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Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.

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Speaker 2: It's me Clayton, brother of Satan, host of the show

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Keep her Christes, Chris, introduce yourself.

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Speaker 1: I am Chris, Dude, do what I was doing?

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Speaker 2: Do that tone of who I am Chris and I

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am dead at my internal Do this podcast where we

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interview everyone in Hell?

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Speaker 1: Is that what I sound like?

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Speaker 2: You're adding a little bit of rasp your voice and

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it sounds like you're impersonating me. No, if I was

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going to do that, it would be more like this, whoa,

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whoa who someone's coming from my job. Oh wow, Hey

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talk like that. You're You're kind of more attractive when you.

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Speaker 1: Talk like that. Oh talk like that? You know what?

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Speaker 2: You could be like a backup for that Universal Studios

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Beetlejuice Live Production. If you really wanted to be the understudy,

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I think you could nail that job.

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Speaker 1: Get to know, I always have that back pocket.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you got fallback, you got you got you got plans,

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you got redundancies to if this gig in Hell ever

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falls through. No, there's there's no way this will fall through.

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We're we're making so much money. We posted recently on

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our social channels if you want to go check those

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out at Morning from Hell. Made a bit of a profit,

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didn't we, Chris.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, there's a Meta whatever bonus program. We made

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a whole one cent. That's right, a whole one cent.

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Speaker 3: From Meta, the worst company ever.

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Speaker 1: And then, uh, we posted the image of us making

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one cent and we made forty six cents from that

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one Who So we've created an infinite money machine.

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Speaker 2: So then theoretically, like next time, we will make what's

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forty six, hold on forty six times.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it multiplies by forty six every

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time or it just adds by forty five.

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Speaker 2: Well not next time, we'd be making twenty one dollars

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and sixteen cents. And then if we multiplied that times

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forty six, nine hundred and seventy three thirty six, there's

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no way this doesn't work. Multiply that times forty six,

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forty four, seven hundred and seventy four and we multify that. Wow,

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that was like one two three, Like four small posts

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will be millionaires, Chris, Wow, we've broken the system. We

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fucking got them. No wonder there's so many billionaires out

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there wandering the streets. Okay, let's get into uh this

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week's episode shall we.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, who is our guest? Who are we interviewing?

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, as.

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Speaker 2: You know, I am on a top secret mission from Heaven,

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so I'm out here. We're interviewing people for in Hell

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for our show, you know, but obviously we're also trying

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to find people who may have been misplaced, you know,

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people that belong up in Heaven that just may have

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accidentally ended up here, you know, looked what's in the system.

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Speaker 3: So you know, I thought of an easy one. John F. Kennedy,

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you know, big president guy.

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Speaker 1: Oh, he's in Hell. He's in Hell. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if getting your brain's blown off is a sin,

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I guess he's he's guilty, but I don't otherwise don't

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know what the big deal is with JFK.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, well, I guess we should find out.

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Speaker 2: How do we summon JFK though, like maybe a Maryland

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impression or something.

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Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Wow, Hello Loo.

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Speaker 4: Jfkate, Hello, I heard someone singing my very favorite song,

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Happy Birthday to you brings back very fond memories and

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very fond memories.

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Speaker 1: JFK.

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Speaker 2: You, Doug, Well, welcome to the show. This is get

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morted from Hell. I'm sure you've heard of it were

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Hell's number one podcast.

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Speaker 4: Of course, of course I've heard of this podcast. It's

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a very popular podcast. I'm very plugged in with media

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these days. I'm going on all the shows, seeing all

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the important people, and speaking into any microphone that will

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hove into my general field of view.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. So you're like you're out promoting something.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, I subscribe to all the lists. I'm looking at

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all the charts. I'm in the middle of a book

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tour right now. That is my main focus. So of

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course I'm paying attention to all the media and all

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the possible outlets that I can appear on and of

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course talk about my book.

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Speaker 1: Will tell us about your book?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well you see my You probably have heard my

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life was tragically cut short in the uh okay state

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of Texas. I will say great, I'll say Okay state

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of Texas. Yeah, and probably i'll say the fourth best

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city and.

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Speaker 1: State, Yes, Dallas, TX. This is true.

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Speaker 4: My life was tragically cut short there. So of course

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I didn't get to have what most presidents have, which

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is a thorough post presidency career of promoting books and

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hawking merchandise.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, you didn't miss out on that. That's

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some big money in that.

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Speaker 4: One of the favorite things the presidents to do is

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to have a term of inaction, getting nothing done, and

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then writing a book about all the things that they

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theoretically wanted to accomplish. And I never got to do that.

