Speaker 1: Andenogy cancel so High Ecstasy, sag Cancelgema.
Speaker 2: It's not Sorryogy. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we
Speaker 2: doing today? If you're hearing this episode, then you are
Speaker 2: meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's
Speaker 2: Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, Baby Girl,
Speaker 2: We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling
Speaker 2: our most empowered positive bitch self. That is Babe in
Speaker 2: true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome who
Speaker 2: we are not so we can fully step into exactly
Speaker 2: who we came here to be. Today, we are going
Speaker 2: to talk about how to go from miserable to magnetic,
Speaker 2: how to d center all of the limiting beliefs we
Speaker 2: have about day and put ourselves back on the pedestal,
Speaker 2: and how to remember the truth about others in relation
Speaker 2: to the self. I think a lot of us experience
Speaker 2: dating burnout because we don't use our divine feminine power.
Speaker 2: I think we are dropping our standards and our boundaries,
Speaker 2: ignoring red flags and then getting mad that we didn't
Speaker 2: read the writing on the wall. When people show us
Speaker 2: exactly who they've been telling us that they were, there
Speaker 2: are going to be many different people you experience that
Speaker 2: teach you many different lessons. How we cultivate meaning around
Speaker 2: those lessons will dictate how we feel. I'm going to
Speaker 2: give you tips and tricks today on how to get
Speaker 2: back into your magnetic energy so you don't allow other
Speaker 2: people outside of you to control your mood, your feelings,
Speaker 2: your day, your life. Because true being magnetic means that
Speaker 2: we are in control of ourself. We are connected to ourselves,
Speaker 2: not connected to the limiting beliefs and narratives that the
Speaker 2: world wants us to believe are true. Before we get
Speaker 2: into it, a couple of announcements. If you have not
Speaker 2: yet joined Shadow Alchemy, you definitely want to join this course.
Speaker 2: It is so powerful to finally take a stand over
Speaker 2: your own life and take your power back, release the shame,
Speaker 2: the limiting identities that other people have projected onto you.
Speaker 2: If you're ready to magnetize towards you a better timeline,
Speaker 2: if you're ready to fully step into your authentic self,
Speaker 2: if you're ready to attract better people and opportunities, then
Speaker 2: the Shadow Alchemy course is absolutely for you. There is
Speaker 2: dynamic video lessons, there's an act devation through somatic healing,
Speaker 2: also a meditation. You know I give you affirmations and
Speaker 2: journal prompts and so much more. This link will be
Speaker 2: in the show notes. If you're not yet following me
Speaker 2: on Instagram at Vibe with CC, be sure to follow
Speaker 2: me there. And of course, if you've not yet gotten
Speaker 2: your copy of Show Up as Her, you can also
Speaker 2: find these links in the show notes. If you are
Speaker 2: wanting one on one guidance, I am a certified life
Speaker 2: and energy coach and I do offer one on one coaching.
Speaker 2: You can reach out to me on Instagram, send me
Speaker 2: over a DM and I will respond back to you there. Now,
Speaker 2: let's get into today's topic, because come on, my shirt
Speaker 2: says yeha. So I just know it's going to be
Speaker 2: a good episode. Someone asked, because I said on an
Speaker 2: Instagram story, choose what chooses you? Someone asked, choose what
Speaker 2: chooses you?
Speaker 1: Back?
Speaker 2: Yes, Can you focus on this more? I think it
Speaker 2: could be helpful for a lot. I feel like I
Speaker 2: may be in a breadcrumbing situation, but also can't tell
Speaker 2: if this is just a normal early casual dating communication
Speaker 2: and I'm being needy or putting too many expectations on things.
Speaker 2: It's so hard casually dating to find your partner oh,
Speaker 2: I hear you. So just a little bit of information
Speaker 2: on me. I was in a seven year ish relationship
Speaker 2: and I've now been single for six months, and oh
Speaker 2: my god, I'm loving life. I have to be honest,
Speaker 2: I am loving it now. I've only been single for
Speaker 2: six months. And I understand some of us are like,
Speaker 2: I've been single for six years. Okay, all right, bitch,
Speaker 2: tell me how I'm supposed to be happy about that. Look,
Speaker 2: I get it. We're gonna talk about it. Okay, we're
Speaker 2: gonna untangle it all. So when I got out of
Speaker 2: my relationship, I went from someone texting me good morning
Speaker 2: every single morning. I went from the security of knowing
Speaker 2: this is my person to now, whoa, I'm in this
Speaker 2: dating pool with a bunch of randoms. Who are you people?
Speaker 2: And what are the rules? Again? And I found myself
Speaker 2: in a similar situation, like, oh my god, they're not
Speaker 2: texting me good morning every single morning. I don't understand
Speaker 2: what is going on? Do they like me? Do they not?
Speaker 2: I don't really get this dynamic. So here's my answer
Speaker 2: for what's considered normal after six months. This is what
Speaker 2: I found. Number One, it depends on who the person
Speaker 2: is because I've had people who I was just getting
Speaker 2: to know and they were texting me a paragraph good
Speaker 2: morning and positive affirmations every single day. That was how
Speaker 2: they communicated. Then I've had people who I was getting
Speaker 2: to know, who I've hung out with, and they also
Speaker 2: were so much about me when we were together, and
Speaker 2: when we did talk on the phone or something, they
Speaker 2: were very interested in the conversation, asking me a million questions.
