Speaker 1: This one's about the distortion of memory itself. It's like
Speaker 1: when you look at an old photo and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was so much happier back then. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Transformation Station Podcast. I'm Christina, owner, operator, and founder of
Speaker 1: the Transformation Station, and this is where we talk about
Speaker 1: getting stronger while navigating real life. If you're trying to
Speaker 1: stay consistent through the ups and the downs and everywhere
Speaker 1: else in between. This is for you. I want you
Speaker 1: to think of a picture of yourself from a few
Speaker 1: years ago, one that's like when you look at it
Speaker 1: and you're like, damn, I looked good, or like, hey,
Speaker 1: I miss that version of me. Everybody has some type
Speaker 1: of a picture that draws us in like that. And
Speaker 1: something I've been thinking about a lot lately is like,
Speaker 1: is that actually the truth? Because to me, it's just
Speaker 1: a photo and it's not sometimes about like how we looked,
Speaker 1: but it's more about how we felt knowing where we
Speaker 1: were when that photo was taken, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: And I think about this quite a bit when my
Speaker 1: old photos circulate, as many of you do know, and
Speaker 1: if you don't know, a few years ago, I was
Speaker 1: training for RCMP and I really really really wanted to
Speaker 1: pursue police training and a police career. And when I
Speaker 1: lock into something like I lock into it like super hard.
Speaker 1: I eat the same meals every day. I have no
Speaker 1: problem doing the exact same routine. I thrive on routine.
Speaker 1: When things are thrown into my routine, I've learned how
Speaker 1: to pivot and to not hold onto the routine so tightly,
Speaker 1: because back then, like there was no deviation, like there
Speaker 1: was nothing from that set plan of attack. And when
Speaker 1: I look back at that season, like, I think, the
Speaker 1: thing that I'm I'm thinking of when I see it
Speaker 1: is that it was just so genuinely simple. Like during
Speaker 1: that time, I was single. I didn't have a spouse
Speaker 1: that worked ten twelve hour shifts and holds down the
Speaker 1: fort with like two three jobs. I didn't have dogs
Speaker 1: who depended on me. I didn't have a gym full
Speaker 1: of members who were counting on me to show up
Speaker 1: for them every single day. I had a normal job
Speaker 1: back then. Just for a hot second, that was it,
Speaker 1: and that to me was everything was me, my training,
Speaker 1: my food, and my sleep. And I had a cat,
Speaker 1: which I still have that cat. I've had that gut
Speaker 1: over a very a long time. Her name is Kitty.
Speaker 1: We don't talk about Kitty too often because she's she's
Speaker 1: a gat she's pretty self sufficient in that context. So
Speaker 1: every so often pictures from when I was doing my training,
Speaker 1: it pops up on my phone, it pops up in
Speaker 1: my memories. I've deleted like a whole bunch of them
Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, I don't love that. I don't
Speaker 1: love how that makes me feel, because I don't really
Speaker 1: love to reflect on the past like that. But in this,
Speaker 1: in this stance right now, like even to look back
Speaker 1: and to see, okay, what is it about that, Like
Speaker 1: this little voice in my head when I see those pictures,
Speaker 1: it goes, wow, look how easy it was. Look how
Speaker 1: dialed in you were, Like you need to go back
Speaker 1: to that. And then I'm like, ooh, yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: I should be. But that voice that I'm listening to
Speaker 1: is actually leaving out like a lot of true stuff,
Speaker 1: Like it's leaving out the fact that back then I
Speaker 1: was very lonely and I didn't have that relationship that
Speaker 1: i'd love to be and like I do now, I
Speaker 1: didn't have a business that I was so incredibly proud
Speaker 1: of back then, again, like I do now, like I
Speaker 1: get to I get to show up for people and
Speaker 1: I get to help them every single day. I didn't
Speaker 1: have that back then. Like I took a huge training
Speaker 1: hiatus and I've rebuilt something from scratch that I would
Speaker 1: never trade to go back to that. Like I think
Speaker 1: in my brain like looking back and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it was just so simple. I think when we look
Speaker 1: back on those pictures, we can confuse and mix up
Speaker 1: the two things, which are simple and happy, because simple
Speaker 1: and happy don't necessarily mean the exact same thing, Like
Speaker 1: they're not the same word at all, even though like
Speaker 1: my brain loves to swap one for the other as
Speaker 1: soon as I'm like, oh, look at oh right, I
Speaker 1: was happy back then. No, I'm much happier now, but
Speaker 1: life was I'm not gonna say, but let me say
Speaker 1: life may have been simpler back then, and I'm happier now.
