Speaker 1: Hey all, we hope you enjoyed your Christmas. We know
Speaker 1: some of you are new here, so we figured we
Speaker 1: take a trip down memory lane.
Speaker 2: Here's a deep.
Speaker 3: Dive replay that'll help you get to know us just
Speaker 3: a little bit better.
Speaker 2: We hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 3: Welcome to another deep dive edition of the Chicks on
Speaker 3: the Right Podcast. We have been in this outfit our pjs.
Speaker 1: For straight Yeah, like sore. We're starting to reak, you guys,
Speaker 1: it's really getting ugly. It's fine, it's.
Speaker 3: Getting to be but you know what, we could have
Speaker 3: showered between our live stream of this morning and the
Speaker 3: recording of this episode. But then we thought, why, why
Speaker 3: why would we do that. We're not We're gonna be
Speaker 3: real in this episode.
Speaker 1: I might as well just not shower. Yeah. So last
Speaker 1: week my father passed away and I told you guys
Speaker 1: at the end of last week that that had happened
Speaker 1: after a full week of just not I just wasn't
Speaker 1: myself the whole week, and people were like, what's going
Speaker 1: on with you? Are you? You know what? You just
Speaker 1: are not you? And so I think it was Friday
Speaker 1: that I told everybody. I was like, it was a yeah,
Speaker 1: a week ago tomorrow. I told, well, now we're recording this,
Speaker 1: that it would be a week ago yesterday that I
Speaker 1: told everybody you know that my dad passed away. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I should probably, you know, do something
Speaker 1: a little deeper about this and tell people, give people
Speaker 1: a little bit more information about what's going on. My
Speaker 1: husband prompted me to do that first of all, because
Speaker 1: he was like, you just don't share enough, and you're like,
Speaker 1: you keep things you know. And then it's funny because
Speaker 1: Pastor Shelley wrote me something the other day. She's like,
Speaker 1: you're like Melissa Manchester. He's like that whole remember that
Speaker 1: song Don't Cry out Loud? Yeah, inside oh, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that song. Yeah. So anyway, so my
Speaker 1: husband encouraged me to do it, and then I talked
Speaker 1: to you and Valin, our producer Valin, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm comfortable with doing that, but
Speaker 1: I but you guys encouraged me to do it, and
Speaker 1: so I thought, you know what, we'll just talk a
Speaker 1: little bit about that because I figured I'm like the
Speaker 1: only person that has family issues or a dysfunctional family,
Speaker 1: and you were like, I assure you that You're not
Speaker 1: the only person, and when you said that out loud,
Speaker 1: you would not believe. I mean, already I started getting
Speaker 1: a lot of people writing and saying, Daisy, like I
Speaker 1: have a really dysfunctional family, let me tell you about it.
Speaker 1: And just the support that I've already gotten with people
Speaker 1: not even knowing what's going on so or what had
Speaker 1: happened in my family at all. So it just the support,
Speaker 1: the love, the encouragement, the sweet words. So appreciative of
Speaker 1: people in our community. We have the best community.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's amazing, greatest people.
Speaker 1: So so backing up to last Monday, two mondays ago,
Speaker 1: I got a text from Miriam. I was in the
Speaker 1: car with my family. It was the Monday before my
Speaker 1: daughter went back to school, and so we were all
Speaker 1: getting back from eating a cracker barrel and I get
Speaker 1: a text from Miriam and she was like, I just
Speaker 1: saw your sister's Facebook's still she was still friends with
Speaker 1: my sister on Facebook. She's like, am I reading right?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? It's stupid to ask if you're okay?
Speaker 1: But are you okay? What can I do? And how
Speaker 1: did I like tell why I should I tell?
Speaker 3: Like my perspective of this, that's right, totally, I should yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: So the reason I texted her that is because I'm
Speaker 3: not on Facebook super often where I would see her
Speaker 3: sister's posts, But for some reason, I was on it
Speaker 3: and I saw her sister post photographs of her their
Speaker 3: dad and and her sisters now deceased husband together with
Speaker 3: a caption that said together again, I miss you both
Speaker 3: so much, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, what the hell?
Speaker 3: So I'm thinking that, surely that can't mean that her
Speaker 3: father passed away.
Speaker 2: That can't mean that, right.
