Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: It's me Clayton, brother of Satan, host of the show
Keep her Christes, Chris, introduce yourself.
Speaker 1: I am Chris, Dude, do what I was doing?
Speaker 2: Do that tone of who I am Chris and I
am dead at my internal Do this podcast where we
interview everyone in Hell?
Speaker 1: Is that what I sound like?
Speaker 2: You're adding a little bit of rasp your voice and
it sounds like you're impersonating me. No, if I was
going to do that, it would be more like this, whoa,
whoa who someone's coming from my job. Oh wow, Hey
talk like that. You're You're kind of more attractive when you.
Speaker 1: Talk like that. Oh talk like that? You know what?
Speaker 2: You could be like a backup for that Universal Studios
Beetlejuice Live Production. If you really wanted to be the understudy,
I think you could nail that job.
Speaker 1: Get to know, I always have that back pocket.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got fallback, you got you got you got plans,
you got redundancies to if this gig in Hell ever
falls through. No, there's there's no way this will fall through.
We're we're making so much money. We posted recently on
our social channels if you want to go check those
out at Morning from Hell. Made a bit of a profit,
didn't we, Chris.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, there's a Meta whatever bonus program. We made
a whole one cent. That's right, a whole one cent.
Speaker 3: From Meta, the worst company ever.
Speaker 1: And then, uh, we posted the image of us making
one cent and we made forty six cents from that
one Who So we've created an infinite money machine.
Speaker 2: So then theoretically, like next time, we will make what's
forty six, hold on forty six times.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it multiplies by forty six every
time or it just adds by forty five.
Speaker 2: Well not next time, we'd be making twenty one dollars
and sixteen cents. And then if we multiplied that times
forty six, nine hundred and seventy three thirty six, there's
no way this doesn't work. Multiply that times forty six,
forty four, seven hundred and seventy four and we multify that. Wow,
that was like one two three, Like four small posts
will be millionaires, Chris, Wow, we've broken the system. We
fucking got them. No wonder there's so many billionaires out
there wandering the streets. Okay, let's get into uh this
week's episode shall we.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who is our guest? Who are we interviewing?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, as.
Speaker 2: You know, I am on a top secret mission from Heaven,
so I'm out here. We're interviewing people for in Hell
for our show, you know, but obviously we're also trying
to find people who may have been misplaced, you know,
people that belong up in Heaven that just may have
accidentally ended up here, you know, looked what's in the system.
Speaker 3: So you know, I thought of an easy one. John F. Kennedy,
you know, big president guy.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's in Hell. He's in Hell. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, if getting your brain's blown off is a sin,
I guess he's he's guilty, but I don't otherwise don't
know what the big deal is with JFK.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, well, I guess we should find out.
Speaker 2: How do we summon JFK though, like maybe a Maryland
impression or something.
Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Wow, Hello Loo.
Speaker 4: Jfkate, Hello, I heard someone singing my very favorite song,
Happy Birthday to you brings back very fond memories and
very fond memories.
Speaker 1: JFK.
Speaker 2: You, Doug, Well, welcome to the show. This is get
morted from Hell. I'm sure you've heard of it were
Hell's number one podcast.
Speaker 4: Of course, of course I've heard of this podcast. It's
a very popular podcast. I'm very plugged in with media
these days. I'm going on all the shows, seeing all
the important people, and speaking into any microphone that will
hove into my general field of view.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. So you're like you're out promoting something.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I subscribe to all the lists. I'm looking at
all the charts. I'm in the middle of a book
tour right now. That is my main focus. So of
course I'm paying attention to all the media and all
the possible outlets that I can appear on and of
course talk about my book.
Speaker 1: Will tell us about your book?
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you see my You probably have heard my
life was tragically cut short in the uh okay state
of Texas. I will say great, I'll say Okay state
of Texas. Yeah, and probably i'll say the fourth best
city and.
Speaker 1: State, Yes, Dallas, TX. This is true.
Speaker 4: My life was tragically cut short there. So of course
I didn't get to have what most presidents have, which
is a thorough post presidency career of promoting books and
hawking merchandise.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, you didn't miss out on that. That's
some big money in that.
Speaker 4: One of the favorite things the presidents to do is
to have a term of inaction, getting nothing done, and
then writing a book about all the things that they
theoretically wanted to accomplish. And I never got to do that.
