Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud with Ben Smith and Mike
Speaker 1: benyon Row.
Speaker 2: And they said turn the other cheek and then pull
Speaker 2: your pants back up. No, hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud,
Speaker 2: your lighthearted weekly look at the world through a slightly
Speaker 2: glittery kaleudscope. I'm Vent Smith and with me today is
Speaker 2: someone who has never been in handcuffs.
Speaker 1: It's Mike benyon Row. That's a lie. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that is a lie.
Speaker 3: That's a lie because there was that time with the police,
Speaker 3: but I wasn't under arrest.
Speaker 2: M well documented that was. And what are you bringing
Speaker 2: us this week, Mike? Yeah, anyway, I'm bringing your story
Speaker 2: about something you could say was unmanageable before getting all
Speaker 2: level with a pretty stick and crafty queen. We even
Speaker 2: have a game you can play along with as well.
Speaker 2: But on screen now you can see our contact details.
Speaker 2: It's at the Cud TV on your social media, and
Speaker 2: if you want to catch up with previous episodes, you
Speaker 2: can always binge us on YouTube looking for Chewing the Cud.
Speaker 3: And you can see the names of people have reached
Speaker 3: out and touched our souls going along the bottom of
Speaker 3: the screen.
Speaker 1: But now it's time for event and the shows. All right,
Speaker 1: showby's time? Are you ready?
Speaker 2: We're starting off with a bit of a daytime Teley classic,
Speaker 2: is it, Lorraine?
Speaker 1: No, I'm Lorraine and that's great. That's very very good, Lorraine.
Speaker 1: Thank you impression there.
Speaker 2: It's Loose Women, which okay comes a little bit later
Speaker 2: on in the morning schedule. Is that right?
Speaker 1: I think so lunchtime. It's a long time since the
Speaker 1: watch data.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, when you're ill at home, another mother asleep,
Speaker 3: or at work, that kind of talents in between.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I mean it is still going strong,
Speaker 2: I believe, even institution.
Speaker 1: So there's always like a rotating.
Speaker 3: Panel of people on it and so irritating Janet Street
Speaker 3: porta rotating Well, but maybe they're going to change the
Speaker 3: panel slightly. Linda Robson, who's being a long standing panelist,
Speaker 3: Linda off of Birds of a Feather, Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
Speaker 3: who's been on the show for quite a while.
Speaker 1: So they were a recent event. They were chatting about.
Speaker 2: How the show kind of embraces everybody, and the discussion
Speaker 2: came up about adding a trans panelists to the show,
Speaker 2: and Linda said that this would be fantastic, and Loose
Speaker 2: Women has had a history of featuring diverse range of voices,
Speaker 2: but I think even more diversity is probably a good
Speaker 2: thing in this case. And yeah, I thanks, you know,
Speaker 2: doing something like that, which is a very well known show, well,
Speaker 2: There's Linda would be a great place for Yeah, just
Speaker 2: sharing more different voices and kind of having that visibility
Speaker 2: for transgender individuals, particularly now in.
Speaker 1: The world.
Speaker 2: People in the world right a little bit we had, ye,
Speaker 2: but yeah, do you think that's I think I'd love
Speaker 2: to see it.
Speaker 1: And what I'd also like them to have is jk
Speaker 1: Rowling on at the same time.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, have fun, just battle it out, go lunch
Speaker 2: time TV exactly. Would be good ratings, I reckon, So, yeah,
Speaker 2: have some good ratings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know JK Rowling has not got much
Speaker 3: on at the minute.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Exactually you stop talking about teenage boy playing with his one.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, actually I think that's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2: I don't think they should invite jak the thought of
Speaker 2: it now, ye, but yes, but hopefully that all happens.
Speaker 2: Speaking of other shows that are with LGBTQ plus inclusion,
Speaker 2: there is a new Australian gay drama series on the
Speaker 2: Horizon this is called.
Speaker 1: Sorry Australian gay drama Neighbors with more dick. That is
Speaker 1: the tagline. It's like neighbors, but with more dick.
Speaker 2: Exactly it's called it's called Invisible Boys, and it's around
Speaker 2: way's Neighbor's still going.
Speaker 3: I think it's they're tried to bring it back because
Speaker 3: it stopped, and I think they're trying to break it back.
Speaker 1: But I've got the neighbors theme too, but instead of neighbors,
Speaker 1: it's saying something slightly offensive. Can you sing a little
Speaker 1: bit of that? For us?
Speaker 3: It's me singing, So no lawyers are literally just sat
Speaker 3: up in the No, you can't say.
Speaker 1: It's absolute side tangent on this.
