WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:02.160 Hi everyone, and welcome back to the podcast episode. My 2 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:04.559 name is Alicia Gogan, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, 3 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:07.040 where I help you expand your mind and become more 4 00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.839 self aware so that you can glow up into the 5 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:13.240 best version of yourself. Hello, and happy June first. If 6 00:00:13.240 --> 00:00:16.320 you're listening to this on a Sunday, I cannot believe 7 00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:19.879 it is June first. Hello, what's happening. I don't know 8 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:23.960 where the time is going. My dad's birthday was actually 9 00:00:24.039 --> 00:00:25.839 June first, which is the tattoo that I have on 10 00:00:25.879 --> 00:00:28.239 my shoulder if you're watching on YouTube. If you ever 11 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:31.079 wanted to know what those Roman numerals were, it was 12 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:35.600 June first for his birthday. But anyways, Happy June. Like, 13 00:00:35.960 --> 00:00:40.159 we're here, summer, it's coming, Summer's basically here. Today is 14 00:00:40.159 --> 00:00:41.960 actually kind of like a gloomy day. So I'm just 15 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:45.439 like in a little comfy, you know, casual sweater here 16 00:00:45.560 --> 00:00:48.520 and we're just vibing. We're chilling, and I want to 17 00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:52.079 discuss something, Okay, I want to talk about something because 18 00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:55.520 I feel like I've been experiencing this. And then I 19 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:57.200 asked you guys in the community tab, and you guys 20 00:00:57.280 --> 00:01:00.399 seem to be wanting an episode on this. So the 21 00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:04.959 other day I was watching one of my favorite influencers 22 00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:10.760 and she's what somebody some people would call like basic, 23 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:13.400 that girl wellness influencer. You know, there's a lot of 24 00:01:13.439 --> 00:01:16.719 people who will be like ah, like they don't provide 25 00:01:16.799 --> 00:01:21.239 much value and they're really privileged and this that, and 26 00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:24.000 I get all those arguments, you know, I get it, 27 00:01:24.040 --> 00:01:26.599 But sometimes you just have that person that you just 28 00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:29.200 are influenced by and you just love their lifestyle, like 29 00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:31.319 you love to watch their vlogs, you love to see 30 00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:35.519 their beautiful life, like whatever. And I'm in an era 31 00:01:35.599 --> 00:01:38.120 of my life right now where I'm just really allowing 32 00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:41.079 myself to live the life that i want, letting go 33 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:44.280 of things that are not in alignment, and you know, 34 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:47.760 not being so strict on myself when it comes to routines. 35 00:01:47.879 --> 00:01:50.079 Not like I'm not taking care of myself. I'm actually 36 00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:53.959 in the best place mentally, physically everything and with habits. 37 00:01:53.959 --> 00:01:57.280 I feel like I'm not sabotaging, I'm not resisting things. 38 00:01:57.359 --> 00:02:00.400 And it's all because I am not forcing, I am 39 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:03.120 not pushing myself. I'm not having so much discipline on myself. 40 00:02:03.159 --> 00:02:05.000 So anyways, I'm just like in that era right now, 41 00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:07.799 and part of that era is just letting myself do 42 00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:09.919 what i want in the mornings. And I've had a 43 00:02:09.960 --> 00:02:12.840 really good routine when it comes to my morning routines. 44 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:17.080 I'm doing a little bit of fasting in sync with 45 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:18.919 my cycle, which I'm probably gonna talk about on my 46 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:22.080 YouTube channel, and so sometimes in the morning I'm having 47 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:24.479 my coffee whatever. I'm just like vibing in the mornings. 48 00:02:24.520 --> 00:02:26.080 And if I'm when I'm in a really good mood 49 00:02:26.280 --> 00:02:29.039 or in really good alignment and I'm just happy with 50 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:32.199 my life, I find myself leaning towards those people or 51 00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:35.199 watching those people, like you know, an influencer who's like 52 00:02:35.319 --> 00:02:37.680 taking care of her wellness and she cares about her 53 00:02:37.719 --> 00:02:40.000 beauty and her fashion, or I'm on Pinterest more and 54 00:02:40.039 --> 00:02:44.039 I'm like caring about these things that maybe I wasn't 55 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:46.560 worried about so much when I was in survival mode 56 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:49.719 or a different season in my life, and when I 57 00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:52.240 was getting excited to like watch her vlog and just 58 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:54.199 like sit and have my coffee, there's a part of 59 00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:56.159 me that was like feeling