Speaker 1: So I'm in the living room the other day and
Speaker 1: my husband's watching this TV show that I have never watched,
Speaker 1: and I don't it's it was called It's called The
Speaker 1: Accused or something like that, and it's one of those
Speaker 1: anthology shows. For each week it's a different court case,
Speaker 1: and I have no interest in it, so I don't
Speaker 1: watch it with him, but he's watching it, and I
Speaker 1: can see that there's there's a woman on screen. There's
Speaker 1: an actress on screen that is the lead. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't recognize her. Generally speaking, I will recognize an actress,
Speaker 1: but who knows, Maybe it's Canadian production. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Then she goes and she sits down with two of
Speaker 1: her friends, and her friends are played by Christine Eversol,
Speaker 1: who's not nobody, and Mercedes.
Speaker 2: Rule, who is definitely somebody.
Speaker 1: Who's an Oscar winner. So now I'm like, wait a
Speaker 1: fucking minute, how who is this person? I don't know
Speaker 1: that somehow got the lead and has Mercedes Rule in
Speaker 1: Christine Eversol playing her sidekick. And let me let me
Speaker 1: explain to you that like like like Mercedes Rule looks
Speaker 1: like like a New Yorker from the seventies who lived
Speaker 1: through everything right, And Christiane Eversoul looks like a New
Speaker 1: Yorker who doesn't believe nine to eleven happened, Like she's
Speaker 1: a nine to eleven truther, right, Like that's what she
Speaker 1: looks like. And this other woman looks like she has
Speaker 1: lived on a spot in California for all her days.
Speaker 1: She looks like she's had no work done. It has
Speaker 1: never had a moment of stress in her entire life,
Speaker 1: and no plastic surgery. And I'm like, okay, who is
Speaker 1: this woman? Erica? I had to look it up. And
Speaker 1: this is how I found out that I do not
Speaker 1: know what Deborah Winger looks like because I went into
Speaker 1: her IMDb and I have never seen a Deborah Winger movie.
Speaker 2: How is that possible?
Speaker 1: And every time someone says Deborah Winger, I picture Barbara Hershey,
Speaker 1: who is not Deborah Winger.
Speaker 2: No, she is.
Speaker 3: Inger.
Speaker 2: And pictures of women I show you like Angela Bassett
Speaker 2: and I'm like Deborah Winger.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, that's Angela Bassett. That what I know. Yeah, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm Paul and America and this is that aged.
Speaker 2: Well yesterday's pop culture.
Speaker 1: Today in Erica? It is it is the month of love.
Speaker 1: We're doing romances all of February.
Speaker 2: Yes, la more, la more.
Speaker 1: La moux. That's my French today.
Speaker 3: Spent takes place in France, so we shall discuss Le
Speaker 3: moure Mour.
Speaker 1: The only person who speaks in a French accent is
Speaker 1: the only actual French actress who appears once.
Speaker 2: One scene. You get twenty minutes with Jan Bureau. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's twenty seconds, twenty seconds of genre.
Speaker 2: No, no, but they had they had to film her
Speaker 2: for twenty minutes. She came in, She's like, you got twenty.
Speaker 1: Minutes done, and I'm out. And we do have a
Speaker 1: couple of five star reviews to read. Do you want
Speaker 1: to read the first one?
Speaker 2: Sure? First review comes from True Crime Diva seventeen Diva
Speaker 2: va ahday right, smart and hilarious. I started listening on
Speaker 2: a recommendation from another podcast, and I'm one thousand percent
Speaker 2: glad I did. I'm guessing it was a true crime podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: They cover a wider ray of movies from modern to classic,
Speaker 2: with some TV thrown in occasionally. I did not sum
Speaker 2: up this podcast better myself.
Speaker 1: By the way, you're hired True Crime Diva.
Speaker 2: You're hired. Even when I don't know much about the
Speaker 2: movie they're covering, it always makes me laugh and I
Speaker 2: usually learn something about the movie making process or the
Speaker 2: actors involved.
Speaker 1: Ten out of ten look great. Teachers can engage an audience, Yes, right,
Speaker 1: we do that with humor and actual facts. We are
Speaker 1: educators first and foremost, which is why I go through
Speaker 1: the podcast with a fine tooth comb afterwards, be like,
Speaker 1: is that actually correct? What we just said? Is that
Speaker 1: actually truly? Ninety percent of the time we're right, or
Speaker 1: at least we'll be like, I'm not positive about that.
Speaker 1: You should check out of the edit. Let's not make
Speaker 1: too much about that fact, just in case I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: We have another star review Erico. This is from podcast Addict,
Speaker 1: because I finally have a service that sends me reviews
Speaker 1: from other things that are not Apple podcasts, so we
Speaker 1: start sprinkling these in as well. And this review is
Speaker 1: from non Sam Nice.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: They say I started with the Grease Too episode and
Speaker 1: soon realized that Paul and Erica are friendship goals. Greece Too, Son.
Speaker 2: Of Greece, A Tale of two kiddies.
Speaker 1: Greece to Son of Greece, Romulus, Son of Greece, June
Speaker 1: Greece to Son of Greece, the legend of Ron Burgundy.
Speaker 4: Son of Greece, Wrath of Cohn, Oh God Greece to
Speaker 4: Son of Greece for good, which is the new subtitle
Speaker 4: of the Wicked Movie of the second Wicked Movie.
Speaker 2: Oh there you go, There you go.
Speaker 1: Yeah that we're thinking ahead now, all right? Nano goes
Speaker 1: on with no notes. The chemistry and laughter they share
Speaker 1: are bright spots to my monday now that I've consumed
Speaker 1: the back catalog and am all caught up. Thanks for
Speaker 1: not making me feel too guilty for continuing to love
Speaker 1: the movies from my youth. That is the goal. We
Speaker 1: think you should love them.
Speaker 2: One should never feel guilty about what brings one joy.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Love the thing you love. Just acknowledge that it's garbage sometimes, yeah,
Speaker 2: and continue to love the thing you love. It's like
Speaker 2: taco bell Is it good for you? No? Do we
Speaker 2: love it? Yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Do I need to have seven pints of
Speaker 1: ice cream in my house right now?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: But they're there and they give me comfort knowing that
Speaker 1: they're there. Yeah, you know exactly, all right, nonse Imo.
Speaker 1: True Crime Divi seventeen Thank you so much for these
Speaker 1: podcast reviews. If you would like a tote bag, please
Speaker 1: just contact me let me know. You can do it
Speaker 1: on social media, you can do it through email. I
Speaker 1: will send those off for you right away. Erica, what
Speaker 1: is the Roman so that we are speaking of today?
Speaker 2: Ah? You know, we haven't pissed off the French in
Speaker 2: a while. I'm excited. I'm excited to find I'm excited
Speaker 2: to be rude to French people once again. On this.
Speaker 1: Broke my heart and now I'm making for you.
Speaker 2: There you go. Today's film is the nineteen ninety eight
Speaker 2: period romantic drama ever After.
Speaker 1: This is you know what. I copied and pasted that
Speaker 1: from somewhere. This is a comedy. This is a straight
Speaker 1: up comedy. It's a rom com. I would actually almost
Speaker 1: say it's just a it's just a comedy, like it's
Speaker 1: The romance is fine in it. But the best parts
Speaker 1: of this movie are the one liners far away.
Speaker 2: There is like there is a sous of sadness to it.
Speaker 2: There is an underpinning of sadness.
Speaker 1: We kill enough parents and you get it has to
Speaker 1: get sad.
Speaker 2: There is that. There's also just there's a scene between
Speaker 2: the like Drew Barrymore and Angelica Houston. That actually kind
Speaker 2: of breaks my heart a little bit.
Speaker 1: I know exactly which one you're talking about. Like, what
Speaker 1: is this even doing in this movie?
Speaker 2: Oh? Shot my heart, my poor little heart.
Speaker 1: Yes, all right, Erica. Ever After, by the way, every
Speaker 1: like any true Sandie head, every time I hear ever After,
Speaker 1: I think ever after, which is a song from into
Speaker 1: the Woods. So every time you say ever after, in
Speaker 1: my head, I go ever After. Journey over all his
Speaker 1: men did, and it's not just for two days.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. I didn't get your first song
Speaker 2: reference either.
Speaker 1: You don't get a razure ou La Moore. No that
Speaker 1: you should be embarrassed about. I knew you wouldn't know
Speaker 1: ever After, I.
Speaker 2: Should be very I was like, you know what, just
Speaker 2: play along, keep it moving, keep it moving.
Speaker 1: If I say chains of love, do you understand chains
Speaker 1: of love?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 1: Come to me, covering me, hold me together. We'll break
Speaker 1: these chains of love.
Speaker 2: Well, clearly I have some homework to do today.
Speaker 1: Yea, I will send you these are These are important songs, Erica,
Speaker 1: These are these are the British Songbook. Because I ninety
Speaker 1: nine percent sure rasure is British Okay, all Right, ever
Speaker 1: After ever After was request did by Heather Ellen, Lauren, Emily, Camille,
Speaker 1: Jan Bethany, Sarah and Abby. It was written by Susanna Grant,
Speaker 1: Andy Tennant and Rick Parks. It was directed by Tennant
Speaker 1: and stars Drew Barrymore, Angelica Houston, Doug Gray, Scott, Patrick Godfrey,
Speaker 1: Megan Dodds and Melanie Lynskey. Each and everyone an assassin
Speaker 1: with one exception.
Speaker 2: With one giant normous exception. And I'm gonna throw Richard
Speaker 2: O'Brien in here. Absolutely, motherfucking O'Brien is in this movie.
Speaker 2: It sings.
Speaker 1: It sings when.
Speaker 2: He's on screen.
Speaker 1: Toby Jones in this movie. He has three scenes. He's great,
Speaker 1: He's fantastic. Everyone down, all the way down the call list.
Speaker 2: Angela Lansbury's cousin is in this movie. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2: She's a Lansbury, this woman, and she fucking nails it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ever After is what ever after? Sorry?
Speaker 2: Ever After?
Speaker 1: Ever After?
Speaker 2: Okay is one of.
Speaker 1: The few.
Speaker 2: Retellings of Cinderella that issues all supernatural elements of the story,
Speaker 2: instead treating it as historical fiction. It has been called
Speaker 2: a postfeminist reinterpretation of the fairy tale.
Speaker 1: I will give the movie credit. It has. It has
Speaker 1: its feminist like I don't mean this to sound condescending,
Speaker 1: but it's like first thought feminist stuff in order, right,
Speaker 1: Like she's not rescued by a prince. They deepen one
Speaker 1: of the evil stepsister characters, right, so it's not just
Speaker 1: like every other woman in the story is a complete
Speaker 1: awful human being, like one of them is nice.
Speaker 2: Well, I would even say it gives a lot more
Speaker 2: depth to the evil stepmother. I think the evil stepmother. Oh,
Speaker 2: she is evil, like, she continues to be evil, but
Speaker 2: they give her like reasons, yeah, for being evil. She's
Speaker 2: not just some like like mustache chorly villain.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I actually think it's quite feminist.
Speaker 1: I really liked it. I really had a good time
Speaker 1: with it. It's silly, but it knows it's silly.
Speaker 2: A real I have one huge issue with the film.
Speaker 2: Oat to say it now, because I can't get I
Speaker 2: have to get it out of the way. I think
Speaker 2: Drew Barrymore is terrible in this movie.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Erica, why would you even say that
Speaker 1: about Drew Barrymore.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't understand what you mean. Paul, how could
Speaker 2: you think she's even any good in this? I like
Speaker 2: Drew Barrymore. I have loved her in other things. I
Speaker 2: think she's so charming. She's a charming human being. Also, like,
Speaker 2: even though it takes place in France, everyone's doing an
Speaker 2: English accent. The Drew Barrymore accent is so it's so
Speaker 2: fucking bad that it never stops being distracting. For some reason,
Speaker 2: they just were like everyone speaking in an English.
Speaker 1: Accent, including like Leonardo da Vinci, to be clear.
Speaker 2: Including Leonardo da Vinci.
Speaker 1: It's a perfect English accent.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make any fucking sense. Why is he English?
Speaker 4: True?
Speaker 1: They're saying we called him from Italy. They're acknowledging that
Speaker 1: he's from Italy.
Speaker 2: They're all calling him in your senora and he's like,
Speaker 2: oh hello, my name is Nado. Like they should have
Speaker 2: gotten ten minutes into filming and be like.
Speaker 1: Cut, it's true, because like you're you're better at that
Speaker 1: than me, Like you'll be more bothered by a bad
Speaker 1: accent than I am, because you have a better ear
Speaker 1: for it. And even this one, even I can't defend
Speaker 1: Erica ever After. Ever After has a ninety one percent
Speaker 1: critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an eighty four percent
Speaker 1: audience score. It has a seventy eight percent critical rating
Speaker 1: on Cherry Picks.
Speaker 2: Look, I actually think ninety one is fine. Again, it
Speaker 2: sucks because the main character, the main actress, the one
Speaker 2: we're all supposed to like pan all of our hopes
Speaker 2: and dreams on, is not good. But everyone else is
Speaker 2: hitting Abdubrae Scott, who is so miscast?
Speaker 1: Uh huh?
Speaker 2: Who is thirty five? Is he?
Speaker 1: He is ten years too old for this.
Speaker 2: Role playing a teenager and looks it. Yeah, it's absurd,
Speaker 2: and yet that man is sweating blood to make this
Speaker 2: shit work. He is so good movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you know that he was supposed to play
Speaker 1: Wolfver reading the X Men movies and he had to
Speaker 1: drop out because of an injury from Mission Impossible? And
Speaker 1: that is why Hugh Jackman has a career.
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, cool, Like I'm happy for both of them.
Speaker 1: I guess, yes, they both seem fine.
Speaker 2: I did look up do Gray Scott after this, because
Speaker 2: I was like, man, you really should have been a
Speaker 2: bigger star than I think you've become. But it turns
Speaker 2: out he actually he works a ton. If you look
Speaker 2: at his IMDb. He plays a lot of villains. I
Speaker 2: think he does have a little bit of a villainy face,
Speaker 2: so I get that like a sexy villainy face.
Speaker 1: He's also married to Claire Forlani and has not to
Speaker 1: our knowledge, been ping pong between passing cars. Yes, which
Speaker 1: is the.
Speaker 2: Fate that befalls all of Claire four Lani's lovers.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right, that's right. I agree that the Drew
Speaker 1: Barrymore performance is rough in this Like, she, to me
Speaker 1: is one of the people that like just shouldn't be
Speaker 1: in period pieces. There's something about her that screams like
Speaker 1: modern day California girl. And I don't think she can
Speaker 1: shed it. Like it's just her energy.
Speaker 2: It's like putting Juliet Lewis in a p Yeah, it's like, no,
Speaker 2: it doesn't fucking.
Speaker 1: Work for me. It does get to the point where
Speaker 1: it kind of becomes a feature, not a bug, because
Speaker 1: she look, we're being mean to Drew Barrymore. She is trying.
Speaker 1: Drew Barrymore is doing her level best. She's not phoning
Speaker 1: it in. She is screaming and crying and tearing out
Speaker 1: her hair every time she's supposed to.
Speaker 2: And there are some moments where she gets me, like
Speaker 2: when she starts to cry. That one scene that I'm
Speaker 2: talking about with her and Angelica Houston and she starts
Speaker 2: to cry, and I'm like, holy shit, you're really good.
Speaker 2: There's like another scene with her and you Gray Scott
Speaker 2: where I can't quite recall, but I think he says
Speaker 2: something lovely to her and she laughs and smiles and
Speaker 2: she like lights up the screen, and I'm like, she's
Speaker 2: so good in these moments where she doesn't talk.
Speaker 1: But I like, I really had fun with this very
Speaker 1: silly movie. I had a really good time with it too.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with ninety percent. I'm going to take the
Speaker 1: absolute piss out of it, to be clear, but like,
Speaker 1: I really liked it. Uh, Erica, when did you first
Speaker 1: see ever after?
Speaker 2: I saw it?
Speaker 1: Ever after.
Speaker 2: I saw it in the theater, Paul, I saw this
Speaker 2: movie in the movie theater, and I really remembered loving it.
Speaker 2: I've probably seen it like five times since then, like
Speaker 2: kind of right after I saw it, and then I
Speaker 2: have not seen it in like twenty years. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: it has been a long time between viewings. And the
Speaker 2: only thing I kind of remembered is that Drew barrymore
Speaker 2: was not good, and so I think I thought the
Speaker 2: movie was worse than it is okay, because I remember
Speaker 2: like being like, all right, so I'm going to watch
Speaker 2: ever After, I guess, and now I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 2: this is fucking funny. It's fun I mean, I cannot
Speaker 2: express enough how good Angelica Houston is, truly.
Speaker 1: She's leaving no crumbs, as the kids say.
Speaker 2: Leaving no crumbs. Well, when did you first see Ever After?