Speaker 2: Here's someone from the the show that it is called
Speaker 2: Invisible Boys. So it's the Australian TV series that has
Speaker 2: guarding to critical acclaim for its authentic portrayal of LGBTQ
Speaker 2: plus themes, and it is based around the twenty seventeen
Speaker 2: same sex marriage votes in Australia. But yeah, good to
Speaker 2: see smaller shows different places. Where were you when same
Speaker 2: sex marriage came in in this country of England?
Speaker 1: So I was at home or at work.
Speaker 3: That's probably one of the two places I always little
Speaker 3: partnerships came in. I was really lucky because my one
Speaker 3: of my mum's phoned me up and went, we're going
Speaker 3: to do it. And so the day that it came in,
Speaker 3: they were the second people in their area to go
Speaker 3: for a civil partnership.
Speaker 1: And considering you know, they've been together for so long,
Speaker 1: it was quite a nice little day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they were wearing matching suits and it was
Speaker 3: all very very great joy.
Speaker 1: But that was a couple of years ago, now, yeah,
Speaker 1: a few years good now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Actually I was four when that happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm still very very young. You are still
Speaker 1: very Yes, it wasn't twenty years ago at all.
Speaker 2: I well, it came into Scotland a little bit before
Speaker 2: even in England, and I was working with LGBT Scotland
Speaker 2: at the time, so I actually helped with the campaign
Speaker 2: to make a sponsor. Working with those young people. We
Speaker 2: got to go to like the Scottish Parliament and like
Speaker 2: talk to people about it, and so it's very exciting.
Speaker 2: Your fault partly, Yes, still waiting for somebody to ask
Speaker 2: me to marry them. I'm not even talking to oh person,
Speaker 2: just anybody, any there's not somebody waiting at home, just
Speaker 2: anybody really yeah, but never mind. Maybe one day anyway,
Speaker 2: and then they can make a TV drama about that
Speaker 2: about me getting married. Okay, our final bit show busy ready, Yes,
Speaker 2: I am. This is for a film. A film it's
Speaker 2: called on Swift Horses and it's featuring Swift. It's Taylor
Speaker 2: Swift epic. Yeah, no it's not. It is about a
Speaker 2: love triangle which doesn't involve Taylor Swift. It involves Jacob
Speaker 2: Ellardy who was in what's the film with the bath?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm there going.
Speaker 2: So in this film, I don't think there's any baths,
Speaker 2: but we never.
Speaker 1: Know it is grave being shagged. Yeah, I forgot about that,
Speaker 1: but I don't know.
Speaker 2: But there is definitely a queer undertone in this as well.
Speaker 2: I mean actually less of an undertone, more like it's
Speaker 2: in the film.
Speaker 1: So let me undertone, more of a face. Let me
Speaker 1: give you the overview.
Speaker 2: So the story centers and love and got involving newlyweds Muriel,
Speaker 2: which is Daisy Edgar Jones, her husband Lee Will Polter,
Speaker 2: and then Jacob was the brother of Julius. Julius embarks
Speaker 2: in a clan Clandesteine affair with Henry Diego Calva, a
Speaker 2: charismatic gambler.
Speaker 1: He meets in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2: So I think there's a lot of like love torn
Speaker 2: people in different places. It's set in the nineteen fifties,
Speaker 2: sort of forbidden love going on in various different directions.
Speaker 2: I was reading up a little bit more about it
Speaker 2: as well, and I think also Muriel also then engages
Speaker 2: in some same sex loving as well. So yeah, kind
Speaker 2: of a bit of a portrayal of lgbt Q plus
Speaker 2: relationships in a historical setting, and the relevance today, Well, the.
Speaker 1: Twenty seventeen thing is a historical setting. That is a
Speaker 1: historical setting.
Speaker 3: Just sane, you know, Yeah, it's just well recently last
Speaker 3: week was a historical technically a period dragon.
Speaker 2: Would you what if you had to be in an
Speaker 2: LGBTQ series in a historical setting, what year would you
Speaker 2: like to be in?
Speaker 1: Decade? Nineteen twenties Berlin?
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, very specific, because that's when the Elderada was
Speaker 3: up and running right, and it was the most liberal
Speaker 3: part of German.
Speaker 1: History, even more liberal than it is now.
Speaker 3: It's a pretty liberal place now exactly, So it is
Speaker 3: the most liberal part of Germany and the most liberal club,
Speaker 3: even more.
Speaker 1: Liberal than the KitKat Club club.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they had gender recognition of how you presented while
Speaker 3: you were there, and so like the first transgender clinic,
Speaker 3: the professor was in there with his patients and stuff,
Speaker 3: and so they used it as a way of normalizing everything.
