WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:06.839 Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Broadcast. If you don't 2 00:00:06.839 --> 00:00:12.240 make mistakes, you won't learn. With your host, Corey Winfield, 3 00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:14.080 you know how you know fish as bad if you 4 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:17.640 can't put it on pizza and special guests Justin. 5 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:21.239 Burke, the thumb nail totally does not dictate the move 6 00:00:21.399 --> 00:00:21.719 at all. 7 00:00:21.800 --> 00:00:22.640 Corey Smokers. 8 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:24.920 Maybe one day I can make it onto the TV. 9 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:28.519 I'll count and Mitchell O'Brien he goes, you recorded me 10 00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:31.320 a little sleep it and I was like nope. He goes, 11 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:37.079 Winfield dead. I got this harror in his eyes and 12 00:00:37.159 --> 00:00:40.520 I was like nope, and then he's like it was Smoker, 13 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:47.520 got yours. It is the second of December twenty twenty 14 00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:51.759 four of My name is Corey Winfield, I'm Justin Burke, 15 00:00:52.600 --> 00:00:53.479 I'm Mitchell. 16 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:55.880 O'Brien and I'm Corey Smoker. What up? 17 00:00:56.320 --> 00:00:58.520 That's up? The first time we've done a podcast together, 18 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:01.560 and I don't know since summer probably yeah, the fishing 19 00:01:01.600 --> 00:01:04.640 event of moon Bro. So it's been forever. It's been 20 00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:07.799 forrever Sins. I've done a podcast in general. Yes, Marnie 21 00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:09.480 over the weekend was like, let's do a podcast. I 22 00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:14.840 says sure we didn't. You got a little one. 23 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:14.959 Man. 24 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:19.000 It's it's tough because like she's on this Betty Crocker 25 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:21.719 thing where she wants to be Betty Crocker. She wants 26 00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:25.359 to be Marnie Winfield aka Betty Crocker or the other 27 00:01:25.400 --> 00:01:28.760 lady who went to jail Snoop Dogg's friend, Martha Stewart. Yeah, 28 00:01:29.079 --> 00:01:31.239 she wants to be like her, but better. She's called 29 00:01:31.239 --> 00:01:35.519 her age Bima. Oh, I don't think we're gonna do that, Mitchell. 30 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:39.439 That's insensitive nowadays. Yeah. You know, if you're talking to 31 00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:41.480 me in my radio show back in twenty twenty or 32 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:45.120 twenty four oh four, I guess that's a better way 33 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:47.000 to say that. Then, Yes, I would have been all 34 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:49.840 over that. But I'm a changed man. I have a son. 35 00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:54.879 Now, iust tell your wife keep on going. She I 36 00:01:54.920 --> 00:01:56.599 think she's better than all of them. 37 00:01:56.799 --> 00:01:59.120 Yeah, she's she's really good at it. And so when 38 00:01:59.159 --> 00:02:02.519 she gets free time, like when Parker is on me sleeping, 39 00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:05.719 she's like, Okay, she goes in there and starts cooking stuff, 40 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:08.159 like she made breakfast sandwiches. I don't know why I 41 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:12.840 didn't get one this morning? What, Yeah, you didn't get one. No, 42 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:15.319 last night, it was good and she's like, I'm gonna 43 00:02:15.319 --> 00:02:18.800 freeze them and put them in this and them okay, 44 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:24.400 so yeah, and then when I get my free time, poop. 45 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:26.159 I don't. I don't know what I do in my 46 00:02:26.199 --> 00:02:28.719 free time at home, nap. 47 00:02:28.759 --> 00:02:32.439 Make fit, put videos together at it. I would create some. 48 00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:34.719 Stuff I want to do, but I don't do at home. 49 00:02:35.479 --> 00:02:40.439 Build shelves. No, that's that's me watching Parker. Oh yeah, 50 00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:42.680 got a whole new room downstairs thanks to my wife, 51 00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:46.599 which is cool. But now we had the holiday, and 52 00:02:46.680 --> 00:02:48.639 I was gonna do a podcast before the holiday talking 53 00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:51.560 about how it's so tough for people who use and 54 00:02:51.599 --> 00:02:55.759 blah blah blah, but every day is tough. Like if 55 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:58.400 you are looking for an excuse, it's snowing right now. 56 00:02:58.919 --> 00:03:02.680 I used to love get drunken look at the snow 57 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:05.199 or whatever. Apparently I like driving in it too, because 58 00:03:05.199 --> 00:03:07.560 that's when I got me DUI actually, six years ago 59 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:09.960 to this day, I was in jail for this and 60 00:03:10.039 --> 00:03:12.039 I think I just saw it was snowing and rory, 61 00:03:12.520 --> 00:03:14.000 I don't know, it was blacked out. It was crazy, 62 00:03:14.599 --> 00:03:16.439 and that's the scary part of it that woke me up. 63 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:19.280 To realize this isn't a game anymore and you're driving 64 00:03:19.319 --> 00:03:23.960 a vehicle and you don't remember it. Yeah right, I'm 65 00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:28.560 glad I don't have any STDs. It's tis looked out 66 00:03:28.599 --> 00:03:33.400 on that one. But I'm just saying excuses are everywhere. 