Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice
mix in some vodka colored a podcast from the Mac
of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Chrysler Dots jeep Ram. It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Thank
you for telling a friend.
Speaker 3: That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship.
And looking like a character from SpongeBob.
Speaker 2: Squarmans it is seven shirts.
Speaker 3: You look like a conckshell that someone's gonna blow if
shots are being fired early.
Speaker 2: I'm jeezy. I know you.
Speaker 3: There's no shots being fired. You are Why would I
golf shirt?
Speaker 2: I like it. It's a nice color. It is a nice,
nice color. Look at you all.
Speaker 3: So you got the cups in the lining up the
pocket and wow.
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful sunny day. I'm wearing a sunny free
ball at Caspacho. Did it come with its own batteries?
That's nice?
Speaker 3: Thank you? Uh you know Doug drives uber and stuff.
The schools are letting out now there more kids around
and thin, Yes, is business up because of that?
Speaker 2: Or I'm gonna tell you a story. Oh boy, driving
to uh short Acres where I have my golf against
Thursday night, I am at Dewey and English. I'm parked
Kitty Corner or I'm in traffic and I stop probably
about a foot or two in the walkway crosswalk, which
you shouldn't. I mean, then you're written tests that you
should not you should back up. But there's nobody I didn't.
So this mother and her thirteen, let's say fourteen year
old daughter walking across the street and she starts, motherfucking me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, She's like, are you in the crosswalk?
Speaker 2: I mean I'm in driver's sept Yeah. Nothing. They couldn't
walk around it running yea, And uh oh you're gonna
back up? You're a fuck? Oh you're not. You fucking
pieces going off of me, takes the water bottle, hits
my car, I rolled out my windows. What your fucking problem?
What the fuck is wrong with you? You starts going
to give me the figure I go, your little fucking bitch,
Oh good luck in prison. Is that what you said? Yeah?
My mother said nothing. Wait, so what hold on, holdld on,
I missed something.
Speaker 3: The fourteen year old girl did this, the thirteen year
old girl. The mother did nothing, nothing, just walked with her,
just walked with her.
Speaker 2: She yelled all this stuff, all this stuff which I'm
guessing she's seen on TikTok and all these little videos
with her mom probably, So wow, you know that's.
Speaker 3: Good luck in prison. Yeah, well, you know, but it
is someone who's boundaries.
Speaker 2: You broke the law. I can't believe that you would, like,
I don't. I can't hit my car, I can't. I
could have been anybody get a gun for crying out loud. Yeah,
I could have stopped and got out and had no
decency and just punched it in her face. Yeah. I
can't believe her mother didn't do anything. Let's just walk
around the car. People do make mistakes and you might
yell a little bit.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so that was my It's a bad day
for somebody. They just failed their h New York State
regents or whatever.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean that, Wow, I'm not surprised, I guess because
there's an awful lot of stuff, Like I remember hearing
like a little kid, go, I'm going to teach you
a lesson, and I'm like, ah no, that's something that
you did come up with on your own, you know
what I mean? And that's where it's like learn behavior
and sight.
Speaker 2: Right now you're learning it from your phone, not your parents, wow,
not everybody.
Speaker 3: But no, no, no, no, no, I think that's a
it's a good thing. I still think that what you
see in real life, more than even on the phone,
is what's going to dictate behavior. And I would think
that that her mother, somebody has done that. And to
not even grab the kid and go pipe down. Yeah,
I get it, he's in the crosswalk. It's frustrating. We
have to walk.
Speaker 2: Aw, I wasn't even halfway.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was a quarter you think, Doug, I don't know,
but I'm just that's the thing.
Speaker 2: And you're right.
Speaker 3: I used to say that the Disney Channel was teaching
kids how to be little sarcastic smart mouths. Right, all
these they had twenty four to seven programs aimed at kids.
They still do, yes, and I haven't. I haven't watched.
But now it's your phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, and you can go to anything, yeah, anything
and everything.
Speaker 3: Yet, well, I worry about our hyperconnectivity, you know, the
amount of communication, the amount of information that we get
that we're able to see, I mean.
Speaker 2: The Holy conversation, Yeah, with the you know, with another person, right,
And I have friends my nephew he's on his phone
twenty four to seven yep, so or in a computer,
trying to get him into sports or to do anything.
And then I have other friends their kids twenty four
to twenty five, still living at home. You know, it's
all right, but they say they go on in public,
they have a really hard time just holding a conversation
because yeah, wow, yeah.
Speaker 3: So I because I have kids in all three kind
of categories that you're saying. I have that fifteen year
old and I have a twenty three and twenty four
year old. I haven't noticed the inability to hold a
conversation that, which is a nice thing because.
Speaker 2: They see you talking all the time and they have it. Well,
it could be that.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's a very very thing. I will tell you.
