Speaker 1: Stue throws a little line for Daisy to get some
wine than you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, what he doesn't understand is the Daisy uh
has an iron wall eating to never screw the crew,
and he's gonna he's gonna need some big guns. I
think he's gonna need a nerf ball to break that wall.
Speaker 1: Nerf ball, water balloon, some kind of you know those
little snapping things that you throw all the kids throw
them on the ground. Yeah like that.
Speaker 2: Maybe a tooth pick. Yeah, maybe it could blow really hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could just blow real hard. I finally that's on. Hey,
it's a bad TV. What are you doing ordering a
turkey sandwich right now? What are you doing right now? Oh?
Speaker 2: One of my buddies, his kid just turned twenty one
and they went out and bought buzzballs for his twenty
fourth birthday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, shit, maybe we'll start over. No, it's fine. I
spilled a diet coke. It's fine.
Speaker 2: So that's what you get for. You should don't want
to start over. This is kind of a bad start.
Speaker 1: I'd say. No, I think this is good. Hey, we
we did a PMZP that you can find a Patreon.
That's right where I thought we weren't doing a buzzball promotion.
Speaker 2: No, no, we stopped doing buzzball promotions.
Speaker 1: But so why are we bringing up this quaint tail
of a kid? I mean, I'm being serious. I thought
that we were really not in good stand Now with
that we.
Speaker 2: Are now we've moved on to big SIPs. But I
was hoping to lure Buzzballs back. Remember I gave them
twenty four or hours.
Speaker 1: Got it? That's smart, that's smart.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Yeah, they just got acquired by a
huge company for a half a billion dollars. I'd like
to think we're a little part of that.
Speaker 1: A little m Is there any podcasts that anyways, we're
here to break down whatever episode this was of Below Deck? Yeah,
how are we feeling about this season right now?
Speaker 2: Well, dal, don't we want to do some housekeeping? We
should break the news to some of our barnacles that
probably haven't looked at their phone in three days. We're
not doing the Bachelorette. It turns out the bachelorette wanted
to turn her condo into a WWE SmackDown without telling anybody.
M hmm, yeah, kids involved, and she's a horrible person,
and she's probably gonna go to hell, but before she
hits that, she'll make a pit stop at only fans.
Speaker 1: I'm sure.
Speaker 2: So we're a vagina for five dollars a month.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe not the vagina, but definitely the nips. You
can get by with just nips. I think a lot
of people get I think.
Speaker 2: Only for like a year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then you got up your game. Yep. Uh so yeah,
we've released. It'll probably be in the feed our in
memoriam on the season that could have been, you know,
with Ruby Wren but also a chemically imbalanced uh, you know,
brought to life Ferbie Doll in Taylor Frankie Paul. I mean,
is that fucked up to say she looks so much
like a Ferbie Doll? No, a lot of people have agreed,
especially the eyebrows. It's everything, but what a disgusting rat.
And also, yeah, so all of our thoughts will be there.
It's a very messy thing.
Speaker 2: But the good news is, hey, we got plenty of
good television to recap. We got The Real Housewives of
Rhode Island, which is adjacent The Bachelor because we have
Ashley I a k a. The Crier, who was on
that season of that guy who was the bachelor and
then left the season and killed a guy.
Speaker 1: Chris, Oh, was she on that one?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, I have to say such a smart move
to kill a guy. When not to kill a guy?
Not to kill a guy. But if you do kill
a guy, Let's say you had a couple of pops
and you decide I'm the fucking batcher. I'm just gonna
drive home and kill someone.
Speaker 2: Run oh your.
Speaker 1: And no no tests, no nothing.
Speaker 2: When the police knock at your door say I need
a warrant.
Speaker 1: That worked out for him. Yeah, I mean he's going
to go to hell, yeah for sure, but he'll be
getting for eternity.
Speaker 2: Yeah he's out now though.
Speaker 1: It good for him.
Speaker 2: But yeah, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you accidentally kill someone, a lot of people
get into this kind of panicked place where their adrenaline
is going and they confess things and they own up
to think not Chris Sales. No, he took a B
line to that house. We're also covering the Valley Summerhouse. Patron. Oh,
that's Slash another podcast network, you know, guna Valley Persian style.
I'm so sad that we missed it. We got to
do next season.
Speaker 2: We'll do next season.
Speaker 1: And I'm gunna, I'm sad Persian style. All right, get
in the comments. Let us know what you thought of
the episode. What do you think of the episode below deck?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: Oh Kaylyn's here, Hello.
Speaker 2: I might give him my notts right now.
Speaker 1: No, can you talk to me about how you feel
about the season so far?
Speaker 2: I think it's going well. Yeah, yeah, I'm enjoying the
I'm enjoying Ben because he's had quite a journey so far,
because he actually touched on it. This episode, which is
his introduction into the restaurant business, was chefs throwing hot
frying pans at his head, and I think he thinks
he's dealing with these young sous chefs with kid gloves
and they're just they're they're not taking it well. And
this is going to be the second sous chef to
run up to the captain and report him to a superior, right,
That's kind of fun. And then also he's got what
do you call him, mister.
