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Speaker 1: Mister Bluff's experiences of holidays. I hate holidays, said bachelor

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Bluff to me with some little irritation on a Christmas

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a few years ago. Then he paused an instant, after

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which he resumed, I don't mean to say that I

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hate to see people enjoying themselves, but I hate holidays nevertheless,

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because to me they are always the saddest and dreariest

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days of the year. I shudder at the name of holiday.

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I dread the approach of one, and thank Heaven when

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it is over. I passed through on a holiday, the

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most horrible sensations, the bitterest feelings, the most oppressive, melancholy.

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In fact, I am not myself at holiday times, very strange.

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I ventured to interpose a plague on it, said he

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almost with violence. I'm not in human. I don't wish

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anybody harm. I am glad people can enjoy themselves, but

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I hate holidays all the same. You see, this is

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the reason I am a bachelor. I am without kin.

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I am in a place that did not know me

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at birth, and so when holidays come around, there is

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no place anywhere for me. I have friends, of course,

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I don't think I've been a very sulky, shut in,

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reticent fellow. And there is many a board that has

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a place for me, but not at Christmas time. At Christmas,

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the dinner is a family gathering, and I've no family.

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There is such a gathering of kindred on this occasion,

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such a reunion of family folk, that there is no

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place for a friend, even if the friend be liked. Christmas,

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with all its kindness and charity and good will, is

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after all deuced selfish. Each little set gathers within its

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own circle, and people like me, with no particular circle,

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are left in the lurch. So you see, on the

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day of all the days in the year, that my

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heart pines for good cheer, I am without an invitation.

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Oh it's because I pine for good cheer, said the bachelor,

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sharply interrupting my attempt to speak that I hate holidays.

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If I were an infernally selfish fellow, I wouldn't hate holidays.

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I'd go off and have some fun all to myself

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somewhere or somehow. But you see, I hate to be

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in the dark when all the rest of the world

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is in light. I hate holidays because I ought to

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be merry and happy on holidays, and can't. Don't tell me,

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he cried, stopping the word that was on my lips.

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I tell you, I hate holidays. The shops look merry,

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do they, with their bright toys and their green branches.

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The pam to mime is crowded with merry hearts, is it?

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The circus and the show are brimful of fun and laughter,

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are they? Well? They all make me miserable. I haven't

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any pretty faced girls or bright eyed boys to take

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to the circus or the show. And all the nice

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girls and fine boys of my acquaintance have their uncles

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or their granddads or their cousins to take them to

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those places. So if I go, I must go alone.

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But I don't go. I can't bear the chill of

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seeing everybody happy and knowing myself so lonely and desolate.

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Confound it, sir, I've too much heart to be happy

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under such circumstances. I'm too humane, sir. And the result

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is I hate holidays. It's miserable to be out, And

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yet I can't stay at home for I get thinking

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of Christmas past. I can't read the shadow of my

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heart makes it impossible. I can't walk, for I see

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nothing but pictures through the bright windows and happy groups

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of pleasure seekers. The fact is I've nothing to do

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but to hate holidays. But will you not dine with me?

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Of course I had to plead engagement with my own

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family circle, and I couldn't quite invite mister Bluff home

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that day, when cousin Charles and his wife, and sister

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Susan and her daughter, and three of my wife's kin

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had come in from the country, all to make a

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merry Christmas with us. I felt sorry, but it was

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quite impossible. So I wished mister Bluff I'm Maryry Christmas,

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and hurried homeward through the cold and nipping air. I

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did not meet Bachelor Bluff again until a week after

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Christmas of the next year, when I learned some strange

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particulars of what occurred to him after our parting on

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the occasion just described, I will let bachelor Bluff tell

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his adventure for himself. I went to church, said he,

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and was as sad there as everywhere else. Of course,

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the evergreens were pretty and the music fine, but all

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around me were happy groups of people who could scarcely

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keep down Merry Christmas long enough to do reverence to

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Sacred Christmas, and nobody was alone but me. Every happy

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patter Familias in his pew tantalized me, and the whole

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atmosphere of the play seemed so much better suited to

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every one else than me, that I came away hating

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holidays worse than ever. Then I went to the play

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and sat down in a box all alone by myself.