I feel very bad.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, to have missed out on that opportunity,
to have done so little, it.
Speaker 4: Really is a bur in my saddle.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, there's so many things that we could
talk about. I mean, obviously we want to talk about
your book, obviously want to talk about like the sad
demise that you met there in Dallas. But before we
do that, JFK. We actually like to roast listeners of
the show. So would you care to participate in that
with us?
Speaker 4: Why? I would be hon it. What a more appropriate
place to roast someone than the bowles of Hell?
Speaker 3: It's right, yeah's thematic.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to be roasted on the show, you
can sign up on our hatreon good Morning from Hell.
It's like our version of a shout out, except for
we make fun of you. That's right.
Speaker 2: It's only for the low low price of six dollars
and the sixty six ins, and you get access to
a bunch of cool exclusive content, and we got a
bunch more coming on the way. Anyways, let's get to
these roasts. So this first one is from Chris.
Speaker 1: Is this you? Chris? No, I did not. This is
not me. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think you might have jumped yourself up on the list.
I mean, let's read what this guy has to say.
He says, I've run over thirty marathons and ultra marathons,
including an eight day, two hundred and ten mild trek
across half of Iowa.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is not you, Chris, all right different.
Speaker 2: Chris married finally after two failed marriages, to a Canadian.
An embarrassing story or confession, is said that he owns
over ten Lightsabers, forty original Generation one Transformers, and way
too many copies of Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.
Speaker 1: This might be you, Chris? Is this actually you? I'm
not into Transformers, but otherwise it could be me, which
is a roast in of itself.
Speaker 2: He says he also loves things Disney way too much
as a Disney adult.
Speaker 1: Wait, so how many wives did he have?
Speaker 2: He said, two failed engagements in one good one with
the Canadian, so that's obviously a green card marriage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you wouldn't Sorry, you wouldn't know my wife. She
goes to a different country. She's in Canada.
Speaker 2: Yes, he says, I am too old to be embarrassed
about much. But that comes at the cost of being
in bed by nine Ooo, zinger, old man's getting to
bed early.
Speaker 3: Who crazy?
Speaker 4: It's okay, his lightsabers can keep him warm at night.
Speaker 2: What do you even do with ten lightsabers? I don't
even think General Grievis had that many.
Speaker 4: Well, you certainly can't give them to your friends because
I suspect that you don't have that many.
Speaker 3: Well, Chris, he definitely fits the bill as a Chris.
Speaker 1: Thank you Chris for your support and your allegiance to
go on. Nerddom nailed it.
Speaker 2: Nerdom, the struggling field of Nerdom, barely.
Speaker 4: Sting live, circling the drain.
Speaker 1: We got room for one more?
Speaker 3: Do you guys want to do one more?
Speaker 1: Let's do one more?
Speaker 3: Okay, this is from Kara or Kara.
Speaker 2: Their job is a They say dog groomer, but they
also said shaved dog ass. That's yeah, just says shaved
dog gass hyphen dog. So is this a hobby or
a job. They just like shaving dogs. Well, it is
listed under what do you do for a living ie
field of work slash hobbies. So it is to be
determined whether shaving dogs asses is an interest or what
she does for work.
Speaker 4: Look, they say, if you shave dogs asses, you'll never
work a day in your life.
Speaker 2: So Kara is a dog asked shaving enthusiast, who may
also do groom maybe?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so Kara is a groomer.
Speaker 1: Confirmed.
Speaker 4: Let's go ahead and take that completely out of context
print it.
Speaker 2: Kara's embarrassing story slash confession. Oh this is fun. They said,
I also had an encounter with Chris when he was
alive at RTX Rest in Peace. So RTX was old
rooster t he killed obviously, Yes, yes, he was dead
and gone. Might come back now that never mind, We're
not gonna get into that bullshit, Lucy. They said, I
had an encounter with Chris. I was walking to something
and we passed each other on the sidewalk. I waved,
then asked if I could get a picture with him
real quick. He said sure, and he mentioned he was
on his way to something and was like, walk with
me and I just started walking with him wherever he
was going. Eventually he's like, we should probably take that picture.
And about a month later I realized he probably wanted
me to like immediately take the picture as we were
walking and not follow him everywhere like for like several
minutes down the road. I inadvertently became a creep.
Speaker 1: My bad.