Speaker 1: Grumpet or something, Wilson Grummet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and he's got Jenna who's kind of into him.
But he's got to kind of play it coy because
he doesn't want to look like a creepy old son
of a bitch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no way to avoid that. But I'll say, you know,
when when elder statesmen speak of the training grounds of
your it's irrelevant. You know, in the Madman era, used
to be able to fire your assistant for refusing to
have sex with you, right, And it's like you could
mention that it used to be like that, but it's
completely irrelevant. We've actually improved. People aren't throwing frying pans
at each other anymore. So irrelevant.
Speaker 2: And dare I argue I think there's a I think
there's a better way to get people to deal with
stress in the work environment better, yeah than throwing hot
frying pans at there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ballistics are usually not a very relaxing thing to
have to contend with, you know, it goes to Jay.
There's this famous story of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay
pranking the cast of some movie they were on where
they had heard reports of Michael Bay flipping out of
people on set. So they decided that they were going
to get up in front of everybody and just start
screaming and start being real huge pieces of shit to people,
and everyone was just like, what are you doing? Why
are you talking to us like that? This doesn't make
any sense, is unprofessional. Now we'll get into the whole
Ellie ben thing, but I don't think he's being that
bad to her. Yea, Ellie's like I said, we'll get it.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you what happened?
Speaker 1: I think it's a mid season if you ask me,
it's a mid mid season. I get to the end
of these episodes, I go, where's the jews, where's the squeeze,
where's the fucking shit?
Speaker 2: Now, to be us, we've seen like forty two of
these seasons, Matt. I mean, come on, it's hard to
the scale? Is the bar is high for us to
see something new? And to be fair to ou, I
mean she in her childhood played a one sided game
of dodgeball with.
Speaker 1: Scud missiles right dodge missiles right, So she I think
she's triggered is the word the kids use.
Speaker 2: But anyway, to answer your question, I'm enjoying the season
so far, and I enjoyed this episode. I've I'm curious
about who gets fired because I'm pretty sure someone's gonna
get fired right now. I think it might be right
now if the bet the betting markets or Alisha or
potentially the balk and Biscuit for that move that she
made walking in front of the guests, all huffy and puffy.
Speaker 1: Yeah you think, yeah, yeah, they're gonna get rid of
another fucking Galley had.
Speaker 2: Imagine throwing Alicia back down.
Speaker 1: I would love that. Okay, so how many pots?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it fourteen.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it a fourteen as well. I thought
it was really fun. I love I love Mark. I
love a man who identifies a mark and goes, you
know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bleed this pasty
white man dry. Oh yeah, I'm gonna take my sister
out of poverty, and I'm gonna fucking sail on yachts.
I'm gonna bring all my friends, and yeah, I'll let
him tuck into me. But you know, it's the price
of admission, that's right. Love the Love, the hustle, continuing
to love Jenna and Ellie. You know we're big fans
of Alley. Ellie's you know, a bit of a nutbag sometimes,
so am I though all of us are, all of
us are nutbags. Sometimes you snap, you lose control of
your faculties. That's it, We've all done it. We didn't
even sell veggies after you know, winning, dare I say
a game of dodge missile? That's really you know, we've
had it easy. So we get back from a night
out and Jenny Jenna is still nauseated by Eddie. I
very much love blacktout Jenna because you know, speaking of
losing your faculty. She is an absolute walking zombie. But
she still has the wherewithal and the druther to go.
I'm disgusted by you and your mustache. Get away from me,
go to sleep.
Speaker 2: I will say that, though, but she's given this way
too much energy for a person that's over it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, am I right?
Speaker 2: Like from personal experience, when you're over something, you feel
no need to waste your time on it or give
it any energy any more. Like Chubby Indian girl porn.
That was a hypothetical. I don't watch porn. I'll give
a real example, a toxic relationship.
Speaker 1: Why did you do that? It didn't even make any sense.
And it's like such a personal thing. And honestly, I'm
not gonna kink shape, but I'll just say that's disgusting,
fucking not chubby Indian women. That's not what I'm saying
is disgusting. That's not what I'm saying is disgusting. You
beating off to them is disgusting.
Speaker 2: I don't watch porn. I save it from my wife. Okay,
it was a hypothetical.
Speaker 1: Yeah again, it didn't fucking make any sense. Juel throws
a little line for Daisy to get some wine, says
not thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, what he doesn't understand is the Daisy uh
has an iron wall eating to never screw the crew,
and he's gonna he's gonna need some big guns. I
think he's gonna need a nerf ball to break that wall.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nerf ball, water balloon, some kind of you know
those little snapping things that you throw all the kids
throw them on the ground. Yeah, yeah like that.