67 00:03:33.400 --> 00:03:34.759 So if you want to look at it, like, oh, 68 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:37.919 it's the holiday, and I used to, you know, get 69 00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:41.280 really depressed and the holiday when I was drinking, because 70 00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:44.520 it's a depressant. Alcohol does that. So I don't know 71 00:03:44.520 --> 00:03:46.879 what was your guys' holiday, Like, was it pretty good? 72 00:03:46.879 --> 00:03:48.360 You talked to your brother in jail you said that 73 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:51.039 was good? Or Ever since I was a. 74 00:03:51.080 --> 00:03:55.520 Kid, Thanksgiving has had this supernatural negativity to it, and 75 00:03:55.560 --> 00:03:58.080 there was never really anything that happened on Thanksgiving because 76 00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:01.199 if somebody was sick, somebody was angry, there was an 77 00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:03.840 argument happening, something would happen. 78 00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:05.960 And this year was no different. 79 00:04:06.840 --> 00:04:11.400 I ran away from it, went and did my own 80 00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:15.000 thing with my own kid and friends, and like had 81 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:18.519 her own little family thing. But all the chaos still 82 00:04:18.519 --> 00:04:23.160 happened in my family. So, yeah, we had a fight 83 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:25.920 in the family that landed my brother in jail. 84 00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:27.839 Oh yep. We had. 85 00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:33.439 My father and his Shenanigans, drunk dialing people obviously yep. 86 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:39.000 And then the incident that I'm just gonna call the 87 00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:40.879 Brown Fridays Sale. 88 00:04:42.279 --> 00:04:43.399 I don't even have a drop for that. 89 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:47.639 I don't even know a Brown Friday sale, the Brown 90 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:55.240 Friday sale, So there was a that's a good one 91 00:04:55.240 --> 00:04:58.879 for it. All I can say is that I'm glad 92 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:00.920 that new Dad Jerry was there. 93 00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:08.199 Oh I don't know, not for that either, what no way. 94 00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:14.040 He's a repair man wizard and was able to fix 95 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:17.160 the burst pipe in the basement where the Brown Friday 96 00:05:17.160 --> 00:05:18.160 sale happened. 97 00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:21.959 And then they were able to clean it up. But 98 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:24.720 I was that was the part of. 99 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:26.439 The family that I kind of would have wanted to 100 00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:30.079 be around, But then was then glad that I wasn't 101 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:33.839 because of that because they spent like four hours cleaning 102 00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:35.399 that up on Black Friday. 103 00:05:35.959 --> 00:05:39.160 Damn. That's why I call it the Brown Fridays. Wow, 104 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:42.279 that's a pretty crappy thing to happen. 105 00:05:42.519 --> 00:05:44.199 Well, at least they were able to fix the pipes 106 00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:45.720 cheap with it being Black Friday. 107 00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:51.720 Huh time they got to sail on parts maybe yeah, 108 00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:56.240 So I don't know, but it just always is something 109 00:05:56.279 --> 00:06:00.279 always on Thanksgiving, and I got to excuse my sell 110 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:03.519 from it this year. But it's like still happening and 111 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:08.759 all that. It's good they didn't You didn't drink or anything. 