Like my youngest son, like what's talking? But no one
talked to him as though he were a baby. Do
you understand what I'm saying? Like you know, like what's that?
Say it again like you might with the first kid,
you know, and trying to play back. Everybody just talked
and he was like speaking full sentences by one and
then throwing his sippy cup at one hundred miles an
hour across the room and pegging his brothers in the back.
Speaker 2: Of the head. Look this girl boom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well that's it. Everything has changed, the hyperconnectivity. I mean,
as schools let out. There are stories that I don't remember,
these stories when I was in school, and you were
in school in the year of Our Lord, nineteen hundred
and eighty seven, when you graduated and I graduated in
the year of eighty eight.
Speaker 2: Oh, graduated in ninety eighty nine.
Speaker 3: Eighty nine, yeah, eighty nine, you were eighty eight.
Speaker 2: Eighty eight. Oh, I thought you were eighty seven for
some reason.
Speaker 3: Eighty eight. Jeez, it's the salmon. I just figured out. Yes, no,
But there's this this woman who was all over the
news a while ago, and again this I would even
say an offshoot the week in public shame, which I'm
not sure is necessarily a bad thing. But then I
often worry about how the fuck do you survive when
everybody you know, everybody you've forgotten about, is talking about
you in some capacity, and it happens when you do something.
Speaker 2: Post well, it's stupid shit.
Speaker 3: This woman, Christina Formela, she is a teacher, was a
special education teacher ouse Oude of Chicago. She had allegedly
a long standing affair with a fifteen year old boy.
She married her high school sweetheart in August. She's still she.
I don't think she's been sentenced yet. She's been going.
I think it's still in court.
Speaker 2: But she is.
Speaker 3: Facing fifty five charges and could get sixty years in
prison for molesting. For molesting, yeah, fifteen year old. But
despite all that, she ended up in the yearbook this
year because the.
Speaker 2: Charger picture is horizontal, Gloria Whole teacher of the year.
Speaker 3: But she yeah, so I'm looking at it this, I go,
what a great That's the greatest thing in the word.
Speaker 2: You're twenty years later flipping through year boogo remember her?
I remember her?
Speaker 3: And she said that she was targeted because she was
too good looking, and she is attractive. I don't know
that she was. She married her high school sweetheart in August.
Allegedly this had started last March. I don't know how
that's possible. Maybe but either way or maybe she married.
She's I think she's twenty four, twenty five.
Speaker 2: Twenty five and having sex with a fifteen year old well,
allegedly allegedly.
Speaker 3: But then there were some stuff they found. I haven't
gotten too deep into it. I just remember her saying
she was too good looking. But I go, what motivate?
Her husband's holding her hand and walking into court every
day with her. He's a former college baseball player. So yeah,
but you gotta think even his buddies are going, you're
fucking insane.
Speaker 2: Man. I'd be out of there. I'd be off right,
like maybe she's really good in bed. You're just so
in love with her, I mean true love. And you know,
what do you? Yeah? I mean when there's your man
stick by your woman, forgiveness, you know, to have it
a hold. I'll see you apart. Some people are just saying,
would you know what I do? And you know, my
wife comes home and says, hey, I'm just let you
know I'm gonna be going to court. Really speeding ticket, no,
Uh did you run a red light? Nope? Park in
a handicap space. No, I was fucking A fifteen year
old student.
Speaker 3: Of oh Well accused alleged his mom misread a text
and got all bent out of shade.
Speaker 2: It is weird. Should not be texting your students.
Speaker 3: First of all, you don't think so. No, oh, I
don't think so either.
Speaker 2: I agree with that. I do agree with that email
to the parents.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, But I mean I'm just thinking she's
in the yearbook. This is fantastic, This is fantastic. I
would want her, I would try. That would be the
most I will tell you every picture, which I don't.
Her name is Christina Formela. You can look it up.
Christina Formla, a special education teacher. If you put that in,
I'm sure she'll pop up. But I'm thinking that every
year they have left over yearbooks and they try to
sell them, right, they try to sell them before the
school year ends, and sometimes people don't buy. I go,
somebody's buying all Yeah, that's her. Yeah, yep, somebody's buying
all the uh oh.
Speaker 2: Chad doesn't do her justice. That's when you put her
face in a pillow. Yeah, but I mean even there,
she's not bad looking.
Speaker 3: It's just you know, they caught her like coming out
at six o'clock in the morning on her way to
the gym or something, and she's with her husband and
they're going, you're under the rest, and she's like, what
what are you talking about?
Speaker 2: And she says she told him everything.
Speaker 3: And then they have documents from him, going first, I'm
hearing of this.
Speaker 2: It's like us deny everything. Well, unless he thinks she's
the hottest piece of ass the side of the Mississippi
and just totally love the high school cheerleader prime queen.
This is she's my wife. What would even like think
about this?