Speaker 3: I immediately go to text her, and when I said
Speaker 3: that text, I got one of those auto things that says,
Speaker 3: Amy Joe has notifications silenced, And I thought to myself, well,
Speaker 3: of course she does, because she just found out her
Speaker 3: father passed away, and so of course she's not taking
Speaker 3: text messages right now.
Speaker 2: And I just sort of sat back and waited.
Speaker 3: But then I scrolled down on her sister's Facebook and
Speaker 3: saw the official announcement, and so then I knew one
Speaker 3: hundred percent that her father had passed away.
Speaker 1: Go yeah, So I was like, I wrote back, and
Speaker 1: I go, wait, what is happening? Call me what? I
Speaker 1: don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, oh my god, I have
Speaker 2: to tell her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was like, oh my god, she doesn't know.
Speaker 1: So Miriam called me and so I'm on the phone
Speaker 1: in the car with my husband and my daughter, and
Speaker 1: Miriam is having to tell me that my father has
Speaker 1: passed away and reading me what is going on? And then,
Speaker 1: you know, come to find out after Yeah, I'm in shock,
Speaker 1: and she's bawling hysterically on the phone. She's having to
Speaker 1: be the one to do this, and you know, listen,
Speaker 1: it's not that I'm having to console her, but she's like,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be consoling me. I'm just like, I don't
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm having to tell you this. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. And she feels terrible me. I'm glad it
Speaker 1: was her that, you know, that she's the one that
Speaker 1: told me. I mean, I can't think of a better
Speaker 1: person to tell me in that moment, right, But she
Speaker 1: told me. And then I'm like, what, like, what is
Speaker 1: even going on? And then come to find out he
Speaker 1: had had he had had lung cancer for four months
Speaker 1: and I didn't know about that. And then after, you know,
Speaker 1: you you kind of have to backtrack. You have to
Speaker 1: go backwards after that. So, you know, during that day,
Speaker 1: I sort of things were unraveling, like the onion was
Speaker 1: peeling back, and I started learning things about like there
Speaker 1: are other people in my family that knew that. Not
Speaker 1: not immediate family, obviously, but there are other people in
Speaker 1: my extended family that knew that he was sick, and
Speaker 1: and I didn't know. And I guess some of the
Speaker 1: people were sworn to secrecy and they weren't supposed to
Speaker 1: tell tell me that that he was sick. And so
Speaker 1: it was just like this weird feeling of betrayal. Like
Speaker 1: I was sad. I was like all the emotions, every
Speaker 1: emotion you can think of, a big roller coaster of emotions.
Speaker 1: So I had not spoken to my father for the
Speaker 1: last time I spoke to my father was three years
Speaker 1: ago this February. I have a bunch of stuff written
Speaker 1: here because I have to remember, because it's like the
Speaker 1: past thirty years of my dad have been kind of
Speaker 1: a like a shit storm. The first eighteen years of
Speaker 1: my life with my dad were great. I had a
Speaker 1: great childhood. I grew up in a really loving household,
Speaker 1: two great parents. I feel like I was pretty well
Speaker 1: adjusted up to that point, like my.
Speaker 2: Seven houses away from my husband.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I grew up in a good neighborhood. You know,
Speaker 1: everything was wonderful and then and I can backtrack to that,
Speaker 1: but there's just lots of stuff leading up to that.
Speaker 1: But the last time I talked to my dad was
Speaker 1: was three years years ago. And so what happened that
Speaker 1: made that relationship go bad? Well, let me le Yeah,
Speaker 1: I should probably back up to what made it go bad, right,
Speaker 1: So thirty ish years ago, thirty three ish years ago,
Speaker 1: I was what nineteen? When I was nineteen, I came
Speaker 1: home from college and I just remember, like I didn't
Speaker 1: come home from college much when I was around a
Speaker 1: junior in college because by that time, you're pretty established
Speaker 1: in college and you don't like coming home. You like
Speaker 1: being a college more than you like being at home.
Speaker 1: And so I came home and I remember my mother
Speaker 1: wasn't she just wasn't well, Like she was real thin.
Speaker 1: You could tell she was just like something was going on.
Speaker 1: She was frazzled. Things were not good in the house.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if I can't remember if that
Speaker 1: was the reason I came home, but I just remember
Speaker 1: coming home that weekend and I found out that my
Speaker 1: dad was he had been cheating on my mother. And
Speaker 1: so up to that point, everything in everything was great,
Speaker 1: like my parents' marriage was, at least to me, I
Speaker 1: thought it was a wonderful marriage. Everything was great, the
Speaker 1: house was great, our family was perfect. Everything was wonderful.
