WEBVTT 1 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:17.120 Hello, and welcome to Backflips and Nerds, the baseball podcast 2 00:00:17.160 --> 00:00:19.760 with the British Twist. It's John here and I'm again 3 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:23.000 joined by my great mate Russell. How are you today, mate? 4 00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:23.920 I'm doing good. 5 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:24.519 I'm doing good. 6 00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:27.640 It's another very interesting interviewee that we have in line 7 00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:29.719 for you all, and I'm really looking forward to this. 8 00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:34.759 Yeah, it's a good one. This guy is gonna definitely 9 00:00:34.799 --> 00:00:38.079 bring the energy. Our guest today has pitched over one 10 00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:41.039 hundred Big League games across six seasons with six different 11 00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:44.320 MLB clubs, and also made almost two hundred appearances in 12 00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:48.200 Japan's NPB across three seasons with the copp and the Marines. 13 00:00:48.520 --> 00:00:51.759 He's also the co host of the excellent Brushback podcast 14 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:54.520 and the author of a recent book collecting his approach 15 00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:57.560 to the game of baseball and to life, Nine Innings 16 00:00:57.600 --> 00:00:59.920 to Living Your Best Life. He's also known as the 17 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:03.960 Happiest Man in Baseball Powered by Smiles. Welcome, Jay Jackson. 18 00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:06.599 How are you mate? I'm creating well. How are you 19 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:10.879 appreciate the great introduction? For sure? That was awesome. But 20 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:12.640 I'm doing well, doing well? 21 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:17.120 Yeah, well, of course, I mean you really are. Let's 22 00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:20.000 start there, Jay, Normally we start these conversations at the 23 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:23.599 beginning of a baseball career, but it feels appropriate to 24 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:27.480 start with where you are right now, and that's a 25 00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:30.799 published author and a guy who's been touring the States 26 00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:35.040 doing motivational talks in schools and in colleges. So tell 27 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:37.400 us about the book, tell us about why you wrote it, 28 00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:39.959 and what it says about you as a ballplayer and 29 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:42.120 as a person, because it feels like a lot of 30 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:45.079 the essence of Jay Jackson is and the lessons that 31 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:47.040 you've learned through life and that you share across your 32 00:01:47.079 --> 00:01:49.519 social media are right there in print now. 33 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:53.159 No, for sure, it's definitely words to live by, my 34 00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:56.560 words that I personally live by. I actually reread it 35 00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:59.040 quite a bit and read other things like it a 36 00:01:59.079 --> 00:02:01.640 bit just to kind of like, no matter what stage 37 00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:03.159 of life I'm at, so like right now, I'm just 38 00:02:03.239 --> 00:02:05.400 kind of reading through it again just to like check 39 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:07.319 some boxes and make sure I'm on the path that 40 00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:09.919 I truly need to be on as well. But the 41 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:12.599 book came about kind of funny, Like I didn't think 42 00:02:12.599 --> 00:02:14.199 I was going to play last year, even though I 43 00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:16.840 ended up getting a major league deal. I didn't think 44 00:02:16.879 --> 00:02:18.560 I was going to play, and so I talked to 45 00:02:18.599 --> 00:02:20.120 a guy who I was going to have bet my 46 00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:23.159 mentor for like life after Baseball, and he talked to 47 00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:24.800 me for a couple of minutes and was like, hey, 48 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:26.599 like you should write a book, and I was like, well, 49 00:02:26.639 --> 00:02:28.400 I don't know the process to writing a book. And 50 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:31.960 then he put me in touch with a publisher and 51 00:02:32.039 --> 00:02:35.639 an editor, and my editor did a great job getting 52 00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:38.199 my book out and helping me fulfill my dream of 53 00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:40.560 doing that since you know, I was kind of doing 54 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:43.520 it and living the book as I was writing it 55 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:45.439 because of the simple fact that I was going through 56 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:48.159 some injuries and going through some things with the team 57 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:50.159 