Speaker 2: I could tell they were into me, but they didn't
Speaker 2: text me every single day, and they weren't sending me
Speaker 2: a paragraph every single morning. So the number one thing
Speaker 2: we have to understand is different people have different communication styles.
Speaker 2: To know thyself is the golden key. You have to
Speaker 2: know what you want and what you need, because what
Speaker 2: you want and what you need you can absolutely have.
Speaker 2: There are people who have similar communication styles to you,
Speaker 2: but it's just up to you to know what is
Speaker 2: it that I really want a need for me personally,
Speaker 2: it sounds good as a concept to have someone texting
Speaker 2: me a paragraph of affirmations every single morning, and it
Speaker 2: was nice. However, I found it to be a lot.
Speaker 2: I prefer my partner to be busier. I don't want
Speaker 2: them to have that much time that they can send
Speaker 2: me a huge paragraph every single morning reciting parables from
Speaker 2: the Bible. I okay, great energy, but I just think
Speaker 2: as a man, as a grown man, adult, as an
Speaker 2: adult man specimen. I would really hope you have other
Speaker 2: things going on that you don't have the time to
Speaker 2: do that. For me, that was a lot, but maybe
Speaker 2: for someone else they would like. You know what, I
Speaker 2: wish I could do everyone who I meet who I'm like, uh,
Speaker 2: I'm not really into this. I kind of just want
Speaker 2: to like post them onto my Instagram and be like, Okay, everyone,
Speaker 2: here are the attributes this person has. This is what
Speaker 2: they look like. Who wantsome.
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: I would love to do that because I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm meeting amazing men. They're just not for me. I'm
Speaker 2: just not really, I don't know, not inspired. So that's
Speaker 2: why I'm not in a relationship yet. But I do
Speaker 2: wish I could just share them with you guys and
Speaker 2: be like, Hello, does anyone want this person? Do I
Speaker 2: do that one day, like a little mini matchmaking series.
Speaker 2: We'll think about this anyway. So she's asking are bread
Speaker 2: crumbing me? Or is this normal? Let me tell you
Speaker 2: what I personally think is normal. You start talking to someone,
Speaker 2: whether you meet them at a bar or on a
Speaker 2: dating app, and you text a couple of times a week.
Speaker 2: That is probably how it's gonna be for the first
Speaker 2: couple of weeks, Like week one, then you hang out once,
Speaker 2: Week two, you hang out once, Week three, you hang
Speaker 2: out once. Probably around week four you're hanging out once
Speaker 2: to twice, and you're gonna start texting more, not just
Speaker 2: a couple of times a week, but maybe like most
Speaker 2: of the week, there should be some sort of phone
Speaker 2: call in. There doesn't have to be every day, but again,
Speaker 2: it depends on you and that person. I've had situations
Speaker 2: where I didn't even meet them yet because I met
Speaker 2: them off of an app and they were calling me
Speaker 2: every single day and we would be on the phone
Speaker 2: for like an hour. Then I had other situations where
Speaker 2: I actually liked the person more and we only talked
Speaker 2: a couple of times during the week, but we would
Speaker 2: have amazing dates. When you're casually dating, I don't think
Speaker 2: it's necessary that you talk to this person for three
Speaker 2: hours every single day. I think it kind of, I
Speaker 2: don't know, like takes away the magic. You're just getting
Speaker 2: to know this person and you're never gonna have this
Speaker 2: season ever again, where you're just getting to know them.
Speaker 2: Eventually you're gonna know everything about them, like they are
Speaker 2: the back of your hand. So really revel in the
Speaker 2: season and respect the season for what it is. This
Speaker 2: is a season of you getting to know them. So
Speaker 2: if for the first month you're talking a couple of
Speaker 2: times a week and at least hanging out once a week,
Speaker 2: that's fine. The second month, maybe you're hanging out once
Speaker 2: or twice a week, but you're talking more. What I
Speaker 2: would say you want to look out for is every
Speaker 2: time you end a date, is there an another date
Speaker 2: lined up? Are they saying I want to see you
Speaker 2: again and planning it, because those are all green flags.
Speaker 2: Green flags are texting a couple times a week or more,
Speaker 2: seeing each other once a week at first or more,
Speaker 2: but always making sure that this person is saying and
Speaker 2: I want to see you again and putting it on
Speaker 2: the calendar. I have to be honest. I'm not someone
Speaker 2: who's like I hate men, I love men, I love women,
Speaker 2: I love everyone. There are good and bad people across
Speaker 2: the board. That's just life. When a man wants to
Speaker 2: see you again, it's very obvious he tells you men
Speaker 2: are not complex creatures. They really aren't. Women are complex.
Speaker 2: We are complex. We are decoding everything we're thinking about yesterday,
Speaker 2: tomorrow and the present moment. We are much more complex creatures.
Speaker 2: We are drawing connections where maybe there really aren't any.