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I feel very bad.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, to have missed out on that opportunity,

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to have done so little, it.

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Speaker 4: Really is a bur in my saddle.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, there's so many things that we could

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talk about. I mean, obviously we want to talk about

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your book, obviously want to talk about like the sad

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demise that you met there in Dallas. But before we

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do that, JFK. We actually like to roast listeners of

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the show. So would you care to participate in that

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with us?

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Speaker 4: Why? I would be hon it. What a more appropriate

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place to roast someone than the bowles of Hell?

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Speaker 3: It's right, yeah's thematic.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like to be roasted on the show, you

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can sign up on our hatreon good Morning from Hell.

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It's like our version of a shout out, except for

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we make fun of you. That's right.

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Speaker 2: It's only for the low low price of six dollars

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and the sixty six ins, and you get access to

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a bunch of cool exclusive content, and we got a

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bunch more coming on the way. Anyways, let's get to

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these roasts. So this first one is from Chris.

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Speaker 1: Is this you? Chris? No, I did not. This is

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not me. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think you might have jumped yourself up on the list.

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I mean, let's read what this guy has to say.

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He says, I've run over thirty marathons and ultra marathons,

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including an eight day, two hundred and ten mild trek

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across half of Iowa.

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is not you, Chris, all right different.

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Speaker 2: Chris married finally after two failed marriages, to a Canadian.

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An embarrassing story or confession, is said that he owns

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over ten Lightsabers, forty original Generation one Transformers, and way

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too many copies of Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

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Speaker 1: This might be you, Chris? Is this actually you? I'm

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not into Transformers, but otherwise it could be me, which

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is a roast in of itself.

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Speaker 2: He says he also loves things Disney way too much

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as a Disney adult.

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Speaker 1: Wait, so how many wives did he have?

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Speaker 2: He said, two failed engagements in one good one with

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the Canadian, so that's obviously a green card marriage.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you wouldn't Sorry, you wouldn't know my wife. She

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goes to a different country. She's in Canada.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he says, I am too old to be embarrassed

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about much. But that comes at the cost of being

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in bed by nine Ooo, zinger, old man's getting to

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bed early.

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Speaker 3: Who crazy?

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Speaker 4: It's okay, his lightsabers can keep him warm at night.

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Speaker 2: What do you even do with ten lightsabers? I don't

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even think General Grievis had that many.

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Speaker 4: Well, you certainly can't give them to your friends because

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I suspect that you don't have that many.

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Speaker 3: Well, Chris, he definitely fits the bill as a Chris.

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Speaker 1: Thank you Chris for your support and your allegiance to

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go on. Nerddom nailed it.

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Speaker 2: Nerdom, the struggling field of Nerdom, barely.

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Speaker 4: Sting live, circling the drain.

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Speaker 1: We got room for one more?

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Speaker 3: Do you guys want to do one more?

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Speaker 1: Let's do one more?

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is from Kara or Kara.

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Speaker 2: Their job is a They say dog groomer, but they

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also said shaved dog ass. That's yeah, just says shaved

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dog gass hyphen dog. So is this a hobby or

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a job. They just like shaving dogs. Well, it is

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listed under what do you do for a living ie

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field of work slash hobbies. So it is to be

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determined whether shaving dogs asses is an interest or what

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she does for work.

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Speaker 4: Look, they say, if you shave dogs asses, you'll never

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work a day in your life.

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Speaker 2: So Kara is a dog asked shaving enthusiast, who may

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also do groom maybe?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so Kara is a groomer.

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Speaker 1: Confirmed.

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Speaker 4: Let's go ahead and take that completely out of context

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print it.

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Speaker 2: Kara's embarrassing story slash confession. Oh this is fun. They said,

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I also had an encounter with Chris when he was

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alive at RTX Rest in Peace. So RTX was old

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rooster t he killed obviously, Yes, yes, he was dead

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and gone. Might come back now that never mind, We're

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not gonna get into that bullshit, Lucy. They said, I

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had an encounter with Chris. I was walking to something

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and we passed each other on the sidewalk. I waved,

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then asked if I could get a picture with him

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real quick. He said sure, and he mentioned he was

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on his way to something and was like, walk with

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me and I just started walking with him wherever he

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was going. Eventually he's like, we should probably take that picture.

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And about a month later I realized he probably wanted

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me to like immediately take the picture as we were

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walking and not follow him everywhere like for like several

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minutes down the road. I inadvertently became a creep.

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Speaker 1: My bad.

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Speaker 2: There's not very often that you're the cool one in

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these situations.

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Speaker 1: That's incredible. I'm sure we had a great conversation.