Speaker 1: So I'd found out that he had been cheating on
Speaker 1: my mom, and I know, we all just sort of,
Speaker 1: I guess, recognize the fact that he had probably been
Speaker 1: doing this for several years. And so in that moment,
Speaker 1: like I just I figured, Okay, well the guy that
Speaker 1: I knew was no longer you know, the guy that
Speaker 1: I knew. Right, So everything flipped for me that weekend,
Speaker 1: and I called a family meeting because I think he
Speaker 1: was just going to assume that he was going to
Speaker 1: go on living his life like he was going to
Speaker 1: keep cheating on my mom and then being married to
Speaker 1: my mom, and so I said family meeting. And so
Speaker 1: I called a family meeting, and I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: here's a deal. So you can't stay married to mom
Speaker 1: and keep doing this. You need to gtf up. And
Speaker 1: so he left, He packed his step and he left,
Speaker 1: and so in that moment, I became I went from
Speaker 1: being a daughter to being like this object of opposition
Speaker 1: from my dad. And so it wasn't just him changing
Speaker 1: for me. I changed for him. I think that I
Speaker 1: went from being you know, like this this person that
Speaker 1: he liked, to somebody that he probably didn't like very
Speaker 1: much anymore. And because you called him on an I
Speaker 1: called him on his shit. Yeah, And so it wasn't
Speaker 1: just me that looked at him differently. He looked at
Speaker 1: me differently, and we just were never the same after
Speaker 1: that moment, ever, And and so it was both of us,
Speaker 1: you know, it was a mutual thing, and we just
Speaker 1: kind of butted heads from that point forward. It just
Speaker 1: it never recovered. My sister always looked at him, even
Speaker 1: in the times where I think she was sort of
Speaker 1: like on my side where she was pissed off and
Speaker 1: you know, she was like, you know, I'm mad at
Speaker 1: dad for this, and I'm I'm you know, looking at
Speaker 1: him a little. She just she's still really, you know,
Speaker 1: adored him, and that's okay, that's fine. That was like her.
Speaker 1: She had every right to do that. It's just that
Speaker 1: I didn't. And so we just didn't have the same
Speaker 1: relationship from that point forward, and it never recovered. And
Speaker 1: thirty three years were just like you know, ups and downs,
Speaker 1: ups and downs. There were times where I tried to
Speaker 1: have a relationship with him, like you always. I always
Speaker 1: was the one who extended the olive branch, and I
Speaker 1: always was the one who was like, Okay, well I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to you know, go visit him. I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to have a relationship with him. I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to make this work. I'm gonna, you know,
Speaker 1: do my best to have some semblance of a father
Speaker 1: daughter thing here. And it just never stuck. You know,
Speaker 1: we never got to the point where we could get
Speaker 1: back to the place that we were. It just never
Speaker 1: got that that stable footing, if you will. So we
Speaker 1: just never got the like I remember, you know, when
Speaker 1: my husband and I, I was married once before, and
Speaker 1: that we were never close during that marriage. And then
Speaker 1: when I got divorced and I got married to my husband,
Speaker 1: my now husband, we were getting ready to get married
Speaker 1: and my dad was like, hey, you know, we'll pay
Speaker 1: for the whole wedding. And I remember going through that
Speaker 1: whole process and it was like this he wanted this
Speaker 1: over the top thing, and I just I went to
Speaker 1: him and I said, you know, what. It's not really
Speaker 1: our style. We're more casual. We don't want all this
Speaker 1: like you know, steak and lobster stuff. We don't want
Speaker 1: anything fancy. And so we butted heads about that, and
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, We're just gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and pay for it on our own. We're going to
Speaker 1: have something really casual. We ended up having like a
Speaker 1: six hundred dollars wedding, you know, and it was like
Speaker 1: the reception was at our house and I was barefoot,
Speaker 1: and it was you know, really it was the way
Speaker 1: that you it was the way that we wanted it right,
Speaker 1: and he hated that. He just hated it. So we
Speaker 1: butted heads about that. I mean just little things along
Speaker 1: the way that were like that. And so that was.
Speaker 1: It was stuff like that all during this, like trying
Speaker 1: to have a relationship with them.