Speaker 3: Let's say let's say we're the guy in this. What
would your family say to you?
Speaker 2: My dad? Yeah? No, do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3: Like, I mean your dad or anybody, right, just your
family because maybe they really like her. Maybe they think
she's wonderful and they go, boy, this is this is
horrible that.
Speaker 2: She's this year Christina. Let me look at my calendar.
My raiment is a twenty. Yeah. Yeah, you bringing your
mashed potatoes again.
Speaker 3: Have you been to Leo's Bakery and Deli in East
Rochester recently?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: You gotta get there. They're open every day, so it's
very convenient. It'll satisfy your sweet tooth, your sandwich cravings.
Speaker 2: Get the Cubano.
Speaker 3: Tell them Billified said to have the Cubano sandwich, fresh
baked bread, hand crafted pastries, deli favorites, and desserts like Canol's.
That'll make your rethink, your self control. It's all waiting
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Mac of All Trades. I don't know about the dating apps.
I never had the courage to go on. To be
quite honest with you, I didn't have it because, much
like you said, if you don't get bites, then there
you go. And if you do get bites, do you
feel like you're being forced into a situation you don't
necessarily want to be in and I don't like hurting
people's feelings and stuff, and I honestly I just never
had the courage. And I don't feel like great about
myself either, but again better in person.
Speaker 2: Well there's Tinder, there's Bumble, There's those are the two
popular ones, and plenty of fish which are quote unquote
hookup sites or yes, and I have talked to women
that are on them and right away the guys like
you want to get together and fuck you know you
want to see a dick pic? Or what are you
thinking about? They want to get right to it, and
most women do not. And the women that do. Now,
I've uber dates and I have bartended dates that have
been on from day What is that like to see?
I took a guy uh kind of jacked up shorter
than you, but yes, And I go, what do you
got playing?
Speaker 4: Is?
Speaker 2: I'm just going over this girl's house to kick it.
I'm like, just like that, because yeah, you found me
on Bumble and uh, you know, we're gonna have a
couple of drinks and see what happens. And they go, wow,
just like that, I go, you're my new here he goes, well,
I work a lot, work out a lot in the gym,
personal trainer, and I post a lot of pictures of
my body, so you have the instant connection. This is
what I want, you know, and it might be, but
you know you were attracted to you know, body type.
Why don't you put pictures? Why they wouldn't fit on
the screen. I'm so fucking fatty can Why do you
think I'm wearing salmon? So nobody looks at my belly?
I like, I like you? I like you don't think
I can make it up stream? Right for a big
old grizzly man.
Speaker 3: Why are all those bubbles coming as one fat fucking salmon?
Speaker 2: We catch him? Well, he till November. Are you good? Tonight? Kids?
Get the butter?
Speaker 3: Uh okay, that's interesting.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah. I also bartended a couple having their first
uh get together? Yeah? I think this was a whiskey
river last year? How is that? Is that awkward to watch? No?
I kept my distance, Sure, but I would, but I'd
be curious. Well, the girl showed up first. I remember this.
The girl showed up first. I'm like, Hey, what's going on?
I'm just waiting for somebody. I'm like a friend or
and she go, I'm like, is this the first day
she goes? How do you know? I'm like, well, I
just gotta kind of like, so you talked a couple
of times, now I ask, yeah, we talked a couple
of times. It seemed, you know, so we're social setting.
I'm like a school. I'm like, you know, I'll be
down here. I'm like, if something, you know, if you
if you want my number in case it doesn't go well,
I'll I'll text you, you know, give me your number.
I'll text you like, hey, this is Becky. Can you
come because sometimes girls need to out. Yes, well they
usually have that set up. Now you want to hear
something stupid, stupid, funny, And I don't usually use the
stupid s words because I don't think stupid. How much
Chinese do you think he's picking up? I feel better about
myself already.
Speaker 3: He's picking up a salmon.
Speaker 2: I met an old friend of mine. This is eight
nine years ago, so I didn't know how it was
going to go. I met her out and I told
my buddy, hey, if she's crazy, I haven't seen her
in a long time, I'll text you and then you
text me bad. So I went to the bathroom, and uh,
I'm like, hey, uh, you don't have to worry about
texting me. Things are going good, and uh, I'll tell
you later how the date went. And then I sat
down and I accident texted to her, you're shitting me.
Speaker 3: Wow, wow, I just I told you what she said.
She laughed and maybe that made her feel good because
you said the date was going well.
Speaker 2: Look, I don't date and even have like this. But
did she have an out too? It's like, yeah, right,
I was.
Speaker 3: I was worried about my first day. That was that
was I had my backup playing.
Speaker 2: So that I forgot about that for a while.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hey I can, But how did it? How did
the first date that you observed go?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I didn't. I didn't get any feedback.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean, could you You can tell by body.