and kind of having the season that I didn't want 58 00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:53.360 to have. So other people getting getting the book or 59 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:55.280 getting a lot of me and a lot of my 60 00:02:55.400 --> 00:02:57.280 struggles that I had last year and a lot of 61 00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:00.240 my in depth feelings about how my life was going 62 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:01.639 at the time, trying to make sure I was staying 63 00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:05.319 positive through some kind of really negative situations but just 64 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.879 taking the best approach I can and enjoying the moments 65 00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:11.000 I had when I could. And so it's just like 66 00:03:11.080 --> 00:03:13.680 it just came about like just wanting to keep my 67 00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:16.639 word to the publisher after I told him I was 68 00:03:16.680 --> 00:03:18.879 going to do it. I got signed to a major 69 00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:20.919 league deal after so I was like, hey, you know what, 70 00:03:21.039 --> 00:03:23.319 Like I always tell people, I'm going to be a 71 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:25.439 man of my word, and so I was like, hey, 72 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:26.919 I'm going to do the book. I'm going to do 73 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:30.039 it whenever I have time. And then I mean, I 74 00:03:30.039 --> 00:03:32.319 guess I got lucky and had the injury, and so 75 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:34.199 I had more time to finish the book and finish 76 00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:39.039 it in a more or more rapid pace. But it 77 00:03:39.199 --> 00:03:41.319 just came out and came to be like I got 78 00:03:41.319 --> 00:03:43.000 to lift through the book and got to put some 79 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:45.280 of my principles in my life lessons and kind of 80 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:47.039 like what my life was going through in the book 81 00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:48.800 as well. So it was it was a great time 82 00:03:48.840 --> 00:03:49.560 for me, honestly. 83 00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:53.400 And what changed in the book based on your circumstances, 84 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:55.719 because we'll get into your career a little bit later 85 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:57.599 on in the conversation, but it is, as I said 86 00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:00.879 in the start, it's it's been quite secureus as these 87 00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:03.919 things go. But last year was an interesting one for you. 88 00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:06.280 You started the year on a real high. It was 89 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:08.159 the first time that you'd made a major league gross 90 00:04:08.199 --> 00:04:11.240 to straight out of spring training, and you know they 91 00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:13.639 didn't go probably as you'd hope. So do you think 92 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:16.079 that this ended up being a different book or is 93 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:18.720 it still essence to you coming back to your your 94 00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:21.519 center and the things that have kept you going as 95 00:04:21.560 --> 00:04:23.800 you've as you've come through all of the challenges that 96 00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:24.879 you have through your career. 97 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:28.839 I think it. I don't think it would have been different. 98 00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:33.000 I think it's actually better, honestly because of the things 99 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.800 I was going through, because like I said, it wasn't 100 00:04:34.839 --> 00:04:37.079 the year I wanted to go through. But also come 101 00:04:37.160 --> 00:04:39.240 to find out, I was playing through some injuries at 102 00:04:39.240 --> 00:04:41.519 the same time. I ended up having to give a 103 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:44.839 PRP injection in my left knee and in my right shoulder. 104 00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:46.839 So it kind of shows you kind of what I 105 00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:48.839 was dealing with and trying to play at that level 106 00:04:49.160 --> 00:04:51.240 with those injuries and not been out there one hundred 107 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:54.439 percent or even at ninety percent really and trying to 108 00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:56.160 get the best hitters in the world out. I mean, 109 00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:58.399 it's going to going to go how it was, And 110 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:01.120 for a little bit there right I was having some success, 111 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:03.319 you know, I was having some good innings, but it 112 00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:06.399 was just as the season war on and as the 113 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:08.720 innings piled up, like my knee and my shoulder just 114 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:11.240 couldn't take it anymore, and so it just ended up 115 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:13.040 