Speaker 1: Welcome to Living a Life by Design. It's the journey
Speaker 1: back to you and living three hundred and sixty five
Speaker 1: days of purpose with your host Esther Graham. Did you
Speaker 1: know your accountability and possibility is by design? God designed
Speaker 1: a phenomenal life for you, gave you the gift of choice.
Speaker 1: Esther helps empower you to discover and pursue the purpose
Speaker 1: that is already in you. Are you ready to look
Speaker 1: at yourself and see your future? Then get back to
Speaker 1: what is really important in life and get in alignment
Speaker 1: with your true self. Stay tuned to living a life
Speaker 1: by Design, journey back to you and start living three
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty five days of purpose with your host,
Speaker 1: Esther Graham. It all starts now.
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome to another show of Living your Life
Speaker 2: by Design with me your host, doctor Esther Graham. And
Speaker 2: today I have a wonderful guest that I'm so super
Speaker 2: excited to introduce you to, Sharon Lee Williams. So I'm
Speaker 2: going to just share a little bit about Sharon. Sharon
Speaker 2: and I met probably about maybe two maybe almost three
Speaker 2: years ago, of course all virtual, and then we met
Speaker 2: each other in person, I believe twice. If I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 2: but there was just just a connection between us. Sharon
Speaker 2: lives in Canada and has this powerful story, just her
Speaker 2: energy and just who she is as a person. We
Speaker 2: just really connected and so I'm honored because she has
Speaker 2: a very busy schedule that she has taken the time
Speaker 2: to come and speak with us today because she has
Speaker 2: so much to share. So I'm gonna quickly read her
Speaker 2: bio because I don't want to get anything wrong. Then
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna We're just gonna have a casual conversation
Speaker 2: about Sharon Lee's life and everything that she's done. So
Speaker 2: Sharon Lee Williams is an out raised voice advocate, producer,
Speaker 2: and host of Outrace Voices, a platform amplifying stories of belonging, identity,
Speaker 2: and healing for those who raised outside for those raised
Speaker 2: outside of their family of origin. Based on her lived
Speaker 2: experience in foster care and extensive experience in the music industry,
Speaker 2: Sharon Lee creates a stage for honest conversation and connection.
Speaker 2: Sharon Lee's new book, Outrace Voices, Finding My Voice Beyond
Speaker 2: Foster Care will be released or maybe it already has
Speaker 2: been released. We're going to find out early this spring.
Speaker 2: Along with her new single so, guys, she's got a
Speaker 2: lot to share with us. So her work centers voices,
Speaker 2: not labels, and invites audiences to see resilience, humanity, and hope.
Speaker 2: So let's just welcome Sharon Lee Williams. Welcome, Sharon Lee.
Speaker 2: How are you?
Speaker 3: I am great, doctor Esther, Esther, Esther. I'm so happy
Speaker 3: to be here with you, really happy to be here
Speaker 3: and see you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You always look so beautiful and I'm happy, super happy,
Speaker 2: uh to have you here. I feel like if it's
Speaker 2: been a while since we've seen each other or even
Speaker 2: really had a really good conversation. So we have to
Speaker 2: make sure that as the summer goes that at some
Speaker 2: point we connect if we're in the States somewhere together, right,
Speaker 2: or if I come to Canada. If I come to Canada, yeah,
Speaker 2: I might be, you know, I might be coming the summer,
Speaker 2: but I want to. I don't want to. We're just
Speaker 2: going to have a casual conversation. I just really want
Speaker 2: to talk to you about, you know, uh, finding your
Speaker 2: voice after foster care and I know, uh or your
Speaker 2: voice beyond foster care. First of all, let me ask you,
Speaker 2: did your single, did your book get released?
Speaker 3: Did you're oh please this book. Honestly, it is probably
Speaker 3: the hardest thing I've ever done. You know, I don't
Speaker 3: know how a memoir goes. This is but it started
Speaker 3: like twenty years ago and then it got put to
Speaker 3: bed and started up again a couple of years ago,
Speaker 3: so we're almost there. Honestly, I was speaking with the
Speaker 3: publisher today, but I'm trying to coincide the release of
Speaker 3: the single because the song. I wrote the song a
Speaker 3: couple of years ago when I knew I was doing
Speaker 3: this memoir, and it's called Beautiful Mess and it really
Speaker 3: speaks to the idea of when I was aging out
Speaker 3: of foster care and what a mess I felt I
Speaker 3: was and you know, going through that at that time.
Speaker 3: So to answer your questions, it ain't out yet, but
Speaker 3: soon soon soon, as.
Speaker 2: They say it soon come right, it soon comes soon
Speaker 2: come yea So perfect. Well, this is good because it
Speaker 2: leads me into my first question is and that is,
Speaker 2: you know, as a child in foster care, what were
Speaker 2: some of the messages you believed about yourself and what
Speaker 2: was the turning point that helped you to begin rewriting
Speaker 2: your story.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't eat as a child in foster care,
Speaker 3: and remember, I'm going to go back. I'm seventy six
Speaker 3: years old. So in those days, we're also dealing with
Speaker 3: people who didn't really express themselves. So I didn't have
Speaker 3: an idea what I was missing. I just knew. I
Speaker 3: knew about abandonment, but I didn't know the word. I
Speaker 3: knew I felt less than, but I didn't know the word.