Speaker 2: There's not very often that you're the cool one in
these situations.
Speaker 1: That's incredible. I'm sure we had a great conversation.
Speaker 2: You're confirming that you don't remember Kara. Then she had
such little impact on your life that you don't even
remember this happening.
Speaker 4: I think I remember, I save So did you end
up taking the picture in the midst of that Aaron
Sorkin style walk and talk?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure we did. I would love to see
the photo of this, Kara. If you're listening, please send
it in.
Speaker 3: I'm sure they are.
Speaker 2: I'm sure that this doesn't keep them up at night
and making them wake in a cold sweat remembering when
an astatement of themselves at URTA.
Speaker 4: As far as I know, AUTI X was the place
while I'm making an ass of yourself.
Speaker 2: I just love that this person decided that this was
bothering them so much they were willing to pay to
confess about it so that they could lift that burden
from their back.
Speaker 4: Sometimes we have to pay to be unburdened, unyoked by
these sins of our past.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Kara, Thank you Chris, not you Chris other Chris.
Speaker 1: John tell us about this book, what made you want
to write it? Also? How did you write a book?
Speaker 2: Because paper is very flammable, So like, what methods did
you use to write?
Speaker 1: In Hell?
Speaker 4: Well, I had a brimstone tablet and used some volcanic
ash and painstakingly dipped my finger on my tongue and
wrote it out long form on a brimstone tablet. It
took many, many years.
Speaker 1: I guess, since what like sixty nine, you've had to
work on it.
Speaker 4: I've had a lot of time down here in the
bottles of Hell, because again, the President's book, the time
on the tradition of a president writing a book is
the sweetest plum imaginable, and so I needed to get
my side of the story out there. I've included a
lot of wonderful anecdotes and of course excerpts from speeches,
first drafts of speeches that people have never seen before.
Speaker 1: Could you give us a little taste of this yummy
peach or plumbow? Great John, what did you call it?
Some kind of fruit?
Speaker 3: So eloquent with your words?
Speaker 4: Of course, I'd be happy to read. Let me out,
let me find my inauguration speech. This is a first draft,
so again, this is more of a peak behind the
curtain into the mind of a president as he is
assuming the office.
Speaker 1: Well, I do think a lot of people got a
peek into your mind. But that's pretty good. That's pretty dirty. Riz.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I've been sniped twice.
Speaker 1: You absolutely hate to see it.
Speaker 3: Sorry John for his interruption. Go ahead with your speech.
Speaker 4: We observe today not a victory of party, but a
celebration of freedom. The world is very different now. Now
you can see a movie with two girls kissing if
you know the right theater downtown. Oh yauser. And yet
the same revolutionary beliefs for which our warbears fought are
still an issue around the globe. The belief that girls
should kiss in more movies and not just dark, underground
ones that I've heard about but certainly never been to.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 4: Let the word go forth from this time and place
to friend and foe alike that if it is a
skinny brunette and say a redhead want to kiss by
a pool on film, we will permit that we shall
pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardships, support
any friend, to oppose any foe, to assure that girls
all creeds, colors, all religions, whether big, hiped or narrow,
dumb truck or ass lists big natural, hangars or beastings. Okay, oh,
welcome to kiss on film and maybe even more Wow, wow, wow,
thank you.
Speaker 2: Yes, you know the beginning you started out and I
was like, okay, this is a really polished first draft.
It sounds very close to what we got originally. And
then it just took a hard left and wow, I
did not see that other part. You were very did
you run on that platform?
Speaker 4: It was buried very deep, of course, in a lot
of my campaign promises and literature and so not a
lot of people got to hear that side of my campaigning.
Speaker 1: Something you feel very strongly about, I feel very passionate about.
Speaker 3: It was mentioned to no less than five times in
that one speech.
Speaker 4: That almost made it all the way to the pody. Really,
that was very close to how it almost appeared.
Speaker 1: What changed? Yeah, Mike, didn't we hear that it was
lbj Did he step in?
Speaker 4: He didn't do naysayer, Oh you talking about mister Jumbo,
that big dick bastard.
Speaker 2: He loved that speech. What changed your mind? Why did
you alter it? I mean, this is so historic.
Speaker 4: Well, I, of course you know run my speeches by
my advisors and those closest to me, And I remember
reading this for Jackie, your wife, my wife, Jackie is.
