Speaker 1: What's up, besties, it's your mother. I am so excited
to see you. I've missed you. I love you all
of the good things. If if you want to come
see me on the road, please do I don't know
when this episode is going to come out because I'm
not an adult and I don't have a plan, But
check out my dates at Brittany Schmidt dot com b
R I T T A N Y S E h
M I T T dot com, and then also check
out Rina Greenberg's dates because I am on most of
those with her DM me. If you have any questions,
I would love to see you on the road. We
are going to get right into this episode with my friend, comedian, podcaster,
all around psychopath Gabby Lamb. I hope you guys enjoyed
this as much as I did.
Speaker 2: What meds are you on these days?
Speaker 3: Are we rolling?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll tell you what meds my on these days?
I'm on lexapro Oh do okay? God to take it
last night. I forgot to take it today.
Speaker 2: Do you have any on you?
Speaker 1: That's why I'm no, That's why I started question.
Speaker 3: Do you get the brains apps when you miss it? No?
Speaker 1: Not if I miss it for a day. If I
miss it for like three.
Speaker 3: Days, mine sets in like immediately.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I don't get the brains apps, but
I just don't want to be depressed today. And I
was like driving over the hill and I was just like,
Gabby's probably got lexapro.
Speaker 3: Not all me. Damn, I know. Sorry. How many milligrams
are you on?
Speaker 2: Five?
Speaker 3: Baby?
Speaker 2: Baby?
Speaker 3: I'm trying to go up. I'm on ten.
Speaker 1: But I'd like to never feel your clit again.
Speaker 3: I'd like to never feel like it's like I already
know what it feels like. I don't need too.
Speaker 1: It's honestly, feeling my clit didn't help me not want
to kill myself. So it's like, yeah, I just i'd
rather just have like a jackhammer.
Speaker 4: For a vibrator. Then fine, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, So
you're on like the pro and what else. We're on lexapro.
We as in my all of my personalities. So we've
got lexapro ten milligrams. Would like to up it, Gaba
penan at night, would like.
Speaker 3: To get off of it. Don't feel like going through withdrawals,
so stand penton.
Speaker 2: Isn't that just for anxiety?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: If you up the le Supper.
Speaker 1: You should be fine because lex supress for anxiety and depression.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think he's on Gaba Penon.
Speaker 3: A lot of animals are yeah, A lot of my
cats have it too. Oh okay, so yeah we're on
Gabba Pensen.
Speaker 1: Remember when you did a gofund me for your cats
and then you got lip filler.
Speaker 3: No, I got used it for my cats. I would
never do. You are trying to drag my pussy through
the fucking mud, dude. I would never I rebuke that.
I remember I got Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2: Got so okay. I'm not saying you actually did it,
but you did get smoked. Dude, got smody man.
Speaker 1: So many people were like, did she just started GoFundMe
for her cats and then go get new lips?
Speaker 3: I don't remember that.
Speaker 2: You don't know, well, well maybe it was happening behind
your bag.
Speaker 3: People were saying it must have been because I, uh, yeah,
my cat got fucked up and I got it was
britt I guess, dude.
Speaker 2: I didn't hear that.
Speaker 3: People were so sympathetic. They were like, oh my god,
miss p miss p that was the worst time. But
I did not get lip filler with it. I use
it to pay off all of the stupid vet bills
which were so expensive.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the vets don't give you room to save the money.
Speaker 1: You know, they really don't give a fuck. They're like,
if your animal's dying, here, it's ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: Sorry, it's ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It was all of the money I got immediately had
to just go to her. Yeah, and it was fine.
Speaker 1: How's she doing. It's great keeping you up at night?
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, she lost her voice after all of that,
but she's fine, so nice. It's cute when she mews.
It's like that she goes, she opens her rothin. Just
that's for mew.
Speaker 2: So we can cut that. We don't have to put that.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 3: No, I like that, because you know what, maybe if
I didn't use all that money to get lip filler,
she'd have her meal back.
Speaker 1: If you shouldn't let her get some blip filler, I
should get her lip filler, she'd get miss peace.
Speaker 3: They are looking a little thin, they are looking a
little thin. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, remember when I did this
podcast before I had any followers, during the pandemic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you were my first guest.
Speaker 3: I was so exciting, and we were like very new.
Speaker 2: Friends, brand new.
Speaker 1: I had just met you and you came over and
you were like hung over from New Year's Eve because
you started in the New Year, you were hungover from
New Year's Eve still, and you had been doing Molly
the whole night before. And I saw it. Yeah, and
I saw that video recently and I was like, damn.
