Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice,
mixing some vodka. Call it a podcast from the Mac
of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Chrysler Dods Jupe Ram. It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on,
Thanks for telling a friend. That's how we spread the
word about the pirate shift. Look who's here, all handsome
and ready to go?
Speaker 3: This microphone smells like deviled eggs?
Speaker 2: Now, why won't the cameras switch? Probably can't even I
can't even get this cameras on. Yes it is, it's on.
It's on. Okay, I'm looking at you. I just can't
get it to change you think? Why? Oh wait, now
you're up. Wait now what happened? Now? I got you superimposed?
Speaker 4: Hang on, let me like a green screen, no as
you can see right here.
Speaker 2: Oh, I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I
did something wrong? Now did Yeah?
Speaker 3: Story of my life, Bill Moriah.
Speaker 2: I did something. There we go, there we go. I
have it on auto. So if this is weird and
I don't like it, but I had what do I have?
Like horns or something no I had. I was letting
the cameras change on their own sort of automatically, okay,
and it would go back and forth to us. But
at some points it's like it's fading out of me
and fading into you, and we look like like the
sun of.
Speaker 3: The move Michael Michael Jackson's black or white.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, well I'll just ignore
that and we'll see, uh, let go the uh the
supervising pretty yell at me about all yeah.
Speaker 3: We have one of those now Live from New York.
Speaker 2: I got a message, and I love when we get
messages from our listeners. Dear Bill, this one is, uh,
it's from a long time Bilified listener. Dog.
Speaker 3: We've only been around like four years, so that's that's
quite a long time.
Speaker 2: He's a long time listener. This is our senior year, Billy, Yeah,
this is fourth year. You're right, that's right. A question
for and he has a question for what I am
calling doctor Dan. That would be you, dear Dan, Doctor Dan. Hey, Bill,
doctor said I should add fiber to my diet. I
remember Dan Burrillo saying to buy the Wegmans fiber pills,
but I can't remember if he said by the red
or the blue. He was adamant on one or the other.
Speaker 3: It was neither. It wasn't fiber. It wasn't fiber pills.
It was the top career green, green and white.
Speaker 2: Over the orange. Yes, yeah it was.
Speaker 3: It was the bottle and it was. It was the
fiber powder, not the pills. Fiber powder. It was close,
but it was the green one. It scores like a
hundred or almost one hundred on the Yuka test. You
don't want to buy the men of mucil, and you
don't want to buy the orange. You want to buy
the green. I've tested them all, baby, And if you
can't afford that, get some flax seed.
Speaker 2: And grind that up. That'll work too, Okay, I add
both to mine. Okay, wait, flax seed and oh yeah,
you must ship rope bro. You got it. Seriously, you
could pull ships with that thing. Dude.
Speaker 3: They call them road apples instead of Ontario. When the horses
on the when the mountain horses leave the piles. Yes,
I look at you, ere a look in and go man.
Speaker 2: Yeah that was me. Well, first of all, I love
that Dan Brilla has become the fiber expert of Western
Western New York.
Speaker 3: Everybody's good. It's like it's a dirt ticular one set billy.
Everyone's blessed with one special thing. It apparently is fiber.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, but here's the thing somewhere right here in
the Greater Rochester area. Some guy attended the u of R.
I went to their medical school for twelve years to
be a gastro enterologist. But it's Dan is like, no, no, no,
no no. If you're gonna take the fiber, you get
the green capped fiber from top Care. Yes, yes, two
scoops and that I when I after I read this,
I keep thinking about, Goh, that's something that's very very
human about us. It's when somebody speaks with confidence. We
buy a hook line and say, come on man, it's
so funny you bring them.
Speaker 3: So today I found on Twitter or x, John Ratzenberger
asks his story about how he tried out for Cheers.
Speaker 2: He was trying to be somebody else on Cheers, Well
he was. He was auditioning for Norm. Yes.
Speaker 3: Yes, they didn't know they were going to have another
role on the show. It was really just gonna be Sam, Coach, Diane,
and Norm. Those are the four Norm was going to
be the barfly obvious and his only line was going
to be bear.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was it.
Speaker 3: And apparently Cliff I'm sorry, John Ratzenberger didn't pass the audition.
Speaker 2: So he's gonna fly BacT to.
Speaker 3: England and they didn't like to read it didn't go
well so and they kind of pulled the curveball on him.
So he's walking out of the room he was, hey,
do you guys have a role for a bar know
it all?
Speaker 2: They go, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm from New England. My father owned a bar,
and every bar in New England has a bar know
it all. And they would defer to this guy whether
he knew what he was talking about or not, because
he spoke with such authority. And so John Ratzenberger they go, okay, well,
let's create a role, and Cliff Claven was born. He
auditioned for it. He had a fake Boston accent that
wasn't not how he really talks, okay, because he was
more of a serious actor. He was also an I
think in spaceballs and stuff too, but he was like
he was a classically.