Speaker 2: Is very very I mean, that's if that's an ideal answer.
Speaker 2: I'd say that is a very good type. Is there
Speaker 2: a series or a programm about the story?
Speaker 3: There is if you watch Netflix as a thing about
Speaker 3: the Last Night the alber Ardo, which is about an
Speaker 3: hour and a half long. It tells you about the
Speaker 3: history on what was going at the time and why
Speaker 3: it stopped in Germany in the nineteen thirties, but also
Speaker 3: some links to some of the political upper echelons of
Speaker 3: the political establishment that were known to frequent that particular establishment,
Speaker 3: and that I feel like that is a twelve part series.
Speaker 3: I think they could do a full rather than a documentary,
Speaker 3: a full appic drama on.
Speaker 2: It, and you can be starring starring role had just
Speaker 2: been thet that is that is a starring role too,
Speaker 2: So that's fine, lovely well on that note, and that
Speaker 2: image in our heads that's all from the show this week.
Speaker 3: See the credits in the head of Gimp number four.
Speaker 3: But yeah, thanks for that man.
Speaker 1: You're very welcome. Mike, stay right there.
Speaker 2: As coming up after the short break, we get up
Speaker 2: to date in all sorts of things. As it's Mike
Speaker 2: in the US, welcome back, and you are watching Chewing
Speaker 2: the cud. And now we're prepare to be mildly amused
Speaker 2: by eleven minutes of innuendo as it's Mike in the bars.
Speaker 1: Amused eleven minutes. Okay, we'll try. Can you have too
Speaker 1: much of a good thing? Yes? Like what? Well, wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting Your follow question was okay, I don't know. Sweetcorn? Okay?
Speaker 1: And why just too much of it.
Speaker 2: Could cause chaos? Oh, I'll let you figure that out yourself.
Speaker 3: We all know never have Mexican food before a second date,
Speaker 3: first date, meeting for afee, just going on grind Well.
Speaker 3: This is the story about a woman who shared her
Speaker 3: experience of having too much of a good thing. Right
Speaker 3: as Rachel Taylor has opened up about her challenges right
Speaker 3: and adaptations required. Right as her boyfriend Joe Hutchins has
Speaker 3: a penis of nine and a half inches long.
Speaker 1: Right well, so she said that a penis is too
Speaker 1: big mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Right, and so she's saying she's found a way unconventional
Speaker 3: way of having sex, right, but it's weird unconventional way
Speaker 3: of having sex could be.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm imagining.
Speaker 2: Some sort of like Pulley system, strings, adaptations and ropes.
Speaker 1: No, no, she's just changed the angle she's at. Ah.
Speaker 3: Right, heterosexual woman finds out how to deal with a
Speaker 3: big cock.
Speaker 1: That's news. Apparently that's in the Metro. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Metro where it was a slow news
Speaker 3: day and we could have asked any game man how
Speaker 3: to take it nine half inches and said poppers and loube.
Speaker 3: But apparently this is news. Yeah, changing position, changing position,
Speaker 3: lots more for playing, a lot of lube, a lot
Speaker 3: of care right, going slowly to start.
Speaker 1: All right, gosh, what's going on? Groundbreaking? Absolute groundbreaking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's the thing I can't wait for, you know,
Speaker 2: novel that's going to come out, Yeah, best selling.
Speaker 3: Exactly. It's like, should go to open a sexth book
Speaker 3: every thin. So what she said is that she oversizes
Speaker 3: the importance of careful planning. So no, sweet corn, yes, okay,
Speaker 3: extended for play okay, ample lubrication right, and to open
Speaker 3: and communicate.
Speaker 1: Great, Well, it's called sex love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and as well as somebody who are
Speaker 2: having sex. You know, you do need to think about preparing,
Speaker 2: you do, you know? I feel like everybody should don't
Speaker 2: think about that prepare.
Speaker 3: They should indeed or get ready for watching the famous
Speaker 3: TV show The Joy of Painting.
Speaker 1: Anyway, but we'll move on from that conversation to swallowing.
Speaker 3: Something, okay, because she probably doesn't do that either, revolutionary.
Speaker 1: Have you ever swallowed something accidentally? No, I wasn't purpose.
Speaker 3: Planned, always requested as a kid on a bike, a
Speaker 3: flag o in your mouth? Or swallowing a bee?
Speaker 1: Have I swallowed a fly? Perhaps I'll die. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I end up eating a cow?
Speaker 2: Yeah, horse, she's dead, of course. Yes, I have swallowed
Speaker 2: a fly by mistake. Actually I ate a bee once.
