Speaker 1: The Magnificent Montague stirring Marty Wally. Yes, it's the Magnificent Montague.
Speaker 1: The Saturday Night Transcribe feature on NBC's All Star Festival
Speaker 1: of Comedy, Music, Mystery, and Drama, brought to you by
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Speaker 1: in the world of a theater dotted by the bosses
Speaker 1: and maritals strive. The marriage of Edwin the Magnificent Montague
Speaker 1: and his former leading lady, Lily Boyne twenty five years
Speaker 1: ago is an enviable one, yes, even today, though Edwin's
Speaker 1: mind is racked with guilt for having deserted the stage
Speaker 1: for the more lucrative role is Uncle Goodheart.
Speaker 3: Here of an afternoon.
Speaker 1: Radio program, Lily loves Edwin and Edwin loves Lily. It
Speaker 1: is morning in the Montague apartment. Agnes, the maid is
Speaker 1: up and preparing breakfast. The telephone rings.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, the residents of Edwin, Montague, Lily boy and
Speaker 4: Magnus Anderson. He's asleep, she's getting up. I'm busy. What
Speaker 4: do you want.
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 4: She's just getting up like I said. Okay, So all
Speaker 4: morning telephone. Well, I better get breakfast ready before the monster,
Speaker 4: I mean the master gets up.
Speaker 6: The truly, truly.
Speaker 4: Fair he gets in my hair. Oh, good morning, honey.
Speaker 7: Good morning address. Who is out on the phone.
Speaker 4: Celi, your tailor? Your friends have been calling all morning?
Speaker 4: What is it, honey? They catch are fixing a comaster game.
Speaker 7: I guess it's just a juicy piece of gossip about somebody.
Speaker 4: You know, the girl girl, she said, you mean the
Speaker 4: Flora Dora girl. I'd hate to own the corn field.
Speaker 4: Those crows were headed for.
Speaker 7: They're old friends of mine. We were on the stage
Speaker 7: together before.
Speaker 4: I'm not a deadward there still on the stage, the
Speaker 4: last stage. They're all sniping at you.
Speaker 7: They're just a little jealous of me because I have
Speaker 7: a happy marriage.
Speaker 4: Maybe each had four happy marriages. Don't exaggerate, exaggerate. Look
Speaker 4: at that Ceia Taylor? And what about that Gloria Gable?
Speaker 4: What a record six husbands in three years? Didn't that
Speaker 4: time to take up her wedding gown?
Speaker 7: Was it six? I think you're right.
Speaker 4: Shirt was sick. She has a charge account of the
Speaker 4: marriage bureau.
Speaker 7: Try and understand the magnus. They're just chasing rainbows. Looking
Speaker 7: for the pot of gold.
Speaker 4: You chase manager and just wound up with a past.
Speaker 1: Ah.
Speaker 7: They all envy me Aglas twenty five years with Edwin. Oh,
Speaker 7: never mind, Aggres, I'll get the phone.
Speaker 4: Must be one of the hags.
Speaker 7: Hello, Gloria, I'm fine, what no, no, I have Redwinstel's
Speaker 7: call Umn yet? Why what would they say about Edwin? Gloria?
Speaker 7: Would you please stop snickering and tell me.
Speaker 3: Very well?
Speaker 7: I'll find out myself. Here's the paper.
Speaker 4: Wait, here's Winchell's column.
Speaker 7: Does it mentioned Edwin's name? I mean, look here, what's
Speaker 7: it say?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 7: Huh, well, what is it?
Speaker 4: Listen to this the raised eyebrow Department. Friends of the
Speaker 4: Eddie monaghers hope the message doesn't find out he made
Speaker 4: a fool of himself last night with what copa cabanacutie?
Speaker 7: Agnes Eddie morted you that can't be Edward.
Speaker 4: Well, if it is some copa gabana Cutie's gone clean
Speaker 4: out of her mind.