Speaker 2: Language and stuff. Sometimes Yeah, I poured him a drink
and I just come back down say hey, you know,
everybody good, how we doing? Yeah? Good? All right, I'm
already down there. And then years ago another bar guy
came in with a girl, and uh, I got you
joking around this, that and the other thing. I come
back in on my day off. You go up he's
there with a different chick, a different girl, and he
was the same bar there an idiot. They know they
were from Fairport. Oh yeah. So I'm like and she
went to bathroom, like, dude, aren't you playing a little
close at Chester? And he's like no, they both live
in Fairport, so they're not going to come down to charltt. Yeah,
they're not going to randomly come in. I'm not get
I'm like, dude, you're SMI by a shot. I'm like you, damn,
you're buying me shot. Probably buy me too, thanks for
being cool my a course, of course, I'm not blowing
aybody's cover. I'm not like that.
Speaker 3: You're like, hey, what happened to a really cute girl
you were with last week?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I did do that to a buddy. Oh god,
why because he came in drunk with this woman and uh,
oh gosh, it was hilarious, short hair. She worked at
the radio station. I can't remember. This was another ten
years ago and they're both schnobbered and uh and I
don't want to say his name, well it doesn't matter,
but I'm brad and he goes this is so so
I'm like, oh, so glad to meet you. You were
so prettier than the girl he had in here last week.
Oh but that's funny. Yes, and he started laughing, that's funny.
And she was a little ditzy and I just kept
kind of grinding this situation. Yeah, that's fine. And then
he was in a few days later with another one.
But he didn't care. He was Yeah, he was all
around town, kind of get it happened. Yeah, he's just
easy going, fun to be with, uh, you know, kind
of guy.
Speaker 3: So like you, I'm all around town.
Speaker 2: I'm all around. Have you been over there lately? Yeah?
I was there for a few minutes last night, just
a few minutes, yep, drop off some paperwork.
Speaker 3: No, to pick up My kid was meeting me there
and then uh but no, no, I mean it's never
an easy time for me there. Right, he's falling. I
always fall into the Guinness River as a salmon stream.
Speaker 2: It happens from time to time. The next thing you
wake up, your you're mounted over someone fireplates like, Yeah,
I begged him last night. Wow, that's a big one, Teresa.
Yeah he didn't. He didn't put up much of a struggle.
He would have thought for that, would you have fifty
pounds test like, yeah, something like that. Guinness at home
and it was closing time and he wanted to keep drinking,
so losing.
Speaker 3: Well, speaking of the dating thing, you know, the the competition,
I think, and I'm not exactly sure, but I think
that Mark was going to go on a date this
weekend with uh mat.
Speaker 2: Now, I listened to have you talked about this since
last Monday? So apparently no, because no I have, so apparently. Well,
I got on watching the show. I was doing some
house or whatever, and uh, apparently one of your listeners
wrote in saying she would go on a date with
Mark Hillman and with Dougie Fresh.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, So obviously I kept watching. So she
came in, She came in, She came in here. Mark
seemed uncomfortable. But then something changed over the past couple
of days. And uh, it's like a group text sort
of thing with that. I'm in with him and Kevin
and others. I don't create these, but group no, no, And.
Speaker 2: Uh it was the last one picked for Dagball too. Buddy,
I'm taking out any you can't miss. The shirt makes
me feel self conscious.
Speaker 3: So I guess he said, yeah, But then she had
given her number to him on a piece of paper
and he lost it and he said, I'm dead serious.
So I think that the numbers were exchanged. Uh, And
I'm not sure where it goes from there. I'm not
I'm not. I'm not sure, but there may be something
this weekend. I don't really know.
Speaker 2: So then are I supposed to get in touch with
this girl after this? Or do you guys have a plan?
Speaker 3: Are you gonna? Yeah, there's no real plan. No, I mean,
come on, it's bilified. We haven't really thought exactly. But
I don't know because like everybody sort of ran with it,
and I always get a little like, uh, what if
it goes terribly wrong?
Speaker 2: I mean, I know so well, just like love connection, yep,
you know, yep.
Speaker 3: So I think that it might. I don't know. I
don't know how, but I will let you know it.
Speaker 2: Then if she says, well, now it's under Doug, Yeah,
I don't want to hear what he did, and then.
Speaker 3: Well, don't don't listen. I don't really thank you. I
appreciate that, but don't listen, you know, don't even like
like you did the last time. When she comes in,
don't say anything. But Mallory. Yeah, what I think would
be great is to not have her say anything. Uh,
just let Mark maybe tell how he thought it went,
and then let you go on the date, let you
talk about how you thought it went, and then for
her to come in and then you know, see, yes,
how that went, and maybe we just sort of drag
it out over a couple episodes. I don't know. Looking
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Speaker 2: More the hump you have to get over in life. Well,
most people orange dicks.