being you know, I was just trying to get through it, 116 00:05:13.160 --> 00:05:15.720 and it just like I said, it's tough. It's tough 117 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.360 to get out in the big leagues when you're not 118 00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:20.600 at full strength. Ended up you know, not being the 119 00:05:20.680 --> 00:05:22.800 year I wanted to, but it is what it is. 120 00:05:22.839 --> 00:05:26.480 So it's just you know, the book is me going 121 00:05:26.519 --> 00:05:28.240 through that and making sure that I was keeping a 122 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:31.360 positive mindset through me knowing that I was pitching not 123 00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:33.600 at the best level and going through these injuries and 124 00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:36.399 trying to make the best situation because honestly, at the time, 125 00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:38.279 I felt like the team needed my help because we 126 00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:41.160 had some other injuries in the bullpen, and you know, 127 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:43.079 I was trying to just cover and be there and 128 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:45.759 be the best teammate I could, but ended up not 129 00:05:45.800 --> 00:05:48.120 being in the best situation of the best efforts for me. 130 00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:52.879 That's really interesting what you're saying about, you know, struggling 131 00:05:52.879 --> 00:05:56.680 through injuries and I it's a conversation that you hear 132 00:05:56.720 --> 00:05:58.600 a lot of or his my wife's just popping in 133 00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:03.720 the background. It's It's a conversation that you hear a 134 00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:09.319 lot of guys in baseball have about their career, about 135 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:13.279 how you stress your injuries, particularly about where you are 136 00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:16.600 in your career. Right, So, you being in your situation, 137 00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:18.959 you you over the last three or four years have 138 00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:22.160 established yourself as a big leaguer, but still you're on 139 00:06:22.199 --> 00:06:24.480 the margins, on the bubble of those rosters are sort 140 00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:28.079 of middle inning transitioning to lightening relievers, and so being 141 00:06:28.120 --> 00:06:30.560 open and honest about your injuries is always a risk 142 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:32.560 for you right in those situations. This is this is 143 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:35.600 something that loads of big leagues talk about after they've retired, 144 00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:39.120 that being straightforward about how injured you are is always 145 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:40.959 a risk when you're in a big league clubhouse, isn't it. 146 00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:44.680 Well, yeah, for sure, especially now it's more you know, 147 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:46.879 guys do it. I mean, I'm from the older school 148 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:48.879 where we never told about our injuries and that we 149 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:50.600 kind of just played through everything. Now, guys, you know, 150 00:06:50.879 --> 00:06:53.279 they tell you to go to the trainer and go 151 00:06:53.399 --> 00:06:55.040 in there and get checked up as much as you 152 00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:56.639 can to make sure you stay on the field and 153 00:06:56.680 --> 00:07:00.839 stay healthy. And I feel like it's it leaves Like 154 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:03.360 you know, I feel like, if you say it all 155 00:07:03.399 --> 00:07:05.279 the time and you feel like you're injured all the time, 156 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:08.639 you're mentally you're telling yourself that you're always hurting, like 157 00:07:09.360 --> 00:07:12.079 instead of just playing through certain things. So I try 158 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:13.920 to just like play through as much as I can 159 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:15.600 and try to just do the best I can with 160 00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:18.920 what I have, until you know, once my performance starts suffering, 161 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:21.439 I'm like, Okay, well, obviously there's something wrong, because I 162 00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:24.519 mean last year, honestly, if you know, you look at 163 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:26.199 it was like my worst year in the big leagues ever. 164 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.480 But also I was taking account of a lot of things, 165 00:07:29.480 --> 00:07:31.759 like if I look at just like the first innings, 166 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:33.720 I would pitch like I normally had really good first 167 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:36.519 innings and then I would go in. Then my second 168 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:38.920 innings would suffer sometimes, and I think that was just 169 00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:41.120 because of the injuries, because I feel like, you know, 170 00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:43.040 my knee and I would get a