I can't tell you how furrowed her brow was as
I progressed through the speech, she was shooting daggers into me,
which you know, something much worse would happen to me,
of course, not too too much later. So I decided,
as her brow got more furrowed, make changes to the
to the document. And they're the one that people know
and have heard today.
Speaker 2: I see, I see what a historic you know, a
piece of literature that you have just granted on our
on our podcast.
Speaker 4: That's incredible, of course, yes, of course. And the book
is full of excerpts and speeches and anecdotes and things
and the things that presidents talk about in their books
and the things that they wanted to accomplish. I in fact,
wanted to put two girls on the moon to kiss,
and not because it's easy because I'm hard.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, don't wonder if we were so motivated as
a country, if that was the original mission statement for
the Apollo missions.
Speaker 3: That's crazy and.
Speaker 4: It makes sense. You really wanted it to be done
by sixty nine, Chris, your shop is attack. That is
exactly right.
Speaker 2: Amazing technology to have it filmed, broadcasted to Earth. It's
all making sense right now.
Speaker 4: It's all coming together.
Speaker 1: So when you're talking about movies, you're talking about documentaries.
Speaker 4: Of course, this was a revolutionary age. I was fortunate
to be up a very small part of it before
I was unceremoniously blown to bits in Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 2: Talk to us about that. There's so much controversy surrounding
your death.
Speaker 3: And you know whether or not.
Speaker 2: Lee Harvey Oswald did it or if it was some
sort of you know, CIA mission, Like, what can you divulge,
mister Kennedy.
Speaker 4: I can tell you that it's no coincidence that Lee
Harvey Oswald was a CIA asset. I'm sure most people
know that by this point. The people that secretly move
behind the curtain. People who are really in charge of
this fine country didn't want to see an incredibly horny
Catholic man rise to the level of presidency and usher
in a new era of prosperity for this nation.
Speaker 1: Would you say it was more about you being Catholic
or would be more about just being horny horny?
Speaker 4: I think it was my voice. They were tired of
hearing this very kind of strange Boston Brahman accent that
is sort of implaceable. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't broadcast.
Speaker 1: Well, you weren't in the first televised presidential debate, and
that broadcast pretty well with Nixon.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's historic, of course, But fellas by contrast, I
was up against Richard M. Nixon. That bar was so
to speak in hell, That guy was sweaty as a
Christmas am.
Speaker 2: They did report that you, mister Kennedy, did makeup and stuff,
which at the time was not a normal thing for
men to do. I suppose, I guess, you know, it
was frowned upon, So I think Nixon passed on it.
Can you tell us about the Nixon debate? You know,
in the moments leading up to.
Speaker 4: It, Television being a new medium at the time for
presidents and people of state, not movie stars, to be
appearing on So of course I decided to sit down
in the makeup chair and get a giant powder puff
splashed on my face. Nixon passed on that because of
course he would have thought that was a sissy thing
to do. He paid the price.
Speaker 2: You looked like shit. Yeah, you know, speaking of Nixon,
he's been on the show before. Do you guys keep
in touch? I mean, what was that relationship?
Speaker 4: Like, I'll be honest with you boys, All the presidents
keep in touch. We all have correspondence. When you rise
to that rank of the highest office in the land,
you do tend to become part of a club of
people who have sat in the Oval office and sit
at the resolute desk in that chair. So we do
send each other correspondence and let us mostly me taunting him,
mostly me making fun of him for being so unsightly
and ghoulish at that debate. He never responds. I turned
the gauntlet at him many times to come and redo
another debate. But I'm afraid he just doesn't have the stones.
Speaker 2: You guys, ever like possess the bodies of the Disney
Hall of presidents and just kind of like shamble around
like robots.
Speaker 4: I would love to do that, but I'm afraid that
the Disney Hall of Presidents, those animatronics are already inhabited
by the souls of people who have.
Speaker 1: Died in the park.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, wow, no room.
Speaker 1: At the end Cuban Missile crisis, did we really get
that close to nuclear war with Russia?
Speaker 4: We absolutely did. We certainly edged to nuclear war. We
got right up to the brink. Oh what a catastrophe.
We really stepped in it. And an I was the
leader of the free world to take a responsibility for that.