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Speaker 2: You're confirming that you don't remember Kara. Then she had

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such little impact on your life that you don't even

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remember this happening.

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Speaker 4: I think I remember, I save So did you end

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up taking the picture in the midst of that Aaron

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Sorkin style walk and talk?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure we did. I would love to see

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the photo of this, Kara. If you're listening, please send

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it in.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure they are.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure that this doesn't keep them up at night

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and making them wake in a cold sweat remembering when

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an astatement of themselves at URTA.

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Speaker 4: As far as I know, AUTI X was the place

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while I'm making an ass of yourself.

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Speaker 2: I just love that this person decided that this was

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bothering them so much they were willing to pay to

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confess about it so that they could lift that burden

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from their back.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes we have to pay to be unburdened, unyoked by

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these sins of our past.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Kara, Thank you Chris, not you Chris other Chris.

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Speaker 1: John tell us about this book, what made you want

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to write it? Also? How did you write a book?

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Speaker 2: Because paper is very flammable, So like, what methods did

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you use to write?

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Speaker 1: In Hell?

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Speaker 4: Well, I had a brimstone tablet and used some volcanic

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ash and painstakingly dipped my finger on my tongue and

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wrote it out long form on a brimstone tablet. It

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took many, many years.

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Speaker 1: I guess, since what like sixty nine, you've had to

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work on it.

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Speaker 4: I've had a lot of time down here in the

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bottles of Hell, because again, the President's book, the time

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on the tradition of a president writing a book is

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the sweetest plum imaginable, and so I needed to get

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my side of the story out there. I've included a

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lot of wonderful anecdotes and of course excerpts from speeches,

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first drafts of speeches that people have never seen before.

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Speaker 1: Could you give us a little taste of this yummy

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peach or plumbow? Great John, what did you call it?

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Some kind of fruit?

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Speaker 3: So eloquent with your words?

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Speaker 4: Of course, I'd be happy to read. Let me out,

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let me find my inauguration speech. This is a first draft,

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so again, this is more of a peak behind the

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curtain into the mind of a president as he is

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assuming the office.

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Speaker 1: Well, I do think a lot of people got a

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peek into your mind. But that's pretty good. That's pretty dirty. Riz.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I've been sniped twice.

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Speaker 1: You absolutely hate to see it.

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Speaker 3: Sorry John for his interruption. Go ahead with your speech.

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Speaker 4: We observe today not a victory of party, but a

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celebration of freedom. The world is very different now. Now

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you can see a movie with two girls kissing if

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you know the right theater downtown. Oh yauser. And yet

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the same revolutionary beliefs for which our warbears fought are

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still an issue around the globe. The belief that girls

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should kiss in more movies and not just dark, underground

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ones that I've heard about but certainly never been to.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 4: Let the word go forth from this time and place

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to friend and foe alike that if it is a

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skinny brunette and say a redhead want to kiss by

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a pool on film, we will permit that we shall

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pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardships, support

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any friend, to oppose any foe, to assure that girls

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all creeds, colors, all religions, whether big, hiped or narrow,

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dumb truck or ass lists big natural, hangars or beastings. Okay, oh,

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welcome to kiss on film and maybe even more Wow, wow, wow,

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thank you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you know the beginning you started out and I

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was like, okay, this is a really polished first draft.

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It sounds very close to what we got originally. And

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then it just took a hard left and wow, I

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did not see that other part. You were very did

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you run on that platform?

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Speaker 4: It was buried very deep, of course, in a lot

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of my campaign promises and literature and so not a

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lot of people got to hear that side of my campaigning.

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Speaker 1: Something you feel very strongly about, I feel very passionate about.

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Speaker 3: It was mentioned to no less than five times in

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that one speech.

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Speaker 4: That almost made it all the way to the pody. Really,

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that was very close to how it almost appeared.

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Speaker 1: What changed? Yeah, Mike, didn't we hear that it was

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lbj Did he step in?

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Speaker 4: He didn't do naysayer, Oh you talking about mister Jumbo,

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that big dick bastard.

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Speaker 2: He loved that speech. What changed your mind? Why did

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you alter it? I mean, this is so historic.

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Speaker 4: Well, I, of course you know run my speeches by

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my advisors and those closest to me, And I remember

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reading this for Jackie, your wife, my wife, Jackie is.

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I can't tell you how furrowed her brow was as

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I progressed through the speech, she was shooting daggers into me,

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which you know, something much worse would happen to me,

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of course, not too too much later. So I decided,

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as her brow got more furrowed, make changes to the

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to the document. And they're the one that people know

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and have heard today.

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Speaker 2: I see, I see what a historic you know, a

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piece of literature that you have just granted on our

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on our podcast.