Speaker 3: I'm finding out like my crew is the minority those though.
Speaker 2: That fucking shamee.
Speaker 3: You shit on, you fucking destroy your person like we
shit to this day.
Speaker 2: I'm shit on. I knew you know. I mean a
loving way, but I mean that's how we show love
that I got. I go over to Montconnery's. It's a
fucking it's a rip fest. It is a rip fest.
Speaker 3: And I leave there feeling better than when I walked in,
and I've been destroyed.
Speaker 2: And it's just so tuning. It's easier to point down
in people.
Speaker 3: Oh, but it's just like, no, I'm not destroyed. I'm
getting destroyed there like they put me in my and
I love it and I love that kind of shit.
But I found out in college. Most people weren't like that.
I found a group as soon as like I didn't
that was like that, and they're like I had transferred
in and the guys were like, oh, I thought you
guys were friends for years the way you all bust
on each other's balls, and I go, yeah, but it
was like that's where you were attracted. Most people aren't
fucking hanging girls pictures, yeah, super imposed over a cow
in a main office window. Bill Moran, all right, Dougie,
we talked about reinventing. You were the screenwriter and you
talk about writing and all that, and I think you
have a real passion for that stuff. I don't know
used to.
Speaker 2: Now I'm kind of second guessing myself. But it's been
a tough year losing my mom and just settling in
and changing addresses and things like that. So I'm hoping
it kind of gets fired up again. And I I
do still practice as some mover drivers riders. Yeah, your
comedy and stuff, yeah, and they laugh of course, yeah,
And they want to know what I'm playing, yeah, and
I'm like, well, I got nothing set up, so kind
of wondering what I'm gonna do with that.
Speaker 3: So well, what what is one part of like because
I was even thinking this for myself, one part of
your identity today, that identity, well that you never imagined
ten years ago you had you never saw.
Speaker 2: I never saw this, definitely Scott the Comedy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, never saw that ten years ago.
Speaker 2: Why because I never thought about doing it. Yeah, you know.
My friend came in and said, I really should, just
because I always have the jokes and doing Rodney and
Quick at my feet, and I think if I was
in you York City, it would be different going from
club to club to club every night. I'd want to
do that and see how that goes. So go down
for a weekend. I'm planning to in the fall and
do that. Yeah, I and fucking do that. I'm so
proud of you. Seriously. I was gonna do it in March,
but my friend said it wasn't a good time. March April.
An old room made mine lives in New York City.
Speaker 3: Okay, so that you're going to go stay with them, yes,
and then you were going to bounce from club to club.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he was on the open mic. Yeah that's fuck.
I already looked on the internet. Yeah, so see, uh
some of them, they want you to bring in seven friends,
so they get seven people drinking and to drink minimum obviously. Yeah.
But then another friend, uh the comedy seller, he was
there just a few weeks ago, and I just wrote
them two days ago because I'm sure they have obviously
so many people in New York City. Uh. You know, Hey,
I won the twenty twenty two Footies Personal Rochester. I
have strong fifteen twenty minutes. You know, how do I
sort of wait to get in?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Club do you? My friend was telling me about this
certain night where you just rolling comic after comic and
they say they jammy in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's a cavalcad. It's a cavalcat and I
think you get five minutes. I think you get five minutes.
Sometimes you have to pay and that. But sometimes and
sometimes the order gets bumped because Chris Rock pops up
right and.
Speaker 2: He he goes, hey, man, I want to work this stuff out.
Speaker 3: They're gonna give him time. So then and then you
gotta follow Chris Rock, right, you know what I mean?
That could be tough. I think this is fucking awesome.
Speaker 2: So we're saying after the fall, after the breast cancer,
fundraiser good, you know, in November. But one of the
comics I did see that joint in Rochester. His opener
was a woman that had been doing it for I
think about twelve years. Yeah, And I asked her, well,
he was signing autographs. I was just talking to you know,
how's it going? You know. She goes, well, you know,
I'm getting back into it. I took a couple of
years off. She says, some comics do that. You try it,
you're not really Rodney did that. Yeah, right, Yeah. He
was in sales. Yeah, and then he got married and
his wife said, Okay, we're gonna get out of the
show business. We're gonna have regular life, for get regular jobs.
So he was selling aluminum and doing odd jobs and
he was writing jokes and putting putting it in his toolbox
where she would never go. Yeah, and one of the
things on his biography was he was making it back up.
He's on the Ed Sullivan Show and he's at this
person's house. He's like, could you turn in and sell
the show so I can watch myself. Yeah, oh yeah, okay,
that's been a I think it would be lie. But anyways,
and then she found out he got back into comedy,
and uh, he changed his name. His name is Roy remember, Okay,
but I read the book so and then he started
getting no respect and that was it. That was it,
And that was a forty one forty one. Yeah. They
got divorced and he had tough time. He had real
she had mental health problem. She did what I understand,
He had a really tough life growing up too. Yeah,
so he kind of just turned it into his way,
made it worked for him. I think he lived to
be ninety two.
