
her eyes soon, she said. I nodded slowly, unsure of

2694
03:24:58,440 --> 03:25:06,280
how to answer. She looks ready. Marisa smiled, Our baby's

2695
03:25:06,360 --> 03:25:12,760
coming back. I sat beside her for that moment, with

2696
03:25:12,879 --> 03:25:15,760
the smell of bark and mulch around us and that

2697
03:25:15,959 --> 03:25:20,079
fruit between us, it felt like it might actually be true.

2698
03:25:22,079 --> 03:25:26,079
And then the phone rang from the house. It was Grafco,

2699
03:25:26,959 --> 03:25:29,920
the same polite voice that it scheduled the check ins before.

2700
03:25:31,479 --> 03:25:34,760
Just following up, he said, one of our assistants had

2701
03:25:34,799 --> 03:25:38,479
scheduled a sight visit in your area. Did they make contact?

2702
03:25:40,520 --> 03:25:43,479
I met Marissa's eyes across the kitchen. Her grip on

2703
03:25:43,559 --> 03:25:50,200
the coffee mug tightened. No, I said, no, one showed understood,

2704
03:25:50,520 --> 03:25:55,680
thank you, We'll be in touch. The lion clicked dead.

2705
03:25:57,840 --> 03:26:01,319
If that wasn't enough stress. When Marissa turned the radio on,

2706
03:26:01,879 --> 03:26:04,079
it crackled to life with the tail end of an

2707
03:26:04,120 --> 03:26:10,559
emergency broadcast. Heavy winds expected across the valley floor. Lightning

2708
03:26:10,600 --> 03:26:14,719
activity reported near the ridge. Residents should secure loose property

2709
03:26:14,879 --> 03:26:19,079
and avoid open areas. Advisories are in effect until midnight.

2710
03:26:19,639 --> 03:26:26,040
Repeat high wind and lightning warnings issued through tonight. The

2711
03:26:26,120 --> 03:26:29,159
sky had that bruised tone to it, too dark for

2712
03:26:29,280 --> 03:26:35,040
the morning. She's not ready, Marissa said, quietly. If that

2713
03:26:35,159 --> 03:26:39,559
wind knocks it down, it won't. I said, we won't

2714
03:26:39,639 --> 03:26:45,440
let it. We grabbed what we had, twine, steaks, and

2715
03:26:45,559 --> 03:26:49,159
spare netting from the tool shed. I carried out an

2716
03:26:49,200 --> 03:26:53,159
old canopy from the market days metal legs, rusted but

2717
03:26:53,360 --> 03:26:58,440
still usable. Marissa followed me arms full of blankets and

2718
03:26:58,520 --> 03:27:02,479
old towels. The wind had already picked up by the

2719
03:27:02,520 --> 03:27:06,879
time we reached the tree. The leaves shivered overhead, that

2720
03:27:07,040 --> 03:27:12,200
warning rustle that comes before the break. So we worked fast.

2721
03:27:13,360 --> 03:27:17,319
Marissa crouched beneath the branch, copping the fruit with both hands,

2722
03:27:17,680 --> 03:27:21,559
like it might already be slipping away, or we should

2723
03:27:21,559 --> 03:27:27,120
anchor it. She said, something soft, just in case. I

2724
03:27:27,280 --> 03:27:30,920
nodded and wedged an old pillow beneath the branch, tying

2725
03:27:30,959 --> 03:27:33,799
it up loosely so it cradled the stem without tugging.

2726
03:27:35,040 --> 03:27:38,799
She wrapped the towels around it like insulation, tugging every edge.

2727
03:27:40,239 --> 03:27:43,559
Then I pulled the canopy over and hammered stakes around

2728
03:27:43,600 --> 03:27:47,639
the base. We stretched the mesh netting torch around the frame,

2729
03:27:48,200 --> 03:27:50,959
leaving room for the wind to pass, but not enough

2730
03:27:51,079 --> 03:27:55,280
to tear it. Looks like a damn tent, I muttered,

2731
03:27:55,520 --> 03:27:59,719
stepping back. A flash of lightning licked the sky in

2732
03:27:59,760 --> 03:28:03,239
the distance, followed by a slow roll of thunder. A

2733
03:28:03,360 --> 03:28:08,639
few seconds later. I counted out of habit maybe three