Speaker 2: Trained and stuff.
Speaker 3: And the character Cliff Claven was born because he just
happened to turn around out his way out the door
and go, hey, if it's a New England based bar,
if it's a Boston bar, you gotta have a bar,
no it all. And he played that guy. And that's
why I saw that. I thought to myself, I am
the bilified Cliff Clayton. Whether I know it or not,
whether it's true or not, I speak with such authority
that it has to be true.
Speaker 2: It does. It's like somebody mentions one tiny detail with
confidence and suddenly it becomes gospel. And so you know,
whether it's the red pills, the blue pills, the fiber pills,
the can of fiber, the jar fiber, the red orange,
whatever you say it, and that's it. And if someone
says something confidently enough, we buy into that shit. And
I almost think that with the Internet, that is some
of the problem. Yes I do, and some of the problem.
Speaker 3: Here's the best part, Like I have actually, since the
advent of AI, have gone back and researched and then
re researched through other AIS. If some of this stuff
that's being pushed by influencers is true, and some of
it is and some of it isn't. And even the
AI will tell you even we're not fool proof. You
have to go and check us with others as well. Okay,
so even grocks like, yeah, well here's the the pratfalls.
Don't use us for legal advice. Don't use us for
financial advice. Why they've got to cover their bases, right,
don't use us for medical advice, but for everything else
why not? And so I've kind of run this stuff
at Like Gary Breck is a famous guy who likes
to promote like healthy stuff.
Speaker 2: And he goes, hey, you need you gonna you're.
Speaker 3: Gonna dehydrate yourself if you drink too much water. You
got to put salt. And this one guy who's a doctor,
a kidney doctor, goes, I'm a kidney doctor. I've drank
water my entire life like most humans. I've never put
salt in it. I've never been dehydrated. So I don't
know what you're talking about. So you got to like
kind of take everything they no pun intended a grant
salt and do some homework on it.
Speaker 2: But fiber is always good for you. Yeah, well okay,
I'm starting to when would you take fiber? What time
of day? And here's why I ask, because I happen
to be somewhere like Saint John Fisher's, and I don't
want to be blown up the bathroom, right, you know,
Because sometimes it's fiber, you grow a tail bro especially
when it figs too. I eat figs every day and
that helps as well.
Speaker 3: I typically, now that you mention it, I would take
the fiber maybe at night really so that in the
morning you can take care of it all instead, because
like here's what I do.
Speaker 2: I don't eat until noon every day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been like intermittently fasting now for like five
six years, just because it's become old hat. Okay, it
really doesn't work as far as weight loss goes. It
works more for like autophagy and anti aging properties, and
even that's a little suspect, but I'm just accustomed to it.
But I don't like fibers considered calories. So I eat
it with my first meal, which is typically lunch around
new and then around two or three o'clock.
Speaker 2: When will your laxative start.
Speaker 3: So it might be better just to take it with
dinner or at night or when you write, like about
an hour or two before you go to bed.
Speaker 2: Okay, you think that's the better time it could be.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to mess with the camera.
Speaker 3: Oh you know, Sammy, Yeah, I take my fiver.
Speaker 2: You know what are I feeling? Ah? All right, now
we're there. He'll dress, I'll not doing stuff I can't.
Speaker 3: We gotta run that by your executive producer. We need
more equipment.
Speaker 2: I I'm not going to turn out. I'm gonna turn
the cameras away from me because now it's just changing
camera positions from one to the other. But I thought
I turned off the automatic camera. Shit, Oh, this is
annoying anyway.
Speaker 3: It's like those nineteen nineties wedding videos.
Speaker 2: They like they dissolve into each other's face. Yes, yes,
that's exactly what you exactly what we've got and I've got.
Speaker 3: I've gotta pay wherever you go, whatever you do.
Speaker 2: There are certain little behaviors. As I got this thing,
and I thought of you, and I thought of you
as the the ex the Western New York fiber expert
that you are. You're going to talk about all that
stuff I started thinking about, just like there are certain
little behaviors in life that kind of immediately make you
think that maybe someone I want to avoid. Yeah, you
know what I mean? You pause, is that somebody I
wanted to. We worked in radio. They were the callers. Well, now,
because everybody talks about relationship red flags, we hear that
all the time, right, Yeah, well I'm I'm. I started
thinking and noticing things that I go these are human
red flags, the red flags of people that I that's
a watch in your face because I see So what
are in you our opinion? Dan? What would be the
red flags that make you cautious around someone in everyday life?
Because I've got a list. When I started this list,
it would just keep coming to me, and I made
a list. But just think of, off the top of
your head, what are the red flags that make you
cautious around someone in everyday life?