guilty about that and just 60 00:02:56.199 --> 00:03:00.240 being like, why are you doing this? And it was 61 00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:02.719 less about oh, you're wasting time, but more about like 62 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:04.919 this is not what you should be doing, Like you 63 00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:07.400 should be like I don't know, like working on yourself 64 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:11.639 or doing something harder, or you know, this identity of 65 00:03:11.719 --> 00:03:13.520 like things need to be hard. And when I was 66 00:03:13.560 --> 00:03:17.319 exploring where that was coming from, I just got to 67 00:03:17.319 --> 00:03:20.439 this point where it's like, no, Like I'm gonna allow 68 00:03:20.479 --> 00:03:24.599 myself to want more for myself and to be happy 69 00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:29.159 and to really let my old identities go and shed 70 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:34.159 old versions of me and allow myself to outgrow different 71 00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:36.879 versions or habits or things that I no longer are 72 00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:39.800 interested in, and allow myself to want more and to 73 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:44.080 be interested in new things. And I think there's many 74 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:46.159 other areas of my life right now where I feel 75 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:51.879 like I am outgrowing people, places, and things, and I 76 00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:55.919 am needing to step more into that unapologetic era of 77 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:58.240 being like you can have whatever it is that you 78 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:00.840 want in your life, Like we don't need to always 79 00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:05.039 be in this constant cycle and identity of somebody who 80 00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:08.639 has to heal or healing or fixing. And I think 81 00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:10.759 a lot of you guys might be going through this too, 82 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:13.599 because I think a lot of you are on this 83 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:16.160 journey with me, and we've done so much healing, and 84 00:04:16.199 --> 00:04:18.040 there's always going to be things that we need to 85 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:20.759 do when it comes to healing, and old wounds will 86 00:04:20.759 --> 00:04:23.279 come up, and maybe we get anxious here and there, 87 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:26.800 or you know, we get into these controlling mindsets again 88 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:29.680 and whatever. But I feel like for the most part, 89 00:04:30.199 --> 00:04:33.600 we're kind of exiting, at least right now in my 90 00:04:33.639 --> 00:04:37.920 life this phase. I'm really really exiting this identity of 91 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:42.920 having to heal, and I'm more moving into this identity 92 00:04:43.079 --> 00:04:47.759 of evolution and expansion and really just thinking about how 93 00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:50.519 do I want to live my life outside of the 94 00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:52.720 things that we're maybe holding me back or the things 95 00:04:52.759 --> 00:04:54.759 that I was healing from. And sometimes I think that 96 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:58.360 we can stay stuck in that identity of needing to 97 00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:01.759 heal or being broken or being depressed or being sad 98 00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:04.879 because we've been in it for so long. But when 99 00:05:05.160 --> 00:05:07.920 we are going through this phase, sometimes it feels a 100 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:10.800 little bit scary, and we might even tell ourselves that 101 00:05:10.839 --> 00:05:14.120 we're not allowed to or we feel guilty if we 102 00:05:14.279 --> 00:05:17.199 are wanting things, whether it is more you know, money, 103 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.879 abundant success, material things, or we're caring more about our 104 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:23.680 beauty or getting our nails done. Again, or you know, 105 00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:27.040 like having a social life all these things because maybe 106 00:05:27.079 --> 00:05:30.560 we haven't in the past. But it's really because this 107 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:35.279 new version of us is in contradiction to the old identity, 108 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:39.040 the old version of us that is in that identity 109 00:05:39.079 --> 00:05:41.680 of needing to heal and feeling like everything needs to 110 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:44.160 be hard, et cetera. And so what I have been 111 00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:48.959 basically just telling myself when I'm witnessing myself kind of 112 00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:51.360 feel guilty for like wanting the things that I want, 113 00:05:52.439 --> 00:05:56.319 is that, for one, it's just in contradiction with this 114 00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:58.480 version of me that I've been for so long. So 115 00:05:58.519 --> 00:06:00.800 it kind of makes sense why it just doesn't feel comfortable, 116 00:06:00.839 --> 00:06:03.160 like anything new is going to feel uncomfortable. But it's 117 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:06.399 really just remembering that we are allowed to have more, 118 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:10.040 And