Speaker 2: Men are really simple. If they like you, you will
Speaker 2: know they will call you, they will text you, they
Speaker 2: will make a plan to see you. These men who
Speaker 2: never actually make a solid plan to see you are
Speaker 2: just using you for entertainment, unplug or their avoidance or
Speaker 2: who cares. It doesn't matter. If they're not sending a
Speaker 2: date to see you, it's not real. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: I don't know if I said this. The amount of
Speaker 2: men who are like you are my wife and then
Speaker 2: show no action that I am their wife is astonishing.
Speaker 2: I didn't know this is how men spoke to women now.
Speaker 2: They just tell you they want to marry you off
Speaker 2: the bat, but then do no action in accordance to that.
Speaker 2: Words really don't matter. If their words align with their
Speaker 2: action and both are good, then fine. But words don't matter.
Speaker 2: Look for action. Are they calling you? Are they texting you?
Speaker 2: Are they planning a date? You'll know they're breadcrumbing you
Speaker 2: if they're never planning to actually see you, and if
Speaker 2: they're not seeing you at least once a week, I
Speaker 2: don't care how busy someone is. I know men who
Speaker 2: are in very high powered, high stress jobs, and they
Speaker 2: are texting or calling their women in between meetings. They're
Speaker 2: checking in with their family in between meetings. That is
Speaker 2: be as if they try to tell you anything besides that.
Speaker 2: I also think if you're dating someone and you want
Speaker 2: it to go somewhere and you're not getting enough communication,
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with saying something. The squeaky wheel gets
Speaker 2: the grease. I was dating someone who would text me
Speaker 2: a couple of times a week, but we were getting
Speaker 2: to a point where I needed more communication if he
Speaker 2: wanted me to like him. Because here's the thing. You
Speaker 2: really are the prize as the divine feminine. If people
Speaker 2: want to say that's not the truth, Okay, die mad,
Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you. That's the truth.
Speaker 2: You are the prize. You are the portal to other dimensions.
Speaker 2: You are what makes a house a home. You really
Speaker 2: bring energy into a divine masculine life that other masculine
Speaker 2: energies cannot bring. Okay. The way I think about it,
Speaker 2: and this is a mindset shift. This is a magnetic
Speaker 2: mindset shift for you to adopt, to go from miserable
Speaker 2: to magnetic. This is what I want you to think.
Speaker 2: This is not about me needing this person to do
Speaker 2: or text me or say something. If they want me
Speaker 2: to like them, they need to pursue me. They need
Speaker 2: to court me. They need to make me interested in them.
Speaker 2: Because here's the thing. This person wasn't really texting me
Speaker 2: or calling me. And I literally told him, look, if
Speaker 2: you want me to like you, you have to put
Speaker 2: an effort in communication or else I don't really remember
Speaker 2: that you exist. And I didn't say it exactly like that.
Speaker 2: I just said, we rarely talk, and you know it's
Speaker 2: hard for me to connect if we rarely talk. So
Speaker 2: if you do want this to go somewhere, I think
Speaker 2: we need more communication. During the week, he heard me,
Speaker 2: and he put it and more effort and more communication.
Speaker 2: Some people just don't have the same communication style or
Speaker 2: skill as you. Some people just don't know what to
Speaker 2: do because everyone's so scared nowadays. It makes me sick.
Speaker 2: I have to say, it makes me sick, how like scared?
Speaker 2: Some I can't even call the men boys are to
Speaker 2: communicate and put an effort?
Speaker 1: What is that? What is that? What?
Speaker 2: Sorry? I am like an animal. When I want something,
Speaker 2: I absolutely go for it. I'm never going to pursue
Speaker 2: a man because vomit in my mouth. But when there's
Speaker 2: something in my life that I want, I go for it.
Speaker 2: And that's the only kind of behavior I would ever
Speaker 2: allow near me, because whatever you allow, you amplify. So
Speaker 2: if someone isn't really communicating with you and you want more,
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with saying, hey, if you want this
Speaker 2: to go somewhere, I definitely need more communication, or else
Speaker 2: they don't really feel connected to our relationship. And if
Speaker 2: they can't raise the level of communication after you communicated
Speaker 2: what you need, then they're just not for you. They're
Speaker 2: not that interested, or it's just not a good match
Speaker 2: of communication style and personality type. But I do think
Speaker 2: it's important either way to remember if they are the
Speaker 2: masculine energy, they need to be the one to really
Speaker 2: show you that they want you. They're gonna do what
Speaker 2: they have to do to get you, and they're giving
Speaker 2: you energy they're gonna pursue to you. The masculine energy
Speaker 2: is a giver and the feminine energy is the receiver.
Speaker 2: So if you're not sure whether someone is pursuing you
Speaker 2: or not, they're just a friend, that's it. If you're
Speaker 2: not sure if they're breadcrumbing you, pursuing you, texting, you
Speaker 2: don't know what it is. They are a homie, they
Speaker 2: are a friend. They are just a fellow human. That's all.
Speaker 1: You do.
Speaker 2: Not give someone a type all that they do not deserve.