Speaker 2: Maybe a tooth pick. Yeah, maybe could blow really hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah you could just blow really hard. Yeah. Yeah, but
yeah you get fart. Yeah. It's gonna be an uphill battle, though,
is what we're saying. Jenna and Ben have a little
chat and God said, here is mom masterpiece.
Speaker 2: Hello, Austin Powers, can I say something about sitting there
in the galley like he did? He did not go
out remember he sat and drank a little wine like
Mariah Carey in a bubble bath, which I liked.
Speaker 1: Famously captured on Richard Branson's island. Mariah Carey, Yeah, she
did an episode of Cribs that was iconic. But then
she also did one I believe where she was featured
touring Richard Branson's island as a guest. As a guest. Yeah,
and it's important to mention also that Richard Branson fucked
kids and is all over the Epstein files. Oh yeah,
are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: Oh man?
Speaker 1: Yeah. By the way, Jalen was telling me that before
we fired it up. I was right, I'm you know what,
I'm honestly like, it's a lot for it.
Speaker 2: Don't get us in trouble if that's alleged. Still, you
know what I mean, get in trouble. It's alleged, it's alleged,
but you know it's not alleged.
Speaker 1: It's important for me to say that that's alleged.
Speaker 2: This is why you got to go to our patreon.
You know who was on that island though, is Stephen Hawking. Yeah,
and I cover that in PMC because ten years ago,
that scumbag in that that nerdy little wheelchair guy. Is
that a strip club? And I have audio of him
trying to pick up on some of the working girls,
and let me just say it was very inappropriate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really weird. Pat was at a bachelor party
and went to a strip club. And I can understand
why you didn't want to, like confirm that it was
Stephen Hawking, because it's rude to go up to somebody
who's that disabled and stick your maw in their gaw,
you know. But yeah, it's it's this sounds crazy. I
know you're like, I don't know what they're talking about,
but just go to patreon dot com, Slash another podcast network.
Speaker 2: That's right.
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Speaker 2: All right, Oh wanna talk about this? So Ben did
something very calculated. He does not spend any money, waste
any time out. He knows when they're coming back, and
he also knows that that little eating area is a
walk walkway area to get to the bunks, so he's
staying there for Jen Jenna. Oh, okay, I had a roommate,
which all my friends nicknamed Scraps. He was such a scumbag. Yeah,
he would not go out to the bars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he waited.
Speaker 2: Wait until we came back from the bars at one
two in the morning, and we bring back a bunch
of girls, and and we'd all be partying, maybe watching
a movie, and then lo and behold, at about two
in the morning, Scraps would open the door, lurkout, and
he'd go, hey, what are you guys doing, And then
he'd start working himself in. I don't Therefore he earned
the name Scraps.
Speaker 1: He must have had good game, though, because it's such
a it's very good looking. It's such a creepy position
to take, and you don't have the context with the
women you're coming in In the seventh inning, Ice.
Speaker 2: Cold agreed, but it doesn't hurt to be a newbie
because you're fresh meat.
Speaker 1: So oh, that's a really good point.
Speaker 2: It works for him.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Eddie walks by and pats Jenna's head, rubs it,
and then professes his love for Jenna. You know, we
spoke of Scraps, who seems like a real cocksman, somebody
who really understood the rule book. Talk to me about
Eddie's failure to gameplay. I mean, this guy's lost.
Speaker 2: He sucks. I mean his only gameplay now is what
he essentially plans on relying on, which is just stay
away from her, be yourself, and hope to god. She
gets drunk one night and starts feeling affection for you
again and has a renewed interest in you. But that's
the only play.
Speaker 1: Sure, and that is a very common play in this world.
It's really the main play. You just sit wait for
the kind of psych word shit to go over to strike,
and then everyone starts making love. Ellie, as we know,
was bombed and sold vegetables, and she wants to be
called by her name, and she atches a conversation with
Juau about this. Now, this is a twofold effort that
cannot be pulled off. Ellie is trying to flirt with Joo.
As we've discussed, she wants him to inseminate her. But
you cannot try to progress an effort of insemination via
an HR. Hey, I'd like your advice on a a
work environment thing. You know, Ellie's not presenting sexuality here.
She's presenting like I'm having a trouble in the workplace thing.
But she's attempting to exude sexuality or flirt in some way,
and it's really, really bizarre and it doesn't work well.
Speaker 2: She's presenting as a damsel in distress, sir, And so
this is for him to step in and help. And boy,
some real solid advice here. I think he had to
probably go look at some literature to read up on this,
He says, why didn't she tell him?
Speaker 1: Well, as simple as that advice is, she does not
follow said advice. She waits and then she snaps.
Speaker 2: She does talk to him one time, doesn't she I
don't think she meant no, You're right, I take that back.