Speaker 1: That was by accident. He said, was planned. The bee was.
Speaker 1: It was in my drink.
Speaker 3: And I had like proper like bee stung lips. Question
Speaker 3: drink of booze? No, no alcoholic booze.
Speaker 1: Not as a child. I just got a few years.
Speaker 1: So with your beast of lips. Oh, no, I've been
Speaker 1: stung by a bee.
Speaker 3: Anybody back to your original question, Well, it's the story
Speaker 3: about Adrian Simcas who's twenty four, who was in fact
Speaker 3: swallowed himself.
Speaker 1: By a lady called Rachel Taylor.
Speaker 3: No stroke, he's a kayaker, okay, And he was kayaking
Speaker 3: and a whale came and went.
Speaker 1: And swallowed him. Right, Yeah, it's not often that they
Speaker 1: do this. No.
Speaker 3: Oh, So while I was kayaking with his father Dell,
Speaker 3: like charaking with a computer or boy exactly, he was
Speaker 3: accidentally pulled under by the whale, right, and then basically
Speaker 3: went right. A couple of moments later, the where went
Speaker 3: oh no, you don't taste good and spat Wow.
Speaker 1: We've all been there, mister whale. Yeah no that was
Speaker 1: a mistake.
Speaker 3: So yeah, he said he's still gonna kayak. This is
Speaker 3: the gentleman himself. Oh, then suddenly got more interested in
Speaker 3: the story. Hello, yes, yeah, whales got taste. Well, they
Speaker 3: spat him out afterwards, don't tasting. So it's basically saying
Speaker 3: I'm still going to kayak. I'm someone it in the
Speaker 3: same place. The whale was just being a whale.
Speaker 1: It didn't mean any harm. It realized I wasn't supposed
Speaker 1: to be eaten, spat me out, it was alive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good story.
Speaker 2: And then I poncho listen knitted or crocheted punch from
Speaker 2: a gift from the whale. Yes, sorry it didn't work out. Yeah, see,
Speaker 2: let's be friends.
Speaker 1: Is it going to be that? The way away of that?
Speaker 1: No noise afterwards, lower tone of that. Oh you speak well? Yes, useful? Cool?
Speaker 3: And if you've accidentally been swallowed by a big beast,
Speaker 3: why don't share that with us?
Speaker 1: We are at the TV on social media.
Speaker 3: I know it's mammal technically, but that brings us to
Speaker 3: our story of the week. Now, we have talked about
Speaker 3: the perils of a penis that's too large, and how
Speaker 3: hetrosexual women don't know what douche is Wiping your bottom.
Speaker 3: I'm just going to go straight in right, yeah, well
Speaker 3: with do you have a preferred way of whiting wiping
Speaker 3: your bottom? It's gonna be like a back to front situation,
Speaker 3: back to front, front to back, side to side, random round.
Speaker 1: I like to spin on a toilet roll.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know how to answer this question,
Speaker 2: very showing you I'm not going to do it on
Speaker 2: television again from the.
Speaker 3: Front front to back to back. I think sack to crack. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well that's wrong.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't do that.
Speaker 3: Then it's bad, naughty, wrong, well, very naughty. This is
Speaker 3: a story from doctor even Goldstein who said, you shouldn't
Speaker 3: wipe either direction.
Speaker 1: Right, name shouldn't wipe it all? You should you should
Speaker 1: dab oh dabbing.
Speaker 3: You should dab right and with a dry piece of tissue,
Speaker 3: not a not a wet wipe. Right, And he said,
Speaker 3: because a round the backside apparently there's very sensitive tissue.
Speaker 1: You knew this, but it.
Speaker 3: Doesn't move properly, so it doesn't stretch and contract, right,
Speaker 3: it's wrinkled, right, So when you do that, he actually
Speaker 3: encourages tearing. So you should should dab dab yeah.
Speaker 2: Or get a he did, the day is best today,
Speaker 2: the day you can use, of.
Speaker 3: Course a shower as well. Just douche there at that point, right,
Speaker 3: leg up on the bath.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I guess if you're at home, that's fine,
Speaker 2: but you know, not in public, in public exactly.
Speaker 3: Well, while ago I went on holiday to Turkey and
Speaker 3: they have built in b days in the toilet, which
Speaker 3: I thought was brilliant.
Speaker 1: Sat on the toilet and just turn a.
Speaker 3: Tap and it just just don't even need to move, right,
Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting it to actually be that.
Speaker 1: Know, what's this do? That's what that does? Exactly pleasantly,
Speaker 1: he said.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a gentle blotting, A gentle blotty little blotting, which
Speaker 3: I think should be the autobographer.
