Speaker 1: Section ten of the Best Coast Stories. This is the
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Speaker 1: The Best Coast Stories The Rival Ghosts by Brander Matthews.
Speaker 1: The good Ship sped on her way across the calm Atlantic.
Speaker 1: It was an outward passage, according to the little charts
Speaker 1: which the company had charily distributed, but most of the
Speaker 1: passengers were homeward bound after a summer of rest and recreation,
Speaker 1: and they were counting the days before they might hope
Speaker 1: to see fire island light. On the least side of
Speaker 1: the boat, comfortably sheltered from the wind, and just by
Speaker 1: the door of the captain's room, which was theirs during
Speaker 1: the day, sat a little group of returning Americans. The Duchess.
Speaker 1: She was down on the purser's list as Missus Martin,
Speaker 1: but a friends and familiars called her the Duchess of
Speaker 1: Washington Square and baby vandren Cellier. She was quite old
Speaker 1: enough to vote, had her sex been entitled to that duty,
Speaker 1: but as the younger of two sisters, she was still
Speaker 1: the baby of the family. The Duchess and Baby Vandreyn
Speaker 1: Cellier were discussing the pleasant English voice and the not
Speaker 1: unpleasant English accent of a manly young lordling who was
Speaker 1: going to America for sport. Uncle Larry and Dear Jones
Speaker 1: were enticing each other into a bed on the ship's
Speaker 1: run of the Morrow. I'll give you two to one.
Speaker 1: She don't make four hundred and twenty, said Dear Jones.
Speaker 1: I'll take it, answered Uncle Larry. We made four hundred
Speaker 1: twenty seven the fifth day last year. It was Uncle
Speaker 1: Larry's seventeenth visit to Europe, and this was therefore his
Speaker 1: thirty fourth voyage. And when did you get in, asked
Speaker 1: Baby Vandryn Celia. I don't care a bit about the run,
Speaker 1: so long as you get in soon. We crossed the
Speaker 1: bar Sunday night, just seven days after we left Queenstown,
Speaker 1: and we dropped Anchor off quarantine at three o'clock on
Speaker 1: Monday morning. I hope we shan't do that this time.
Speaker 1: I can't seem to sleep any when the boat stops.
Speaker 1: I can, but I didn't, continued Uncle Larry, because my
Speaker 1: state room was the most forward in the boat, and
Speaker 1: the donkey engine that let down the anchor was right
Speaker 1: over my head. So you got up and saw the
Speaker 1: sunrise over the bay, said dear Jones, with the electric
Speaker 1: lights of the city dwinkling in the distance, and the
Speaker 1: first faint flush of the door in the east just
Speaker 1: over Fort Lafayete, and the rosy tinged which spread softly upward.
Speaker 1: And did you both come back together, asked the Duchess.
Speaker 1: Because he has crossed thirty four times, you must not
Speaker 1: suppose that he has monopoly in sunrises, retorted dear Jones. No,
Speaker 1: this was my own sunrise, and a mighty pretty one.
Speaker 1: It was too. I am not matching sunrises with you,
Speaker 1: remarked Uncle Larry calmly. But I am willing to back
Speaker 1: a merry jest called forth by my sunrise against any
Speaker 1: two merry jests called forth by yours. I confess reluctantly
Speaker 1: that my sunrise evoke no merry just at all. Dear
Speaker 1: Jones was an honest man and would scorn to invent
Speaker 1: a merry jest on the spur of the moment. That's
Speaker 1: why my sunrise has the call, said Uncle Larry complacently.
Speaker 1: What was the merry chest? Was baby vandering celliers inquiry
Speaker 1: the natural result of a feminine curiosity thus artistically excited. Well,
Speaker 1: here it is. I was standing aft near a patriotic
Speaker 1: American and wandering Irishman, and the patriotic American rashly declared
Speaker 1: that you couldn't see a sunrise like that anywhere in Europe.
Speaker 1: And this gave the irish Man his chance, and he said, sure,
Speaker 1: you don't have a marror till we are through with
Speaker 1: them over there. It is true, said dear Jones thoughtfully,
Speaker 1: that they do have some things over there better than
Speaker 1: we do, for instance, umbrellas and gowns, added the Duchess,
Speaker 1: and antiquities. This was Uncle Larry's contribution. And we do
Speaker 1: have some things so much better in America, protested baby
Speaker 1: Bandit clear as yet uncorrupted by any worship of the
Speaker 1: effete monarchies of despotic Europe. We make lots of things
Speaker 1: a great delicer than you can get them in Europe,
Speaker 1: especially ice cream and pretty girls, added dear Jones. But
Speaker 1: he did not look at her, and Spooks remarked Uncle
Speaker 1: Larry casually Spooks worried the Duchess. Spooks I maintained the
Speaker 1: word ghosts if you like that better, or specters, we
Speaker 1: turn out the best quality of spook. You forget the
Speaker 1: lovely ghost stories about the Rhine and the Black Forest,
Speaker 1: interrupted Miss van deren celier with feminine inconsistency. I remember
Speaker 1: the Rhine and the Black Forest and all the other
Speaker 1: haunts of elves and fairies and hobgoblins. But for good,
Speaker 1: honest spooks, there is no place like home. And what
Speaker 1: differentiates are spook spiritus americanus from the ordinary ghost of
Speaker 1: literature is that it responds to the American sense of humor.
Speaker 1: Tell irving stories, for example, the Headless Horseman. That's a
Speaker 1: comic ghost story, and Rid van Winkel consider what humor,
Speaker 1: and what good humor there is in the telling of
Speaker 1: his meeting with the goblin crew of Henry Hudson's Men.