112 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:11.800 You didn't use drugs or nothing. So you handled it 113 00:06:11.879 --> 00:06:13.879 like an adult, and you chose not to be a 114 00:06:13.879 --> 00:06:15.519 part of what you didn't want to be a part of. 115 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:19.079 And that is sometimes is hard for us. I'm supposed 116 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:20.759 to be there. I'm glad, da da da, you know. 117 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:22.600 And like if I go downstate to see my parents, 118 00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:25.680 you know, if my mom's tripping or something, I have 119 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:28.079 to remove myself from that situation, you know. And and 120 00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:31.439 I am deep in my sobriety now where I can 121 00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:34.040 I can do that. Well, same thing with my you know, 122 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:36.399 my dad or brother, whoever, you know, whoever wants to 123 00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:40.519 throw me off my game. I have the choice to 124 00:06:40.839 --> 00:06:44.240 either feed into that or go no, no, this isn't my problem, 125 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:46.720 this isn't my thing. I'm not even in it is. 126 00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:49.839 I'm out see you, you know, and then we preserve 127 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:53.839 our sobriety, right, That's the way I look at it. 128 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:56.600 That's what I did this year. So good for you. 129 00:06:56.800 --> 00:06:59.399 It's actually a really big part of my recovery story. 130 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:05.600 The first two holiday seasons of my recovery, I chose 131 00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:09.879 to stay away from family. I had some very supportive 132 00:07:09.959 --> 00:07:13.600 family members that were in support of my recovery, but 133 00:07:13.639 --> 00:07:16.600 I also had some very toxic family members that were 134 00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:23.040 very critical and in substance use disorder themselves, So my 135 00:07:23.079 --> 00:07:26.439 mental health was really bad back then. I decided that 136 00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:29.199 I had to stay away, and people were very critical 137 00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:33.920 of that. Some of them were supportive, but I look 138 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:37.199 back and I don't I wouldn't do it any other way. 139 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:41.240 And like you said, like it's different now, but it's 140 00:07:41.240 --> 00:07:45.639 a holiday. I can choose to have a good time, 141 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:49.360 and there are some people in my family that don't 142 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:52.480 seem to have that ability. So I'm making decisions with 143 00:07:52.560 --> 00:07:57.839 my son to go and have a good holiday. And yeah, 144 00:07:58.160 --> 00:08:03.079 so good for you man. Pivot, good pivot, But you ja. 145 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:08.399 Dog Mine was great. I couldn't asked for a better holiday. Yeah, yeah, 146 00:08:08.759 --> 00:08:11.959 really it really was. I went to my old roommate's 147 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:16.800 mom's house for Thanksgiving with his family. I can't hear 148 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:23.839 the drops, so I don't have had phones like but anyways, yeah, 149 00:08:23.879 --> 00:08:25.920 we went to his mom's house. We watched Lions game, 150 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:32.080 had a nice little meal. It was nice. I'm known 151 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:34.200 her for a couple of years now. His family like 152 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:40.080 to meet his sister and her husband, and they invited 153 00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:44.159 us out to go like fishing for charter fishing for 154 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:47.399 walleye down by Detroit. I don't like heron and stuff, 155 00:08:49.559 --> 00:08:51.879 and then went back to his house. He caught a flight. 156 00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:58.120 I gave someone a ride on Friday that was getting 157 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:01.159 out of jail, So that felt very good. I'm kind 158 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:03.639 of rewarding to be able to help someone out during 159 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:07.240 the holiday weekend because most places ain't open like that. 160 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:11.039 So and they're not going to release them to just anybody. 161 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:13.559 Sometimes they're going to treatment. They went to treatment, so 162 00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:16.799 it's like, yeah, no one else is picking his ass 163 00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:18.919 up on Black Friday, So yeah, exactly, And then that's 164 00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:20.519 why we do what we do. But that's good that, 165 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:21.720 you know, because you didn't have to do that. 166 00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:24.120 No, I mean, I could have took my four day weekend, 167 00:09:24.200 --> 00:09:27.159 but you know, I mean to give back to people 168 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:29.639 that's trying to get into the program. 169 00:09:29.879 --> 00:09:31.759 Feels very rewarding. 