Speaker 1: A gentle blotting sounds like a new interior design technique.
Speaker 3: We've had rag rolling now doing a gentle blotting only
Speaker 3: in brown homes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also expressive.
Speaker 3: Wet wipes encourage chafing, right, okay, and of course they've
Speaker 3: got environmental issues behind.
Speaker 1: It as well.
Speaker 2: Indeed, yeah, well so we're still get a little Turkish toilet.
Speaker 3: Attachment Turkish, it's not attachment's built into the toilet.
Speaker 1: A Turkish toilet should always all have those. It's a
Speaker 1: brilliant idea. Okay, what's a plumbing now to bring on
Speaker 1: back when you're because no, no, I have that much luggage.
Speaker 3: Getting duty free like that was bags and loose we
Speaker 3: all go with in my duty free a massive toboro
Speaker 3: four hundred fags, two hundred fags and one leader of
Speaker 3: spirits or wine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's often the buzz this week.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you very much for all of that buzz.
Speaker 2: I will definitely do a light blotting you won't and
Speaker 2: I'll think of you when I blot.
Speaker 3: Don't want to say about that, But don't go anywhere
Speaker 3: because coming up after this, we have a game for
Speaker 3: you to play with in our game of the week.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Tuning the Cud with Me, Ben Smith
Speaker 2: and Mike, Ben and Rowe. Now this part of the
Speaker 2: show is where we play a lovely game, and this
Speaker 2: one is for the person who you once purposefully use
Speaker 2: Tiger Bam in Sexy Time.
Speaker 1: It's Mike Pop. Should I annoyed me? Should? They told them?
Speaker 1: Don't get me angry.
Speaker 3: You don't like me when I'm angry all the week.
Speaker 1: Okay, so game time, we're going to be playing Lazy.
Speaker 2: Susan question Roulette. I believe I'm going to be getting
Speaker 2: some questions asked to me. Can you just explain a
Speaker 2: little bit what what categories have gotten this Lazy Susan?
Speaker 1: Mike?
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, I have TV trivia, music trivia, general knowledge
Speaker 3: or sport.
Speaker 1: Great. I love the spinning action as well. Yeah it's great.
Speaker 1: I mean what we've done.
Speaker 3: Here is we've taken something that is designed to make
Speaker 3: cake easier to get hold of and made it ugly
Speaker 3: and less useful for cake.
Speaker 1: Well you know, but more fun for us. Cake on it?
Speaker 1: Spin the cake anyway? First question? Actually cake there right now? Okay,
Speaker 1: TV Trivile is the first one. Okay, okay?
Speaker 3: How many children does Coronation Streets Sally Webster have we?
Speaker 1: Webster? Oh, Sally Webster thousands?
Speaker 2: No, wait a minute, now, I might actually because my
Speaker 2: parents loved Cornation Sheet, love Cornation Sheet still, and so
Speaker 2: I was gonna subject to it quite a bit when
Speaker 2: I was growing up, and I took them to the
Speaker 2: Coronation Street Experience in Manchester wins can visit me and
Speaker 2: they attended. They didn't absolutely love it, but you every
Speaker 2: single thing. So if I could call a friend right now,
Speaker 2: I would call them as something.
Speaker 1: Can I do that? No? Okay, this is not that show.
Speaker 3: Bizarre?
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's what's his face?
Speaker 3: Next?
Speaker 1: Jeremy Clarks Now.
Speaker 3: Okay, right, So, Sally Webster, how many children has she had?
Speaker 2: In the.
Speaker 1: Now? Which one Sally so married to a husband called mine? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think I get her and Gail Plat next, couple
Speaker 1: of it. So it's not Gail. So I'm gonna say three. Okay, two,
Speaker 1: so you're well one off? Yeah, what's one? It's one?
Speaker 1: Labor too many? There we got.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Sport great, love it love sport good? Which Formula one
Speaker 3: driver lost his father? Also a driver in a plane crash.
Speaker 1: That's Chirpie David cool tards they get right, No, Damien Hill.
Speaker 1: But you got very excited that you thought, well, I
Speaker 1: just knew a name, your words that might be related
Speaker 1: to cars.
Speaker 3: What's what's the what's the Lewis Hamilton?
Speaker 1: Is he the one there is Lewis Hamilton? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he exists.
Speaker 3: Okay, I do have a sport question for in a bit,
Speaker 3: so I see if the sport question comes up.
Speaker 1: No, it's TV TV. No coffee in TV, just TV. Okay.
Speaker 3: Who played Alf Garnet in sitcoms Till Death Does Part
Speaker 3: and in Sickness and in health?
