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<v Speaker 1>This is section twenty nine of The Gilded Age. This

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<v Speaker 1>LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter twenty nine. Philip Sterling was on his way to

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<v Speaker 1>Ilium in the state of Pennsylvania. Ilium was the railway

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<v Speaker 1>station nearest to the tract of wild Land, which mister

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<v Speaker 1>Bolton had commissioned him to examine. On the last day

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<v Speaker 1>of the journey, as the railway train Philip was on

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<v Speaker 1>was leaving a large city, a lady timidly entered the

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<v Speaker 1>drawing room car and hesitatingly took a chair that was

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<v Speaker 1>at the moment unoccupied. Philip saw from the window that

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<v Speaker 1>a gentleman had put her upon the car just as

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<v Speaker 1>it was starting. In a few moments, the conductor entered and,

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<v Speaker 1>without waiting an explanation, said roughly to the lady, nat,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't sit there, that seat's taken. Go into the

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<v Speaker 1>other car. I did not intend to take the seat,

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<v Speaker 1>said the lady, rising. I only say down a moment

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<v Speaker 1>till the conductor should come and give me a seat.

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<v Speaker 1>Ain't any car's full, you'll have to leave, But sir,

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<v Speaker 1>said the lady appealingly. I thought, that can't help what

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<v Speaker 1>you thought. You must go into the other car. The

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<v Speaker 1>train is going very fast. Let me stand here till

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<v Speaker 1>we stop. The lady can have my seat, cried Philip,

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<v Speaker 1>springing up. The conductor turned toward Philip and coolly and

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<v Speaker 1>deliberately surveyed him from head to foot, with contempt in

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<v Speaker 1>every line of his face, turned his back upon him

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<v Speaker 1>without a word, and said to the lady, come, I've

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<v Speaker 1>got no time to talk. You must go now. The lady,

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<v Speaker 1>entirely disconcerted by such rudeness and frightened, moved towards the

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<v Speaker 1>door and opened it and stepped out. The train was

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<v Speaker 1>swinging along at a rapid rate, jarring from side to side.

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<v Speaker 1>The step was a long one between the cars, and

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<v Speaker 1>there was no protecting grating. The lady attempted it, but

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<v Speaker 1>lost her balance in the wind and the motion of

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<v Speaker 1>the car, and fell. She would inevitably have gone down

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<v Speaker 1>under the wheels if Philip, who had swiftly followed her,

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<v Speaker 1>had not caught her arm and drawn her up. He

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<v Speaker 1>then assisted her across, found her a seat, received her

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<v Speaker 1>bewildered thanks, and returned to his car. The conductor was

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<v Speaker 1>still there, taking his tickets and growling something about imposition.

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<v Speaker 1>Philip marched up to him and burst out with you

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<v Speaker 1>are a brute, an infernal brute to treat a woman

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<v Speaker 1>that way. Perhaps you'd like to make a fuss about it,

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<v Speaker 1>sneered the conductor. Philip's reply was a blow, given so

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<v Speaker 1>suddenly and planted so squarely in the conductor's face that

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<v Speaker 1>it sent him reeling over a fat passenger who was

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<v Speaker 1>looking up in mild wonder that anyone should dare to

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<v Speaker 1>dispute with a conductor. And against the side of the car,

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<v Speaker 1>he recovered himself, reached the bell rope. Damn you, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>learn you, stepped to the door and called a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of brakemen, and then, as the speed slackened, roared out,

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<v Speaker 1>get off this train. I shall not get off. I

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<v Speaker 1>have as much right here as you, we'll see, said

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<v Speaker 1>the conductor, advancing with the brakemen. The passengers protested, and

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<v Speaker 1>some of them said to each other, that's too bad,

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<v Speaker 1>as they always do in such cases, but none of

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<v Speaker 1>them offered to take a hand with Philip. The men

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<v Speaker 1>seized him, wrenched him from his seat, dragged him along