Speaker 1: A still better example of this American way of dealing
Speaker 1: with legend and mystery is the marvelous Tale of the
Speaker 1: Rival Ghosts. The rival ghosts queried the Duchess and baby
Speaker 1: van deren Celer together. Who were they? Didn't I ever
Speaker 1: tell you about them? Answered Uncle Larry, a gleam of approach,
Speaker 1: joy flashing from his eye. Since he is bound to
Speaker 1: tell us sooner or later, we'd better be designed and
Speaker 1: hear it now, said, dear Jones. If you're not more eager,
Speaker 1: I won't tell it at all. Oh do Uncle Larry,
Speaker 1: You know, I just don't on ghost stories, Pa did
Speaker 1: Baby Vander and Cellier. Once upon a time began, Uncle Larry.
Speaker 1: In fact, a very few years ago, there lived in
Speaker 1: the thriving town of New York a young American called Duncan.
Speaker 1: Eliphalit Duncan, like his name, he was half Yankee and
Speaker 1: half Scotch, and naturally he was a lawyer and had
Speaker 1: come to New York to make his way. His father
Speaker 1: was a Scotchman who had come over and settled in
Speaker 1: Boston and married a Salem girl. When Eliphalet Duncan was
Speaker 1: about twenty, he lost both of his parents. His father
Speaker 1: left him with enough money to give him a start
Speaker 1: and a strong feeling of pride in his Cotch birth.
Speaker 1: You see, there was a title in the family in Scotland,
Speaker 1: and although Eli Fladdet's father was the younger son of
Speaker 1: a younger son, yet he always remembered and always bade
Speaker 1: his only son to remember that his ancestry was noble.
Speaker 1: His mother left him her full share of Yante great
Speaker 1: and a little house in Salem, which has belonged to
Speaker 1: her family for more than two hundred years. She was
Speaker 1: a Hitchcock, and the Hitchcocks had been settled in Salem
Speaker 1: since the year one. It was a great great grandfather
Speaker 1: of mister Eliphalet Hitchcock, who was foremost in the time
Speaker 1: of the Salem witchcraft craze. And this little old house,
Speaker 1: which left to my friend Eliphallet Duncan, was haunted by
Speaker 1: the ghost of one of the witches. Of course, interrupted
Speaker 1: dear Jones. Now how could it be the ghost of
Speaker 1: a witch? Since the witches were all burned at the stake.
Speaker 1: You never heard of anybody who was burned having a ghost,
Speaker 1: did you. That's an argument in favor of cremation at
Speaker 1: any rate, replied Jones, evading the direct question. It is
Speaker 1: if it don't like ghosts, I'll do, said baby van
Speaker 1: Ra and Celia, and so do I added Uncle Larry.
Speaker 1: I love a ghost as dearly as an englishman loves
Speaker 1: the lot. Go on with your story, said the Duchess, majestically,
Speaker 1: overruling all Extralli's discussion. This little old house at Salem
Speaker 1: was haunted, resumed Uncle Larry. And by a very distinguished ghost,
Speaker 1: or at least by a ghost with very remarkable attributes.
Speaker 1: What was he like? Asked Bibby vandern Cellier, with the
Speaker 1: premonitory shiver of anticipatory delight. It had a lot of peculiarities.
Speaker 1: In the first place, it never appeared to the master
Speaker 1: of the house. Mostly it confined its visitations to unwelcome guests.
Speaker 1: In the course of the last hundred years, it had
Speaker 1: frightened away four successive mothers in law, while never intruding
Speaker 1: on the head of the household. I guess that ghost
Speaker 1: had been one of the boys when he was alive
Speaker 1: and in the flesh. This was dear Jones's contribution to
Speaker 1: the telling of the tale. In the second place, continued
Speaker 1: Uncle Larry. It never frightened anybody the first time it appeared.
Speaker 1: Only on the second visit were the ghost yers scared.
Speaker 1: But then they was great enough for twice, and they
Speaker 1: rarely mustered up courage enough to risk a third interview.
Speaker 1: One of the most curious characteristics of this well meaning
Speaker 1: spook was that it had no face, or at least
Speaker 1: that nobody ever saw its face. Perhaps he kept his countenance, wailed,
Speaker 1: uried the Duchess, who was big to remember that she
Speaker 1: never did like ghost stories. That was what I was
Speaker 1: never able to find out. I have asked several people
Speaker 1: who saw the ghost, and none of them could tell
Speaker 1: me anything about its face. And yet while in its presence,
Speaker 1: they never noticed its futures, and never remarked on their
Speaker 1: absence or concealment. It was only afterward, when they tried
Speaker 1: to recall calmly all the circumstances of meeting with the
Speaker 1: mysterious stranger, that they became aware that they had not
Speaker 1: seen its face. And they could not say whether the
Speaker 1: features were covered, or whether they were wanting, or what
Speaker 1: the trouble was. They knew only that the face was
Speaker 1: never seen, and no matter how often they might see it,
Speaker 1: they never fathomed this mystery. To this day, nobody knows
Speaker 1: whether the ghost which used to haunt the little old
Speaker 1: house in Salem had a face, or what manner or
Speaker 1: face it had. How awfully weird, said baby Vander and Cillier,
Speaker 1: And why did the ghost go away? I haven't said
Speaker 1: it went away, answered Uncle Larry, with much dignity. But
Speaker 1: he said it used to haunt the little old house
Speaker 1: at Salem. So I suppose it had moved, didn't it?