Speaker 3: I was just not always unhappy, not always, but always
Speaker 3: searching why. You know, it was always the question why,
Speaker 3: Because I knew I was a foster child. Why did
Speaker 3: my parents my biologic why did they leave me behind?
Speaker 3: Why hasn't anybody come back to get me, to save me,
Speaker 3: to love me, to hold me? Why?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 3: Why? So those were my those were my big questions,
Speaker 3: my understanding. So in that understanding, it going forward that
Speaker 3: I didn't feel valued and I didn't feel worthy, even
Speaker 3: though you know, to some degree I was loved with
Speaker 3: my first foster mother, although that's not happened me. I
Speaker 3: didn't know that because language was entirely different than you know,
Speaker 3: what I would have liked. But yeah, so that's basically
Speaker 3: and when did it turn around for me? I'm kind
Speaker 3: of thinking when I hit about forty Yeah, okay, when
Speaker 3: I really well. I I had a child at thirty nine.
Speaker 2: I had my child.
Speaker 3: It's a single mother at thirty nine. And by this
Speaker 3: time I thought I was going to be a single woman.
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to have a family, just decided it.
Speaker 3: I had bought a home when I was my first
Speaker 3: house when I was thirty one, and it was a
Speaker 3: big year because I also met my biological parents at
Speaker 3: thirty thirty one, and then discovered that I had a
Speaker 3: biological sister about six months later, you know, from the
Speaker 3: same father, and my mother kept her soon, not that
Speaker 3: they were together, but my mother, Betty, kept this child
Speaker 3: and her name this is short thirty but her name
Speaker 3: is Joy. And I remember when I found that out.
Speaker 3: I remember feeling like such a little kid again, Like
Speaker 3: here I was a grown woman. I had, you know,
Speaker 3: I had things. I was on TV, I was doing stuff,
Speaker 3: you know. But I found that this girl that she kept,
Speaker 3: her name was Joy. And in my mine, I created
Speaker 3: a story. Oh, she kept her because and named her
Speaker 3: Joy because she was happy to have her. And do
Speaker 3: do do do do do do? I had a story.
Speaker 3: And I still wasn't worthy. I'm like a thirty one
Speaker 3: year old woman, still not feeling like I had done enough,
Speaker 3: so it I don't really even with all the I
Speaker 3: would say successes or buying a home on my own
Speaker 3: or whatever it was, it was still like armor and
Speaker 3: a protection, and I still didn't own it. It was
Speaker 3: just something I did. It's like feeling the fear and
Speaker 3: doing it anyhow, or I don't know, maybe I was
Speaker 3: proving it to myself. And when I became pregnant, I knew, okay,
Speaker 3: this we're not gonna go. I'm not going to go
Speaker 3: into this with all this baggage. Let me start working
Speaker 3: on the baggage that I didn't necessarily know I had
Speaker 3: because I'm a cool by that time. I'm cool. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm making money, I got help.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what success sometimes does for us, too, right,
Speaker 2: It covers up. It helps us to really avoid the
Speaker 2: things that's really inside of us that we need to
Speaker 2: unpack so we can behole. You know. Yeah, so it's
Speaker 2: amazing thirty one you're still feeling unworthy. That just lets
Speaker 2: us know that doesn't matter what age we are. If
Speaker 2: you're feeling unworthy, you're just feeling unworthy. And it's now
Speaker 2: going in to find out why is it? Exactly? I
Speaker 2: feel this way and what is it I need to do?
Speaker 2: So I love that, Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Because I had a voice. My voice was on stage,
Speaker 3: my voice was singing in studios, but I didn't have
Speaker 3: like a ground who I was.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 3: I had an exterior vision of what it was and
Speaker 3: what people responded to. Right, So you're going to hold
Speaker 3: on to that that success. I mean a house, I'm
Speaker 3: doing it this and then comes a child comes along?
Speaker 3: What you bring a child into your life and you
Speaker 3: go pull it together? Or at least that's to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's dig dig dig deep.
Speaker 2: I think many of us and I think this is
Speaker 2: humanity as a whole. You know, we tend to dress
Speaker 2: up on the outside, you know, and make sure our
Speaker 2: face and everything looks good and not that it's not.
Speaker 2: But we tend to do that because that's let's say,
Speaker 2: we use that as a covering sometimes again, as I
Speaker 2: said earlier, to really identify and really say this is
Speaker 2: really how I feel about this, And it always takes
Speaker 2: something to happen for you. It was having your your
Speaker 2: your son, like well I need to I need to
Speaker 2: pull this together, why so I could be a better
Speaker 2: mother for my son. You know, but it always I
Speaker 2: feel takes something to like pull us in too, for
Speaker 2: us to let's I like to call it the journey
Speaker 2: back to you, for us to begin to take that
Speaker 2: journey back to ourselfs rediscovering, refinding, and unpacking who we
Speaker 2: really who we really are. So I think that's just
Speaker 2: so so powerful. Sidebar conversation real quick, before we take
Speaker 2: a quick break, everyone, Sharon Lee said that she is
Speaker 2: seventy six years old. Now, come on, does she look
Speaker 2: good or what It's like? Yes, she just looks phenomenal,
Speaker 2: So you don't look seventy six. I was like, seventy six.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so yay, you know, and I love it
Speaker 2: because seventy six and you are still doing it like
Speaker 2: you're not saying, you know, well, you know, I'm seventy six.