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<v Speaker 1>the aisle, tearing his clothes, thrust him from the car,

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<v Speaker 1>and then flung his carpet bag, overcoat and umbrella after him,

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<v Speaker 1>and the train went on. The conductor, red in the

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<v Speaker 1>face and puffing from his exertion, swaggered through the car, muttering, puppy,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll learn him. The passengers, when he had gone were

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<v Speaker 1>loud in their indignation and talked about signing a protest,

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<v Speaker 1>but they did nothing more than talk. The next morning,

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<v Speaker 1>the Hooverville Patriot and Clarion had this item slatually overboard.

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<v Speaker 1>We learn that as the down Noon Express was leaving

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<v Speaker 1>h yesterday, a lady God save the Mark, attempted to

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<v Speaker 1>force herself into the already full palatial car. Conductor Slum,

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<v Speaker 1>who is too old a bird to be caught with chaff,

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<v Speaker 1>courteously informed her that the car was full, and when

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<v Speaker 1>she insisted on remaining, he persuaded her to go into

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<v Speaker 1>the car where she belonged. Thereupon, a young sprig from

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<v Speaker 1>the east blustered like a Shanghai rooster and began to

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<v Speaker 1>sass the conductor with his chin. Music that gentleman delivered

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<v Speaker 1>the young spirant for a muss. One of his elegant

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<v Speaker 1>little left handers, which so astonished him that he began

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<v Speaker 1>to feel for his shooter, whereupon mister Slum gently raised

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<v Speaker 1>the youth, carried him forth, and set him down just

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<v Speaker 1>outside the car to cool off. Whether the young blood

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<v Speaker 1>has yet made his way out of Bascom's Swamp, we

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<v Speaker 1>have not learned. Conductor Slum is one of the most

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<v Speaker 1>gentlemanly and efficient officers on the road, but he ain't

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<v Speaker 1>trifled with not much. We learned that the company have

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<v Speaker 1>put a new engine on the seven o'clock train, and

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<v Speaker 1>newly upholstered the drawing room car throughout. It spares no

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<v Speaker 1>effort for the comfort of the te traveling public. Philip

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<v Speaker 1>had never been before in Bascombe's Swamp, and there was

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<v Speaker 1>nothing inviting in it to detain him. After the train

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<v Speaker 1>got out of the way, he crawled out of the

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<v Speaker 1>briars and the mud and got upon the track. He

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<v Speaker 1>was somewhat bruised, but he was too angry to mind that.

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<v Speaker 1>He plodded along over the ties in a very hot

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<v Speaker 1>condition of mind and body. In the scuffle, his railway

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<v Speaker 1>check had disappeared, and he grimly wondered, as he noticed

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<v Speaker 1>the loss, if the company would permit him to walk

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<v Speaker 1>over their track if they should know he hadn't a ticket.

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<v Speaker 1>Philip had to walk some five miles before he reached

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<v Speaker 1>a little station where he could wait for a train,

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<v Speaker 1>and he had ample time for reflection. At first, he

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<v Speaker 1>was full of vengeance on the company. He would sue it,

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<v Speaker 1>he would make it pay roundly. But then it occurred

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<v Speaker 1>to him that he did not know the name of

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<v Speaker 1>a witness he could summon, and that a personal fight

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<v Speaker 1>against a railway corporation was about the most hopeless in

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<v Speaker 1>the world. He then thought he would seek out that

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<v Speaker 1>conductor lie and wait for him at some station and

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<v Speaker 1>thrash him or get thrashed himself. But as he got cooler,

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<v Speaker 1>that did not seem to him a project worthy of

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<v Speaker 1>a gentleman. Exactly was it possible for a gentleman to

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<v Speaker 1>get even with such a fellow as that conductor on

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<v Speaker 1>the letter's own plane? And when he came to this point,

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<v Speaker 1>he began to ask himself if he had not acted

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<v Speaker 1>very much like a fool. He didn't regret striking the fellow.

