Speaker 1: Let me finish. This is the first time I committed
Speaker 1: a hate crime. Maybe they'll jerk my dick off or
Speaker 1: you know, like something like that. Yeah, probably we've disgusted.
Speaker 1: I'm associate Bath. You are rested my ship, any trash ship.
Speaker 1: You're worst friend. Do you want to know why you're
Speaker 1: all fucked up? Just look at the fucking proms you
Speaker 1: hang around with. You're listen to your worst friend with
Speaker 1: Shane and Matt. I'm Matt. I'm joined today by my
Speaker 1: friend and co host Shane.
Speaker 2: I'm Itchy.
Speaker 1: I saw a friend yesterday. Guy, I hadn't seen it
Speaker 1: in a long time, and he asked me like, oh,
Speaker 1: how you doing, what's going on? Blah blah blah. And
Speaker 1: I didn't throw the podcast out right away because it's
Speaker 1: I'm not you know, we're not Joe Rogan, but I
Speaker 1: never At the end he yeah, I feel shame about
Speaker 1: this thing. At the end, he was like, oh, so,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Blah blah blah, And I told
Speaker 1: him and I told him, you know, got nominated for
Speaker 1: an Avian Award. We've had on some really cool, interesting
Speaker 1: guests and he's like, how can I find you? And
Speaker 1: here I literally had to stop and go like this,
Speaker 1: I go. You can go to your worst friend dot com.
Speaker 1: You can follow us everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at
Speaker 1: worst friend cast, patreon dot com slash worst friend Cast.
Speaker 1: You get a bonus episode every week, access to everything
Speaker 1: ever recorded, entirely commercial free. And he goes okay, and
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, so Jim is probably listening
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: He made it. He made it through that whole speech.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean he looked at me like, oh fuck,
Speaker 1: this guy lost his mind in the ten years since
Speaker 1: I've seen him.
Speaker 2: But you know, he's cool. He's got a whole spiel
Speaker 2: for me. He's trying to sell me knives.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, Jim is who the fuck is Jim?
Speaker 2: Did you meet him at a bowling alley or something? No.
Speaker 1: I worked at Best Buy with him. Jim is like
Speaker 1: like when some guys go to bed, they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I hope I can wake up the Rock someday, you know,
Speaker 1: like just miraculously, whoa just freaky Friday happens. You're the Rock,
Speaker 1: and the Rock is some fucking loser somewhere. When I
Speaker 1: go to bed, I have dreams about waking up as Jim. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know, what you're thinking, this sounds gay.
Speaker 2: Or hey, sounds really good.
Speaker 1: That fuck's the thing, man, I fucking I don't know
Speaker 1: anything about Jim's fucking, but I can tell you this.
Speaker 1: Jim is one of the most handsome guys I've ever
Speaker 1: seen in my life. Good shape, athletic, whatever. Jim is
Speaker 1: the nicest guy I've ever met in my life. He's
Speaker 1: just friendly to everyone, helpful, understands what good customer services,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Is he a scientologist?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think he's religious at all. But anyway,
Speaker 1: Jim is probably listening and going, what the fuck? Uh?
Speaker 1: But Jim, you're good dude. I kept having to shoe
Speaker 1: him away. He was like picking up food. We were
Speaker 1: both picking up food at this place, and I was waiting.
Speaker 1: He just came in because I guess he had called in,
Speaker 1: and he would like put his food down. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you have a family, Like, get your food, let's walk
Speaker 1: towards the door. And he'd be talking to me and
Speaker 1: he'd put his fucking food down again.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, well he's just like stobbing at every booth,
Speaker 2: putting his food down at the old woman's table.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty much. And it was very awkward because I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to be taking you away
Speaker 1: from your family, Like, what are you doing? Go ahead,
Speaker 1: come on check. I will stand and sit and do
Speaker 1: whatever and talk to someone for fucking eight hours. If
Speaker 1: you give it to me, people have to walk away
Speaker 1: from me.
Speaker 2: Is Jim black?
Speaker 1: No, Jim is not black. I said I want to
Speaker 1: wake up as Jim.
Speaker 2: Well, and I know that's why I thought, like, I mean,
Speaker 2: you just said you want to wake up as him.
Speaker 2: You said he was smit, athletic, handsome, said he talks
Speaker 2: a lot. He kept on intruding on other people's meals.
Speaker 2: He didn't want to go off to his family.
Speaker 1: That's a good it's a nice way to obtain them, man,
Speaker 1: is man? I see how the media does it so easily.
Speaker 1: Huh Oh, Jim kept stopping to talk. Must not have
Speaker 1: wanted to go home to his wife. Wonder if there's
Speaker 1: trouble at home? Hmm interesting?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, man, the media does anything just endlessly and write,
Speaker 2: you know, like husbands. You know, I learned how to
Speaker 2: be a bumbling husband from watching bumbling idiots be husbands
Speaker 2: on television and they were spot on because I'm just
Speaker 2: as fucking bumbling.
Speaker 1: I'm not taking this political, but here is a political thing.
Speaker 1: I used to point this out to Blandrew years ago.
Speaker 1: I go conservative entertainment fucking.
Speaker 2: Sucks, yeah, hair religious and values.
Speaker 1: But not even that. Just even the the army tough
Speaker 1: guy want they suck too.
Speaker 2: They're just not good, you know, Michael Bay Marathon. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I can only make it so far. I could make
Speaker 2: it to bad boys too, probably.
Speaker 1: Well see, but they would even be exceptions. What they
Speaker 1: should have been doing years ago is dumping money into
Speaker 1: entertainment in this and that, because so much of that
Speaker 1: shit shapes culture. It really does. As much as I
Speaker 1: don't want to be the I don't blame entertainment for anything.
Speaker 1: Violent video games didn't make the Columbine kids shoot up
Speaker 1: the school to me at least, sure, But I do
Speaker 1: think things influence people, like I'm not denying. Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 2: The art influences the society influences the art influences the
Speaker 2: s It's a give and take. You know.
Speaker 1: People think art is just for like sissy's and homos
Speaker 1: and stuff, But you got to remember art is like
Speaker 1: the podcast you listen to, what sure architecture Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you make if architects start making everything look like dicks.
Speaker 1: They're gonna transition your kids that much easier.
Speaker 2: You know, bace ships look like Dick's.
Speaker 1: They really do. They really engineers? Yeah, uh, you were
Speaker 1: talking about husbands. I watched a series on Apple the
Speaker 1: other day. Jen and I had a real hell of
Speaker 1: a weekend just up to ridiculous time. No, it's like
Speaker 1: getting to the point where it's like, hey, you're almost forty.
Speaker 1: You can't do this anymore. It's like a guy who
Speaker 1: wake up drunk every day. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, hey, I like that.
Speaker 1: Hey yeah, I mean Saturday into Sunday. I went to
Speaker 1: bed at seven am on Sunday and woke up at
Speaker 1: three pm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 1: What my wife, You can't do that with a family,
Speaker 1: right she does? Well, well, you got you, so that's fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's got a fucking butler to take care of everything.
Speaker 2: But that's me. But uh yeah, they yeah that shit. Dude.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's being a parent that does it to you,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I think it is. Actually because you got
Speaker 2: to wake up and take care of the fucking kids
Speaker 2: and send them off to school so you don't get
Speaker 2: a letter from CPS. Why isn't your kid in school
Speaker 2: because I teach them at.
Speaker 1: Home and I give them his vaccines myself.
Speaker 2: It's toilet water, but but it makes them strong, make
Speaker 2: his immunes to some healthy. But anyway, it was I saying, Oh,
Speaker 2: the whole raising kids makes you more responsible? It may
Speaker 2: it really like I can't even sleep past seven am
Speaker 2: if I want to, if it's my day off, I'm
Speaker 2: usually up by five. And if I sleep in, it's
Speaker 2: seven at the latest. And I go to bed early
Speaker 2: as shit, like no later than midnight usually. And I
Speaker 2: don't know what made it change, specifically, because I was
Speaker 2: living that lifestyle. Were talking about staying up all night,
Speaker 2: sleeping a couple hours in the daytime and shit. But
Speaker 2: I stop doing that around like twenty seven.
Speaker 1: Oh how old is your kid at that point?
Speaker 2: Probably like seven or eight maybe even no, maybe I
Speaker 2: was like almost thirty. Actually, maybe I was twenty nine
Speaker 2: or thirty, because you.
Speaker 1: Gotta be more involved at that point, though, don't you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that might have been the catalyst. But
Speaker 2: for yeah, months or years even, I would work overnight
Speaker 2: all night, get off at like six or seven in
Speaker 2: the morning, get home, bring my son to school, come home,
Speaker 2: watch movies and TV and smoke weed all day and
Speaker 2: and all the time, Like, oh, I should probably go
Speaker 2: to sleep. I was probably to sleep, but I'm having
Speaker 2: a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: That's what I do every night. Man, I go I
Speaker 1: should probably go to bed. I can just get up
Speaker 1: early like a normal human and do this same thing tomorrow.
Speaker 1: This feels like free time right now.
Speaker 2: It does time so important to get that extra time. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 2: that was a big part of the motivating force, Like, oh, man,
Speaker 2: the wife's to sleep, the kids asleep, and I got
Speaker 2: six hours till the sun comes up and only three
Speaker 2: hours after that to work, you know, But I didn't care.
Speaker 2: I thought like, oh yeah, dude, I used to stay
Speaker 2: up all night watching movies. I watched the whole series
Speaker 2: of It's Always Sunny. I discovered all my favorite bands.