Speaker 2: They have to earn their place in your life, and you,
Speaker 2: on the other hand, should not be overplaying your part
Speaker 2: in their life. Give people space to show you who
Speaker 2: they are. If they're not texting you, let them show
Speaker 2: you that. If they're not reaching out to you, let
Speaker 2: them show you that. You will not be confused when
Speaker 2: there's courtship. You will not be confused when there's actual
Speaker 2: courtship happening. You will know based on how they look
Speaker 2: at you, how they respond to you, and how they
Speaker 2: plan dates with you. So is texting every day of
Speaker 2: the utmost importance. No, Actually, what I think is actually
Speaker 2: important is them setting into action plans to see you. Now,
Speaker 2: that's at the beginning. If at three months you're not
Speaker 2: really talking every day, that I would say is weird.
Speaker 2: Now that's weird. Three months into it, you should be
Speaker 2: talking on a daily basis. We should now kind of
Speaker 2: be getting to a place of what are we because
Speaker 2: maybe you needed three months to get to know one another,
Speaker 2: but now it's like, all right, are we gonna be
Speaker 2: girlfriend and boyfriend or are we going separate ways? What's happening?
Speaker 2: If you don't know what you are at five months,
Speaker 2: that is not cute. I don't like that means that
Speaker 2: person isn't serious, and just cut it off. The only
Speaker 2: thing worse than being in a situationship for a year
Speaker 2: is being in a situationship for a year and one day. Okay,
Speaker 2: so just cut it off. If they don't know what
Speaker 2: they want, you don't know what it is, just get
Speaker 2: out of there. But I really do think this is
Speaker 2: so much simpler than we think because men are pretty simple.
Speaker 2: They're pretty simple. If they want to see you, they'll
Speaker 2: say that. If they're interested in getting to know you more,
Speaker 2: they'll say that. If they want to speak to you,
Speaker 2: they will. If you're not sure, and you guys are
Speaker 2: seeing each other and there is a bit of texting,
Speaker 2: say something you have to communicate. You're wanting them to communicate,
Speaker 2: but you won't even communicate. So take autonomy and use
Speaker 2: your free will where you can and say something, but
Speaker 2: not in a blamey way. You never text me manmute. No,
Speaker 2: that's naggy and that's annoying, just in a hey, if
Speaker 2: you want this to continue, I definitely need more communication
Speaker 2: because that's how I feel connected to someone. Another question is, please,
Speaker 2: please please, for one of your podcasts, can you talk
Speaker 2: about not falling back into chaser energy. I'm having a
Speaker 2: terrible time with a guy I was seeing, and now
Speaker 2: he just keeps coming in and out. And I always
Speaker 2: think I've got a grip on my self concept, but
Speaker 2: the minute he pops up, I fall back into chaser
Speaker 2: energy and he goes off again. Whatever you allow, you amplify.
Speaker 2: If you keep allowing someone to come in and out
Speaker 2: of your life, you are amplifying that behavior. You are
Speaker 2: positively reinforcing. You're allowed to leave and then you're allowed
Speaker 2: to come back. You need to take accountability for what
Speaker 2: you're doing in this dynamic. This person is not playing you.
Speaker 2: They're not playing you because they have not only told
Speaker 2: you I'm sure, but they literally show you who they are.
Speaker 2: And you're still like it's fine, and it's dandy, keep
Speaker 2: going in and out. You need to take responsibility, put
Speaker 2: up a boundary. Hey, look, I'm not interested in this
Speaker 2: dynamic of on again, off again. It is boring to me.
Speaker 2: The best thing you can tell them is, look, this
Speaker 2: is a turnoff. I'm turned off by inconsistency. I personally,
Speaker 2: here's another magnetic mindset shift. I am not turned on
Speaker 2: by nonchalant men. I'm sorry. I have a love for
Speaker 2: ancient architecture. I love poetry, I read philosophy. I will not,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I will not allow a nonchalant man
Speaker 2: in my orbit, because you know what that would do
Speaker 2: to my energy. It would suck it out, and it
Speaker 2: would kill it, kill it, kill it. I am a
Speaker 2: deep feeler. I'm a deep lover. I always say this.
Speaker 2: I have absolutely no riz. I just have huge eyes
Speaker 2: and very unsettling things to say. I know myself again,
Speaker 2: that's golden key. Know thyself, because then you can know
Speaker 2: what thyself wants. I know myself, and I know that
Speaker 2: a nonchalant man would make my anxiety skyrocket. Okay, if
Speaker 2: you know that, you are a lover girl. You love poetry,
Speaker 2: you love reading, you love architecture, you love to pretend
Speaker 2: that you're a Victorian princess. The nonchalant man who's on again,
Speaker 2: off again is not your person. That is not your person.
Speaker 2: It's not just about who we have chemistry with. It's
Speaker 2: who's gonna be a good partner to me and for me?
Speaker 2: Who does this person allow me to be If someone
Speaker 2: comes in and out of your life and they're activating
Speaker 2: the anxious, needy version of you, that's not a good
Speaker 2: partner for you. I don't care if you have chemistry
Speaker 2: with them, because chemistry means nothing. I can have chemistry
Speaker 2: with the mailman, it doesn't mean I have to marry them.