isn't the whole point of why we've been doing 119 00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:12.519 healing work is so that we can have more and 120 00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:14.720 expand and involve in the first place. And I think 121 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:17.680 it's really just about reminding yourself in the moments that 122 00:06:17.720 --> 00:06:19.959 you find like, oh, you're feeling guilty about wanting more, 123 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:23.000 or you're staying small, or you feel bad about you know, 124 00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:25.600 stepping into this new version of yourself, and maybe you're 125 00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:27.639 judging yourself and being like, oh, I shouldn't want this 126 00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:30.319 or this, that it's all really just that voice that 127 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:32.560 is coming from that place that wants to keep you 128 00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:35.240 there and believes that you need to stay in this 129 00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:38.839 depressed state or that life needs to be hard, and 130 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:41.399 it really does not. And I shared a Pinterest quote 131 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:43.480 in the community tab and this is where like I 132 00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:46.600 got some of your responses and stuff, and the quote says, 133 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:48.879 you're allowed to get up one day and just decide 134 00:06:48.920 --> 00:06:51.959 to change who you are. Dress definitely, speak up more, 135 00:06:52.279 --> 00:06:54.560 laugh out loud, even though you've never liked your laugh 136 00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:56.759 say what you want to say hey to people you 137 00:06:56.759 --> 00:06:59.720 wouldn't normally get that confidence going. We don't have to 138 00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:01.920 stay the way people see us out of fear that 139 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:03.839 they won't like us the way that we want to be. 140 00:07:04.040 --> 00:07:06.959 And I think we forget that when it is time 141 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:10.800 to shed old versions of you and identities and habits 142 00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:15.000 or interests or anything. It might be hard, and it 143 00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:19.600 feels hard sometimes because we are aware of maybe what 144 00:07:19.800 --> 00:07:22.639 other people will think of us, but also we might 145 00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:27.680 just be internally judging ourselves and seeing how we are different, 146 00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:29.720 and it is going to feel a little bit weird, 147 00:07:29.800 --> 00:07:31.839 and so what I think we really need to remind 148 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:35.800 ourselves is that in this phase, it's so important that 149 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:39.680 we lean more on the joy of discovering our new 150 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:43.279 interests or our new life, or expanding into a new 151 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:47.079 version of us, instead of focusing solely on the fear 152 00:07:47.319 --> 00:07:50.759 that will come out of even people recognizing that we 153 00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:55.160 are changing, or just this blind trust that sometimes you 154 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:58.720 might need to have within yourself and your dream life 155 00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:01.000 that you can have more and that you will have 156 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:04.279 more in your life. And within that community tab post, 157 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:07.000 there was a lot of feedback and some of you 158 00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:09.639 guys were saying, like, Yeah, I totally relate, like I 159 00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:11.959 am stepping out of survival mode, I am wanting more 160 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:14.720 for my life, but I'm also feeling like I'm behind 161 00:08:14.839 --> 00:08:17.199 because I haven't been taking care of myself or I 162 00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:19.680 wasn't focusing on these things. Also, there was a few 163 00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:23.600 of you who were expressing this loneliness that is now 164 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:26.319 a part of your reality because you do want to 165 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:29.680 shift identities and you want to evolve and you want 166 00:08:29.720 --> 00:08:32.840 more for your life, or just the idea that there 167 00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:37.000 are people who will not benefit from you changing, and 168 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.840 you struggle with people pleasing and actually allowing yourself and 169 00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:44.159 giving yourself permission to go towards the life of your dreams. 