Speaker 2: I appreciate the time you're having, But eventually you're gonna
Speaker 2: just die.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well so are you?
Speaker 2: No I sleep normal now.
Speaker 1: You'll still eventually die.
Speaker 2: No, because I cut back to three monsters a day.
Speaker 1: Oh my mistake. Fucking I think kids pull you into
Speaker 1: a normal lifestyle, and I'm hoping they do for me,
Speaker 1: because I can't be a scumbag parent, I would feel
Speaker 1: too bad about that. I am great at self destruction.
Speaker 1: I am really really bad at letting you down.
Speaker 2: Which is a good way for you to be a parent,
Speaker 2: so you can well, it will take a while for
Speaker 2: you to realize, but eventually you're going to figure out like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, no matter what I do for this kid,
Speaker 2: I'm always gonna feel like a scumbag. Hmmm.
Speaker 1: No, I'll find a way to delude myself.
Speaker 2: Okay, you find a way to lie to yourself, you
Speaker 2: know what. You will until they become a teenager, and
Speaker 2: then you're gonna be like, oh fuck, I'm starting to
Speaker 2: see what all the shit my dad was talking about?
Speaker 1: Like what give me something?
Speaker 2: Just like you know how, like the apple doesn't fall
Speaker 2: far from the tree. And I should have listened to
Speaker 2: my dad, And if I could go back and redo
Speaker 2: everything all over again, I would have never had kids,
Speaker 2: because kids make you remind They remind you of your
Speaker 2: own death, and they remind you that you're never going
Speaker 2: to live up to the expectations you set for yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all the shit he was yelling at me when I
Speaker 2: was like, you know, thirteen fourteen in the car. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but here's the thing. Maybe you will make some progress,
Speaker 2: because I've noticed a little bit of progress. I have
Speaker 2: broken one cycle. I haven't screamed all this stuff at
Speaker 2: my kid yet.
Speaker 1: Oh you haven't. You haven't directly said it to.
Speaker 2: Him, right, Yeah, you could be listening right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well tell them sign up for the Patreon. We
Speaker 1: fucking need the money. Not your money, not to the audience.
Speaker 1: We need Deonte's money.
Speaker 2: My dad used to fucking like say. He used to
Speaker 2: always try and give me like words of wisdom, and
Speaker 2: it would always just come out horribly. For instance, when
Speaker 2: he found out that he wasn't my biological dad, his
Speaker 2: immediate advice for me was, oh, well, you know, you
Speaker 2: shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket, meaning I
Speaker 2: should go out and fuck other women and impregnate them
Speaker 2: so that way I could ensure that I had biological
Speaker 2: seed that was mine, because obviously my wife's a whore too.
Speaker 1: I think your dad was probably just applying that to
Speaker 1: all women at that point though, to be fair, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: just a broad assessment of broads.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I mean, now that I'm getting to be
Speaker 2: around a certain point in my life, I kind of
Speaker 2: see where he's.
Speaker 1: Coming from Yeah, my dad never really gave me anything emotionally,
Speaker 1: and you know what it was. It was because he
Speaker 1: hated his dad so much, which is fucked how that
Speaker 1: kind of happens. He hated how his dad was cold
Speaker 1: and his dad was violent. Standard me as a dad,
Speaker 1: your standard beatings. Dude, I don't know. I'm actually good.
Speaker 1: I'm getta can always say that I'm getting to the point. No,
Speaker 1: I kind of have the I'm getting to the point
Speaker 1: where I'm like, am I too old? Am I getting
Speaker 1: too tired? Not old? I get it? Number blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: Am I getting too tired?
Speaker 2: Baby? Kid?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Six? Yeah, that was no offense. That's not a
Speaker 1: great decision to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean whatever, he's gonna die and the girl
Speaker 2: will have to take care of the baby.
Speaker 1: You're not related to that kid at all.
Speaker 2: Huh. No, you know that's an interesting sort of familial relationship.
Speaker 2: I haven't met the kid yet. I'm gonna have to
Speaker 2: go say what's up and be like, hey, your dad
Speaker 2: says all women are horse.
Speaker 1: What if your dad was like came to you and
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I got this bitch pregnant, and you
Speaker 1: were like, whoa, that's weird and it was your mom,
Speaker 1: and your mom.
Speaker 2: Had a baby, corrected me, stuff put back in.
Speaker 1: They ammed it back in with a reverse plunger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't have to cut her open or anything.
Speaker 2: They just shot it up or pussy.
Speaker 1: Do you ever see those Japanese ones where it's like
Speaker 1: a gun They stick it in a toilet and they
Speaker 1: click it and it goes and blows everything out the
Speaker 1: other end, of course. Yeah, but that's what they would
Speaker 1: do with your mother's fucking parts.
Speaker 2: Oh that's cool that they kept them, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they saved them for later. So anyway, that kid
Speaker 1: would technically be more of a your family line that
Speaker 1: you'd always thought you were than you are. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I just wasn't sure. If I just wanted you to
Speaker 1: picture your mother getting impregnated by your dad quote unquote dad.
Speaker 2: That'd be so cool, actually, because then it'd be like.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm good to have a new brother or sister
Speaker 1: who was forty No no, no, no, no, oh cool.
Speaker 2: No, it would just it would it would make it
Speaker 2: so like, oh, my parents bally got back together.
Speaker 1: It was my fault that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I honestly have no memories of them together that
Speaker 2: I'm certain of I think I might have one memory
Speaker 2: when did they split up? Baby? When I was like one?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, so it's it's honestly, it's so fucking
Speaker 2: bizarre for me. I act, Oh, here's a fucking thought.
Speaker 1: Keep that thought. But let me ask this was your
Speaker 1: dad as you know him, still your first male figure
Speaker 1: you had in your life?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: I didn't know if your mom got remarried between like
Speaker 1: one and three or something like when your memories were starting.
Speaker 2: A lot of guys I remember that. Well, she likes
Speaker 2: our clip every week, so we use this one. But uh, anyway,
Speaker 2: what were you asking me about my dad? Oh? No,
Speaker 2: he was uh? Oh fuck? Was I gonna say about
Speaker 2: this motherfucker? Uh shit? Something about when I was little?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Oh I used to have no no shit,
Speaker 2: this is true. I used to have like upset thoughts
Speaker 2: in my head, like of like, oh my god, what
Speaker 2: if I walk in on my mom and dad fucking?
Speaker 2: And it wasn't like in like a normal sense like
Speaker 2: oh that would be gross to walk in on my
Speaker 2: parents fucking. It would be like, oh shit, I don't
Speaker 2: want them to be together. That's gross and weird. It
Speaker 2: was I always had this like this idea that they
Speaker 2: just don't go together, you know, mayde us, because I
Speaker 2: always saw my dad dating other women just constantly and
Speaker 2: they were always arguing. But I used to be like
Speaker 2: frightened of the idea of what if they decided they
Speaker 2: love each other again? And I was like, oh, shit,
Speaker 2: fucking they're gonna kill me.
Speaker 1: Like your assumption goes to the fucking murder me, because well,
Speaker 1: I'm just useless. They need to restart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was thinking, Like, Oh, they got it,
Speaker 3: They're gonna try again. Maybe maybe I'm the seed that
Speaker 3: sprouted their fucking angst and if they get rid of me,
Speaker 3: they can blossom anew.
Speaker 1: My dad never gave me advice. At least you got
Speaker 1: advice at least if it was bad advice, sure, but
Speaker 1: you can then at least recognize it and be like,
Speaker 1: don't listen to anything. I never I When I was
Speaker 1: in eighth grade, my girlfriend was cutting herself right and
Speaker 1: it upset me. It made me really fucking sad. I
Speaker 1: was crying about it. One time.
Speaker 2: I'd be mad about that, be like stop all that
Speaker 2: to yourself.
Speaker 1: It was no, it was I was sad. Okay, it
Speaker 1: was a little pussy boy, and I remember I was
Speaker 1: like crying about. My dad was like, hey, what are
Speaker 1: you fucking crying about? And I was like, I'm just
Speaker 1: upset about this, and he goes, what is it? Oh,
Speaker 1: I tell her? I told him. I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend she cuts herself. He just looks at me.
Speaker 1: He goes, is she stupid? Why does she do that?
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, like that's pretty good answer. Like if
Speaker 2: you don't know anything about like what is that cut
Speaker 2: your self disorder?
Speaker 1: They don't think that's the Yeah, clinical name bits with
Speaker 1: sad marks disorder. Let me explain my sadness. Like their
Speaker 1: Native American stripes on my fucking scarification.
Speaker 2: Ye yeah, maybe that's like brand it's similar, but it's
Speaker 2: so Imagine a tattoo, but instead of a tattoo needle,
Speaker 2: they just use a literal surge and scalpel and they
Speaker 2: just cut the living fucking ship out of you.
Speaker 1: And what is it to to uh score.
Speaker 2: Like permanent disfigurement. Yeah, they cut a piece of artwork
Speaker 2: into your skin and it's illegal in the United States.
Speaker 2: You have to go to other countries to get it done.
Speaker 2: It's fucking disgusting. It's awful. It's gross. Uh, but you
Speaker 2: know your vote if you want to have those sad marks.
Speaker 2: I think that's what those sad marks were intended to be.
Speaker 2: But then the first girl to popularize it wasn't very artistic,
Speaker 2: so she's like, oh, I just drew these lines. It's
Speaker 2: just a straight line parallel line diagram.