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Speaker 4: That's incredible, of course, yes, of course. And the book

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is full of excerpts and speeches and anecdotes and things

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and the things that presidents talk about in their books

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and the things that they wanted to accomplish. I in fact,

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wanted to put two girls on the moon to kiss,

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and not because it's easy because I'm hard.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, don't wonder if we were so motivated as

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a country, if that was the original mission statement for

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the Apollo missions.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy and.

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Speaker 4: It makes sense. You really wanted it to be done

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by sixty nine, Chris, your shop is attack. That is

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exactly right.

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Speaker 2: Amazing technology to have it filmed, broadcasted to Earth. It's

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all making sense right now.

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Speaker 4: It's all coming together.

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Speaker 1: So when you're talking about movies, you're talking about documentaries.

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Speaker 4: Of course, this was a revolutionary age. I was fortunate

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to be up a very small part of it before

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I was unceremoniously blown to bits in Dallas, Texas.

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Speaker 2: Talk to us about that. There's so much controversy surrounding

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your death.

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Speaker 3: And you know whether or not.

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Speaker 2: Lee Harvey Oswald did it or if it was some

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sort of you know, CIA mission, Like, what can you divulge,

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mister Kennedy.

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Speaker 4: I can tell you that it's no coincidence that Lee

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Harvey Oswald was a CIA asset. I'm sure most people

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know that by this point. The people that secretly move

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behind the curtain. People who are really in charge of

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this fine country didn't want to see an incredibly horny

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Catholic man rise to the level of presidency and usher

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in a new era of prosperity for this nation.

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Speaker 1: Would you say it was more about you being Catholic

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or would be more about just being horny horny?

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Speaker 4: I think it was my voice. They were tired of

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hearing this very kind of strange Boston Brahman accent that

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is sort of implaceable. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't broadcast.

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Speaker 1: Well, you weren't in the first televised presidential debate, and

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that broadcast pretty well with Nixon.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's historic, of course, But fellas by contrast, I

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was up against Richard M. Nixon. That bar was so

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to speak in hell, That guy was sweaty as a

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Christmas am.

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Speaker 2: They did report that you, mister Kennedy, did makeup and stuff,

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which at the time was not a normal thing for

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men to do. I suppose, I guess, you know, it

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was frowned upon, So I think Nixon passed on it.

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Can you tell us about the Nixon debate? You know,

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in the moments leading up to.

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Speaker 4: It, Television being a new medium at the time for

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presidents and people of state, not movie stars, to be

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appearing on So of course I decided to sit down

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in the makeup chair and get a giant powder puff

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splashed on my face. Nixon passed on that because of

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course he would have thought that was a sissy thing

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to do. He paid the price.

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Speaker 2: You looked like shit. Yeah, you know, speaking of Nixon,

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he's been on the show before. Do you guys keep

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in touch? I mean, what was that relationship?

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Speaker 4: Like, I'll be honest with you boys, All the presidents

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keep in touch. We all have correspondence. When you rise

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to that rank of the highest office in the land,

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you do tend to become part of a club of

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people who have sat in the Oval office and sit

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at the resolute desk in that chair. So we do

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send each other correspondence and let us mostly me taunting him,

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mostly me making fun of him for being so unsightly

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and ghoulish at that debate. He never responds. I turned

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the gauntlet at him many times to come and redo

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another debate. But I'm afraid he just doesn't have the stones.

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Speaker 2: You guys, ever like possess the bodies of the Disney

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Hall of presidents and just kind of like shamble around

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like robots.

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Speaker 4: I would love to do that, but I'm afraid that

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the Disney Hall of Presidents, those animatronics are already inhabited

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by the souls of people who have.

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Speaker 1: Died in the park.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow, wow, no room.

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Speaker 1: At the end Cuban Missile crisis, did we really get

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that close to nuclear war with Russia?

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Speaker 4: We absolutely did. We certainly edged to nuclear war. We

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got right up to the brink. Oh what a catastrophe.

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We really stepped in it. And an I was the

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leader of the free world to take a responsibility for that.

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And we couldn't have gone worse because we made Castro

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into a hero. He was soundly reelected. That was our

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whole plan, was to remove him from power. It could

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not have blown up in our face, so to speak,

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any worse.

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Speaker 1: Well, it could it could have. Wow, speak about it.

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Speaker 4: You're absolutely right. Let's say it was a close second

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to the worst possible outcome that that could have seen,

401
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being slightly embarrassed at our foreign policy and the end

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of all life as we know it on this planet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're running a neck and neck race.

404
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Speaker 4: Could be a photo finish.