Speaker 7: Oh Edwin in a night club with a chorus what else?
Speaker 4: Thank You're beauty?
Speaker 8: And the beast.
Speaker 7: Edwin was homeless, like.
Speaker 4: He's done every night in the last twenty five years.
Speaker 7: Of all things to say about Edward.
Speaker 4: Don't last, honey, he's at that awkward age, too old
Speaker 4: for yo yos and too young for social security.
Speaker 2: Can you you.
Speaker 7: Picture Edward at the Copacabana, carrying.
Speaker 4: On carrying on one rumber they carry him out.
Speaker 7: We better find out who this Eddy mooregue is.
Speaker 8: There?
Speaker 4: It is the voice the firestone.
Speaker 7: Let me break it.
Speaker 3: To good morning darling.
Speaker 2: What's the joke that'd be funny?
Speaker 3: Good morning? I did. What's happening here is like waking
Speaker 3: up in the middle of a Milton Bill Stu the audience.
Speaker 2: That's what's so funny.
Speaker 7: Stop laughing.
Speaker 4: Better be for my girdle, sad snap and.
Speaker 7: All his coffee evans.
Speaker 5: Sit down, Let me in on it.
Speaker 3: What he is so funny?
Speaker 7: Winch's column?
Speaker 3: So is my name mentioned?
Speaker 9: Read it?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah? Anybody?
Speaker 9: You may you pullse with what co when his wife
Speaker 9: finds a Bedwin Montague.
Speaker 7: But it's a different Montague.
Speaker 3: But the world will.
Speaker 7: Wait when stop being ridiculous. No one who knows you
Speaker 7: will ever believe you're running around with a chorus girl.
Speaker 5: And why not, well, because.
Speaker 3: Well where.
Speaker 4: Let's face it, pal at your age.
Speaker 9: All right, A man's just for that you're not getting
Speaker 9: Memorial Day off. Your old Civil War regiment will march
Speaker 9: without you.
Speaker 4: Oh, button, you're.
Speaker 7: Dead when it is childish. I wouldn't have stayed married
Speaker 7: to you twenty five years if I didn't still think
Speaker 7: you were the most attractive and charming man in the wood.
Speaker 4: Reallyly, oh sure you're the last of the red hot poppers.
Speaker 9: All right, all right, now, let's have breakfast, Lily, me
Speaker 9: and a.
Speaker 3: I' let's put it in my scrap book.
Speaker 7: Oh I missed the door.
Speaker 4: I'll get it, missus. Blame honey, it's your mother.
Speaker 1: Mother, Lily, my babby.
Speaker 10: I'm taking you right home to Cleave.
Speaker 7: But I flew you the Minuti red Winter with column.
Speaker 7: How can you stay in the same house with this route?
Speaker 3: And now, Missy come near me?
Speaker 7: It's disgusting, will you, Lily my? Who betrayed baby? I
Speaker 7: told you about actors. I knew it wouldn't last.
Speaker 3: We've been married twenty five years. What is that one
Speaker 3: night in an court?
Speaker 7: Whyet you, old wolf mother?
Speaker 4: Lily?
Speaker 7: I told you about men like him.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is ridiculous, ridiculous?
Speaker 10: Is it ridiculous for a mother to try and save
Speaker 10: her babies from an old reprobate who spends every night
Speaker 10: and sea easies when colors go move, Lily, I'm taking
Speaker 10: you home.
Speaker 7: Your old room is ready. Uncle Charlie picked your dollhouse.
Speaker 9: Oh goody goody, that's all placed in the bottle, Edwin, Lily,
Speaker 9: I refused me to.
Speaker 2: He's like a dazz mad Romeo out.
Speaker 7: Of a too slimy she Thank Heaven's I got your time.
Speaker 9: Mother.
Speaker 7: Edwin and I have been married for twenty five years.
Speaker 7: We'll have it and old.
Speaker 3: An old? What are you going to tell them? We're
Speaker 3: under ad.