Speaker 1: I interviewed a girl and don't say this name, not
Speaker 1: that you'n't even know it, but I interviewed a girl
Speaker 1: for this upcoming season. And then you know, I have
Speaker 1: to pull all the promo shots and this and that
Speaker 1: and this isn't the one, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: you can see that there, And then some sad marks, oh,
Speaker 1: real sad, real sad on this girl. And then when
Speaker 1: you do the interview, you're like, oh, it's because your
Speaker 1: brain is fried.
Speaker 2: Oh so was she sad first or fried first? I
Speaker 2: don't know this fucking fried because she was sad. Haiggs
Speaker 2: dick fucking walking around look say, oh look, oh boy.
Speaker 2: It looks like she was in one of the deleited
Speaker 2: scenes from Event Horizon.
Speaker 1: It looks like she molested kids on Elm Street.
Speaker 2: It looks like she escaped a saw trap.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now she's grateful for her life.
Speaker 2: Get him back to the world now by doing fucking porn.
Speaker 1: Yeah anyway, Yeah, that was like the kind of advice
Speaker 1: I get. Or when I bought Jen's engagement ring and
Speaker 1: I went to go show him and I put it
Speaker 1: on the I put it on, that was a time
Speaker 1: when he actually the only time I believe that he
Speaker 1: ever apologized, and that's because my mom called him out
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: Oh really, what happened?
Speaker 1: Well, I went to go show him the ring. I
Speaker 1: was proud. I was like, hey, you know, I'm going
Speaker 1: to propose to this girl. I love her, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And I go to put it on the island they have,
Speaker 1: like the granite island, and the dog jumps up and
Speaker 1: I like kind of push him down, not hard, not
Speaker 1: hurt him, just like I don't want them grab in
Speaker 1: this fucking engagement ring. I'm holding it. No, I push
Speaker 1: him down. I go, oh, come on, My dad goes,
Speaker 1: don't talk that way to the dog. Don't ever talk
Speaker 1: that way to the dog. Leave the dog alone, don't
Speaker 1: bother the dog. So then at that point I was
Speaker 1: just like, I'm not like in a mood to be
Speaker 1: happy and show you this.
Speaker 2: I'm not now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just kind of closed in and I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, oh no I did. I did tell him.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I got genis ring. I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, is it a good one? Is it nice?
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it's nice. It's once she would want.
Speaker 1: He's like, okay, all right, that's good. Good job, And
Speaker 1: then he walked away, and I remember my mom called
Speaker 1: him out. She was like, that was you may not
Speaker 1: realize you did that, but that hurt him a lot
Speaker 1: me and it did. But you know, he's like, I
Speaker 1: just didn't want you to be mean to the dog.
Speaker 1: That's all. Okay. So even in the apology, it wasn't satisfactory.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's hard to be I mean it's
Speaker 2: for a guy who got the ship beat out of
Speaker 2: him every day. Yeah, it's hard to go much further
Speaker 2: than where he was at.
Speaker 1: Maybe a guy you've got the shit beat out of
Speaker 1: him as a kid, plus no attention because there were
Speaker 1: twelve kids, so the only attention he got was negative attention,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: And that's why I asked you what kind of dad
Speaker 2: you're going to be, because that's that's a dilemma. That
Speaker 2: you're going to face. It's like inevitably you're going to
Speaker 2: have aspirations and ideas like, well, I might not be perfect,
Speaker 2: but I'm going to try and do this, and I'll
Speaker 2: never ever do this under any circumstances like and then
Speaker 2: you're going to find as time goes on, you are
Speaker 2: going to fall very short of every like goal you
Speaker 2: set for yourself. And it's not because you're bad or
Speaker 2: you don't know what you're doing or anything like that.
Speaker 2: It's because we learn from our parents and whether we
Speaker 2: like it or not, that's pretty much all we know
Speaker 2: how to give back. So unless you seek, then you
Speaker 2: have to do it a lot. You know, Like I
Speaker 2: I think I said before, like therapy should be ongoing.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be your whole life, but every
Speaker 2: once in a while it kind of helps if you're
Speaker 2: going through a funk to get in and talk to
Speaker 2: somebody and air some grievances and talk about stuff to
Speaker 2: kind of get yourself focused and motivated again.
Speaker 1: If your life is going phenomenal better than you could
Speaker 1: have ever imagined, you should still see a shrink probably
Speaker 1: like four times a year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just for a checkup. You know. It's just like
Speaker 2: getting a physical sure and you're heading cough and that's
Speaker 2: like that. Really, I think the only way you can
Speaker 2: avoid the pitfalls that I'm trying to bestow before you,
Speaker 2: it's like without constantly seeking intervention. And I don't mean
Speaker 2: like checking every decision to make sure you're doing it right.
Speaker 2: I mean without like every once in a while, having
Speaker 2: a real person who can give actual advice to say,
Speaker 2: you know, I really wish I could say this. I
Speaker 2: wish I could apologize for something I said or did,
Speaker 2: But it's just like I really don't know how. As
Speaker 2: I don't know how, every time I want to, I
Speaker 2: get afraid of feeling weak or getting mad at myself
Speaker 2: and making the situation I don't know anything you desire.
Speaker 2: If you have, like something that's something you want to change,
Speaker 2: or you want to improve, or you want to make better,
Speaker 2: whatever it is, the only way you're going to do
Speaker 2: it is by talking about it with someone else. You
Speaker 2: can try a bunch of different stuff, but what you're
Speaker 2: going to find, and what I found, is that you
Speaker 2: only know how to do different stuff one way because
Speaker 2: you've only been taught to do it one day, one way.
Speaker 2: So you actually have to bring people into your problems
Speaker 2: and talk about them. And so I'm not perfect. I
Speaker 2: haven't seen my therapist in like, I don't know, six
Speaker 2: months or so, maybe a year at this point. It's
Speaker 2: been a while. But I just talked to my medicine
Speaker 2: doctor the other day and it felt kind.
Speaker 1: Of theresty it you meant it in a TP somewhere.
Speaker 2: No, we talked on zoom, you know, Larra jacking off together.
Speaker 1: I was picturing Native American your medicine doctor.
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, no, just adderall. Not enough fucking psilocybin
Speaker 2: or peyote.
Speaker 1: Yeah, take some peyote. Here, eat this, See a wolf
Speaker 1: in the sky.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But my point is, like you're you're going to
Speaker 2: see that you're going to be a lot different than
Speaker 2: your dad as a parent. But there's gonna be some
Speaker 2: things that you just you don't know how to do
Speaker 2: because you didn't have a guy to teach you how
Speaker 2: to do them in a good way. Here I'm a
Speaker 2: great example of that.
Speaker 1: Here's the only difference. Okay, it's a huge difference. You
Speaker 1: had Deontay when you were howled.
Speaker 2: Twenty two early, Yeah, twenty twenty two earliest.
Speaker 1: I'll probably have a kid. He's thirty eight years old.
Speaker 1: There is a huge amount of wisdom in those sixteen years.
Speaker 2: Appso fuso lutely, and I'm not discounting that at all.
Speaker 1: No, I agree.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the thing you can't account for is your
Speaker 2: behavior in the moment. So much of the things that,
Speaker 2: like our interactions between parents are like impulsive decisions, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, have you ever had a baby overnight at
Speaker 2: your house? Like screaming and crying and shit?
Speaker 1: Just one I got at the park one time.
Speaker 2: Right, you fucking sold that quick as you found it?
Speaker 1: Huh. I yded them into a dumpster. Here you go
Speaker 1: where you belong?
Speaker 2: Ye again?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I haven't. No I have had yeah.
Speaker 2: No, no, yeah, I'm so you will probably be much
Speaker 2: more equipped than I was. But like, that's why I
Speaker 2: said it's inevitable, because there's just going to be things
Speaker 2: that eventually, like I said before a million times, having
Speaker 2: a baby fucking rules. They don't. People who tell you
Speaker 2: it's hard to have a baby are lying. Having a
Speaker 2: baby is easy unless your baby has some fucking weird
Speaker 2: disease that makes them look funny.
Speaker 1: Oh man, they've been hitting me with this. Saint Jude's
Speaker 1: commercial with nothing but cripples and weirdos we talk about
Speaker 1: grosses me out every fucking time.
Speaker 2: Oh dude, anytime I see a kid with no eyebrows,
Speaker 2: I'm like, get it the fuck out of here, please.
Speaker 1: Uh oh boy, the juice. Now, maybe it's not Saint Jews.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's like Shriners or something. Uh sorry, go ahead,
Speaker 1: you you you no?
Speaker 2: But uh yeah, Inevitably you will reach a point where
Speaker 2: like so for me, like I thought it was gonna
Speaker 2: be hard having a baby, but then I was pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 2: Oh no, having a baby rules. This parenting shit is easy.
Speaker 2: You can fucking just leave them for hours at a
Speaker 2: time and not have to worry about anything. You know,
Speaker 2: they just sleep and then when they wake up, you
Speaker 2: smell them before they make a sound.
Speaker 1: When did it catch up to you? How old, oh man?
Speaker 2: Probably ten nine or ten. Yeah, it takes a long time.
Speaker 2: It took a long time for me to realize, like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: I thought I was good for like almost a decade,
Speaker 2: and then it slowly sunk in, like, oh fuck, I'm
Speaker 2: a lot more like I have my dad than I thought,
Speaker 2: and I have no clue what I'm fucking doing.