170 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:49.360 And this is the thing. Growth will always, unfortunately have 171 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:55.120 this small or sometimes big feeling experience of loneliness at times, 172 00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:59.360 because you are going to be jumping timelines in a way, 173 00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:02.159 you know, jumping identity, switching identities however you want to 174 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:04.600 look at it. And there are gonna be a lot 175 00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:07.080 of people who no longer resonate, no longer want to 176 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:09.000 do the things that you want to do, or maybe 177 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:12.480 there's nobody in your current life that is representing some 178 00:09:12.519 --> 00:09:14.559 of the joy that you're feeling when I like, let's say, 179 00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:18.159 for when I'm like watching this vlogger who just excites 180 00:09:18.200 --> 00:09:21.120 me for whatever reason, Like maybe I don't have certain 181 00:09:21.159 --> 00:09:23.159 friends that are doing the same thing, But that doesn't 182 00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:26.240 mean I shouldn't want that and I shouldn't go towards that. 183 00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:28.559 And something I like to tell myself is that I 184 00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:34.720 am allowed to outgrow people or identities or shared experiences 185 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:38.799 with those around me who are used to experiencing life 186 00:09:38.840 --> 00:09:43.600 in its smallness and who are used to experiencing life 187 00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:47.200 in hardship and struggle. But that might mean I might 188 00:09:47.399 --> 00:09:51.440 have to distance, I might have to outgrow, I might 189 00:09:51.559 --> 00:09:55.440 have to create space, But that's okay. And I'm not 190 00:09:55.519 --> 00:09:58.320 a bad person because I want more for my life. 191 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:01.000 And you guys aren't bad people because you want more 192 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:02.840 for your life. And honestly, you just have to think 193 00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:06.159 about the truth of who you are and why you 194 00:10:06.200 --> 00:10:08.639 came to be here, and if you believe in God 195 00:10:08.840 --> 00:10:11.399 or the universe, I think this is easier for you 196 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:14.919 to see when you believe in something outside of yourself. 197 00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:18.720 Is like, we're here to expand and evolve. You're not 198 00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:23.519 here to constantly suffer and just be small in life. 199 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:27.279 So although it might hurt, although it might be uncomfortable, 200 00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:31.039 to let go of people, places in things, and outgrow identities, 201 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.399 it's what is required in your life. You have to 202 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:38.159 let go of the small mindedness of you know, some 203 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:40.840 of the people that you might be around, or just 204 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:43.519 the identity that you just specifically might be living in. 205 00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:46.399 When it comes to just being depressed or sad or healing, like, 206 00:10:46.440 --> 00:10:48.799 you have to let go of these things. You have 207 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:52.240 to allow yourself to evolve. It's not just about healing, 208 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:54.879 but with that there might be a season of your 209 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:58.120 life where things feel a little bit uncomfortable, a little lonely, 210 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:00.960 or you might even be misunderstood, but that is not 211 00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:03.600 a reason for you to stay in this identity. Now, 212 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:05.600 I have a few journal prompts to give you, guys. 213 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:07.720 I haven't given you guys a few in a while, 214 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:09.679 and they will be in the description if you're listening 215 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:12.799 to the podcast on audio. But this can just be 216 00:11:12.840 --> 00:11:15.519 helpful for you to really maybe do like a session, 217 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:18.320 like a journal session, to think about the person you 218 00:11:18.360 --> 00:11:20.559 want to be, letting go of the old versions that 219 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:22.840 don't serve you, and really kind of just setting that 220 00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:26.200 energetic intention for this season you know now that it's 221 00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:28.960 June as well, instead of just going back and forth 222 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.679 of feeling guilty or just staying in guilt or staying 223 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:34.879 in this people pleasing tendency, or feeling bad for wanting 224 00:11:34.919 --> 00:11:37.799 to evolve and things like that. So the first one 225 00:11:38.120 --> 00:11:41.159 is what version of myself am I currently outgrowing? And 226 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:46.840 for me, it's definitely this version of myself who is 227 00:11:47.159 --> 00:11:51.960 constantly feeling like she has to micromanage and control and 228 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:56.240 pre plan every outcome and the girl who doesn't know 229 00:11:56.279 --> 00:11:58.279 how to go with the flow. And I have really 230 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:00.399 been working on that in the past few months, and 231 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:03.120 