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<v Speaker 1>He hoped he had left a mark on him, But

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<v Speaker 1>after all, was that the best way here? Was he?

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<v Speaker 1>Philip Sterling calling himself a gentleman in a brawl with

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<v Speaker 1>a vulgar conductor about a woman he had never seen before.

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<v Speaker 1>Why should he have put himself in such a ridiculous position.

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<v Speaker 1>Wasn't it enough to have offered the lady his seat,

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<v Speaker 1>to have rescued her from an accident, perhaps from death.

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<v Speaker 1>Suppose he had simply said to the conductor, sir, your

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<v Speaker 1>conduct is brutal. I shall report you. The passengers who

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<v Speaker 1>saw the affair might have joined in a report against

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<v Speaker 1>the conductor, and he might really have accomplish something. And

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<v Speaker 1>now Philip looked at his torn clothes and thought with

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<v Speaker 1>disgust of his haste in getting into a fight with

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<v Speaker 1>such an autocrat. At the little station where Philip waited

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<v Speaker 1>for the next train, he met a man who turned

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<v Speaker 1>out to be a justice of the peace in that neighborhood,

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<v Speaker 1>and told him his adventure. He was a kindly sort

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<v Speaker 1>of man and seemed very much interested. Dumm Um said

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<v Speaker 1>he when he had heard the story. Do you think

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<v Speaker 1>anything can be done? Sir? Wow, I guess ain't no use.

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<v Speaker 1>I ain't a mite of doubt of every word you say.

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<v Speaker 1>But suan's no use. The railroad company owns all these

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<v Speaker 1>people along here, and the judges on the bench too

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<v Speaker 1>spiled your clothes, waw least said soonest mended ye ain't

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<v Speaker 1>no chance with the company. When next morning he read

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<v Speaker 1>the humorous account in the Patriot and Clarion, he saw

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<v Speaker 1>still more clearly what chance he would have had before

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<v Speaker 1>the public in a fight with the railroad company. Still,

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<v Speaker 1>Philip's conscience told him that it was his plain duty

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<v Speaker 1>to carry the matter into the courts, even with the

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<v Speaker 1>certainty of defeat. He confessed that neither he nor any

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<v Speaker 1>citizen had a right to consult his own feelings or

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<v Speaker 1>conscience in a case where a law of the land

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<v Speaker 1>had been violated before his own eyes. He confessed that

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<v Speaker 1>every citizen's first duty in such case is to put

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<v Speaker 1>aside his own business and devote his time and his

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<v Speaker 1>best efforts to seeing that the infraction is promptly punished.

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<v Speaker 1>And he knew that no country can be well governed

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<v Speaker 1>unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their

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<v Speaker 1>minds that they are the guardians of the law, and

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<v Speaker 1>that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing more. As a finality, he was obliged to confess

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<v Speaker 1>that he was a bad citizen, and also that the

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<v Speaker 1>general laxity of the time and the absence of a

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<v Speaker 1>sense of duty toward any part of the community but

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<v Speaker 1>the individual himself, were ingrained in him, and he was

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<v Speaker 1>no better than the rest of the people. The result

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<v Speaker 1>of this little adventure was that Philip did not reach

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<v Speaker 1>Ilium till daylight the next morning, when he descended, sleepy

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<v Speaker 1>and sore from away train, and looked about him. Ilium

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<v Speaker 1>was a narrow mountain gorge through which a rapid stream ran.

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<v Speaker 1>It consisted of the plank platform on which he stood,

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<v Speaker 1>a wooden house, half painted with a dirty piazza, unroofed

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<v Speaker 1>in the front, and a sign board hung on a

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<v Speaker 1>slanting pole bearing the legend Hotel P. Dusenheimer, a sawmill

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<v Speaker 1>further down the stream, a blacksmith's shop and a store,

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<v Speaker 1>and three or four unpainted dwellings of the slab variety.