Speaker 1: See, I've based so much of my life around the
Speaker 1: weaknesses of my dad are my strengths. I don't have
Speaker 1: that impulse thing. I really have worked hard on not
Speaker 1: putting my fists through fucking thin wood around the house,
Speaker 1: you know, walls and fucking doors and such, and I
Speaker 1: really don't have that anymore. I'm able to think quickly
Speaker 1: in the moment, but I try not to open my
Speaker 1: mouth until I have, you know, put the thought into something.
Speaker 2: Which is a drawer.
Speaker 1: You know what I get that? You know what I
Speaker 1: get that more than you would imagine you do.
Speaker 2: Because my kid pissed an event.
Speaker 1: I have never told anybody this before. Okay, oh boy,
Speaker 1: literally never uh oh. My brother and I were younger, Uh,
Speaker 1: separate rooms and everything.
Speaker 2: We go together.
Speaker 1: I had like two or three soda bottles I got
Speaker 1: caught that I pissed in, right.
Speaker 2: Uh huh yeah, Okay, you're a gaming or something.
Speaker 1: But here's the sad No, here's here's the sad part. Uh,
Speaker 1: here's the sad part. So yeah, that's gross. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're a bad kier gross, sure, but uh, here's the
Speaker 1: sad part. My dad would get up so early, and
Speaker 1: we would be up so late that if you would
Speaker 1: go downstairs to piss. You know, this is in you know,
Speaker 1: middle school or something. If you would go downstairs to
Speaker 1: piss or something in the middle of the night, you
Speaker 1: would get like, why are you still up? What are you?
Speaker 1: And you So it wasn't like a laziness thing. It
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I got a piss, so I don't
Speaker 1: want to get in fucking trouble. I'm in trouble. You
Speaker 1: know why because it was in my bonus time. This
Speaker 1: is when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. The habit started young. Yeah, so it was.
Speaker 1: It was and I talked to my brother about it.
Speaker 1: It was strictly like we don't want to get in
Speaker 1: trouble thing.
Speaker 2: And then it was you watched each other piss in
Speaker 2: the bottle.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no. No. One time they were doing
Speaker 1: something in the like crawl space or whatever, and they
Speaker 1: found it and we got in trouble for that.
Speaker 2: Oh boy.
Speaker 1: So I've never told Jim that story. I've never told
Speaker 1: anyone that.
Speaker 2: Did you did you tell them like your parents like,
Speaker 2: but we just didn't want to wake you up?
Speaker 1: No either, wasn't Dad you didn't talk back at all. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: not to my dad, No, not at all, not until
Speaker 1: fucking my twenties.
Speaker 2: I think that just speaks to the weakness and spinelessness
Speaker 2: of my dad, because I fucking talked to my like.
Speaker 2: Maybe I was just a really bad kid, I'm I.
Speaker 2: I think it's a mix of both. But yeah, I
Speaker 2: was just a fucking little bastard, dude. I used to
Speaker 2: tell my parents I hate at them. I used to
Speaker 2: scream at them. I was a horrible fucking kid. Just
Speaker 2: completely different.
Speaker 1: Yeah I was. I was a good kid, and I
Speaker 1: would do all bad shit, but I would never get caught.
Speaker 1: My brother would get caught with everything. My brother had
Speaker 1: the younger brother syndrome where they cannot get away with anything.
Speaker 1: They get caught with everything they try and do. And
Speaker 1: either my.
Speaker 2: Kid, I'm glad he's I feel like I'm his older
Speaker 2: brother a lot of times because I'm I'm just like
Speaker 2: I mean, I wish I could be more like a dad.
Speaker 2: This is one of the things I talked to my
Speaker 2: therapist about, and I'm trying to be more of that
Speaker 2: archetypal dad figure I have in my head. But yeah,
Speaker 2: for a long time, I think I have kind of
Speaker 2: felt like an older brother, and that's kind of like
Speaker 2: a thing I think my son has picked up as well,
Speaker 2: Like he like in reference to your brother being the
Speaker 2: little brother, or my son doesn't get away with anything.
Speaker 2: He gets fucking caught for it everything, Like he just
Speaker 2: always leaves a goddamn trail of breadcrumbs right to his door.
Speaker 2: It's just it's so it's always a no brainer, and
Speaker 2: he always denies it.
Speaker 1: You know. See, I can't figure it out with you
Speaker 1: as the older brother. I think what it is is
Speaker 1: the younger brother never wants to take the steps it
Speaker 1: requires to get away with scumbaggery. They want to kind
Speaker 1: of they just saw the end result and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: let me get to that, and it's like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: There was a delicate process in your scumbaggery.
Speaker 2: I had to get I had to, yeah, And I
Speaker 2: think I learned that as a teen So I feel
Speaker 2: like I was your younger in my young years. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then as a teenager, I really learned to be
Speaker 2: sneaky and crafty. I started to get better grades and
Speaker 2: just kind of just I got a job and I
Speaker 2: just kind of took on an air of responsibility because
Speaker 2: I kind of realized, like, oh, that'll keep people off
Speaker 2: my fucking back, you know. So I feel like I
Speaker 2: developed more of that like cautious mindset as I got older.
Speaker 2: But yeah, as a kid, I was more like your brother.
Speaker 2: That's interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Because your brother never really lost that impulsivity, right, I
Speaker 2: mean he was kind of just like the same the
Speaker 2: whole time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, he drank before I did, remember I named
Speaker 1: duntil I was twenty one. I had got busted blacked
Speaker 1: out at the you know, the big name circle. You
Speaker 1: know how dangerous those circles in Jersey are. That happened
Speaker 1: before we met, right, No, I was seventeen. I think
Speaker 1: he was thirteen, Okay, so I was already known. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember.
Speaker 2: Hearing about it, but I don't remember like living through it.
Speaker 1: And he was hanging out with like fucking college kids
Speaker 1: and they got him all drunk and he had alcohol
Speaker 1: poisoning in the middle of like this busy fucking road.
Speaker 1: He passed out in the middle of the circle. So
Speaker 1: not in the middle of the road, but you.
Speaker 2: Know, shitty college kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, really to like get a twelve thirteen year
Speaker 1: old kid drunk. He must he must have been twelve
Speaker 1: because he was not in high school yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's weird, dude, I always. I mean, maybe it's
Speaker 2: just how much standards have changed. But like American Pie
Speaker 2: and Porky's and shit, it was like they committed so
Speaker 2: many crimes as a joke, you know, like sexual assault
Speaker 2: and providing alcohol to children and stuff. Yeah, real fun stuff.
Speaker 1: It's just like a racism.
Speaker 2: Racism, Yeah, just for fun. It just seems like, yeah, culturally,
Speaker 2: norms have shifted. But I feel like, as people, I
Speaker 2: think we kind of shifted too. I think that's a
Speaker 2: little like one thing I do kind of notice is
Speaker 2: like it's just a little a little bit different now,
Speaker 2: And that's just I think how culture changes. But maybe
Speaker 2: I'm a fucking old man and I'm just sounding exactly
Speaker 2: like my dad. It's dad.
Speaker 1: Do you think your dad would fuck a check like this? Uh?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe do you want to know her opinions about things?
Speaker 2: I as long as she speaks them with her mouth
Speaker 2: and not her fart hoole.
Speaker 1: You mean, like ace Ventura bend over and talk out
Speaker 1: of her asshole. Do you remember when fucking Jack Nicholson
Speaker 1: did that.
Speaker 2: Jack Nicholson talked out of his ass No, I don't
Speaker 2: remember that. Why do that?
Speaker 1: Because he was at the Oscars or something? Uh, Jack Nicholson,
Speaker 1: Who am I thinking? Jim Carrey, No, I'll just do
Speaker 1: Ace Ventura asshole talking, asshole talking. Wait a minute, Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, wait a minute, what's that?
Speaker 2: Maybe it was a golden Golden globes this event.
Speaker 1: No, it's nice.
Speaker 2: Doesn't just skip to the part with the asshole showing
Speaker 2: on Let's see you try to show you.
Speaker 1: I want to thank my fellow nominees.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jack Nicholson's talking out of his asshole.
Speaker 2: Dude, he is so fucking coked out of his mind
Speaker 2: in this clip.
Speaker 1: He's so cool. Is he Does he have a plastic
Speaker 1: bag around this hand?
Speaker 2: I think he does because he just touched his asshole.
Speaker 1: No, but yeah, I know, I know. Why is he
Speaker 1: holding the golden globe with a plastic bag?
Speaker 2: Because they were like, look, if you're going to touch
Speaker 2: your asshole on.
Speaker 1: Statue, Yeah, we only have one statue. May come after
Speaker 1: the show. Yeah, fucking Dame Judy Dench doesn't want Jack
Speaker 1: Nicholson's asshole. Heored statue.
Speaker 2: Okay, we ran it by all the other performers. Judy
Speaker 2: Densher is the only one, so everyone.
Speaker 1: Else was okay with it. Judy Densch was like, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: I won't have his shit on my hand.
Speaker 1: He's fucking bum rubbed all over the award.
Speaker 2: Was that Swedish? Judy Dench is Swedish.
Speaker 1: Now, all right, let me play this lady for you.
Speaker 1: She popped up. I'm not making this political because we'll
Speaker 1: rip a lot of people on this, but this.
Speaker 2: One looks like a crossing guard.
Speaker 1: This one was especially bad. Child free threatens the patriarch.
Speaker 1: We don't need no man. We can do everything he can't.
Speaker 1: I'm a bull lit. Taylor's on my side. I'm a
Speaker 1: bull list Maga starts to cry, I'm a bull live
Speaker 1: and Taylor's on my side, Yes she is. I'm a
Speaker 1: bull lift anyway.