Speaker 2: You're going to have chemistry with people because they remind
Speaker 2: you of trauma you've had in your past. You're gonna
Speaker 2: have chemistry with people because sometimes they're coming in to
Speaker 2: clear a karmic cord. You're gonna sometimes just have chemistry
Speaker 2: with people, but that doesn't mean that they are your
Speaker 2: soul mate. There's a difference between chemistry, chemicals going off
Speaker 2: in your head, and a cosmic connection someone who's from
Speaker 2: a past life and who's gonna be a good partner
Speaker 2: to you in this one. Chemistry will make you feel oooo.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have so much emotion for them, but you
Speaker 2: don't even know them. They're gonna make you feel like
Speaker 2: you are a firework. It's gonna be intense and hot
Speaker 2: and heavy and then extremely cold within the same amount
Speaker 2: of time. You don't want a microwave. You want to
Speaker 2: slower burn. A slow burn allows you to feel safe
Speaker 2: with that person. It's a good sign that it's a
Speaker 2: cosmic connection rather than chemistry, and it will allow you
Speaker 2: to build a partnership, create something together that's more than
Speaker 2: just chemistry. It's gonna allow you to cultivate. It's something
Speaker 2: that's long lasting. So really, you have so much power
Speaker 2: in this dynamic. You just keep allowing them to come
Speaker 2: in and out. If you say, I'm not doing this
Speaker 2: anymore because it's a turn off. Again, this person's supposed
Speaker 2: to be convincing you, courting you, showing you that they're
Speaker 2: the one, they're just showing you that they have zero
Speaker 2: capacity to be in a real relationship. Why are you
Speaker 2: wanting that? Why are you allowing that? That's what I
Speaker 2: want to know. Flip the script. Instead of asking yourself
Speaker 2: why don't they like me? Why are they coming in
Speaker 2: and out? Say why do I want someone who's like this.
Speaker 2: Why do I want someone who comes in and out?
Speaker 2: Switch the subject of your sentence with the object and
Speaker 2: make yourself the subject again? Why do I want someone
Speaker 2: who comes in and out not? Why do they come
Speaker 2: in and out of my life? Why do I feel
Speaker 2: like I have to prove myself to them? Why do
Speaker 2: I want to prove myself to them?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 2: Could this be about the dynamic I have with the caregivers?
Speaker 2: I crave love from the most? Is actually just reminding
Speaker 2: me about the dynamic I have with my dad? And
Speaker 2: now I'm trying to master that dynamic to prove to
Speaker 2: myself that I'm worthy of love. Could that be the
Speaker 2: real reason?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Duh, duh. It's not about them, It's not about them,
Speaker 2: It's not about the dude. It's about the dynamic the
Speaker 2: dude allows you to have. But you know what you
Speaker 2: have free will, And if you want to go from
Speaker 2: miserable to magnetic, you got to flip the script and
Speaker 2: you have to say, my power is in my present moment.
Speaker 2: I don't care what I allowed in the past. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to allow this to go on for one
Speaker 2: second longer. Tell them it's to turn off, Do not
Speaker 2: allow them back into your life and refocus on you.
Speaker 2: I don't understand why anyone thinks nonchalant men or men
Speaker 2: who are not courting us is attractive. Uh, what are
Speaker 2: you serving me? Silence? I can just go on a walk.
Speaker 2: What are you adding to my life? Confusion? No, thank you?
Speaker 2: If you are not uplifting my life in any way,
Speaker 2: why would I allow you into it? And that's just
Speaker 2: intimate relationships, that's friendships, that's business partnerships, that's anything. If
Speaker 2: someone is not making your life better, why why are
Speaker 2: you allowing them into it? If you're having trouble setting
Speaker 2: boundaries with other people, I highly recommend you join the
Speaker 2: Pedestal Path course and you get the Divine Feminine Healing Workbook.
Speaker 2: In the Divine Feminine Healing Workbook, I literally give you
Speaker 2: a script for how to set boundaries and will also
Speaker 2: help you activate your dark divine feminine, which will empower
Speaker 2: you to choose yourself instead of choosing people who are
Speaker 2: nonchalant and are not choosing you. The Pedestal Path course
Speaker 2: will help you understand why you're attracted to certain dynamics.
Speaker 2: It will help you regulate your nervous system, and it's
Speaker 2: also going to help you place yourself back on the pedestal,
Speaker 2: decentering the people who refuse to center you, because really,
Speaker 2: this is not about other people. This is about you.
Speaker 2: It's about the dynamics you're attracting. You do have so
Speaker 2: much power, and honestly, no one's that great, no one's
Speaker 2: that interesting, and no one is worth you betraying yourself.
Speaker 2: No one is worth it. I really think it's so
Speaker 2: important that you recognize your own self worth and what
Speaker 2: you embody. And if you feel like CC, I don't
Speaker 2: really know my self worth, okay, you need to take
Speaker 2: the shadow Alchemy course so that you can release the
Speaker 2: shame and cultivate the confidence. I just hate to see
Speaker 2: us playing ourselves because really a lot of these people
Speaker 2: out here, they're not making the plans with you. They're
Speaker 2: not texting you, they're not calling you, they're not pursuing you.