Speaker 1: No, all right, So Alicia apologizes for losing the helmet,
and then we get into the kitchen the next morning,
four hours before the charter, Ben says that he needs
to find himself. He's not really operating at one hundred
percent this morning. So what he's going to do four
hours before the just head outside take a quick dip. Now,
the problem with that is that it's insane. Period. Second
problem with that is if he told Ellie last night, Hey,
I'm gonna go take a massive glass of cab to
the face and draw a bubble bath. And because I'm
doing that, you can stay in early or you can
come in late. And that's not the case. She comes
in at the same time she always does, and he says,
Oh glad you're here. I'm gonna go swimming. It's not
Oh okay, Kaitlin, correct, correct.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you what's happening here. This is what
happens when you're a fan favorite and you've been on
the show technically in the lore of the Below Deck
world for a number of years. There's a sense of entitlement.
Speaker 1: Are you a fan of Ben?
Speaker 2: No, I'm not. I just whenever I mock him, people
get in the comments and go, you know, he's kind
of respecting the world. And by the way, your friend
k Chastein's gonna be pissed about how do you talk
about him? And I don't care.
Speaker 1: No, No, we are unbridled. We have no bits in
our mouth. No one can steer us any way, shape
or form.
Speaker 2: And that's why we're the number one show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta say, though, I love the Above Deck Ladies.
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a show in Australia that's pretty good too.
There's two girls that do it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're good too. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: That new oven arrives and it's as beautiful as Ben's
dead mother who's still alive.
Speaker 1: What was that again?
Speaker 2: Remember he said, is that oven that broke?
Speaker 1: Was? Oh, like his mom does, she's not dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It confused the audience last week, just as much
as him serving that lobster spring roll fifteen times. I
think you pointed out, very confusing.
Speaker 1: We'll see that again, Mark my words. All right, let's
get to a preference sheet and it's time for a
preferend shape Man four, a charter once in a lifetime
celebration where their love there being Mark and Clay who
are getting kind of hitched for real. Way to go,
Way to go Mark, you know as sugar baby, Way
to go Mark.
Speaker 2: Later on, sorry to jump the head though. Yeah, when
he tells his sister that he's gay, I don't.
Speaker 1: Even think that was what they were talking about. No, No,
I think his sister was like, I can't believe you're
fleecing this guy. This is so unbelievable. We're so poking.
We're on a yacht now.
Speaker 2: Because I was like, oh, I wish we got there earlier.
When he told her he was gay, because she's like
confused and she's like, what the fuck is up? And
he's like, you look, come on, you know, I don't
talk like that. I just got to hit all this
guy's money.
Speaker 1: No, no, no. Him coming out is like ed gain and
someone's skin saying I did it. Oh okay. It's like
it's like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. Yeah no,
I know, I know you did. You're covered in another
person's skin. I assume you killed that in person, so
you're talking about yeah. All right. Anyways, so they've got
a four day charter coming up, way too long for
this show.
Speaker 2: I have to tell you why. It's we get sick
of the charter guests sometimes. What they did in seasons
past where the guests would do charter this long, is
they literally skip over entire days of the charter.
Speaker 1: We saw that last season, I think, where we were
just fast forward through a day.
Speaker 2: And the other part is we don't get the sea
rats night out, where obviously we always get hyjaens. Yep.
Speaker 1: You have to strike the balance on the show. The
balance is important. We need a pie chart, right, We
need the food, we need the mistakes, we need the
the guests. We need the ball.
Speaker 2: It's like that fucking train that keeps going around and
it's powered and has all those people on it. There's
the poor people in the back that eat the cot
That's right, right, that's what this show is. It's snow
piercer how so well, like you just explained it.
Speaker 1: Hey, did you start watching Age of fucking Illusion or
whatever the fuck it is?
Speaker 2: Age of Attraction? Watched all the episodes is I love it.
It's very slow in the sense that it is very
much like love is blind. It's two people that should
not be together or multiple couples in any stretch of
the imagination, and then it slows down. You meet their
family and their friends. It's very uncomfortable, but you're just
staring at two people and you're going, how the fuck
do you two people think you're gonna make it?
Speaker 1: Nick files like.
Speaker 2: He doesn't really talk. It's his wife. She runs the show.
He is horrible on television. I know he's pretty to
look at, but he is not good on TV?
Speaker 1: Is his wife good on TV? Even shrill? Cold monster?
Speaker 2: You can tell she's taken classes, and you can tell
she by the way you want to talk about using someone? Yeah,
he does not know he is a mark. Do you
think she's with you, you idiot? You're fucking twenty years
older than her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excited for the family law to take to
get their fucking talents in that one that's coming anyways. Oh,
let's get back to it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah. So Daisy says she's kind of
nervous because of the.
Speaker 1: Whole calen What do you think do you think Nick
Vile's gonna get divorced to his wife on the Vile
Files podcast. I'd put money on it.
Speaker 2: Okay, everyone hates him, all right. So Daisy's nervous because
of this whole wedding day thing they have to pull off, right,
It's because she says it's going to be the most
important day of their lives. Her words, not mine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now, I'm just gonna say this. You can leave your
thirty second birthday with a theme like cowboy hats and
hot dogs. You can leave that up to sea rats. Okay,
cowboy hats and hot dogs, you know, like a theme.