Speaker 2: It's time for me to stop and retire. Right So
Speaker 2: you are doing it so great, great, great, great kudos
Speaker 2: to you. We will be right back. We're going on
Speaker 2: a quick break.
Speaker 5: The Crystal Coach Show sharing clarity, guidance, and practical wisdom
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Speaker 7: What if justice wasn't just about systems? What about the soul?
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Speaker 2: Welcome back everyone to live in your life by Design.
Speaker 2: With my very special guest Sharon Lee Williams, we are
Speaker 2: going to continue our conversation. So, Sharley, one of the
Speaker 2: reasons I think that I really connected with you and
Speaker 2: just really loved your story is that in my family,
Speaker 2: I have a brother, my younger brother, that was adopted
Speaker 2: several years after I'd moved out of the home and
Speaker 2: my parents adopted him out of the foster care By
Speaker 2: then I'd already I think I'd already gone, I'd already
Speaker 2: gotten married, living overseas, and they adopted him. And then
Speaker 2: my sister adopted one of her sons out of the
Speaker 2: foster care system, and then my niece adopted her son
Speaker 2: out of the foster care system, and interest in with
Speaker 2: all of these stories, is that their bio mom or
Speaker 2: their you know, parents kept some of the siblings and
Speaker 2: let these go. And and always wondering why was that?
Speaker 2: And I look back to my to my little brother,
Speaker 2: who was extremely successful, very you know, just he's just
Speaker 2: a wonderful person. And not too long ago, I think
Speaker 2: was last year a year before last, that he actually
Speaker 2: reconnected with his his bio mom, and it was just
Speaker 2: a different it was just a really different space for him.
Speaker 2: And I remember us talking about it, and he said,
Speaker 2: you know, because he he now has a daughter, he's
Speaker 2: a single dad, you know, but he said he had
Speaker 2: to make the decision that that connection was was not
Speaker 2: good for him. You know, it was, but he did
Speaker 2: remain in connection with his siblings, his bio his bio siblings,
Speaker 2: which is which is really good, but it's interesting. And
Speaker 2: then of course the other two never reconnected with their bios,
Speaker 2: at least not to my knowledge. But so I was
Speaker 2: always interested in when I look at you and I
Speaker 2: look at your life and everything that you're doing, you know,
Speaker 2: I always wondered, how does that feel like? And that
Speaker 2: really opened me up just meeting you, to have a
Speaker 2: conversation with my little brother as to what was I
Speaker 2: never even thought, you know, but it was just so
Speaker 2: interesting for him to share and for him to talk about,
Speaker 2: you know, what that felt like and all of those
Speaker 2: different things and how did it feel coming for us,
Speaker 2: you know, we adopted him coming into a family, but
Speaker 2: before we did, he was the foster and then my
Speaker 2: parents decided to adopt him, and then he made the
Speaker 2: decision to take on our last our last name. So
Speaker 2: that was really so I think that's why I just
Speaker 2: really enjoyed listening to you talk and just you know,
Speaker 2: everything that you're doing, because I think it gives me
Speaker 2: to that connection. I just met long story short, I
Speaker 2: just met a niece and she lives in Canada, and
Speaker 2: she was also adopted, right and apparently her mom was
Speaker 2: single and and never told you know, her bio dad
Speaker 2: that that she was pregnant, and so discovered that this
Speaker 2: this was my niece, and she found you know, she
Speaker 2: found my brother in law, and so it's just been
Speaker 2: a wonderful, wonderful relationship, especially she was adopted and then
Speaker 2: her adoptive parents passed away, and so but listening again
Speaker 2: to that story just always intrigues me because I think
Speaker 2: that we forget that there is a whole community out
Speaker 2: there of foster children who has aged out. And what
Speaker 2: I found is that I'm meeting a lot of foster people.
Speaker 2: One of my good friends Amy aged out of the
Speaker 2: foster king system super like you, Sharon Lee, super successful,
Speaker 2: super happy, and then went and reconnected with her bio
Speaker 2: mom and her sister, you know, and for her, her
Speaker 2: whole all of her sisters were imposter can she went
Speaker 2: back and she got all of them. So so powerful story. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's so good. Yeah, and the different journey that everyone
Speaker 2: has gone through, and thank God willing to share like
Speaker 2: you're willing to share because it helps others and even
Speaker 2: people who've never experienced that personally, you know, but it
Speaker 2: helps me to understand and to open up my understanding.
Speaker 2: And so when you say you're finding your voice after
Speaker 2: Foster care, what does finding your voice actually mean to you?
Speaker 2: And when did you realize that your voice matters? Like
Speaker 2: you have a voice and it it matters.
Speaker 3: I am still you know, owning that that my voice matters.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know it does, but there's certain times
Speaker 3: that you have to reset the mindset say hey, my
Speaker 3: voice does matter now in terms of what it means
Speaker 3: to me finding my voice. And I'm going to go
Speaker 3: back to when we have this voice as a baby.
Speaker 3: As babies, we have this voice and we cry unapologetically,
Speaker 3: we you know, whatever it is we do. And then
Speaker 3: one of the first words we learn is no no
Speaker 3: when we're trying to what you know, get our personalities happening.