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Speaker 1: Who's to say, so, was that more embarrassing the Cuban

406
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missile crisis or the Bay of Pigs. I guess maybe

407
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now it would be called the Bay of America. Yeah, yeah,

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that's right.

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Speaker 4: I've heard down here that we in the midst of

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renaming bodies of water in impotent attempts to assert our

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dominance globally.

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Speaker 2: Mister Kennedy, if you knew that you had that ability

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to rename great bodies of water, you know, if there

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are some names at us that you would have named,

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you know, maybe an ocean or a sea, or one

416
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of the great lakes, you know what you've renamed it?

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Speaker 4: Of those, I would have called them the great legs.

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It's one of my favorite features on a beautiful say

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redhead or brunettes, yes, or maybe even a blonde.

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Speaker 1: Oh, those are the options. So the great legs, there's

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the blonde, the brunette, redhead.

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Speaker 4: That's right.

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Speaker 2: Ah, I see, Okay, So each of the lakes would

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have represented a different lady in your life.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's right. The great legs kind of connect, right,

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so it's kind of like they're kissing.

427
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Speaker 4: Chris, your beautiful genius. You hold, I've got to write

428
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this down I've got an idea for a new book.

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Speaker 1: This one's going to be fan fiction, though, I believe

430
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John' do you have anything in your book about your

431
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alleged affair with Maryland Monroe.

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Speaker 4: I have a little bit about that. That's what moves

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the units. That's what moves the books. People want to know,

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you know, they like people to kiss and tell, and

435
00:17:38,839 --> 00:17:42,079
of course legendary horn dog. I don't think that that's

436
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any secret. One of the famous things about Kennedy's is

437
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that we are incredibly lecherous, some say monstrous. Listen, you

438
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don't crank out fourteen children apiece without something going on downstairs.

439
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So of course, yes, I did kiss Maryland and quite

440
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a bit more.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 4: But you can read it about in the book. I

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can't tell everything. I've got to sell these things I

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got in advance.

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Speaker 2: Of course, of course, speaking of you know your family's legacy,

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and you know your descendants and things like that. What

447
00:18:05,799 --> 00:18:07,599
are your thoughts on your nephew Robert.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you're aware he just got pointed

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to the US Secretary of Health and Human Services.

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Speaker 4: I have always said that my nephew RFK. Junior has

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a great mind. The worms absolutely love it. They say

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it's delicious.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 4: There's always something going through a Kennedy's mind. Could be

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a bullet, could be a worm, could be the steering

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wheel of an airplane. There's always something going improved Thad

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and that fine young man. Oh, I know he's going

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to bring around a new age of prosperity to these

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United States.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's definitely like a lot of people's dad's like

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favorite guy, you know, because they look they're like, look

463
00:18:45,319 --> 00:18:47,759
at his body, but like, what's up with the voice?

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Speaker 1: And this is me asking what the fuck is wrong

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with that guy's voice? Dude.

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Speaker 4: Well, I talk about that in my book. You'll understand

467
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a lot of people talk about the Kennedy curse that

468
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a lot of relatives in our family have the fallen

469
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tragedy made one of the greatest tragedies is my nephew's voice.

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I sound like this and he thought he could be

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president is absolutely ridiculous, speaking on TV multiple times a

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year to the American people. But I have to say,

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I want to dispel this right now. There is no

474
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,960
Kennedy curse. If there's one curse to the Kennedy's it's

475
00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:22,480
Irish whiskey. You cannot give a bunch of career alcoholics

476
00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:26,480
access to airplanes, skis and a lot of idle rich time.

477
00:19:26,759 --> 00:19:29,680
This is a law of averages. We're talking about automobiles.

478
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:32,359
Forget about it. They shouldn't allow us to operate any

479
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,480
sort of moving vehicle.

480
00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 1: Did your nephew sound like that as a child? Like

481
00:19:36,799 --> 00:19:37,680
what you sound like? Yeah?

482
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,839
Speaker 2: What happened to Robert's voice? Did he have like some

483
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,440
sort of traumatic experience to his throat or something?

484
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,880
Speaker 4: If I'm not mistaken, he ate some sort of a

485
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:47,400
possum meat that he found by the side of the road.

486
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:50,079
He is a third carrion bird on his mother's side,

487
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,359
so he likes to pick up various caucases from the

488
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,920
side of the road, like any normal American out there forging,

489
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,000
pulling himself up by their bootstraps, maybe eating those boot

490
00:20:00,079 --> 00:20:02,599
straps in the harshest of winters. So I believe he

491
00:20:02,759 --> 00:20:04,599
ate some sort of possum meat and it was not

492
00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:07,960
fully cooked and it damaged his vocal cords. Tragic, It's

493
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,039
a real tragedy that he will be a high ranking

494
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,039
official in our government for the next four.