Speaker 7: Now now, Edwin, let me explain it to her.
Speaker 2: Mother.
Speaker 7: Edwin and I are one of the happiest couples in
Speaker 7: New York. He's even touched you, to lie h to
Speaker 7: think of? That's for the feast you broke your engagement
Speaker 7: to Tarlie Hoskin. Mother will in this jelly. I warned
Speaker 7: you about the big city. I knew no good whatever comedy.
Speaker 7: We're happy your father hated, don't mother?
Speaker 9: Mean? Wow?
Speaker 5: Who is Charlie Hoskin.
Speaker 7: A timer man than you'll ever be? Mister Edwin Montague
Speaker 7: a respectable man.
Speaker 10: Lily was engaged to it till you who came along
Speaker 10: with your sneaky ways and let her down.
Speaker 3: The road to ruin.
Speaker 9: Now, really, mother, Lily, how can you never told me
Speaker 9: about Charlie Husky Edwin.
Speaker 7: He's a boy I grew up with, owns his own
Speaker 7: dry goods. Or now, oh, Lily, to take you through
Speaker 7: all that away? Other stop Edwin, it's.
Speaker 2: Unimportant, Cleane. You have told me about this Charlie dry goods.
Speaker 7: Now Edwin, don't start.
Speaker 10: I'll tell you about Charlie Huskins. He's a decent, hard
Speaker 10: working businessman, but he must sound dull you, mister sugar daddy.
Speaker 10: His name is never in the gossip column linked with Collins.
Speaker 3: Girl, Will you shut up.
Speaker 8: Now?
Speaker 7: Dare you speak to my mother like that?
Speaker 3: Just come here?
Speaker 7: Don't shout at us.
Speaker 2: Think I flew.
Speaker 9: Here all the way from Cleve Well, get on your
Speaker 9: broom and fly back.
Speaker 7: Edwin. I'm ashamed of you, Lily.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 7: And when you apologize to my mother.
Speaker 3: Lily, come home.
Speaker 7: He's a month even, don't you dare? I'm hold a
Speaker 7: seat fire, horrible mother?
Speaker 9: Oh what is it the time.
Speaker 4: I'll be late for his broadcast?
Speaker 3: Broadcast?
Speaker 2: Never mind what broadcast? I thought?
Speaker 10: The loafer worked as a Shakespearean actor who never worked.
Speaker 7: Mother, he has a program ed when you may be
Speaker 7: ashamed of it, but my mother has a right to
Speaker 7: know what you're doing. There's your big bum. What's he
Speaker 7: up to now? He's uncle good, hard uncle good mother,
Speaker 7: and this a glass of ward. I listened to him
Speaker 7: every day, mother.
Speaker 10: Oh, Lily, he's such a fine sweet kyle.
Speaker 7: Yes, mother, you just saw how sweet and kind he
Speaker 7: can be.
Speaker 2: I didn't know.
Speaker 3: Don't talk to me.
Speaker 7: What you doing to this man?
Speaker 10: He's your husband, mother, Wait till I get till I
Speaker 10: tell Cleveland, my son in law's uncle.
Speaker 7: Good heart.
Speaker 11: Don't you dare spread it around?
Speaker 7: And when I'm waiting, you and apologize to my mother, Slelly,
Speaker 7: he didn't mean it. You always did have a nasty temper, Lily. Father,
Speaker 7: you never would let me teach you to cook.
Speaker 10: No wonder the poor man was driven to these nightclubs.
Speaker 7: He was hungry.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, Lily and I are happy, Edwin.
Speaker 7: Will you explain it to us?
Speaker 3: Why should I have I'm doing great, mother.
Speaker 7: We've been trying to tell you. Edwin and I are
Speaker 7: perfectly happy. It was a different Eddie Montague who was
Speaker 7: mentioned in the columns. Babe, I knew that all the time?
Speaker 7: Who could Sis said, dear old uncle good heart.