Speaker 3: And then of course life kicks in and we learned
Speaker 3: to silence that. So I could sing. The voice was
Speaker 3: as I said before, that wasn't complicated. And I didn't
Speaker 3: know I could sing until somebody hired me. I didn't
Speaker 3: know that that was a job that I'd be able
Speaker 3: to sing commercials, that was a job that you get
Speaker 3: paid for and I could buy a house from I
Speaker 3: didn't know that. So I my voice found me one
Speaker 3: aspect of it. The other one was still hidden. So
Speaker 3: finding my voice through experiences, finding my voice through chaos,
Speaker 3: and I would say even having having a child not
Speaker 3: I wasn't prepared, you know. So that is a bit
Speaker 3: of chaos that that goes. Oh okay, now you've got
Speaker 3: to get You've got to get into it. Now, you've
Speaker 3: got to fill this out. You've talked about it.
Speaker 2: Who am I?
Speaker 3: Because who are we when the lights go down? As
Speaker 3: I always say, when you're home alone, you're figuring, you know,
Speaker 3: I'd come home crying in my own head, like not
Speaker 3: necessarily crying out lam, but crying like why did I
Speaker 3: say that? Why did I talk so much? Why did
Speaker 3: I try to make myself bigger than what I was?
Speaker 3: Because I wasn't enough. I didn't feel enough. You didn't
Speaker 3: feel you know, So you get situation and you're talking crap.
Speaker 3: And I knew I was talking crap, but I couldn't
Speaker 3: stop myself. I just wanted to be heard and what
Speaker 3: I thought was being heard in any way, shape or form,
Speaker 3: and whether that's through relationships or uh love interests or
Speaker 3: whatever it is. So you can keep all of those
Speaker 3: experiences now and the music and this and that. That's
Speaker 3: and becoming a business woman. That's how I found my voice.
Speaker 3: And I'm still finding my voice. And here I am
Speaker 3: at this age, still doing whatever it is and television show,
Speaker 3: recording this, that and the other thing to say, why
Speaker 3: don't you retire? And I go retire from what? What exactly?
Speaker 2: Am? I? Yeah? So good? Yeah?
Speaker 3: So this is this is I'm still finding it because
Speaker 3: it's this doing this with you is still new, it's
Speaker 3: still a voice, It's still how do I become authentic?
Speaker 3: Not become How am I who I am with esther?
Speaker 3: How am I who I am with people I meet?
Speaker 3: And be okay with that? Be okay if I be okay?
Speaker 3: So good words and all of that stuff. Because the
Speaker 3: voice I had in foster care was I wasn't enough,
Speaker 3: I was good enough, I wasn't loved enough. I wasn't enough.
Speaker 3: But that voice is gone.
Speaker 2: Gone, and now your voices, I'm more than enough, and
Speaker 2: I'm just going to be me. I'm going to be authentic.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be who I am who God made
Speaker 2: me to be. This is it? Take it or leave it? Right?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Did you have anyone, like even in foster care
Speaker 2: or anywhere that that you felt that spoke into your
Speaker 2: life or just kind of mentorship.
Speaker 3: No, I'm under sure. I'm hoping that my guess on
Speaker 3: outrage that's what I think that people help other people
Speaker 3: Like you're talking you, you have to be made aware
Speaker 3: that you don't even know your neighbor has been in
Speaker 3: care or kinship.
Speaker 2: Right, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3: You don't know that because it wasn't at that was
Speaker 3: all we don't want to talk about. We don't. You know,
Speaker 3: I didn't belong somewhere, because that's belonging. Somebody didn't want you.
Speaker 3: But that's not always the case people. Some people didn't
Speaker 3: want you, but they didn't want kids. But other people
Speaker 3: just did something they felt would be better for the child. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so that voice also says forgiveness. My voice also comes
Speaker 3: with the forgiveness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so important, so important. And I love how you
Speaker 2: also said sometimes you have to renew your mind, you know,
Speaker 2: like you've got to renew you gotta and people think, oh, no,
Speaker 2: you have it's continual renewing. The mind is continual, so
Speaker 2: you can continue to move forward, right, Yeah, And I
Speaker 2: think that not that I think I know that what
Speaker 2: you are doing is really uh. People are I think
Speaker 2: just from outgrades voices, they're more aware of the foster
Speaker 2: care system. I mean, I think people know they're the
Speaker 2: poster care system, but they don't know the foster care system,
Speaker 2: meaning they don't know the people, how they how the
Speaker 2: children may feel, what are they experiencing, all of those things.
Speaker 2: And I think you just really wear a raise awareness
Speaker 2: to that that someone may say, you know, I want
Speaker 2: to get involved in this. You know, I want to
Speaker 2: serve more in this area. Right everyone, We're going to
Speaker 2: take a quick break and we'll be right back.
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Speaker 2: Welcome back everyone. So we are just having a powerful,
Speaker 2: powerful conversation finding your voice beyond foster care and listen.
Speaker 2: And I was just telling Sharon Lee while we're on
Speaker 2: a break that you know, what she's doing is just
Speaker 2: really raising the awareness of the of children and foster
Speaker 2: care and what they experience and what you know, how
Speaker 2: they feel, but also how they could also be so
Speaker 2: uh successful, you know, and what they're doing. And of
Speaker 2: course Sharon Lee is a perfect example. So we're going
Speaker 2: to continue uh this uh let's say enlightening conversation y'all.