Speaker 3: Yeah, three, something like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I love Rodney. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well Rodney wasn't like I never met him. People that
did said he was very difficult. He was always grumpy.
He would show up at the club, he just man depressive.
He would just be well there's why. Yeah, he would
be walking around in his robe, you know, and just
walking around in a robe all the time and doing cocaine.
That was like his thing. And I went, wow, okay,
But because you see someone like that and you go,
he must be so much fun to hang out with.
And I will tell you that there was a string
of years where I did a lot of MC work
at the old comedy Club on Winning Road, right, Yeah,
and man, we.
Speaker 2: Have a mutual friend there, Dave Harrison, and he was
running the bar and he said they're either full blown
alcoholics or sober as a judge.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but a lot of like really just depressed, I
mean just dark sad, like it can't be every comic
guy to be funny. No it wasn't, but a lot
of them were. I mean there was a lot that
were like, yeah, it's like, holy shit. I think, with anything,
how do you.
Speaker 2: Get by the stage and turn that around into make it?
Speaker 3: Because that's your that's your your night, that's like your moment,
your shining thing. You're you get to be somebody other
than yourself, I think, and then you're stuck with yourself
and you can't figure things out, and uh that's where
I go. You know, people who were to some of
the people well, I think are the most successful are
the ones that have a discipline. They go to the
gym every day, they work out, they write, they sit
down and write every day. They have a discipline of
some kind. That's you know, the discipline.
Speaker 2: Every day I wake up at nine, I'm like, no, no,
I'm gonna roll over to lane thirty and then I'm
gonna start my day. I'll tell you what I'm on it.
I gotta be good at something. No, I woke up
about nine a day, Yeah, no big deal. Yeah, roll over,
eat some coffee, took a shower, got already. That's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's into your day, buddy.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right. It is. Yes. Well, like like.
Speaker 3: Life's not easy, it's never gonna stop coming at its
keep it. You gotta you gotta find your own resilience
to that stuff. And if it's sleeping on nine thirty
and you know, eventually having a heart attack like a whale,
like like the whales to die and they bring them
on shore and they have to blow them up because
they're so big they can't chop them up in the Oh, I.
Speaker 2: Didn't know they did that. Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Put a bunch of fire crackers in my mouth? There
was Well, I did not know.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. They're on YouTube and I played it
on the podcast. There's an old news story where a whale,
a dead whale, washes up on a beach in Oregon
and all these people come out to watch as they're
gonna blow it up, and they have everybody back back
back from a certain distance.
Speaker 2: They fucking blow it up. It ranged blubber all over everybody.
Speaker 3: People's cars got dented, people got injured, Like, yeah, it's just.
Speaker 2: A boom, and you're just the do this on a
regular basis. I think do they they have that whales
up on the beach and they try to roam back
in and Sam, I haven't heard this.
Speaker 3: No, I'm saying that this was a This whale died
and it just somehow, you know, the over in the
current wound up on the on the beach and it
was huge.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: I think they still try to blow them up.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Maybe they go in with saws now cut it. But
they can't have it there because it's the smell, right,
the smell was I mean, put.
Speaker 2: Some dynamit everybody, make everybody go deaf and have blubbered,
piss and blood. You want to hear that? That's more humane?
Would you like to hear the news report?
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, We'll take a moment and I'll come
back with the news report for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got you want to see it again.
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Delicious memorable Cobblestone. On maine or every moment is. A
celebration here's the story of the. Exploding, whale okay this
is the.
Speaker 2: News story we had to.
Speaker 5: Be Said The Oregon State highway division not only had
a whale.
Speaker 4: Of a problem on, its Hands which i've had a
stinky whale of.
Speaker 2: A problem stinky what to do with.
Speaker 5: One forty five foot eight ton whale dead on arrival
on the Beach.
Speaker 4: Near florence it had been so long since a whale
had washed Up In lane county nobody could remember how
to get rid. Of one in selecting its, battle Plan
The highway division decided the carcass couldn't be buried because
it might soon. Be uncovered it couldn't be cut up
and then buried because nobody wanted to cut, it up
and it couldn't. Be burned so dynamite, it was some
twenty cases or a half ton of it went.
Speaker 2: In doubt, somebody's watching somebody's, watching news and then Good
Times diamaga marza. CALLING number i got the.
Speaker 3: You're working, It, too ready We, Asked, George.
Speaker 2: Hey, Bill, Yeah bob hey. My grass george doesn't. Open
dynamite you're gonna fix?
Speaker 4: That fucker Anything is we're not sure just exactly how
much explosives it'll take to.
Speaker 5: Disintegraph this anybody's sayings and.