They have a lot of stupid themes, you know, But
don't leave the most important thing of anything up to
goddamn sea rats. They'll fuck it up. They almost killed
someone three charters ago, am I right?
Speaker 1: We're not even kidding about that. It sounds like we're joking,
and we are, but it's very serious. They almost killed
someone mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And now they're gonna pull off a wedding.
Speaker 1: Daisy has a little chat with Ben about Ellie because
Ellie comes to Daisy, which inspires Ben to go chat
with Ellie. Now Ben has not faced down a Bosnian
aka Slovakian woman whatever she is.
Speaker 2: It's played a one sided game of dodgeball with missiles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called dodge missile.
Speaker 2: A dodge missile. Sorry, sorry, hey, I do want to
I don't what do you not get? I want to
say this. I want to back up for one second.
I because I bust Daisy's balls a lot, right. This
was very sweet of her, and I guess the balk
and Biscuit didn't get the memo. Daisy framed her talk
with Ben as though she was an observer to this behavior, yes,
as opposed to throwing like she told me this and
that was very sweet of days.
Speaker 1: Credit where credit's do yeah for you? That was really
really lovely.
Speaker 2: Okay. Then Ben sits down with Ellie and then the
first thing that comes out of her mouth is like, yeah,
this is what's been pissing me off about you, as
though she's been telling the entire boat about how much
she hates your behavior. Ben.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, he had no other thing to do than
apologize and fold because he'd been drawing himself himself bubble
baths and swimming. So he, you know, he goes, you know,
I'll work on it, and I apologize for leaving in
the lurch like that. Now we've still got the sweetie,
the booboo, the honey tits, that kind of thing, which
is simmering over now. Juel and Daisy talk about what
they're gonna do after after the charter, and they they
talk about how nobody fucking gets them, you know, nobody
fucking They haven't had any successful relation ship yet, and
there's there's definite, definitely some undertones there, but unfortunately Juwau
has to conquer an impenetrable edict and we're not sure
how he's going to. You know, we theorized that it
would be with you know, you know one of those
McDonald's happy meals things where you just you they're they're
like these little figurine you throw it at, knock it down.
Maybe a polgo stick. We're not sure how high the
wall is.
Speaker 2: No, I how about you just look at it for
a little while. I think very hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, right right right, yeah yeah. And that hypothetical
Juau is like that little Oracle kid from the Matrix,
you know when that started getting weird?
Speaker 2: Oh I hate the Matrix, the second one, the third
one and whatever piece of ship Netflix.
Speaker 1: The oracle is a is a The oracle is a
black black woman. But then there was like kid right
who was in Caitlin am I right on the bending
the spoon? Yeah, he's spending the spoon? Was that one
of the oracle's pupils? Anyways?
Speaker 2: Those were bad, two different oracles. By the way, the
woman who was in part two she died of cancer,
so they replaced her, which also confused me. I hate
those the second and third one. They didn't need to
get made no, it made no sense.
Speaker 1: It made no sense. I mean, we've got the fucking
We've got the little the little data kid and the
cute old Asian man going around trying to open up
all the doors, the key master. What the fuck? I'm
just going on the CGI. Sorry, we'll get back to
the show in one second. But the CGI in the
first one is, you know, it's two than it's nineteen
ninety nine. But so it's not great. Somehow it gets worse,
just so much worse. Jar Jar Binks was right, Yeah,
I mean when he's fighting all the age and spensh
You're like, what this looks like Wallace and Grame. It's crazy.
Speaker 2: It was horrible. Okay, Now back to Daisy. Yeah, yeah, okay.
They're feeling each other out here though, that's what this
whole line of questioning is about. And he learned when
he learns that she loves jerks, yeah, he's like, wow,
and old Patty here, I heard wedding bills, kidding. I
heard their private parts smacking each other.
Speaker 1: You heard the cops getting cold?
Speaker 2: Well yeah, then I heard arguing, and then lots of cigarettes,
which I don't think makes sound, but oh no, you can.
Speaker 1: Hear them, especially when you're talking to a smoker. You're
really enjoying that cigarette, are you?
Speaker 2: Golly?
Speaker 1: You know? And the craziest thing is that the fourth
matrix was I think about Matrix.
Speaker 2: Yes, those guys really lost their fastballs. I'm sorry they're girls.
They both turned to girls testicles. Let's move on you
like that one?
Speaker 1: Yeah he did. He's very transphobic, that's why he was laughing,
like you should fire him. All right, So Alicia left
all the fucking towels in all I love Alisha. She's
just like, you know, I'm really actually quite stressed out.
I'm actually going to leave trash everywhere for the paying guts.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Okay, So one of the women the guests arrive. One
of the women is dressed in what is one of
the more absurd hats I've seen in some time. I
don't watch the Kentucky Derby. That's the Mecca.
Speaker 2: Right around the corner, by the way, is it really Yeah,
it's on Ruby's wedding day. I was gonna go, but
of course it's more important to go to my sister's wedding.