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Speaker 1: slash Chicks do it. But then, you know, like when
Speaker 1: my daughter was born, I tried again to you know,
Speaker 1: have this relationship with him because I knew that since
Speaker 1: there was this this baby girl there, that she may
Speaker 1: want to have a relationship with him, and so I
Speaker 1: tried very hard to extend it all a branch. I
Speaker 1: would invite him to every single birthday party that she
Speaker 1: had for the first five years of her life, you know,
Speaker 1: cause those birthday parties are like people standing around and
Speaker 1: watching this sweet little baby, you know, shovecake all over
Speaker 1: the place. And so I invited him to all those
Speaker 1: birthday He never came. He never There was always an
Speaker 1: excuse for him not to come, whether it was some
Speaker 1: weird logistical thing or if it was you know weather,
Speaker 1: I remember there was.
Speaker 3: But then he would always bitch to you about bringing
Speaker 3: Gwen to see him in Florida when he is retired.
Speaker 3: She's working her ass off basically in two.
Speaker 1: Jobs that was corporate, sometimes three, sometimes three because I
Speaker 1: was also a professor at the time, so I had
Speaker 1: some There were times where I had three jobs and
Speaker 1: it was really hard for me to get away, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, you can come here and
Speaker 1: see her. And there were times where he would fly
Speaker 1: into town, into Indianapolis and bypass us and just go
Speaker 1: see his brothers in South Bend and we would be like,
Speaker 1: you can stop here and come see your granddaughter. And
Speaker 1: so it was it was always that I had to
Speaker 1: to make arrangements to do the things, and I felt
Speaker 1: like there was just again, it was like, it's just
Speaker 1: this reject this feeling of rejection and abandonment that was
Speaker 1: just lingering all the time in our relationship. It was
Speaker 1: just there, it was like right there on surface, and
Speaker 1: so I felt like I was always the one having
Speaker 1: to do that. And then he would complain that I
Speaker 1: was trying to somehow keep my daughter from him, which
Speaker 1: was absurd. It was completely absurd, and so that was that.
Speaker 1: So anyway, so that kind of hung out during during
Speaker 1: our entire I guess relationship, if you want to call
Speaker 1: it relationship. And then there were times we just didn't talk,
Speaker 1: you know, because we would argue and we would fight
Speaker 1: a lot, and there was that. So anyways, the past
Speaker 1: three years we have not spoken, and what happened three
Speaker 1: years ago was my sister was getting ready to get married.
Speaker 1: Her husband is now deceased. He passed away unfortunately, gosh
Speaker 1: during year. Yeah, I married a year. They were married
Speaker 1: a year and he passed away during a surgery. It
Speaker 1: was awful. But she was getting ready to get married,
Speaker 1: and she told me that she was going to have
Speaker 1: a very very small wedding and no one was going
Speaker 1: to be invited and that so nobody was nobody going
Speaker 1: to be there. So my mother and I were not
Speaker 1: going to be invited, and nobody's going to be there,
Speaker 1: And come to find out, she was inviting people. However,
Speaker 1: my mother and I were not invited, and so this
Speaker 1: was going to be broadcast on Facebook and it was
Speaker 1: going to be on social media. And I was devastated
Speaker 1: for my mother. I mean, I could handle it because
Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, no big deal, because you know, like
Speaker 1: whatever I'll see, We've seen some stuff, We've been through
Speaker 1: some stuff, so whatever, I can handle that. But my
Speaker 1: mother was going to be devastated by the fact that,
Speaker 1: like my dad was going to be there, my step
Speaker 1: mom was going to be there, his whole family was
Speaker 1: going to be there, and my Mom's going to be
Speaker 1: left out. Of this, and she was going to be
Speaker 1: watching this and social media devastated because she was not
Speaker 1: invited to her daughter, her oldest daughter's wedding, right. So
Speaker 1: I was pissed, and so I called my dad and
Speaker 1: I said, I cannot believe she lied about this. She
Speaker 1: is a liar. And he hung up the phone on me,
Speaker 1: and that was that, and that was he never he
Speaker 1: never reached out, he never called me, and he just
Speaker 1: hung up on me because he didn't want to hear that.
Speaker 1: And so they went through with the wedding and they
Speaker 1: were all there and my mother and I were excluded,
Speaker 1: and they they just left us out of everything.
Speaker 3: And when when did the whole like facebook like social
Speaker 3: media block happen?
Speaker 1: Within a couple of weeks after that, then everybody we
Speaker 1: were blocked. Everybody was blocked from every like we were
Speaker 1: just completely like shunned. We were done. So that was it.