170 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:34.799 To have that conversation with those people because I know 171 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:36.759 what it was like when I got released from jail 172 00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:40.879 to go to treatment the nerves and everything else. And 173 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:44.639 I didn't have that someone that had already gone through treatment, 174 00:09:44.919 --> 00:09:47.000 that just that just got out of jail to go 175 00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:48.919 to treatment. Like, I didn't have that person to talk 176 00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:51.519 to on the way up. I had my mom and 177 00:09:51.600 --> 00:09:54.799 my brother, but I mean they were supportive, but at 178 00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:57.159 the same time, they didn't know what to expect, you know. 179 00:09:58.240 --> 00:09:58.679 Near did. 180 00:09:59.279 --> 00:10:02.759 My brother went, but I mean he fell right back 181 00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:04.600 off the wagon soon as he got home, you know, 182 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:07.240 so he didn't really know what to expect. And they're 183 00:10:07.240 --> 00:10:11.600 all kind of different. And then my son came up 184 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:16.440 Friday night, was able, went and got everything to do 185 00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:22.960 with Thanksgiving dinner at my house and ended up hanging 186 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.080 out with him cooking turkey and stuff on Saturday. Then 187 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:28.000 when my daughter came back up, she helped me clean 188 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:31.799 up the mess and just kind of chilled up a 189 00:10:31.799 --> 00:10:37.480 little bit Sunday night. So it's kind of peaceful, fills 190 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:40.679 with entertainment. My son's a trip to be around. 191 00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:45.200 Yeah, Yeah, that's awesome. You guys have that relationship back. Yeah, 192 00:10:45.320 --> 00:10:47.480 but you smoke her. Did you hang out with your daughter? 193 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:53.440 I did get to see my daughter for a little bit, yeah, 194 00:10:53.559 --> 00:10:55.360 kind of a holiday. 195 00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:59.960 Yeah, yeah, you don't want to talk about it, that's cool. 196 00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:05.000 I just experienced a loss, and then it was also 197 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:10.080 too just kind of more eye opening on this illusion 198 00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:15.600 that I see my family or that expectations that I 199 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:21.840 had maybe just naturally put on my family. And then 200 00:11:21.919 --> 00:11:23.919 it was also then I went down the list of 201 00:11:23.960 --> 00:11:31.480 like feeling entitlement and so just I have to be 202 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:34.679 religion of that in what I see and how I'm 203 00:11:34.679 --> 00:11:39.639 processing that, and just remember that, you know it. The 204 00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:41.919 biggest thing is is that I got to remember two 205 00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:46.279 things like I can't use over this, and that I 206 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:51.960 also like my behaviors, because then I go into really 207 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:55.519 anger and then I want to go and act a fool. 208 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:57.480 And my husband said he wouldn't bail me out of jail, 209 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:01.559 that he would leave me to cool down, and so 210 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:07.639 I just kinda I stayed real neutral, and because like 211 00:12:07.720 --> 00:12:10.080 of my attitude and where I was kind of feeling, 212 00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:13.399 I really just stayed home. 213 00:12:15.480 --> 00:12:18.799 It's chilling, and death is a tough one man. People 214 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:22.120 act weird, and it's it's weird because you can't really 215 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:24.080 tell someone how to act or how to grieve, and 216 00:12:24.120 --> 00:12:27.440 they grieve differently. Some people are angry at it. Some 217 00:12:27.480 --> 00:12:30.840 people don't want to deal with it, and they're putting 218 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:35.639 situations where they have to, and I know, like, yeah, 219 00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:36.799 it's just tough, man. 220 00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:40.279 I did have a good Thanksgiving meal though, that's good. 221 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:47.080 That's good. I had a guy reached out to me 222 00:12:47.159 --> 00:12:50.519 over the weekend too, and he's afraid to go to treatment. 223 00:12:52.559 --> 00:12:55.720 And it took me back to a day where before 224 00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.080 I went anywhere, like does this person tell me that 225 00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:00.200 I had to go or that I should go to 226 00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:02.399 this place in Grand Rapids called Pine Rest And it 227 00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:05.840 was like not really a treatment center, but it was like. 228 00:13:07.559 --> 00:13:09.440 A cold occurring place, isn't it. 229 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:12.960 Yeah, or mental health and that that really scared me. 230 00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:16.600 Going to California for the first time. I was just like, 231 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:20.039 where am I going whatever? You know, it didn't