Speaker 2: You look so good.
Speaker 1: Like your glow up from that moment to this one
has been unbelievable.
Speaker 3: I wish we had I wish we had it to
drop in.
Speaker 1: You're like, I remember you're on the couch like this
and your like skin.
Speaker 3: Is gray, My skin's gray.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you might need to get sober,
and you're like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: And then like a few days later, you did yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Did we okay? Because we did that, And then I
was on your your podcast, your last podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh yeah, were almost got us.
Speaker 2: We always lest our sponsors.
Speaker 3: Because okay, are your listeners now? Like most of them,
I think.
Speaker 1: Some of them came from that, and I think some
of them are new. I think a lot of them
dropped off because a lot of them were there for
the duo.
Speaker 3: Right, and that is what happens when you have a
duo podcast. Yeahic sides and then it just doesn't ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not even that. I think there's something different
about like the chemistry of a two people bantering rather
than just like me screaming into the ether. Yeah, it's
a different thing. Like you know, I drank a cold
brew before the before my Christmas episode, the holiday episode, whatever,
and I was just talking really fast, and every single
comment was like, I think she's on coke.
Speaker 2: I think she started smoking.
Speaker 3: Crack, And I was I wish, I literally wish, I
literally literally because you're sensitive to caffeine very sense, and
you stopped. You weren't drinking it for a long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I took a year off and then I always
try and oh my god.
Speaker 3: Mike, oh my god. Wait. Okay, also not you dress
like a polar bear. Oh my god. Wait. We look
crazy different, we both do. Don't worry.
Speaker 2: This is a private video's Oh yeah, yeah, I was
gonna say, Mike, Yeah, Mike.
Speaker 3: We look you look so midwestern here.
Speaker 1: I honestly look like I'm gonna try and convert you
to Catholicism.
Speaker 3: You know, you look Jehovah witness. You look you look.
You look like a Christian nationalist.
Speaker 2: And you look like I just plucked you out of
a rave.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yeah, I look kind of homeless, like you might
live in your car. Yeah, which I probably did.
Speaker 2: Wow, I didn't think I ever looked like that.
Speaker 3: That's crazy, crazy, I didn't think I ever looked like that.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is is stressing me out. But anyway, we
had a fun time. We were This is stressed, this
is wild. This is stressing me out. It's stressing me
out that I thought that surfboard looked good next to
that couch.
Speaker 3: I'm fucking screaming. I know, I'm looking at my outfit
and I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 5: What the he hell no notes on my outfit, A
perfect outfigure right are picked up.
Speaker 3: But you know what it's like, in a couple of
years from now, I'll look back at this and be like,
what the fuck was I wearing this?
Speaker 1: You know, that's just how life goes. Life goes like this.
You in the moment are like, I'm doing the best
I can. I look as good as I can possibly look.
I never looked better. You have all the confidence in
the world, and then you look back at it and
you're like, oh my god, I actually thought I looked
good and I look like a fucking pumpkin.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like in college?
Speaker 1: Did you go through a tanning phase in college?
Speaker 3: First of all, didn't go to college, thank you, But
did I go through a tanning phase?
Speaker 2: Did you graduate high school?
Speaker 3: I graduated high school.
Speaker 2: I went to I don't know, you just got.
Speaker 3: Like, no, I went to I went to a theater school,
which is whatever after high school, which doesn't was just.
Speaker 2: A guy with a stage in a backyard. You filed things?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, doing death of a salesman in a guy's backyard. No, biki.
I went through a huge tanning pace for like a decade. Uh.
And it started in high school. And I remember just
laying in my backyard covered in baby oil and my
mom would yell at me and be like, you're gonna
fuck your skin up and regret it one day. Look
at mice, because my mom's skin is I.
Speaker 1: Don't even know how to really describe it, lots of milasma.
Speaker 3: There's a lot going on there. Yeah, there's a lot.
It looks like something not of this world, and.
Speaker 2: It geez, my mom's skin is the same.
Speaker 3: And that's because your mom is not of this world anymore.
Speaker 2: She's a pilot bash.
Speaker 3: Then my mom probably has the same kind of it's
probably the same same color.
Speaker 2: Some texture.
Speaker 3: And she would look at my skin, you want to
look like this, and I would go, so, fuck you,
I'm not gonna look like you. Yeah, and you old
raggedy bitch.
Speaker 2: I'll look like raggedy, you.
Speaker 3: Old raggedy ann Yeah. But then and then I stopped
because I was like, I don't.
Speaker 2: Want to look like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, but you know, at least you were
tanning in this high and I was in tanning beds
because I was in Wisconsin.