Speaker 2: You know how like sometimes you're like, uh, oh man,
Speaker 2: if you just uh put ten percent more time into
Speaker 2: doing funny video shit and this and that, oh you're
Speaker 2: the blah blah blah blah blah. That's the reason I
Speaker 2: don't you scare.
Speaker 1: That's the end result.
Speaker 2: Every time I make something and I'm like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm really proud of this. I give it a day
Speaker 2: and I come back and it always looks just like that.
Speaker 2: How did I get that?
Speaker 1: You're right? I've made this video one hundred times. You're
Speaker 1: one hundred percent right. Yep. Uh. Yeah. That was just
Speaker 1: a really bad song. I don't like that, but it
Speaker 1: touched on some mix. That's kind of the talk going around,
Speaker 1: and it kind of relates to what we just talked about.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 1: I know the end result of this is going to
Speaker 1: be I don't give a shit what you do with
Speaker 1: your life. You and I both kind of feel that way.
Speaker 1: I think about a lot of shit.
Speaker 2: I don't care. I'm not saying you have to. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying that if that's what you want to do
Speaker 2: with your life, that's an option.
Speaker 1: Have you seen the debate between childless people and people
Speaker 1: with families?
Speaker 2: Oh? What is it? All the people with families? They
Speaker 2: please get do the get out thing with me?
Speaker 1: No, no, no no. Jd Vance caught shit for this
Speaker 1: the new the Vice Presidential.
Speaker 2: I finally figured it out. What that is. It's a memoir, yeah,
Speaker 2: and a film by Ron Howard. Yes, correct, written by
Speaker 2: the soon to be vice president.
Speaker 1: I don't know the poll numbers are closing.
Speaker 2: In man, what does that mean? They're like they're they're
Speaker 2: co down hard.
Speaker 1: Well, Trump was up x amount over Biden, and those
Speaker 1: numbers have closed since.
Speaker 2: Harris, like they've become nearer. I see.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right. I don't know why we got to
Speaker 1: talk like we're retarded guys close or like doing fucking
Speaker 1: robots on some futuristic ship.
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't talk politic, you know, Like, okay, alright,
Speaker 2: That's why I don't make YouTube videos either, because it
Speaker 2: all comes out sounding like fucking lib lib maga nonsense.
Speaker 1: You know. So you know when someone throws an idea
Speaker 1: out that you immediately identify like this is stupid. It
Speaker 1: is a stupid fucking idea like plates. But then okay,
Speaker 1: but then hands. What we need to be doing is
Speaker 1: stretching and flattening out our left or are non dominant hands,
Speaker 1: and that way that will act as after it has
Speaker 1: been stretched and flattened, we can curve it into a bowl.
Speaker 1: We can have it as just a flat plate.
Speaker 2: I don't know about that. Soup would be hard to
Speaker 2: eat out of a hand bowl.
Speaker 1: Not if we stretch and flatten it and then curl,
Speaker 1: it'll be enormous at that point.
Speaker 2: Oh not if we just bind our hands and those
Speaker 2: foot binders from ancient China, you know, the ones that
Speaker 2: they used for housewives up until like the nineteen forties
Speaker 2: to bind their feet into little baby's feet up. But
Speaker 2: they adn't. I don't want to make them into bowls.
Speaker 1: I would rather stretch fingers and such and then flatten.
Speaker 1: We need to stretch first and then flat. Hey, you
Speaker 1: know what, this isn't gonna happen.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: The idea, like I was saying, where you immediately go,
Speaker 1: this is a stupid idea, and then you you think
Speaker 1: about it and you go, well, there is a logic
Speaker 1: to it, right. Jd Vance came out this week and
Speaker 1: said families should get a vote for each child that
Speaker 1: the parent can designate. Now again, on the surface, I
Speaker 1: go immediately, first, Paul pause. First thought is that's fucking stupid.
Speaker 2: And then the next dumb And what if they vote
Speaker 2: for reptar.
Speaker 1: Reptile reptile gotta get the reptar?
Speaker 2: Like what if all the kids like start a TikTok and.
Speaker 1: Their parents would vote repti.
Speaker 2: And then they convinced their parents like please please, please
Speaker 2: love a repti, and then the electorals swung to reptar
Speaker 2: and then they have to create this fake dinosaur from
Speaker 2: a cartoon. Who's gonna Who's ai are they going to use?
Speaker 2: In that? They're just gonna use Tyrannosaurus rex ai. What
Speaker 2: does that even look like?
Speaker 1: Leftover Jurassic Park footage?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: No, training President on Jurassic Park verse three. Not those
Speaker 2: Chris Pratt pieces of shit.
Speaker 1: The first one was okay, the first christ okay.
Speaker 2: The second one was a fucking weird movie. Yeah, David
Speaker 2: Cronenberg movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was terrible. Then yeah they were terrible. No. Again,
Speaker 1: the logic behind it is, you know, we always talk
Speaker 1: about the shape of the country and for our children
Speaker 1: and this and that, you know, families should have more
Speaker 1: say based on the number of people that will be citizens.
Speaker 1: And again I don't agree with it. I immediately identified
Speaker 1: stupid idea, but there is a logic behind it where
Speaker 1: I go I can see that like when it Christians like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're murdering a baby for abortion, I don't really give
Speaker 1: a shit whatever, But like I don't think they're lying.
Speaker 1: I don't think they don't actually think it's murder.
Speaker 2: So that's how I know you're not a parent, because
Speaker 2: any real parent knows what a disingenuous, fucking lotus shit
Speaker 2: that is. If you want your kid voting and deciding
Speaker 2: anything about the future, you're fucking liar. You're a fucking
Speaker 2: piece of shit and a liar. And you know that
Speaker 2: your kid wants exactly the opposite of the things that
Speaker 2: you want. So if you had the kid's vote to
Speaker 2: use it, you would be voting against what they wanted,
Speaker 2: which would not be a vote at all. You would
Speaker 2: just be getting two votes, so it wouldn't represent you.
Speaker 1: Citizens.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but one of those citizens has a view that
Speaker 2: is diametrically opposed to you. They want something different, So
Speaker 2: it's not actually their vote. It's a second vote for
Speaker 2: somebody else's. It's a second chance to do but create
Speaker 2: a future that other people don't want.
Speaker 1: We take proxy away from children all the time.
Speaker 3: Or.
Speaker 2: Rights, But that's that's a right that's granted to you
Speaker 2: when you become an adult, when you become a member
Speaker 2: of society. There's a bunch of other rights that aren't
Speaker 2: granted to you when you're a child.
Speaker 1: Either, all agree this is a stupid idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy ship could fucking resign because he's an idiot.
Speaker 1: I don't know why he has to resign for that.
Speaker 1: I don't even know and resign. You wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about Kamala Harris dancing.
Speaker 2: I believe, Oh yeah, dude, what is she gonna do?
Speaker 2: Dance our way through every war?
Speaker 1: You've seen this ship, folks, Let me play this video.
Speaker 1: This is a compilation of her dancing.
Speaker 2: Popping her those pink pants.
Speaker 1: It was that was the one you didn't like, right, especially.
Speaker 2: I actually liked that one a lot.
Speaker 1: This makes it look like she's got such a fupa,
Speaker 1: though I understand it's just she's sixty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, six year old bitch has got a fupa.
Speaker 1: No, not all of them.
Speaker 2: Oh dude. If they're good at fucking, they do.
Speaker 1: I don't think the dancing's fair.
Speaker 2: What do you mean you think she's cheating?
Speaker 1: No, I think she's half Bollywood, half Harlem, Like, obviously
Speaker 1: she's gonna be the best dancer. We shouldn't mean this
Speaker 1: is a dance competition. Trump does that thing where he's
Speaker 1: jerking the dicks off.
Speaker 2: According to Marr, I love his jerk dance. I think
Speaker 2: I I think I said that before Bill. We're gonna
Speaker 2: have to check the logs on patreon dot com slash
Speaker 2: worst friend cast. But either way, I do think she's
Speaker 2: good at dancing. But I think, just solely based on
Speaker 2: this compilation alone, she's getting mighty close to overdoing it.
Speaker 2: She's like already tearing on the line and they haven't
Speaker 2: even won the fucking election yet. Who's that guy? Where's
Speaker 2: her husband? I thought her husband's quite.
Speaker 1: No he is, No, that's her husband.
Speaker 2: I think, how is she a part of all these
Speaker 2: dance What does that called them?
Speaker 1: How many events has she been at where there's just
Speaker 1: mass dancing?
Speaker 2: What is that called a flash mob? It looks like
Speaker 2: it looks like she's a flash mob coordinator. If I
Speaker 2: didn't know any better, I wouldn't know she was a politician.
Speaker 2: Jujit just choreographed flash mobs.
Speaker 1: There's two different versions of flash mobs. There's the ones
Speaker 1: where it all breaks out into a dance, and then
Speaker 1: there's the one where wah wah gets destroyed and burned
Speaker 1: to the ground.
Speaker 2: There's one that might end in your life. That's a
Speaker 2: little bit of a Bollywood move. I guess you're right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's half Bollywood, half Harlem.
Speaker 2: Oh dude, the Republicans can't win. Huh. They were mad
Speaker 2: about JD. Vance's wife for being Indian, and they got
Speaker 2: the vice president now soon to be president. On the
Speaker 2: other side, what are they gonna do? Either way? They
Speaker 2: got a fucking Indian winning, anna do?
Speaker 1: We don't know?
Speaker 2: Ray says, either way, you're stuck with a fucking Indian.