Speaker 2: And I have to remember Sharon Lee that I'm the host,
Speaker 2: because I'm listening. I'm like, oh, yeah, I need to
Speaker 2: ask a question. Well, I'm like, oh, yes, it's all good.
Speaker 3: I just want to say that, you know, in terms
Speaker 3: of the of children, I always remind myself that unhealed
Speaker 3: children become unhealed adults. Yes, it doesn't necessarily go away.
Speaker 3: And also life takes this thing. So the healing for
Speaker 3: I find for people gets who come on the show,
Speaker 3: they have their own healing. Uh. It's cathartic for them
Speaker 3: to share their story and to feel that that they're
Speaker 3: delivering a message and maybe being a mentor in some
Speaker 3: sort of way. And possibility. I do want youth to
Speaker 3: feel that things are possible. There's you know, there's a tunnel,
Speaker 3: there's a dark time and then you've got to find
Speaker 3: the light, make the choices, and they're not always right,
Speaker 3: but they're your choices.
Speaker 2: They're your choices.
Speaker 3: And I mean I made some crappy ones, no question
Speaker 3: about it. But and I also have to say and
Speaker 3: I think I said this to you too. And I'm
Speaker 3: not particularly religious or not, but I'm very connected to God.
Speaker 3: I use God as my you know. Yeah, I have
Speaker 3: to say that. I remember when I was going through
Speaker 3: some real dark times and that was when that connection
Speaker 3: I reconnected and I asked for help. So if you
Speaker 3: ask me about that at that point and still is
Speaker 3: it is my mentor. I don't go to church, but
Speaker 3: that is my mentor. Yeah, yeah, And I thank him
Speaker 3: her it whatever, every day, grateful to be here.
Speaker 2: Two.
Speaker 3: We all don't don't necessarily want to go through the
Speaker 3: struggles that we have, but those struggles are that's who
Speaker 3: I am. It's not all of me, but they this
Speaker 3: is what it is. It is what it is, and
Speaker 3: I made life from it. And I looked at the
Speaker 3: chaos and the anger and I couldn't live there anymore.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be angry and hateful and and
Speaker 3: uh be a victim.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yes, to be a victim. Yeah, so important.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know GPS, you know, I God is
Speaker 2: my GPS as well, Like you know, that's my mentor,
Speaker 2: that's who you know what I mean. So I totally
Speaker 2: understand what you're saying. You know, somebody that's gonna, I said,
Speaker 2: the GPS system that's just gonna you know, guide me,
Speaker 2: you know, even in the worst moments, because sometimes you
Speaker 2: do feel so alone. But that's that's the person who's
Speaker 2: here to guide you and to lead you. One other
Speaker 2: story I have, so I'm an educator, you know this
Speaker 2: by trade, and so and so in my early childhood centers,
Speaker 2: we often have foster care children and always touches my heart.
Speaker 2: But I remember this one particular one and I would
Speaker 2: give the foster mom and the dad a break and
Speaker 2: take this child. And my husband and I were taking
Speaker 2: steps to go ahead and adopt them, and someone beat
Speaker 2: us to it, like and I was like so so hurt.
Speaker 2: But and then you know, since then, our lifestyle change,
Speaker 2: and it was like what you know, it just got
Speaker 2: so busy. What it wouldn't have been healthy, you know,
Speaker 2: because I wouldn't been able to stay home like I
Speaker 2: did with my with my own children. But I just
Speaker 2: I guess I think it's so important. So the children
Speaker 2: that come in you talk about that come in. I've
Speaker 2: seen someone, I've seen some that have left, but now
Speaker 2: they're adults, and you're absolutely right that some of the
Speaker 2: hurt and the pain they are still carrying. And that's
Speaker 2: why while they're young. You know, if you're a foster
Speaker 2: parent out there and you're listening to this, please make
Speaker 2: sure that you're really serving your foster children from a
Speaker 2: good place, from a good art that they're just not
Speaker 2: money coming in, but you're doing it because you love
Speaker 2: and you want to serve them and treat them like
Speaker 2: they're yours, like they're your bio, right, and and and so,
Speaker 2: because that's what they need. They're there. It's not because
Speaker 2: of their choice. You know, they're there because there's no choice.
Speaker 2: And I think what you said sharing, you know, pointing
Speaker 2: them towards the way to where you're going to make mistakes.
Speaker 2: Things are going to happen as you go out. But
Speaker 2: even if we're not in foster care, guess what, we
Speaker 2: all make mistakes. You're just like everybody else. We all
Speaker 2: make mistakes. Yeah, so many people allow their past to
Speaker 2: define their future. Many of us do. How did you
Speaker 2: learn to honor your past without allowing it to limit
Speaker 2: your potential? And you've kind of spoke about this a
Speaker 2: little bit, collaborate on it a bit more.
Speaker 3: How did I how did I honor my past?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think that's an interesting question. How did I honor
Speaker 3: my past? I don't know if I. I think by
Speaker 3: putting it in the book is one thing. Yeah, by
Speaker 3: acknowledging it, by having the show that says I'm not
Speaker 3: hiding anymore, and and by being who I am today.