Speaker 3: I gotta get in the station.
Speaker 2: I won't be a good heart broadcast today.
Speaker 1: Uncle, Yeah, look at the time, I'll be late. We'll
Speaker 1: be back with a magnificent Montague in just a moment.
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Speaker 1: now back to the magnificent Montagule. He is just finishing
Speaker 1: his Uncle good Heart program.
Speaker 9: Listen, sorold once again, you can hold your head high.
Speaker 5: He followed in hend, Hello, there was.
Speaker 3: Another epic from coast to coast.
Speaker 2: Ah, here's the great director, missus Inza.
Speaker 8: That was another humdinger of a program. Mister Montague.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 8: In the sew your name in Winchell's columns. All eyes
Speaker 8: in THEI a copa cutie has she got a friend.
Speaker 3: All the would you stop? It wasn't me?
Speaker 8: You can tell me, mister Montague. I'm one of the boys.
Speaker 8: I'll keep it under my hat.
Speaker 3: Well, if you do, keep it under your head of me.
Speaker 2: The first time there was editing under there.
Speaker 3: I'll be quiet when I read it.
Speaker 8: This morning, I said to my wife, there's still life
Speaker 8: in the old dog. What I said?
Speaker 9: The little interest to me? What you chatted to you
Speaker 9: or me? As you shared a coconut at that tree
Speaker 9: top this morning?
Speaker 8: Oh no, we had pancakes. Wait, I almost forgot. Mister
Speaker 8: Springer has a message for you from the sponsor. The
Speaker 8: sponsor here comes mister Springer.
Speaker 11: Hello, mister Montague, I just saw the sponsor you did.
Speaker 3: I didn't know it was visiting our mister Monticule. He
Speaker 3: saw this item that appeared in the newspaper. Now, missus Springer,
Speaker 3: shill up, Monaca.
Speaker 11: We don't want to dictate your private life, but we
Speaker 11: can't have stuff like this coming.
Speaker 3: Out in the paper. Your uncle, good heart. Remember you
Speaker 3: don't have to remind me you're.
Speaker 11: The kindly old philosopher and don't look good to have
Speaker 11: your boozing around with dames.
Speaker 3: Getting stink on a hot anybody get referred to by
Speaker 3: mister Winchell is not me? Oh Winchell, lineup? Oh I
Speaker 3: know that wasn't you.
Speaker 11: That's Eddie Montague, who sings with hot lips Loopo's orchestra.
Speaker 3: And what are you talking about?
Speaker 11: Oh here, why you're mentioned in Earl Wilson's cop Wilson,
Speaker 11: you mean you didn't read this Broadway nightlifers are still
Speaker 11: laughing at the romantic antics of the famous Shakespearean actor
Speaker 11: and that.
Speaker 2: Beautiful honker stuff cuddles.
Speaker 11: McCune Montague Montague act your ade, that's what it says, Hi.
Speaker 3: Cuddles McCune. I don't know how you do it.
Speaker 2: I think I'm.
Speaker 5: Gonna grow a beard.
Speaker 3: Pallas and spring eye. It's another mistake. I demand retraction.
Speaker 11: Mistake famous Shakespearean actor Montague, Montague actual ade.
Speaker 3: It's all there, Cuddles McCune. I never heard of her.
Speaker 8: She's a burlesque dancer.
Speaker 6: Dancer.
Speaker 3: I say.
Speaker 8: You got a burlessed chalk man hasn't made of wood.
Speaker 3: Cuddles McCune.
Speaker 2: I have to get home before Lily sees ruse caper.
Speaker 3: Where's my.
Speaker 7: Oh? Mother, mother, please let me think, Lily. There's nothing
Speaker 7: to think about. You read Earl Wilson's column. Now, Harry,
Speaker 7: we can still catch that plane in Cleveland. Oh now, mother,
Speaker 7: I'm sure Edwin will have some explanation that.
Speaker 4: I don't want to miss.