Speaker 2: They're saying they're in transition, they're not ready for a relationship,
Speaker 2: and we're thinking we can convince them. But that's not
Speaker 2: how men operate. They don't operate like that. They know
Speaker 2: relatively soon early whether or not they want to pursue
Speaker 2: a relationship with you, if it's not blatantly obvious that
Speaker 2: they're pursuing you. They probably aren't. And maybe that sounds harsh,
Speaker 2: but I'd rather you have a tough pill to swallow
Speaker 2: now than choke later. No one is worth you getting
Speaker 2: anxious and confused and upset because they're just not the
Speaker 2: right person for you. And also, if you are begging
Speaker 2: a man to give you attention and love and affection
Speaker 2: and communication, just take yourself outside of your body for
Speaker 2: a moment. Aren't you giving yourself the ick right now?
Speaker 2: Like I beg for a man to love me one
Speaker 2: time hard, I look back and I'm like, what was that.
Speaker 2: I send her grace and love and patience and compassion,
Speaker 2: but oh my god, I would never do that again.
Speaker 1: That was so.
Speaker 2: Dehumanizing, horrifying. IW me me begging for a man? Well,
Speaker 2: I can't, I truly can't. And if you're doing that,
Speaker 2: I need you to get the ick about that situation,
Speaker 2: because us women, when we get the ick, we are
Speaker 2: icked out. By the way, let's talk about the ick.
Speaker 2: You know what the ick is. The itch is when
Speaker 2: our intuition hits and as soon as it hits, us
Speaker 2: women have the amazing ability to be like and I'm
Speaker 2: done with him and I don't want him anymore, and
Speaker 2: I am done. I want you to get the ick
Speaker 2: about the behavior of begging for a man to love
Speaker 2: you or like you, because that is roles are so reverse. There,
Speaker 2: the divine feminine is the most magnetic, most attractive, most powerful.
Speaker 2: When she says on her pedestal, allowing in the masculine's energy.
Speaker 2: The masculine is meant to be the pursuer. The egg
Speaker 2: swims to the sperm. It's literally science. Get it through
Speaker 2: your head. Get it through your head, and get icked
Speaker 2: out that you would ever sit around and wait for
Speaker 2: a man ew ew. Get picked out that you would
Speaker 2: ever sit around and beg for a man ew get
Speaker 2: icked out that you would ever try to convince someone
Speaker 2: or manipulate yourself so that they like you.
Speaker 1: Ew.
Speaker 2: Get icked out at that behavior, not at yourself. You
Speaker 2: were just a woman who didn't know any better. But
Speaker 2: get icked out at that behavior because you can never
Speaker 2: do that again. No, no, because your soulmate, the right
Speaker 2: person for you, isn't going to require you to beg
Speaker 2: them to love you. The right person for you isn't
Speaker 2: going to require you to manipulate yourself for them to
Speaker 2: love you. The right person for you is not gonna
Speaker 2: require you to abandon yourself to love you. You begging
Speaker 2: someone to love you, giving them more energy than they're
Speaker 2: giving you, you're gonna end up resenting them and hating yourself.
Speaker 2: So I would cut that out if I were you.
Speaker 2: But ultimately, that's just a sign that they are not yours.
Speaker 2: And I feel like every time someone isn't the right
Speaker 2: person for me, or someone breaks my heart, I just
Speaker 2: get more excited for my soulmate because if I liked
Speaker 2: this person and they're not it, and you can't lose
Speaker 2: what's not yours and everything only gets better. Then if
Speaker 2: they weren't that bad, my actual partner is gonna be
Speaker 2: freaking amazing. I can't wait for that. That's so exciting.
Speaker 2: Someone also said there this is a big general question.
Speaker 2: What does casually dating multiple people look like when you're
Speaker 2: trying to find the one. I understand that a lot
Speaker 2: of us are wanting to find the one, but sometimes
Speaker 2: I feel like that limits us because we're going out
Speaker 2: and we're thinking I have to find the one. I
Speaker 2: have to find the one. Now you're stressed out, you're
Speaker 2: not in your authentic energy, and you're looking outside of
Speaker 2: yourself if you want to go from miserable to magnetic
Speaker 2: and find the one, instead of having the intention of
Speaker 2: finding the one, finding the one, finding the one, can
Speaker 2: you intend to enjoy the season you're in. Can you
Speaker 2: intend to have fun in the skin that you're in.
Speaker 2: Can you intend to have patience and allow Divinity to
Speaker 2: do its thing to bring you your best partner. I've
Speaker 2: been reading a lot about this mystical community called the
Speaker 2: Scenes that Jesus and the Blessed Mother Mary were a
Speaker 2: part of in Jesus's lost years. And in this community
Speaker 2: it was the elders who would match make couples based
Speaker 2: on their energy and their astrology. And it was said
Speaker 2: that the Blessed Mother Mary was one of these matchmakers
Speaker 2: and actually match Jesus with Mary Magdalene. And what you
Speaker 2: can do if you do want to call in the one,
Speaker 2: you can call on the Blessed Mother Mary to help
Speaker 2: awaken your soulmate and to begin to close the gap
Speaker 2: between you and your soulmate. Call on divine assistance, because
Speaker 2: so many of us are relying on only ourself to
Speaker 2: find the one, when your higher self and their higher
Speaker 2: self have already made some sort of plan for you
Speaker 2: to meet. If you want to make this plan move
Speaker 2: a bit more efficiently, if you want it to be
Speaker 2: a bit more seamless. It doesn't matter what religion you are.