Speaker 2: Crabs and what knot can clean?
Speaker 5: It up is there any chances if there's any large
chunks left and we may have to do some other,
clean up possibly set.
Speaker 4: Another charge dynamite was buried primarily on the leeward side
Of the, big mammal so as most of the remains
would be blown toward. The sea about seventy, five bystanders
most of them residents who had first found the will
to be an object of curiosity before they tired of,
its smell were moved back a quarter of a, mile
away covered with spectators and land, lubber newsmen shortly to
have become land blubber newsman und lifted blubber beyond all.
Believable bounds, You, ever buss this's gonna be?
Speaker 6: The, captain yeah, nine, seven six five, Four three get?
Ready done hang on, Two, one, okay.
Speaker 3: Okay explodes.
Speaker 2: People are. Getting, pelted pelted here cuts pieces.
Speaker 4: Of it. Look out our cameras stopped rolling immediately after.
The blast the humor of the entire situation suddenly gave
way to a run for survival as huge chunks of
whale blubber. Fell everywhere pieces of meat passed high over,
our heads while others were falling at. Our feet the
dunes were rapidly evacuated as spectators escaped both the falling
debris and the. Overwhelming smell man's car car for a
quarter of a mile from the blast sight was the
target of one large chunk just out in, the apartment
Literally smat fortunately no human was hit as badly as. The,
car however everyone on the scene was covered with small
particles of. Dead, whale, hey.
Speaker 2: Hey you, Go. Free willie, oh god that was one
of my favorite.
Speaker 3: NEWS stories i think it was nineteen eighty two when, The,
store no It is, november twelve. Nineteen seventy. My.
Speaker 2: BAD wow i don't KNOW why i. Was, BORN yeah
i was four. Months old yeah there.
Speaker 3: You go, oh, wow yeah boom.
Speaker 2: Oh god that's.
Speaker 3: That's terrible as we Uh as i'm going through and,
cleaning out maybe you saw this when you Move to
we waste money on fucking dumb ship all. The TIME
AND i i was just talking. To somebody, they're like, oh,
YEAH man i went down a YouTube binge one stuff,
getting HEALTHY and i bought all. This stuff guess where
it is in the box in the CLASS and, I.
Speaker 2: Go i will not. Do that no crazy to work out,
at home which we.
Speaker 3: Don't, do YEAH but i mean it's like we we
just spend money on. DUMB ship i love you? Know
WHAT then i can't RAN. UP qvc i Didn't even
i've never even.
Speaker 2: Bought it one of the. Greatest scammers. I'M sorry i
was just talking to somebody the. Other. Day goodwill why
you're getting stuff donated and they're. Selling. It yeah all
they're doing is paying employees. And rent they're getting their ship.
For free it's a. IT'S amazing i Love good, will
TOO so i can go buy other. PEOPLE'S ship i
do find. LITTLE knickknacks i find baskets for my. Breast,
cancers yeah That's what. I'm SAYING and i think it's
great too. For PEOPLE but, i mean if you think
about THE con I wish i would have if there
was ONE idea i wish you had.
Speaker 3: Was, goodwill, goodwill yes because they because you donate, your
stuff right and You and i'll tell, you what you
sometimes feel better when you donate, your stuff when you
clean your. Ship OUT but i have like a stack
of JEANS that i can't get past the beginning of
the cheeks of my Ass because I'M so i put
on WEIGHT and i CAN'T and i, Keep going i'm Gonna, GET.
Speaker 2: Yeah i have an, old shirt like that great shirt.
Speaker 3: Used to look good, and YEAH and.
Speaker 2: I put on, shorts today go not.
Speaker 3: Wearing, KNEES yeah i debated out.
Speaker 2: Of this if it's too, tight fitting you can tell
me if.
Speaker 3: It is if that's too, tight fitting fine?
Speaker 4: Is?
Speaker 2: It yeah because you, know WHAT because i ordered A
triple excel and they came into, Now day, I'm like
i'll go with A double Xcel and i'll just be comfortable.
With myself part of life is being comfortable. With yourself
SO when i go to that birthday party day this is,
Coming off i'll put THE three. X on, you?
Speaker 3: Are okay you going A three? X?
Speaker 2: Easy easy.
Speaker 1: How?
Speaker 2: Much dynamit YOU think i need? A bowl you want
particles that need, see again we're, so right you know
you you think you get tired of that smell? Every
week every week goes. To, DYNAMITES well i don't want
to chop, her UP and i don't want to. Bury
her i'll let the seagulls and the crab take care
OF the.
Speaker 3: I have a friend who worked in the bottom Squad From,
monroe COUNTY and i think another friend of, him, goes,
hey man can you get me some? Diamonite dynamite and, he, Goes,
What no, he goes can't you just sign out some dynamite?
Speaker 2: For?
Speaker 4: Me?