Speaker 1: You shall be told in due time. Eliphalat Duncan used
Speaker 1: to spend most of his summer vacations at Salem, and
Speaker 1: the ghost never bothered him at all, for he was
Speaker 1: the master of the house. Much to his disgust too,
Speaker 1: because he wanted to see for himself the mysterious tenant
Speaker 1: at will of his property. But he never saw it. Never.
Speaker 1: He arranged with friends to call him whenever it might appear,
Speaker 1: and he slept in the next room with the door open.
Speaker 1: And yet when their frightened cries begged him, the ghost
Speaker 1: was gone, and his only reward was to hear reproachful
Speaker 1: sighs as soon as he went back to bed. You see,
Speaker 1: the ghost thought it was not fear of eliphalet to
Speaker 1: see an introduction which was plainly unwelcome. Dear Jones interrupted
Speaker 1: the story teller by getting up and tucking a heavy
Speaker 1: rug snugly around baby vandon Celer's feet, for the sky
Speaker 1: was now overcast at gray, and the air was damp
Speaker 1: and penetrating. When fine spring morning pursued, Uncle Larry eliphalat
Speaker 1: Duncan received great news. I told you that there was
Speaker 1: a title in the family in Scotland, and that Eliphallet's
Speaker 1: father was the younger son of a younger son. Well,
Speaker 1: it happened that all Eliphallet's fathers, brothers and uncles had
Speaker 1: died off without mainly Chu except the eldest son of
Speaker 1: the eldest and he, of course both the title and
Speaker 1: was Baron Duncan of Duncan. Now the great news that
Speaker 1: Eliphallet Duncan received in New York one fine spring morning
Speaker 1: was that Baron Duncan and his only son had been
Speaker 1: yachting in the heavy days, and they had been caught
Speaker 1: in a black squall, and they were both dead. So
Speaker 1: my friend Eliphallet Duncan inherited the title and the estates.
Speaker 1: How romantic, said the Duchess. So he was a baron, well,
Speaker 1: answered Uncle Larry. He was a baron if he chose,
Speaker 1: But he didn't choose more fool he said, dear Jones, sententiously.
Speaker 1: Well answered Uncle Larry, I am not so sure of that.
Speaker 1: You see, Eliphalat Duncan was half Scotch and half Yankee,
Speaker 1: and he had two eyes. To the main chance, he
Speaker 1: held his tongue about his windfall of luck until he
Speaker 1: could find out whether the Scotch estates were enough to
Speaker 1: keep up the Scotch title. He soon discovered that they
Speaker 1: were not, and that the late Lord Duncan, having married money,
Speaker 1: kept up such state as he could out of the
Speaker 1: revenues of the dowry of Lady Duncan and Eli Fallat.
Speaker 1: He decided that he would rather be a well fed
Speaker 1: lawyer in New York, living comfortably on his practice, than
Speaker 1: a starving lord in Scotland living scantily on his title.
Speaker 1: But he kept his title, asked the Duchess, well, answered
Speaker 1: Uncle Larry. He kept it quiet. I knew it, and
Speaker 1: a friend or two more. But Eliphalet was a sight
Speaker 1: too smart to put Baron Duncan of Duncan, attorney and
Speaker 1: counselor at law, on his shingle. What has all this
Speaker 1: got to do with your ghost, asked dear Jones pertinently
Speaker 1: Nothing with that ghost, but a good deal with another ghost.
Speaker 1: Eliphalet was very learned in spirit lore, perhaps because he
Speaker 1: owned the haunted House at Salem, perhaps because he was
Speaker 1: a Scotchman by dissent at all events. He had made
Speaker 1: a special study of the raids and white ladies and
Speaker 1: banshees and bogies of all kinds, whose sayings and doings
Speaker 1: and warnings are recorded in the annals of Scottish nobility.
Speaker 1: In fact, he was acquainted with the habits of every
Speaker 1: reputable spook in the Scotch peerage, and he knew that
Speaker 1: there was a Duncan ghost attached to the person of
Speaker 1: the holder of the title of Baron Duncan of Duncan.
Speaker 1: So besides being the owner of a haunted house in Salem,
Speaker 1: he was also a haunted man in Scotland. Asked they
Speaker 1: be wandering celier? Just so? But the Scotch ghost was
Speaker 1: not unpleasant like the Salem ghost, although it had one
Speaker 1: peculiarity in common with its Transatlantic fellow spook. It never
Speaker 1: appeared to the holder of the title, just as the
Speaker 1: other never was visible to the owner of the house.
Speaker 1: In fact, the Duncan ghost was never seen at all.
Speaker 1: It was a guardian angel only. Its sole duty was
Speaker 1: to be in a personal attendance of Baron Duncan of
Speaker 1: Duncan and to warn him of impending evil. The traditions
Speaker 1: of the house told that the Barons of Duncan had
Speaker 1: again and again felt a premonition of ill fortune. Some
Speaker 1: of them had yielded and withdrawn from the venture they
Speaker 1: had undertaken, and it had failed dismally. Some had been
Speaker 1: obstinate and had hardened their hearts and had gotten reckless
Speaker 1: of defeat and to death. In no case had a
Speaker 1: Lord Duncan been exposed to peril without fear warning. Then
Speaker 1: how came it that the father and son were lost
Speaker 1: in the yacht of the Hebrides, ask Dear Jones, because
Speaker 1: they were too enlightened to yield to superstition, yet is
Speaker 1: extent now A letter of Lord Duncan writurned to his
Speaker 1: wife a few minutes before he and his son set sail,
Speaker 1: in which he tells her how hard he has had
Speaker 1: to struggle with an almost overmastering desire to give up
Speaker 1: the trip. Had he obeyed the friendly warning of the
Speaker 1: family ghost, the latter would have spared a journey across
Speaker 1: the Atlantic. If the coast leave Scotland for America as
Speaker 1: soon as the old parent died, asked Bobby vanden Celeiar
Speaker 1: with much interest, how did he come over, queried Dear
Speaker 1: Jones in the steerage or as a cabin passenger? I
Speaker 1: don't know, answered Uncle Larry Calmly and Eliphalle didn't know.