Speaker 1: Who know what now? Jim Jimmy, Jimmy Jim Davidson.
Speaker 3: No, it's Warren Mitchell. Right, Yeah, it's dead now Yeah,
Speaker 3: flan of Us work next one?
Speaker 1: Oh music? Mm hmm. Okay.
Speaker 3: Who had a hit with the theme tune from TV
Speaker 3: drama Minder.
Speaker 1: He wrote the theme tune, sang the theme tune? Is
Speaker 1: the theme tune? Who had a hit with it? Uh?
Speaker 2: Huh, Phil Collins, I don't. I don't really know what
Speaker 2: mind her as?
Speaker 3: Sorry, Dennis Waterman. Did you have watch Little Britain when
Speaker 3: it was on?
Speaker 2: I have?
Speaker 1: I have watched Little Britain. I write the theme tune,
Speaker 1: sing the theme tune. Yeah, yeah, that's what.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Doude you bed you.
Speaker 1: H TV?
Speaker 2: Okay, I do. I'm doing better in TV. I don't
Speaker 2: think I've got any right, have I?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Who narrates the children's show? Who narrates the children's show
Speaker 3: in the Night Garden? David Williams, Derek Jacoby?
Speaker 1: Do you know who Derek Jacoby is? He was? Did
Speaker 1: you ever watch Vicious with Ian McKellen. Uh?
Speaker 4: Yes, I have watched that.
Speaker 1: Then it's not Ian McKellen, it's the other one, right, okay?
Speaker 1: He was has a GotY beard. Yes.
Speaker 3: He was also the master in Doctor Who when he
Speaker 3: was Doctor Yanna. Yes, and reads the Night Garden and
Speaker 3: now it reads in the Night Garden.
Speaker 1: Hello, Macapacker and Igle Piggle you should be reading it?
Speaker 3: No, because I'd said dirty things and here's Macapacker with
Speaker 3: his cub blanket. Is it No, it's you could piggle
Speaker 3: it as a complanke, I'm not sure. Upsy days falls
Speaker 3: over load, upsy days sho shoves are asked and yeah.
Speaker 1: Sport mm hmm great, well okay, bring it on. This
Speaker 1: has changed the question what animal is?
Speaker 3: Also what word for an animal is also used for
Speaker 3: a piece of sporting equipment.
Speaker 1: That's three letters begins in a B. Is it a bat?
Speaker 3: It is, because there's no way you're going to understand
Speaker 3: that legendary darts commentator is a carry bridge graduate as well.
Speaker 1: No, no, not thank you. That's okay. We're allowing me
Speaker 1: to get one. You've got a sport question, right, I know,
Speaker 1: look at me. I know, so sporty matcie girl.
Speaker 3: General knowledge because it man sports and I'm not having
Speaker 3: to this is a sport question. Sport is not who
Speaker 3: was sacked as Newcastle United managing January two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1: Why is that? In general knowledge?
Speaker 3: I was a Marina Marino, Sam Allardyce. But your actual question,
Speaker 3: because this is actual general knowledge, is when did the
Speaker 3: Falklands War end?
Speaker 1: Was it nineteen eighty one, nineteen eighty two or nineteen
Speaker 1: eighty three, eighty one you know eighty two? Sorry? What
Speaker 1: was the reason for the Falcons war? The UK? The UK?
Speaker 1: Be in the UK?
Speaker 3: Margaret actually wanted some some positive.
Speaker 1: Spin on the premission music. What was that's favorite pop song?
Speaker 3: Yes, singer slash songwriter Badly Drawn Boy composed and performed
Speaker 3: the soundtrack for which.
Speaker 1: Film about a boy? It was about a boy? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well don't you know that? How did you know?
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 1: Weirdly? Badly drawn boy came up recently?
Speaker 2: In like a pub quiz I was at and I
Speaker 2: had this discussion and I think he is from Oldham?
Speaker 1: Yes, there you.
Speaker 2: Go, fee the facts and about a boy I'm spending Okay,
Speaker 2: do you know what anymore?
Speaker 1: I started and about boy? I was the boy and
Speaker 1: about boy? No you weren't.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't it because the bad news about that
Speaker 3: boy and about a boy Nicholas Holt, Yeah, who grew up?
Speaker 1: Hot mm hmm that's bads. It is because he was
Speaker 1: a child.
Speaker 2: Right, Well that's the time. I don't care age aging it.
Speaker 3: Just it feels wildly inappropriate music trivia and I pulled
Speaker 3: out of TV trivia.
Speaker 1: I think just think about.