And we couldn't have gone worse because we made Castro
into a hero. He was soundly reelected. That was our
whole plan, was to remove him from power. It could
not have blown up in our face, so to speak,
any worse.
Speaker 1: Well, it could it could have. Wow, speak about it.
Speaker 4: You're absolutely right. Let's say it was a close second
to the worst possible outcome that that could have seen,
being slightly embarrassed at our foreign policy and the end
of all life as we know it on this planet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're running a neck and neck race.
Speaker 4: Could be a photo finish.
Speaker 1: Who's to say, so, was that more embarrassing the Cuban
missile crisis or the Bay of Pigs. I guess maybe
now it would be called the Bay of America. Yeah, yeah,
that's right.
Speaker 4: I've heard down here that we in the midst of
renaming bodies of water in impotent attempts to assert our
dominance globally.
Speaker 2: Mister Kennedy, if you knew that you had that ability
to rename great bodies of water, you know, if there
are some names at us that you would have named,
you know, maybe an ocean or a sea, or one
of the great lakes, you know what you've renamed it?
Speaker 4: Of those, I would have called them the great legs.
It's one of my favorite features on a beautiful say
redhead or brunettes, yes, or maybe even a blonde.
Speaker 1: Oh, those are the options. So the great legs, there's
the blonde, the brunette, redhead.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 2: Ah, I see, Okay, So each of the lakes would
have represented a different lady in your life.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right. The great legs kind of connect, right,
so it's kind of like they're kissing.
Speaker 4: Chris, your beautiful genius. You hold, I've got to write
this down I've got an idea for a new book.
Speaker 1: This one's going to be fan fiction, though, I believe
John' do you have anything in your book about your
alleged affair with Maryland Monroe.
Speaker 4: I have a little bit about that. That's what moves
the units. That's what moves the books. People want to know,
you know, they like people to kiss and tell, and
of course legendary horn dog. I don't think that that's
any secret. One of the famous things about Kennedy's is
that we are incredibly lecherous, some say monstrous. Listen, you
don't crank out fourteen children apiece without something going on downstairs.
So of course, yes, I did kiss Maryland and quite
a bit more.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: But you can read it about in the book. I
can't tell everything. I've got to sell these things I
got in advance.
Speaker 2: Of course, of course, speaking of you know your family's legacy,
and you know your descendants and things like that. What
are your thoughts on your nephew Robert.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're aware he just got pointed
to the US Secretary of Health and Human Services.
Speaker 4: I have always said that my nephew RFK. Junior has
a great mind. The worms absolutely love it. They say
it's delicious.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 4: There's always something going through a Kennedy's mind. Could be
a bullet, could be a worm, could be the steering
wheel of an airplane. There's always something going improved Thad
and that fine young man. Oh, I know he's going
to bring around a new age of prosperity to these
United States.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's definitely like a lot of people's dad's like
favorite guy, you know, because they look they're like, look
at his body, but like, what's up with the voice?
Speaker 1: And this is me asking what the fuck is wrong
with that guy's voice? Dude.
Speaker 4: Well, I talk about that in my book. You'll understand
a lot of people talk about the Kennedy curse that
a lot of relatives in our family have the fallen
tragedy made one of the greatest tragedies is my nephew's voice.
I sound like this and he thought he could be
president is absolutely ridiculous, speaking on TV multiple times a
year to the American people. But I have to say,
I want to dispel this right now. There is no
Kennedy curse. If there's one curse to the Kennedy's it's
Irish whiskey. You cannot give a bunch of career alcoholics
access to airplanes, skis and a lot of idle rich time.
This is a law of averages. We're talking about automobiles.
Forget about it. They shouldn't allow us to operate any
sort of moving vehicle.
Speaker 1: Did your nephew sound like that as a child? Like
what you sound like? Yeah?
Speaker 2: What happened to Robert's voice? Did he have like some
sort of traumatic experience to his throat or something?
Speaker 4: If I'm not mistaken, he ate some sort of a
possum meat that he found by the side of the road.
He is a third carrion bird on his mother's side,
so he likes to pick up various caucases from the
side of the road, like any normal American out there forging,
pulling himself up by their bootstraps, maybe eating those boot
straps in the harshest of winters. So I believe he
ate some sort of possum meat and it was not
fully cooked and it damaged his vocal cords. Tragic, It's
a real tragedy that he will be a high ranking
official in our government for the next four.