I am a completely new person when it comes to 232 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:07.159 that identity, Like I honestly don't even really identify with 233 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:10.000 that too much anymore. Another version of myself that I 234 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:13.360 am wanting to outgrow is the person that feels guilty 235 00:12:13.399 --> 00:12:16.000 for wanting the things that she wants, regardless of what 236 00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:20.200 it is. Like, we don't need to find ways to 237 00:12:20.360 --> 00:12:23.279 constantly justify why we want the things that we want 238 00:12:23.480 --> 00:12:26.639 if it's like not something that takes a lot of 239 00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:30.080 hard work, or you know, just the joys in life. 240 00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:33.519 You know, you want a happy, healthy relationship, or you 241 00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:36.480 want to go out for a girl's night, or you 242 00:12:36.519 --> 00:12:39.000 want to care more about your appearance, or you want 243 00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:40.559 a little bit more money so that you can buy 244 00:12:40.600 --> 00:12:44.840 cute outfits, or you know, you actually just want your 245 00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:48.120 social media pages to be filled with things that inspire 246 00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:52.279 you instead of people complaining about the world and problems 247 00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:54.440 and things that we need to fix and things we 248 00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:58.639 need to heal, Like it's okay to want a peaceful life, 249 00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:02.399 Like it's actually okay. So I'm really really just outgrowing that. 250 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:04.759 And I just think when it comes to all of 251 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:06.679 us who you know, you guys who listen to this 252 00:13:06.759 --> 00:13:10.120 podcast and me myself, like we've done so much healing. 253 00:13:10.360 --> 00:13:14.480 We've done the hardship, we've done the depressive episodes, we've 254 00:13:14.480 --> 00:13:17.080 done the self sabotaging. And this is not to mean 255 00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:19.919 that we'll never again like go back into healing phases 256 00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:22.399 and things won't come up, but like it's okay to 257 00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:25.159 like take a break from things and to want a peaceful, 258 00:13:25.320 --> 00:13:27.559 enjoyable life and to laugh and to have fun. And 259 00:13:27.919 --> 00:13:31.399 I always think like my experience as a child was 260 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:34.039 very like looking at everyone else and understanding that it's 261 00:13:34.039 --> 00:13:36.360 okay for them to have what they have, whether it's 262 00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:40.639 abundance or you know, money or great experiences and this that. 263 00:13:40.679 --> 00:13:42.840 But like for me, I'm not allowed or I can't 264 00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:45.679 have that. And that's just really from the experiences that 265 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:47.720 I've had or the things that were given or not 266 00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:52.039 given to me from my upbringing in childhood. And I 267 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.399 just try and remind myself when I see other people 268 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:57.159 who are having clearly a great time in their lives 269 00:13:57.159 --> 00:14:00.399 where they're having healthy relationships, just fun time with their 270 00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:03.600 girlfriends or you know, you know, caring about their health 271 00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:05.480 and wellness and just doing all the things that are 272 00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:09.000 just like luxury living whatever it is, you know, And 273 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:12.279 I look at them and I'm just like, yeah, like 274 00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:14.240 they're allowed to have that, but why am I not? 275 00:14:14.360 --> 00:14:17.320 I remind myself, this is just like an old childhood patterning, 276 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:20.080 Like I have been taught that I need to work 277 00:14:20.120 --> 00:14:22.679 so incredibly hard to the point where I'm exhausted in 278 00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:25.720 my life and things come really hard, and I'm not 279 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:29.600 allowed to have happiness or peace in my life. And 280 00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:31.759 that's just bullshit. And I've worked out of a lot 281 00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:34.759 of that, but I can definitely still see sometimes where 282 00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:37.480 that shows up, and for instant like when I'm watching 283 00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:41.639 that one influencer, like she has a pretty good, amazing life, 284 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:44.080 but why can't I have that too? And I think 285 00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:47.720 a lot of people who are like advocates, who are 286 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:51.919 really like aware and tapped in, we always have this 287 00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:55.440 like me too, Like we always have this reasoning as 288 