Speaker 3: What why, he, Goes, because UH because i want to
get some stumps removed from.
Speaker 2: My yard, he, goes no you don't you want to remove.
Speaker 3: Your?
Speaker 2: Neighbor yeah what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 3: With dynamite if you knew someone, had dynamite don't you, question, like, hey.
Speaker 2: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa what's going? ON here i
question people that don't uh take care of their dogs
or without a leash, just, that yeah, you know because.
That's Dangerous and i've had a friend's granddaughter tagged. By
pitbull yeah it was. Years, ago yeah, thank god plastic surgery.
Fix everything but, even then just being a responsible. Dog
OWNER and i, love dogs don't get, me wrong, but,
YEAH no i get that a lot of. People Are
but i'm.
Speaker 3: Saying dynamite if you had a friend who goes, A
dog i got a couple of sticks.
Speaker 2: Of dynamite if you want to what the fuck are?
We doing what are we doing? With that what are?
Speaker 3: YOU doing i think years AGO when i was, A
kid i remember like the house shook a little bit
and my, father.
Speaker 2: Yelled didud jump out of the?
Speaker 3: Waft AGAIN because i used to leap out of the
Loft down it was like a good eight nine feet,
and uh the whole house would kind.
Speaker 2: Of shake when you.
Speaker 3: Did That and, i'm, LIKE no i wasn't even in
that end of.
Speaker 2: The.
Speaker 3: House uh somebody was building a HOME and i think they.
GOT dynamite i, think no and like and blew themselves
up in the, House, suside yeah but blew up the.
Whole thing and it was, so bad like we were
four or five. Miles away it shook like, You know
i'm just watching this, this well no wonder a. QUARTER
mile i have, no idea.
Speaker 2: But nitel glycering or remember that some movies are it's, in, yeah. Yeah, Yeah,
yeah wow that was for a drilling through mountains for
the railroad right. Years ago that's kind of. An oops
we made this great thing that we can use to
blow up and if it gets too hot. Or shakes
it's in old. Time, movies.
Speaker 3: YEAH glistening i do remember a. LITTLE bit, I think,
i think WHY do I think i've done something with
NITRO glistering, a small, SMALL level. I HOPE so i
thought there was some kind of your fingers.
Speaker 2: AND toes i.
Speaker 3: Don't, KNOW yeah i can still, do math, so yes,
one two take.
Speaker 2: Away three it's the sort. Of Thing so dougie's got
a big birthday, party Tonight and i'm picking up somebody from,
the airport a friend of.
Speaker 3: Mine, today yeah who's going to the party, as well
coming in for, the party coming In.
Speaker 2: From dallas they just called Me To so i'm gonna. Pick,
Up yeah i'm gonna. Go home i'm gonna pick up,
deviled eggs. Double, legs yeah, thank, you sorry thirty six.
Double leggs take be responsible in. That drink go pick
my friend up for, the airport drop, him off. Go
home then. Uber there oh you're going back to.
Speaker 3: The party Yeah for Act Two, fresh yeah AND then
i have. A, few yeah, your cocktail, that's smart and,
you know and here's a great chuck TODAY before, i
left it's only thirteen dollars from, my house so it's twenty,
six yeah compared to a ten thousand DOLLARS.
Speaker 2: D wy if you are you're drinking, and driving you're. An, idiot,
yeah honestly just set aside a little. Little budget let,
me see this is smart what you're doing going to.
The party you can see lame? Not lame does it
have a little life? In it could it?
Speaker 3: Turn around WHAT do i need to do to bring
some fun? To it then, you leave and then you
come back in your elvis suit and you. Start sinking,
oh wait that's.
Speaker 2: Your, dad sorry you talk. About dynamite.
Speaker 3: Your dad by, the way got a, somebody, said.
Speaker 2: Oh by, The Way doug phelps? Is gold Who Not.
Speaker 3: Doug Felts dave phelps is gold when he's on excuse?
Speaker 2: Me GOLD so i. Said, That, Yeah, Texas kathy now
before we Left, for Bingo he alexis played This Uh, John,
hyatt yeah this, song Saga and kathy's just kind of shaking.
Her head, i'm like, don't worry you're gonna hear it
every night before you go to bed as he finishes. His,
day now because it's what, Is this it's the Song
that bill Ends his, Tennessee, Place yeah, Tennessee place so
you're gonna hear a Lot. More canthy it's a little Tribute. To, elvis,
YEAH yeah i. LOVE it i know. You know it
was one of my favorite Songs For, dougie phelps who
was blowing.
Speaker 3: Him, Up boom Yeah goes dougie's dynamite And his salven
shirt looking.
Speaker 2: All Summery I'm. Bill moran we'll see.
Speaker 3: You tomorrow sea somewhere.
Speaker 4: In the
Speaker 2: Sad what ever Named The dark flower