Speaker 1: So that was the That was it. That was And
Speaker 1: there was never a time where he, you know, reached
Speaker 1: out and wanted to to say, gush, I'm really sorry
Speaker 1: about that, or we should get together, or he wanted
Speaker 1: to even have some semblance of a relationship with my
Speaker 1: daughter or my husband. For that matter. I mean, there
Speaker 1: was just nothing, absolutely nothing over the past three years.
Speaker 1: So I didn't pursue it. I didn't. I just kind
Speaker 1: of thought, well, this is what he wants, and so
Speaker 1: I'm I'm done that and I have. I've extended a
Speaker 1: lot of olive branches. I at this point in my life,
Speaker 1: I just figured, Okay, I'm done with that. And so
Speaker 1: the weird thing about it is that there's a weird
Speaker 1: narrative in my family that I am somehow the reason
Speaker 1: for it. Like I'm somehow the reason for the space,
Speaker 1: like the reason for the distance and the reason for
Speaker 1: the rejection and the abandonment. And it's it's so weird
Speaker 1: how that's somehow put off on me and I just
Speaker 1: sort of own it, like I kind of go, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I guess if that's the narrative, then I just kind
Speaker 1: of go with it. And but it's weird how you
Speaker 1: after years of it and you just if you don't
Speaker 1: push back, you end up with that label on you.
Speaker 1: It's just bizarre. It's bizarre how narratives get formed in
Speaker 1: families and you just if you don't push back, that's
Speaker 1: you end up owning those narratives. It's just really strange
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: It's gaslighting.
Speaker 1: It is. It's kind of like gaslighting, it really is.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't When my my sister's husband died, I
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't really I wasn't invited to her wedding.
Speaker 1: I wasn't really invite I wasn't invited her a marriage
Speaker 1: because I wasn't invited to her a wedding, and so
Speaker 1: I wasn't there. And so when he passed away, she
Speaker 1: somehow expected me to be there for the funeral, and
Speaker 1: I didn't show up for the funeral. I did call
Speaker 1: her and I you know, told her listen, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm very sorry, and and you know, basically I love
Speaker 1: you and if you need me, you can call me.
Speaker 1: But I'm I didn't show up for the funeral.
Speaker 3: Because I was you had like you had some serious
Speaker 3: life going on at the time, because I feel like
Speaker 3: there was a part of you that you would have
Speaker 3: gone had you not had a lot of other obligations
Speaker 3: personally with Gwen and swimming, and there was just a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker 1: There was. But I mean, I also it's just a
Speaker 1: it was very strange for me because I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I wasn't. I wasn't invited to your
Speaker 1: life right with this person. And then now that he's gone,
Speaker 1: you want me to be there for you for the funeral.
Speaker 1: That was just an odd thing for me, and and
Speaker 1: she is so she hates me for that. I mean,
Speaker 1: she just hates me. So it's that was a that
Speaker 1: was very strange for me. And the family hates me
Speaker 1: for that too, because they think that I should have
Speaker 1: been there, but they didn't think that I was good
Speaker 1: enough to come to the wedding and the and be
Speaker 1: there for the the life they had together. It's just
Speaker 1: a very bizarre thing. And my family wasn't good enough
Speaker 1: to be there for the either of those things. I
Speaker 1: just it's it's just bizarre. So the whole, you know,
Speaker 1: the abandonment thing is real. Now. I look at like
Speaker 1: my dad and I think, Okay, so for four months
Speaker 1: he knew he was going to leave this earth. And
Speaker 1: you know, I've had discussions over the past week with
Speaker 1: my with my husband about this, and I think, Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, I he knew he was going to go.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's you think that in your in your
Speaker 1: last days, you would I just wonder what I would
Speaker 1: do you would not do this. I wonder, like with
Speaker 1: my children, and I wonder if I if I had
Speaker 1: some sort of beef with my first of all all
Speaker 1: three of our children, I mean I would always I
Speaker 1: just I feel like I would never stop communicating with
Speaker 1: my children. I just can't imagine not not communicating with them.
Speaker 1: If that's just me. I mean, everybody to each their
Speaker 1: own right, But I just can't imagine taking anything to
Speaker 1: my grave if I were, if I were angry, or
Speaker 1: if I I can't imagine having that much hate for
Speaker 1: one of my children where I would not want to
Speaker 1: say something to them before if I knew I was
Speaker 1: going to go. It's one thing to not know, but
Speaker 1: when you know four ments an advance, when you know
Speaker 1: that you're going to go, to not be able to
Speaker 1: not want to say something to them, or to say
Speaker 1: something to your only grandchild, or.