I 232 00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:22.919 don't know. Maybe I was a little afraid, I guess, 233 00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:25.360 but not really, not like it was when the mental 234 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:26.960 health one, when I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm going 235 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.399 into a place and there could be people like talking 236 00:13:29.440 --> 00:13:32.799 to walls, and there was some of that, but it 237 00:13:32.879 --> 00:13:34.720 was it was still pretty cool, like there was still 238 00:13:34.759 --> 00:13:36.879 cool people in there, and you know, a lot of 239 00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:39.080 people in there for depression. That's what I was going 240 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.399 there for so it was it was a good thing, 241 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:43.799 but I remember being really nervous and being hesitant, like 242 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:45.960 I don't want to go there, like I don't don't 243 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:49.639 think so, And especially since how I left California, is 244 00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:54.919 this dude who definitely needed to be somewhere because it 245 00:13:55.039 --> 00:13:59.120 was this puppy and yeah, and he's like no, he's 246 00:13:59.120 --> 00:14:00.720 trying to blame in his girl friend. And I'm like, 247 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:03.200 you're mad at her because she called the police. That's 248 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:06.519 what she's supposed to do, right, And you can't you 249 00:14:06.559 --> 00:14:08.320 can't hear that, you know. So I'm like, I'm out 250 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.559 of here. That dude lives above me in this duplex 251 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:14.159 that's too close. I'm out. I can't nope, nope, I 252 00:14:14.279 --> 00:14:16.399 just I got a drinking problem. You guys got other 253 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:18.240 kind of issues. I'm out. I can't stay here with 254 00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:21.399 that dude. So I left, so thinking like, now I'm 255 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:22.960 going to a place where there's gonna be a hundred 256 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:25.559 of these guys, you know, like what's going on, which 257 00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:28.840 it wasn't the case, but they go to actual treatment center. 258 00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:33.840 And if someone's afraid to do that, I could kind 259 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:37.480 of see, I guess. But at the end of the day. 260 00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:41.799 The whole addiction thing, A lot of it is about control, 261 00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:43.480 and we want to do what we want to do. 262 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:45.120 We want to go where we want to go, we 263 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:47.200 want to see who we want to see. We're going 264 00:14:47.240 --> 00:14:50.039 to buy what we want to buy because that keeps 265 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:52.600 us going. And most of it's our addiction and fuel 266 00:14:52.600 --> 00:14:55.519 by our addiction. So part of that is I'm not 267 00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:57.279 gonna be able to drink. I'm not gonna know anyone. 268 00:14:57.320 --> 00:14:59.120 I'm not gonna have any money, I'm not gonna drink. 269 00:14:59.159 --> 00:15:01.000 I can't smoke we I can't do this. I can 270 00:15:01.200 --> 00:15:03.960 not gonna know anybody. I can't smoke weed, can't drink, 271 00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:07.519 can't use anything. I'm not gonna know anybody. Nobody's gonna 272 00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:10.200 bring me home. It's way four hours up north. What 273 00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:13.600 am I gonna do? Oh my god, I can't drink, 274 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:16.759 you can't smoke weed, You don't know anybody that's gonna 275 00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:21.000 bring me back here, don't have any money. And I 276 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:23.039 think a lot of that is that you know, because 277 00:15:23.080 --> 00:15:24.440 if you think, oh, I'm gonna go in, there's gonna 278 00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:27.519 be some bad people in there. Now, you got sure 279 00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:29.519 there's bad people at the store right now that you 280 00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:32.879 pass every single day in your job, on your way 281 00:15:32.879 --> 00:15:36.919 to work, whatever. There's bad people everywhere, but majority of 282 00:15:36.919 --> 00:15:39.200 the people in treatment centers are good people. And I 283 00:15:39.399 --> 00:15:40.759 told them that. I was like, you're gonna meet some 284 00:15:41.320 --> 00:15:45.080 really cool people from all different walks of life and 285 00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:47.080 from different parts of the state, and you're gonna you're 286 00:15:47.080 --> 00:15:49.159 gonna hear their story and you're gonna go that sounds 287 00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:52.279 just like mine, and you're gonna you're gonna be able 288 00:15:52.279 --> 00:15:54.120 to relate to those people, and you're gonna not feel 289 00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:58.960 so alone. So I don't know what it's gonna happen 290 00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:01.840 of this, but I just kind of said, look to 291 00:16:01.879 --> 00:16:03.679 the person that was asking me, Hey, will you help him, 292 00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:06.519 I was like, yeah, sure, but the only thing I 293 00:16:06.559 --> 00:16:08.360 can do to help him is I can point them 294 00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:10.919 where to go, set them up. Hey, get on Medicaid, 295 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:13.399 call this, do that, call these people, don't call those people. 