Speaker 1: Years now, I'm sure just four years.
Speaker 2: Age you go by real quick without all the that sies.
Should be a fun time, should be great.
Speaker 4: I just read if that bird flu is spreading through milk. Now,
so this raw milk craze might solve itself. Oh, we
might be having a lot more guests on the show.
Speaker 1: Your wife, Jackie oute, was she aware of some of
your sins?
Speaker 4: I mean, the woman had eyes and also a nose
to smell sheets. I believe she was well aware. One
thing you have to understand is that being a president
of the United States is mostly committing crimes. Oh, mostly
doing crimes most of the time. And to avail ourselves
of the stress of that, we seek the comfort of
the Connell pleasures. And I was not immune to the
siren song of say a redhead or a brunette, or
maybe even a blonde. I was very, very interested in
those outlets. And I think Jackie was well away. God
rest us all. Yeah, yeah, I am sending her a
free copy of the book though. Oh that's great, that's good.
Speaker 3: Good for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is the least I could do for all
my shall we say, indiscretions.
Speaker 2: And so when you came to the afterlife after you
got boom, headshoted three sixty noscope. I believe I've heard
that Lee Harvey oswol did in fact invent that.
Speaker 1: Is that true? That is very true? He did. Wow,
that's incredible.
Speaker 2: You know, after you had passed away, What was your
reaction to seeing your blood and guts splattered on Jackie's
outfit and that.
Speaker 3: She continued to wear that for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1: How did you feel about that?
Speaker 4: I thought that was incredibly noble, incredibly brave. Also, that
was a very expensive outfit and now even more valuable
with a president's gray matta, one of the rarest presidential
seals one canvastow.
Speaker 1: I really just had to bite the bullet on that.
Ohh so to speak Zinga all right, John, how do
you feel about being such a famous airport?
Speaker 4: Along with the book that the president gets to write
after their term in office, one of the second highest
honors is getting a airport named after you. It is
one of the finest things a president can be known for,
especially from a family of people who have died in
so many played crushes. It's nice to have an airport
named after you that is not in any way tempting fate.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know that they have the President George
Bush Turnpike up in Dallas. But uh, yeah, that is
that is interesting, that's cool. Would there be anything else
that you would want to bear your name some official
building or place that you would want John F.
Speaker 3: Kennedy scrawled in front of?
Speaker 4: Something I propose in my book toward the end is
I think we need a new Mount Rushmore of presidents
that have done great things outside of our forefathers, which
I'm proposing a new monument called Mount Crushmore, And it
is a president's who absolutely slayed trim coast to coast,
and I would of course like to be a front
and center on Mount Crushmore.
Speaker 2: Now would it be just you guys's like heads or
would it be more detailed?
Speaker 1: Which head?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, of course these would be full body, head
to toe. You'd get the entire thing, the whole McGill.
Speaker 3: Who else would join you on Mount Crushmore?
Speaker 2: Was it?
Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am, Crushmore for presidents who get down as low
as I am to say. Of course Lbj's got to
be on there, Dick, Sure, of course.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 4: It's going to take the sculptor quite a bit.
Speaker 1: He's got to let the.
Speaker 4: Trousers out, might have to fly in some new mountain,
that is correct. Taft, of course, gotta have to put
taft on there. Yeah, you know, what the heck, we'll
throw Nixon on there.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I know he was.
Speaker 4: I'm extending in olive branch.
Speaker 1: It's very big of you. That's great. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he will be, of course, be seated beneath us,
and we will have a tasteful waterfall falling off of
Genitalia onto his head.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: I imagine Clinton's got to be involved in this as well. Right,
He's going to be up there?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, of course, yes, no, Clinton, Absolutely, He's
right next to me. The sculpture will have my arm
around his shoulders as we wolf whistle and go u
uga from sea to shining Sea.
Speaker 1: Very cool, very cool. Oh man, that is such a
beautiful monument. I just can't wait to read about it
in your book.
Speaker 4: I have detailed blueprints, plans, everything is included in the
so be sure to pick it up. It should be
out this summer.
Speaker 1: And last question, do you know why you're in Hell?
Speaker 4: I kind of think of everything we've talked about today
is probably a good indication of why I am here.
Speaker 1: In Hell.