Speaker 2: To want to leave the earth with that.
Speaker 1: Cloud hanging over your head.
Speaker 2: And not wanting resolution right yourself. Like that's just.
Speaker 3: Bizarre to me that he wanted to go to the grid.
Speaker 3: Specifically gave instructions to her sister, do not tell her.
Speaker 2: Don't tell her when.
Speaker 1: I die, right, don't tell what the hell is that.
Speaker 1: Don't tell her that I'm that I am dying, and
Speaker 1: don't tell her, Yeah, I don't. And there's there's been
Speaker 1: no funeral, there's been there was no obituary, there's been nothing.
Speaker 1: I'm just I It's just it's so.
Speaker 3: And even if there were that, no one would send
Speaker 3: her anything. It would be us finding it on the internet.
Speaker 1: Right. I've I've not been privy to any information about
Speaker 1: any of this. It's like, it's like I don't exist.
Speaker 1: It's like the family wants me to know. They're so like,
Speaker 1: you're not you don't exist, You're not even a daughter.
Speaker 1: It's I've gotten four messages from people since he's passed.
Speaker 2: In your family, in my well.
Speaker 1: No family and friends combined.
Speaker 2: Excluding our community. Who's been amazing.
Speaker 1: You guys have been amazing. You guys have been absolutely amazing,
Speaker 1: like above and beyond. But I've gotten, let's see, from
Speaker 1: my family. I've received one person in my family that
Speaker 1: has reached out to me. It was a cousin, my
Speaker 1: first one of my first cousins has reached out to
Speaker 1: me to say that they were sorry. And then I've
Speaker 1: had three friends, you know, three friends, three childhood friends,
Speaker 1: reach out to me.
Speaker 2: Who you know, know that this happened.
Speaker 1: Right, and that's that's it, and that's it. That's it.
Speaker 1: One person in my family has reached out to me
Speaker 1: that mine's fucked up. One person and that's it. And
Speaker 1: I'm astounded by that. I mean, these are people who
Speaker 1: I've it's like, I've been there when their loved ones
Speaker 1: have passed away. Just in the past year. I've been
Speaker 1: there for them. It's like, and I nothing, not a pete.
Speaker 1: It's so it's you. It's a eye opener. It's been
Speaker 1: an eye opening week or two for me. And and
Speaker 1: then another thing that's super eye opening is that I
Speaker 1: normally I would have just not said a thing. I
Speaker 1: would have not done this. I would have not I
Speaker 1: would have just talked about it with her and would
Speaker 1: have kept it with my family. But I think that
Speaker 1: there are a lot of people that deal with this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. I think they're One thing that you
Speaker 1: know has been very eye opening for me is the
Speaker 1: amount of emails and messages I've received from people who
Speaker 1: I don't know personally who are writing me their personal
Speaker 1: stories and saying you are not alone in this this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, like here's my family story. This is
Speaker 1: what happened to me. I was a strange from my father.
Speaker 1: I was a strangth from my sister and my brother
Speaker 1: and my mother, and this is what happened and like
Speaker 1: similar stories, and that has really touched me because I
Speaker 1: you know, I honestly when I last week, when I
Speaker 1: mentioned this to you guys, I was like, I'm the
Speaker 1: only person who's dealing with Oh my god, only like
Speaker 1: my family is so messed up. And I honestly thought, like,
Speaker 1: it's so hard for me to be able to even
Speaker 1: share this, like with people that I semi note, like
Speaker 1: even people that I work with, because I'm just like,
Speaker 1: you kind of want to act like you have everything together,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and you're just like it's fine,
Speaker 1: I've got it's it's totally fine, Like my family's fine,
Speaker 1: it's fine. But you know, you would be surprised how
Speaker 1: many people are dealing with stuff like this and that
Speaker 1: you know, they they go to work, they have friends,
Speaker 1: they have you know, their lives, and then they have
Speaker 1: this looming in the background and they do feel abandoned
Speaker 1: by summoning their family, or they do feel rejected, or
Speaker 1: they're dealing with just the emotional upheaval of stuff like
Speaker 1: this and you have no idea. So I appreciate the
Speaker 1: messages and the love and the support of all y'all, because, man,
Speaker 1: it made such a huge difference just reading some of
Speaker 1: that stuff.