Speaker 7: Now, listen to both of you. I trust Edwin, and
Speaker 7: I assure you. Edwin never heard of this.
Speaker 4: Cuddles Here he comes, Hello.
Speaker 3: Edwin, Hello, cuddles.
Speaker 2: I mean, hell, Lily, ohn't not Lily.
Speaker 5: I'm inner though, Get away.
Speaker 4: From her, you vulture, Yeah, yellow light go back here,
Speaker 4: bros Queen.
Speaker 3: They believe me.
Speaker 9: I never heard of cuddles. I never saw It's all
Speaker 9: a horrible mistake. As the telephone.
Speaker 4: Hello, This is what's left of the residence of Edwin
Speaker 4: Montague and Lilli Boi.
Speaker 7: Who, no, kidd when did you.
Speaker 4: Get into the country as soon as you read Winchell?
Speaker 4: Oh sure, I'll here, come right up now for the fireworks.
Speaker 4: Who was that your father?
Speaker 3: Oh no, that's all I need. Let me out of here.
Speaker 7: When you're afraid to face your father.
Speaker 3: He'll only make it worse. You know him. He gets
Speaker 3: fat on trouble. Believe before he comes. Please believe me.
Speaker 7: Lily, don't go near him.
Speaker 4: I'll get it.
Speaker 7: Well, mister Montague.
Speaker 9: My little dove, come here, you lovely ways give me
Speaker 9: a kid. Lily, my dear, dry those cheers. I can't
Speaker 9: stand seeing a beautiful, luscious woman like you. Cry Hello
Speaker 9: Dan Wait wait, who is this vision of loveliness? This
Speaker 9: a July see before me, Lily, It can't be Yes,
Speaker 9: it's my mother, missus Bohm.
Speaker 7: Keep your distance, said on Martigall. Mother, really you haven't
Speaker 7: seen him since our wedding.
Speaker 6: That was enough.
Speaker 10: Any man who in the middle of his own son's
Speaker 10: wedding will reach over and deliberately pinch the bribes.
Speaker 3: Mother, Lily looks like your daughter, And now where is he?
Speaker 6: Hello?
Speaker 9: Follow Sonny, what are you doing to your marriage? Copacabanacuties.
Speaker 9: Shame on you, the boy of your age.
Speaker 1: Dad.
Speaker 3: It's not true, mad, it is not true.
Speaker 9: Edwin gon blow your nose. You just when it looked
Speaker 9: so human, liter on a good match, you have ruin
Speaker 9: hooting around with Cocoagaban Acu sad.
Speaker 7: That article you read winter was another montgue.
Speaker 3: I knew it, and I had faith in my boy.
Speaker 7: What about cuddles?
Speaker 9: Cuddles?
Speaker 5: Who's cuddle a burless dancer?
Speaker 3: My son?
Speaker 9: A Montague with a bullet. Yes, I'm all right now please,
Speaker 9: I want to talk to my boy. Come mother, Edwin,
Speaker 9: sit down, father, let me explain, Edwin.
Speaker 2: It's not your fault.
Speaker 3: It's my fault. Y'r poh.
Speaker 9: Yes, it was my duty to tell you about these
Speaker 9: things long ago. I kept putting it off.
Speaker 3: Oh father, what are you talking about?
Speaker 9: Edwin?
Speaker 3: Pay attention.
Speaker 9: Now, let's begin from the beginning. There are the birds
Speaker 9: and the bees, and there the flower.
Speaker 3: I'm not back byet.
Speaker 5: You have to be told these things sometimes.
Speaker 3: What are you trying to tell me?
Speaker 2: Son?
Speaker 9: There are painted women lurking to snare young innocent boys
Speaker 9: like you.
Speaker 3: Now about this blest dance? Father, I swear I never
Speaker 3: met this Cuddles. I don't know.
Speaker 5: I never had anything to do with her or any girl.
Speaker 3: Sonny.