Speaker 1: I think that's how I meant to originally say it.
Speaker 1: There is no butt, it's not oh I'm happy now,
Speaker 1: but it was simpler. No, I'm happier now, and I
Speaker 1: can recognize that life was a lot simpler back then
Speaker 1: because I didn't have so much weight on my shoulders
Speaker 1: and you might be thinking of that too. Like I
Speaker 1: know there's been a lot of conversations around the gym
Speaker 1: about people that have had kids and they actually regret
Speaker 1: having kids, and I don't think that that makes them
Speaker 1: a bad person. I also do believe that we can
Speaker 1: do that with all different things and areas in life.
Speaker 1: We can look back and be like, oh, look how
Speaker 1: happy I was then, But it's like, were you actually
Speaker 1: as happy then as you are now? If the answer
Speaker 1: is yeah, then maybe we want to tweak some stuff there, right,
Speaker 1: But if we're like, no, no, I wasn't. I didn't
Speaker 1: have these things that I'm so proud and happy about now,
Speaker 1: But we can say, hey, that was just a lot
Speaker 1: more simple. Life is more simple when you only have
Speaker 1: to worry about yourself. Life is more simple when you
Speaker 1: can work for somebody else and it's a nine to five,
Speaker 1: You clock in, you clock out, and you don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about building anything. You get paid at the
Speaker 1: end of the day. That I can recognize as a
Speaker 1: lot more simple than running and owning business. Not that
Speaker 1: one is better than the other, but they're going to
Speaker 1: be very different. I just finished ros record of employments,
Speaker 1: and if you've ever had to submit those of the government.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh my gosh, my brain is just broken.
Speaker 1: That's actually why I'm recording this podcast right now because
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, I just need a break
Speaker 1: from all of this, all of the number stuff. I
Speaker 1: like the talking stuff. I don't love the number stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm actually I went in this morning to the Transformation
Speaker 1: station for a workout and it was so nice to
Speaker 1: go in and workout in the morning. Morning workouts are
Speaker 1: my absolute favorite. And I have the opportunity to coach
Speaker 1: in the evenings for the last for not the last
Speaker 1: for the next couple weeks because we have coaches that
Speaker 1: are away. So we've just adjusted some of our coaching
Speaker 1: training schedule for our I'm gonna say staff at the
Speaker 1: Transformation station, for our coaches, for our instructors, just to
Speaker 1: make things work. And I am so looking forward to
Speaker 1: going into coach tonight because I'm like, this computer stuff
Speaker 1: is my brain feels like it's like ten feet wide
Speaker 1: from all the numbers in the processing and all of
Speaker 1: those things. So like that to me is a little
Speaker 1: bit more challenging now that I'm doing these things, but
Speaker 1: I love it, like I'm proud of it, and that's
Speaker 1: why I am doing it. I always tell myself, like Christina,
Speaker 1: you're not a treat. If you're not happy, then move,
Speaker 1: And that's something I've practiced for I'm going to say
Speaker 1: the last fifteen years or so, I've known to uproot
Speaker 1: my entire life and pivot. This is the first time
Speaker 1: I'm actually like, huh, I love this chaos. I'm secure
Speaker 1: in this chaos and also might create more chaos tomorrow.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I actually enjoy this because otherwise it
Speaker 1: would be stagnant, and I don't love to be stagnant anyway.