495
00:20:14,039 --> 00:20:16,319
Speaker 1: Years now, I'm sure just four years.

496
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,160
Speaker 2: Age you go by real quick without all the that sies.

497
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,519
Should be a fun time, should be great.

498
00:20:19,599 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 4: I just read if that bird flu is spreading through milk. Now,

499
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,200
so this raw milk craze might solve itself. Oh, we

500
00:20:25,319 --> 00:20:27,200
might be having a lot more guests on the show.

501
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 1: Your wife, Jackie oute, was she aware of some of

502
00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:32,160
your sins?

503
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 4: I mean, the woman had eyes and also a nose

504
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,079
to smell sheets. I believe she was well aware. One

505
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,680
thing you have to understand is that being a president

506
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,400
of the United States is mostly committing crimes. Oh, mostly

507
00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:48,039
doing crimes most of the time. And to avail ourselves

508
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,599
of the stress of that, we seek the comfort of

509
00:20:50,839 --> 00:20:53,519
the Connell pleasures. And I was not immune to the

510
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,759
siren song of say a redhead or a brunette, or

511
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:59,640
maybe even a blonde. I was very, very interested in

512
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,519
those outlets. And I think Jackie was well away. God

513
00:21:02,599 --> 00:21:05,000
rest us all. Yeah, yeah, I am sending her a

514
00:21:05,039 --> 00:21:07,160
free copy of the book though. Oh that's great, that's good.

515
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:07,599
Speaker 3: Good for you.

516
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:09,599
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is the least I could do for all

517
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,359
my shall we say, indiscretions.

518
00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 2: And so when you came to the afterlife after you

519
00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:18,319
got boom, headshoted three sixty noscope. I believe I've heard

520
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,720
that Lee Harvey oswol did in fact invent that.

521
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: Is that true? That is very true? He did. Wow,

522
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,079
that's incredible.

523
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,599
Speaker 2: You know, after you had passed away, What was your

524
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,640
reaction to seeing your blood and guts splattered on Jackie's

525
00:21:30,839 --> 00:21:31,440
outfit and that.

526
00:21:31,519 --> 00:21:33,279
Speaker 3: She continued to wear that for the rest of the day.

527
00:21:33,319 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 1: How did you feel about that?

528
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 4: I thought that was incredibly noble, incredibly brave. Also, that

529
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,039
was a very expensive outfit and now even more valuable

530
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,039
with a president's gray matta, one of the rarest presidential

531
00:21:44,079 --> 00:21:45,319
seals one canvastow.

532
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,759
Speaker 1: I really just had to bite the bullet on that.

533
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,400
Ohh so to speak Zinga all right, John, how do

534
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,960
you feel about being such a famous airport?

535
00:21:54,039 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 4: Along with the book that the president gets to write

536
00:21:56,279 --> 00:21:59,400
after their term in office, one of the second highest

537
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,680
honors is getting a airport named after you. It is

538
00:22:02,759 --> 00:22:05,640
one of the finest things a president can be known for,

539
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,240
especially from a family of people who have died in

540
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,359
so many played crushes. It's nice to have an airport

541
00:22:12,559 --> 00:22:15,640
named after you that is not in any way tempting fate.

542
00:22:17,039 --> 00:22:18,799
Speaker 2: I mean, I know that they have the President George

543
00:22:18,839 --> 00:22:22,400
Bush Turnpike up in Dallas. But uh, yeah, that is

544
00:22:22,519 --> 00:22:25,039
that is interesting, that's cool. Would there be anything else

545
00:22:25,079 --> 00:22:27,720
that you would want to bear your name some official

546
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,400
building or place that you would want John F.

547
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:31,799
Speaker 3: Kennedy scrawled in front of?

548
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 4: Something I propose in my book toward the end is

549
00:22:34,279 --> 00:22:37,359
I think we need a new Mount Rushmore of presidents

550
00:22:37,519 --> 00:22:40,519
that have done great things outside of our forefathers, which

551
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:43,720
I'm proposing a new monument called Mount Crushmore, And it

552
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,960
is a president's who absolutely slayed trim coast to coast,

553
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:48,799
and I would of course like to be a front

554
00:22:48,799 --> 00:22:50,119
and center on Mount Crushmore.

555
00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 2: Now would it be just you guys's like heads or

556
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,480
would it be more detailed?

557
00:22:54,559 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: Which head?

558
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,799
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, of course these would be full body, head

559
00:22:57,839 --> 00:22:59,960
to toe. You'd get the entire thing, the whole McGill.