2734
03:28:08,879 --> 03:28:13,639
or four miles off. We need to go inside, I said,

2735
03:28:13,920 --> 03:28:19,000
my voice firm. Marissa refused to move. She was still

2736
03:28:19,120 --> 03:28:22,840
crouched one hand on the branch, the other gently covering

2737
03:28:22,879 --> 03:28:26,520
the base of the fruit through the canopy. She's going

2738
03:28:26,600 --> 03:28:31,760
to be scared alone, she said. We can't just leave her. Marissa,

2739
03:28:32,520 --> 03:28:36,200
She's just a kid, Paul. She doesn't understand storms. What

2740
03:28:36,360 --> 03:28:40,479
if she thinks. We abandoned her again and knelt beside her.

2741
03:28:41,319 --> 03:28:45,559
The air buzzed faintly, starting in pressure and dread, curling

2742
03:28:45,680 --> 03:28:50,200
in the space between each gust. You've done everything you can,

2743
03:28:50,840 --> 03:28:56,559
I said. She knows that. But if lightning strikes, another

2744
03:28:56,639 --> 03:29:02,040
flash cut across the sky, this one closer. Thunder crackled overhead,

2745
03:29:02,440 --> 03:29:07,399
and Marissa winced. I grabbed her hand. Come on, we'll

2746
03:29:07,479 --> 03:29:10,680
watch from the house. We'll be right there, just like

2747
03:29:10,760 --> 03:29:13,479
when she spent the night camping in the garden. He

2748
03:29:13,559 --> 03:29:19,559
didn't leave her then either. She hesitated, Then she nodded. Slowly.

2749
03:29:20,719 --> 03:29:25,319
We ran for the house through the rising wind. Once inside,

2750
03:29:25,799 --> 03:29:29,479
Marissa pressed herself to the window, breath fogging the glass.

2751
03:29:30,920 --> 03:29:34,120
The next bolt of lightning struck somewhere beyond the east Grove,

2752
03:29:34,799 --> 03:29:38,159
close enough at the flash painted the entire sky white.

2753
03:29:39,559 --> 03:29:43,079
A half second later, the thunder crackled so hard the

2754
03:29:43,159 --> 03:29:48,639
glass trembled in its frame. Then her sharp smell hit

2755
03:29:49,680 --> 03:29:55,319
electrical and burned. I looked past Marissa's shoulder and saw

2756
03:29:55,440 --> 03:29:58,440
sparks flaring from one of the grafcow notes at the

2757
03:29:58,479 --> 03:30:04,040
base of the tree three rows down. Paul. Marissa said,

2758
03:30:04,360 --> 03:30:11,200
voice sharp, do you see that, Yeah, I breathed. The

2759
03:30:11,280 --> 03:30:15,120
sparks caught the dry mulch. Fast flames licked up the

2760
03:30:15,159 --> 03:30:19,959
base of the trunk. Then another node popped, another burst.

2761
03:30:21,040 --> 03:30:23,799
The fire jumped from one row to the next, like

2762
03:30:23,920 --> 03:30:30,000
it had been waiting. Marissa slammed her hand against the window. No, no, no.

2763
03:30:31,239 --> 03:30:34,680
I grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the sink. Call

2764
03:30:34,799 --> 03:30:41,200
nine one one, I barked. Now she didn't move, Marissa.

2765
03:30:42,680 --> 03:30:45,280
She tore her eyes away from the window, fumbling for

2766
03:30:45,360 --> 03:30:50,079
the phone. I bolted for the door, heart pounding the

2767
03:30:50,159 --> 03:30:54,559
air outside already thick with smoke and heat. The fire

2768
03:30:54,760 --> 03:30:58,719
raced faster than I expected. The wind whipped through the rose,

2769
03:30:59,000 --> 03:31:03,600
feeding the flames. The extinguisher hissed uselessly against the growing

2770
03:31:03,680 --> 03:31:08,000
wall of orange and black. I turned and saw Marissa

2771
03:31:08,120 --> 03:31:11,639
turning toward the tree. Phone clutched in one hand, the

2772
03:31:11,760 --> 03:31:15,399
shears glinting in the other. Her face was streaked with

2773
03:31:15,520 --> 03:31:21,200
sweat and panic. We have to get her, she shouted, Marissa. No,

2774
03:31:22,040 --> 03:31:26,920
I'm not leaving her. She dove under the canopy as

2775
03:31:27,040 --> 03:31:31,319
flames crept closer through the underbrush. The air was thick

2776
03:31:31,399 --> 03:31:35,079
and angry. I heard the pop of another node and

2777
03:31:35,200 --> 03:31:39,120
the shattering snap of a branch. I ran to her.