Speaker 1: I don't know if I saw it in theaters, but
Speaker 1: I did see it, like when it came out at
Speaker 1: some point, like I definitely watched it. I think one
Speaker 1: of my good friends really loved this movie. I think
Speaker 1: she had the bhs ooh, you said you watched about
Speaker 1: five times, guessing it's about that like over the course
Speaker 1: of like the years right after it came out, I
Speaker 1: watched it five times. There are moments in this movie.
Speaker 1: I don't know that I could have quoted them, but
Speaker 1: when they happened, I could have said the line along
Speaker 1: with with the people, mostly Angelica Houston and Megan Dodds,
Speaker 1: who is absolutely slaying as the wicked step sister.
Speaker 2: No one line that lives rent for you in my
Speaker 2: head is no it's not what you're thinking. It's a
Speaker 2: Melanie Lynsky line when she goes, I'm just here for
Speaker 2: the food, that's right.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, so yeah, And I kind of similar
Speaker 1: to you. I remember liking it and thinking it was fun,
Speaker 1: thinking it was funny. I had a big crush on
Speaker 1: Doug gray Scott or do gray Scott. However you say this, I'm.
Speaker 2: Choosing to pronounce it like a Scotsman would Gray. I
Speaker 2: have not earned that right, by the way, but I'm
Speaker 2: doing it anyway.
Speaker 1: Gree uh So. Yeah. And then I hadn't seen it
Speaker 1: in forever, and then I watched it and like my
Speaker 1: husband actually watched it with me, and we were both
Speaker 1: like laughing, like the funny moments really Land, it's very funny.
Speaker 2: It's very Megan. You're absolutely right, Meg, Dodds is killing.
Speaker 1: Us, you know what. It reminded me of a little bit.
Speaker 1: And I also haven't seen this movie in forever. So
Speaker 1: but like A Night's Tale when they were like intentionally
Speaker 1: sending up all of that stuff, and that was even
Speaker 1: more of a comedy than this, Like that was really
Speaker 1: like they were using modern music and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: like they were really playing with it. But like, there's
Speaker 1: a little bit of that in this movie. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of meta stuff in this.
Speaker 2: Yes, I love A Night's Tale and A Night's Sale
Speaker 2: is a perfect correlation because it is another excellent, excellent
Speaker 2: film with one truly terrible performance. It's not I'm not
Speaker 2: coming for Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger is perfect. It's it's
Speaker 2: the love interest that why do.
Speaker 1: You hate women? I do?
Speaker 2: I just hate women?
Speaker 1: Why are you coming for? Watch this poll? Shannon Sassman,
Speaker 1: you're on this podcast? I they even look that up?
Speaker 2: Did you knew that women's name? I had no idea
Speaker 2: what that woman's name was. I was like, all I know,
Speaker 2: she made like three movies. Hollywood was like, na, even
Speaker 2: go back to modeling. Maybe just go back to modeling.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're supposed to be an.
Speaker 1: Actor, all right, Erica. The tagline forever After, ever After
Speaker 1: was and You're gonna hate this so much. I can't wait.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for this reaction. Desire, defy, escape, no
Speaker 1: fuck you. It sounds like an ad for one of
Speaker 1: Straan Jay's perfumes from Boomerang, which could not be less.
Speaker 1: What the feeling of this.
Speaker 2: Movie the Wire. They have two very dry kisses. This
Speaker 2: is not about desires.
Speaker 1: They have two Hallmark movie kisses and then everybody moves on.
Speaker 2: And everyone moves the fuck on. They like, you could
Speaker 2: see him at one point kind of open his mouth
Speaker 2: and Drew Barrymore be like, that's not nope.
Speaker 1: We're not doing that.
Speaker 2: We're not doing that, sir, monsieur.
Speaker 1: No, no, no.
Speaker 2: Sweet no, that's not.
Speaker 1: Correct, friend, not even remotely.
Speaker 2: Shall I read the iTunes synopsis please? A modern young
Speaker 2: woman of the sixteenth century, Danielle Drew Barrymore is as
Speaker 2: independent and wise as she is beautiful and kind. Against
Speaker 2: remarkable odds, she stands after her scheming stepmother and Jelica
Speaker 2: Houston and works miracle the lives of everyone around her,
Speaker 2: including the Crown Prince of France. Do Gray Scott perfect
Speaker 2: by the way, but didn't bother me. They didn't call
Speaker 2: him the Dauphin? Is it because he's thirty five? So
Speaker 2: weird to call them the dophins the whole time? Every
Speaker 2: time they're like, but you owe the Crown Prince of
Speaker 2: Prumps And I'm like, that's not how they would say it.
Speaker 2: They would call him the Dauphin. You fucking apples.
Speaker 1: It didn't occur to me, but now it's gonna bother
Speaker 1: me every time I watch it.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I wonder if that was a descriptive originally. And
Speaker 2: they're like, we cannot call this middle aged man. We cannot.
Speaker 1: He's thirty. He's legitimately, I looked it up. He's thirty
Speaker 1: two when they filmed this, because he was thirty three
Speaker 1: when it came out. So like he is, he's too
Speaker 1: old for this part. Love. He's great and sexy, sexy. Yes,
Speaker 1: he makes the cod pieces work.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I am into all of this to be
Speaker 2: fare you're too old shirt.
Speaker 1: But when he starts like pouting to his parents, it's like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you can pay your rent. Like I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: like when you see Adam Rapp and Anthony at whatever
Speaker 1: his name is in the ret movie. They're like, we're
Speaker 1: not gonna pay rent. Get a job, Get a job.
Speaker 2: What are you doing? He's like, I can't get married.
Speaker 2: I'm too young. And I'm like, girl, you got three
Speaker 2: fertile years left. I would jump on this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sorry, Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal, That's what I was
Speaker 1: trying to Those names.
Speaker 2: Had to happen you know people were yelling at their
Speaker 2: at their computers.
Speaker 1: Right, Uh, Erica, do you have an actual synopsis? Forever After,
Speaker 1: ever After?
Speaker 3: Sir, a bird may love a fish, but where will
Speaker 3: they live? Sir, A Houston and a Barrymore may share
Speaker 3: a screen, but only one of them would be any good.
Speaker 1: The Houston shall come for the Barrymore and leave nothing
Speaker 1: but bleached bones in her wake.
Speaker 2: The Houston will eat the Barrymore alive, and belcher on
Speaker 2: the way out of the room twill.
Speaker 1: Be a nature video not allowed on PBS. All right, everyone,
Speaker 1: stick around. We're gonna play some commercials here and then
Speaker 1: we're gonna come back and we're gonna take you through
Speaker 1: ever after, ever After. If you do not want to
Speaker 1: listen to commercials, all you gotta do is skidaddle your
Speaker 1: butt over to the Patreon patreon dot com slash that
Speaker 1: Adel podcast. You sign up for any paid tier. We
Speaker 1: give you add free episodes. You can gift memberships now
Speaker 1: so you can give people add free episodes and more.
Speaker 1: That's not all you get. You get a lot more
Speaker 1: than that. But go to Patreon explore have fun. If
Speaker 1: you're not gonna do that, no problem, stick around. We
Speaker 1: will be right back and we're back all right before
Speaker 1: we even get started, Erica, do you I have another
Speaker 1: Erasure song that I'm sure you know, give a little
Speaker 1: respect do.
Speaker 2: Me?
Speaker 1: No, you got nothing singing these right? It's impossible, but
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm that bad. Like the song give
Speaker 1: a little respect.
Speaker 3: Me.
Speaker 1: It's like way up, find the head voice?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, wow, I am.
Speaker 1: People are throwing things at their phones right now.
Speaker 2: I am moving to Spotify. I'm ignoring your you right
Speaker 2: now and moving to Spotify Erasure.
Speaker 1: Because it's like next, I'm gonna go to like Blue
Speaker 1: Savannah song, which you definitely don't know if you don't
Speaker 1: know the other three that are saying, okay, we're.
Speaker 2: Gonna possibly listen to a little respect just to speak sure,
Speaker 2: hang on? Oh yes, yes, of course I know who
Speaker 2: they are.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, thank you, thank you?
Speaker 2: Oh no offense. You have a beautiful, lovely, dulcient tone
Speaker 2: of voice. You always have. I've always thought, so you cannot.
Speaker 2: You cannot synth pop with just the vocal and expect
Speaker 2: me to know what you're talking about?
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, We'll take a poll of the listeners.
Speaker 1: Which ones of you knew what songs I was referring
Speaker 1: to what I goot, and.
Speaker 2: Once I heard a little bit of a little respect,
Speaker 2: I was like, got it. Okay, now I know this song.
Speaker 1: I'll try to train my voice fielding those synth sounds
Speaker 1: next time.
Speaker 2: It sounds like the intron to the Muppets, it does,
Speaker 2: all right, I'm gonna do a synthpop song in the
Speaker 2: middle of this, like like in twenty minutes from now.
Speaker 2: I'm going to pick a synthpop song and just do
Speaker 2: the lyrics and see if you get what I'm talking
Speaker 2: about with just the lyrics.
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, So back to the movie, back to
Speaker 1: ever After. Ever After We open presumptively sometime in the
Speaker 1: mid eighteen hundreds. The brothers Grim, Yes, Erica, those brothers Grim,
Speaker 1: The brothers.
Speaker 2: Grim, only one of whom has a German accent.
Speaker 1: Correct not fucking trying, which I honestly I wish it
Speaker 1: had been the roadmap for the rest of this Just
Speaker 1: let the accents run wild. Who cares their call to
Speaker 1: an audience with the Grand Dame played by one.
Speaker 2: Jean Moreau, the Great Jean Moreau.
Speaker 1: The woman that Orson Wells once called the greatest actress
Speaker 1: in the world.
Speaker 2: Wow, honestly, I can't. I couldn't believe she was in this,
Speaker 2: and then I remembered it. Angelica Houston was also in this,
Speaker 2: and I was like, this movie is punching so hard
Speaker 2: above its weight. This movie in terms of acting like
Speaker 2: it didn't know it had Melanie Lynsky on its hands
Speaker 2: at the time. So I'm gonna let Melanie Lynsky pass.
Speaker 1: But the rest of it like she was just trying
Speaker 1: to make rent at that point. I'm not yet married
Speaker 1: to a ritter. I need some I need some cash.
Speaker 2: Honestly, if you if if I was like twenty years
Speaker 2: old and they're like, do you want to film a
Speaker 2: movie in France for three months, I'd be like, yes, yes, Like,
Speaker 2: don't even tell me.
Speaker 1: What it is.
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 1: I know porn shoots don't go that long. So I'm fine.
Speaker 1: We're good, all right. So the grand Dame tells the
Speaker 1: brothers grim that she enjoys their stories but is disappointed
Speaker 1: in their adaptation of the Cinderella Tale.
Speaker 2: The way their faces fall is so hilarious. They're like,
Speaker 2: she likes our stories, but I don't care for Cindrella.
Speaker 2: Oh so sad. I'm like, guys, you met her a
Speaker 2: minute ago. Relax.
Speaker 1: The brothers point out that no one could know the
Speaker 1: true story, and then notice Leonardo da Vinci's head of
Speaker 1: a woman portrait hanging in the Grand Dame's room.
Speaker 2: She lives in the louver. We forgot to mention that part.
Speaker 1: Oh, I needn't realize that.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm joking.
Speaker 1: I thought the outside was actually the louver. I was like,
Speaker 1: I did see the pyramid.
Speaker 2: It looks like an anachronistic like Picasso behind her.
Speaker 1: It's also part of his blue period hanging there, Like.
Speaker 2: Is that journey gap? Why is that here?
Speaker 1: But it does say something about the movie that you
Speaker 1: said that, and I fully bought it. Fully was like,
Speaker 1: oh really, wow, you're so much better at this shit
Speaker 1: than me. You recognize things, all right. The Grand Dame
Speaker 1: tells them that the woman in the portrait's name was Danielle.
Speaker 1: She produces a truly ug quote unquote glass slipper. I
Speaker 1: mean this is this is a clog. This is a
Speaker 1: fabric covered toe with a looseight heel and some some
Speaker 1: jazzling on it.
Speaker 2: These are these are this is an old timey stripper slipper. Right,
Speaker 2: these are stripper heels.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they would wear them at the Mulain Rouge after
Speaker 1: the cancn was over, because they coudn't wear them during
Speaker 1: the cancan because they would fly off during the kicking.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, she offers to set the record straight.
Speaker 2: And the brothers, the brothers grim are like, oh, tell
Speaker 2: us more dumb. Also, okay, I obviously we're not supposed
Speaker 2: to know yet. Spoiler she marries the prince, right, Cinderella
Speaker 2: marries the prince, so she's probably like a princess a friend,
Speaker 2: like she's someone like she's like, they don't walk, get
Speaker 2: to go, your highness.
Speaker 1: But no, they call her your majesty.
Speaker 2: They do. Oh okay, okay.
Speaker 1: But it's also like you think about it and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: in between the fifteen hundreds and the eighteen hundreds, I
Speaker 1: think there was a pretty big revolution in France.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I don't think anything happened.
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure that's fine, And I don't know
Speaker 1: that I know the ideals that will come to the
Speaker 1: French prince in this movie. You get to play out
Speaker 1: in history.
Speaker 2: I just got that. You're right, she is post revolution.
Speaker 2: Now there is still a royal family, there's still some
Speaker 2: remnants of a royal family at that point, which is
Speaker 2: maybe why her title is Grandam and not. This actually
Speaker 2: makes a lot more sense, you know what. I'm giving
Speaker 2: the movie credit now because it did not occur to
Speaker 2: me that, of course she used in post revolutionary friends.
Speaker 2: In my head, she's like ten years after the rest
Speaker 2: of us. All right, So we cut back from post
Speaker 2: revolutionary France. That is so important to mention. Heads are
Speaker 2: rolling on the streets of Paris.
Speaker 1: This woman somehow escaped the guillotine by the skin of
Speaker 1: her teeth. I can only presis she was a baby
Speaker 1: when it happened.
Speaker 2: That's probably why. That's the only reason why we cut
Speaker 2: back to pre revolutionary France, when the fucking peasants could
Speaker 2: just eat shit and die. Yeah, aka the fifteen hundred's Renaissance, Yes,
Speaker 2: the Renaissance, if you will. We find eight year old
Speaker 2: Danielle de Barbarak, a kind hearted but rambunctious girl, on
Speaker 2: her estate outside of Paris. She comes from like a
Speaker 2: wealthy merchants family.
Speaker 1: I sit outside of Paris, but I don't she is
Speaker 1: walking distance from the castle. I don't know where the
Speaker 1: head of government was at that time in France, but
Speaker 1: she could not be more than a two hour walk
Speaker 1: from the castle. Absolute maximum, absolute maximum.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I'm really showing my whole ass here. I
Speaker 2: don't think the seat of the French government at this
Speaker 2: point is in Paris. I think they're like in the
Speaker 2: Loire Valley. I could be very wrong. We probably don't
Speaker 2: have any French listeners because of all the times we've
Speaker 2: made fun of French people. Yeah, but if we knew
Speaker 2: her French listeners or you know what, just educated ones.
Speaker 1: Let us know, let us know people with people with
Speaker 1: access to Google that we don't.
Speaker 2: Have, and we're choosing we're refusing to look up this
Speaker 2: very simple fact. So Danielle adores and is adored by
Speaker 2: all of the servants on the estate. She has a
Speaker 2: best friend, a local boy named Gustave, who is probably
Speaker 2: similar class from her, like lower like less wealthy, but
Speaker 2: not quite peasant class. Later on in the film, we're
Speaker 2: going to find out he is an artist's apprentice. He's
Speaker 2: going to be working as an artist, right, Paul, Is
Speaker 2: he supposed to be gay?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, that performance does not look It's not that I
Speaker 2: want a quote unquote gay performance from later Gustave in
Speaker 2: the film, but later Gustaf in the film. It is confusing.
Speaker 2: It is confusing. What is this relationship.
Speaker 1: I don't know that Gustav yet knows he's gay, but
Speaker 1: he does know he's fully not attracted to Danielle and
Speaker 1: loves doing her hair.
Speaker 2: He knows that her hair, loves helping her dress up,
Speaker 2: loves making her pretty for the ball.
Speaker 1: And could not be less interested in her tits. He's
Speaker 1: just like, oh, look your boobs, Like, Hi, you look
Speaker 1: like a girl.
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess Senora da Vinci's going to teach him
Speaker 2: the way of the world.
Speaker 1: Let's just put it down in a weird way. It's
Speaker 1: just going to take him to, you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of gay bars. Yeahs are in Paris.
Speaker 2: Famously actual homosexual Yeah. Okay. So we learned that Daniel's
Speaker 2: mother died when Danielle was just a baby, and her
Speaker 2: kindly father a Goost. I love the actor who plays
Speaker 2: a Goost. He always is like one of those German
Speaker 2: actors that always shows up when you need a kindly
Speaker 2: older man. Thank you. He's been raising her on his own.