Speaker 3: Like they come back from lunch smelling like alcohol. Okay,
I'm a little I'm a little leery. I mean not
just once, but regularly. If you're a co if they're
a coworker, or if they smell like.
Speaker 2: Weed in the middle of the day.
Speaker 3: If you want to do that stuff, fine, but if
you got to do it every day around lunch and
then have the guts to come back to work. Okay, Now,
if you're in radio, that's different. But if you're doing
a real job. I'm a little I'm a little cautious
of your life choices. Okay, I think certain people who
that's just one.
Speaker 2: I'll give you one that I said, people who have
to constantly talk about themselves. Yeah, yeah, sure, Okay, I
have I have a couple cool Okay, the car dashboard Museum.
When I see someone in a parking lot that their
dashboard is just all kinds of chots keys mm, there,
that is the person that they don't even want to
be on the roadway.
Speaker 3: What about the jeep people with the ducks? Okay, is
that an exception not, because that's kind of a thing.
I go, the duck is cute, one or two? You
have so many fucking ducks, dude, I've seen people with
the entire dashboard like looking like rich stadium.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If your dashboard looks like the clearance aisle of
hobby lobby, No, all your fucking ducks, I don't care.
Speaker 3: Trust me, it's a hobby lobby.
Speaker 2: It's more like Ali's. Okay, I'm worried. I don't think
they'm worried. I'm worried if that's you, because when the
sun hits your windshield and all of a sudden your
dashboard is sparkling like a Fingerlake slot machine at the
Rassino or in trouble. You know what I'm saying, Like
those are people, honestly God, or you ever see somebody
They've got the dream catcher, the rosary breeds, the crystals,
the airflace fresh, the air fresh, a little Buddha. The
car's got six religions and no fucking seatbelts. No, that's like,
I go, Okay, that's somebody I don't want to be around.
That's someone I don't want to be on the road with.
Speaker 3: That to me, is a human red flag or if
the tires and the rims cost more than the car, Yes,
human red flag. Yes, she's human red flag.
Speaker 2: Human red flag. You know what would be the mail equivalent?
Because I am blaming mostly women for the dashboard museum,
and it's usually older women that probably have a bunch
of cats at home. They gotta go out and get
the cat food. What would be the male equivalent of that?
Speaker 3: Like bumper, Oh gosh, yeah, bumper nuts is a big one.
Speaker 2: Or the Calvin peeing on.
Speaker 3: Somebody's Calvin ping on anything for Chevy, Calvin ping on, Calvin, I.
Speaker 2: Gotta be honest, like, maybe it makes me less of
a dude. I don't fucking know, but I would never
want Calvin pissing on anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah unless it was No, I can't even how about
anything though identifies you like you're going out on a
limb with a bumper sticker, any bumper sticker. I love
the Red Wings, but I don't. But I would never
put a go Wings on the back of my car.
I work at CMF with you for six seven years.
I would never put a CMF bumper sticker on the
back of my car.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I never did either.
Speaker 3: Okay, there are people who have, like even Jesus bumper
stickers hanging on a second, but sorry, no, I can't
do that.
Speaker 2: I I now Here's here's my dilemma with that. There's
a big push to get some bilified merchant merchandise. Okay,
So there's been a lot of talk lately of hats
and things like that.
Speaker 3: So once they gonna get the shirt that says cancel survivor.
Speaker 2: That's ours.
Speaker 3: Uh, if I wanna get one for Kevin that says
I beat anarexia on BILLI.
Speaker 2: But if like I, So there's hats being looked at
others and there's people, and we got to get you
on this email thing. It's only been one or two
one person, Okay, Sammy, I'll be honest. Yeah, well, i'd
like your opinion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I appreciate the fact that you'd like my opinion
since I'm like a mason of this show.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'd like your opinion. But I go, how weird.
I don't know that I could wear a billified hat.
It feels too self serving.
Speaker 3: I didn't even like wearing CMF stuff when I worked
at CMAH. Here's see, here's.
Speaker 2: How I was right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I didn't get the shirt of the hat,
I'd feel like left out, Like like I wasn't important
enough to get the shirt of the hat, like you
and Tommy would get it. Kano would get it, Kato
get like seven one for every day of the week.
Rabinson had his own custom made CMF shirt. Shit out
of him, right, But like, I'm like, what, I don't
get one? And then I get one, I'm like, all right,
who wants it? I didn't wear it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to wear this. I gave away all
my radio stuff, all of it. I give it away.
You did. I have a drawer fall somewhere and I know.
Speaker 3: People would actually pay for that stuff.
Speaker 2: No, I should probably frame it and put it in
here honestly, or wherever we end up.