2778
03:31:40,959 --> 03:31:44,319
She emerged cradling the fruit to her chest, wrapped in

2779
03:31:44,399 --> 03:31:47,760
a blanket. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back

2780
03:31:47,879 --> 03:31:52,920
with everything I had. We ran, ducking under limbs, smoke,

2781
03:31:53,040 --> 03:31:57,600
clawing at her lungs. We returned to the porch just

2782
03:31:57,760 --> 03:32:01,559
after another lightning bolt split the scar. The boom of

2783
03:32:01,680 --> 03:32:07,360
thunder hit a second later, like the world was splitting inside.

2784
03:32:07,840 --> 03:32:10,479
She held on to the fruit, like when she carried

2785
03:32:10,559 --> 03:32:14,399
Elsie to bed after falling asleep on the couch. Its

2786
03:32:14,440 --> 03:32:18,959
skin glistened as if weeping, a thick, clear trail rolling

2787
03:32:19,079 --> 03:32:25,879
down her cheek. Is that sap, I asked. She shook

2788
03:32:25,920 --> 03:32:34,520
her head slowly. She's crying. She was scared. The fruit

2789
03:32:34,600 --> 03:32:39,040
didn't pulse anymore, but it was warm. The resemblance was

2790
03:32:39,120 --> 03:32:47,120
more complete than before. It looked done. Maybe she was ready,

2791
03:32:47,920 --> 03:32:52,200
Marissa whispered. Another crack of lightning ripped across the sky,

2792
03:32:52,840 --> 03:32:55,959
and thunder followed so fast it felt like it landed

2793
03:32:56,040 --> 03:33:01,159
on our roof. I looked at Marissa, who called to help.

2794
03:33:01,639 --> 03:33:08,920
Right She nodded barely, they're coming. Her attention was on

2795
03:33:09,000 --> 03:33:14,840
the fruit. She began to rock it gently. Sh baby,

2796
03:33:15,360 --> 03:33:19,680
it's all right, it's just a storm. You're safe. We've

2797
03:33:19,760 --> 03:33:24,760
got you. She kept whispering to it, words soft and soothing,

2798
03:33:25,239 --> 03:33:29,239
like she was lulling it back to sleep. You're scared now,

2799
03:33:29,559 --> 03:33:33,959
I know, I know. But we're here. We're not going anywhere.

2800
03:33:36,600 --> 03:33:40,000
I turned to the window. The fire trucks hadn't arrived yet.

2801
03:33:41,239 --> 03:33:45,760
Outside the orchard glowed with shifting orange light, the trees

2802
03:33:45,879 --> 03:33:51,479
going one by one. Our whole life unraveled, row after

2803
03:33:51,639 --> 03:33:58,159
row of work, memory sweat, just gone, years of early mornings,

2804
03:33:58,559 --> 03:34:01,959
of pruning in frost and picking in heat, of coaxing

2805
03:34:02,079 --> 03:34:06,319
life out of cracked earth, all of it vanishing into smoke.

2806
03:34:07,639 --> 03:34:12,959
The trees we planted our first spring. Then the fire

2807
03:34:13,159 --> 03:34:17,600
had reached Elsie's tree. The canopy, red built mint to

2808
03:34:17,719 --> 03:34:23,319
shield and protect, caught instantly. The netting ignited like dry paper,

2809
03:34:23,879 --> 03:34:28,360
flames raising up the edges. The towels and blankets Marissa

2810
03:34:28,479 --> 03:34:34,559
had so carefully wrapped became fuel. Lightning struck again, closer.

2811
03:34:34,639 --> 03:34:38,440
This time it split a branch two rows over and

2812
03:34:38,600 --> 03:34:42,159
sent a shock wave through the orchard. I watched the

2813
03:34:42,239 --> 03:34:45,920
bark blacken and peel with branches thrashing in the heat.

2814
03:34:47,559 --> 03:34:51,600
Another flash lit the sky and thunder cracked like a gunshot.