Speaker 4: And of course, as I said, be presidents mostly committing crimes,
you are overseeing the pain and suffering of an entire
nation of people. Sort of earns you the fast pass
to Hell.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for your honesty, thank you for your candor.
Appreciate you coming by.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, the only president that does in heaven is Jimmy Cattera.
Oh of course, yeah, I know he just got there
not too long ago. But of course you know, we'll
see him at the reunion. Can't wait to read your book.
And thanks for coming on the show. Thank you very much, Clayton,
Thank you, Chris. It was an honor to be here.
Remember stay tuned next summer. The great Legs coming to
bodies of water near you, I guess.
Speaker 1: Thank you gentlemen.
Speaker 2: Ah, we just floated away. I didn't know you had
that ability. That was incredible.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's one of those like presidential things that give you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, anyways, thank you guys for listening to another episode
of Good Morning from Hell.
Speaker 1: That was a good one.
Speaker 2: Chris was good and now we know you know my
secret mission whether or not JFK should be down.
Speaker 3: Here is in fact belongs squarely here in Hell.
Speaker 1: That's great, And if you want to get roasted on
the show, be sure to go to good Morning from
Hell dot com and sign up. And thank you to
everyone who supports us.
Speaker 2: Even if you're there and you're like, I don't want
to spend six dollars sixty six cents right now, it's
not for a free membership. It still helps us show
out a huge way, and you'll get a lot of
updates because that's where.
Speaker 3: We post all of our good stuff is there on
the Patreon.
Speaker 1: Yeah cool, all right, well Clayton, hello, Andrew rosis thank
you for coming out of the show again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you, of course. Anytime this is the blast.
Speaker 1: I'm glad.
Speaker 4: I'm glad it's back. I'm glad I get to be
a guest on the show. It's always so much fun.
Speaker 2: Well, not only are you a guest on the new
run of shows, which you know, you were like probably
our most visited guest on the original run.
Speaker 1: You were on the show probably more than anyone. I'd
mean definitely, I would just say definitely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh wow, okay, but the music that you hear
for our theme song, now that was by you, wasn't
it not.
Speaker 4: That's true, that's right. I forget. Absolutely. Yeah. The new
theme song is by Yours truly. Yeah right, that was
a lot of fun. Yeah, slinky hard rock tune. That
was cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when we were doing the reboot, we needed new music.
And Andrew is talented in many ways, both in comedy, art, music,
martial arts, yes.
Speaker 4: Deadly, in seven different forms of combat.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But yeah, and you helped us out with that absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was honored to do it because, yeah, this is
a great show.
Speaker 1: Andrew.
Speaker 3: Where can the people find you? Because you also have
a podcast of your own.
Speaker 4: Absolutely yeah. So former Rooster Chief Batties, myself, Armando Torres,
and Kayla Milton have a show called Boyfriend Material, a
relationship advice show guaranteed to ruin your relationship. People writing
questions about problems they're having their relationship, or questions that
they have or you know, just stuff related to romance
or love or relationships. And we then take those questions,
don't answer them, and riff for thirty minutes question just
about whatever, and then sometimes we sometimes give good advice.
I think actually a couple of times we've actually given
some good advice. But I mean it's just a comedy show.
It's just a lot of fun. I love Armando and
Grip so much. When we had the tenure at RTP,
we just wanted to keep the train rolling because it
was so much fun. So boyfriend material wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys bring such a weird, chaotic energy. Like
I remember even there towards the end when we were
shutting down and everyone was kind of like loosening up
a little bit. You guys were saying stuff where I
was like, I was constantly holding my my hands, like
what are they going to reveal? What are they gonna say?
You guys have very funny, candid takes and it is
a fun listen. Also, Griff pitched the concept of boyfriend
material to me, and it was something along the lines of,
like we have a person who's polyamorous. There was like
all these things that like made your podcast the most
unique uhetive over all bases relationship podcasts.
Speaker 4: I think, so we kind of covered the gamut in
terms of like types of relationship. Also, I think I'm
a little bit older than Griffin and Armando too, so
I think we also like represent different perspectives demographically too.
So yeah, I think we offer some weird, if not
helpful insight into our liststeners questions.
Speaker 1: So it's a great show, great cast. Everyone to go
subscribe right now to your show material. And then we're
also going to go talk about our sense on why
we're going to hell, so you can catch that next week.
Let's go Bye,