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:57.279 to why it gets to be easy for them enough 289 00:14:57.320 --> 00:14:59.440 for us, like, oh, well, you know this person like 290 00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:03.320 grew up with easier childhood experiences, or you know they're 291 00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:05.720 from this culture or that and that, and it doesn't 292 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:08.039 mean that none of those things don't play a role. 293 00:15:08.039 --> 00:15:11.360 And that's fine, But for me personally, I do think 294 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:14.120 I have created a lot more hardship than need be 295 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:18.000 and that's simply just from the idea that I'm not 296 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:20.440 allowed to have good things and things need to be 297 00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:22.080 hard in my life and it doesn't need to be that. 298 00:15:22.200 --> 00:15:25.919 And when I remove that mindset and I remind myself 299 00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:28.320 that I am just as worthy as everyone else to 300 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:32.039 have a peaceful life, a happy life, a happy relationship, 301 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:34.960 a healthy relationship, good things in my life, for work 302 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:37.559 to be easy, for work to be aligned, all these things. 303 00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:41.200 When I really let go of a lot of that programming, 304 00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:44.480 my life has and it continues to become a reflection 305 00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:48.000 of those people where I look and I feel into 306 00:15:48.039 --> 00:15:49.879 like whatever it is that I'm feeling into when I'm 307 00:15:49.879 --> 00:15:53.360 watching their lives, like the peace and the serenity and 308 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:56.519 the abundance that I actually deeply want. And that first 309 00:15:56.559 --> 00:15:59.759 does come from me believing and telling myself that it 310 00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:02.399 is possible and I'm allowed to have that life. And 311 00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:04.600 the last journal prompt is who am I ready to 312 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:08.039 step into fully and unapologetically. I think this is really 313 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.919 good to have somebody maybe you look up to, because 314 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:12.679 you can kind of have a reference. I'm not saying 315 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:15.799 to ever try and be somebody you are not, because 316 00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:18.440 obviously you can never actually be that person you look 317 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:20.440 up to because they are them and you are you. 318 00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:23.679 But of course you might pick up qualities or traits 319 00:16:23.799 --> 00:16:25.720 or the way that they move through life from what 320 00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:28.279 you can see. You know, obviously, don't believe absolutely everything 321 00:16:28.279 --> 00:16:30.799 online or whatever. If you're looking at somebody who you 322 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.440 don't maybe know, but it could also be somebody in 323 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:35.559 real life, you know, like who's that person that might 324 00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:39.039 have really positive energy or really good mindset on things, 325 00:16:39.159 --> 00:16:41.720 or maybe they don't stress as much, or they are 326 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.799 really successful at the job that they do, or the 327 00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:47.080 habits that they live by. It is okay to want 328 00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:50.519 something different for yourself and for you to change and evolve. 329 00:16:50.600 --> 00:16:52.519 And I want to say this a good sign to 330 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:58.080 know that life, God, the universe, whatever is calling for 331 00:16:58.200 --> 00:17:03.159 you to change. Is you have that energetic pull or 332 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.920 you have that desire, or you have that joy in 333 00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:08.559 something and you can't stop thinking about it, or you 334 00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:10.279 keep going back to it, or you just feel so 335 00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:13.559 good when you're doing that thing. And it could be 336 00:17:13.599 --> 00:17:15.720 as simple as what I was saying. You know, in 337 00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:18.319 my mornings, I'm just like craving, just like watching a 338 00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:20.920 certain type of logger or a certain type of topic, 339 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:24.160 or I'm interested in this one thing, or every time 340 00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:26.640 that I'm not super controlling on myself, I feel like 341 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:28.680 there's so much ease and flow in my life, and 342 00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:30.720 I end up being more motivated to do the things 343 00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:33.039 that I know are good for myself versus doing all 344 00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:36.440 these things that don't feel good. Like anything that feels 345 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:41.240 good energetically that you want to do more is a 346 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:44.000 really good indicator that you should go in that direction. 