Speaker 3: Or you can get a tattooed like brother Weez that
worked here.
Speaker 2: I don't want any tattoos. No. Another one, I guys
have to go back. Human red flags. Another one, human
red flag. The selfie industrial complex. Oh dude, huh, dudes
with selfies a big okay, big okay, big red flag. Okay.
I'm glad's brought this.
Speaker 3: Up because it's another subject I want to talk about.
Speaker 2: But go ahead. If look, if every post is your face,
you are your own religion. This is not social media.
You are a digital shrine to yourself.
Speaker 3: There was a woman that I dated. I think she
still lives in Rochester, and she invited me over to dinner.
I didn't know she had a kid, which is fine.
I walk in her little boy or son. You shouldn't
see a litle boy. He was like a teenager answer
to the phone or answer to the door, and I'm like, oh, hi,
I'm here for so and so.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she's over here. And I walk in.
Speaker 3: The house and every picture in the house was not
of her son, not of her mother, not of her, No,
her her every picture in the house, on the mantle,
on the wall, it was like a like if her Facebook,
I'm sorry, if her house could be a Facebook page, yeah,
or an Instagram page. It was of her face everywhere.
I'm like, yeah, run, this chick is not worth the aggravation.
Speaker 2: No, because if you post five selfies a day and no,
but that that's not confidence. That's holding your self esteem hostage. Yeah,
set is. It's ridiculous. It's absolutely It's just the most
the craziest thing. Ah, I'm able to change the cameras again.
I got control back.
Speaker 3: Ah.
Speaker 2: I need control the life. I need more control of
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What do we need to know or what do we
need to believe that something happened? And I bring this
up because, as we mentioned, bam uh at a bio
bam at a baio at a bio scored eighty three
points the other night. Now, what happens in basketball? Oh?
That was somebody posted about that? Yes, if that was
what you were gonna Yes, that's what I was talking about.
Oh that was another one I was going to tell you.
Yea yeah, okay, And it sounds insane, right, eighty three points,
especially in today's league. But the Wizards aren't that good.
They were not playing great defense. He had thirty something
by the end of the first thing. Yeah, right, and
the first quarter it was terrible. But then everybody's bringing
up like he was surpassed Kobe, who had eighty one.
And by the way, I think in that game, Kobe
went to the foul line the least out of the
top three guys in scoring, so he wasn't being fouled
a lot. And then you go to it was his
last game. Oh it was. It was Kobe's last game. Okay,
well he went there.
Speaker 3: He actually like missed a few shots to start the game.
But yeah, like when he finally calmed down. Yeah, because
I turned the game off, like, okay, it's gonna be
a Kobe than I didn't realize he was gonna score
eighty something points. That was a historic game. Yeah, but
it was his last game. They were like laying off Kobe. Well, okay,
like Magic Johnson's last All Star game. This is interesting
because got to give it to him.
Speaker 2: You got you look, oh my god, you look at
the Wilt Chamberlaine game one hundred points in nineteen sixty two.
He's the biggest guy on the court.
Speaker 3: In Herston, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2: But but playing the Knicks but there's no footage and
the only thing they still have is like the fourth
quarter called on radio. Oh is that?
Speaker 3: But I thought you meant like the picture he's holding up.
Speaker 2: That's all they got is a picture. And there are
people who go, this is bullshit, It didn't happen. There
are people who say that, they go, there's no way.
Matter of fact, Yeah, my kid came into me and goes,
there's no way that he did that. He goes because
he goes, and let me tell you something, Larry Bird
would have fucking owned him. And I'm like, do you
realize how big Wilt Chamberlain was. All Wilt needed to
do was get inside. There was no three point play
or three point shot then, and they tried fouling. All
these games become unethical. They just do, because now the
whole thing is how do we stop this. The only
way to stop it is to foul the guy and
hope he doesn't make foul shots. Well, Will was making
the foul shots, so then they start fouling the other
players on the team. And the same thing with Adebayo
the other night. He somehow he got like they just
started falling and he could have probably gotten to one
hundred if somebody needs to just let it go at
some point. Unfortunately, you're gonna be in the record book
is the team that let Well.
Speaker 3: The weird thing is that out of bio is not
known as a score. No, he's not. Like on FanDuel,
most there might be an investigation in a year, like
all right, Pam's going to go off, man, So get
your bets in now right because there's a little whispers.
Speaker 2: But I don't think that'll be the case.
Speaker 3: No, he's not a score. I'm sure most people bet
the under on FanDuel last night. Whoever bet the over
was like, oh.
Speaker 2: Man, wow, right. But let's keep it with sports for
a second. When we say what do we need to believe?