Speaker 2: And Danielle is thrilled because a gust is going to
Speaker 2: be returning home that day from having married a baroness.
Speaker 2: So she's getting a new mother and two new sisters
Speaker 2: all in one fell swoop. Nothing could go wrong. This
Speaker 2: is gonna be great for everyone. You can quote me
Speaker 2: on that.
Speaker 1: So a gust arrives with his new additions to the family.
Speaker 1: There's the Baroness, rod Milla de Ghent, played by Angelica Houston.
Speaker 1: Great name.
Speaker 2: He nails every scene in this movie. Absolutely no notes
Speaker 2: on Angelica Houston.
Speaker 1: None, and she has her two daughters who are of
Speaker 1: an age with Danielle. They are Marguerite and Jacqueline. Danielle
Speaker 1: runs up. She's covered in mud after a wrestling match
Speaker 1: with Gustave where he felt nothing. The Baroness sharply contains
Speaker 1: her immediate distas for this unkempt moppet that she is
Speaker 1: now spending time with. Yes, that night, Auguste gis Danielle,
Speaker 1: who we must remember is eight a copy of Thomas
Speaker 1: Moore's Utopia.
Speaker 2: You know what they did make children's books back then.
Speaker 2: Your brothers don't come around for another two hundred years.
Speaker 1: She tells him that she likes her proper new step
Speaker 1: family very much, and he's glad because he tells her
Speaker 1: he'll have to leave again soon for Avignon, and Danielle
Speaker 1: is dismayed, and she says, no, you can't go, Papa,
Speaker 1: and he says, oh I must, Danielle, And they start
Speaker 1: bargaining over how long he's going to be gone. Three weeks,
Speaker 1: one week, two weeks, and they find we finally, Erica
Speaker 1: have a film that has the courage of its convictions
Speaker 1: to show how popular of a game rock paper Scissors
Speaker 1: was in Renaissance France.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was all the rage, all the rage. There's
Speaker 2: a very cute line here where she says she's the
Speaker 2: kidda plays little Danielle is so good. It's so cute,
Speaker 2: and she goes, did you see the way they ate
Speaker 2: their supper? It was perfect, like a dance, like she's
Speaker 2: just like a chanted by her, like very proper, very
Speaker 2: like beautiful stepsisters at first, which is so sweet. It
Speaker 2: all comes from such a sweet place.
Speaker 1: So they rock paper scissors and a Goost loses, which
Speaker 1: means he can only go to Avignon for a week.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's how business works.
Speaker 2: But whatever, true, whatever business he's doing, he's got to
Speaker 2: get home. Honestly, I'm surprised he's leaving that fast. You
Speaker 2: just got married rod Milla must be a bitch, yeah,
Speaker 2: must be Like, listen, I already got to get away
Speaker 2: for a week. This has been a lot.
Speaker 1: But don't you think does the movie at times posit
Speaker 1: that rod Milla is the Baroness is genuinely in love.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so this is true. I don't want to
Speaker 2: like throw people off the scent because actually what this
Speaker 2: movie does, which is beautiful, is I think he genuinely
Speaker 2: loves rod Milla. Rod Milla loves him back, but also
Speaker 2: she's jealous because he loves his daughter more. And it's
Speaker 2: very clear like if he had to make a choice
Speaker 2: between the two, he would always pick his little girl
Speaker 2: over his new wife. So we cut to the day
Speaker 2: of August's departure.
Speaker 1: But oh, oh, oh, Paul, oh.
Speaker 2: Oh, Chekhof's grasping of the left arm happens.
Speaker 1: Oh no, not the left.
Speaker 2: Arm gets on his horse. He's like, oh, my left
Speaker 2: arm hurts. I hope that's not a portent of something worse. Anyway,
Speaker 2: moving on, he gets on his horse, he shakes off
Speaker 2: the impending doom, he heads out, and the Baroness starts
Speaker 2: to usher her daughter's back inside right away for the lessons.
Speaker 2: Come on, ladies, you must take your dancing lessons. And
Speaker 2: Danielle says, no, wait, it's tradition, and she runs to
Speaker 2: watch her father wave at the gate. Oh he always
Speaker 2: waves at the gate before he leaves. Rod Milla just
Speaker 2: rolls her eyes and continues back inside the house. She's like, no,
Speaker 2: you do that. Unfortunately, this means that Danielle is the
Speaker 2: only one to witness him clutching his arm again halfway
Speaker 2: down the drive and fall off his horse. Yeah, in distress.
Speaker 2: I am laughing, but it's actually quite sad.
Speaker 1: It's very sad.
Speaker 2: The movie does a beautiful job of making it very
Speaker 2: very sweet and sad. Danielle and the Baroness rush to
Speaker 2: a goose uh, but the Baroness is completely overcome. She's like,
Speaker 2: you cannot leave me here. You cannot leave me here
Speaker 2: by myself. Like basically, she's like, I'm willing to move
Speaker 2: to the shitty countryside manor with you only because I
Speaker 2: love you, and within a day you fucking die.
Speaker 1: So question question proposal Erica is the Baroness rod Milled
Speaker 1: agent simply deli adits with fewer options.
Speaker 2: Whoo, look, I think deliadids would have been less cruel
Speaker 2: than this. Sure she would have found a way to
Speaker 2: make it art.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Through her sculpture.
Speaker 2: Yes, she would have turned that castle into the weirdest
Speaker 2: fucking Soho gallery that ever existed outside of Soho. It
Speaker 2: would have She would have hired performance orrys, she would
Speaker 2: have hired acrobats. It would have been a whole thing,
Speaker 2: the whole thing, the whole the whole neighborhood would be like,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she's doing She's doing another one of
Speaker 2: her like living art pieces. Can you imagine the last
Speaker 2: one took thirteen hours. I can't I can't watch any
Speaker 2: more of these. So and daniel and the Baroness both
Speaker 2: rush to tell him that they love him and please
Speaker 2: don't leave, Please don't leave, and August unfortunately, he hugs
Speaker 2: he holds the Baroness's hand for a second and then
Speaker 2: immediately drops her hand to give his hand to Danielle.
Speaker 2: And the last thing he ever says is he looks
Speaker 2: right at his daughter's face and he says I love
Speaker 2: you to his daughter, which the wife does not appreciate.
Speaker 1: And it's so good because Angelica Houston doesn't overplay it.
Speaker 1: You just see, like the hatred, calcify in her and heartbreak,
Speaker 1: the heartbreak, but also like, oh it's your fault.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We cut to ten years into the future and to
Speaker 1: the French palace, where King Francis and Queen Marie are
Speaker 1: squabbling over their son's refusal to marry his arranged bride,
Speaker 1: the Princess of Spain. The king is concerned about politics,
Speaker 1: the queen is concerned Erica about love. She wants her
Speaker 1: son to be in love, which famously what royals of
Speaker 1: that period cared about. No, they wanted their children to
Speaker 1: marry their second cousin and show up.
Speaker 2: You are marrying the efanta because we need a fucking army.
Speaker 2: You shut up, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We cut to their son, Henry Dougray.
Speaker 2: Scott Gray, doing a very very good English accent, said
Speaker 2: yeah he.
Speaker 1: Is, he is, as he climbs out his window on
Speaker 1: his bed sheets and flees the castle.
Speaker 2: We've talked about this before, we really have, but I
Speaker 2: have to mention it again. He is thirty five.
Speaker 1: If he is a minute, I see, is so old.
Speaker 2: He's way too old to be to be like escaping
Speaker 2: out of his window through his sheets. He ties up
Speaker 2: his bed sheets and escapes out the window that way,
Speaker 2: and as soon as you see the man's face, you're like,
Speaker 2: wait what, no, bitch, just walk out. You're an adult.
Speaker 2: You can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: To be clear, very attractive, so hot, just simply not eighteen.
Speaker 2: Just way too old to be doing this bullshit. Back
Speaker 2: at the Barbaraka State Danielle played now by adult Drew Berrymore,
Speaker 2: she sleeps by the fire with her copy of Utopia
Speaker 2: to her chest. Her father's the last thing her father
Speaker 2: ever gave her. It now looks warn as though she's
Speaker 2: read it a thousand times. She wakes and heads out
Speaker 2: to do her chores. As she starts to pick apples outside,
Speaker 2: we see a guardsman ride by, because we know that
Speaker 2: they're in pursuit of the prince. So she sees a
Speaker 2: royal guardsman. What's going on? And then she turns a
Speaker 2: corner and she sees a man in a purple velvet
Speaker 2: cloak that's kind of important, like I'm gonna let it go,
Speaker 2: stealing one of her family's horses. And she's like, ahh,
Speaker 2: not on my watch, motherfucker. She takes an apple. She
Speaker 2: fucking Eli Manning's one right at the back of his
Speaker 2: head in an apple and like scores a touchdown on
Speaker 2: his head. It is perfect. He falls off his horse
Speaker 2: because she's that strong. He shows his face to her
Speaker 2: and she sees like a royal crest because he accidentally
Speaker 2: throws off his cloak because he's like, what the fuck
Speaker 2: just happened? Yeah, beat me in the back of the
Speaker 2: head with an apple. As she realizes he's the prince,
Speaker 2: and she goes, oh my god, I'm so sorry, and
Speaker 2: she like kneels down really quickly faces the ground. He
Speaker 2: doesn't really ever get a chance to see her face.
Speaker 2: He just knows that he's been deeply concussed by a
Speaker 2: girl in a field.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So she's like, I'm so sorry, your prince. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I understand now that that for what I've done, I
Speaker 2: have to die. And he goes, oh, right, guess what,
Speaker 2: you're lucky day. If you don't tell anyone about this,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna let it slide, so don't worry about it.
Speaker 2: And then he hands her twenty gold coins and he's like,
Speaker 2: here's your here's you know, here's money for your silence.
Speaker 2: And then he just he continues to steal the horse.
Speaker 2: He takes the horse and rides off with it.
Speaker 1: There is a line in the scene, I already know
Speaker 1: what lie you're going for it. I'm thrilled you're bringing
Speaker 1: it up.
Speaker 2: He just looks off into the middle distance, all tortured poet,
Speaker 2: and he goes, my only wish is to be freed
Speaker 2: from my guilded cage. A do Gray Scott's eternal credit.
Speaker 2: It actually kind of works. Yeah, is hard writing. It
Speaker 2: may not be bad writing, but it is so hard
Speaker 2: to get an actor to say that with a fucking
Speaker 2: straight face, and that looks like the biggest douchebag on
Speaker 2: of the planet.
Speaker 1: To try to build immediate sympathy for the Prince of
Speaker 1: France when you're also being presented with a great deal
Speaker 1: of the peasantry of France, it's very hard.
Speaker 2: Very hard. It walks a fine line.
Speaker 1: We cut back to the estate where the Baroness rod
Speaker 1: Milla de Ghent is having breakfast with her daughters, Marguerite
Speaker 1: now played by Megan Dodds and Jacqueline, now played by
Speaker 1: the great Melanie Lynsky. Yep, her obvious preference for Marguerite
Speaker 1: is playing with every single exchange, because this is a
Speaker 1: movie that posits that Megan Dodds is gorgeous, classically stereotypically beautiful, thin, blonde,
Speaker 1: blue eyed everything. And Melanie Lynsky is a big fat cat.
Speaker 2: There is a lot of fat jokes here, not a lot.
Speaker 2: There's a few fat jokes at the end. To be clear,
Speaker 2: it's all just the mother to the daughter.
Speaker 1: Yay.
Speaker 2: It's not like the rest of the world. The rest
Speaker 2: of the world sees a sees melon. See what we see.
Speaker 2: But the mom is like chubbs.
Speaker 1: The mom was like, it's just recall your like thunder thighs.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, the woman is a size eight maybe,
Speaker 1: Oh God, So she is planning to marry Marguerite to
Speaker 1: the prince betrothal to the Spanish princess. Be damned, I
Speaker 1: have plans. That's right. We're singing the praises of Angelica
Speaker 1: Houston and Melanielinsky. I want to take a moment to
Speaker 1: honor the great Megan Dodds. Yes, this is a Regina
Speaker 1: George level performance. This is someone who's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: the villain, and I'm the villain without depth because as
Speaker 1: we talked about, like the Baroness has like a soisson
Speaker 1: of depth in this telling, unlike other tellings. Marguerite is
Speaker 1: the ogre, she is the bridge troll, and Megan Dodds says, okay,
Speaker 1: I understand the assignment. I will be the worst person
Speaker 1: ever and she does it.
Speaker 2: Ah. Danielle returns home and excitedly shows her servant friends
Speaker 2: Louise Paulette, one of whom is a Landsbury Paulette Landsbury,
Speaker 2: the twenty gold coins that she made, and she promises
Speaker 2: to use it to get Louise's husband Maurice back, right,
Speaker 2: and we're like, this is our first, this is our
Speaker 2: first like taste of like, oh fuck, medieval times was rough.
Speaker 2: It turns out that the baroness sold you heard me,
Speaker 2: sold Maurice to get her taxes, her back taxes paid.
Speaker 2: And Danielle has to hurry because Maurice has been sold
Speaker 2: to quote to Cardier, which it's a real person, and
Speaker 2: so she sold him to this this man and his
Speaker 2: suede bound for the America. Maurice, by the way, and
Speaker 2: Louise are in their conservatively in their one hundred and.
Speaker 1: Thirties, something about no one ever lived that long in
Speaker 1: the French Renaissance except these two.
Speaker 2: What's funny as they're probably in the French Renaissance, they're
Speaker 2: like forty two, because that's what they looked like what
Speaker 2: Explorer bought. Maurice is bringing. He dies day one.
Speaker 1: Of the voyage.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you're zero chance he makes it to the Americas.
Speaker 1: So this is also the first seating. And this is
Speaker 1: kind of a plot that runs throughout the movie that
Speaker 1: the servants keep going to the Baroness and being like, oh,
Speaker 1: the gilded mirror is gone. She's like, well, I'll garnish
Speaker 1: your wages for it. So the Baroness is selling off
Speaker 1: things and people to pay the back taxes on the estate.
Speaker 1: So Danielle then rushes upstairs to serve the family breakfast.
Speaker 1: While Jacqueline at least makes an attempt to be polite,
Speaker 1: Marguerite is openly awful. Why don't you sleep at the
Speaker 1: pig cindersoot if you insist on smelling like one. It's like,
Speaker 1: she handles your food. She handles your food. Be careful.
Speaker 1: The Baroness meanwhile, plays a far more psychologically damaging game
Speaker 1: of criticizing than undercutting Danielle in the form of maternal advice,
Speaker 1: and then takes offense that her efforts are at being
Speaker 1: maternal are not more appreciated. So she's really like destroying
Speaker 1: this girl's ego step at a time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we cut back to Henry, teenage Henry on.
Speaker 1: His flight, youthful Henry.
Speaker 2: Youthful Henry as he comes across a group of highwaymen
Speaker 2: pillaging a small caravan.
Speaker 1: Right, I'll tell you a true story. Yes, I could
Speaker 1: not come up with the word highwayman in my head.
Speaker 1: I couldn't figure it out. And I briefly had the
Speaker 1: word road pirate in this recap, and then I finally
Speaker 1: like went online. It was like literally typed in road
Speaker 1: pirate and highway I was like, highway man, that's the word.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for, road pirate.
Speaker 2: So Henry's attacked by road pirates.
Speaker 1: Bye bye, bye bye Turnpike marauders.
Speaker 2: By the Interstate black Bears exactly. An old man in
Speaker 2: the caravan begs Henry for help, Sir, sir, they're stealing
Speaker 2: my great work.
Speaker 5: I need it.
Speaker 2: I needed it's she's my life. The noble prince simply
Speaker 2: cannot refuse the help of an old man, and he
Speaker 2: takes off after one particular like Marauder and the painting
Speaker 2: that he stole. He brings the painting back in surprise.
Speaker 2: The old man is Leonardo da Vinci played by Patrick
Speaker 2: Godfrey with a solid British accent. For some inexplicable reason,
Speaker 2: Signor Leonardo, how are you today? I want good? How
Speaker 2: are you.
Speaker 1: Again? Should be played by Adele.
Speaker 2: Can I have to say place? Let's watch he send?
Speaker 2: Does shall we? Why?
Speaker 1: Why is he English?
Speaker 2: It doesn't make any sense, Paul, Would you believe it?
Speaker 2: Would you believe it? The painting the Prince rescues is
Speaker 2: none other than the Mona Lisa. Unfortunately, Henry's noble act
Speaker 2: is given the Royal Guard, led by his friend Laurent.
Speaker 1: Yeah he's like the Royal Guard captain, but he seems
Speaker 1: to be the buds. Yeah you know what I'm fine with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he need Laura should be a friend and just
Speaker 2: be like, listen, calm down.
Speaker 1: You are forty years old, you have ten good years
Speaker 1: left and you were in fifteen hundreds France. If you
Speaker 1: haven't found your passion yet, maybe just try to be
Speaker 1: a decent human being.