296 00:16:13.919 --> 00:16:16.799 You know kind of thing. He's got to want it, 297 00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:21.639 he's got to want to go somewhere, and that fear, sure, 298 00:16:21.639 --> 00:16:23.360 it's there, but you got to overcome that, and you 299 00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:26.039 got to want that change more than that fear is 300 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:28.600 making you not want to go. And if he truly 301 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:31.320 wants that change and maybe he's not there yet. This 302 00:16:32.240 --> 00:16:34.679 guy just had this first awakening, I guess you could say. 303 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:37.639 And I had my first awakening. I was the hospital 304 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:40.000 and I still came out three months later like I 305 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:44.320 can drink again, you know, like I wasn't prepared. I 306 00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:47.240 wasn't ready. No one told me about addiction. They told 307 00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:49.559 me I was an alcoholic. Yeah. 308 00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:52.759 I always asked him too, like what it okay? I 309 00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:55.279 know you're you're feeling scared of the on and on 310 00:16:55.320 --> 00:16:57.440 of going to treatment. Bo I mean, what do you 311 00:16:57.519 --> 00:17:00.840 really have to lose if you go? Yeah, try it out? 312 00:17:01.639 --> 00:17:04.200 Yeah yeah, And maybe I gave him bad advice at 313 00:17:04.200 --> 00:17:05.880 this point of it, and I'll throw it out there 314 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:08.519 to you guys. But he's like, well, I make too 315 00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:13.799 much in my job to get out of Medicaid. So 316 00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:16.839 where's your job, he told me. And I was like, okay, 317 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:21.039 we'll quit, you know, like these hospital bills are gonna 318 00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:23.480 add up, and that's gonna make you drink too, you know, 319 00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:25.839 like like seriously, and this is a job. You could 320 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:28.400 probably get back or find a better one somewhere else. 321 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:30.839 That's very, very similar. Yep. 322 00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:33.680 You hear that a lot, though. You know, I can't 323 00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:36.359 go treatment because of my job. I can't go to 324 00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:41.039 the treatment because my dog. Yeah, but my dog, yeah. 325 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:43.680 All the dogs are a good one too. I had 326 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:46.480 a guy he's probably dead now. I haven't heard from 327 00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:49.000 a long ass time, so he probably is dead, and 328 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:49.759 that's what happens. 329 00:17:50.119 --> 00:17:52.039 But I was like, dude, he was leaving treatment is 330 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:53.920 when I was working at Addiction Treatment Services, And I 331 00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:56.359 was like, she really think about sober living man, because 332 00:17:56.440 --> 00:18:00.680 you know, I know the situation going to it's empty house, 333 00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:04.839 my dog, Like, so we're living. Oh, I can't leave 334 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:08.640 my dog. Well, you're gonna die if you don't leave 335 00:18:08.680 --> 00:18:11.839 your dog. My dog's been at my mom's. Well, let 336 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.359 the dogs stay at your mom's house for another ninety days, man, 337 00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:17.039 Like do some sober living, Like hit the ground running 338 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:18.680 with this sobiety thing, man, change your life. 339 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:21.119 But it also plays into the fact, you know, if 340 00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:22.759 you can't take care of yourself, are you going to 341 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:23.079 take care. 342 00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:23.559 Of that dog? 343 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:27.440 You know, if all you're worried about drinking, you're not 344 00:18:27.480 --> 00:18:29.960 gonna go buy dog food because you're gonna go to 345 