Speaker 1: So all these things, like, I think this happens to
Speaker 1: a lot of people, and I don't think it's just
Speaker 1: with pictures. I think it has to do with like
Speaker 1: different like old chapters of your life, like totally moving
Speaker 1: my hand like this, like in general, like overseeing our lives,
Speaker 1: like we can look back and be like, oh, look
Speaker 1: at this old chapter. I don't think people are actually
Speaker 1: missing who they were. I think that they're comparing like
Speaker 1: their old chapter or their their one photo to their
Speaker 1: entire life as they know it right now. Like in
Speaker 1: their current life, a picture it literally is like oh
Speaker 1: look at oh sweet, but it doesn't tell you like
Speaker 1: that was a boring Tuesday, that was maybe a fight
Speaker 1: that you had. Maybe in that time, there might have
Speaker 1: been a bill that you were stressed out about. But
Speaker 1: your life right now, like you're living all of it
Speaker 1: in real time, including all of the chaos and the mess.
Speaker 1: Back then you're seeing a picture and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: look at this, but what happened in that twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: Like the picture doesn't capture that. It just shows what
Speaker 1: your body look like. And if you knew that, you
Speaker 1: felt good in those clothes for the most part. So
Speaker 1: like the old photo, of course it's going to look better,
Speaker 1: it's going to look more polish, it's gonna look cleaner,
Speaker 1: because like when you take a picture, like the snapshot
Speaker 1: how I talked about, when you take a picture, it
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily capture all of those things unless you're like
Speaker 1: taking a picture of yourself crying, and that's a whole
Speaker 1: nother ballgame, and I don't love that, but some people
Speaker 1: do that, and that's what it is because maybe you
Speaker 1: want to remember those sad parts. I don't know. Usually
Speaker 1: when people take pictures, they're just taking a picture of
Speaker 1: like this is how I felt really good so I
Speaker 1: wanted to take a picture of it. So that's something
Speaker 1: that I'm keeping in my brain bank. It's like when
Speaker 1: you see those pictures or when you hear those stories,
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, was I actually? So I'd like to
Speaker 1: ask myself questions when I do things. Oh, on a
Speaker 1: side quest, there's this thing, and it's like, don't just
Speaker 1: put it down, put it away. So I've had that
Speaker 1: living in my brain bank for like the last I'm
Speaker 1: going to say, three weeks, and it's changed the way
Speaker 1: I put my stuff away when I'm done. And I'm
Speaker 1: still working on that at the transformation stage. And I
Speaker 1: know sometimes I'm in a hurry booking it out there,
Speaker 1: and I just last minute decided to use a drill
Speaker 1: to try to do something that didn't really pan out
Speaker 1: because I only had five minutes and it should have
Speaker 1: been like a three hour job. But yes, I'm telling myself, like, okay,
Speaker 1: when I do much better in my home life for
Speaker 1: this instead of putting it down, let's put it away.
Speaker 1: So that's something another thing in my brain bank that
Speaker 1: when I see those things, it's like, Okay, was I
Speaker 1: Was I happier or was it just simpler? Those two
Speaker 1: things are not the exact same thing. Happy and simple
Speaker 1: are not the exact same things. We're missing. We're missing
Speaker 1: the point of that happiness when we mix those things up,
Speaker 1: and then we end up chasing a version of our
Speaker 1: life that didn't even feel good, Like we don't remember
Speaker 1: the way it actually felt. So if there's a version
Speaker 1: of you that you keep romanticizing and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: look at this is how it used to be. I dated, Okay,
Speaker 1: so I dated this guy once. Okay, I dated two
Speaker 1: guys once a long, long, long, long time ago. But
Speaker 1: this guy that I dated, he was like I was
Speaker 1: very young and he was eleven years older than me,
Speaker 1: and he always romanticized his ex football career and like
Speaker 1: he kept so many things like this was almost like
Speaker 1: a forty year old man, and he still was obsessed
Speaker 1: with his high school life because who he was in
Speaker 1: high school? What does hair look like in high school?