Speaker 3: I think being who I'm still becoming, still growing into still.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know it sounds finding your voice, finding
Speaker 3: my voice at seventies, yes, yes, And I hope everybody
Speaker 3: else out there is still doing that as well, finding becoming,
Speaker 3: because you know, life is a challenge, but there's beauty
Speaker 3: and joy as well as the dark clouds that kind
Speaker 3: of circle around. But so I look for a lot
Speaker 3: of beauty and joy, and I am blessed. I am
Speaker 3: really really blessed to be in the situation I'm in,
Speaker 3: to have health, to have, you know, to be able
Speaker 3: to financially show up. So I know I'm blessed. But
Speaker 3: I also tell people. I also made choices. I made choices,
Speaker 3: and I can't say that anytime you make a choice
Speaker 3: it's going to work out. And it's not like buying
Speaker 3: a lottery ticket.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but life is kind of like that.
Speaker 3: But you know, it's just that's how I honor it
Speaker 3: by being better than the story that I aged out with,
Speaker 3: better than the story that people might have given me,
Speaker 3: because I wanted my book. My foster mother, who I
Speaker 3: call mother, one of the things she said to me
Speaker 3: when I was young, she said, your mother should have
Speaker 3: drowned you. She said that to me, and I remember
Speaker 3: I was so young and I couldn't understand, and thinking myself,
Speaker 3: why would she say? What did I do? Did I
Speaker 3: not make my bed? And that stuck with me for
Speaker 3: years and years, even when I was writing the book,
Speaker 3: and I thought, oh my god, that's come up, and
Speaker 3: that's a terrible thing.
Speaker 2: It's a terrible thing to say.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a child to hold on to. And I didn't
Speaker 3: realize how tightly I held that and how I used it,
Speaker 3: and how my armor was so.
Speaker 7: Thick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yes, well you know, yeah, yeah. And the
Speaker 2: thing about it, you know, you are honoring it by
Speaker 2: the things that you're doing by the outrage voices. That's
Speaker 2: how you're honoring your past. And I think you're also
Speaker 2: honoring it because by doing everything that you're doing, you're
Speaker 2: helping those and everybody that you're really helping. You're not
Speaker 2: going to meet them, and you might never see them
Speaker 2: or anything like that, but I think that there's thousands
Speaker 2: and millions of people out there that that they're looking
Speaker 2: at you and they're listening, you know, and so you're
Speaker 2: helping them. And I love the fact that you say,
Speaker 2: you know, by acknowledging your story and telling it, you know,
Speaker 2: that is how you're honoring it. You're not hiding that
Speaker 2: that's from And I think sometime times what people, many
Speaker 2: of us don't realize that there's power in our story
Speaker 2: and so our story and what we have experience in life,
Speaker 2: it's not just for us anymore, especially as we begin.
Speaker 2: It's to help someone else along the way, because it's
Speaker 2: a powerful story, you know, and if we keep it
Speaker 2: to ourselves, then it dies with us, and then then
Speaker 2: it doesn't serve its intended purpose.
Speaker 3: You say, as you know, I'm going to be a grandmother. Sure,
Speaker 3: so if anything I said, this story has to come
Speaker 3: out of this legacy, because how long I'm going to
Speaker 3: be around for a little girl. But you know she's
Speaker 3: going to have all this materials say, oh that's who
Speaker 3: my wheremama was?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. And can I tell you, as
Speaker 2: a grandmother, that is like the best kind of love,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It's like a It's like
Speaker 2: a whole different type of love. It really, it really is.
Speaker 2: And even on your worst day, when I see my
Speaker 2: little grand loved, I call them grand loves. When I
Speaker 2: see my little grand love, They're like I just I
Speaker 2: just love them. I just love them. So yeah, that's
Speaker 2: a congratulation. That's a whole other love, right everyone, I
Speaker 2: know We'll be right back.
Speaker 5: The Crystal Coach Show sharing clarity, guidance, and practical wisdom
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Speaker 5: Time on Transformation Talk Radio dot com. On The Crystal
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Speaker 6: What if one decision could change everything. Charise Evans's best
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Speaker 6: Book with her today at Shreevans dot com.
Speaker 4: Besta Della Donna. If Esther Graham honors all women far
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Speaker 7: What if justice wasn't just about systems but about the soul.
Speaker 7: Join us on the Spiritual Justice Show with me Eric
Speaker 7: s Lee on the Transformation Network each first and third
Speaker 7: Tuesday at ten am Pacific. We bring together leaders, healers,
Speaker 7: and change makers to explore a new vision of justice, restorative, transformative,
Speaker 7: and deeply spiritual. Find out how spiritual justice could be
Speaker 7: your missing piece to transformation.
Speaker 2: Hey, welcome back everyone, So glad, so super excited that
Speaker 2: you decided to join us. Today we are having a
Speaker 2: powerful conversation with Sharon Lee Williams and we're going to continue.
Speaker 2: I hope you got your notepads out and you are
Speaker 2: just writing down all and every inf that you're getting,
Speaker 2: and later we're going to have Sharon Sharon Lee share
Speaker 2: her information with you. So, Sharon Lee, I have to
Speaker 2: sometimes I pause and I say, Sharon, I know.
Speaker 3: It's okay, all right, It's okay, all right.
Speaker 2: So today, right, you are successful and making an impact.
Speaker 2: What would you say to the young people once uh
Speaker 2: you were once? Or to the child currently imposter care
Speaker 2: who feels unseen, unheard or uncertain about their future? What
Speaker 2: would you say to that boy? What would you say
Speaker 2: to that girl?