Speaker 1: For as he was in no danger and stood in
Speaker 1: no need of warning, he couldn't tell whether the ghost
Speaker 1: was on duty or not. Of course, he was on
Speaker 1: the watch for it all the time, but he never
Speaker 1: got any proof of its presence until he went down
Speaker 1: to the little old house of Salem just before the
Speaker 1: fourth of July. He took a friend down with him,
Speaker 1: a young fellow who had been in the regular army
Speaker 1: since the day Fort Sumter was fired on, and who
Speaker 1: thought that after the four years of the little unpleasantness
Speaker 1: down south, including six months in Libby, and after ten
Speaker 1: years of fighting the bad Indians on the plains, he
Speaker 1: wasn't likely to be much frightened by a ghost. Well,
Speaker 1: Eli Faalet and the officer sat out on the porch
Speaker 1: all the evening, smoking and talking over points in military law.
Speaker 1: A little after twelve o'clock, just as they began to
Speaker 1: think it was about time to turn in, they heard
Speaker 1: the most ghastly noise in the house. It wasn't a
Speaker 1: shriek or a howl, or a yell or anything they
Speaker 1: could put a name to. It was an undeterminate inexplicable
Speaker 1: shiver and shudder of sound which went wailing out of
Speaker 1: the window. The officer had been at Cold Harbor, but
Speaker 1: he felt himself getting colder this time. Any phallit knew
Speaker 1: it was the ghost who had haunted the house. As
Speaker 1: this weird sound died away, it was followed by another shah,
Speaker 1: blood curdling in its intensity. Something in this cry seemed
Speaker 1: familiar to Eli Fallat, and he felt sure that it
Speaker 1: proceeded from the family ghost. The warning wraiths of the Duncans.
Speaker 1: Do I understand you to intimate that both ghosts were
Speaker 1: there together? Inquired the Duchess anxiously. Both of them were there,
Speaker 1: answered Uncle Larry. You see, one of them belonged to
Speaker 1: the house and had to be there all the time,
Speaker 1: and the other was attached to the person of Baron
Speaker 1: Duncan and had to follow him there wherever he was.
Speaker 1: There was the ghost also, But Ellie Fallat he had
Speaker 1: scarcely time to think this out when he heard both
Speaker 1: sounds again, not one after another, but both together, and
Speaker 1: something told him, some sort of an instinct he had
Speaker 1: that those two ghosts didn't agree, didn't get on together,
Speaker 1: didn't exactly hit it off. In fact, they were quarreling.
Speaker 1: Quarreling ghosts. Well, I never was, baby vandren Celia's remark,
Speaker 1: It is a blessed thing to see ghosts dwell together
Speaker 1: in unity, said Beard Jones, and the duchess added, it
Speaker 1: would certainly be setting a better example. You know, resumed
Speaker 1: Uncle learly, that two waves of light or of sound
Speaker 1: may interfere and produce darkness or silence. So it was
Speaker 1: with these rivals books they interfered, but they did not
Speaker 1: produce silence or darkness. On the contrary, as soon as
Speaker 1: Eliphalet and the officer went into the house, there began
Speaker 1: at once a series of spiritualistics manifestations, a regular dark seance,
Speaker 1: a tambourine was played upon, a bell was rung, and
Speaker 1: a flaming banjo went singing around the room. Where did
Speaker 1: they get the banjo, asked dear Jones spectacally. I don't
Speaker 1: know materialized it maybe just as they did the tambourine.
Speaker 1: You don't suppose A quiet New York lawyer kept a
Speaker 1: stalk of musical instruments large enough to fit out a
Speaker 1: strolling minstrel troop, just on the chance of a pair
Speaker 1: of ghosts coming to give him a surprise party. Do
Speaker 1: you every spook has its own instrument of torture. Angels
Speaker 1: play on the harps. I am informed, and spirits delight
Speaker 1: in banjos and tambourines. These books of Eliphile Duncans were
Speaker 1: ghosts with all modern improvements, and I guess they were
Speaker 1: capable of providing their own musical weapons at all events.
Speaker 1: They had them there in the little old house at Salem.
Speaker 1: The knight, Eliphalet and his friend came down, and they
Speaker 1: played on them, and they rang the bell, and they
Speaker 1: wrapped here, there and everywhere, and they kept it up
Speaker 1: all night, all night, asked the Austrican Duchess. All night long,
Speaker 1: said Uncle Larry, solemnly. And the next night too, Eliphalet
Speaker 1: did not get a wink of sleep, neither did his friend.
Speaker 1: On the second night the house ghost was seen by
Speaker 1: the officer. On the third night it showed itself again,
Speaker 1: And the next morning the officer packed his gripsack and
Speaker 1: took the first train to Boston. He was a New Yorker,
Speaker 1: but he said he'd sooner go to Boston than see
Speaker 1: that ghost again. Eliphalad he wasn't scared at all. Partly
Speaker 1: because he never saw either the Domicillery or the Titulius book,
Speaker 1: and partly because he felt himself on friendly terms with
Speaker 1: the spirit world and didn't scare easily. But after losing
Speaker 1: three nights sleep and the society of his friend, he
Speaker 1: began to be a little impatient, and to think that
Speaker 1: the thing had gone far enough. You see, While in
Speaker 1: a way he was fond of ghosts, yet he liked
Speaker 1: them best one at a time, two ghosts were one
Speaker 1: too many. He wasn't bent on making a collection of spooks.