Speaker 2: As prince father, a fucking next king and die. That's
Speaker 2: all you need to do.
Speaker 1: So you need to do.
Speaker 2: That's all that needs to happen here. So the Royal
Speaker 2: Guard has caught up with him and he is brought
Speaker 2: back to the castle now with da Vinci in toad,
Speaker 2: because DaVinci was actually summoned there by the King of France,
Speaker 2: so it's perfect. He's leading Leonardo da Vinci back to
Speaker 2: the castle. Henry is hopeful that da Vinci will be
Speaker 2: able to convince his father that an arranged marriage is
Speaker 2: simply not with the times. Can you get him back
Speaker 2: up to the fifteen hundreds please?
Speaker 1: One of my favorite things is his annoyance at the
Speaker 1: persistence of the royal guard, and it's like, you are
Speaker 1: the crown Prince of France and you do not appear
Speaker 1: to have any siblings. If they come back without you,
Speaker 1: they get deotined, like they have to come back with you.
Speaker 1: That is not an option for them.
Speaker 2: Is there perhaps a in the iron mask we can get? Yeah,
Speaker 2: another prince in the background, like like just in an
Speaker 2: iron masks, like like hoeings, some hoeing, some what I
Speaker 2: don't know what moing is.
Speaker 1: Garden.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, in the garden. It's like, I can I
Speaker 2: give you the prince.
Speaker 1: I'm royal, I can do it.
Speaker 2: Remember me the other prince?
Speaker 1: Yeah. Back at the de Barbaraka state, did you notice
Speaker 1: too that when Drew Barrymore says her name Danielle de Barbara.
Speaker 1: She does it with a little bit of a French accent,
Speaker 1: and the French accent is actually decent.
Speaker 2: Paul, Can I tell you that when she says Nicole
Speaker 2: de l'ancre with a perfect French accent, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: you guy, you guy.
Speaker 1: Her French accent is like, significantly better than the British accent.
Speaker 1: What are we doing? All right? So we're back at
Speaker 1: the estate. Danielle is planning on heading to court in
Speaker 1: the guise of a courtier to pay off Maurice's debts
Speaker 1: and get him back. Gustave, her gay best friend, like
Speaker 1: any good gay best friend, is like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: What? What are you doing? And Danielle insists, my plan
Speaker 1: is the only way otherwise Maurice is. Maurice's gonna be
Speaker 1: dead in a week. He's gonna get on that ship
Speaker 1: and just die immediately. He's gonna stub his toe and die.
Speaker 2: He's gonna take one sip of bad water and just
Speaker 2: keel over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she puts on this dress. They don't really explain
Speaker 1: where the dress came from, but I guess it could
Speaker 1: just be hers. I mean, she she did come from money,
Speaker 1: so it could just be her dress or her mother's.
Speaker 2: I would assume she stole it from the from.
Speaker 1: The baroness possibly as well. She steps out from behind
Speaker 1: the dressing screen and she's worried that her shoes are
Speaker 1: too big, but Gustav is like, shoot, girl, your tits
Speaker 1: are out, don't worry about it. Only we're looking at
Speaker 1: your shoes. And then he actually says, we have to
Speaker 1: do something about that hair.
Speaker 2: This was the moment for me, Paul. Yeah, look, I
Speaker 2: saw this when I was a kid, and it really
Speaker 2: never occurred to me until this time watching Gustav is
Speaker 2: her gay best friend, until until I so I heard
Speaker 2: that line and I was like, oh.
Speaker 1: The writer knows. The writer knows that Gustav is her
Speaker 1: gay best friend.
Speaker 2: Because honestly, I actually had this note at the beginning
Speaker 2: when before this moment, I wrote down I love the
Speaker 2: gusta Off Danielle friendship. It's so nice to see a
Speaker 2: platonic male friendship. And I maintain that, like, you know, what,
Speaker 2: do whatever you want with this's not absolutely maybe he's not.
Speaker 2: Maybe he's just a really good friend, and like she's
Speaker 2: a really good friend to him, and that's all there.
Speaker 2: It is and there's it's a platonic male female relationship.
Speaker 2: I do love seeing those in film. Not to take
Speaker 2: away another gay icon from you, but in Mike head canon,
Speaker 2: Gustav is straight wow wow, straight ish? I don't know.
Speaker 2: He does like to do her hair and he does talk.
Speaker 1: Nothing you like more than taking from the homosexuals I do?
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 2: You know what? Da Vinci is straight too fun. I'm
Speaker 2: taking him back.
Speaker 1: To you're a You're a You're a street thief on
Speaker 1: the pathway of homosexual culture.
Speaker 2: I am a road pirate, a road pirate queer culture. Well,
Speaker 2: Danielle heads off to court. Henry stops by the estate
Speaker 2: to return the horse that he took in his flight.
Speaker 2: The Baroness runs downstairs and he's like, oh, Prince, what
Speaker 2: are you doing here? And she's obsequious. She presents her
Speaker 2: daughter's Marguerite Francois Luise of the House of Gitts and Jacqueline.
Speaker 2: So Henry apologizes for scaring the shit out of a
Speaker 2: servant girl that he encountered earlier, and Baroness is like,
Speaker 2: who knows what?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, who know what happened? What?
Speaker 2: And He's like, yeah, I scared the hell out of
Speaker 2: a servant girl who hit me in the back of
Speaker 2: the head with an apple. She had a really good
Speaker 2: way actually, anyway, gotta go shut up.
Speaker 1: We cut to Danielle running to the palace. She's barely
Speaker 1: in time to stop the jailer carting Maurice away. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: the jailer is uninterested in her pleas to free Maurice,
Speaker 1: and it isn't until Prince Henry rides up. He's everywhere
Speaker 1: these days. So Henry rides up, and he intervenes, and
Speaker 1: the jailer stops as soon as sees the Prince. Danielle,
Speaker 1: who Henry does not recognize because remember she kind of
Speaker 1: bowed her head immediately, so you didn't get a good
Speaker 1: look at her, manages to sway the prince with a
Speaker 1: quote from Utopia and orders Maurice free as da Vinci
Speaker 1: looks on, also impressed with Danielle, so then she takes
Speaker 1: the twenty gold franks that the Prince gave her, gives
Speaker 1: them to the jailer, and frees Maurice.
Speaker 2: Danielle thanks Henry and excuses herself, but he follows. He's like, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 2: who are you before any woman who can quote Thomas
Speaker 2: Moore is worth the time, right. She claims to be
Speaker 2: a cousin visiting from out of town. She's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm visiting a cousin. He's like, which cousin? My cousin?
Speaker 1: Who's on first?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like, basically, she's doing everything she can to like
Speaker 2: dodge and weave him. She's like, I gotta go, I
Speaker 2: gotta go. Once he mentions Thomas Moore, she becomes interested.
Speaker 2: She turns around and she's like, the Prince has read Utopia?
Speaker 2: How fascinating. And then he's like, I found it dull
Speaker 2: and insipid. And she's like, oh, so you're an asshole,
Speaker 2: you got it, and she continues to walk away. He's like, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 2: whoa are you suggesting that you find me arrogant? And
Speaker 2: she goes, well, you freed one man today, but did
Speaker 2: you even look at the ten others who are about
Speaker 2: to be shipped off to their deaths?
Speaker 1: Fair point.
Speaker 2: That is incredible they put that in this movie. And
Speaker 2: then the Prince really does have a moment of oh fuck,
Speaker 2: I didn't like, I didn't look at any man like
Speaker 2: that's about to be shipped off to certain death. Basically,
Speaker 2: who was sold by someone? They did not have to
Speaker 2: put that in this movie, and they did.
Speaker 1: The movie gives the Prince an arc.
Speaker 2: But it also gives the era context, like we have
Speaker 2: romanticized these like ancient stories, these beautiful romantic Renaissance stories,
Speaker 2: but people were literally like chattel back then. Danielle scolds him.
Speaker 2: She continues to scold him because he's he shut her up.
Speaker 2: She shut him up with that, like you're gonna let
Speaker 2: those other ten men die for no reason. And she's like,
Speaker 2: you don't respect your subjects upon which your kingdom is built.
Speaker 2: They are they they are the legs on which we
Speaker 2: all stand, and you don't know them, you don't care
Speaker 2: about them, you never speak to them. And he said, well, naturally,
Speaker 2: why would I speak to us to a peasant? And
Speaker 2: she's like, there's nothing natural about it. Everything about this
Speaker 2: is wrong, about this whole system of government is wrong.
Speaker 2: She's calling that to the Prince, and he is so
Speaker 2: stunned and kind of aroused that he's like, please, please
Speaker 2: just tell me you're I need to know your name.
Speaker 2: And she tells him that her name is in such
Speaker 2: a perfect an accent that I cannot do, but I
Speaker 2: will attempt the comtesse Nicole de l'ancre, which was the
Speaker 2: actual name of her mother. Her mother was not a
Speaker 2: comtest though her mother was just Nicol delan cree.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you. It took me almost the whole
Speaker 1: movie because I was like, wait, if her mother was
Speaker 1: a comtest, because the comtest is actually higher in the nobility.
Speaker 1: Because I looked this up, because I got so confused.
Speaker 1: Is a higher nobility than a baroness?
Speaker 5: Huh?
Speaker 1: So I'm like what And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just the name she added the It took me
Speaker 1: an embarrassingly long time to put that together.
Speaker 2: I think maybe the first time I saw this movie, though,
Speaker 2: I had the same reaction. Yeah, I was like, now,
Speaker 2: to be fair to to me, I was a child
Speaker 2: and you were an adult.
Speaker 1: But it must be pointed out I have twenty years
Speaker 1: on you.
Speaker 2: But no, I actually think I had the same thought
Speaker 2: where I was like, wait, she's she's she is wait
Speaker 2: why is she putting up she's also royalty? Yeah, so
Speaker 2: the queen away. So she goes Henry like a normal
Speaker 2: queen does with her son. Yeah, and he gets distracted
Speaker 2: and Danielle takes the opportunity to flee.
Speaker 1: So Henry goes to meet with his father, and the
Speaker 1: king says that he's confined to the palace grounds to
Speaker 1: protect the treaty with Spain. We cannot possibly overstate the
Speaker 1: importance of the Treaty with Spain in the first hour
Speaker 1: of this movie and the complete lack of importance of
Speaker 1: it in the second hour.
Speaker 2: Look, Paul France needs Spain to survive. England is hounding them.
Speaker 2: We're in the middle, I think of one hundred years
Speaker 2: War at this point. She is going down. We need allies,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 1: So Henry insists it's his life, and the Queen chimes
Speaker 1: in and tells him you were born to privilege and
Speaker 1: with that comes specific obligations, which is a really interesting
Speaker 1: line because the Queen is saying that to talk about
Speaker 1: the arranged marriage with Spain, but it will kind of
Speaker 1: get twisted through the movie to be like, you were
Speaker 1: born to privilege and you are now you're obligated to
Speaker 1: take care of those less fortunate than you, which is
Speaker 1: a pretty high level message for this movie to undertake.
Speaker 2: This That's what I got from watching this yesterday. I remembered.
Speaker 2: I can't tell you enough how I remembered. This is
Speaker 2: a terrible movie. And I was like, this is gonna
Speaker 2: be bad, and then I watched it and I was like, actually, no,
Speaker 2: this movie is.
Speaker 1: Kind kind of great.
Speaker 2: It has a really beautiful point that it makes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. The King snaps that Henry will marry
Speaker 1: the Spanish princess or he will deny him the crown
Speaker 1: and live forever. The King and the Queen, I don't
Speaker 1: put too much of them in the in the recap,
Speaker 1: but they're really fun and they're funny. They're played by
Speaker 1: like two good, like British character actors, and they're they're
Speaker 1: really a good time.
Speaker 2: Danielle arrives back at the estate with Maurice and there
Speaker 2: is much rejoicing. There's a very sweet scene where Maurice
Speaker 2: gets reunited with his thousand year old wife. The two
Speaker 2: of them clutch bones, and then Paulette joins the group
Speaker 2: hug and then Danielle joins the group hug and it's like,
Speaker 2: my fan, her actual family is back together again. She
Speaker 2: finds the Baroness in a towering rage though over Danielle
Speaker 2: failing to tell her about encountering Henry that morning. Danielle
Speaker 2: tells her almost nothing. She does a very good job
Speaker 2: of playing dumb. The Baroness is just simply too thrilled
Speaker 2: at her belief that Marguerite had a moment with Henry
Speaker 2: to notice that Danielle is lying to her, and she's like, oh, whatever,
Speaker 2: you stupid girl. Don't worry about it. You don't know
Speaker 2: what to do with royalty, my Marguerite does.
Speaker 1: We cut back to Henry, still glowing with youth. He's
Speaker 1: walking with the Queen.
Speaker 2: Can we cut back to Henry Crow's feet glistening in
Speaker 2: the sun, the.
Speaker 1: Yellowing of his skin barely visible under the cakedn makeup.
Speaker 1: So mean, he's so hot, you guys.
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm worried you Gray Scott's going to hear
Speaker 2: this and not fuck me. So just would would would.
Speaker 1: Would would happily you were just too old for this.
Speaker 1: But I'm still glad you're in it. But I am
Speaker 1: going to tease you about it. So Henry asks the
Speaker 1: Queen if she knows the comtest Nicole, and the Queen
Speaker 1: says she doesn't, And then the King walks up and
Speaker 1: says he's thought of a compromise. He's throwing a ball.
Speaker 1: In five days to celebrate Da Vinci's arrival, Henry is
Speaker 1: required to announce his choice of bride at midnight on
Speaker 1: that day. If he has no choice, the King will
Speaker 1: choose for him.
Speaker 2: The Baroness is thrilled to receive the news of it.
Speaker 2: An invitation to the ball from the Royal Page played
Speaker 2: by Toby Jones. There's this like little thing where she
Speaker 2: flirts with him and she gives him that she gives
Speaker 2: him the like like she gives him hope that one
Speaker 2: day she will have sex with him, which she absolutely
Speaker 2: never ever, ever, ever ever will, But she's like using
Speaker 2: him for as her mole inside the inside the palace.
Speaker 1: Right, Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Is Toby Jones dressed like a playing card?
Speaker 2: He is dressing exactly like one of the Queen's like
Speaker 2: men from.
Speaker 1: Allis in Wonderland, right, Yeah, Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is, it is. He looks straight out of
Speaker 2: the Alice in Wonderland.
Speaker 1: Cartoons, and nobody else does everyone else's costumes. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they're historically accurate, but they're.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know, because I feel like that royal
Speaker 2: guardsman that he's friends with, that's true fits with him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, n also looks.
Speaker 2: Like he walked right off of that cartoon and into
Speaker 2: this movie.
Speaker 1: You're right, You are right. That guy also matches that.
Speaker 2: So the Baroness pays the royal page off to tell
Speaker 2: her everything he knows about the prince, and he eagerly
Speaker 2: tells you that Henry will be playing tennis the following day.
Speaker 1: All right, So the Baroness starts planning Marguerite's outfit for
Speaker 1: the tennis match, and she remembers that Danielle's mother had
Speaker 1: some nice things which are now meant to be Danielle's dowry.
Speaker 1: Jacqueline protests that Danielle's things should be left for Danielle
Speaker 1: to wear to the ball, but the Baroness and Marguerite
Speaker 1: are delighted at the finery and at the still ugly shoes.
Speaker 1: So now we are looking at the ultimate glass slippers
Speaker 1: that we saw in the beginning of the film with
Speaker 1: the Grand Dame, and the dress that she will ultimately wear.
Speaker 2: The dress is beautiful.
Speaker 1: The dress is beautiful. Yeah, give that. Danielle enters to
Speaker 1: find her step family cooing over her things, and Marguerite
Speaker 1: and Rod Miller quickly cover by saying they were only
Speaker 1: airing the things out for Danielle to wear, provided she
Speaker 1: gets her choice done in time for the ball. Of
Speaker 1: course she's going to go, and sweet stupid Danielle buys it,
Speaker 1: and Jacqueline is so disgusted she like walks out and
Speaker 1: she like huffs, and Danielle's like, what's the matter with her?
Speaker 1: And Marguerite goes she doesn't want you to go.
Speaker 2: To the movie's credit, Danielle does look like confused by that.
Speaker 2: She's not hurt. She's like, but that's not like her,
Speaker 2: that's like you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's happening. What's happening? Did you switch places?
Speaker 2: Is there a Freaky Friday happening?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We cut to Henry and Leonardo Signor. Leonardo's like, all right,
Speaker 2: now we're best friends, you and me. Mister Prince, he's
Speaker 2: getting worse and more and more cock me as I
Speaker 2: go on.
Speaker 1: He's inches from Eliza Dulittle's father.