560
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 3: Who else would join you on Mount Crushmore?

561
00:23:02,759 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 2: Was it?

562
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am, Crushmore for presidents who get down as low

563
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,880
as I am to say. Of course Lbj's got to

564
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,720
be on there, Dick, Sure, of course.

565
00:23:10,799 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: Yes.

566
00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:12,640
Speaker 4: It's going to take the sculptor quite a bit.

567
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:13,279
Speaker 1: He's got to let the.

568
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,759
Speaker 4: Trousers out, might have to fly in some new mountain,

569
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,440
that is correct. Taft, of course, gotta have to put

570
00:23:18,519 --> 00:23:21,000
taft on there. Yeah, you know, what the heck, we'll

571
00:23:21,039 --> 00:23:21,960
throw Nixon on there.

572
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I know he was.

573
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 4: I'm extending in olive branch.

574
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,799
Speaker 1: It's very big of you. That's great. Yeah.

575
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, he will be, of course, be seated beneath us,

576
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,839
and we will have a tasteful waterfall falling off of

577
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,160
Genitalia onto his head.

578
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 1: Wow.

579
00:23:35,519 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 2: I imagine Clinton's got to be involved in this as well. Right,

580
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:38,960
He's going to be up there?

581
00:23:39,079 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 4: Oh my god, of course, yes, no, Clinton, Absolutely, He's

582
00:23:42,079 --> 00:23:43,799
right next to me. The sculpture will have my arm

583
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,279
around his shoulders as we wolf whistle and go u

584
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,799
uga from sea to shining Sea.

585
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 1: Very cool, very cool. Oh man, that is such a

586
00:23:52,559 --> 00:23:55,880
beautiful monument. I just can't wait to read about it

587
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:56,400
in your book.

588
00:23:56,599 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 4: I have detailed blueprints, plans, everything is included in the

589
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,559
so be sure to pick it up. It should be

590
00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:02,559
out this summer.

591
00:24:02,799 --> 00:24:04,799
Speaker 1: And last question, do you know why you're in Hell?

592
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 4: I kind of think of everything we've talked about today

593
00:24:07,599 --> 00:24:09,759
is probably a good indication of why I am here.

594
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: In Hell.

595
00:24:10,319 --> 00:24:13,759
Speaker 4: And of course, as I said, be presidents mostly committing crimes,

596
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,759
you are overseeing the pain and suffering of an entire

597
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,400
nation of people. Sort of earns you the fast pass

598
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:19,960
to Hell.

599
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for your honesty, thank you for your candor.

600
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,039
Appreciate you coming by.

601
00:24:24,279 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

602
00:24:24,599 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 4: Absolutely, the only president that does in heaven is Jimmy Cattera.

603
00:24:27,519 --> 00:24:29,319
Oh of course, yeah, I know he just got there

604
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,160
not too long ago. But of course you know, we'll

605
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,359
see him at the reunion. Can't wait to read your book.

606
00:24:33,519 --> 00:24:36,119
And thanks for coming on the show. Thank you very much, Clayton,

607
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,720
Thank you, Chris. It was an honor to be here.

608
00:24:37,839 --> 00:24:40,960
Remember stay tuned next summer. The great Legs coming to

609
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,200
bodies of water near you, I guess.

610
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:43,880
Speaker 1: Thank you gentlemen.

611
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:48,079
Speaker 2: Ah, we just floated away. I didn't know you had

612
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,279
that ability. That was incredible.

613
00:24:49,319 --> 00:24:52,839
Speaker 1: Wow, that's one of those like presidential things that give you. Yeah.

614
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,759
Speaker 2: Well, anyways, thank you guys for listening to another episode

615
00:24:55,759 --> 00:24:56,880
of Good Morning from Hell.

616
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:57,599
Speaker 1: That was a good one.

617
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,279
Speaker 2: Chris was good and now we know you know my

618
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,920
secret mission whether or not JFK should be down.

619
00:25:01,799 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 3: Here is in fact belongs squarely here in Hell.

620
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,039
Speaker 1: That's great, And if you want to get roasted on

621
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:08,960
the show, be sure to go to good Morning from

622
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,680
Hell dot com and sign up. And thank you to

623
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:11,880
everyone who supports us.

624
00:25:12,079 --> 00:25:13,759
Speaker 2: Even if you're there and you're like, I don't want

625
00:25:13,799 --> 00:25:15,880
to spend six dollars sixty six cents right now, it's

626
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,960
not for a free membership. It still helps us show

627
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,799
out a huge way, and you'll get a lot of

628
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,920
updates because that's where.