Speaker 1: He and one ghost were a company, but he and
Speaker 1: two ghosts were a crowd. What did he do, asked
Speaker 1: baby vandren celier. Well, he couldn't do anything. He waited
Speaker 1: a while, hoping they would get tired, but he got
Speaker 1: tired out first. You see, it comes natural to a
Speaker 1: spook to sleep in the daytime, but a man wants
Speaker 1: to sleep nights, and they wouldn't let him sleep nights.
Speaker 1: They kept on wrangling and quarreling incessantly. They manifested, and
Speaker 1: the darks he anced as regularly as the old clock
Speaker 1: on the stairs struck twelve. They wrapped, and they rang bells,
Speaker 1: and they banged the tambourine, and they threw the flaming
Speaker 1: banjo about the house, and worse than all, they swore.
Speaker 1: I did not know that spirits were addicted to bad language,
Speaker 1: said the Duchess. How did he know they were swearing?
Speaker 1: Could he hear them, asked dear Jones. That was just it, responded,
Speaker 1: and he could not hear them, at least not distinctly.
Speaker 1: There were inarticulate murmurs and stifled rumblings, But the impression
Speaker 1: produced on him was that they were swearing. If they
Speaker 1: had only sworn right out, he would not have minded
Speaker 1: it so much, because he would have known the worst.
Speaker 1: But the feeling that the air was full of suppressed
Speaker 1: profanity was very wearing, and after standing it for a week,
Speaker 1: he gave up in disgust and went to the White Mountains,
Speaker 1: leaving them to fight it out, I suppose, interjected Baby
Speaker 1: Vanner and Cellier. Not at all, explained Uncle Larry. They
Speaker 1: could not quarrel unless he was present. You see, he
Speaker 1: could not leave the tittullia ghoest behind him, and the
Speaker 1: domicillary ghost could not leave the house. When he went away,
Speaker 1: he took the family ghost with him, leaving the house
Speaker 1: ghost behind now, spooks can't quarrel when they are a
Speaker 1: hundred miles apart any more than men can. And what
Speaker 1: happened afterward, asked Bobby Vandy and Cilier with the pretty impatience.
Speaker 1: A most marvelous thing happened. Eliphala Duncan went to the
Speaker 1: White Mountains, and in the car of the railroad that
Speaker 1: runs to the top of Mount Washington, he met a
Speaker 1: lassmate whom he had not seen for years, And this
Speaker 1: classmate introduced Duncan to his sister. And the sister was
Speaker 1: a remarkably pretty girl, and Duncan fell in love with
Speaker 1: her at first sight, And by the time he got
Speaker 1: to the top of Mount Washington, he was so deep
Speaker 1: in love that he began to consider his own unworthiness
Speaker 1: and to wonder whether she might ever be induced to
Speaker 1: care for him a little, ever so little. I don't
Speaker 1: think that it is so marvelous a thing, said dear Jones,
Speaker 1: glancing at Baby Vander and Cilier. Who was she, asked
Speaker 1: the duchess who had once lived in Philadelphia. She was
Speaker 1: Miss Kitty Sutton of San Francisco, and she was a
Speaker 1: daughter of old Judge Sutton of the firm of Prixley
Speaker 1: and Sutton, a very respectable family, assented the Duchess. I
Speaker 1: hope she wasn't a daughter of that loud and vulgar
Speaker 1: old missus Sutton, whom I met at Saratoga one summer
Speaker 1: four or five years ago, said dear Jones. Probably she was.
Speaker 1: She was a horrid old woman. The boys used to
Speaker 1: call her mother Gorgan. Pretty kitty Sutton with whom Eliphalat
Speaker 1: Duncan had fallen in love, was the daughter of mother Gorgan.
Speaker 1: But he never saw the mother, who was in Frisco,
Speaker 1: or Los Angeles, or Santa Fe or somewhere out west.
Speaker 1: And he saw a great deal of the daughter who
Speaker 1: was up in the White Mountains. She was traveling with
Speaker 1: her brother and his wife, and as the journeyed from
Speaker 1: hotel to hotel, then convent with them and filled out,
Speaker 1: they courtet. Before the end of the summer, he began
Speaker 1: to think about proposing. Of course, he had lots of chances,
Speaker 1: going on excursions as they were every day. He made
Speaker 1: up his mind to seize the first opportunity, and that
Speaker 1: very evening he took her out for a moonlight row
Speaker 1: on Lake Winnipegeogie. As he handed her into the boat,
Speaker 1: he resolved to do it, and he had a glimmer
Speaker 1: of suspicion that she knew he was going to do
Speaker 1: it too. Girls, said, dear Jones, Never go out in
Speaker 1: a rowboat at night with the young man unless you
Speaker 1: mean to accept him. Sometimes it's best to refuse him
Speaker 1: and get it over once for all, said Baby Vandon Cellier.
Speaker 1: As Eliphaler took the oars, he felt a sudden chill.
Speaker 1: He tried to shake it off, but in vain he
Speaker 1: began to have a growing consciousness of impending evil. Before
Speaker 1: he had taken ten strokes, and he was a swift horseman.