Speaker 2: At this point, they're philosophizing over the count of soulmates,
Speaker 2: because again, the Prince is sixteen, and that's the kind
Speaker 2: of thing you think about when you're sixteen. Well, Da
Speaker 2: Vinci tries out his water walking shoes. This is super cool. Actually,
Speaker 2: I do love that. I do love when they pull
Speaker 2: out little real like Da vinciisms in the film and
Speaker 2: put them in. At the same time, Danielle is going
Speaker 2: truffle hunting with her truffle pig, because of course why not.
Speaker 2: She sees how gross she is, how dirty her hands are.
Speaker 2: She decides to take a swim to get some of
Speaker 2: the dirt out from her body. So we cut to
Speaker 2: her floating. She's wearing she didn't get naked, she's wearing
Speaker 2: her like undergarments. But she's like floating in the pond,
Speaker 2: cheerfully looking up at the sky, just having a blissful
Speaker 2: moment of peace. And then she sees old man da
Speaker 2: Vinci hovering over her all of a sudden because he's walking.
Speaker 2: He's literally walking on water with his little boat shoes,
Speaker 2: and he goes, lovely day for a swim, visit it
Speaker 2: and she goes, ah, he slips over and they both
Speaker 2: fall into the water. The two of them go make
Speaker 2: it back to the shore. Henry recognizes Danielle this time
Speaker 2: and he goes, it's you, and she goes, oh, hi,
Speaker 2: it's me. It's me again. They start to flirt spar
Speaker 2: again until she hears Jacqueline calling out for Danielle, and
Speaker 2: she goes, well, gotta go, and she runs off as
Speaker 2: Henry shouts an invitation to the tennis match. That is
Speaker 2: a red flag right there. If a man's like, I'm
Speaker 2: playing a sport. Do you want to come watch?
Speaker 6: You?
Speaker 1: Come watch me? Place? No nos? Yeah. At the estate,
Speaker 1: Danielle learns from Jacqueline that the Prince has freed all
Speaker 1: the men sent to America and decreed that everyone who
Speaker 1: sales must be compensated. Okay, so we're seeing progress in
Speaker 1: the prince here. Yeah, welcome to the resistance, Prince Henry.
Speaker 1: The Baroness is uninterested in Henry's newfound love of his
Speaker 1: fellow man and more focused on this comtesse that has
Speaker 1: entered the picture. She needs to needs to get some
Speaker 1: information so she can pull this woman down that's captured
Speaker 1: the Prince's imagination. We cut to the tennis match, which
Speaker 1: now earlier in the film, these must have been featured.
Speaker 1: But was this the moment the film that you went
Speaker 1: codpeaced piece?
Speaker 2: But it's funny. The codpiece was there the entire time.
Speaker 2: There have always been codpieces, but these tennis cod pieces
Speaker 2: are hilarious.
Speaker 1: They look like they have two or three tennis ball
Speaker 1: stuffed in them, like they are ample, you know.
Speaker 2: How like tennis players sometimes put tennis balls like in
Speaker 2: their shorts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's must see.
Speaker 2: What's happening there, right, is they have just tennis balls
Speaker 2: shoved in those codpieces.
Speaker 1: Because it's they're very they're very jutting out.
Speaker 2: I think the costume designer did a really decent job
Speaker 2: in this movie of making it like feel somewhat contemporary,
Speaker 2: but like everything is technically correct. This has had to
Speaker 2: be what they would have played tennis.
Speaker 1: I guess absurd. They're absurd. It's just like my eye.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even trying to be gross, but my eye
Speaker 1: was just drawn immediately to their crotches.
Speaker 2: IM possible not to well, I think that's also part
Speaker 2: of it. He's like, come watch me play tennis.
Speaker 1: He's literally peacocking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, look at my giant, enormous codpiece. And he
Speaker 2: and the other guy playing are both are all wearing
Speaker 2: are wearing all white. They're wearing less clothes than they
Speaker 2: normally do, so this is their sporting looks. Although they
Speaker 2: are wearing four layers of clothes each.
Speaker 1: They're showing a flash of ankle.
Speaker 2: Prefer yeah basically, and then enormous fucking piece.
Speaker 1: It is excellent that they're playing this tennis. It's kind
Speaker 1: of a hybrid between tennis as we know it and
Speaker 1: also handball, because sometimes they hit it against the will.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's historically accurate, historically accurate. Yeah, So the Prince
Speaker 1: makes a leap into the stands after a ball, gasp,
Speaker 1: the crowd can't believe it. He gets up, he starts
Speaker 1: pulling all the handkerchiefs that women shoved into his clothes out,
Speaker 1: and naturally, Marguerite has retrieved the ball and uses this
Speaker 1: moment to flirt again with the Prince.
Speaker 2: Okay, we cut to the market. We meet the other
Speaker 2: villain of the film, Pierre Lapew. First of all, can
Speaker 2: I just give the writer, Yeah, well he name this
Speaker 2: character Pierre Lapeux. It's so perfect, it's so perfect.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: And Pierre Lapew listeners is played by the great Richard O'Brien,
Speaker 2: and the first like, as soon as you hear his voice,
Speaker 2: you're like refrash. Yeah, it's excellent. He is so so
Speaker 2: good in this movie. Absolutely no notes. Paul writes here,
Speaker 2: and he's not wrong. A scaley wag, a scally wag.
Speaker 2: He approaches Danielle. He is a merchant who has had
Speaker 2: his eye on her for a while, even though he's
Speaker 2: like twenty years older than her. He's like, I've admired
Speaker 2: you since you were a girl. I'm like ah. Danielle
Speaker 2: ignores his advances. She offers him some prunes, making a
Speaker 2: joke at his about his age. He refuses to buy anything,
Speaker 2: and then reminds her that his patronage is the key
Speaker 2: to keeping that family farm afloat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you don't know Richard O'Brien, you have to
Speaker 1: picture him as the person who you would hire if
Speaker 1: John Waters was too wholesome. Yeah, right, Like he's like
Speaker 1: John Waters with the volume turned up. So we cut
Speaker 1: to the estate that night and Danielle is stoking the
Speaker 1: baroness's fire while listening to her stepmother mused about Marguerite's
Speaker 1: chances with Henry. The subject of August comes up, and
Speaker 1: there's a moment of genuine connection when the baroness comments
Speaker 1: that Danielle looks like her father, But then she quick
Speaker 1: dismisses Danielle when she tries to strike up a conversation
Speaker 1: about him, like she says, you know, did you ever
Speaker 1: actually love him? And then she says, well, how could
Speaker 1: I barely knew him? Angelica Houston plays this so well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it almost catches her off guard that she's nice to
Speaker 1: Danielle for a second, she forgot to be horrible and
Speaker 1: then as soon as Danielle tries to reach back, she
Speaker 1: like smacks her hand away.
Speaker 2: Well, also, she makes she's so good. She makes it
Speaker 2: very clear, Yes she loved aug Oos, but she's not
Speaker 2: about to admit that to this girl. She's not about
Speaker 2: to have common ground with this, with this girl that
Speaker 2: she is now like relegated to a servant.
Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah, uh so, Erica. That's about halfway through the movie.
Speaker 1: So I think we're gonna take a short commercial break here.
Speaker 1: Stick around. You don't like these commercial breaks, go join
Speaker 1: the Patreon and we will be right back to finish
Speaker 1: out our talk on ever After ever After. I'm waiting
Speaker 1: for it, and we're back, Paul.
Speaker 2: Did you get the commercial for Pierre le Piuze cologne?
Speaker 1: Oh, they really are listening to us.
Speaker 2: The lapew from the cologne is called Scaliwag from the
Speaker 2: House of La Pew.
Speaker 1: It smells like fresh dirt and halatosis.
Speaker 2: It smells like sexual harassment and bad teeth. The other
Speaker 2: commercial I got was for twenty gold coins. Do you
Speaker 2: need to buy a servant gas. We suggest twenty gold coins.
Speaker 1: I got the I got the commercial for not the
Speaker 1: not Pepe Lapuse Fragance. I got it for for Marguerite
Speaker 1: against Fragrance. It's called Bitch.
Speaker 2: I also got a commercial for for Gustav's hair salon.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh good, but you can't get an appointment the.
Speaker 2: Gustav salon on Madison Avenue. The good luck getting in there, bitches.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The other one I got was for the Drew
Speaker 1: Barrymore class at the Learning Annex for a perfect French accent.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's her. That's her partnership with Duo Lingo.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, that's her. That's her side hustle. Right now,
Speaker 1: everyone's gotta have sid hustle Leven Drew Amore.
Speaker 2: The next day, Danielle is flying a kite, one of
Speaker 2: the kites that Senora da Vinci has given her, and
Speaker 2: Gustav paints a landscape and calls Danielle out on having
Speaker 2: feelings for the prince. She's like, ah ah, he's disgusting,
Speaker 2: and Gustav is like girl, girl, girl, okay, maybe he
Speaker 2: is gay. Men and women can be friends. When Harry
Speaker 2: met Sally is wrong. She actually insists that she'd be
Speaker 2: thrilled for the prince to marry Barguerite so that Marguerite
Speaker 2: and her mother would leave the estate and Danielle could
Speaker 2: get it back on its feet without having them there
Speaker 2: sucking it dry.
Speaker 1: The movie is also it does a pretty good job
Speaker 1: I think of seating that like a lot of Danielle
Speaker 1: doing these chores is something of her own choice. Obviously
Speaker 1: not to the extent that she is being forced into
Speaker 1: serve her to the baroness, but like she enjoys working
Speaker 1: the estate, I.
Speaker 2: Think so too. She's trying to keep it afloat, and like,
Speaker 2: if it's not Danielle, it's Paulette, who's middle aged, and
Speaker 2: the two servants who are a thousand years old. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I think part of the reason she makes them food
Speaker 2: and stuff, like her her stepsisters and her stepmother is
Speaker 2: because she's like trying to ease the burden of these
Speaker 2: other students. At that moment, of course, Henry rides up.
Speaker 2: He says he's looking for da Vinci because he sees
Speaker 2: Davinci's kite in the distance. Right Meanwhile, by the way,
Speaker 2: Danielle has seen the prince and is hiding behind.
Speaker 1: A haystack, A very convenient haystack appears.
Speaker 2: And then Henry asks Gustav about Danielle and or Nicole
Speaker 2: de Comtesse, and Gustaf playfully tells him that Comtess is
Speaker 2: staying with her cousin, the rod Milla de Ghent, and
Speaker 2: happens to be alone at the house at this very moment,
Speaker 2: wouldn't you know?
Speaker 1: Can you believe it?
Speaker 2: Can you believe it? The prince rides off towards the
Speaker 2: house and Danielle like, is what's wrong with you? You idiot?
Speaker 2: You told him I'm whole, I'm at home, and he's like, well,
Speaker 2: then you better run.
Speaker 1: Danielle flees back to the estate, somehow beating Henry there
Speaker 1: despite his being on horseback. I guess maybe she was
Speaker 1: able to take a shortcut through the woods or something
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, she's fast, yeap.
Speaker 2: Look she has the arm. She has the arm of
Speaker 2: Tom Brady and.
Speaker 1: The speed of Usain Bolt. She manages, with Paulte and
Speaker 1: Louise's help, some quick contest drag. Henry arrives and she
Speaker 1: answers the door, and he invites Danielle to join him
Speaker 1: on a trip to the monastery. What was dating in
Speaker 1: the fifteen hundred exprance. Can you imagine someone being like,
Speaker 1: I'd love to take you out some time. We can
Speaker 1: go to a monastery. Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes,
Speaker 1: Like he dismisses Laurent and his escort and the two
Speaker 1: head out alone. I don't think that's how that works.
Speaker 1: I don't think the prince, who is a known flight risk,
Speaker 1: being like I'm good here at all. The guards, who
Speaker 1: again are responsible to the Royal Palace for his safety,
Speaker 1: would be like, all right, go to the monastery.
Speaker 2: Also, what kind of comtesse is this who's just allowed
Speaker 2: to be off alone with men without a chaperon?
Speaker 1: Right? Or they go to the library. Danielle goes full
Speaker 1: bell from Beauty and the Beast about books. I mean,
Speaker 1: all of these princesses like books. I like books a lot.
Speaker 1: I like books a lot, But like one princess that's
Speaker 1: really into like car radiators.
Speaker 2: We gotta have just one who's not into books.
Speaker 1: One who loves crocodile wrestling like this game one of us, or.
Speaker 2: Just one who's like books are okay, but I'd rather
Speaker 2: be outside.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd rather climb a tree. So she and Henry
Speaker 1: continue to talk and flirt, and Henry is just absolutely
Speaker 1: like taken by her passion for books and her passion
Speaker 1: for life, and he can't believe how he's wasted his
Speaker 1: forty seven years on the planet.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, in town, Toby Jones hands the Baroness a necklace
Speaker 2: that he lifted from the queen with a plan for
Speaker 2: her to get ingratiate herself to the queen, and so
Speaker 2: the Baroness has Marguerite return it to the queen, directly
Speaker 2: impressing the queen with her honesty. He's like, why don't
Speaker 2: you come over the next day for tea and bring
Speaker 2: your mother with you? And I must simply get to
Speaker 2: know everything about this lovely girl who approached me. Marguerite
Speaker 2: plays it beautifully. She's like, oh, I'm too, too humbled,
Speaker 2: your majesty, like she's very good.
Speaker 1: On their way back to the estate, the cart carrying
Speaker 1: Henry and Danielle loses a wheel. His guard, who he
Speaker 1: dismissed in the previous scene as we talked about, is
Speaker 1: now there again. His guard is like, we'll head back
Speaker 1: to the monastery, and Danielle is like, we'll walk back,
Speaker 1: and the guard's like okay, and Henry's like, okay, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 2: She likes walking, Paul, She's not like other girls.
Speaker 1: But the guard wouldn't let That's the thing that's blowing
Speaker 1: my mind. Don't let the prince out of your sight.
Speaker 2: She has the arm of Patrick Mahomes, the legs of
Speaker 2: Jackie Joyner Cursey, and the walking feet of Cheryl Straight.
Speaker 1: The hiking abilities of a Himalayan Sherpa Ah.
Speaker 2: So obviously they immediately get lost in the woods. Danielle
Speaker 2: climbs a tree.
Speaker 1: Like, but I mean the highest tree, the redwood.
Speaker 2: We cut to the scene, right and.
Speaker 1: So hard.
Speaker 2: Henry is on the ground, and Henry's like, I can't
Speaker 2: believe I got lost in my own woods.
Speaker 1: What the fuck?
Speaker 2: And he's like, can I can't believe it?
Speaker 1: Almost like I have been responsible for any of my
Speaker 1: own well being for my entire life.
Speaker 2: My entire life. And he's like, and I can't believe.
Speaker 2: I let you climb to the up that tree in
Speaker 2: your undergarments. And then we cut to Danielle and guys,
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. She is two hundred feet up if
Speaker 2: she is a minute, she's on a skyscraper in the sky,
Speaker 2: and she's like, well, I couldn't very well climb up
Speaker 2: here with my dress on, could I? And she's like,
Speaker 2: I see the castle, it's over there. How did she
Speaker 2: get up so high? She has the climbing ability of
Speaker 2: a fucking Howler monkey. She is an X man. Why
Speaker 2: did she in this movie? She needs to be a
Speaker 2: professor X's house today.
Speaker 1: She's a mutant.
Speaker 2: So he's like, you climb trees, you read books, you
Speaker 2: talk like a person. Is there anything you can't do?
Speaker 2: And she goes, I can't fly. It's cheeseballd.
Speaker 1: But I know what.
Speaker 2: I'm into it. I'm into it.
Speaker 1: The movie has me enough now that I'm kind of
Speaker 1: with it. I kind of it.
Speaker 2: I don't even care that she says.
Speaker 3: It like this, I can't fly.
Speaker 1: That was almost too accurate.
Speaker 2: You like full Dick van Dyke. She cannot do the accent, okay.
Speaker 2: So the Prince is looking up at her adoringly, and
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden he hears and he looks
Speaker 2: back down and rote, row, there's a man there, and
Speaker 2: it's the same highwaymen from the from the beginning of the.
Speaker 1: Film, More Avenue Buccaneers.
Speaker 2: The Prince shouts at Danielle to stay up in the tree.
Speaker 2: There are games of foots, madam, and then the music
Speaker 2: gets all jaunty, and the Prince takes out his sword
Speaker 2: and a scabbard, and one of the highwaymen takes out
Speaker 2: a sword and they start to they start to fight.
Speaker 2: It's fun. It's like cavalier. Danielle, of course, doesn't do
Speaker 2: as she's told. She comes down from the tree, she
Speaker 2: gets captured by another one of the highwaymen. There's like
Speaker 2: ten of them. I don't know why Prince Henry thinks
Speaker 2: he can fight them all off.
Speaker 1: With the sword. Again, just had a bunch of people
Speaker 1: dropping their swords in front of him. Because he's the prince,
Speaker 1: does no idea what the real world is like.