Speaker 3: So see, well it's hard to say anything to youth
Speaker 3: who are going through it except to know there is
Speaker 3: a light at the end. There is a light, there
Speaker 3: are possibilities, and you're okay, find a mentor. If you
Speaker 3: can find a mentor, and you go to the life
Speaker 3: read up on read up. You know, people need to
Speaker 3: read a little bit more. Youth needs to say because
Speaker 3: what becomes our mentor when we're young, I know it's
Speaker 3: the street. If you don't have anybody, an adult in
Speaker 3: your life as a mentor, the street becomes your mentor.
Speaker 3: So find a mentor if you can, and know that
Speaker 3: you are more than enough. But saying that to a
Speaker 3: youth is like, oh please, I'm in this hell right now.
Speaker 3: What the hell can become heaven? Look at the choices.
Speaker 3: You try to make those choices early. Try to just
Speaker 3: try to love yourself a little bit more, even though
Speaker 3: it's very it's challenging, I understand. So I can't give
Speaker 3: you words of wisdom because I know when you're going
Speaker 3: through that, when you're young and going through it, it's
Speaker 3: just you cannot see the light. But there is light.
Speaker 3: There is light, There is light, there is possibility, there
Speaker 3: is hope, there is hope. Yeah, yeah, reach out, reach
Speaker 3: out to I think there is a lot of help
Speaker 3: in the communities now, but reach out. I think with
Speaker 3: the foster care system and they have a psychiatrist and therapists,
Speaker 3: reach out. Don't because I know kids get out and
Speaker 3: they just want to I don't want to talk to
Speaker 3: anybody anymore. I don't want to blah blah blah. I
Speaker 3: don't want to hear a thing about that. And what
Speaker 3: does freedom look like? So know some next steps. Know
Speaker 3: that you're going to be some people that are eighteen.
Speaker 3: Some people age out at twenty one. I'm not sure.
Speaker 3: It depends on your state, and I know it's different
Speaker 3: in Canada, but just know there are possibilities. I'm not
Speaker 3: electric to anybody. Just know there's hope and believe that
Speaker 3: this what is happening today to you. It's not the end.
Speaker 3: It's not the end. It's just part of your story.
Speaker 3: That page will turn, that that page will change.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love I love that. I'm going to share
Speaker 2: another story again, someone else that I met in the
Speaker 2: world of business and you know, personal development and all
Speaker 2: of that. And so she was young and her mother
Speaker 2: died right in front of her as a little girl
Speaker 2: and no family. So she ended up in foster care
Speaker 2: and she aged out of foster care. And she said
Speaker 2: when she aged out, she had nowhere to go. She
Speaker 2: didn't know what to do. And so she found a
Speaker 2: job and it was at a fast food restaurant, and
Speaker 2: she just started. She had to get a place to live.
Speaker 2: And so she find you know, just looking anywhere that
Speaker 2: where she can get help from. And then so she
Speaker 2: did was able to get help little. She got her job.
Speaker 2: She enrolled herself in a community college, and she just
Speaker 2: she said, I would go to school all day and
Speaker 2: walk in the night to go to my job because
Speaker 2: the fast food she said, I was in a little
Speaker 2: town dark. The fast food place would open til two,
Speaker 2: and you would see these drunk men or whatever. And
Speaker 2: she said, I would sometimes carry a bat with me
Speaker 2: just in case any of them came to attack me,
Speaker 2: that I can, you know, beat them, beat them down.
Speaker 2: She eventually got pregnant, you know, became a single mother.
Speaker 2: But here's the end of her story. She worked hard,
Speaker 2: she found herself a supportive community. You know, it took time,
Speaker 2: but she said, I didn't have a choice. She said,
Speaker 2: I knew I didn't want to live like this. She's
Speaker 2: the same story. She said, I didn't felt like enough.
Speaker 2: I didn't, but I was to this. I was too that.
Speaker 2: I was to all these different things, she said, But
Speaker 2: I worked hard, and today she became she's a multi
Speaker 2: millionaire and her business is because her mom was also
Speaker 2: a recovering attic and that's what she was around and
Speaker 2: all of that. She began to do work with people
Speaker 2: in recovery and that's basically what her business. She started
Speaker 2: a few nonprofits and all of these different things and
Speaker 2: then her own business. And she's a young woman. And
Speaker 2: so when you say find something, I think you know
Speaker 2: you can do it. There is light at the end
Speaker 2: of the tunnel. Make choices, and when you're making the choice,
Speaker 2: find it. I think your environment is important. Surrounding yourself
Speaker 2: with a supportive environment, the people that are going to
Speaker 2: say you can do this, you got this, you can
Speaker 2: do this, and not those who are going to pull
Speaker 2: you down or introduce you to things that's not that's
Speaker 2: not going to take you anywhere. You know. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: I think what you're saying is so important. You know,
Speaker 2: you mentioned you know, believe in yourself, you know, have hope,
Speaker 2: you know, use your fate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because belonging. You know, when kids when I aged
Speaker 3: out and it doesn't seem to change, but they want this.