Speaker 1: What's the meme I've been seeing going around? It says
Speaker 1: a uh libs justifying voting for a cop, and then
Speaker 1: it says conservative or uh yeah, conservatives justifying voting for
Speaker 1: a felon, And it's just it's funny, true, is No.
Speaker 2: It is funny because I agree, like it is super
Speaker 2: ironic that Kamala locked up like how many black people.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, she is a good dancer,
Speaker 2: so maybe a fair point people up and you know, like,
Speaker 2: you know, not looking out for the community that she
Speaker 2: claims to have been a part of and struggled with,
Speaker 2: maybe you know, actually harming them systematically systemically through her
Speaker 2: career and her rhetoric and her position of power. Maybe
Speaker 2: that was actually a good thing because now our president
Speaker 2: will win them dance battles.
Speaker 1: Well, we watched that guy. A couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: who's running for shit? Uh? He had the theory that, like, hey,
Speaker 1: we don't need war anymore, I'll fucking throw down with
Speaker 1: any world leader.
Speaker 2: Oh I love that idea. I think that's so fucking cool. Dude.
Speaker 2: I would love to watch Putin fight Kim Jong un,
Speaker 2: but they're friends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's uh, you know, with Kamala we could
Speaker 1: win dance offs, but then I feel like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, she'd lose fucking punch offfs though well.
Speaker 1: And eventually the Congo would just be running the world
Speaker 1: if everything came down to dance offs, Like I don't know, well, I.
Speaker 2: Mean the Greeks were onto something they used to have,
Speaker 2: like ten day fuck fests.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then weren't they fucking boys in the ass? Generally?
Speaker 2: No, not always so it was. It was sometimes though, right,
Speaker 2: it was more nuanced than that.
Speaker 1: Bad enough, There you go.
Speaker 2: They were also supposed to mentor the boy after fucking
Speaker 2: them in, before fucking.
Speaker 1: Groom them more.
Speaker 2: Glad to be a man and not suree like sheer
Speaker 2: sheep or or so cock fabric. Yeah, suck cock is
Speaker 2: a fucking cocksucker boy in the market cooksucker boy.
Speaker 1: That was my nickname.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cocksucker ball Aye.
Speaker 1: That was my nickname at my job. They would call
Speaker 1: me that in the office. Uh what do I got here?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: You talked about entertainment. Touch on this super quick, so uh,
Speaker 1: Marvel has been dying a slow down now.
Speaker 2: Again, I didn't even think of the last Marvel thing
Speaker 2: I saw.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to turn this into fucking you know, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Tucker Carls. I'm look at my this on that.
Speaker 2: But look at you.
Speaker 1: Look at the movies that did bomb, the Marvels Eternals
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, all that bullshit. Those movies kind of stunk.
Speaker 1: The shang Chi one a all stunk.
Speaker 2: I like the shang Chi one. That one was good
Speaker 2: because the guy was Ajan.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's the ultimate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the way the guy talks though. That guy
Speaker 2: he's in every movie and it's like he always plays
Speaker 2: American characters, but he's got that little bit of accent
Speaker 2: where he's like, yeah, I'm called Rean Saul, and it's like,
Speaker 2: uh uh no.
Speaker 1: He'll be starring this fall in a Reginald Denny biopic.
Speaker 2: Reginald Denny, is that a victim of something?
Speaker 1: That was the guy that got dragged out of his
Speaker 1: truck in the La Riots. Oh remember.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well he had a comment man for driving
Speaker 2: through that neighborhood when they were riding.
Speaker 1: He won't uh, that Asian gentlemen you were talking about,
Speaker 1: won't be playing Reginald Denny, obviously, that'll be played by.
Speaker 2: A black act. He'll be playing the guy with the shot.
Speaker 1: An AAR fifteen ye convenience story.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, that one thing is property.
Speaker 1: That the AR fifteen's were fucking Apparently that is like
Speaker 1: the biggest use case of them ever being applied to
Speaker 1: like real world things in like a mass scale.
Speaker 2: All those in Vietnam wear fifteens, not sixteens. Yeah there again,
Speaker 2: I said before, they're the same gun, except one doesn't
Speaker 2: shoot the auto.
Speaker 1: Sure sure, sure, but that that was if you go back,
Speaker 1: all those Korean store owners own those guns. There were
Speaker 1: some footage we were watching. Were these guys were just popping.
Speaker 2: Shots off in this were the weapons legal?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'd be interested.
Speaker 2: To know that. And it's like if, because I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm assuming all these fucking Asian guys weren't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good point. Yeah, unless California was handing out guns
Speaker 1: to illegals.
Speaker 2: No, that's a bad stereotype a lot and I and
Speaker 2: I'm I think it's a bad stereotype to say any
Speaker 2: particular group specifically just comes here illegally. I've been learning
Speaker 2: a lot about border crises lately, and it seems like
Speaker 2: the problem with our immigration is definitely just laws not
Speaker 2: being passed and nothing to do with influxes of migrants
Speaker 2: or walls or people jumping fences or anything like that.
Speaker 2: It's simply bad legislation and no incentive to enact anything
Speaker 2: because it's a great fucking talking point for political redis.
Speaker 2: It's it's like, what are they doing. They're building a wall. Okay,
Speaker 2: they could just stop letting five thousand immigrants claim asylum
Speaker 2: every day at the border, right, That would be a
Speaker 2: lot easier than spending more and more money on a wall.
Speaker 2: Just like, Okay, one thousand a day can claim asylum.
Speaker 2: You don't even have to end it. You can you
Speaker 2: can lower immigration like instantly, just with the way of
Speaker 2: your finger, you know.
Speaker 1: But that's like, that's like the argument with gun owners,
Speaker 1: like make them illegal. Yes, you're you're saying we take
Speaker 1: it from five thousand down to a thousand. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's just four thousand who go ten miles down the
Speaker 1: road and cross.
Speaker 2: That's that's not the reality though. I Mean, there's a
Speaker 2: there's a set number of asylum seekers per day, and
Speaker 2: that's a cap, and usually it doesn't hit that cap.
Speaker 2: Some days it exceeds that cap, and that's why they
Speaker 2: set the cap. It's supposed to be like an average,
Speaker 2: you know. And this is asylum seekers. This is people
Speaker 2: who you know, we talked about this before they come
Speaker 2: up to the border. They are actually worthy of asylum
Speaker 2: or not. They request it, they're granted it immediately, and
Speaker 2: they're given a court date, which is usually years in
Speaker 2: the future, and then they live here under like a
Speaker 2: resident or what is it, not a resident, like an
Speaker 2: undocumented status, but legally so for a certain amount of
Speaker 2: time until the court decides if you stay or you leave.
Speaker 2: And if there was so many immigrants coming in that
Speaker 2: we were having a border crisis in oh my god,
Speaker 2: there's just too many immigrants. And we already have a
Speaker 2: metric in place, measurable metric to decrease the number of
Speaker 2: people coming in. You could immediately reduce the numbers immediately,
Speaker 2: and you say, okay, well they're going to walk ten
Speaker 2: miles down the road. That's not the reality of how
Speaker 2: it works, though, Like people will go, they come back,
Speaker 2: they go, they come back, like they come repeated and
Speaker 2: repeatedly request asylum. There are things you can do, and
Speaker 2: instead we'd rather just argue about it, you know, Like
Speaker 2: that's that's the point I'm making. It's like, there's a
Speaker 2: real issue there, and both sides are responsible for not
Speaker 2: doing anything of actual value, you.
Speaker 1: Know, So why can't we do both? Why can't we
Speaker 1: reform that system and build that wall to keep out
Speaker 1: people who might be coming the ones who go ahead, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, because because then you're just wasting money on a mite,
Speaker 2: you know, like you're just you're just kissing. But but
Speaker 2: that's the thing is, the reality is the overwhelming majority
Speaker 2: of undocumented or illegal immigrants are asylum seekers, not people
Speaker 2: jumping fences, not people running from border patrol or you know,
Speaker 2: getting smuggled in in box cars or crates. The overwhelming
Speaker 2: majority of undocumented folks are people who just walked up
Speaker 2: to the border and asked to come in, and they
Speaker 2: were allowed to come in. So if you don't want
Speaker 2: illegals here, it would be really easy to make that
Speaker 2: issue less of an issue.
Speaker 1: I would I am not questioning you. I don't believe
Speaker 1: that's true. I don't believe more hit the thing. I
Speaker 1: would want to see where that comes from. And also,
Speaker 1: there's no way to even account for how many people
Speaker 1: are crossing illegally. There's estimates.
Speaker 2: I mean there are estimates, and.
Speaker 1: I mean based on what they're not surveilling the entire
Speaker 1: border for X amount of days and calculating whatever.
Speaker 2: Right, But eventually these people, if they do get in
Speaker 2: and they didn't seek asylum and give their information, eventually
Speaker 2: they are found out because they're spending money, they're trying
Speaker 2: to get jobs, their kids are going to school. Eventually
Speaker 2: they pop up somewhere, and that these numbers, these discrepancies,
Speaker 2: statistics are how they help determine how many people are
Speaker 2: coming in being the means I said, versus other tunnels
Speaker 2: and shit like that. I'm not saying these things don't exist.
Speaker 2: They do. Human slavery is real, drug trafficking is real,
Speaker 2: but most drugs come in through legal means, through border crossings,
Speaker 2: and most humans who are trafficked are not asylum seekers.
Speaker 2: So that's that's the issue, you know, that's the problem.