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.680 the liquor store to go get more alcohol or dope. 346 00:18:34.839 --> 00:18:37.279 You know, it doesn't matter what your vice is in life, 347 00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:40.759 your vice is gonna come first before dog food. And 348 00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:43.200 it's like these people just don't understand that, you know, 349 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:45.119 And it's just like, dude. 350 00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:46.079 You got to do this. 351 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.799 Otherwise your dog's not gonna be there to even be 352 00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:53.440 with you. It's gonna run away to go find food. 353 00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.640 But then you can always ask mom or cousin or brother, whoever, 354 00:18:57.119 --> 00:19:00.480 can you give me twenty bucks? Leeword doesn't have any food, okay? 355 00:19:00.599 --> 00:19:03.079 And then you're buying the cheap ass ninety nine percent 356 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:05.720 food and get yourself a fifth and you're on the way. 357 00:19:06.279 --> 00:19:08.440 It could be another excuse. I don't know, but it 358 00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:11.880 doesn't make It doesn't make sense. And there are people 359 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:13.839 that will take your dog or watch your dog or whatever, 360 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:17.279 you know, and if not, I don't not say it. 361 00:19:17.319 --> 00:19:23.440 But there's apps out there too. The neighborhood or something 362 00:19:24.039 --> 00:19:25.799 I don't remember. I told her neighbor about it. She 363 00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:28.000 was like, coming over here, being loud. Have you met 364 00:19:28.039 --> 00:19:32.880 the neighbor here over here? Briefly, it's loud. I don't 365 00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:34.319 remember her name, but she came up. She was loud. 366 00:19:34.359 --> 00:19:35.680 I was like, what is going on in the lobby. 367 00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:38.839 I think it starts with an her and Corey know 368 00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:41.839 each other really very smoker. Yeah, because are buddies right 369 00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:43.839 for black in the day. She's loud. Do you ever 370 00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:48.400 tell her like hey, inside voice, Yeah, you do what. 371 00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:48.640 I know? 372 00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:51.039 Her name just read at the. 373 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:55.640 Well we put her on blast. It rhymes with my name. 374 00:19:56.839 --> 00:20:02.559 I thought it was Michelle. Yeah, she loud, but she 375 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.400 came in here one day and she was talking about 376 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:06.640 this dog she's trying to get rid of or something. 377 00:20:06.759 --> 00:20:09.640 Somebody was here with me, justin and I was like, 378 00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:12.319 I remember, don't go on this app. It's neighborhood or 379 00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:15.079 the hood or I don't know, some app where you 380 00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:17.279 can post stuff on there, and people like in my 381 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:21.519 neighborhood are always like, oh, could someone shovel my driveway? 382 00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:26.039 I need some snow tires now, or we're collecting cans 383 00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:31.079 to save kids, or I don't know something that's always like, well, sorry, 384 00:20:31.079 --> 00:20:34.920 I found Bob the painter. Nice. But there are things 385 00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:37.319 down there you could put like, hey, I can't afford 386 00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:39.480 this dog, can't take care of this dog. Does anybody 387 00:20:39.480 --> 00:20:42.640 want it? They can get the word out. There's ways 388 00:20:42.680 --> 00:20:45.400 you can do it. But again, if that's your excuse 389 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:48.000 and you're holding on to it. My cat had to 390 00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:51.119 stay in a room by herself for nine months until 391 00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:53.440 I could get her back, and I well for Christmas. 392 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:54.759 One time, Mom was like, you're not gonna go see 393 00:20:54.799 --> 00:20:57.400 your cat. I said no. I was like, that will 394 00:20:57.400 --> 00:20:59.680 scar me and it'll scar her. She can already hear 395 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:01.480 my voice down here, but I don't want to see 396 00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:03.839 her because it was it was tough for me to 397 00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:06.000 do that, but I had to do that. I had 398 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:11.160 to save my life and I gave Nico what six 399 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:14.119 more good years sober. Yeah, you know, and she would 400 00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:17.720 trade that. She would she would be like may she 401 00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:20.039