Speaker 2: No, Henry says, let her go. Your quarrel is with me,
Speaker 2: and their leader agrees, and Danielle starts to get hoity
Speaker 2: toity with them. She says, because she's not a Wilton flower,
Speaker 2: this girl. She's like, I demand that you give me
Speaker 2: a horse since you're taking back, since you're stealing my
Speaker 2: escort from me. The leader likes her moxie. They start
Speaker 2: to laugh, but they also appreciate her, and they're like, Madam,
Speaker 2: I give you my word, you can take whatever you
Speaker 2: can carry. And she goes very well, still hoity toity,
Speaker 2: and she marches over to Henry. She takes one of
Speaker 2: his arms, she puts it over her shoulder. She lifts
Speaker 2: Henry up on her back, turns and nods to the highwayman,
Speaker 2: and then walks off with him. The highwayman leader bursts
Speaker 2: into laughter, and he's like, okay, okay, you can stay.
Speaker 2: You can have a horse. Now. She and the Prince
Speaker 2: have become friends with this band of highwaymen. Should we
Speaker 2: talk for a minute of what the movie calls them?
Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, the movie will repeatedly use the slur for
Speaker 1: the Romani people, the G slur.
Speaker 2: I'm just going to say it, Gypsy. I genuinely don't
Speaker 2: think anyone would get offended.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think so. It's talking about I think
Speaker 1: it's also it was very accepted back.
Speaker 2: Then, back in nineteen ninety eight, extremely accepted.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people wouldn't even consider it
Speaker 1: offensive today, or know that it was considered offensive.
Speaker 2: I actually know someone of this of this ethnic group,
Speaker 2: ethnic group. I actually don't know how to subscribe, right.
Speaker 2: She refers to herself as a Gypsy to this day
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four, so like twenty twenty five. So
Speaker 2: I think there's some people who would just do not
Speaker 2: find it terribly offensive. But anyway, the movie continuously refers
Speaker 2: to them as gypsies.
Speaker 1: All right, So he invites them to spend the night
Speaker 1: with his band, and we cut to them at the camp.
Speaker 1: Danielle and Henry are playing rock paper scissors, and Henry
Speaker 1: admits that he has no desire to be king. Honestly,
Speaker 1: the fact that Dougray Scott is able to like because
Speaker 1: my immediate reaction is like, have him clean his own
Speaker 1: chamber pot once and see how much he fucking likes
Speaker 1: being a prince? Like does he even realize that ten
Speaker 1: guardsmen have been executed for losing him? All right? So
Speaker 1: Danielle tells him he could do wonderful things as a king,
Speaker 1: and Henry is like, I want to be my own person,
Speaker 1: and Danielle echoes his mother's quote about being born into
Speaker 1: privilege and that comes with specific obligations, right, So now
Speaker 1: we're starting to twist this quote, and Henry tells her
Speaker 1: that he is hypnotized by her mouth again, every every
Speaker 1: kudo imaginable to do Gray for making that not creepy,
Speaker 1: because that should be creepy.
Speaker 2: He is really sexy in this scene, and you're right,
Speaker 2: because he goes from being a petulant asshole to like
Speaker 2: a creep monster. And yet somehow this fucking actor is
Speaker 2: making it all work. I did.
Speaker 1: He leans in for a kiss and to make out,
Speaker 1: and the road pirates all go like a bunch of teenagers.
Speaker 2: Lady and gentlemen are kissing. Henry drops Danielle off at
Speaker 2: the estate and insists that she call him Henry the
Speaker 2: whole time she's been calling him my lord. And he
Speaker 2: kisses her good night, and he asks her to meet
Speaker 2: him the next day, and she says she'll try. Henry
Speaker 2: rushes back to the palace, his parents dead asleep.
Speaker 1: Yes, they have not.
Speaker 2: Given a shit that he did not come home last night.
Speaker 2: He opens the curtains to their bedroom that they share,
Speaker 2: which no way, zero chance this couple shares a bed.
Speaker 2: He opens the canopy to their bed, and he announces
Speaker 2: to his sleeping parents that I want to build a
Speaker 2: university that all people could attend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, does that happen? In France? They're known for like
Speaker 1: helping their peasantry, right, they.
Speaker 2: Worked out beautifully? Yeah, absolutely beautifully, but he's like, I
Speaker 2: want to build a university that all people could join,
Speaker 2: and then and they're like, who the fuck are you what?
Speaker 2: Like Henry has now found purpose thanks to Danielle.
Speaker 1: The next morning, Danielle is asleep in bed and she
Speaker 1: decides to get sassy to the Barreness and her stepsisters.
Speaker 1: Poor choice, but she's eighteen. I get it, like, you
Speaker 1: put up with these women for a decade of them
Speaker 1: being horrible to you, and you you just made out
Speaker 1: with the prince all night and you don't want to
Speaker 1: deal with it anymore. The Baroness and Marguerite retaliate. She
Speaker 1: tells her that she won't be going to the ball
Speaker 1: and that Marguerite will be wearing her mother's clothing. So
Speaker 1: Danielle follows them in and she sees them trying on
Speaker 1: the clothes and she goes, those are my mother's and
Speaker 1: Marguerite sneers back, yes, and she's.
Speaker 2: Dead like caam genuinely like scar.
Speaker 1: Danielle punches her and grabs the shoes out of her
Speaker 1: hand and then chases her around the estate. Marguerite manages
Speaker 1: to get the hold of a copy of Utopia that
Speaker 1: Danielle's father gave her and demands the shoes or she says,
Speaker 1: I'll drop it in the fire. Danielle is torn. She
Speaker 1: doesn't know what to do. You know, my mother's things
Speaker 1: or my father's things. What can I save? The Baroness
Speaker 1: walks up and she demands the shoes. Danielle gives in.
Speaker 1: She hands them to her, and Marguerite drops the book
Speaker 1: in the fire anyway, and Danielle's weeps as Jacqueline gasps
Speaker 1: in horror at her mother and sister.
Speaker 2: Horrible, truly horrible.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We cut to a little bit later that day. Danielle
Speaker 2: not only has her book been burned and her dress
Speaker 2: been stolen in all of this nonsense, but she's been
Speaker 2: lashed for insubordination. She's on her bed and like Jacqueline
Speaker 2: is tending to her wounds, and like they really went
Speaker 2: to town on her. It sucks. We cut to the
Speaker 2: Baroness and Marguerite's audience with the Queen. Right the remember
Speaker 2: they have been invited to tea and they explain Marguerite's
Speaker 2: black eye as her having saved a baby from a
Speaker 2: runaway horse. The Queen asks if they know this contest
Speaker 2: that everyone has heard so much about, and The baroness
Speaker 2: recognizes the name of Danielle's mother and quickly puts two
Speaker 2: and two together, and she goes, why, yes, in fact,
Speaker 2: she's staying with us. Marguerite's like, huh, what the fuck
Speaker 2: is happening? And she goes, you know her by another name,
Speaker 2: my dear, you like to call her Cinderella, And Megan
Speaker 2: Dodds gets it, just silently walks ten feet away and
Speaker 2: has a fit, an actual fit, just like bah, like screaming,
Speaker 2: jumping up, It's like like clutching at her pearls, and
Speaker 2: then sits back down calmly, as if nothing had happened.
Speaker 1: And the Queen is like, what was that?
Speaker 2: Are you okay? And she's like, there was a bee?
Speaker 1: Excellent, Megan Dodds.
Speaker 2: You are a queen.
Speaker 1: You are a queen. Danielle heads to meet Henry, determined
Speaker 1: to tell him the truth. Honestly, what is her schedule?
Speaker 1: It feels like rod Milla could be filling her days
Speaker 1: a little bit more. I'm just gonna say it. Henry
Speaker 1: is buzzing with his feelings for her. He tells her
Speaker 1: he hasn't slept for fear of waking and finding out.
Speaker 1: The last day was a dream. Okay, that's romantic. That
Speaker 1: that's not your mouth of hypnotizing me. That's just actually romantic. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He tells her that he will tell the world how
Speaker 1: he feels the following night at the ball, and Danielle
Speaker 1: loses her resolve and just tells him honestly that last
Speaker 1: night was the happiest night of her life.
Speaker 2: There's a moment here where he kisses her and he
Speaker 2: like he hugs her, and because her back is injured,
Speaker 2: she like pulls away. She's like ow and she pulls away.
Speaker 2: He's like, did I hurt you? And she's like I
Speaker 2: have to go, and she runs away. It is so sad.
Speaker 2: The scene is so good. Back at the estate, the
Speaker 2: baroness is furious that the dress and slippers have disappeared.
Speaker 2: She demands to know where Danielle has hid them. Danielle's like, well,
Speaker 2: maybe they went wherever the candlesticks went and the tapestries
Speaker 2: went and the mirror went. Where is all our stuff
Speaker 2: you wore.
Speaker 1: Danielle's getting real mouthy mouth, real fucking but she.
Speaker 2: Is at the end of her rope with these bitches. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the baroness snaps back at her that she's better return
Speaker 2: the dress, and Danielle shouts that she would rather die
Speaker 2: a thousand deaths than see my mother's dress on that spoiled,
Speaker 2: selfish cow, pointing at Marguerite's a good mome.
Speaker 1: We've been hard Sean Drew Barrymorey. But this is a
Speaker 1: really good moment for her. I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: the accent is great, but the emotion is there.
Speaker 2: It's so good. She's so good there, and the Baroness
Speaker 2: just looks at her coldly and says, well, that can
Speaker 2: be arranged.
Speaker 1: Whoa damn.
Speaker 2: The Baroness then locks her in the kitchen and demands
Speaker 2: and her daughters gather everything that's valuable to sell, and
Speaker 2: Jacqueline is trying to like de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1: Poor Jacqueline, she's the guys.
Speaker 2: Guys, guys, guys, let's stop fighting.
Speaker 1: Please, everybody breathe.
Speaker 2: This is gonna end so badly for everyone. And she goes,
Speaker 2: it's only a ball, and the Baroness turns to her
Speaker 2: coldly and says, yes, and you're only going for the food, Jesus.
Speaker 2: And that's the moment, she really, honestly, that's the moment
Speaker 2: that the Baroness really really fucked up, like truly, of
Speaker 2: all the moments in the movie, that was the moment.
Speaker 2: She's like, you had almost an ally and now you
Speaker 2: have a fucking enemy in your own house. You you moron.
Speaker 1: We cut to the palace and the Queen is telling
Speaker 1: Henry what she learned from the Baroness rod Milledighent about
Speaker 1: the comtest del Nicole de Lancre. She's telling Henry that
Speaker 1: the contest was engaged to a Belgian and sailed away
Speaker 1: that very afternoon. Henry is quite upset. He thinks that
Speaker 1: because remember, like she came in and said, there's something
Speaker 1: I have to tell you, and then she didn't tell him,
Speaker 1: So he thinks that, oh, she was going to tell
Speaker 1: me this truth that she's engaged and she has to leave,
Speaker 1: and she couldn't bring it. I made a fool of
Speaker 1: myself pouring my royal heart out to her, and she
Speaker 1: was just trying to bid me farewell. He's very very
Speaker 1: put out. We cut to Maurice and Gustave plot devices
Speaker 1: if there ever were ones. Maurice demands that Gustave go
Speaker 1: try to find Da Vinci to help with the entire situation,
Speaker 1: because Danielle is locked in the kitchen and for some reason,
Speaker 1: the servants can't figure out how to get her out,
Speaker 1: so Gustave heads into town. He knocks out Toby Jones
Speaker 1: while he's taking a not very surreptitious leak on the wall,
Speaker 1: like he is on a main street and he just
Speaker 1: like turns a corner, looks around and drops trou to
Speaker 1: take a leak, and he steals his uniform.
Speaker 2: He must have murdered him, right, Like the movie doesn't
Speaker 2: posit that he positive he just knocked him out, but
Speaker 2: he drops a thirty pounds vase on this man's head
Speaker 2: from like ten feet up. I'm like, yeah, he definitely
Speaker 2: killed him.
Speaker 1: He's at the very least seriously injured and dying on
Speaker 1: the street. Maybe not dead when you left, but dead
Speaker 1: when you got back. A Gustav heads into the ball
Speaker 1: with this uniform on, so he doesn't need an invitation,
Speaker 1: and the ball is also like open air, so he
Speaker 1: can very easily get in, and he finds Da Vinci.
Speaker 2: Gustav brings Da Vinci back to the manor and he
Speaker 2: frees Danielle by pulling out the hingepins to the door
Speaker 2: and Paul It goes, sir, you're a genius. He's like, yes,
Speaker 2: I shall be remembered with her history is the man
Speaker 2: who opened a door. Danielle tells him of the whole truth. Listen,
Speaker 2: I'm a servant, I'm a stepdaughter, blah blah blah, and
Speaker 2: da Vinci says yes, and I'm the bastard son of
Speaker 2: a whore from a small town in Italy. And look
Speaker 2: at me now, so dream big girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: He says, you must go to the ball because not
Speaker 2: only because you deserve it, but because Henry deserves to
Speaker 2: hear the truth from the one he loves. And that's
Speaker 2: when she says the line A bird may love a fish,
Speaker 2: but where will they live? And that's and de Vinci says, well,
Speaker 2: then we must make you some wings, sha'n't we. That's
Speaker 2: a beautiful line because then he like, he's her fairy godmother, right,
Speaker 2: he's playing the role of the fairy godmother in the film.
Speaker 2: And so they dress her up and he makes her
Speaker 2: these beautiful gossamer wings for the ball, so that she
Speaker 2: has like a costume to wear that she's an angel.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's lovely.
Speaker 1: We cut back to the ball. The king tries to
Speaker 1: walk back his demand that Henry announced in his engagement
Speaker 1: he was just concerned that his middle aged son had
Speaker 1: not yet found a purpose in life. It was floundering
Speaker 1: aimlessly in the castle.
Speaker 2: But now we have a university, so okay.
Speaker 1: So I guess you have a passion and I'm cool
Speaker 1: with that. Henry says he's made a decision. Meanwhile, Jacqueline
Speaker 1: and Laurent make eyes at each other, and Henry is
Speaker 1: and so that's that's the nice stepsister and Henry's best friend,
Speaker 1: the captain of the guard, who was somehow not killed
Speaker 1: for losing Henry for like Syraka twenty four hours.
Speaker 2: Both of them are as horses for the ball. There's
Speaker 2: a cute little moment when the girls are all leaving
Speaker 2: for the ball. Yeah, and Chuqueline's like, why did I
Speaker 2: have to be the horse?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And so now she's like she's met her match, the
Speaker 2: other horse, and they kind of the scene is so awkward, but.
Speaker 1: They make it work somehow work.
Speaker 2: They're literally making winnying noises at each other from her.
Speaker 1: They're snorting and neighing at each other.
Speaker 2: Across a table because they're both eating because they're both chubby,
Speaker 2: and so they're the ones eating at the ball and
Speaker 2: making horse noises. At each other and flirting. It's so
Speaker 2: goddamn sweet.
Speaker 1: So Henry and his parents take the stage and they
Speaker 1: begin to announce Henry's decision. Just as Danielle crests the
Speaker 1: steps beyond the crowd. Henry sees her and he stops
Speaker 1: his father from what he's saying. She says, just breathe
Speaker 1: as the camera pans up and she looks like an
Speaker 1: angel with her wings and her makeup and her mother's clothes.
Speaker 2: They rush towards each other, but the Baroness is not
Speaker 2: going to be defeated so easily. She intercepts Danielle. She
Speaker 2: tears the wings off her costume, declaring that she he's
Speaker 2: a servant on her estate. This is an imposter. Danielle
Speaker 2: has no choice but to admit the truth in front
Speaker 2: of literally everyone. Yep, and Henry finally connects her to
Speaker 2: the one who hit him on the head with the
Speaker 2: apple a couple of days prior, and he's like, wait
Speaker 2: a minute, are you Hall of Fame quarterback Marino?
Speaker 1: Is that you? I wish I knew of a gold
Speaker 1: medal shot putter's name, but I just don't.
Speaker 2: It's true. All I got all I got a football player,
Speaker 2: give pictures.
Speaker 1: Are you oral, Hrscheizer?
Speaker 2: Are you oral Hersheizer? Holy shit? Can I get an autograph?
Speaker 2: He starts to walk away from her, and she pleads
Speaker 2: with him, no, please listen, Henry, listen to me. Listen
Speaker 2: to me, and he turns around and says, Madam, do
Speaker 2: not address me so informally, and he accuses her of
Speaker 2: being just like them, just tricking him for her own purposes,
Speaker 2: and she flees weeping. We have been super, super harsh
Speaker 2: on Drew Barrymore in this movie, and she deserves it.
Speaker 2: But she's really fucking good when she starts to cry,
Speaker 2: when her face like crumbles and she starts to cry
Speaker 2: because she's so hurt by him. Honestly, I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't know if I if I can never get
Speaker 2: back on the Henry train after this moment.
Speaker 1: Well her Barrymore cries, America cries.
Speaker 2: That's what we know, honestly, Like, that's the gift of
Speaker 2: Drew Barrymore. I'm like, oh no, I want to take
Speaker 2: care of you.