Speaker 1: He was aware of a mysterious presence between him and
Speaker 1: Miss Sutton. Was it the guardian angel ghost warning him
Speaker 1: off the match, interrupted dear Jones. That's just what it was,
Speaker 1: said Uncle Larry, And he yielded to it and kept
Speaker 1: his peace, and rode Miss Sutton back to the hotel
Speaker 1: with his proposal unspoken. More fool he said, dear Jones.
Speaker 1: It will take more than one ghost to keep me
Speaker 1: from proposing when my mind is made up, and he
Speaker 1: looked at Baby Vander and Celia. The next morning, continued
Speaker 1: Uncle Larry eliphalet overslept himself, and when he went down
Speaker 1: to a late breakfast, he found that the Suttons had
Speaker 1: gone to New York by the morning train. He wanted
Speaker 1: to follow them at once, and again he felt the
Speaker 1: mysterious presence overpowering his will. He struggled two days, and
Speaker 1: at last he roused himself to do what he wanted
Speaker 1: in spite of the Spook. When he arrived in New York,
Speaker 1: it was late in the evening. He dressed himself hastily
Speaker 1: and went to the hotel where the Suttons put up
Speaker 1: in the hope of seeing at least her brother. The
Speaker 1: Guardian Angel fought every inch of the walk with him,
Speaker 1: until he began to wonder whether if Miss sutt were
Speaker 1: to take him, the Spook would forbid the bands At
Speaker 1: the hotel, he saw no one that night, and he
Speaker 1: went home, determined to call as early as he could
Speaker 1: the next afternoon and make an end of it. When
Speaker 1: he left his office about two o'clock the next day
Speaker 1: to learn his fate, he had not walked five blocks
Speaker 1: before he discovered the Wraith of the Duncans had withdrawn
Speaker 1: his opposition to the suit. There was no feeling of
Speaker 1: impending evil no resistance, no struggle, no consciousness of an
Speaker 1: opposing presence. Eliphalet was greatly encouraged to walk briskly to
Speaker 1: the hotel. He found me certain alone, he asked her
Speaker 1: the question and got his answer. He accepted him, of course,
Speaker 1: said Baby vandern Celium. Of course, said Uncle Larry. And
Speaker 1: while they were in the first flush of joy, swapping
Speaker 1: confidences and confessions, her brother came into the parlor with
Speaker 1: an expression of pain on his face and a telegram
Speaker 1: in his hand. The former was caused by the latter,
Speaker 1: which was from Frisco, and which announced the sudden death
Speaker 1: of Missus Sutton, their mother. And that was why the
Speaker 1: ghost no longer opposed them. Question, Dear Jones exactly, you see,
Speaker 1: the family ghost knew that Mother Gorgon was an awful
Speaker 1: obstacle to Duncan's happiness, so it warned him. But the
Speaker 1: moment the obstacle was removed, it gave its consent. At once.
Speaker 1: The fog was lowering its thick damn curtain, and it
Speaker 1: was pinging to be difficult to see from one end
Speaker 1: of the boat to the other. Dear Jones tightened the
Speaker 1: rug which enwrapped Baby Wandon Sillier, and then withdrew again
Speaker 1: into his own substantial coverings. Uncle Larry paused in his
Speaker 1: story long enough to light another of the tiny cigars
Speaker 1: he always moved. I infer that Lord Duncan the Duchess,
Speaker 1: was scrupulous in the bestow of titles, saw no more
Speaker 1: of the ghosts after he was married. He never saw
Speaker 1: them at all at any time, either before or since.
Speaker 1: But they came very near breaking off the match, and
Speaker 1: thus breaking two young hearts. You don't mean to say
Speaker 1: that they knew any just cause or impediment why they
Speaker 1: should not forever after hold their peace, asked dear Jones,
Speaker 1: How could a coast, or even two ghosts keep a
Speaker 1: girl from marrying the man she loved? This was Baby
Speaker 1: vandern Celia's question. It seems curious, doesn't it. And Uncle
Speaker 1: Larry tried to warm himself by two or three sharp
Speaker 1: pulls at his fiery little cigar. And the circumstances are
Speaker 1: quite as curious as the fact itself. You see, Miss
Speaker 1: Sutton wouldn't been married for a year after her mother's death,
Speaker 1: so she and Duncan had lots of time to tell
Speaker 1: each other all they knew. Eli Phalid he got to
Speaker 1: know a good deal about the girls she went to
Speaker 1: school with, and Kitty. She learned all about his family.
Speaker 1: He didn't tell her about the title for a long time,
Speaker 1: as he wasn't one to brag, but he described to
Speaker 1: her the Little Old House at Salem, and one evening
Speaker 1: toward the end of the summer, the wedding day had
Speaker 1: been appointed for early in September, she told him that
Speaker 1: she didn't want to bridle tool at all. She just
Speaker 1: wanted to go down to the Little Old House at
Speaker 1: Salem to spend her honeymoon in peace and quiet, with
Speaker 1: nothing to do and nobody to bother them. Well, Eliphalid
Speaker 1: jumped at the suggestion. It suited him down to the ground.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, he remembered the spooks, and it
Speaker 1: noted them all of a heap. He had told her
Speaker 1: about the Duncan Banshee and the idea of having an
Speaker 1: ancestral ghost in personal attendance on her husband tickled her immensely,
Speaker 1: but he had never said anything about the ghost which
Speaker 1: haunted the Little Old House at Salem. He knew she
Speaker 1: would be frightened out of her wits if the house
Speaker 1: ghost revealed itself to her. And he saw at once
Speaker 1: that it would be impossible to go to Salem on
Speaker 1: their wedding trip. So he told her all about it,
Speaker 1: and how whenever he went to Salem, the two ghosts
Speaker 1: interfered and gave dark seances and manifested and materialized and
Speaker 1: made the place absolutely impossible. Kitty, she listened in silence,
Speaker 1: and Eliphalid he thought she had changed her mind, but
Speaker 1: she hadn't done anything of the kind. Just like a
Speaker 1: man to think she was going, to remark baby vandun Celia.