Speaker 9: So are you telling Daddy the truth? Yes, I'm ashamed
Speaker 9: of you. Say you're no son of mine.
Speaker 3: Gad.
Speaker 9: When I first read that item you and a corpora cutie,
Speaker 9: I thought, at last, he's a Montague. He got Edwin
Speaker 9: when I was your age. I the Montague spirit just
Speaker 9: never reached you. Lila Paula, help me convinced Lia, Daddy
Speaker 9: will fix it. Dad with a stupid kid.
Speaker 7: What is your dad? Defeat confessed?
Speaker 3: What about Cuddles, Lilay, I've just had a long talk
Speaker 3: with Edwin. He knows nothing about her. In fact, this
Speaker 3: boy here knows nothing about anything. Fala, Why speak only
Speaker 3: when you're spoken to? Lily? Don't encourage him delay?
Speaker 9: How could you have ever doubted his pudding faced offspring
Speaker 9: of mind? Allison Paula tells Bala, you are either the
Speaker 9: most portunate or most unfortunate of women in this spiritless
Speaker 9: health that I have tried to mold into an accar
Speaker 9: that burns but one flame, And that flame, Lily, is
Speaker 9: for you.
Speaker 2: Oh Edwin, I've been you doern'tly have been, Lily where.
Speaker 3: You are in your mind?
Speaker 2: Shame on you, lily.
Speaker 5: But mother, did you hear what his father said?
Speaker 7: Burns but one flame? You're a lucky girl to have
Speaker 7: the son of such.
Speaker 9: A father, My dear missus, bohem, I haven't been through
Speaker 9: Cleveland in many a year. I had quite forgotten that
Speaker 9: his greatest job was the loveliness and beauty of his women.
Speaker 3: Demanded you now, father, don't start go on there?
Speaker 9: What is it?
Speaker 2: What is it that Shakespeare said about beauty?
Speaker 3: But I always say about my lily.
Speaker 9: Her beauty makes this vault a feasting presents all of life.
Speaker 2: The beauty makes it fold.
Speaker 3: If you see present, full of life. It's nine o'clock
Speaker 3: on a bed. Good night, come in, ah, this is
Speaker 3: the day I shall not long for gaps. Oh good night,
Speaker 3: my dear missus for him.
Speaker 9: Now that the children are asleep, May I show you.
Speaker 7: A bit of New York that should we leave the
Speaker 7: children alone?
Speaker 9: Agnews is with them? A little nightlight, perhaps a few
Speaker 9: memories to take back to Cleveland.
Speaker 7: Well I shouldn't, but may I'll get my car.
Speaker 9: We're going to Maxine's where all the girls are dream.
Speaker 3: Hello is this the.
Speaker 9: Love you and Rhodes apartment give me apartment six or two?
Speaker 9: Please Hello, cuddle Poopsy. I'm busy tonight business right, Yes, yes,
Speaker 9: I saw it. We got in Earl Wilson's column.
Speaker 5: Tomorrow maybe good night, my jobs, we're going to.
Speaker 3: My dear May I take your arm?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
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Speaker 1: Friends to The Magnificent Montague starring Mati Wally, the Saturday
Speaker 1: Night transcribed feature on NBC's All Star Festival of Comedy, Music, Mystery,
Speaker 1: and Drama, brought to you by Anison for fast relief
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Speaker 1: The Magnificent Montague was created and directed by net Hiking
Speaker 1: and written by net Hiking and Billy Friedberg, and Seymour
Speaker 1: was Lily Pert Calton was Agnes. Also heard on tonight's
Speaker 1: broadcast were Art Connie, Johnny Gibson, John Griggs, and Barbara Weeks.
Speaker 1: Jack Ward was at the organ. This is Don Pardo speaking.
Speaker 2: Stay tuned for the best in popular music.
Speaker 1: It's the musical Merry Go Round on NBC
Speaker 9: K FI, Los Angeles,