347 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:47.440 And there's a difference between that, you know, going the 348 00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:50.039 direction of what makes you feel good and things like 349 00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:52.839 self sabotaging behaviors, because you know, sometimes I think that 350 00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:55.839 people can be like, well, eating a bunch of junk 351 00:17:55.839 --> 00:17:57.920 food makes me feel good. It's like that makes you 352 00:17:57.960 --> 00:17:59.680 feel good for one second, and then you feel a 353 00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:02.400 guilt and shame and then you go into a spiral 354 00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:04.480 and you feel like shit about yourself afterwards, you know, 355 00:18:04.839 --> 00:18:07.720 or that unhealthy relationship, it gives you that like quick 356 00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:10.279 dopamine kick for a second and then you're like crashing down. 357 00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:13.119 I'm not talking about those habits. I'm talking about those 358 00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:16.599 small or big things that really just make you feel 359 00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:20.680 so good and I think it's a journey. It's a 360 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:24.880 huge unlearning and it's a thing that you need to 361 00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:27.839 slow down with in order to even figure out what 362 00:18:28.599 --> 00:18:31.119 you want and what feels good to you. But that 363 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:35.680 first starts with following that intuition, following that feeling, and 364 00:18:35.799 --> 00:18:40.000 letting yourself go in that direction. It's all about permission, 365 00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:43.680 really and truly, you are the one that is either 366 00:18:43.720 --> 00:18:46.079 going to keep yourself stuck in that little jail cell, 367 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:48.799 and it's understandable why you have beliefs and you have 368 00:18:49.079 --> 00:18:50.960 ideas of why you think you should always say in 369 00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:52.759 this jail cell, or it's going to be you allowing 370 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:54.440 yourself to break free. And I think the way that 371 00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.400 you allow yourself to break free and to give yourself 372 00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:59.440 permission is to see what you were doing and how 373 00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:02.480 your life is is when you're not, you know, you're 374 00:19:02.519 --> 00:19:05.279 probably really unhappy doing the same things that you keep 375 00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:07.480 telling yourself that you need to do. Or you're staying 376 00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:09.880 in friendships that do not serve you, or you're doing 377 00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:12.559 everything for everyone else and look at how that's depleting you, 378 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:15.039 or you're just constantly dreading the next day because you 379 00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:16.960 keep telling yourself you do all these things that you 380 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:19.319 don't want to do. And I know there's a lot 381 00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:20.640 of things that we still need to do in our 382 00:19:20.680 --> 00:19:23.319 lives that maybe they're not super in alignment. But there's 383 00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:26.319 so many other things in our lives that we can do, 384 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:30.039 small little steps and ways that we can free ourselves 385 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:32.960 and give ourselves more permission. And actually, if somebody had 386 00:19:33.039 --> 00:19:35.519 DMed me and I had posted that I was at 387 00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:37.279 the spa, I haven't gone to the spawn like so 388 00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:40.759 long to get a facial, and she said, loving that 389 00:19:40.759 --> 00:19:42.759 you're sharing this. I got so motivated to get my 390 00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:45.000 nails done when you posted that you got your nails done, 391 00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:48.039 and it felt like permission. Got engaged that same week, 392 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:50.759 so was so grateful I went, even though I never go, 393 00:19:50.839 --> 00:19:54.400 which first of all, congratulations, like love that we love 394 00:19:54.839 --> 00:19:57.640 getting engaged over here. But this is what I mean, 395 00:19:57.759 --> 00:20:00.640 Like even something as small as lending yoursel, like get 396 00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:02.680 your nails done because you want to get them done, 397 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:04.960 but you feel like guilty or you shouldn't do it 398 00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:07.519 or this that, And I obviously know it depends on 399 00:20:07.559 --> 00:20:10.680 if you have money or whatever, but just those small 400 00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:12.839 things that you just constantly keep telling yourself, like no, 401 00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:14.920