Speaker 3: And knowing you're not alone, right, right, because it's way
Speaker 3: more abnormal to have a normal normal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, true, true, yeah, Because I mean that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's families or families are dynamic. They are complicated and
Speaker 1: dynamic and hard. They can be really hard. And you know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm listen. I'm grateful that I've been able to
Speaker 1: build a an immediate family that is awesome. And you know,
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for my husband, who is an amazing father. God,
Speaker 1: he's so he's such a great father. I'll get really
Speaker 1: emotional talking about him. And I and my kids are amazing.
Speaker 1: And I have the greatest friend in the whole world.
Speaker 1: I have this great community. I'm so grateful for so
Speaker 1: many things. So I mean, like I win you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, I win the lottery with that. Like seriously,
Speaker 1: I've won the lottery with life. It's like I cannot,
Speaker 1: I cannot be more grateful for all that stuff. So
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was gonna cry. Damn, why did
Speaker 1: you do that?
Speaker 3: Because like we made it, we're like almost to the end,
Speaker 3: and you lose, and I will sympathy cry, you.
Speaker 2: Know, I will.
Speaker 1: I've been so good about that for the past couple
Speaker 1: of days. I've been so good about not crying. But
Speaker 1: I'm just I am. I'm truly That's it's a good cry.
Speaker 1: It's like a happy cry. I really am grateful for
Speaker 1: all that stuff, you guys, so, and that's what you
Speaker 1: have to do. You have to be grateful for the
Speaker 1: good stuff.
Speaker 3: Right totally, right totally, and like I don't mean to
Speaker 3: because that's a really beautiful way to end this. But
Speaker 3: I also have like vengeance in my heart about this
Speaker 3: whole thing, and so the other, the other good thing,
Speaker 3: the other thing to be grateful for is she's never
Speaker 3: going to be the kind of person who would go
Speaker 3: to her deathbed with this kind of vendetta against a
Speaker 3: member of her own family.
Speaker 2: That is fucked up.
Speaker 3: And the reason that I was sobbing when I called
Speaker 3: her was rage. It had nothing to do with being
Speaker 3: sad about her father dying. Maybe that sounds like shitty
Speaker 3: that I wasn't having a part.
Speaker 4: Of it is.
Speaker 1: I'd already mourned him over the past right two years.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've had my moments over the past week.
Speaker 1: But when you haven't talked to somebody and they've rejected you,
Speaker 1: you you already go through periods of crying and warning
Speaker 1: over that person. I mean, I imagine you guys understand that
Speaker 1: if you've been through that. I mean I already did that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he was there was always a chance, oh
Speaker 3: do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: And now there isn't. And that is one hundred percent
Speaker 2: on him, right.
Speaker 3: So the fact that he went to his death with
Speaker 3: that kind of thing hanging like a cloud hanging over.
Speaker 2: That he controlled is just that's a sickness. That's that's
Speaker 2: fucked up. And she will never be that fucked up.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I was just in a rage that that
Speaker 3: was how you were finding out. I could not believe
Speaker 3: that her, entire that side of the family would do
Speaker 3: that to her.
Speaker 1: I love my kids, and well I cannot I cannot
Speaker 1: wait to have grandkids, and I just, yeah, I just
Speaker 1: I don't get it. I just I don't get that.
Speaker 1: That's a whole different mental and you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: still glad. I don't get that, Yeah, exactly. I'm just
Speaker 1: glad I don't get it. And I'm grateful for that too,
Speaker 1: so oh, you know, and grateful for all this, So
Speaker 1: thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this.
Speaker 1: It's really weird, so not.
Speaker 2: Our typical deep dive, so weird.
Speaker 4: And I hope we're talking about like midget porn next time,
Speaker 4: because this is really weird. But but you now, I'm
Speaker 4: grateful that I have this platform to be able to
Speaker 4: do this. Right, What a blessing, What a glessing it is,
Speaker 4: and what a blessing you.
Speaker 1: Guys are, And no one out there is alone. We're
Speaker 1: not alone, right, We're not alone? So wow, I love
Speaker 1: you guys.
Speaker 2: Thanks for watching.
Speaker 3: We'll be back January sixth, so make sure to tune
Speaker 3: in and bring a friend, follow us.
Speaker 1: And subscribe on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts link in bio