Speaker 1: You weren't gonna go.
Speaker 2: I was thinking of going.
Speaker 1: You weren't even thinking of going.
Speaker 2: I was going to go to a place where we
were going to watch it on the screen.
Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, I don't even buy that, but I can,
you know, we can at least have a conversation. I
was going to go to the Kentucky Derby. Hilarious. Okay,
One of the women arrived in the Kentucky Derby hat.
We have a little bit of an issue right out
of the gate. Though there's a Maxi path, there's a
sanitary product adhered I mean really adhered to the side
of this cabinet.
Speaker 2: What jokester did that? By the way, if you want
to hear a great story of Patty finding his own
version of a Kouchie liner in my bathroom, go to
our summerhouse.
Speaker 1: Ye, summer house.
Speaker 2: There's a true story. The Patty was in his own
bathroom and I found a Kuchie liner in there.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, you found a sanitary napkin. That's right, that
was a plump. I mean, I can't even imagine. It's
fine finding your wife's that's not a big deal. But strangers,
is that someone you don't know that I'll never forget it.
Speaker 2: I know exactly how that charter guess felt.
Speaker 1: Well, not really, because this one was just stuck to
the wall. The one you found was actually you know,
it had drank from the watering hole. Is that a
way to describe it? Sorry? Fuck? Can I say why
did we need to bring that up?
Speaker 2: Because I'm trying to promote our Patreon Hey, can I
say why this is important to find a cooochi liner?
And you could just say, look, can you do me
a favor.
Speaker 1: We're not going to talk about it much longer. Can
you call it something else?
Speaker 2: Get ready to No?
Speaker 1: No, just call it what they called it. Call it
what everyone they call it, a panty liner.
Speaker 2: The panty line is what would be perceived as a tell.
So did you ever hear the story where Van Hallen
and their rider you no help ask the venue that
they were going to perform in front of twenty thousand
people to remove all the brown eminems from their thing.
It's not that they liked eminem's. It's not that they
hated brown eminems. It would be the first thing in
their rider. So when they showed up to their guest
thing where the food would be, they'd looked at the
thing of eminems and they'd see a bunch of brown eminems.
They'd realize they never read the rider, and then they'd
be concerned about their crew. Well, if they didn't fucking
read this, then they didn't hang the sound speakers the
right way. Someone might get killed here right when you
see the what do we call it? That means they
didn't clean the toilet bowl property. That means like there
might be some semen somewhere. You can't trust anything. These
goddamn sea rats did. They overlooked everything.
Speaker 1: These guests were so cool about this, cool about it.
Speaker 2: I was a little un nervous, how panicked the initial
charter guess was? I thought that was like she was
treating it as like a fore alarm fire. Well, you
would have thought that thing had eyes and was going
to try and eat her.
Speaker 1: I I think if you're in the in the service environment,
if you go into a hotel and you're paying a
lot of money and there's a fucking koucie whatever on
on the wall or the cat, that's I would fucking
raise hell. You know, one of my favorite things to
do call and complain. Get upgraded in two seconds after that.
All right, So we talk about that and it's gross.
Speaker 2: Do you want to know what's in a paper plane?
Speaker 1: I know what's in a paper plane?
Speaker 2: Tell me because I have it in front of it.
Speaker 1: I know it's apparol. That's what gives it orange? Ye?
Was it is it? Uh?
Speaker 2: There's a couple of things I can't even pronounce. A quintessentia.
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and an armora no Nino announces I'm tomorrow. Yeah,
I'm amorrow. And then is a gin that might be
with this version of quintest, said Sentia is.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's kind of a gross drink.
Speaker 2: And also it says the highest proof of bourbon they have.
Speaker 1: Oh it's bourbon, yeah, bourbon and apaol and a mark.
I don't want that. That's that's a lot of nuttiness.
And it's orange.
Speaker 2: Created in two thousand and eight by some mixologists for
a contest.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's pretty iconic. It's pretty iconic. But I
don't know what these people are doing. You have to
treat sea rats like a dive bar. Oh yeah, let's
go with the gin. I'm happy with gin and tonics. Okay,
we're not doing a last word here. I'm not ordering
a last word with sea rats.
Speaker 2: How about hand them a piece of paper with the
ingredients on it.
Speaker 1: That's fine, but still it's it's like, you know, you
have to be able to feel the rhythm of the cocktail.
It's not gonna happen with these people anyways. They order
a paper plane. Alicia has no idea what's going on.
Ben continues to call Ellie Boo boo and Sweetie and whatnot.
And one of the guys slides down the slide the
wrong way. Clay does a scuba motorcycle thing. There's something
something tells me that everyone on this charter is Mark's friend.
And then Clay is just paying for everything and waiting
to just crack one off at night. But he doesn't
seem like he's having the best time. Yeah, anyway, so
he's a sweet guy. There's a one do you.
Speaker 2: Remember that sucker? It was like three seasons ago he
paid to paid for friends. Do you remember that guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little bit. And he was just like, so
tell me about yourself. It's like, what do you How
do you not know these people?