Speaker 1: I think the real issue is defining what an asylum
Speaker 1: seeker is.
Speaker 2: And my question with anybody who walks up to the
Speaker 2: border and says, oh, I'm living through humanitarian crisis or whatever,
Speaker 2: and the government doesn't ask any questions. So I'm being
Speaker 2: critical of this, like not because I don't want immigrants here,
Speaker 2: but just because I think it's a stupid law to have,
Speaker 2: especially if you want to be critical about the state
Speaker 2: of immigration. You know what I'm saying. It's an arbitrary number.
Speaker 2: What is five thousand? You know, Like it doesn't come
Speaker 2: into account real.
Speaker 1: But maybe it does. Maybe it takes into account economic
Speaker 1: stuff what we.
Speaker 2: Can cover than that, But it doesn't because it doesn't
Speaker 2: take into account like, Okay, what if there is a disaster,
Speaker 2: what if there is a volcano or a flood or whatever.
Speaker 1: People immediately that's a versus like the same thing as
Speaker 1: the wall. I mean, it's the same what if.
Speaker 2: Right legislation is a lot easier to finance than bricks
Speaker 2: and mortar, what like, it makes sense to have a
Speaker 2: plan in action for when these people get here. It
Speaker 2: doesn't really make sense to just piss money away for
Speaker 2: a wall when we don't have evidence to support that
Speaker 2: large droves of people are coming in via illegal border crossings.
Speaker 2: That that's the point.
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of recent documentaries on the border stuff.
Speaker 1: Again I would, I would.
Speaker 2: It's very total though. That's the thing is, like you
Speaker 2: can see as many stories as you want, but you
Speaker 2: have to look at the data. Well, no, but that's data.
Speaker 1: That's who they're talking to. They're talking to the border patrol.
Speaker 1: I mean, the border patrol says this is a problem.
Speaker 1: You know, the border patrol says they are overwhelmed and
Speaker 1: cannot process it. And cannot they say a lot of
Speaker 1: illegal people are crossing every day.
Speaker 2: So I heard what you said about them being overwhelmed
Speaker 2: and they can't process it. So does that automatically So
Speaker 2: you're saying that just automatically leads to them coming in illegally.
Speaker 1: I just don't. Yeah, I don't think your theory on
Speaker 1: them coming back day after day, I don't think that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it holds non majority of them.
Speaker 2: Okay, I see. That's that's the thing, is the data
Speaker 2: disagrees with that. I mean, we can look it up more.
Speaker 2: Maybe we'll do that on a Patreon where we look
Speaker 2: it up, but either way.
Speaker 1: It's more like next week Patreon. That's like gathering data.
Speaker 2: Sorry, my point still stands that if you're probably so
Speaker 2: so again, like well, I don't know why, Like I'm
Speaker 2: not trying to come at you, but it's like, I
Speaker 2: don't know why you're trying to like fight this this
Speaker 2: point here, because it's like there is a measurable metric.
Speaker 2: It's immediately measurable. Okay. If we're having a problem with
Speaker 2: undocumented people in the country, we just we just put
Speaker 2: legislation in place right now, fuck it, we just stop
Speaker 2: letting people seek asylum, you know, and then we see
Speaker 2: what do the numbers say? What are the numbers say
Speaker 2: in five years fucking two years, and we'll just look
Speaker 2: at how many undocumenteds are still in the country, are
Speaker 2: still coming in, and we'll plot it against the previous
Speaker 2: trajectory and we'll see, like, okay, does it look like
Speaker 2: forty percent of them stop coming in eighty ninety six,
Speaker 2: ninety one three, And it's measurable. That's the point. You
Speaker 2: don't have to build a wall, right, you don't have
Speaker 2: to do anything. You just have to change the laws.
Speaker 2: But most sites could do this.
Speaker 1: I'm not coming at you, but if I told you
Speaker 1: vaccines do this, this, and this and that and bleak
Speaker 1: into the brain. Wouldn't you want to know my sources?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 1: So everything I've looked into and read about this and
Speaker 1: seen interviews with people at the border and this and
Speaker 1: that different high ranking border patrol people contradicts what you're saying.
Speaker 1: So the reason I'm coming at it is because the
Speaker 1: evidence I have gathered in my own head completely contradicts
Speaker 1: what you were saying. So yes, I would question it.
Speaker 1: And again, if you got that from uh open Opentheborders
Speaker 1: dot Org, I'd be like, yeah, to me, that's less credible.
Speaker 1: But if you told me it was based on this study,
Speaker 1: that I would go, oh, okay, good. I'm not coming
Speaker 1: at it because I don't believe you. I'm coming at
Speaker 1: it to make sure the numbers you were given are accurate.
Speaker 1: That's my only question.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I'm not even quoting number. I'm just
Speaker 2: I'm I just I'm telling you what the the patterns
Speaker 2: are and the trends and what the the proportions are.
Speaker 2: It's the same. Like, I mean, didn't you even say like, yeah,
Speaker 2: most drugs come in legally, right? No, I never said
Speaker 2: that you did you did? So did you look that
Speaker 2: up or do you just because I mean I.
Speaker 1: Never said I never said that. Oh I didn't look
Speaker 1: at I never said that the DEA.
Speaker 2: I watched an interview with a guy from the d A.
Speaker 2: I think the fucking ATF or whatever. Now the U
Speaker 2: sounds like it makes sense, Uh No, it was, but
Speaker 2: it was multiple heads of things that have I remember here.
Speaker 1: Probably the ATF because they trafficked guns with drugs a
Speaker 1: lot of the time.
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, like that. But I watched that Wired series,
Speaker 2: you know, where they talked to like retired professionals, and
Speaker 2: I remember hearing the same thing quoted over and over
Speaker 2: in a lot of like drug videos and gun videos
Speaker 2: and all and all these different experts would always mention, how, yeah,
Speaker 2: most ship that gets here illegally or that is illegal
Speaker 2: here gets here legally, just like ship from China. Right,
Speaker 2: Like the postal service is so inundated with packages, they
Speaker 2: can't process and scan through everything. They only they only
Speaker 2: search like a fraction of a percent of all the
Speaker 2: ship that gets shipped into the United States from China.
Speaker 2: So that's why so much ship that is illegal in
Speaker 2: the United States just gets sent through the regular mail
Speaker 2: from China, you know, like they the criminals exploit and
Speaker 2: the good ones and bad ones. You know, if there's
Speaker 2: such a thing as a good criminal, they exploit the
Speaker 2: legal system as it is, you know, good yeah, good criminals,
Speaker 2: smart criminals will at least.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's not legal once you start moving illegal stuff.
Speaker 2: Right, I understand. But the post office is a legal
Speaker 2: it's the it's the legal service, it's a government service.
Speaker 1: You're using it illegally.
Speaker 2: You are using it illegally, yes, exactly, what's even the point?
Speaker 2: Just just like people who in some people's eyes, would
Speaker 2: be coming to our border and using our you know,
Speaker 2: I guess no, it would be just they would just
Speaker 2: be using it illegally, using the border policy illegally. Hey,
Speaker 2: I want to seek asylum. I got it's real bad
Speaker 2: where I'm from. Okay, we can't ask any questions, and
Speaker 2: then you wait for your court date. You're you're essentially
Speaker 2: you're you're lying. I guess you're you're basically perjuring yourself, right,
Speaker 2: you're lying or committing fraud or something. You're you're lying
Speaker 2: to get gain access to the country. So it's the same,
Speaker 2: it's the same thing, right like you are you are
Speaker 2: committing a crime, but what, well, you know, what's the point?
Speaker 2: Who cares you're good or bad?
Speaker 1: I just think, uh, I think all of South America
Speaker 1: at this point could probably claim refugee status.
Speaker 2: Right at a rate of five thousand people per day, exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, until bodies are stacking up outside of the front gate,
Speaker 1: then there's argument we need to get it up to
Speaker 1: ten thousand a day. Look at the human devastation out there,
Speaker 1: you know that happens, Okay, and then even at ten thousand,
Speaker 1: bodies are still stacking sure, opens Okay, that's great. Then
Speaker 1: Syria floods in because they're in a war zone as well.
Speaker 2: God, so, so you're you're you're painting the picture in
Speaker 2: one way, but it could be the other way just
Speaker 2: as well, where people are starving and dying on the
Speaker 2: outside and we're just not letting them in for any
Speaker 2: good reason because we have this big giant wall, you know,
Speaker 2: or we don't even need the wall. We could just
Speaker 2: be gunning them down right at the border with fucking helicopters.
Speaker 2: We were the United States, We have the best fucking firepower.
Speaker 1: Like that's well, or just not to kill people, it's
Speaker 1: to protect our borders.
Speaker 2: To protect our border yees. So we're just gonna gun
Speaker 2: them down before they can get within a mile of it.
Speaker 1: No reason, because we can build the wall real high.
Speaker 2: No, we want to keep the driveway to the wall. Nice.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, But that's the point is like, we can
Speaker 2: what if all day, but we have data, we can
Speaker 2: make legislation to do something about it. But nobody is
Speaker 2: doing anything about the border, and both sides seem to
Speaker 2: bitch about it. I hear Biden bitching all the time
Speaker 2: about shit at the border. Oh we got at the border,
Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, dude, I thought you were all
Speaker 2: about open borders. That's what I hear from conservatives all
Speaker 2: the time is that you're COMMI and you want open borders.
Speaker 2: But it seems like even Biden is not pretty, is
Speaker 2: not happy with a bunch of fucking illegals come in
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 1: Well that's because most Americans.