Speaker 2: Call on the Blessed Mother Mary to start collapsing the
Speaker 2: gap between you and your soulmate now. While you're doing this,
Speaker 2: the other part of this is there is a reason
Speaker 2: your soulmate's not in front of you right now. They
Speaker 2: may still have some things they need to work on,
Speaker 2: and you may have some things you need to work on.
Speaker 2: So while you're asking either the Blessed Mother or your
Speaker 2: spirit guides to close the gap between you and your soulmate,
Speaker 2: I also want you to ask them the question, and
Speaker 2: what do I need to focus on during this season?
Speaker 2: What do I need to work on cultivating? What do
Speaker 2: I need to work on growing within myself? What area
Speaker 2: of my life needs my energy? If your person was
Speaker 2: meant to be here right now, I truly think they
Speaker 2: would be And I'll use myself for an example. I'm
Speaker 2: not in a serious relationship right now because I truly
Speaker 2: believe that in this season I'm meant to be pouring
Speaker 2: into myself. I truly believe my main focus right now
Speaker 2: is meant to be me. One day I will be
Speaker 2: in a committed relationship with a family, and I will
Speaker 2: never have this much me time to focus on my
Speaker 2: mission that God has bestowed upon me. I'm never going
Speaker 2: to have this much time to pump out the content
Speaker 2: to connect, to create courses. I'm never gonna have this
Speaker 2: much time because right now my responsibility is basically just
Speaker 2: me and some other familial stuff, but basically just me.
Speaker 2: So I when I talk to the blessed Mother Mary,
Speaker 2: I always say, and what should I be focusing on
Speaker 2: right now? And for me, it's health, it's abundance, it's
Speaker 2: my mission, it's my creativity, and it's connecting to God,
Speaker 2: really being disciplined with my spirituality. There is something in
Speaker 2: your current season that you're meant to be looking at.
Speaker 2: Look at it, look at it, lean into it. And
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean you stop dating. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 2: you stop having the desire for wanting that person. It
Speaker 2: just means that you release some of the resistance around it.
Speaker 2: Because if you're only looking for your person, that's so
Speaker 2: much anxiety, that's so much resistance. But when you say,
Speaker 2: and what do I need to be working on right now?
Speaker 2: You put yourself back on your pedestal. It's a magnetic
Speaker 2: mindset shift, and you now release the resistance and make
Speaker 2: room for you, your person to come in. Think about
Speaker 2: all those people who want a baby so bad they
Speaker 2: can't get pregnant. Then they adopt, and then they get pregnant.
Speaker 2: They then get pregnant after the adoption because they eased
Speaker 2: up on the anxiety, on the resistance, and they allowed
Speaker 2: themselves to get in the vibration of having a child
Speaker 2: rather than the vibration of wanting a child. If you
Speaker 2: want to get into the vibration of having love rather
Speaker 2: than wanting love, ask what you need to be focused
Speaker 2: on right now. Maybe it's self love, love of a
Speaker 2: family member, love of a friend, love of creating. I
Speaker 2: literally heard God say to me, Ceci, I don't want
Speaker 2: you falling in love with another person right now. I
Speaker 2: want you falling in love with the process of creation.
Speaker 2: And I said, okay, I'll try not to, but we
Speaker 2: know me I just love. Love can't help can't help
Speaker 2: a girl who loves love. But I really have been focused.
Speaker 2: With that being said, let yourself intend to focus on you,
Speaker 2: and let yourself intend to have fun. You can still
Speaker 2: be open to love. You can still look for your person,
Speaker 2: but when you're obsessively scanning and hypervigilant, you do create
Speaker 2: that resistance and you do get miserable. And I also
Speaker 2: think that so many of us aren't using our intuition.
Speaker 2: When I'm on a dating app or I'm meeting someone,
Speaker 2: I don't just allow anyone who wants me into my life.
Speaker 2: I use my intuition. How does my body feel? What
Speaker 2: do I feel about this person? How am I responding?
Speaker 2: If I meet someone or align with someone on a
Speaker 2: dating app. Before I ever meet them, I FaceTime with them.
Speaker 2: Do you know how many people their profile was fine,
Speaker 2: but when we facetimed, their voice didn't resonate with me.
Speaker 2: The way they moved, their personality did not resonate with me.
Speaker 2: Because you can't really tell from a profile all the time.
Speaker 2: You can sit back and feel into it, but if
Speaker 2: you're not sure, don't waste all of your time getting
Speaker 2: ready and going out, and say, let's FaceTime first, get
Speaker 2: on a call, see how it feels. That will allow
Speaker 2: you to not burn out as quickly. We have to
Speaker 2: think and feel before we just do so before we
Speaker 2: just go on the date, FaceTime with them first, feel
Speaker 2: into the profile. Don't just go out with anyone who
Speaker 2: asks you. You have to be your own protector here
Speaker 2: and say, well, what does this feel like to me?