Speaker 2: I know? He just was really sad he was buying friends. God,
it's almost like this guy, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, listen, he's in love. He's in love. One of
the women is twerking outside.
Speaker 2: I never saw a twerking result in head trauma.
Speaker 1: I've seen it all the time. Tworking is a very
very dangerous thing to do. That's why I don't do it. Okay,
But she twerks, h she twerks, and she falls and
she is I believe concussed.
Speaker 2: You know what's interesting is poor Eddie. Right before her
uh her head hit that wall, he said, do you
need help? And very uh, very rudely, she said.
Speaker 1: No, uh huh.
Speaker 2: He must there must be a small part of him
as a human that enjoyed her head smashing against that wall.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Sea Red's love. When the paying guests
are harmed, it's just part of the part of the thing.
Let's get to Pride night. The Queen has arrived, Mark Marcus,
the Queen clays the Mark. This is just for me.
And that one guy said he's twenty four. That was shocking.
He's a big guy. He's twenty four years old.
Speaker 2: I I know he could have been forty.
Speaker 1: Muscles. Let's get to let's get to.
Speaker 2: Let's get to dinner. By the way, ended abruptly, very quick.
I yes, please tell me what the hell happened here?
Speaker 1: Muscles and clams monette. I don't know what this dish is.
It looks like a tomato based something. It's French, which
I don't usually associate tomato based things with French cuisine.
But that's fine. This was a lovely way to start
the meal. Let's put a little parsley on top. Let's
garnish the dish somehow and not just serve a bucket
full of shellfish boiled open, once alive and now ready
to be consumed. It's just kind of a I don't know,
necrotic looking plate. I give it two pots. Wow. Then
we get to the mahi. Mahi steamed or baked to
a kind of translucent jellied eel kind of look. It's
adorned with a little bit of pineapple salsa, but there's
nothing really esthetically to round out what is a gray
square of flesh. And that's that's dinner. That's what dinner is.
It's just muscles, clams, and a piece of mahi. Now,
one of the guests says, I just want one mahi,
which I thought was actually a pretty cute joke. You know,
I was at dinner the other night and I said.
The waitress said, does anybody have any allergies? And I said,
I was a little stoned, and I was looking at
the menu and I just said not today. I don't
even know why I said that. Boy, she said, that's
a really weird answer. I go, you know, what service
in Los Angeles, it's just like what happened.
Speaker 2: Well, this kind of it's ever been good here. It's
good at like four places.
Speaker 1: It's really good at like four places. God damn man,
everybody's just got four arm tattoos in an attitude everyone,
it's crazy. You know who doesn't have an attitude? The
Hispanic people that are working at like, you know, like
Millie's Cafe and stuff. Those guys don't fuck around. But
you know, you get somebody named Jade or Tanner, then
you're you're fucked. They're gonna spit in your food anyways.
Speaker 2: And everyone's fucking miserable too. Like they hate. They clearly hate.
They don't hide that they hate their job.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, uh so at least game, I
know that you wrote a book for men to learn
how to close ass for no money. Ellie needs help
on how to close a dude. What's your favorite dessert?
I would be sure to make that for you.
Speaker 2: What Yeah, I got to help her out.
Speaker 1: We're doing a lemon meringue cheesecake. We're not gonna make that.
That's it feels very like sixth grade love. Like Jua
is not interested in that. He wants to spit in
someone's face. Yeah, you know, because the lemon merangue cheesecake
is going to be made at some point, and then
I can see this happening where Juel eats it and
then he thanks her, and then nothing really happens, and
then she's pissed off and closed off.
Speaker 2: And you know, well, here's the thing with the Balkan
Biscuit is it's not that she can't get a good guy,
a guy in general of one, whatever she's looking for,
it's he He's going for the wrong guy. These are
emotionally unavailable guys that Joe and Joel.
Speaker 1: Joe and Joel. Yeah, not good, not a good track record.
You're better than that, Bulk and Biscuit. All right, So
let's get to the next morning. Mike asks for an omelet,
and I should have brought this up at the top
of the show. And you know, I don't know if
he listens or if the sea rets. You know how
many searets listen. But like we mentioned, we are unbridled.
I am not a fan of Mike in any way,
shape or form. I think he's a gossipy little bitch.
I think he's a mean little bit. And I think
that uh, the lip Fellers getting to his head, same
with the hairspray. Stop acting like a fucking weasel and
a bitch. Okay. He goes in and he asks the
chef to make him an omelet, and Ben says, no,
I'm not doing that, and Alisha, in a panicked way,
pulls him aside and goes, dude, don't do that now.
Alisha has been in this industry for a while and
she's worked hand in hand with Ben, so she knows
don't fucking do that. He turns around like a real
housewife and goes into the galley and says, Ben, guess
what she just told me? That I can't ever ask
you for an omelet? Is that true? And it's very awkward.