Pre nineteen nineties, A lot of sports history kind of
sounds like folklore in a way. I mean, it's like
your uncle at the holidays after a six pack, you
know what I'm saying, he starts telling you about the Hey,
you know, in my day, Yes, Otto Graham could throw
a ball, Mickey Mantles legendary home runs. We've got a couple.
We've got a couple preserved undred twenty five feet. Yeah,
but was it I don't know. We don't know. Uh, babe,
Ruth calling his shot. I don't even know.
Speaker 3: Is there footage of that in Chicago?
Speaker 2: There is footage of him.
Speaker 3: Pointing, pointing. But do we know if my old friend
says he doesn't think that that really happened. That became
a legend. Yeah, I want to believe the legend.
Speaker 2: I want to believe that he calls what I'm saying.
It becomes folk lore that that's the thing, and we
like that. But what do we need to believe because
now we live in a world where even when there
is footage, we still don't believe it. Oh yeah, we
don't believe.
Speaker 3: I thought you were a time of Will Chamberlain's twenty
thousand women. I mean, what's more believable that are one
hundred points that he's spinning the game? You know what
I'm saying, You gotta have fault, Billy.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. There is
there is something about athletes that are of a certain
they're just still they're cut of a certain jib, right,
they just are these guys. And Will Chamberlain was known
to be a partier, like I think before that game,
had partied hard to night be he would drive from
New York City to Hershey, and he was in New
York City, and the twenty thousand sounds astronomical.
Speaker 3: It's two point three per day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it. I got it. They've done the matho,
but it I mean it could be. I would actually
find that. And I know this sounds strange. I find
that more believable than the Hunter point kid, because there's
more defense and basketball. These women aren't putting up any defenses.
Speaker 3: You and I are old enough to remember a gentleman
by the name of David Wells, Yeah, who supposedly guy yeah,
had quite a night out the night before he threw
a perfect game.
Speaker 2: Dude, I'm telling you, only.
Speaker 3: Twenty four of those have been thrown in Major League
Baseball history.
Speaker 2: And I believe that because I think that there's a
thing that happens to some of these guys, and I
have a little of it. Not like this, but like
Michael Jordan will go out and play two eighteen whole
rounds and then I'm in and fucking blow you off
the court. Lawrence Taylor, most people, being exhausted, Lawrence Taylor
would be out partying, snorting cocaine. Did you hear this story.
I don't know.
Speaker 3: He had like four secs in a game or something
after he went out all night in New York. Yeah,
he shows up at six am at Phil Simms house
on a Sunday of the game. Chris Simms, at six
years old, answers the door, mister Taylor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as your fad the home.
Speaker 3: I hey, he feels, I gotta borrow your golf shoes.
I know we have the same size. This guy's only
gonna let me play his course in the morning, goes, Yeah, okay,
he borrows his golf shoes. He goes and plays eighteen,
shows up at the stadium at like eleven o'clock and
ends up having a huge day. Yeah, like the didn't
go to bed.
Speaker 2: No, there's just something that happens with these guys. It's
an adrenaline.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. I think Jordan had it.
I think I wouldn't be surprised if everybody of that
level to some degree has it. There may be you
know a few guys who don't, but I don't know. Uh.
But back to the believer or not believe? Now, great,
do we believe those stories? I'm saying here? Yes, and
I bet you we can find a doctor who go
fucking impossible. Keith Richards says he would stay up for days,
and he's eighty something years old.
Speaker 3: There are stories about Rick Flair that would make you
think he would have died in a sport where they
averaged nine wrestlers a year, dying in their prime.
Speaker 2: And somehow, why do you think that is?
Speaker 3: Well, it's like playing a football game seven days a week,
twice on Saturday, twice on Sunday and doing it three
hundred days a year. Okay, okay, like Lawrence Taylor. You
want to talk about Lawrence Taylor actually rustled in Russell
Mania and said it was harder than any football game
he'd ever played.
Speaker 2: Now that's the contact.
Speaker 3: I mean, he played professional football at the highest level,
one of the greatest, probably the greatest defensive player of
all time, and he said that was harder than any
football game he ever played. Now you're Rick Flair and
you're doing what they call broadways, meaning you're on you're
in the ring, not five to ten minutes like the
wwe We're talking like thirty to sixty minute matches. And
then he would drink five beers and do twelve shots
he wasn't into drugs, but he drank. Yeah, and he
would still get up. He'd fly halfway across the world,
go to Japan and Russell and fly back. And it's
yet like, it's like, are these stories true? They asked
the Russels. Oh yeah, oh yeah, we don't know how
he still.
Speaker 2: Well, what's the one on the on across country flight?
Who is the Dodgers hit home running? Drank a case
of beer? Oh it was Wade Boss.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we supposedly drank yeah, sixty bears or something on
a cross country across country flight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could see it. I mean I can see
that for sure. But we we literally, just as an example,
we literally have footage of Neil Armstrong, the first man
on the moon, the first guy to walk on the moon.