Speaker 3: Which David Bowie album features the track Life on Mars
Speaker 3: and changes changing the name of the album.
Speaker 1: If you want a clue, I can give you a clue.
Speaker 1: Give me a clue.
Speaker 3: Everything is, everything is great two words, everything is okay,
Speaker 3: everything is I think muscle can.
Speaker 1: Everything is big and hot, honky dory everything only story.
Speaker 1: I thought there was just a song called Conky Joy. Okay,
Speaker 1: general knowledge.
Speaker 3: M We're going to see if this works. In which
Speaker 3: country was homewhere stoor Ikia founded.
Speaker 1: Founded in.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to say Denmark.
Speaker 1: I mean, I want to say Sweden, but I feel
Speaker 1: it was like a trick. So what do you think
Speaker 1: it is? Well, either of those two answers, try again
Speaker 1: without saying the word Denmark, Sweden, Sweden. That's the one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well done.
Speaker 2: Well, I think I was very successful in that. But
Speaker 2: there's probably enough of that now. So coming up after
Speaker 2: the short break, we get our craft on in Crafty Queens,
Speaker 2: Welcome back. You're still watching Mike and Vent and cheering
Speaker 2: the cards. Now we learn how to regret eleven minutes
Speaker 2: of life as it's time for Crafty Queens.
Speaker 3: So I have given you three I'm going to say
Speaker 3: the word ingredients, every things okay, and with these three things,
Speaker 3: we're going to create something that it's.
Speaker 1: Going to keep and save for minute.
Speaker 3: Great, okay, So first of all, you want to just
Speaker 3: take one sheet of paper, one sheet of paper okay, okay,
Speaker 3: and this is a full paper, a four paper, a
Speaker 3: full paper, and you want to make this into why
Speaker 3: do we say that a four paper? You want to
Speaker 3: make this into a square?
Speaker 1: Okay? Now do you know the way? Do you know
Speaker 1: how to make it? Please pay for a paper. Tell
Speaker 1: me the secret. Cut a bit off to.
Speaker 3: Make it square, right right, So the easiest way of
Speaker 3: doing it is to gently put make the two edges
Speaker 3: flat like that, and then just mark the edge where
Speaker 3: you want to cup.
Speaker 1: You don't fold the paper because over in the road
Speaker 1: what you want to do Okay. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be a perfect square, but it does help if it is.
Speaker 1: You know, affection is the killer of something. What this
Speaker 1: affection is?
Speaker 3: That is that the pursuit of borg everywhere. So this
Speaker 3: gives you a little strip of paper here, okay, that
Speaker 3: you want to discard.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Now with the square of paper, okay, we're going to
Speaker 3: do some intricate folding, okay, okay, So you want to
Speaker 3: take your you don't have it in this diamondy shape, yes, okay,
Speaker 3: with a point. And you want to take that first
Speaker 3: point that's closest to you, yes, and pull it up
Speaker 3: to the middle of the point the paper, Yes, okay,
Speaker 3: and then give it a fold.
Speaker 1: M thunderbar.
Speaker 3: The next thing you want to do is take that
Speaker 3: that new flat edge okay, and fold that up to the.
Speaker 1: Points that you just made. What is the point you've
Speaker 1: just made.
Speaker 3: The little I know what you were doing and I'm
Speaker 3: not going to partake.
Speaker 1: And then you want to do the same thing again,
Speaker 1: so that the last.
Speaker 3: Edge that's closest to you up towards the edge you've
Speaker 3: just made.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So now you've got this, what you want to do
Speaker 3: is you want to fold it into a circle, okay
Speaker 3: and tuck your points into each other.
Speaker 1: I like that, Yes, the points in on each other. Yes, okay.
Speaker 3: Now is time for a little bit of your tape, right, Okay,
Speaker 3: We're going to fix the points together.
Speaker 1: Otherwise it just does that they were does it? So
Speaker 1: fixing fixing the points together with a little bit of tape.
Speaker 1: We have a little bit of tape. We can do
Speaker 1: the night I say, what was that you were saying?
Speaker 1: We have a little better tape night. With a little
Speaker 1: bit of luck, we can make it through the night.
Speaker 1: I don't anyone just me, no, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Not putting? I don't recommend putting the tape.
Speaker 3: Of these faces get When the gallery talk, we tend
Speaker 3: to ignore them at this point because they are just talking.
Speaker 1: Filth, gaff tape, whispering about.
Speaker 3: I'm having a slight solid tape issue here.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, I mean i've I'm I'm finished, completed.
Speaker 1: While you're not completed. You're just gonna stem.
Speaker 4: Is this it?