little stiffer, and 171 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:46.120 like my shoulder would just become heavy, like it just 172 00:07:46.160 --> 00:07:48.600 didn't go as well as you know, I wanted to 173 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:50.480 be a multi inning guy at the time. You know, 174 00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:52.480 if I was probably one ending guy, I think I 175 00:07:52.519 --> 00:07:55.120 probably would have been all right. But I think being 176 00:07:55.120 --> 00:07:57.120 a multi ding guy. Last year kind of it caught 177 00:07:57.160 --> 00:07:58.600 up to me a little bit, and I mean that 178 00:07:58.680 --> 00:08:01.199 was just my role too, So it is what it is, 179 00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:04.639 and you know, that's just what you know, we used 180 00:08:04.680 --> 00:08:06.360 to do. Even though I was on a guaranteed deal 181 00:08:06.439 --> 00:08:08.399 last year, I think I felt like I had to 182 00:08:08.519 --> 00:08:11.519 prove why I had the deal to improved that the 183 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:13.839 year before with the Blue Jays wasn't a fluke, even 184 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:16.399 though the year with the Blue Jays honestly was just 185 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:18.480 kind of how I've pitched my whole career. And like 186 00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:20.079 I said, if you kind of look at the numbers 187 00:08:20.360 --> 00:08:23.000 last year, I feel like the first innings like I 188 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:24.800 kind of did well and then I would just kind 189 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:27.079 of let let like the second thing just kind of 190 00:08:27.079 --> 00:08:29.839 snowball sometimes. And it was just I was the guy 191 00:08:29.879 --> 00:08:32.159 who had to kind of wear it sometimes too. So 192 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:34.600 I mean that just shows you how good our bullpen was. 193 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:37.679 Honestly that as well. But you know, I mean that 194 00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:40.039 was just the role I was in, so one time 195 00:08:40.039 --> 00:08:41.639 you lose them. I mean back in the day, I 196 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:44.879 was the closer in a set of guy. So it happened. 197 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.120 Yeah, So I want to sort of talk about, you know, 198 00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:52.519 the sort of the Jay Jackson Extended Universe. We've got 199 00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:55.679 the book and we've got smile, which is not only 200 00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:59.559 how you you know an act, it's it's the way 201 00:08:59.559 --> 00:09:01.279 you are as a person, It's the way you live. 202 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:04.480 It's it's also your mantra, which is start making intentional 203 00:09:04.519 --> 00:09:08.039 life efforts. Where did where did that, as your the 204 00:09:08.039 --> 00:09:10.200 sort of core of what you're about come from. When 205 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:13.000 did you start being the smiley guy in the clubhouse? 206 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:15.600 When did you start making intentional life efforts? As you 207 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:17.639 put it, so say, well. 208 00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:22.639 I think that, honestly, that point started just I just 209 00:09:23.399 --> 00:09:25.600 one day, I just asked the man upstairs. I was 210 00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:27.440 just like, hey, it's baseball what I'm supposed to do. 211 00:09:27.639 --> 00:09:30.440 And if it is, you know, I'm never going to 212 00:09:30.519 --> 00:09:32.679 take the game for granted again. I'm just gonna, you know, 213 00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:35.919 honestly be who I need to be and be happy 214 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:37.879 that I'm out there every day and kind of try 215 00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:40.279 to make it the best situation possible no matter where 216 00:09:40.279 --> 00:09:42.080 I'm at, as long as I'm out here and if 217 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:44.240 this is what I'm supposed to do, and realistically, like 218 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:47.039 the next day I got a phone call from my 219 00:09:47.080 --> 00:09:50.240 agent for me to have a job. It was like Okay, like, 220 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:52.399 I guess I'm supposed to play baseball and I'm going 221 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:55.159 to enjoy it. And then from there I still felt 222 00:09:55.159 --> 00:09:57.440 like because before then I kind of was trying to 223 00:09:57.559 --> 00:09:59.600 be like everybody else. I was trying to fit the 224 00:09:59.639 --> 00:10:02.440 act of you know, this is what the typical baseball 225 00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:04.679 player is, this is what success kind of looks like, 226 00:10:04.759 --> 00:10:07.000 instead of being myself. And then I got the job, 227 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:09.000 and then I started enjoying baseball a little bit more 228 00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.120 and realizing like, hey, like this is who I am. 229 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:14.559 This is when I played my best. And then it 230 00:10:14.600 --> 00:10:16.480 really kind of took off when I went to Japan. 