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<v Speaker 1>As Philip approached the hotel, he saw what appeared to

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<v Speaker 1>be a wild beast crouching on the piazza. It did

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<v Speaker 1>not stir, however, and he soon found that it was

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<v Speaker 1>only a stuffed skin. This cheerful invitation to the tavern

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<v Speaker 1>was the remains of a huge, huge panther which had

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<v Speaker 1>been killed in the region a few weeks before. Philip

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<v Speaker 1>examined his ugly visage and strong, crooked forearm as he

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<v Speaker 1>was waiting admittance. Having pounded upon the door, yait a bit,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll shoost put on me trousers, shouted a voice from

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<v Speaker 1>the window, and the door was soon opened by the

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<v Speaker 1>yawning Landlord Morgan. Didn't hear the train on set them boys,

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<v Speaker 1>keeps me up, or so speight come Ridian. Philip was

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<v Speaker 1>shown into a dirty bar room. It was a small

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<v Speaker 1>room with a stove in the middle, set in a long,

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<v Speaker 1>shallow box of sand for the benefit of the spitters.

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<v Speaker 1>A bar crossed one end, a mere counter with a

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<v Speaker 1>sliding glass case behind it, containing a few bottles having

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<v Speaker 1>ambitious labels, and a wash sink in one corner. On

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<v Speaker 1>the walls were the bright yellow and black handbills of

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<v Speaker 1>a traveling circus, with pictures of acrobats in human pyramids,

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<v Speaker 1>horses flying in long leaps through the air, and silp

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<v Speaker 1>flying women in a paradisiac costume balancing themselves upon the

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<v Speaker 1>tips of their toes on the bare backs of frantic

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<v Speaker 1>and plunging steeds and kissing their hands to the spectators. Meanwhile,

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<v Speaker 1>as Philip did not desire a room at that hour,

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<v Speaker 1>he was invited to wash himself at the Nasty sink,

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<v Speaker 1>a feat somewhat easier than drying his face, for the

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<v Speaker 1>towel that hung in a roller over the sink was

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<v Speaker 1>evidently as much a fixture as the sink itself, and

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<v Speaker 1>blond like the suspended brush and comb to the traveling public.

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<v Speaker 1>Philip managed to complete his toilet by the use of

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<v Speaker 1>his pocket handkerchief, and declining the hospitality of the landlord

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<v Speaker 1>implied in the remark you want back naughty, he went

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<v Speaker 1>into the open air to wait for breakfast. The country

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<v Speaker 1>he saw was wild, but not picturesque. The mountain before

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<v Speaker 1>him might be eight hundred feet high, and was only

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<v Speaker 1>a portion of a long, unbroken range, savagely wooded, which

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<v Speaker 1>followed the stream behind the hotel, and across the broad

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<v Speaker 1>fallingbrook was another level topped wooded range, exactly like it.

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<v Speaker 1>Ilium itself, seen at a glance, was old enough to

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<v Speaker 1>be dilapidated, and if it had gained anything by being

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<v Speaker 1>made a wood and water station of the new railroad,

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<v Speaker 1>it was only a new sort of grime and rawness. P. Dusenheimer,

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<v Speaker 1>standing in the door of his uninviting groggery when the

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<v Speaker 1>trains stopped for water, never received from the traveling public

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<v Speaker 1>any patronage except facetious remarks. Upon his personal appearance. Perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>a thousand times. He had heard the remark ilium free,

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<v Speaker 1>followed in most instances by a hail to himself, as

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<v Speaker 1>eneas with the inquiry where is all anchises? At first

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<v Speaker 1>he had replied, dear, ain't no such man, But irritated

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<v Speaker 1>by its senseless repetition, he had latterly dropped into the

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<v Speaker 1>formula of you'll be damn. Philip was recalled from the

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<v Speaker 1>contemplation of Ilium by the rolling and growling of the

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<v Speaker 1>gong within the hotel, the din and clamor increasing till

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<v Speaker 1>the house was apparently unable to contain it when it

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<v Speaker 1>burst out of the front door and informed the world

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<v Speaker 1>the breakfast was on the table. The dining room was long,

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<v Speaker 1>low and narrow, and a narrow table extended its whole length.