629
00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 3: We post all of our good stuff is there on

630
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,359
the Patreon.

631
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,519
Speaker 1: Yeah cool, all right, well Clayton, hello, Andrew rosis thank

632
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:29,880
you for coming out of the show again.

633
00:25:30,319 --> 00:25:33,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you, of course. Anytime this is the blast.

634
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:33,759
Speaker 1: I'm glad.

635
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,599
Speaker 4: I'm glad it's back. I'm glad I get to be

636
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,200
a guest on the show. It's always so much fun.

637
00:25:37,279 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: Well, not only are you a guest on the new

638
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,680
run of shows, which you know, you were like probably

639
00:25:41,799 --> 00:25:45,160
our most visited guest on the original run.

640
00:25:45,279 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: You were on the show probably more than anyone. I'd

641
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:48,839
mean definitely, I would just say definitely.

642
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh wow, okay, but the music that you hear

643
00:25:51,519 --> 00:25:53,519
for our theme song, now that was by you, wasn't

644
00:25:53,519 --> 00:25:53,640
it not.

645
00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 4: That's true, that's right. I forget. Absolutely. Yeah. The new

646
00:25:56,799 --> 00:25:59,000
theme song is by Yours truly. Yeah right, that was

647
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,160
a lot of fun. Yeah, slinky hard rock tune. That

648
00:26:02,279 --> 00:26:02,519
was cool.

649
00:26:02,599 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, when we were doing the reboot, we needed new music.

650
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:09,799
And Andrew is talented in many ways, both in comedy, art, music,

651
00:26:10,039 --> 00:26:11,319
martial arts, yes.

652
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,319
Speaker 4: Deadly, in seven different forms of combat.

653
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. But yeah, and you helped us out with that absolutely. Yeah.

654
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,279
Speaker 4: I was honored to do it because, yeah, this is

655
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:22,119
a great show.

656
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:22,640
Speaker 1: Andrew.

657
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 3: Where can the people find you? Because you also have

658
00:26:25,079 --> 00:26:26,279
a podcast of your own.

659
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 4: Absolutely yeah. So former Rooster Chief Batties, myself, Armando Torres,

660
00:26:31,319 --> 00:26:34,920
and Kayla Milton have a show called Boyfriend Material, a

661
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,160
relationship advice show guaranteed to ruin your relationship. People writing

662
00:26:38,279 --> 00:26:40,680
questions about problems they're having their relationship, or questions that

663
00:26:40,759 --> 00:26:43,079
they have or you know, just stuff related to romance

664
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,680
or love or relationships. And we then take those questions,

665
00:26:45,799 --> 00:26:49,880
don't answer them, and riff for thirty minutes question just

666
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,599
about whatever, and then sometimes we sometimes give good advice.

667
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,359
I think actually a couple of times we've actually given

668
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,640
some good advice. But I mean it's just a comedy show.

669
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,440
It's just a lot of fun. I love Armando and

670
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,200
Grip so much. When we had the tenure at RTP,

671
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,160
we just wanted to keep the train rolling because it

672
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,359
was so much fun. So boyfriend material wherever you get

673
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,440
your podcasts.

674
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys bring such a weird, chaotic energy. Like

675
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,359
I remember even there towards the end when we were

676
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,759
shutting down and everyone was kind of like loosening up

677
00:27:14,839 --> 00:27:16,519
a little bit. You guys were saying stuff where I

678
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,279
was like, I was constantly holding my my hands, like

679
00:27:19,519 --> 00:27:22,359
what are they going to reveal? What are they gonna say?

680
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,200
You guys have very funny, candid takes and it is

681
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:28,640
a fun listen. Also, Griff pitched the concept of boyfriend

682
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,680
material to me, and it was something along the lines of,

683
00:27:30,839 --> 00:27:35,319
like we have a person who's polyamorous. There was like

684
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,039
all these things that like made your podcast the most

685
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,960
unique uhetive over all bases relationship podcasts.

686
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,319
Speaker 4: I think, so we kind of covered the gamut in

687
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,599
terms of like types of relationship. Also, I think I'm

688
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,400
a little bit older than Griffin and Armando too, so

689
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,039
I think we also like represent different perspectives demographically too.

690
00:27:55,279 --> 00:27:57,599
So yeah, I think we offer some weird, if not

691
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,720
helpful insight into our liststeners questions.

692
00:28:00,799 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 1: So it's a great show, great cast. Everyone to go

693
00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:06,799
subscribe right now to your show material. And then we're

694
00:28:06,799 --> 00:28:09,200
also going to go talk about our sense on why

695
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:10,960
we're going to hell, so you can catch that next week.

696
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,240
Let's go Bye,