231 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:19.639 And then in Japan it kind of just became like hey, 232 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:23.480 like honestly, every time I got three outs, I was 233 00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:26.320 just so like, hey, like, I'm happy that I got 234 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:28.159 three outs, because especially I was, like I said, I 235 00:10:28.200 --> 00:10:30.360 was a setup guy at the point in time, and 236 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:32.759 so like me being in those big situations and getting 237 00:10:32.759 --> 00:10:34.559 three outs, I was like, you know what, like, I'm 238 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:36.519 so thankful that I got three outs, and that kind 239 00:10:36.519 --> 00:10:37.960 of just became who I was, Like I would just 240 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:40.639 smile working off the field, and then I got to 241 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:43.679 be known as Smiley Jackson, and then Smiley j and 242 00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:45.639 then it just kind of I was like, you know what, 243 00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:48.720 like I do pitch better when I'm happy and I'm 244 00:10:48.919 --> 00:10:51.519 like in a place of gratitude. And so when I 245 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:54.159 ended up coming back to America and coming back to 246 00:10:54.200 --> 00:10:56.240 the States, I just kind of kept that same mentality 247 00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:58.720 no matter kind of what was going on. And you know, 248 00:10:58.759 --> 00:11:00.679 baseball's kind of shifting a way away from kind of 249 00:11:00.679 --> 00:11:03.080 the old school and coming into the new day and 250 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:05.840 age at that point in time. So it just kind 251 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:07.519 of was a nice little transition like I got to 252 00:11:07.519 --> 00:11:09.320 go away for a little bit and come back and like, 253 00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:12.200 you know, have a new take, but have you know, 254 00:11:12.519 --> 00:11:15.919 be the same old person and just you know, just 255 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:17.440 enjoy the second half of my career. 256 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:21.120 I guess I would say, how did that, Like, how's 257 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:23.519 that different from maybe like your first few years, like 258 00:11:23.559 --> 00:11:25.960 in Pro Bowl, Because obviously with that seventeen year experience, 259 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:27.840 you're talking about things on the lane of half of 260 00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:28.360 your career. 261 00:11:29.080 --> 00:11:30.320 What would like Jay. 262 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:33.559 Jackson right now be telling Jay Jackson from that it's 263 00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:35.279 like the eighteen year old or the twenty year old 264 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:36.159 coming into baseball. 265 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:41.759 I would have told him to not stress everything so much, 266 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:44.120 don't try to be perfect, like that was kind of 267 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:46.679 what it was. I was just I would tell them, just, 268 00:11:46.759 --> 00:11:49.440 you know, enjoy those moments, like there's gonna be times 269 00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:52.159 that you know, you know that you're gonna want to 270 00:11:52.200 --> 00:11:55.159 go do certain things, and you need to enjoy the 271 00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:57.679 moments that you have out there with the guys too. 272 00:11:57.799 --> 00:11:59.519 And I wouldn't change a lot of the things I 273 00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:02.080 did or earlier in my career. I would say, do 274 00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:04.879 the same things, but enjoy it more and enjoy where 275 00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:07.159 I was at more and enjoy the present moments that 276 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:09.960 I was at there instead of like stressing that oh God, 277 00:12:10.080 --> 00:12:12.639 like if I throw this pitch and you know, I 278 00:12:12.679 --> 00:12:14.799 have a bad outing, I'm gonna get sent down and 279 00:12:14.799 --> 00:12:18.039 blah blah blah. Like it's just, you know, enjoy that 280 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:20.360 present moment that I'm there, and be grateful for what 281 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:22.080 I have. Even though you know, like I said, it 282 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:24.360 was different back then too. Guys are making a lot 283 00:12:24.360 --> 00:12:26.240 more money in the miners than we were back then. 284 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:28.600 Like back in when I was playing, you know, we 285 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:31.799 were making you know, one thousand dollars a month, and 286 00:12:31.879 --> 00:12:34.919 that was before taxes, and we had to sometimes pay 287 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:37.120 for our own housing and our own food and all 288 00:12:37.159 --> 00:12:40.000 these things, and so I mean it was a little 289 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:42.840 bit more of a stressful situation back then too, But 290 00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:47.080 I would say, for sure, enjoy that moment that I had. 