2815
03:34:52,799 --> 03:34:56,040
The maulchar around the base popped, and the wires underneath

2816
03:34:56,159 --> 03:35:00,239
sparked again, throwing arcs into the inferno and feed the

2817
03:35:00,319 --> 03:35:07,239
fire until it roared like a living thing. Marissa shrieked,

2818
03:35:09,000 --> 03:35:12,879
I turned and sawah doubled over the counter, arms wrapped

2819
03:35:12,959 --> 03:35:18,280
protectively around the fruit, rocking it. No, no, please, no,

2820
03:35:19,200 --> 03:35:25,520
she whimpered, not again, not again. The fruit skin had

2821
03:35:25,559 --> 03:35:30,159
the jaw split open, wet and sudden. A thick line

2822
03:35:30,280 --> 03:35:34,520
tore sideways through the cheek the way overripe fruit bursts

2823
03:35:34,680 --> 03:35:39,760
under its own weight. Inside were muscles and tendons. Pink

2824
03:35:40,000 --> 03:35:43,639
curled around the edges of the wound like fresh gum, twitching.

2825
03:35:44,760 --> 03:35:49,479
It glistened with something slick. Marissa's hands scrambled to press

2826
03:35:49,520 --> 03:35:54,639
the pieces back together. No, baby, stay, stay with me, please,

2827
03:35:55,399 --> 03:35:59,079
she whispered, pressing her palms against the softening flesh like

2828
03:35:59,200 --> 03:36:02,719
she could hold it in place by force. Her fingers

2829
03:36:02,760 --> 03:36:07,000
smeared black and red residue across the muslin. Don't go,

2830
03:36:07,760 --> 03:36:11,840
she begged. You're almost there, you're almost done. Please don't

2831
03:36:11,920 --> 03:36:18,680
leave me. Then it started to cave. The jaw turned

2832
03:36:18,760 --> 03:36:22,879
dark and black and fully the flesh sagged and collapsed

2833
03:36:22,920 --> 03:36:26,760
into itself, caving inward like it was folding back into

2834
03:36:26,840 --> 03:36:30,399
the pit it came from. Marissa tried to catch the

2835
03:36:30,479 --> 03:36:34,200
pieces as they fell, cupping her hands beneath them, but

2836
03:36:34,360 --> 03:36:38,959
they slid through her fingers in wet, shapeless slumps. Each

2837
03:36:39,159 --> 03:36:42,559
chunk landed on the counter with a thick, soft supplat

2838
03:36:44,239 --> 03:36:47,600
She shrieked again and grabbed at what was left, trying

2839
03:36:47,680 --> 03:36:51,840
to reassemble it. I can fix it, I can fix it.

2840
03:36:52,399 --> 03:36:56,879
Just give her back. A vein unspooled from the center

2841
03:36:57,280 --> 03:37:01,239
and shriveled before I could finish. What was left with

2842
03:37:01,360 --> 03:37:06,079
scraps of soft, black tissue, slick with residue. In the

2843
03:37:06,200 --> 03:37:12,360
center lay a single seed. Marissa reached for it with

2844
03:37:12,479 --> 03:37:16,399
shaking fingers, hands coated in the pulp of what used

2845
03:37:16,440 --> 03:37:21,000
to be elsie. She cut the seed. Her mouth moved,

2846
03:37:21,680 --> 03:37:25,159
but no sound came out, at first, just to quiver.

2847
03:37:26,879 --> 03:37:33,000
Then her lips parted. No, no, no, this isn't what

2848
03:37:33,120 --> 03:37:37,120
was supposed to happen. I waited, we waited. She was

2849
03:37:37,159 --> 03:37:42,399
supposed to be ready, She was almost here. She backed

2850
03:37:42,399 --> 03:37:45,600
into the wall and slid down, curling around the seed,

2851
03:37:46,319 --> 03:37:53,239
muttering fragments, apologies, lullabies. Her eyes were wild, darting toward

2852
03:37:53,319 --> 03:37:59,639
the window. The storm, the fire, It scared her, she whispered,

2853
03:38:00,600 --> 03:38:08,840
She got scared, and she left. Blue and red light

2854
03:38:09,000 --> 03:38:13,040
flashed against the walls, strobing across the kitchen. As sirens

2855
03:38:13,079 --> 03:38:16,559
filled the air. The fire trucks pulled into the drive,

2856
03:38:17,079 --> 03:38:21,120
wheels kicking up gravel and smoke. Boots hid the ground.