Speaker 3: I did do tanning beds. Eventually I did graduate to that,
and it did give me a lot of last my
forehead and I got like a sash, you know, a sunstash,
a sunstash. It fucked my shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, god, but the things we did, I'm just because
that was a moment in time where I was like,
I am the hottest bitch in every single room. And
I would tan twice a day. And I looked back
at a picture recently of me in college. I was orange, yeah,
orange orange, Yeah. I had no eyebrows, and I had
a beer.
Speaker 3: Belly and I'm like, that's that's a look, dude.
Speaker 1: How how was that the time of my life when
I got the most deck.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so funny.
Speaker 1: I think guys can just sense you're young and insecure
and drunk, and they're like, yeah, well smash yeah.
Speaker 3: And you also because you have that fake confidence too,
so you're just like called tequila. Yeah, and that'll get
any guys. They've fall for that so fast going after
week was not the strong ones.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not the fastest one, not the fastest yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the orange dude I used to wear exclusively. I
would tank also, by the way, tanning twice a days
and saying, but I would do you know the self
tanner only put it on my face.
Speaker 2: Oh good, that's a good love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was very I definitely did. And I had
I would wear the bright pink like sparkly lip gloss.
So I had like frosted lips and raccoon black eyeliner.
And I remember in high school, guys, I found out
that people were calling me upa lumpa behind my back.
That's my trauma, that's my trauma. Yeah. So that was
that was my era of California looking fucking rad Yeah,
and also surprisingly surprisingly enough when I was fucking the most.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an age thing, I think.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's just like young, dumb, young tight.
Speaker 3: Remember when I'm dude, I swear to god, I'm not
tight anymore.
Speaker 1: Have you done kegel weights pussy weights?
Speaker 2: No, you need to start?
Speaker 3: What do you what do you do with the big age?
Speaker 2: You haven't done a single one.
Speaker 3: I mean I do, like only tighten my pussy muscles,
but do you do it with actual weights?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You put weights in, okay, so you can order. They're
right there. That's third. Yeah, No, they're not keegel, and
there's okay. So the white one is the lightest. It
was actually really funny when I first got these. It
was like twenty eighteen. I was married to Chris at
the time, and I, you know, you're just supposed to
start with the lightest and move your way up, but
I was like, I've got a tight fucking pussy. So
I started with like this, the heaviest one, and we
didn't even make it out the door before it fell
out and it dropped down my pant leg and hit
the ground, and Christmas like, not as tight as you thought.
Speaker 2: That's so fucking funny to kill it.
Speaker 3: Wait you put them in?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you put them in and they hang that little
string hangs out like a tampon string, and you just
leave them in throughout the day and then your your
body is forced to keep it in because it's weight.
So it's you know, and then you move up in
weight class. It's like UFC it. Yeah, you move up
in weight class until you're you've got you know you
see that feels like a Chinese finger trap.
Speaker 3: I do watch I want that? Yeah, wait, gotta start
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, hold on it.
That's blowing my mind because I know because I all
like sit around and just do the like, you know,
muscle contractions of my pussy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you leave this in. Huh like you leave it in?
You know what?
Speaker 1: The hardest tamp on when you yes, and when you
go pee, it's gonna want to pop out. And that's
when you really have to contract the muscle contract the
puss shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: Hmm.
Speaker 3: Do you do them now? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I have to. You have a twenty seven year old boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, oh my god, I can't have a
loose puss. I gotta get on this. We're do they
sell them at sex.
Speaker 1: Shops that you can just get them on Amazon. They'll
be it's probably Amazon Prime now, it'll be at your
doorstep before you get home.
Speaker 2: If you order it.
Speaker 3: I have to ask my boyfriend order them. I don't
use Amazon. He's the one with the Amazon account.
Speaker 2: Well what do you mean you don't use Amazon?
Speaker 1: Are you the only person on the planet and I
might be the only person on the planet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Amazon, Okay for not not like because I'm like
raging against the steam.
Speaker 2: It seems like you might be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems that way, and I wish it was
because of that, But it's just like because a couple
of years ago, I somehow like fucked up an Amazon
account and it just never let me like go back in.
Speaker 2: They you out. Yeah, I don't say. That's very gabulous.
You don't have any idea what you did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's either forty five bucks. I honestly should have
given you mine. I had stress set.
Speaker 2: Wow, an extra set.
Speaker 1: I just threw him in the street the other day
because I'm moving through.
Speaker 3: Them in the street.
Speaker 1: Last literally like a Rodeo cloud.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just just breaks a windshield.