291 00:12:47.240 --> 00:12:49.240 Just be grateful for those moments because I mean the 292 00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:51.799 people around me that truly were around me and the 293 00:12:51.799 --> 00:12:53.840 friends that I still have, you know, they were always 294 00:12:53.879 --> 00:12:56.159 going to be there supporting me. Like in the family 295 00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:57.600 that I have, they were always going to be there 296 00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:00.399 supporting me no matter what. So you know, it was 297 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:04.080 just making sure that I would enjoy the game a 298 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:06.840 lot sooner than I actually did, and being grateful for 299 00:13:06.919 --> 00:13:09.039 the moments I had a lot sooner than I did, 300 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:10.840 because I mean, even my first half of my career, 301 00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:13.399 I had a lot of success. I just didn't translate 302 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:15.519 that success, you know, probably the way I should have. 303 00:13:15.559 --> 00:13:18.240 I don't think, you know, God wanted me to have 304 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:20.840 more success because I didn't think I was ready for 305 00:13:20.879 --> 00:13:22.799 it at that time. Well you know, I think I 306 00:13:22.840 --> 00:13:26.320 probably would have done something stupid and you know, trying 307 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:28.279 to take advantage of it instead of you know, getting 308 00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:30.679 where I got to and being able to, you know, 309 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:34.559 honestly be grateful and be in that moment of the 310 00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:37.840 success that I had when I did have it. 311 00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:40.600 It's just touching on the start of your career, right 312 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:44.919 it is. It is extraordinary, particularly knowing that you've been 313 00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:48.240 a fixture in big league bullpens for the last few years, 314 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:53.159 and you had a really successful period in Japan were 315 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:55.919 you're in the miners for seven years before you made 316 00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:58.799 your big league debut, and that, in and of itself, 317 00:13:58.840 --> 00:14:01.919 is is sort of a a lesson in resilience, is 318 00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:05.919 it not? Because there aren't many guys who hang around 319 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:09.240 for seven years and you were you did everything right. 320 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:11.480 Some years you were some years you were a starter, 321 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:14.360 some years you were a closer, some years you were, 322 00:14:14.799 --> 00:14:16.360 you know, doing what you were dead with the twins 323 00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:20.279 last year. How did you manage to sort of process 324 00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:22.279 through that when you were being jerked about and you 325 00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:24.720 played for I think it was the fifth different organizations, 326 00:14:24.720 --> 00:14:26.399 the Padres or was that that you played for when 327 00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:27.480 you when you made your debut. 328 00:14:28.919 --> 00:14:34.360 I think that I just realistically, I just enjoyed it. 329 00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:36.840 I started enjoying baseball. That's kind of what I told 330 00:14:36.919 --> 00:14:40.320 you before. Like I got to the point where like 331 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:42.200 I just like I said, I asked the man upstairs, 332 00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:43.600 I was like, hey, like it is baseball. What I'm 333 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:45.080 supposed to be doing. And it wasn't the job that 334 00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:47.240 got me to Japan, but it was actually like when 335 00:14:47.240 --> 00:14:49.080 I was a free agent playing baseball and I was 336 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:53.200 actually about to you know, I was about to get 337 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:58.519 married to my ex wife at the time, and and 338 00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:01.440 she we were about to get married, and like I said, 339 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:04.679 the minor league pay was kind of terrible. So it's like, Okay, 340 00:15:04.679 --> 00:15:06.080 I got to figure out how to pay for a 341 00:15:06.120 --> 00:15:09.039 family and all this stuff and so and like I said, 342 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:11.159 I got a job like the next day for free agency. 343 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:13.000 I was going to be able to provide for my family. 