2857
03:38:21,239 --> 03:38:25,520
Running shouts rang out. Water lines hissed as they unspooled.

2858
03:38:26,760 --> 03:38:30,159
I stepped away from the window, chest heavy, the sound

2859
03:38:30,239 --> 03:38:34,399
of the orchard crackling like coal in a furnace. I

2860
03:38:34,479 --> 03:38:38,840
looked at the seed, still cradled in Marissa's hands, and

2861
03:38:39,040 --> 03:38:44,239
felt something sickening in my stomach. Marissa rocked on her heels,

2862
03:38:44,680 --> 03:38:50,719
clutching the seed tight against the chest. Her eyes were glassy, unfocussed,

2863
03:38:51,159 --> 03:38:55,959
fixed on nothing. Then she looked up at me, sudden

2864
03:38:56,079 --> 03:39:01,639
and sharp. We need to replant it, she said. We

2865
03:39:01,760 --> 03:39:04,079
can't let it in like this. We need to give

2866
03:39:04,120 --> 03:39:10,239
her another chance. My throat tightened. I glanced at the seed,

2867
03:39:10,879 --> 03:39:16,600
thinner the glow of the fire. Marissa, I said, carefully,

2868
03:39:17,479 --> 03:39:20,680
we have to wait. The storm isn't done, not yet.

2869
03:39:22,760 --> 03:39:26,000
She shook her head like she hadn't heard me. We

2870
03:39:26,120 --> 03:39:29,639
can't wait too long. She's still out there. I can

2871
03:39:29,760 --> 03:39:32,399
feel it. We can't leave her alone for too long.

2872
03:39:33,200 --> 03:39:40,040
She gets scared. It took hours to fight the fire.

2873
03:39:40,959 --> 03:39:44,680
The orchard was a patchwork of scorched trunks and blackened earth.

2874
03:39:44,799 --> 03:39:48,440
By the time the smoke cleared, what hadn't burned down

2875
03:39:48,639 --> 03:39:53,600
was drowned. We lost nearly everything, the pears, the apples,

2876
03:39:54,040 --> 03:39:59,559
the entire eastern block, years of pruning, grafting and coaxing,

2877
03:39:59,639 --> 03:40:04,120
life and bark and soil all gone. When the trucks

2878
03:40:04,159 --> 03:40:07,879
finally rolled out and the sky had cleared, I walked

2879
03:40:07,959 --> 03:40:12,639
back inside. Marissa had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor,

2880
03:40:13,239 --> 03:40:18,360
the seed still clutched to her chest. I stood over

2881
03:40:18,479 --> 03:40:22,879
her for a long time. Then I reached down and

2882
03:40:23,079 --> 03:40:27,520
gently pried the seed from her fingers. She stirred, but

2883
03:40:27,680 --> 03:40:33,920
didn't wake. I carried it to the bathroom, closed the door,

2884
03:40:34,399 --> 03:40:37,159
sat on the edge of the top and stared at

2885
03:40:37,239 --> 03:40:43,280
it resting in my palm. It looked harmless, just a

2886
03:40:43,399 --> 03:40:49,440
simple seed. But I couldn't do it again. Marissa would

2887
03:40:49,520 --> 03:40:56,280
heal eventually, so I flushed it. I watched as the

2888
03:40:56,360 --> 03:41:02,680
water swirled and it disappeared. Then I sat there in

2889
03:41:02,799 --> 03:41:06,520
the quiet, not sure if I just killed what was

2890
03:41:06,639 --> 03:41:12,360
left my wife, or finally let my daughter rest. Then

2891
03:41:12,440 --> 03:41:16,840
it all hit me. My shoulders caved forward, I bent

2892
03:41:17,239 --> 03:41:23,760
elbows to knees, face in my hands, and I cried, big,

2893
03:41:24,120 --> 03:41:27,879
ugly sobs that shook the floor and scraped out something

2894
03:41:27,959 --> 03:41:31,920
I hadn't touched since the day she died. My chest

2895
03:41:31,959 --> 03:41:35,959
seized with each breath, and I wept until my stomach cramped,

2896
03:41:36,559 --> 03:41:41,479
until snot and spit smeared down my chin. Months of

2897
03:41:41,719 --> 03:41:47,920
keeping it together cracked open in a single brutal moment.