Speaker 2: What is my intuition telling me? And you know, you
Speaker 2: do know, and if you're not your FaceTime with them,
Speaker 2: and then you'll definitely know. But we really do know,
Speaker 2: we can feel it. But there are ways we can
Speaker 2: avoid burnout by focusing on what does my current season
Speaker 2: invite me to do. Let me FaceTime with them first.
Speaker 2: Let me not chase a nonchalant man. Let me instead
Speaker 2: see that that is a turnoff that is unattractive. Let
Speaker 2: me stop allowing what I do not want to amplify.
Speaker 1: Me.
Speaker 2: Just see how things unfold instead of needing them to
Speaker 2: text me twenty four to seven. Let me see who
Speaker 2: they are and if we're getting to a point where
Speaker 2: we're two months in okay, let me say something. I
Speaker 2: truly think you know when someone's into you, if they
Speaker 2: are setting the dates, if they are wanting to see
Speaker 2: you in person, it should be their wanting to see
Speaker 2: you once a week. Once a week is a good
Speaker 2: solid amount of time for the first month, maybe second month,
Speaker 2: it's like twice a week, third month, it's like maybe
Speaker 2: twice a week, once a week. I still think that's fine.
Speaker 2: Allow things to unfold for you. You don't have to
Speaker 2: control everything. I do want to mention some red flags
Speaker 2: I've been seeing. So the biggest red flag is if
Speaker 2: they say they want to make plans sometime soon. That's
Speaker 2: not real. If they're not saying an exact date and
Speaker 2: setting it up with you right then and there, they
Speaker 2: are not looking to date you. They're looking for entertainment
Speaker 2: god knows what, but it's not real. Don't believe them.
Speaker 2: They either say a date or it's not happening. Number two,
Speaker 2: if they say they're in transition, run run. That is
Speaker 2: someone who's confused and doesn't know what they want, which
Speaker 2: is fine, respect their spiritual journey. But you don't want
Speaker 2: to be on a saillless sailboat because that's directionless. A
Speaker 2: sailboat with no sales is not going in any direction.
Speaker 2: It's just floundering, and you don't want to be floundering. Okay.
Speaker 2: Number three, if they talk about how much money they have,
Speaker 2: how much like success they have, this and that. If
Speaker 2: they're always talking about it, they're talking about it because
Speaker 2: they don't actually have it. They might have like a
Speaker 2: little bit of it, but if they have to lead
Speaker 2: with that twenty four to seven, it's because they have
Speaker 2: low confidence, they're insecure, and they really don't even have
Speaker 2: what they're trying to promote that they have. They're using
Speaker 2: it as a mask to try to attract people towards them.
Speaker 2: It's not real though, So you don't want that, and
Speaker 2: you don't want an insecure man because they will try
Speaker 2: to bleed the energy out of you and that's just
Speaker 2: simply not worth it. Another red flag is if the
Speaker 2: communication isn't leveling up. So if they're only talking to
Speaker 2: you on the app or they're only texting you, but
Speaker 2: they never move that up to a call or a
Speaker 2: FaceTime or seeing you in person. If there's no progression
Speaker 2: of seeing you more or talking to you more over time,
Speaker 2: that is a red flag. I'm not saying that has
Speaker 2: to happen in one week or one day, but there
Speaker 2: should be a progression. If you're talking still for two
Speaker 2: weeks only on texts and there's not been any greater communication,
Speaker 2: that is a red flag. Something's weird with that. They
Speaker 2: should be calling you or asking to see you in person.
Speaker 2: Another red flag is that their words and their actions
Speaker 2: are not in alignment. They say they want a wife,
Speaker 2: they want this, they want to take you here, here,
Speaker 2: and here. But if they're never actually putting those words
Speaker 2: into a plan and they're never taking action, red flags.
Speaker 2: They want to be about it, but they aren't. Cut
Speaker 2: your losses and get out of there. And a huge
Speaker 2: red flag is if they talk really bad about their ex.
Speaker 2: I always find that as such a turn off. It
Speaker 2: takes two to tango. Eventually, when you get to know them,
Speaker 2: maybe they'll tell you some things that have happened between them.
Speaker 2: But if they're off the bat saying my ex was crazy,
Speaker 2: guess who's going to be the next crazy ex, It's
Speaker 2: going to be you. So with that being said, they
Speaker 2: should have awareness about the person they dated at one time.
Speaker 2: They liked that person, that's why they dated them, So
Speaker 2: to trash them to someone they really don't even know,
Speaker 2: I do think is a red flag. So if you're
Speaker 2: experiencing any of these things, then definitely running the opposite direction.
Speaker 2: I hope this podcast episode shed some light on how
Speaker 2: you can shift from a miserable mindset into a magnetic one.
Speaker 2: If you enjoyed the podcast, please leave a positive review.
Speaker 2: On Apple Podcasts and Spotify. As always a sparkle in me,
Speaker 2: honored a sparkle and you don't forget. To grab your
Speaker 2: copy of Show Up as Her and join Shadow Alchemy
Speaker 2: and the Pedestal Path for more information on a magnetic mindset.
Speaker 2: And I'll see you in the next one.
Speaker 1: No comenogy, cancer, come
Speaker 2: Enogy, No cancer, cancer, cancer