344 00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:15.559 So that was kind of like the thing. And like 345 00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:19.279 I told my dad at a certain point too, as 346 00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:22.320 long as baseball was paying for my bills and I 347 00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:23.559 was going to be able to be out there and 348 00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:25.840 enjoy it, like I was going to keep playing. And 349 00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:28.320 so luckily I kept getting free agent deals and I 350 00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:31.240 kept getting opportunities, and I kept putting up numbers that 351 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.639 I got a chance to enjoy it. Because now, like again, 352 00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:35.320 a lot of people put so much stress on it that, 353 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:38.679 like I said, once I started enjoying it and becoming 354 00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:42.720 more grateful, I think that I had more success. And 355 00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:44.960 so I had more time when people saw that, and 356 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:48.320 I think it translated into me being more grateful, translated 357 00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:52.120 in me getting more jobs. So it made it. And 358 00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:54.639 I mean early in my career, like I said, I 359 00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:57.080 was the top prospect for the Cup. A few years, 360 00:15:57.679 --> 00:15:59.559 I was also in the top one hundred prospects. I 361 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:02.440 wanted championship in the miners with one of my teams. 362 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:04.159 Like I had a lot of success. It's just like 363 00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:06.879 I said, I don't think at that time it might 364 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:09.639 not have been my time. But also I did get 365 00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:12.519 jerked around. I felt like a lot. And so going 366 00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:15.039 through that, it just I had to rely on my 367 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:17.159 mom and my dad and my foundation a lot, which 368 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:19.440 you know I talk about in my book too, is 369 00:16:19.480 --> 00:16:21.320 the foundation that I have is my parents. And my 370 00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:23.360 mom and dad would always be like, hey, are you 371 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:25.799 enjoying it? And I'd be like, yeah, I'm enjoying everything. 372 00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:28.200 But you know, the politics of the baseball thing, and 373 00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:30.919 I would love I like, I love the guys, I 374 00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:32.960 love being out here, I love being able to travel, 375 00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:35.679 I love playing baseball. And they're like, well, don't let 376 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:39.320 that one thing overtake your whole joy of playing. And 377 00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:41.200 so I would just kind of live by that, like, 378 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:43.000 you know, that was my foundation. My mom and dad 379 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:46.200 would always tell me that, and so that was just 380 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:48.279 kind of like how I just got through everything. And 381 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:50.639 like I said, I just started. As I got older, 382 00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:52.799 and the more grateful I became of the game and 383 00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:55.240 the more I enjoyed the present moments that I was in, 384 00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:59.399 my numbers actually got better and I became, you know, 385 00:16:59.480 --> 00:17:02.240 a better person and a better player. And you know, 386 00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.039 like I said, luckily, I just kept be in chats. 387 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:10.240 And was there any one like within the game who 388 00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:13.720 was supporting you? Because you know, as you touched on 389 00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:16.200 in your answer to my previous question, you know, you're 390 00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:18.559 you're a top prospects, You're a top hundred prospects. You 391 00:17:18.839 --> 00:17:21.920 were in Triple A within eight like a fixture in 392 00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:25.720 Triple A within eighteen months of being drafted. You know, 393 00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:29.680 and everyone says, you know, progressive prospects is not linear, right, 394 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:32.079 So it's one of the whole cliches of baseball. But 395 00:17:32.599 --> 00:17:36.000 you must have at points through that needed to support 396 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:38.519 I mean, your parents obviously a huge part of that. 397 00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:41.319 But whether support networks within the game, who who you 398 00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:44.359 were leaning on, and has that changed over the course 399 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:47.000 of you know, your seventeen year career that you touched 400 00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:49.920 on the pays better. But the conditions also seem better 401 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:51.359