Speaker 1: Da Vinci watches as Danielle flees, and she of course
Speaker 1: leaves the slipper behind. We are telling the Cinderella taile. Remember,
Speaker 1: he finds Henry sulking on a turret and he gives
Speaker 1: him the business. Henry says, Danielle lied to me, and
Speaker 1: Da Vince scoffs that she came here to tell you.
Speaker 2: The truth and you fed her to the wolves.
Speaker 1: Henry now repeats the line of I was born to
Speaker 1: privilege and that comes with specific obligations. Right, so now
Speaker 1: it's twisted again to be like this kind of death
Speaker 1: sentence or whatever. Da Vinci says, a life without love
Speaker 1: is no life at all, and Henry shouts he's made
Speaker 1: his decision and he will not yield, and Da vinc sighs,
Speaker 1: then you don't deserve her, and he puts the glass
Speaker 1: slipper on the turret as it starts to rain, and
Speaker 1: we see daniel arrived back on the estate, weeping as
Speaker 1: all of her hopes and dreams come crashing down around her.
Speaker 2: The end of movie.
Speaker 1: And that's the end of the movie.
Speaker 2: You guys, who said you guys anyway, stick around. We'll
Speaker 2: be right back just kidding at the estate the next day.
Speaker 2: Although if you don't think this is going to get
Speaker 2: so much darker before it gets better, oh I know,
Speaker 2: this is the part of the movie where I'm like,
Speaker 2: holy shit, this got dark.
Speaker 1: I remember seeing this part of the movie. It like
Speaker 1: and this part of the movie actually shocking me when
Speaker 1: I saw it, that they went they went here.
Speaker 2: I agreed, agreed, because if you think Pierre Lapeu has
Speaker 2: made his last his last appearance in this film, you
Speaker 2: are mistaken.
Speaker 1: You are wrong, You're wrong, monsieur.
Speaker 2: At the estate the next day, Danielle is going about
Speaker 2: her chores, right, She's miserable, heartbroken, doesn't want to talk
Speaker 2: to anyone. The Baroness approaches her. They fight again. Danielle
Speaker 2: is like, you won, shut the fuck up and leave
Speaker 2: me alone. The Baroness, like just taus, is like, fine,
Speaker 2: I will. In fact, you're not even my problem anymore.
Speaker 2: And Danielle's turns to her and says, am I just
Speaker 2: a problem to you? Have I always just been a problem.
Speaker 2: Is there ever a moment on any level that you
Speaker 2: ever loved me even a little bit? And the Baroness says,
Speaker 2: how could I ever love a pebble in my shoe?
Speaker 2: And Danielle says all I've ever wanted from you was
Speaker 2: a mother. And Jelica Houston is so good that without
Speaker 2: saying a word, you can see her like take that
Speaker 2: information in and be like, ouch, okay, that hurt a little.
Speaker 2: The Baroness is like, well, it doesn't matter because now
Speaker 2: you're someone else's problem, and Danielle's like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: And then arrives Pierre le Piew of the House of
Speaker 2: Le Pieux. He arrives with all the estates riches in
Speaker 2: tow all the stuff that had that had been lost
Speaker 2: quote unquote lost or misplaced the last few months, the tapestry,
Speaker 2: the candlesticks, blah blah blah. Turns out the Baroness has
Speaker 2: been selling it all to him. He's returned them, and
Speaker 2: Danielle says, well, thank you so much, sir for returning
Speaker 2: our thing, and he goes, I'm not doing this out
Speaker 2: of kindness, Danielle. I'm a businessman. I've made a trade.
Speaker 2: Just as it starts to dawn on Danielle what's going on,
Speaker 2: the Baroness gleefully informs all of us that Danielle has
Speaker 2: been swapped for the goods, and Danielle starts to scream no, no,
Speaker 2: as Pierre's goons grab her and shove her into a
Speaker 2: carriage and they drive off with her.
Speaker 1: We cut to Henry's wedding to the Spanish Princess to
Speaker 1: the Infanta as I believe you said, yeah, the Infanta.
Speaker 1: She weeps uncontrollably. One of Penelope Cruise's best performances.
Speaker 2: This look. I don't know who this woman is. She
Speaker 2: only speaks like two lines are both in Spanish. In
Speaker 2: the film, she's excellent. The weeping sounds that she makes
Speaker 2: are so funny because it's like long and drawn out,
Speaker 2: and they're like, dearly beloved, we are gathering here today,
Speaker 2: enjoy this man and this woman who.
Speaker 1: She's clearly deeply in love with. Courtier in the audience.
Speaker 1: I like that they decided to have this Courtier not
Speaker 1: be like a dugree Scott, but just be like a
Speaker 1: really normal looking dude. This a full on, like average man,
Speaker 1: and the Spanish Princess loves him. Henry is suddenly struck
Speaker 1: by the foolishness of all of this. He tells her
Speaker 1: to stand up, and he tells her he knows exactly
Speaker 1: how she feels. She understands enough English to get that
Speaker 1: he's kind of like ending the engagement. She rushes to
Speaker 1: her love.
Speaker 2: We do get a great moment of the Spanish King
Speaker 2: and Queen yelling at each other in Spanish and saying,
Speaker 2: this is your fault. No, this is your fault. You
Speaker 2: raised her wrong. No, you raised her wrong. Excellent.
Speaker 1: Henry rushes off as well. No one pursues him.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: He sees Maurice and Jacqueline outside the palace and they
Speaker 1: tell him that Danielle has been sold, and Henry says,
Speaker 1: you must tell no one about this, and he gets
Speaker 1: Laurent and they ride off together.
Speaker 2: Okay, like again, she's been sold to an older man
Speaker 2: who's like wanted her since she was Like, this gets
Speaker 2: so dark. She was sold a while ago because between
Speaker 2: the ball and this wedding there has the Spanish King
Speaker 2: and Queen had to come up to France that that
Speaker 2: ship took two weeks back in the day. Time has passed,
Speaker 2: that she has been toiling under this evil, lecherous man.
Speaker 2: I don't want to get too dark, but it's dark.
Speaker 2: It is fucking dark.
Speaker 1: I do think the movie posits that this all happens
Speaker 1: in the space of a day. I know that's impossible,
Speaker 1: it's impossible, but I think in the movies telling of this,
Speaker 1: there's a there's a there's an there's an acella, there's
Speaker 1: an a sella carriage that there's a high speed trade,
Speaker 1: and the Spanish king and Queen were already on their
Speaker 1: way with the Infanta.
Speaker 2: Yeah to say that, let's say that. Yeah, they had
Speaker 2: a helicopter. They choppered in. It's fine to worry about it.
Speaker 2: So we cut to Pierre Lepiu's castle. Picture of Villain's castle.
Speaker 1: You've done it, you got it done. No, stop sucking it.
Speaker 2: It is just dark and tank and scary and full
Speaker 2: of nothing but swords everywhere. It's just swords. Danielle has
Speaker 2: now been she's been put in irons. Her feet and
Speaker 2: her hands are manacled. She is serving him, right, she
Speaker 2: is moving things around, she's cleaning things.
Speaker 1: Actually, you're right, though time has passed because he says,
Speaker 1: I'll let you out of the irons if you promise
Speaker 1: not to run away again. So like, no, she's so,
Speaker 1: you're right again.
Speaker 2: I don't want to get this is not an episode
Speaker 2: of s view. We do not have to get into this.
Speaker 2: I love that the movie is willing to go to
Speaker 2: some of these darker places of like, people can literally
Speaker 2: be sold and bought in this economy, and this is
Speaker 2: a terrible thing. However, maybe pull back a skosh on
Speaker 2: this one. Look I'm gonna blow past this now because
Speaker 2: I want this movie to have its happy ending, and
Speaker 2: I don't want anything to happen to Danielle. So let's
Speaker 2: just say she's fine. She's miserable, but she's fine, right
Speaker 2: Lepew reminds her that she belongs to him now, and
Speaker 2: she insists I belong to no one for some inexplicable reason.
Speaker 2: Even though he knows this woman, he knows that she's
Speaker 2: got the She's got the skills of an athlete, the
Speaker 2: prowess of a of a cat burglar, and the fucking
Speaker 2: knife skills of a musketeer, he still charges her with
Speaker 2: cleaning his sword collection. Bitch, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: What he needed a Gustav He needed a gay best
Speaker 1: friend to be like, you got to keep this one up,
Speaker 1: locked up tight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you doing? You do not hand a
Speaker 2: sword to this woman.
Speaker 1: Well, you have a feral girl on your hands here.
Speaker 2: She actually wants to kill you. So she's literally he's like,
Speaker 2: you belong to me, and she's like carrying his sword
Speaker 2: collection into the room that she is just like, I
Speaker 2: guess cleaned. He makes a move on her. He goes
Speaker 2: to grab her as though he's gonna kiss her or something.
Speaker 2: She grabs one of the swords and one of the
Speaker 2: knives throw like throws it to his throat and says, sir,
Speaker 2: give me the key or I will cut you from
Speaker 2: navel to nose. Yeah, And he's like, you wouldn't dare
Speaker 2: And then she like puts the knife right at his
Speaker 2: face and is like, tri me, bitch.
Speaker 1: She does say my father taught me. Well, girl, your
Speaker 1: father died when you were eight. You know what she's
Speaker 1: kept in practice? I guess she paul. She's also stark.
Speaker 1: We cut outside and Henry rides up just as Danielle
Speaker 1: walks out into the courtyard, having freed herself. So she's
Speaker 1: not rescued by the prince. She frees herself. She doesn't
Speaker 1: need no prince. The prince needs her exactly, he rushes
Speaker 1: to her. She asks what he's doing there, and he
Speaker 1: says he came to rescue her and begs her forgiveness,
Speaker 1: and he calls her Danielle, and he asks her to
Speaker 1: call him Henry, and he asks her to marry him,
Speaker 1: and he puts the glass slipper on her foot and
Speaker 1: she falls into his arms, laugh crying. At one point
Speaker 1: he's like she he calls her Danielle and she turns around.
Speaker 1: She says say it again, and he says, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: and he goes. She says, no, call me Danielle, and
Speaker 1: I really wish she had said you had me at Danielle.
Speaker 2: Again. I'm just going to praise the Gray Scott because
Speaker 2: he's like, he's like, I came to rescue you, and
Speaker 2: he looks at her, and then he looks at the
Speaker 2: castle and realizes that she's rescued herself and he's like, sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, look on his face like he knows he's
Speaker 2: not gonna do it. It's so good.
Speaker 1: Do you want to go back inside? I'll be very princely.
Speaker 2: At the estate, the Baroness and Marguerite are interrogating Jacqueline
Speaker 2: about her encounter with the prince. It's a mirror scene
Speaker 2: to the one with Danielle earlier in the filmy, and
Speaker 2: she's like, oh, it happens so quickly. I don't even
Speaker 2: know what happened. All I know is the Prince said
Speaker 2: something to the effect of I should never have chosen
Speaker 2: the Spanish princess over your sister, and the Baroness and
Speaker 2: Marguerite are.
Speaker 1: Like, chit chit.
Speaker 2: Laurent then arrives and announces that the King has requested
Speaker 2: an audience with the entire family, and he asks that
Speaker 2: they dress in style, and the Baroness says absolutely, and
Speaker 2: she and Marguerite run off to get dressed, and Jacqueline
Speaker 2: and Laurent like wink at each other, and then Jacqueline
Speaker 2: closes the doors of the manner.
Speaker 1: The Baroness and her family arrive at the palace to
Speaker 1: find the King and Queen and the whole court awaiting them.
Speaker 1: They're very excited because they see Henry up on the
Speaker 1: dais as well, until the King asks if the baroness
Speaker 1: lied to the Queen, and the Baroness's face goes white,
Speaker 1: and the Queen makes some comment of like be careful.
Speaker 1: So the Baroness stammers, well, I may have, perhaps it
Speaker 1: exaggerated a few things, and Marguerite immediately protests her own
Speaker 1: innocence while throwing her mother under whatever the fifteen hundreds
Speaker 1: equivalent of a bus is, being like, I can't you
Speaker 1: see what I'm dealing with. I can't believe this. She
Speaker 1: lied to the queen.
Speaker 2: She threw me into the carriage.
Speaker 1: Yes, the Baroness is stripped of her title, and the
Speaker 1: Queen pronounces that she and Marguerite will be shipped to
Speaker 1: America unless someone will speak for them.
Speaker 2: There's a great moment here where they look around and
Speaker 2: all the courtiers are just not looking at them, like
Speaker 2: all the courtiers and the Baroness goes. Seems to be
Speaker 2: a lot of people are out of town today.
Speaker 1: Angelica Houston does not miss in this movie. Danielle, who
Speaker 1: is now married to the Prince. We've cut past the
Speaker 1: entire marriage ceremony. She is now the Princess of France.
Speaker 1: She steps forward and she says, I'll speak for the Baroness.
Speaker 1: Danielle tells the Baroness, I want you to know that
Speaker 1: I will forget you after this moment and never think
Speaker 1: of you again.
Speaker 2: For you, I'm quite certain sorry you're going.
Speaker 1: We'll think about may every day for the rest of
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 2: Accurate, accurate.
Speaker 1: She asks the royal family for the same courtesy that
Speaker 1: the Baroness bestowed upon her, and we smash cut to
Speaker 1: the Baroness and Marguerite starting their future careers as washerwomen
Speaker 1: in the palace.
Speaker 2: We cut to Da Vinci revealing his portrait of Danielle
Speaker 2: with all their friends. The actual Da Vinci painting, but
Speaker 2: they put through barrymore space on it. It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1: That is funny.
Speaker 2: Danielle and Henry kiss, and we hear the grand dame's
Speaker 2: voice over telling us my great great grandmother's portrait hung
Speaker 2: in the university up until the revolution. They didn't mention.
Speaker 2: By then the truth of the romance had been reduced
Speaker 2: to a simple fairy tale. And while Cinderella and her
Speaker 2: prince did live happily ever after, the important thing is
Speaker 2: they lived.
Speaker 1: That's sweet. That's a nice ending.
Speaker 2: This movie is actually historical fact. This actually all happened.
Speaker 1: Okay, Wow, that's incredible.
Speaker 2: Yeahah, just don't even look that up.
Speaker 1: Guys. Just take a word for it, all right. That
Speaker 1: is the end of ever After, ever After. Uh, stick around.
Speaker 1: We will come right back after these messages with our
Speaker 1: random observations and final rankings.
Speaker 6: And we're back, Paul, Sir Paul, Lady Ericatus.
Speaker 2: With the gift of observations.
Speaker 1: All right. So, I just think it's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite things to see in these movies is when they
Speaker 1: have an actor making a beautiful picture, like sitting in
Speaker 1: a windowsill or something, and you just think about how uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: They must be, because when she arrives the Ruins after
Speaker 1: she's been lashed, and she thinks she's gonna tell him
Speaker 1: the truth, and he's like, oh my god, I'm buzzing,
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to sleep last night because I
Speaker 1: was so afraid I was gonna wake up from this dream.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. They have Doug Ray Scott sitting on
Speaker 1: like in a stone window, just like with his nothing
Speaker 1: up against his back and he's reading a book and
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's don't touch the ground. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is so uncomfortable. This cord poor man is that if
Speaker 1: he breaks a hip, he's not gonna make it. He's
Speaker 1: too old.
Speaker 2: There's a couple of lines that I love in this movie.
Speaker 2: Actually I'll say this one first because it's in that
Speaker 2: very scene and it's that very romantic scene where he's like,
Speaker 2: I didn't want to sleep because I was afraid of
Speaker 2: waking up. Another one that he says, which is so beautiful,
Speaker 2: he goes, I feel as though my skin is the
Speaker 2: only and keeping me from going everywhere at once.
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my god, that's a good one.
Speaker 2: When that man looks at you and says that to you.
Speaker 2: There's I would be like I forgot, I forgot everything
Speaker 2: I was gonna came here to confess.
Speaker 1: Never mind, he is so romantic and charming in that
Speaker 1: scene that you get why she loses her resolve and
Speaker 1: is like, maybe I can play this out. Let's let's
Speaker 1: roll the dice on this.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe I can't gaslight him forever?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Why not?
Speaker 2: Why not?
Speaker 1: He doesn't seem to be the brightest. Did you notice
Speaker 1: the moment it's in that random scene where Maurice is
Speaker 1: telling Gustav to go find himn she they're in the
Speaker 1: town and there do you remember devil sticks from the nineties, Yes,
Speaker 1: there is a man doing devil sticks like an old
Speaker 1: timey pitchfork. It's like that. I wanted more of more
Speaker 1: of that. Yes, stupid meta references.
Speaker 2: Another Baroness moment at the very end of the movie,
Speaker 2: when she and Marguerite are being washerwomen. She tells Marguerite
Speaker 2: to do something and Marguerite's like, you have to do
Speaker 2: it too, You're just as low down as me now,
Speaker 2: and she Baroness says, yes, but I have management.