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Everybody seemed on the best of terms with every everybody else,

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and jokes and banter passed from one to another with

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the most good natured freedom. Everybody but me was in

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a little group of friends. I was the only person

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in the whole theater that was alone. And then there

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was such a clapping of hands and roars of laughter

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and shouts of delight at all the fun going on

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upon the stage, all of which was rendered doubly enjoyable

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by everybody having somebody with whom to share and interchange

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the pleasure, that my loneliness got simply unbearable, and I

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hated holidays infinitely worse than ever. By five o'clock, the

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holidays seemed so intolerable that I said I'd go and

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get a dinner, the best dinner the town could provide

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a sumptuous dinner for one, A dinner with many courses,

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with wines of the finest brands, with bright lights, with

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a cheerful fire, with every condition of comfort. And I'd

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see if I couldn't for once extract a little pleasure

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out of a holiday. The handsome dining room at the

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club looked bright, but it was empty. Who dines at

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this club on Christmas but lonely bachelor's. There was a

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flutter of surprise when I ordered a dinner, and the

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few attendants were, no doubt glad of something to break

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the monotony of the hours. My dinner was well served.

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The spacious room looked lonely, but the white snowy cloths,

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the rich window hangings, the warm tints of the walls,

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the sparkle of the fire in the steel grate gave

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the room an air of elegance and cheerfulness. And then

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the table at which I dined was close to the window,

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and through the partly drawn curtains were visible centers of

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lonely cold streets with bright lights from many a window.

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It is true, but there was a storm, and snow

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began whirling through the street. I let my imagination paint

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the streets as cold and dreary as it would, just

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to extract a little pleasure by way of contrast from

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the brilliant room of which I was apparently sole master.

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I dined well and recalled in fancy, old, youthful Christmases,

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and pledged mentally many an old friend, and my melancholy

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was mellowing into a low, sad undertone, when just as

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I was raising a glass of wine to my lips,

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I was startled by a picture at the window pane.

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It was a pale, wild, haggard face in a great

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cloud of black hair, pressed against the glass. As I looked,

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it vanished with a strange thrill at my heart, which

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my lips mocked with a derisive sneer. I finished the

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wine and set down the glass. It was, of course,

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only a beggar girl that had crept up to the

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window and stole a glance at the bride scene within.

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But still the pale face troubled me a little and

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threw a fresh shadow on my heart. I filled my

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glass once more with wine and was again about to

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drink when the face reappeared at the window. It was

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so white, so thin, with eyes so large, wild and

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hungry looking, and the black, unkempt hair into which the

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snow had drifted formed so strange and wearied a frame

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to the picture that I was fairly startled. Replacing untasted

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the liquor on the table, I rose and went close

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to the pane. The face had vanished, and I could

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see no object within many feet of the window. The

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storm had increased, and the snow was driving in wild

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gusts through the streets, which were empty, save here and

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there a hurrying wayfarer. The whole scene was cold, wild

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and desolate, and I could not repress a keen thrill

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of sympathy for the child, whoever it was, whose only

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Christmas was to watch in cold and storm, the rich

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banquet ungratefully enjoyed by the lonely bachelor. I resumed my

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place at the table, but the dinner was finished and

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the wine had no further relish. I was haunted by

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the vision at the window, and began, with an unreasonable

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irritation at the interruption, to repeat with fresh warmth my

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detestation of holidays. One couldn't even dine alone on a

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holiday with any sort of comfort, I declared, on holidays

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one was tormented by too much pleasure on one side

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and too much misery on the other. And then I said,

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hunting for justification of my dislike of the day, how

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many other people are like me, made miserable by seeing

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the fullness of enjoyment others possess. Oh yes, I know, sarcastically,

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replied the bachelor to a comment of mine. Of course,

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all magnanimous, generous and noble souled people delight in seeing

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other people made happy, and are quite content to accept

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this vicarious felicity. But I, you see, and this dear

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little girl, dear little girl, Oh, I forgot, said bachelor, bluff,

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blushing a little in spite of a desperate effort not

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to do so. I didn't tell you well, it was

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so absurd. I kept thinking thinking of the pale, haggard,

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lonely little girl on the cold and desolate sight of

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the window pane, and the over fed, discontented, lonely old

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bachelor on the splendid side of the window pane. And

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I didn't get much happier thinking about it. I can

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assure you I drank glass after glass of the wine,

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not that I enjoyed its flavor any more, but mechanically,

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as it were, and with a sort of hope thereby

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to drown unpleasant reminders, I tried to attribute to my

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annoyance in the matter to holidays, and so it denounced

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them more vehemently than ever. I rose once in a

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while and went to the window, but could see no

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one to whom the pale face could have belonged. At last,

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in no very amiable mood, I got up, put on

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my wrappers, and went out, And the first thing I

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did was to run against a small figure crouching in

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the doorway. A face looked up quickly at the rough encounter,

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and I saw the pale features of the window pane.