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<v Speaker 1>Upon this was spread a cloth which from appearance might

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<v Speaker 1>have been as long in use as the towel in

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<v Speaker 1>the bar room. Upon the table was the usual service,

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<v Speaker 1>the heavy, much nicked stone ware, the row of plaited

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<v Speaker 1>and rusty casters, the sugar bowls with the zinc teaspoons

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<v Speaker 1>sticking up in them, the piles of yellow biscuits, the

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<v Speaker 1>discouraged looking plates of butter. The landlord waited, and Philip

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<v Speaker 1>was pleased to observe the change in his manner in

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<v Speaker 1>the bar room. He was the conciliatory landlord, standing behind

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<v Speaker 1>his guests at table. He had an air of peremptory patronage,

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<v Speaker 1>and the voice in which he shot out the inquiry

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<v Speaker 1>as he seized Philip's plate, beefstack ors liver quite took

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<v Speaker 1>away Philip's power of choice. He begged for a glass

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<v Speaker 1>of milk after trying that green hued compound called coffee,

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<v Speaker 1>and made his breakfast out of that and some hard crackers,

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<v Speaker 1>which seemed to have been imported into Ilium before the

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<v Speaker 1>introduction of the iron Horse, and to have withstood a

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<v Speaker 1>ten years siege of regular Borders, Greeks and others. The

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<v Speaker 1>land that Philip had come to look at was at

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<v Speaker 1>least five miles distant from Ilium station. A corner of

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<v Speaker 1>it touched the railroad, and the rest was pretty much

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<v Speaker 1>an unbroken wilderness eight or ten thousand acres of rough country,

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<v Speaker 1>most of it such a mountain range. As he saw

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<v Speaker 1>at Ilium. His first step was to hire three woodsmen

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<v Speaker 1>to accompany him. By their help, he built a log

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<v Speaker 1>hut and established a camp on the land, and then

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<v Speaker 1>began his explorations, mapping down his survey as he went along,

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<v Speaker 1>noting the timber and the lay of the land, and

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<v Speaker 1>making superficial observations as to the prospect of coal. Lord

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<v Speaker 1>at Ilium endeavored to persuade Philip to hire the services

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<v Speaker 1>of a witch hazel professor of that region, who could

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<v Speaker 1>walk over the land with his wand and tell him

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<v Speaker 1>infallibly whether it contained coal and exactly where the strait

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<v Speaker 1>o ran. But Philip preferred to trust to his own

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<v Speaker 1>study of the country and his knowledge of the geological formation.

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<v Speaker 1>He spent a month in traveling over the land and

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<v Speaker 1>making calculations, and made up his mind that a fine

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<v Speaker 1>vein of coal ran through the mountain about a mile

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<v Speaker 1>from the railroad, and that the place to run in

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<v Speaker 1>a tunnel was half way towards its summit. Acting with

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<v Speaker 1>his usual promptness, Philip, with the consent of mister Bolton

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<v Speaker 1>broke ground there at once, and before snow came, had

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<v Speaker 1>some rude buildings up, and was ready for active operations

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<v Speaker 1>in the spring. It was true that there were no

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<v Speaker 1>outcroppings of coal at the place, and the people at

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<v Speaker 1>Ilium said he more as well dig for plug tobaccer there.

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<v Speaker 1>But Philip had great faith in the uniformity of nature's

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<v Speaker 1>operations in ages past, and he had no doubt that

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<v Speaker 1>he should strike at this spot the rich vein that

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<v Speaker 1>had made the fortune of the Golden Briar Company. End

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<v Speaker 1>of Chapter twenty nine