There is moon dust and they put their footprints are there?
We're not. There are people who absolutely, unequivocally will never
believe that, never believe that we did that. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And there's even stories where President Clinton said he was
having a meeting and the Republicans and the Democrats weren't
getting along on this certain thing, and he goes the
NASA was there that they goes, can I have this
moon rock. They go, you got to give it back
to us. Mister president goes, I'm President Clinton. I'll get
I'll get your moon rock back. He brings the moon
rock into them and he goes, hey, look this moon.
Speaker 2: This is a piece of the moon. The Moon's gonna
be here.
Speaker 3: We're all just passing through, Like this is the actual
part of the moon.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And it's like, why would a president just you know,
do that and tell that story and make that whole
thing up. Maybe he would, because there's a lot of
things these guys make up. But I mean, I really
believe we walked on the moon.
Speaker 2: But now, like you.
Speaker 3: Got guys like Rogan saying no, no, it was all stage.
It never happened, because look at the footprints and look
at the back of their shoes and look at this.
Speaker 2: It's like, but that that's sort of saying okay, so
if video evidence isn't enough, what is? And honest to God,
we're we have the the social media trust the collapse.
We don't trust any No, it has collapse because we
have way too much footage, way too much footage of everything, and.
Speaker 3: People still don't believe it.
Speaker 2: Trust none of it, none of it. If the New
Year has you saying I did not sign up for
this like a worker's comp case, social security disability, or
a personal injury claim. Don't try to google lawyer your
way through it. Go to Connors and Ferris. They have
offices in Buffalo, New York City, Syracuse, and Rochester and
they'll get back to you within twenty four hours. Yeah,
so even when you're stress scrolling at two am, you
can call two six to two COMP, tell them a
little bit about what's going on in your life, and
within twenty four hours one of their attorneys will get
back to you. You'll talk to real lawyers who will
explain things in plain English, not legal mumbo jumbo. Workers comp,
social security disability, personal injury complicated, absolutely something you should
handle a loone. Nope, Connors and Ferris, experienced, responsive and
committed to serving you better called two six two COMP
helps available right now. Get excited because we haven't done
this in a while, but I thought of another red
flag person now once in a while I find this. Okay,
I've been guilty of it. Okay, we won't turn up.
Speaker 3: The line doing Dixie Chicks to not afraid your bread.
We laugh when jumps that room all the person to carry.
Speaker 2: That's right, baby, who is I don't know. It's it's royalty.
I get, we get to we get to use it.
But but what I was thinking is the person who
laughs at their own jokes. But I don't mean just laughstand,
I mean like slapping the table, right, We don't anybody
like that. Well, I'm laughing at your own jokes, Okay,
I'm talking about slapping the table, wheezing, kicking it out.
And I I was reminded, I have done that.
Speaker 4: I've done that where I have laughed every Remember, like
I used to, I would want to I to think
of a zinger to come back at Tommy with, and
I would start laughing before I delivered the line because
it was so funny.
Speaker 3: How he would do that too, Yes, every time, every
time he says something funny, he'd look at me because
he knew, Yes, I would crack up.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what a comic does. You're looking for, oh
the best.
Speaker 3: So if I were Tommy, i'd laugh at my own
jokes too.
Speaker 2: I would. I was thinking of doing this bit a
million years ago, and how I used to get excited
and I would laugh. I loved it. I just did
so Dan picked the state of Kentucky.
Speaker 3: I want to thank Juice for bringing back this idea,
resurrecting this idea.
Speaker 2: Uh, he wanted to call a place in Kentucky. So
my phone is hooked up. I did not get a
burner phone. We're going to try to use some kind
of technology that maybe will protect us. May be it won't.
I'll cellular one. I'm just hoping now I left. Should
I give you the names. I'll give you the names
of three places, Okay, and I won't say where in
Kentucky we're calling. Okay, okay, but we're calling in the
state of Kentucky, so these will be tanning slunes and
and tell people what you're gonna say? What? What? What?
What's the idea? How long?
Speaker 3: The idea is that I represent a funeral home. I'm
an undertaker or a funeral director, and our makeup artist,
Yvonne is out with some type of illness or situation.
I've actually come up with some So we need to
get missus Johnson or somebody else's name that I'm gonna
throw in here. Their body needs to be you know, warm,
are colored for a show? It?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like makeup. Yes, we need to make up artist.
She does.
Speaker 3: She does, so we got to brown up the meat
a little bit. So we need to swing her by
the tanning bed just to get some color.
Speaker 2: Yes, let me get this off, and I'm gonna put
on a little dial in music. Here, a little dial
in music for you. Dan, it's yourself all set? Uh So,
now what do we want here? Do we want to
see if we can get someone to stay on the longest.