Speaker 1: That's not it. No, it's like a little crime. It's
Speaker 1: not and it would be a miter.
Speaker 5: It's not.
Speaker 3: Sorry getting your head you because I had to sell
Speaker 3: a tape issue, very sticky tape issue, all right, so
Speaker 3: in on itself like that.
Speaker 1: It would help. But you're in a very far away studio.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm not.
Speaker 3: Small and far away, right, So now this needs to
Speaker 3: be as close to a circle as you can get it.
Speaker 3: So it's just go around it and just rub it.
Speaker 3: That will break some of the potentially a little.
Speaker 1: Bit mm hmm. Rub the circle, rub the ring. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 3: You always need to make sure that you're releasing the.
Speaker 1: Circular ring, so I put my fist through.
Speaker 3: You can do if you want it to be. It's
Speaker 3: a bit like a wonder woman. Okay, So put that's
Speaker 3: one side for a moment, right. You want another sheet
Speaker 3: of paper, yes, okay, and this this time. You want
Speaker 3: to take the sheet of paper and fold it in half.
Speaker 4: This way m lengthways yes, mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: And then open it up and then fold your flat
Speaker 3: into the fold you're just made for, right, Okay. I
Speaker 3: want that crest to be very sharp it since christ is.
Speaker 2: When my dad tried to bit creases in my jeans
Speaker 2: when I was on a school in the nineties.
Speaker 1: That was a thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, ayay, Now you want you want to cut the
Speaker 3: middle piece off, cut it off, cut it off.
Speaker 6: Okay, h mm hm. So you know that's a little
Speaker 6: a little flappy bit of fold flat okay. Now with
Speaker 6: the closed end facing towards the point of the spherey thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to attach it like that for the
Speaker 1: bit of.
Speaker 3: Take okay, h.
Speaker 1: M hmm, like that like that a bitter take.
Speaker 2: To m hmmmmmm.
Speaker 3: Okay, you want to try and get as close to
Speaker 3: the middle as you can, yes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, Okay, now what do you think You've just.
Speaker 1: Created the uh uh a crin crown heads piece?
Speaker 3: Okay, very close but also very far away.
Speaker 1: You ready?
Speaker 3: Yeah, in coming, that didn't work. It's supposed to fly
Speaker 3: like an aeroplane.
Speaker 1: Side try mind tryrs Okay, are you ready?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It is a nice dance of what Yes, that's what's
Speaker 1: supposed to happen about summer assaulting.
Speaker 3: No, it's supposed to what's supposed to happen is the
Speaker 3: flappy bits are supposed to do this like little bend
Speaker 3: thing and it's supposed to gracefully.
Speaker 1: Fly down right. But that didn't happen though, No, And
Speaker 1: you know why that is because you.
Speaker 3: Ruined it because I get them from five minute Crafts.
Speaker 1: Don't remember.
Speaker 3: If you can't get anything any virgin or anything in between,
Speaker 3: you've probably just tried to do something for five minute
Speaker 3: Crafts and been a crafty queen. So they fly in
Speaker 3: like that they see.
Speaker 1: You're making a hat.
Speaker 2: I do think it looks quite good as a hat
Speaker 2: actually fetching. Yeah, just stick it to my head.
Speaker 1: Well, you've actually got hair. I do have a small
Speaker 1: bit of hair that's not gonna work. Cell tips will
Speaker 1: work on it. Okay, I just all right. Actually mm hmm.
Speaker 1: See it's like the Olympic flame and hat form. There
Speaker 1: you go, oh, there you go, there you go.
Speaker 3: Whoever whoever said things don't work?
Speaker 1: Well? Yeah, So do you have any gigs and things
Speaker 1: coming up? Not after this show? No, I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hear cancelations coming. I did have some coming up.
Speaker 2: I am going to be playing in London a couple
Speaker 2: of times on the particular venue, the Rising New Queer
Speaker 2: Pub in the south Elphant Castle.
Speaker 1: It's sup placed to be people. What it dates is
Speaker 1: out on your social media. Social media will give you
Speaker 1: all the details.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, where I'm when to be and yeah, but
Speaker 2: I hope I hope for some more up north.
Speaker 3: At some point as well. Okay, happy with being in
Speaker 3: London too, perfect, wonderful. Well that's almost the end of
Speaker 3: the show for now. But on screen you can see
Speaker 3: all of our contact information. We are at the Coude
Speaker 3: TV on social media, and of course, if you want
Speaker 3: to catch up with previous episodes you Cold as Bingos
Speaker 3: on YouTube look for Chewing the Could.
Speaker 1: Thank you for watching and we will see you all
Speaker 1: very soon. Bye bye,