Speaker 1: She just told him she could not bear ghosts herself,
Speaker 1: but she would not marry a man who was afraid
Speaker 1: of them. Just like a girl to be so inconsistent,
Speaker 1: remarked dear Jones, unclarious. Tiny cigar had long been extinct.
Speaker 1: He lighted a new one and continued. Eliphal had protested
Speaker 1: in vain. Kitty said her mind was made up. She
Speaker 1: was determined to pass her honeymoon in the little old
Speaker 1: House at Salem, and she was equally determined not to
Speaker 1: go there as long as there were any ghosts there,
Speaker 1: until he could assure her that her spectory tenants had
Speaker 1: received notice to quit and that there was no danger
Speaker 1: of manifestations and materializing. She refused to be married at all.
Speaker 1: She did not intend to have her honeymoon interrupted by
Speaker 1: two wrangling ghosts, and the wedding could be postponed until
Speaker 1: he had made ready the house for her. She was
Speaker 1: an unreasonable young woman, said the Duchess. Well that's what
Speaker 1: Eliphallet thought, much as he was in love with her,
Speaker 1: and he believed he could talk her out of a determination,
Speaker 1: but he couldn't. She was set. And when a girlie said,
Speaker 1: there's nothing to do but yield to the inevitable, and
Speaker 1: that's just what eliphalid did. He saw he would either
Speaker 1: have to give her up or to get the ghosts out.
Speaker 1: And as he loved her and did not care for
Speaker 1: the ghosts, he resolved to tackle the ghosts. He had
Speaker 1: a clear grit, Eliphalit had. He was half Scotch and
Speaker 1: half Yankee, and neither breed turned stale in a hurry.
Speaker 1: So he made his pa and he went down to Salem.
Speaker 1: As he said good bye to Kitty, he had an
Speaker 1: impression that she was sorry she had made him go,
Speaker 1: But she kept up bravely and put a board face
Speaker 1: on it, and saw him off and went home and
Speaker 1: cried for an hour and was perfectly miserable until he
Speaker 1: came back next day. Did he succeed in trying the
Speaker 1: ghosts away? Asked Bibby van deren celier with great interest.
Speaker 1: That's just what I'm coming to, said Uncle Larry, pausing
Speaker 1: at the critical moment in the manner of the trained
Speaker 1: story teller. You see, Eliphalet had got a rather tough job,
Speaker 1: and he would gladly have had an extension of time
Speaker 1: on the contract. But he had to choose between the
Speaker 1: girl and the ghosts, and he wanted the girl. He
Speaker 1: tried to invent or remember some short and easy way
Speaker 1: with ghosts, but he couldn't. He wished that somebody had
Speaker 1: invented a specific for spooks, something that would make the
Speaker 1: ghosts come out of the house and die in the yard.
Speaker 1: He wondered if you could not tempt the ghosts to
Speaker 1: run in debt so that he might get the sheriff
Speaker 1: to help him. He wondered also whether the ghosts could
Speaker 1: not be overcome with strong drink. A dissipated spook, A
Speaker 1: spook with delirium terments might be committed to the inebriate asylum.
Speaker 1: But none of these things seemed visible. What did you do,
Speaker 1: interrupted dear Jones, the Lune Counselor please beak to the point.
Speaker 1: You will regret this unseemly haste, said Uncle Larry gravely.
Speaker 1: When you know what really happened? What was it? Uncle
Speaker 1: Larry asked Bibby Vandern celier and all impatience, and Uncle
Speaker 1: Larry proceeded. Eliphalid went down to the little old house
Speaker 1: at Salem, and as soon as the clock struck twelve,
Speaker 1: the arrival ghosts began wrangling as before, raps here, there
Speaker 1: and everywhere, ringing bells, banging tambourines, strumming banjos, sailing about
Speaker 1: the room, and all the other manifestations and materializations followed
Speaker 1: one another, just as they had the summer before. The
Speaker 1: only difference Aliphalet could detect was a stronger flavor in
Speaker 1: the spectral profanity. And this, of course was only a
Speaker 1: vague impression, for he did not actually hear a single word.
Speaker 1: He waited a violent patience, listening and watching. Of course,
Speaker 1: he never saw either of the ghosts, because neither of
Speaker 1: them could appear to him. At last, he got his dander,
Speaker 1: and he thought it was about time to interfere, so
Speaker 1: he wrapped on the table and asked for silence. As
Speaker 1: soon as he felt that the spooks were listening to him,
Speaker 1: he explained the situation to them. He told them he
Speaker 1: was in love and that he could not marry unless
Speaker 1: they vacated the house. He appealed to them as old friends,
Speaker 1: and he laid claim to their gratitude. The Titulia Ghost
Speaker 1: had been sheltered by the Duncan family for hundreds of eels,
Speaker 1: and the Domicilliery Ghost had had free lodging in the
Speaker 1: little old house at Salem for nearly two centuries. He
Speaker 1: implored them to settle their differences and to get him
Speaker 1: out of his difficulty at once. He suggested they had
Speaker 1: better fight it out then and there and see who
Speaker 1: was the master. He had brought down with him all
Speaker 1: needful weapons, and he pulled out his valleys and spread
Speaker 1: on the table a pair of navy revolvers, a pair
Speaker 1: of shot guns, a pair of duelling swords, and a
Speaker 1: couple of bowie knives. He offered to serve a second
Speaker 1: for both parties, and to give the word wind to begin.