Speaker 3: Which one of these funeral parlors?
Speaker 2: Oh? Sorry, which one of these tanning beds will stay
on the longest?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 3: Okay, Let's see if we can set a record. And
then every time we do this, we got to try
to break our record. High Gloss Society, High Glow Society.
My name is Kevin from the Connors and Farris Funeral Home.
Speaker 2: How are you today?
Speaker 5: I am doing well.
Speaker 3: How are you good?
Speaker 2: Whom am I speaking with?
Speaker 3: This is Gloss Society?
Speaker 2: This is Donna, Oh, Donna High. Are you the manager
of close Society?
Speaker 3: I am How can I help you?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: So, we're from the Connors and Farris Funeral Home two
six to two comp and and we have a little
situation going on our makeup artist, Yvonne.
Speaker 2: We had to send her home. Uh, I don't know.
Speaker 3: If you're familiar with Lou Holtz, the old Notre Dame
coach who passed away recently. Well, we have him and
Yvonne our makeup artist. We had to send her home
because she was playing patty cake with mister Holtz, who's
a big fan and so. But we have a showing
for mister Holtz like tomorrow, and we don't have a
makeup artist. So we need to bring mister Holtz, Notre
Dame head coach, motivational speaker. We need to bring his
body down and get some color, and we were hoping
you could help us.
Speaker 2: With that, Donna.
Speaker 3: And he is in Bowling Green, Yes, football football town.
Speaker 2: Huh Bowling Green, Kentucky. Yes, it's where he's from.
Speaker 3: Tore he got that accent, yeah, huh.
Speaker 5: Well yeah, I'm not a makeup artist.
Speaker 2: No, we don't.
Speaker 3: We're not asking you to do makeup. We just want
to brown up the meat a little.
Speaker 2: No, sir, No, who is this?
Speaker 3: This is Kevin from the Connors and Farris Funeral Home.
Speaker 5: Kevin, I am so sorry.
Speaker 2: I am not going to be able to help you.
Speaker 3: What if we three a few extra bucks? The Holtz
family's got a lot of money. They probably do, but
I'm not your girl.
Speaker 2: I just appreciate you're thinking of me, though.
Speaker 3: The pulp is going to fly in for this because
he was Notre Dame's head coach's.
Speaker 1: Yes, really, that's so cool.
Speaker 3: Well, you know what, there are a ton of other
places that you could probably contact. I am I'm so booked.
Speaker 2: I can't even get what's this guy's.
Speaker 3: Name again, Lou Holtz. I cannot get him in.
Speaker 2: You can't go book I can't know.
Speaker 5: I cannot even get.
Speaker 3: Him in Bowling Green's favorite son. You can't get to
just like, you know, color him.
Speaker 2: A little but walk. Yeah, I'm Can you.
Speaker 3: Recommend another tanning salon? I can't know because I don't
really know of any other ones.
Speaker 2: Okay, now are you guys like, do you guys do.
Speaker 3: Spray tans or do you do like the uh you
lay in the bed?
Speaker 2: No, we do not do the lay in the bed.
The lay in the bed is very bad for you
and can actually get you in a situation like mister
holt Ah.
Speaker 3: Okay, we don't need Well, he's already gone, so it
really wouldn't matter. I just need I even stand him up.
You want to spray him. That's all I did.
Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm so good. I appreciate you.
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you, Dot, I appreciate your help today. Okay,
have a good night, you too.
Speaker 2: You got it. Good bye, David. What are you doing
bringing up louy dead? I know, but bowling Green it
could totally happen. No, he would like that was that
was the tipping point for her. Okay, she didn't believe it,
but she kept going well because she was just playing
along her friendly. You weren't giving her too hard of
a time. But all right, we got one more.
Speaker 3: I won't do lou Holtz this type.
Speaker 2: I'll just say missus Johnson, missus Johnson, or just say
like the Johnson family, Uh, you know they're they're they're
very uh I don't know, philanthropic and around town, or
even say you're calling from a different place. It like
I'm calling from Lexington. They're very pilanthropic in Lexington and
you know something like that. I don't know, but that
was such an obvious it's iculous. I go, man, we're
out of practice. Got to get better. But how long
we were on the phone with her though, I did
not get it right down the time, I didn't. I
can go back and find out. I can figure that out.
Speaker 3: Blue Holtz is in Bowling Green. Kay, he's gonna be
very next to the secretariat.
Speaker 2: What's the problem slate tanning salon? It's just generic enough.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're probably not with it.
Speaker 2: Just generic enough. Now the problem is, I think we
may have to I may have to go get a burner.
I think that's the problem.
Speaker 5: How may help you?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 3: Yes, who am I speaking with? Please?