Speaker 2: Don't want it. So then why don't they do something?
Speaker 2: Why don't they make some legislation.
Speaker 1: Well they're trying to vote for someone. But Trump told
Speaker 1: me he'd start the fucking border wall on day one.
Speaker 1: It never got finished. Biden said he was going to
Speaker 1: reform the system. It never got done. Obama one of
Speaker 1: his big things was a strong border is very important,
Speaker 1: and then we opened him up more. You're right, you're
Speaker 1: not wrong.
Speaker 2: It is just a talking about the wall. It's gonna help,
Speaker 2: you know. That's but data shows that everything we have
Speaker 2: been doing does not help. Right, exactly exactly, Try something new, right,
Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean build a wall.
Speaker 1: It could mean that. It doesn't not mean that.
Speaker 2: I mean a wall that people can just climb over
Speaker 2: or climb under, dig under, like really it's big enough.
Speaker 1: Man, both ways, I don't know. I'm not advocating for
Speaker 1: the wall, but you put me in a position saying
Speaker 1: a wall doesn't work. I bet you I could build
Speaker 1: a wall big enough you can't climb over it.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure you could, but I'm I'm willing
Speaker 2: to bet it would cost way more than the American
Speaker 2: taxpayer would want to pay for, especially considering most people
Speaker 2: aren't even trying to go that way. They'll just walk up.
Speaker 2: I mean, fine, build the wall and leave the leave
Speaker 2: the the cap at five thousand per day, and we'll
Speaker 2: see how the immigration numbers change. And then and then
Speaker 2: what do we do when it changes by three percent? Okay,
Speaker 2: maybe we should change this fucking asylum nonsense.
Speaker 1: Are you saying, oh goodness, someone should do something about
Speaker 1: the government wasting money.
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: No, I'm saying if we build the wall, and if
Speaker 1: it only changed the.
Speaker 2: Wall, I'm saying we should waste it all on the wall.
Speaker 1: No, but that's my question. I mean, if we're getting
Speaker 1: outraged about the government wasting money, I got fucking binders
Speaker 1: full of shit for you, Like, I mean, we can't
Speaker 1: just put our foot down on this one. Let's carry
Speaker 1: that through to everything so.
Speaker 2: They don't spend money on anything anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sounds like you want smaller government.
Speaker 2: I mean that's I mean, it sounds.
Speaker 1: Like as far as a wall building, you want me.
Speaker 2: To say that. No, I want a government that takes
Speaker 2: action based on data and reason, and that is reasoned,
Speaker 2: you know, like it's informed. It doesn't. A wall is
Speaker 2: an impulsive like just a blurt out of It's a
Speaker 2: Freudian slip. Do you think when Donald Trump said we'll
Speaker 2: build a wall, he had any good reason to build
Speaker 2: a wall other than walls are tall walls.
Speaker 1: Walls have traditionally been used throughout history to keep people
Speaker 1: in or out of things.
Speaker 2: Sure, but this I mean, this is the twenty first century.
Speaker 2: We have drones that can carry people. We have excavators
Speaker 2: that can be purchased at home depot. We have fucking
Speaker 2: speedboats that can go from Tijuana to San Diego in
Speaker 2: thirty minutes. I don't know why a wall. If you
Speaker 2: think that they're nefariously sneaking in, I don't know why
Speaker 2: a wall would stop them.
Speaker 1: Again, just something different to try. Again.
Speaker 2: I'm not advocating for this, I'm okay, I just but
Speaker 2: it's just like every time you say something to try,
Speaker 2: it sounds like you are. So that's why I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, because I don't because I don't believe the data
Speaker 1: you were told. I don't believe those are correct numbers. Okay,
Speaker 1: And I also the again that's not on.
Speaker 2: You, and I don't want to look it up right now.
Speaker 2: I mean we can, but I just feel like range
Speaker 2: the time it is.
Speaker 1: But there's also the other aspect of it is I
Speaker 1: think you're discounting a lot of human psychology, especially from
Speaker 1: people in Again, I don't think they're lining up. I
Speaker 1: think yes, a majority of them will. I mean, you
Speaker 1: you have you read this stuff about how cartels now
Speaker 1: are moving their operations from drug to just human trafficking
Speaker 1: getting people over the order I have it packages, which
Speaker 1: is I guess you just don't get raped as much.
Speaker 2: And on the way of the United States. I just
Speaker 2: want to saw a graph the other day. It had
Speaker 2: like all the spots. One was a world map where
Speaker 2: it had in red all the places where the most
Speaker 2: people are trafficked from. So you had like Thailand, India, China,
Speaker 2: all over Africa, south of fucking the whole world as
Speaker 2: people being trafficked from there. And yeah, who's the biggest
Speaker 2: importer of people? The United States? That was the next graph.
Speaker 2: The next graph shows you the where the most slaves
Speaker 2: to yeh, it's in the fucking United States. And I like,
Speaker 2: I'm not buying slaves. I don't know a lot of
Speaker 2: people in my neighborhood who can afford a slave, and
Speaker 2: if they can, they're not sharing it with me.
Speaker 1: So I'm assuming I'd be like, cut me a clip,
Speaker 1: make make me funny in this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, put me in this one. I want to wear
Speaker 2: the pig mask.
Speaker 1: I can to work miracles massa and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: just make me kind of funny. I ain't no saying
Speaker 1: or nothing that might.
Speaker 2: Be fun to do for the show. We get a
Speaker 2: dark web connection and we see how much a slave
Speaker 2: goes for.
Speaker 1: I guess okay, I don't want to get into like
Speaker 1: who the better slaves are and who they aren't, so
Speaker 1: I we'll just.
Speaker 2: Regions. It's a good one, I bet anyway, gheit him there?
Speaker 1: You know how? You know how we got there? Do
Speaker 1: you know how we got to where we are right now?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: But Robert Downey is coming back to the Marvel universe.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I don't know how we fucking got there. No,
Speaker 1: he's coming back as Doctor Doom.
Speaker 2: Doctor Doom.
Speaker 1: Do you have the fucking fucking money they must have
Speaker 1: given him to come back?
Speaker 2: I mean it seems like there he's begging to come
Speaker 2: back at this point, like I thought he left and
Speaker 2: now he's back as a different guy.
Speaker 1: Now they must have paid him so much, fucking probably
Speaker 1: fifty million bits and probably five percent of worldwide gross.
Speaker 2: So wait a minute. They asked him to come back
Speaker 2: and play a different character and a different property that's
Speaker 2: not even connected to the Marvel movies yet but not
Speaker 2: yet like through the through the movies, right, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 2: so they're asking him basically to come back and helm
Speaker 2: a new Marvel cinematic universe is what it sounds like.
Speaker 1: Is there anyone better equipped to do it?
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't say I agree, Yeah, there's no one. No.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say maybe cap Chris Evans, but no,
Speaker 2: you're right. Tony Stark was the leader. He's the guy.
Speaker 2: But I think this is a bad idea. I think
Speaker 2: Disney is so desperate to revitalize this thing that should
Speaker 2: probably die that they were like, oh, well, Bill fucking
Speaker 2: They'll do anything for Robert. They'll fucking pay a million
Speaker 2: times in a row, and I think I might pay
Speaker 2: one more. And if it's a piece of shit, all right, dude,
Speaker 2: I'm done. I don't give a fuck if Robert Downey
Speaker 2: Junior comes back or not.
Speaker 1: Some guys go to bed at night thinking to themselves,
Speaker 1: I hope I wake up tomorrow as Robert Downey Junior. Me,
Speaker 1: I hope I just wake up as Jim Fuck that.
Speaker 2: I gotta be Chris Evans.
Speaker 1: You got a who'd you rather fuck this week?
Speaker 2: Chris Evans or Robert Downey Jr.
Speaker 1: How about we go Bollywood smash hit jd Vance's wife
Speaker 1: Kamala Harris.
Speaker 2: Okay, so jd Vance's wife or Kamala Harris. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hmm,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take Kamala just because it's a black and
Speaker 2: a Indian at the same time. It's kind of like
Speaker 2: you're having a three way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm dead solid.
Speaker 2: It's like you're fucking the Princess and the frog bitch
Speaker 2: and Jasmine. Don't do your.
Speaker 1: Worst friend dot com follows everywhere black princesses on Twitter.
Speaker 1: They made a big deal about that, right, the Princess
Speaker 1: and the Frog one was the first black Disney princess.
Speaker 2: The first and only who didn't do well with the demo?
Speaker 1: Who was the first princess of color?
Speaker 2: Oh? Dude, fucking Pocahontas.
Speaker 1: I think, man, well, did Pokehontas come out after a
Speaker 1: lot of Jasmine?
Speaker 2: Jasmine? Jazzmine was yeah, no, Ariel because she was a fish.
Speaker 1: Ugh agree, fucking pussy stunk. I bet you had aca.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, they never showed her pussy in that cartoon,
Speaker 2: but I bet it was all fucking like it had
Speaker 2: gill slits and ship and it was like it was like,
Speaker 2: you know, how uh, when you see a fish breathe,
Speaker 2: it's gills, like do that flappy thing? It almost looks
Speaker 2: like wings, like they feel like this. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 2: imagine her pussy lip's doing that like a whole versus
Speaker 2: his mouth.
Speaker 1: You're your worst friend.
Speaker 2: I'm Matt, I'm Shane. We'll see you next week. Don't
Speaker 2: force my mouth.
Speaker 1: You know, all of us all crudo. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: really gonna miss you guys when.
Speaker 2: The show's over.
Speaker 1: H