Speaker 1: He also took out of his valleys a pack of
Speaker 1: cards and a bottle of poison, telling them that if
Speaker 1: they wished to avoid carnage, they might cut the cards
Speaker 1: to see which one should take the poison. Then he
Speaker 1: waited anxiously for their reply. For a little space there
Speaker 1: was silence. Then he became conscious of a tremulous shivering
Speaker 1: in one corner of the room, and he remembered that
Speaker 1: he had heard from that direction what sounded like a
Speaker 1: frightened sigh when he made the first suggestion of the tool.
Speaker 1: Something told him that this was the domicillary ghost, and
Speaker 1: that it was badly scared. Then he was impressed by
Speaker 1: a certain movement in the opposite corner of the room,
Speaker 1: as though the Tetulia ghosts were drawing himself up with
Speaker 1: offended dignity. Eliphalat couldn't exactly see these things, because he
Speaker 1: never saw the ghosts, but he felt them. After a
Speaker 1: silence of nearly a minute, a voice came from the
Speaker 1: corner where the family ghostood, a voice strong and full,
Speaker 1: but trembling slightly with suppressed passion. And this voice told
Speaker 1: Eliphalet it was plain enough that he had not long
Speaker 1: been the head of the Duncans, and that he had
Speaker 1: never properly considered the characteristics of his race. If now
Speaker 1: he supposed that one of his blood could draw his
Speaker 1: sword against a woman, Eliphalid said he had never suggested
Speaker 1: that the Duncan ghost should raise his hand against a woman.
Speaker 1: And all he wanted was that Duncan ghost should fight
Speaker 1: the other ghost. And then the voice told Eliphalet that
Speaker 1: the other ghost was a woman. What said, dear Jones,
Speaker 1: sitting up suddenly, you don't mean to tell me that
Speaker 1: the ghost which haunted the house was a woman? Those
Speaker 1: were the very words Eliphalet Duncan used, said Uncle Larry.
Speaker 1: But he did not need to wait for the answer.
Speaker 1: All at once he recalled the traditions about the domiciliary ghosts,
Speaker 1: and he knew that what the Titulia ghost said was
Speaker 1: the fact. He had never thought of the sex of
Speaker 1: a spook. But there was no doubt whatever that the
Speaker 1: house ghost was a woman. No sooner was this firmly
Speaker 1: fixed in Elifhalat's mind than he saw his way out
Speaker 1: of the difficulty. The ghosts must be married, for then
Speaker 1: there would be no more interference, no more quarreling, no
Speaker 1: more manifestations and materializations, no more dark seances with their
Speaker 1: wraps and bells and tambourines and banjos. At first, the
Speaker 1: ghosts would not hear of it. The voice in the
Speaker 1: honor declared that the Duncan wraith had never thought of matrimony,
Speaker 1: but Eli Fhallit argued with them, and pleaded and persuaded
Speaker 1: and coaxed and dwelt on the advantages of matrimony. He
Speaker 1: had to confess, of course, that he did not know
Speaker 1: how to get a clergyman to marry them. But the
Speaker 1: voice from the corner gravely told him that there need
Speaker 1: be no difficulty in regard to that, as there was
Speaker 1: no lack of spiritual chaplains. Then, for the first time,
Speaker 1: the house ghost spoke in a low, clear, gentle voice
Speaker 1: and with a quaint, old fashioned New England accent, which
Speaker 1: contrasted sharply with the broad Scotch speech of the family ghost.
Speaker 1: She said that Eliphalet Duncan seemed to have forgotten that
Speaker 1: she was married, but this did not upset Eliphallet at all.
Speaker 1: He remembered the whole case clearly, and he told her
Speaker 1: she was not a married ghost, but a widow, since
Speaker 1: her husband had been hung for murdering her. That the
Speaker 1: Duncan ghost drew attention to the greate disparity of their ages,
Speaker 1: saying that he was nearly four hundred and fifty years old,
Speaker 1: while she was purely two hundred. But Eliphalet had not
Speaker 1: talked to Julie for nothing. He just buckled to and
Speaker 1: coaxed those posts into matrimony. Afterward he came to the
Speaker 1: conclusion that they were willing to be coaxed, But at
Speaker 1: the time he thought he had pretty hard work to
Speaker 1: convince them of the advantages of the plan. Did you succeed,
Speaker 1: asked Bibby vandern Celiar, with the young lady's interest in matrimony.
Speaker 1: He did, said Uncle Larry. He talked the wraith of
Speaker 1: the Duncans and the specter of the little old House
Speaker 1: at Salem into a matrimonial engagement, and from the time
Speaker 1: they were engaged he had no more trouble with them.
Speaker 1: They were rival ghosts no longer. They were married by
Speaker 1: the spiritual Chaplain the same day that Eliphalet Duncan met
Speaker 1: Kitty Sutton in front of the railing of Gracechurch, ghostly
Speaker 1: bride and bridegroom went away at once on their bridal tour,
Speaker 1: and Lord and Deady Duncan went down to the little
Speaker 1: old house at Salem to pass their honeymoon. Uncle Larry
Speaker 1: stopped his tiny cigar was out again. The tale of
Speaker 1: the rival ghosts was told. A solemn silence fell on
Speaker 1: the little party on the deck of the Ocean steamer,
Speaker 1: broken harshly by the horse roll of the foghorn. End
Speaker 1: of section ten, read by Nushkabajadge