Speaker 1: Like I think that's why we ended up dating, because
Speaker 1: I was young, not in high school by any means,
Speaker 1: not too far out of it though it was a
Speaker 1: long time ago, like I said, but like I see
Speaker 1: those things, it's like, what is it about you that
Speaker 1: you are so held onto? Like was it the freedom,
Speaker 1: was it your focus? Was it the way your body felt? Like,
Speaker 1: name that actual thing when that happens to you, Because
Speaker 1: I look at that for myself too, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: why why am I looking at that? Like, to me,
Speaker 1: it's the routine. I loved having that routine. I thrive
Speaker 1: in that waking up at a certain time these this
Speaker 1: is exactly what I do when my feet hit the ground.
Speaker 1: I like knowing what I'm supposed to be coaching at
Speaker 1: a specific time because then I can actually like I
Speaker 1: can plan and I can plan my food, I can
Speaker 1: plan when my workouts are. When when things get get
Speaker 1: thrown at you every single day, like you never know
Speaker 1: when you have to change your schedule again. Like usually
Speaker 1: I coach mornings and I trickle in the evenings and
Speaker 1: I do what I need to do around the gym.
Speaker 1: I still like to say hi to everybody, but I'm
Speaker 1: not used to coaching in the evenings all the time.
Speaker 1: So it's like, Okay, this week, how am I going
Speaker 1: to adjust my sales? And sometimes it's the weekends or
Speaker 1: sometimes things happen right, So it's like I can genuinely
Speaker 1: look back and say I miss having that set in
Speaker 1: stone routine because I didn't have so many people, places
Speaker 1: and things depending on my shoulders in saying that the people,
Speaker 1: places and things, that's actually what brings me the most happiness. So,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna figure out my shit, and
Speaker 1: thankfully I've been pretty good with letting go of the
Speaker 1: reins to say, like Christina, every day doesn't have to
Speaker 1: look the exact same. It can be different. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be you eat the specific same food at
Speaker 1: the exact same time every single day, and if a
Speaker 1: stick gets thrown in the mud, you're not like having
Speaker 1: a mental breakdown because you have to eat your lunch
Speaker 1: at two pm instead of twelve thirty. So it's to me,
Speaker 1: it's having those plans of attack. When you look at
Speaker 1: those photos and you see how you felt, what is
Speaker 1: it that you can do right now to feel your
Speaker 1: own happiness and acknowledge what it is that you're doing
Speaker 1: right now, Like you don't have to go and give
Speaker 1: up everything in your life right now to go back
Speaker 1: to go back to where you were, Like, you don't
Speaker 1: have to go back to go get that. I'm not
Speaker 1: the girl that trained for the RCMP anymore. I did
Speaker 1: notice that Barry Police is hiring a special constable. I
Speaker 1: will tell you that as casual, I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm doing with that. I shouldn't even said that out loud.
Speaker 1: I am obsessed with the transformation station and this is
Speaker 1: where I'm going to be for hopefully, knock on wood,
Speaker 1: the entire rest of my days and the rest of
Speaker 1: my life. But that still pops up in there. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can totally do casual. I can be on call.
Speaker 1: It's fine. I'll just make sure i'm at six am
Speaker 1: crew with the tambourines going rolling in at quarter to six.
Speaker 1: But like, I'm genuinely so happy about my life right now.
Speaker 1: And that's not me being like, oh, you're just saying that. No,
Speaker 1: I actually am, Like, I've worked my ass off to
Speaker 1: get to this point where i can say I'm happy.
Speaker 1: And when I look back at that girl that was
Speaker 1: training for OURSMP, she didn't have any of this. She
Speaker 1: didn't have the people, she didn't have the purpose, she
Speaker 1: didn't get to live the exact life that I'm living
Speaker 1: right now. She had a really good meal plan and
Speaker 1: workout schedule. And that's about it, all right, So that's
Speaker 1: it for today. If this is something that maybe I
Speaker 1: hit the nail right on the head for you. Come
Speaker 1: and talk to me about it if you want to
Speaker 1: have a conversation. High five to you. I hope that
Speaker 1: this resonates with you. Send it to someone else who
Speaker 1: needs to hear this maybe, and I'll catch you on
Speaker 1: the next one.