Speaker 3: If you have no place to go, if you don't
Speaker 3: have family or kinship or something, there's belonging. You're looking
Speaker 3: for home. You're looking to belong Now, what are the
Speaker 3: choices with a lot of and we know in the
Speaker 3: jails a lot of youth have been through foster care've
Speaker 3: aged out of foster care. Whereas belonging, belonging can be
Speaker 3: in oh well, this gang says they've been, I know
Speaker 3: what they got, or this man who says he loves me,
Speaker 3: I know that. You know, so understanding belonging, it's very
Speaker 3: hard to even say, Okay, find a group. I don't
Speaker 3: know if the why exists. I don't know. Really different
Speaker 3: places have different things. But seek it out. Seek it out,
Speaker 3: like you're saying, find a group that can support you,
Speaker 3: and then say, yeah you go, girl, you go, guy,
Speaker 3: whatever you go, boy, you do it.
Speaker 2: You got it, you got it, you can do it.
Speaker 2: Got this you know. Let me help you.
Speaker 3: Here's find out financial literacy. Speak to someone and say, okay,
Speaker 3: you can work at wherever, but take don't necessarily buy
Speaker 3: the fifteen dollars coffee. You if you're making five dollars,
Speaker 3: take a dollar a week and put it away somewhere
Speaker 3: I don't know where you put it and let it
Speaker 3: stay there for a year. You have some do something
Speaker 3: because but they're they're they're. There are places you can
Speaker 3: go and talk about that. But don't be ashamed that
Speaker 3: because we come out with so much shame, you know,
Speaker 3: so we don't reach out for help.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we don't.
Speaker 3: Trust help coming out. Who are you going to trust?
Speaker 3: These adults? And I met with an adults who have
Speaker 3: been through like ten homes were putting, ten homes who
Speaker 3: were raped to hear this and that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's hard for you to trust, hard for
Speaker 2: you to trust.
Speaker 3: Yeah, come out and trust who? Why why are you
Speaker 3: telling me? You go? Girl? You know. So it's a lot,
Speaker 3: it's a lot, there's a lot to unpack. But just
Speaker 3: trust that there is a way through, There is a
Speaker 3: path through.
Speaker 11: Trust the hope, trust, trust the process. Trust yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 11: and know that what you're experiencing now or what you've
Speaker 11: gone through, that's what happened to you. But that's not you.
Speaker 3: That's not you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's not you.
Speaker 2: So always remember even if no one tells you, know
Speaker 2: who you are. And right now, even if you may
Speaker 2: be feeling you're not enough, you may be feeling just
Speaker 2: out there just from I'm just nothing, I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: But no, that's not you. That's a voice that wants
Speaker 2: you to believe that. And so I like to say
Speaker 2: you silence that voice. You pause that voice, and then
Speaker 2: you use the other voice that says that you are powerful,
Speaker 2: that God created me and he doesn't create junk. You
Speaker 2: know that I am powerful. I believe in me, you know.
Speaker 2: You know. It's like Jesse Jackson says, I am somebody.
Speaker 2: I can do this. And I think it's key that
Speaker 2: you surround yourself with people who will tell you that.
Speaker 3: And repeat it to yourself.
Speaker 2: And yes, yes, and I am.
Speaker 3: Somebody until you believe it. In that mirror, say something yes, yes,
Speaker 3: say something to yourself, say something yes.
Speaker 2: You can wait for people to can No, you can't,
Speaker 2: and sometimes if you do, they may never tell you.
Speaker 2: That's why you have to tell yourself. You stand, get
Speaker 2: a mirror, look simpling that I am somebody. I can
Speaker 2: do this, I can walk through this, I can make it,
Speaker 2: you know, and keep I like it, keep repeating it
Speaker 2: to yourself until you believe it, until you believe it. Right.
Speaker 3: It is a song, write a journal it, do do
Speaker 3: something your life, something for your story matters. We say
Speaker 3: that your voice matters.
Speaker 2: Tell yourself matters. Yeah, yeah, it's one hundred percent. So
Speaker 2: this has been a powerful story. Sharony, please share where
Speaker 2: everyone that's listening can connect with you.
Speaker 3: Well, certainly, I'd love everybody to watch Outraised Voices and
Speaker 3: it's definitely R A I S. E. D. Because people
Speaker 3: say it's it outrage nos outraised raised outside your family
Speaker 3: of origin. You can find me on YouTube info at
Speaker 3: Sharon Lee Williams dot ca A or Outraised Voices. You
Speaker 3: can find me and we'll do maybe I don't know
Speaker 3: if you do links at the end of the show, but.
Speaker 2: We Yeah, the link will be at the end of
Speaker 2: the show. And she's on Instagram, Facebook, Mine, everywhere you
Speaker 2: can reach out to me. I will tell you where
Speaker 2: she is, but the links will also be in there.
Speaker 2: The book is coming out. I'm super excited h to
Speaker 2: read the book and so listen. Yes, yes, and the
Speaker 2: song and the song. So guys, we were so you know,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for joining us today. This has
Speaker 2: been powerful. Don't forget to connect with me. All the
Speaker 2: information is there, and check out my retreat that's coming
Speaker 2: in October in Costa Rica. Yeah. Excited, yeah about that.
Speaker 2: So I can't wait to see you there. What else
Speaker 2: do we have coming up our marriage mentorship also at beginning,
Speaker 2: so connect. Find me on Facebook, Instagram, find me in
Speaker 2: the links. Take care, God, bless you, Thank you Sharon
Speaker 2: Lee again, thank you. Bye bye everyone, blessings, bye bye.
Speaker 1: You have been listening to Living a Life by Design,
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