Speaker 1: Yes, I had that too. My last one is just
Speaker 1: the moment of triumph for Jacqueline in the movie, who
Speaker 1: puts up with so much and who's really a lovely
Speaker 1: person as much as she can be. The end of
Speaker 1: the movie, when when Marguerite and the Baroness are fighting,
Speaker 1: the king goes, are they always like this? And Jacqueline goes, worse,
Speaker 1: your majesty, and the Baroness turns around she goes, Jacqueline,
Speaker 1: I'd hate to think that you had something to do
Speaker 1: with this, and Jacqueline says, of course not, mother, I'm
Speaker 1: just here for the food. Excellent, excellent.
Speaker 2: And then it cut to Laurent. He like winks at
Speaker 2: her and he's like, yeah, that's my girl.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have some horse play in the bedroom later. Ah,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 2: I just have one more too. And it's also in
Speaker 2: that scene and that last scene. Did you notice when
Speaker 2: the Baroness and Marguerite come in and there's a shot
Speaker 2: of like the entire gathering, all the court, the royals
Speaker 2: are sitting up like on a dais, Do you do
Speaker 2: notice who is sitting there with them?
Speaker 1: No, at the King's feet, I don't think so.
Speaker 2: At the king's feet is sitting a grown man who
Speaker 2: has never but before been shown in this movie wearing
Speaker 2: a very brightly covered onesie and a gesture's hat. There's
Speaker 2: a gesture has a Canonically, this court has a jester.
Speaker 1: I completely miss that.
Speaker 2: Were there not more gesture scenes in the film, I
Speaker 2: need you, d I needed one one hundred more jester scenes.
Speaker 1: I want the gester commenting constantly.
Speaker 2: I want him to be a terrible gesture. I want
Speaker 2: his name to be Steve. I want his name. He's
Speaker 2: Steve the Jester, He's Kevin the Jester. He's just there.
Speaker 2: He's like, well, my grandfather did it. My father did it,
Speaker 2: so now I'm doing it too, and I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: And my heart's not in it, you guys.
Speaker 1: He's the only one in the whole movie who speaks
Speaker 1: with a French accent.
Speaker 2: He's played by a French actor.
Speaker 1: He's played by a young guy from the Jean du Jardine, Paul,
Speaker 1: how shall.
Speaker 2: We rank ever after?
Speaker 1: Ever after?
Speaker 2: See? I did it before you, you did it.
Speaker 1: I've taught you. I've taught you something here one to
Speaker 1: ten middle aged Prince Charmings. Middle aged is mean. He's
Speaker 1: not middle aged. She's still quite young in us. He's
Speaker 1: just younger than us. To be younger than us, yes,
Speaker 1: by a lot. But he's not young as young as
Speaker 1: Prince Charming is meant to be.
Speaker 2: He's not young enough to play the role.
Speaker 1: He has ten good years left in fifteen hundreds, Frances,
Speaker 1: and then he will be dead.
Speaker 2: His back is going to go out any second now.
Speaker 2: How about one to ten indscribable accents. Drew Berrymore's English
Speaker 2: accent sometimes veers off into Australian. Hey, I have to
Speaker 2: think that's all the time she spends with Melon Lensky.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, yeah, so she's like picky of.
Speaker 2: Her like New Zealand. It's American, it's English.
Speaker 1: It'll go full California a couple of times.
Speaker 2: It is a disaster.
Speaker 1: How about one to ten road pirates?
Speaker 2: Ooh, I encountered some road pirates today.
Speaker 1: One to ten Throuway corsairs.
Speaker 5: Throw away corsairs, Broadway buccaneers.
Speaker 2: How about one to ten curiously athletic French peasants.
Speaker 1: Oh she has she has the arm of the gold
Speaker 1: medal javelin thrower from the twenty twenty four Olympics. I
Speaker 1: don't know who it is.
Speaker 2: She has. She has the legs of that first guy
Speaker 2: who ran the first marathon in marathon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in Greece. That first dude Polix the Knees or
Speaker 1: something like that. I'm sure his name was something to
Speaker 1: that effect, something to that effect. Yeah, yeah, let's see
Speaker 1: this one. She's a curiously athletic young.
Speaker 2: Young girl, curiously athletic, Paul, would you like to go sure?
Speaker 1: I'll go first on this one. By our rubric, there
Speaker 1: are no people of color in it. The movie does
Speaker 1: away with enough accuracy that they could have gone color
Speaker 1: blind casting and it would not have It really would
Speaker 1: not have been a hitch in anyone's stitch about this,
Speaker 1: So I would ding the movie for that. It's nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety eight. We can put some people who are not
Speaker 1: just European in the movie, even in a movie set
Speaker 1: in fifteen hundreds Europe. It's fine.
Speaker 2: What about the highwaymen. The fact that they have that
Speaker 2: that group in the film is that that representation is
Speaker 2: that even good representation.
Speaker 1: There is an ongoing thing with them too, where like
Speaker 1: Henry's like, I want to we're just gonna say the word.
Speaker 1: I want to invite the Gypsies to the wedding. And
Speaker 1: then there's one moment where like when she first arrives,
Speaker 1: he's like, look, I invited the Gypsies, so probable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the ball I don't know that that because those are
Speaker 1: still Europeans. They're still Caucasian. I believe they're Caucasian Europeans.
Speaker 1: So there's some ethnic group that's being represented there, but
Speaker 1: perhaps not well. And I actually genuinely don't think there's
Speaker 1: any people of color, not even in the background. I
Speaker 1: think it's all white people in this whole movie. So
Speaker 1: I would dig it on that, but I think it's feminist.
Speaker 1: Accolades are pretty pretty in line. They make sure that
Speaker 1: one of the evil stepsisters is not an evil stepsister,
Speaker 1: so like there's some variation there. They give the baroness
Speaker 1: some actual like motivation, not good motivation, but like understandable
Speaker 1: psychological motivation for why she hates the Cinderella figure so much,
Speaker 1: which is interesting. Danielle is a really great part, performed
Speaker 1: well at times, not accented consistently, I don't think, but
Speaker 1: but you know, when she has to cry, she cries.
Speaker 1: It's great. I think she and Dougray Scott have good chemistry.
Speaker 1: And then for queer representation, we do have da Vinci
Speaker 1: and Gustav da Vinci canonically like the gentleman. Yes that
Speaker 1: is a gay carry. You can't can't change that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's historical.
Speaker 1: I really wish they had had him in like Michelangelo,
Speaker 1: because there's a reference to Michaelangelo being buried under the
Speaker 1: Systeine chain. Like, I really wish they had had him
Speaker 1: rip Michaelangelo every single chance he got the bitchiest one
Speaker 1: liners about Michaelangelo the writers could come up with.
Speaker 2: So you know, I fucking twink over the Vatican.
Speaker 1: Constantly on his back like a turtle. And then it's
Speaker 1: like a reference a meta reference the Ninja Turtles, you
Speaker 1: know all that. Oh you know, yeah, yeah. I think
Speaker 1: the movie ages really well. I think the message ages
Speaker 1: well the way that we know historically this is not
Speaker 1: true in any way, but that like people in the
Speaker 1: ruling class should be appreciating the people in the lower class.
Speaker 1: They are part of the system, like they should be
Speaker 1: being lifted up as well, not downtrodden at every opportunity.
Speaker 1: Not sold. Let's not sell people.
Speaker 2: Perhaps sell people anymore. Let's just stop that.
Speaker 1: It's such a low bar and yet still humanity has
Speaker 1: not cleared it. So I'm gonna rate this pretty high.
Speaker 1: I think the only real big ding on it would
Speaker 1: be the lack of people of color in some of
Speaker 1: the roles. But other than that, I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it's it lines up pretty well and it's pretty
Speaker 1: fun to watch, and and the people of color is
Speaker 1: a cinem omission. There's no like, well, there's some kind
Speaker 1: of maybe negative representation of the Romani.
Speaker 2: People, but I don't think it's that negative.
Speaker 1: That's true because because they're they're shown as as as highwaymen,
Speaker 1: as as as as as expressway rogues. But but but
Speaker 1: they are also shown to be like loving and they
Speaker 1: they welcome into the band. So yeah, you're right, it's
Speaker 1: not the worst at all.
Speaker 2: They're not They're not like frightening, yeah, the way that
Speaker 2: they're often portrayed in films.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to give it a seven. I'm going
Speaker 1: to give it a seven out of ten. Curiously athletic
Speaker 1: French peasants. A French peasant who participated in the Dan
Speaker 1: versus Dan decathlete thing that was happening when we were
Speaker 1: in high school in the Olympics. Who's the greatest Dan
Speaker 1: versus Dave? I think Dan versus Dave was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a French peasant who goes to Orange theory.
Speaker 2: You knows a full body workout.
Speaker 1: A French peasant who actually teaches at soul cycle, like
Speaker 1: a soul cycle instructor who's also a French peasant.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Danielle is a soul cycle instructor. Okay, everybody,
Speaker 2: I'm Danielle, your soul cycle instructor. Now she's German, I'm
Speaker 2: playing her German.
Speaker 1: How about you? What do you think?
Speaker 2: You're absolutely right? By nineteen ninety eight, we could do
Speaker 2: color blind casting. Who gives a shit, We're already doing.
Speaker 1: Accent blind casting completely.
Speaker 2: We're doing accent deaf casting. Like if we're different, Like
Speaker 2: these people are all supposed to be English, even though
Speaker 2: they're in France. What's to prevent some characters of being
Speaker 2: people of color in this film? Aside from that, I
Speaker 2: do think the representation of the Romani people is actually
Speaker 2: not bad. It's it's having them is like in the
Speaker 2: film at all is something. And but also they're not terrifying,
Speaker 2: they're not shown as they're not shown as monsters or villains.
Speaker 2: They're they're yeah, they're lovable rogues. Yeah yeah, and I
Speaker 2: and the female representation is fantastic. It's a movie about
Speaker 2: women for women. She saves Henry's life. At one point
Speaker 2: he even tells her, you just saved my life back there,
Speaker 2: Like there's never a moment where she needs rescu where
Speaker 2: it's always her rescuing him at every turn yep, or
Speaker 2: herself at every turn, which is super important. And the
Speaker 2: movie does it without being like without being like hitting
Speaker 2: you over the head with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not didactic about it.
Speaker 5: It's not.
Speaker 2: It's like there is a moment at the end where
Speaker 2: she's like, what are you doing here and he's like,
Speaker 2: I came to rescue you, and like realize, like that's
Speaker 2: the most idactic it gets about it, where it's like
Speaker 2: it puts a hat on a hat. It's like, get it.
Speaker 2: She didn't need to be rescued by the guy. But
Speaker 2: like it does it throughout the movie, and she's a
Speaker 2: really really great character. You gave it a seven.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna give it an eight. Okay.
Speaker 2: Also because the movie so many Cinderella stories gloss over
Speaker 2: the like the peasantry of it all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it goes so hard.
Speaker 2: This is the first one I can ever think of,
Speaker 2: the first time I ever think of a Cinderella story
Speaker 2: or a fairy tale where they discuss.
Speaker 1: Like the feudal system of government.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, the feudal system of government, and like actually
Speaker 2: sort of explain it to an audience that, to be fair,
Speaker 2: hasn't thought about it ever. Probably right, so they were
Speaker 2: probably like, wait, what I appreciate the movie for, like
Speaker 2: really hitting that hard and like b for it are Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it an eight, an eight out of ten. Curiously,
Speaker 2: very curiously athletic French peasants has she has one of
Speaker 2: those like yoga mats under her bed. Every morning she
Speaker 2: gets up, she's like, okay, gotta stretch, got gotta.
Speaker 1: Do Warrior one, Warrior two. She has to go through
Speaker 1: her sword forms, all right. So I don't feel need
Speaker 1: to offer a palate cleanser. I think ever After should
Speaker 1: be enjoyed by people of all ages.
Speaker 2: I think so too, And I cannot tell you enough.
Speaker 2: If you saw this movie in nineteen ninety eight like
Speaker 2: I did, and you were like, that's a bad movie.
Speaker 2: Watch it again. It ages better than you remember it.
Speaker 2: It's much better than I remembered it, absolutely all right.
Speaker 1: So, Erica, that's the end of our show. Everyone listening
Speaker 1: can follow us on social media. We are on Blue Sky,
Speaker 1: we are on threads. We are on Instagram. If you
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Speaker 1: five star review on podcast Addict, on all these places,
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Speaker 1: to rate this podcast dot com slash that well and
Speaker 1: follow the instructions there.
Speaker 2: That Aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Kaola
Speaker 2: We would like to thank Heather, Ellen, Lauren, Emily, Camille,
Speaker 2: Jan Bethany, Sarah and Abby for reaching out and letting
Speaker 2: us know what they want to hear. If you want
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Speaker 2: Today we are hearing from Ooh, the One, the Only,
Speaker 2: Harvey Firestein.
Speaker 5: Well Bonchour that age Well listeners. Isn't it a delight
Speaker 5: to have me back here again. I love this discussion
Speaker 5: on ever After, but I want to know when is
Speaker 5: Hollywood going to green light what are my queer retellings
Speaker 5: of a fairy tale? Jonathan Bailey already sucked on Matt
Speaker 5: Bowma's feet and fellow travelers. Let's get the two of
Speaker 5: them and send a feller and make the whole trying
Speaker 5: on the glass slipper scene a little freaky. I've had
Speaker 5: Kristen Stewart signed on for the most fucked up version
Speaker 5: of Little Red Riding Whud You've ever heard of for years, and.
Speaker 1: I can't get funding.
Speaker 5: I don't want to say too much, but Holland Taylor
Speaker 5: plays a grandmother and Sarah Parson plays the wolf, and
Speaker 5: the double entendres right themselves. But I'm not here to
Speaker 5: talk about the vagaries of a career in show business.
Speaker 5: I'm here to thank Melissa for being a patron of
Speaker 5: that aged well.
Speaker 1: What a great gal she is.
Speaker 5: I know if she as an executive at Warner Brothers,
Speaker 5: my adaptation of the Three Little Pigs starring Chris Kolfa,
Speaker 5: Justice Smith and Brandon Flynn would already have been made.
Speaker 5: Ricky Martin, Beattie Wong and Murray botlet are all currently
Speaker 5: fighting over who gets to play the wolf, and no
Speaker 5: matter which one of them wins, we would all make
Speaker 5: out like bandits. The whole thing is enough to make
Speaker 5: Anita Bryant's head explode. Can you believe that bitch is
Speaker 5: still alive? And it would frankly print money anyway. Thank you,
Speaker 5: Melissa for being a bright light in these trying times.
Speaker 5: Uncle Hobby is so happy he could be here to
Speaker 5: celebrate you.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: I actually can't believe Innita Bryant's still alive. I thought
Speaker 1: height was supposed to kill you eventually. I know.
Speaker 2: I think it makes you stronger, keeps you hearty.
Speaker 1: It pickles you, It pickles you.
Speaker 2: Jim only didn't know that until you sold me.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, now I have to know that
Speaker 1: if I have to know it, so to you.
Speaker 2: Damn it, damn it, Jimmy Carter just passed, But fucking
Speaker 2: Anita Bryan's still alive.
Speaker 1: Damn it, Harvey, why do you have to share that bit?
Speaker 1: Future Paul and Erica here, Oh my god, you guys.
Speaker 2: Did we kill Anita Bryant?
Speaker 1: Ding dong the bitch died?
Speaker 2: No shit, guys, we recorded that and the next day she.
Speaker 1: Died, and you know what, I don't feel bad about it.
Speaker 2: So are we witches?
Speaker 1: I hope?
Speaker 2: So it is possible for witches, in which case I
Speaker 2: just want to say, for the record, I hope David
Speaker 2: miss Cabbage enjoys the anal worts.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: I guess I gave him with my mind.
Speaker 1: And I hope Anita Bryan is enjoying swimming in the
Speaker 1: tub of fetid urine that I'm sure she's in right now,
Speaker 1: in whatever plane she may be existing on. Burn, bitch, Burn,
Speaker 1: I hate you.
Speaker 2: Maybe hell does exist?
Speaker 1: Okay, back to the show, all right, Erica, any final
Speaker 1: thoughts and ever after? Ever after?
Speaker 2: Signora, A bird may love a fish. But where, where
Speaker 2: or where does my English accent come from?
Speaker 1: It's not Leads. It's definitely not Leads.
Speaker 2: What county is this accent from? I love you, Drew Barrymore.
Speaker 1: I really do never change, never change?
Speaker 2: Oh God, really quick, really quick, because I didn't think
Speaker 2: of one off the top of my head. Hmmm, No,
Speaker 2: because you're gonna know the lyrics to that one. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to find way that you wouldn't know the lyrics
Speaker 2: too necessarily, but they're really Google's only giving me really
Speaker 2: really like they're like, what about the pet shot boys.
Speaker 2: I'm like, we all know the pet shop boys.