She leaves, and then he relays what Alicia did to
Daisy in the most dishonest way you could possibly imagine.
He says that she came up to him and she's
essentially screamed, don't ever do that again. Not a fan
of this guy. Buck the fuck up.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Jemy's still out with old Patty here.
But I will say it's it was a tone issue
when you're when your peer comes at you when you're
not expecting it. I think it's okay for Ben to
say get the fuck out something like that. Well, when
you're not expecting it for your peer to kind of
come at you that way, it kind of jars you
a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think the tone was that bad, and
I maybe.
Speaker 2: Pull him aside and politely share that information, like, hey,
this is kind of maybe you didn't know, but that's
kind of a no.
Speaker 1: No. Would you drag a woman in front of another
a head of department and then rat her out in
front of him? Would you ever do something like that? No? No, Kaylen,
I don't think Kaylen would. I would not. No, I
don't think he would. So I'm not jury's jury's what
is it in? The jury's out for me? See, I've
been a fan at all.
Speaker 2: See I put this and we're going to talk about
Beverly Hills with Ruby later on. I factor in a
lot of this of immaturity with people. I mean, the
Sea Rats are a little.
Speaker 1: Bit younger, Yeah there, young Yeah, all right. Mark talks
with his sister, Like we mentioned, he tells her evidently
that he came out. I don't think that's what the
conversation was. They were talking about poverty levels. I believe,
and I think she's just really really grateful of this
gambit that he's he's pulled off. Yeah, you made it,
you made it all right.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say then uh he walks away and
he uh, this is a good moment with but two.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, her bumming us out about the Muslim world.
Speaker 2: Again, Well, it's not necessarily I guess some parts you know,
there's it's not you know some parts of that. Uh,
there's bad and good things about every religion, right, yeah,
Well she tells him.
Speaker 1: No, totally, there is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so she tells him, Well, he tells her. He's like, hey,
I'm gay, and she goes, oh, man bummer, Uh my dad,
he wouldn't have been a fan of that, and neither
would have my entire country. They wouldn't have been big
fancy you being gay with your husband. Yeah, and he said,
oh fucking I'm downplaying it. They would have thrown you
off a roof.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's important to note that they
they I don't know that they would. But it's also
like Istanbul, So we're not talking about we're not talking
about Ramadi. We're just talking about one of the and
we don't need to get into it, but we're not,
she said, she's talking about the Castro district of the muzzle.
They weren't fans, Yeah, they weren't fans, all right. So
Mike learns that there is no toilet paper, goes in
and blows everyone's spot on. He's a. He's a.
Speaker 2: He's a and he enjoyed it. Yeah, he enjoyed it.
By the way, with this toilet paper. This was I
watched this happen the basics of making sure a room
or a hotel worker to make sure that toilet paper,
new fresh role is there for new guests. I said
to myself, they're gonna fucking nail this wedding.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, and things are already starting off
really well because we're getting charcuterie in order for the
big night. I think I'm not sure if it's tonight
or not, but I think it is. And uh, Ellie
tells Ben that he needs to go.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, I was getting scared in this galley when
this started happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Ellie tells Ben that they need to carry them.
They're momentum through. They need to get their regimen in order.
They need to organize, and Ben needs to go get
in his chef's coat to present an air of professionalism
in the galley. If I was Ben, forget Boo Boo,
forget Sweetye Pie, I'd say, shut the fuck up. Okay.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is possible with humans. I
guess this is when we maybe turned into robots. Something
I would have like unzipped her head and opened it
up and let the steam come out right right, because
she I was I honestly I had anxiety watching this.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was scared what she could do to him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well what she does is she snaps.
So Ben comes in in the garments that she's told
him to wear, and he says, we are a little
bit behind, and she says, well, if you had fucking
told me to prioritize differently, we wouldn't be in this peasi.
We need to calm down. He says, honey, it's half
an hour before dinner and you need to work faster.
And she says, my name is Elena or Ellie. Don't
ever fucking call me honey ever again, and don't ever
fucking speak to me. The way that he spoke to
her was that he insinuated that she needs to hurry
the fuck up. It was Caddie. It's the way Ben speaks. Also,
this is where I'll give the you know, the older
professional class a little bit of credit. We're not throwing
frying pans at each other's heads, but we're certainly not
flipping out about this, right okay. And at this point,
Ellie storms up to go find Captain Jason to tell
him that the head chef of this boat told me
to go faster on the charcuterriing plan. Now she's gonna
get into a litt little bit of trouble when Jason says, okay, well,
is there anything else? And she's going to say that
he keeps calling her sweetye Pie, and he's going to
ask her, did you talk to him about it, to
which she's either got to lie or just say no.
So Ellie may be in a little bit of danger.
I hope we don't lose the may neither. We love
the Balkan Biscuit and we love you. Get in the
comments let us know what you thought about the episode.
To join us at Patreon for Summer House and Rhode
Island coming up. Also The Valley coming to bed TV.
We love you guys very much I'm doing, Say a book, Kaylen.
Then the