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I was very irritated and angry, and spoke harshly, and

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then all at once, I am sure, I don't know

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how it happened, but it flashed upon me that I,

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of all all men, had no right to utter a

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harsh word to when oppressed with so wretched a Christmas

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as this poor creature was. I couldn't say another word,

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but began feeling in my pocket for some money, and

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then I asked a question or two. And then I

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don't quite know how it came about. Isn't it very warm, here,

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exclaimed a bachelor Bluff, rising and walking about and wiping

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the perspiration from his brow. Well, you see, he resumed nervously.

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It was very absurd, But I did believe the girl's story,

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the old story, you know, of privation and suffering, and

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just thought I'd go home with a brat and see

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what she said was all true. And then I remembered

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that all the shops were closed and not a purchase

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could be made. I went back and persuaded the steward

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to put up for me a hamper of provisions, which

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the half wild little youngster helped me carry through the snow,

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dancing with delight all the way. And isn't this enough?

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Not a bit, mister Bluff, I must have the whole story,

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I declare, said bachelor Bluff. There's no whole story to tell.

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A widow with children in great need, that was what

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I found. And they had a feast that night, and

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a little money to buy them a load of wood

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and a garment or two the next day. And they

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were all so bright and so merry, and so thankful

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and so good that when I got home that night,

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I was mightily amazed that instead of going to bed

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sour at holidays. I was in a state of great

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contentment in regard to holidays. In fact, I was really merry.

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I whistled, I sang, I do believe I cut a caper.

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The poor wretches I had left had been so merry

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over their unlooked for Christmas banquet that their spirits infected mine.

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And then I got thinking again. Of course, holidays had

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been miserable to me. I said, what right had a

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well to do, lonely old bachelor hovering wistfully in the

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vicinity of happy circles, when all about there were so

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many people as lonely as he, and yet oppressed with want.

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Good gracious, I exclaimed to think of a man complaining

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of loneliness, with thousands of wretches yearning for his help

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and comfort, with endless opportunities for work in company, with

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hundreds of pleasant and delightful things to do. Just to

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think of it, it put me in a great fury

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at myself. To think of it. I tried pretty hard

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to escape from myself, and began inventing excuses and all

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that sort of thing. But I rigidly forced myself to

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look squarely at my own conduct. And then I reconciled

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my confidence by declaring that if ever after that day

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I hated a holiday again, might my holidays end at once? End?

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Forever did I go and see my proteges again? What

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a question? Why? Well, no matter. If the widow is

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comfortable now, it is because she has found a way

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to earn without difficulty enough for her few wants. That's

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no fault of mine. I would have done more for her,

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but she wouldn't let me. But just let me tell

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you about New Year's The New Year's Day that followed

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the Christmas I've been describing. It was lucky for me

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there was another holiday, only a week off. Bless you.

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I had so much to do that day. I was

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completely bewildered, and the hours weren't half long enough. I

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did make a few social calls, but then I heard

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them over, and then hastened to my little girl, whose

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face had already caught a touch of color, and she

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looking quite handsome in her new frock and Hurribans took

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me to other poor folk. And well that's about the

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whole story. So as to the next Christmas, well, I

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didn't dine alone. As you may guess, it was up

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three stairs, that's true, and there was none of that

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elegance that marked the dinner of the year before. But

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it was merry and happy and depright. It was a generous, honest,

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hearty Christmas dinner that it was, although I do wish

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the widow hadn't talked so much about the mysterious way

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turkey had been left at her door the night before.

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And Molly, that's the little girl, and I had a

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rousing appetite. We went to church early. Then, we had

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been down to the Five Points to carry the poor

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outcasts there something for their Christmas dinner. In fact, we

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had done wonders of work, and Molly was in high spirits,

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and so the Christmas dinner was a great success. Dear me, sir, No,

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just as you say, holidays are not in the least

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wearisome any more plague on it. When a man tells

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me now that he hates holidays, I find myself getting

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very wroth. I pin him by the buttonhole at once

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and tell him my experience. The fact is, if I

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were a dinner on a holiday and anybody should ask

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me for a sentiment, I should say, God bless all holidays,

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and of mister Bluff's Experience of Holidays by Oliver Bell

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Bun's