Speaker 5: This is Addie.
Speaker 2: Hi, Addie.
Speaker 3: My name is Kevin and I'm calling from the Connors
and Farris Funeral Home here in town.
Speaker 2: How are you today? I'm good? How are you good? Good?
We have a little situation here.
Speaker 3: As you know, we do funerals here and we have
a very wealthy, philanthropic family in town, the Johnson's, who
you have to have a showing tomorrow in our makeup artist,
Yvonne is out sick with the herbs, and we were
hoping that we could get some get some color for
the body of missus Johnson before the showing tomorrow or
this family's gonna lose their crap.
Speaker 5: Oh, so, I'm fortunately we don't have any makeup artists here.
Speaker 3: Well, you guys do spray tanning. Yes, okay, all I
need is some color so I can bring missus Johnson
by after hours or even now if you like. All
we got to do. We got the her. We'll just
swing her in on a gurney and then we just
prop her up in the spray tanning bed and you
guys could just spray her up and down real quick,
because like this showings tomorrow and we're good, I mean,
and Yvonne's not coming back. She may be transitioning, so
we don't know who's coming back. We just know that
we got to get this body some color.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 5: Can I give you a call back and I'll talk
to one on my managers see if we can do that. Yeah, absolutely,
And then what was your name? My name is Laura, okay,
and I'll get is just a good number to call
you back on. Yes, yes, okay, I'll give you a
call back.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you. Okay, Now that wasn't funny, but
she bought.
Speaker 2: It, okay, so we're gonna have to come in here.
Speaker 3: It just just blast them out for it for like
three hours until we get like three good ones.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean that's what you But she shouldn't
be able to call back, because she does.
Speaker 3: If she does call back, be like, hey, listen, they
changed plans.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to say,
what are you talking about? I'm in Rochester? Where are
you from? All Right? I thought she didn't play.
Speaker 3: I mean she played along, but she wasn't playing like
she thought we were serious. Yeah, well she was smart
enough to say we don't have any makeup artists. I'm like, yeah,
I know, we gotta do spray tans, right, Well, yeah,
I could I have handled it better.
Speaker 2: I think the way we used to say it was
our makeup artist is off. We're kind of stuck. Can
we bring the body over and you give it a
little spray tan? Okay? So that way we're not saying
like we're looking for a makeup artist, although it's not
terrible because they all that's like twice we've heard that, right, Yes,
But if we say, if you say, we're really in
a jam, we've got a showing at ten am tomorrow
for the family, only big philanthropic family. Can we get
the can we get the body over?
Speaker 3: This is Amanda. Hi, Amanda, my name is Laura and
I'm calling from the funeral home down the road.
Speaker 2: How you doing tonight? Good?
Speaker 1: You're calling from where at the funeral home?
Speaker 3: And then we got a little problem and I was
wondering if you guys could help us out here.
Speaker 2: Do you guys do spray tans? I don't.
Speaker 3: You don't, okay, but that's even better. You do regular tans?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Okay, great, great. We have a little situation here. Our
makeup artist, Yvonne died two days ago, and so since
she was our makeup artist, we don't have anybody to
make up for her. So we're wondering if we could
bring her by and just throwing a tanning bed real quick,
get maybe twenty minutes, get some get some redness for her.
So cauld we have a showing tomorrow morning, private funeral,
and we're wondering if we can bring her by. You
guys come highly recommended, and we can bring her by
and get, you know, proun up the meat a little bit.
Speaker 2: That is hilarious, but no thanks, it's hilarious. No, I'm serious.
She died.
Speaker 3: We have no way of calling her up. Her family's
going to be out of their mind. She's worked for
us for twenty five years.
Speaker 2: No, you can no, thank you? Are you sure because
we'll pay extra? Okay, okay, all right, well okay, all right,
we got three, right, yeah, we got three. All right,
we'll work on it. We'll work on it.
Speaker 3: But we'red I go wrong with that one.
Speaker 2: Was she just not Was she just not dumb enough
to do it? Yes?
Speaker 3: Yes, so we have to if people were dumber so
many years ago.
Speaker 2: Well, first we were calling from a block number. Then
I went through a different number that I have that
I'm fine with because even if they call back, it
would be funny to play those messages back, because you
know what I mean. Yeah, So we'll work on that. Okay,
all right, So we got some bugs.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're gonna work out the bugs. Dan, I thought,
I thought, that's the we're gonna good.
Speaker 2: What do you apologize?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: I thought, you know, seeing that's all right for Dan
Barrella bringing back the old.
Speaker 3: Bitch baby red flag. Anybody who does old bits.
Speaker 2: I'm Bill Moran. We'll see you next time. And opportunity
for me is just a curse that judge and make
us feel I don't have the wig