Speaker 1: So you start with the So you start with the light,
and then you work your way up to the dark purple,
and then you know by the ends, pussy.
Speaker 2: Titus, pussy on the block.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I actually had no idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, that's the nice thing.
Speaker 1: So like women, if you're a little loose, and here's
the thing, it's not even like you're loose, it's just
like as your age, it's a muscle. Muscles get weaker.
We can work to tighten it. Like if you're a
man and you have a small.
Speaker 2: Dick, like, that's it. It sucks for you, it sucks
for you, but like for us.
Speaker 1: We can we can snatch that. We can tighten it
up a little bit.
Speaker 3: See in my head, and this is how like much
I don't understand female anatomy. In my head, I'm like, well,
if you're sitting around with something in your pussy, isn't
that just making your pussy looser?
Speaker 1: No, because it's weighted, and so it has to Your
pussy has to activate in order to keep it in.
Speaker 3: And it's like, I under I hear the words that
you're saying, but it doesn't.
Speaker 2: It's not most of our friendship.
Speaker 3: And I hear you, and I hear you when I
see you, But in my head, I'm still going and
I don't give a fuck. In my head, I go
this science, the science doesn't make sense to me, right.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: I just said, like, there are some girls who just
believe they're like born with the type pussy and they're
gonna have a type pussy forever.
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm used to and I was one
of those. But now I know for a fact I'm not.
For a fact, for a fact, I know I'm not.
And I'll tell you how I know this. Yeah, I'll
tell you how I know if you were wondering. Yeah,
because my boyfriend does have a big dick.
Speaker 2: Congrats.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And once we start having sex, I sometimes I'm like, well,
why can't I Why does it feel like there's nothing
in there? And I go, that's got to be my
pussy because he use a big dick.
Speaker 2: Gotta be a me problem.
Speaker 3: It's gotta be me problem.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like throwing a fucking hot dog down a
hallways starting to feel that way. It's starting to feel
that way, so it's time. That's my sign, it's time
to start going to the pussy jambabe, I guess.
Speaker 3: So, yeah, yeah, that's a that's a jarring feeling when
you go, why do I feel? And maybe, and you
know what, maybe just maybe it's an emotional thing. Maybe
I just don't feel anything in my pussy because I've
just numbed it.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: It might be the mind, but it might be the
laxipro too.
Speaker 3: Or am I just have a loose pussy? You might
just have a gaping Should we call my boyfriend?
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, quick question? You're on the podcast.
Speaker 3: I remember I did ask him one time. I was like,
on a scale of one in ten, how am I?
How loose a mind? He was like, you have that five? Five?
And I was like, that's actually so bad that you
mean the noiser cat makes when it trust about that's
what he was doing. And he's like no, and I
was like, that's loose and he's like, no, it's.
Speaker 2: Not that it's odd that.
Speaker 1: It's good to know that you can find love with
a loose pussy.
Speaker 3: You girls, you can see you girls. It's possible.
Speaker 2: Fine love.
Speaker 1: It's possible, fine love with some flapping lips, biggie.
Speaker 2: What do you want?
Speaker 3: Not even quaking? Quaking, And I'm literally wearing a period
diaper right now. Look at those.
Speaker 2: I don't need to see it. Yeah, yeah, you do.
Speaker 3: Look at it.
Speaker 2: Do you not believe in Tampa?
Speaker 3: No? I do. I just it's like I just sleep
in a in a diaper.
Speaker 2: That's crazy, that's crazy. You just did that.
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah. And it smells.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's why Biggie's quaking. He's like, there's a dying animal.
It doesn't it doesn't.
Speaker 3: Smell like period. They give it a scent. It's like
a it's like a lavender scent, but it smells unnatural.
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It's like soup broth without the all the chunks in it. Like,
is that what we call soup chunks chunky soup?
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Speaker 3: Okay, think me later, goodbye. You don't you've never used
a period, diper.
Speaker 1: Baby girl, I've had an ID for the last ten years.
I haven't had a period in ten years. I did
not know that except when I got it out to
freeze my eggs, and then the periods I had were
so unbelievable. The person I became when I was pmsing
and on my peero, I'm like, it should be illegal
to be a woman in society with a brain like this.
Ye like it's I was so unwell, like somebody could
do something, somebody like I was hooking up with a
guy I remember, and he on your period. No, no, no, no,
I was pmsing and I'm just saying I was hooking.
Speaker 2: Up with this guy. It was not a serious thing
at all.
Speaker 1: And we had a plan and he canceled the plan
and he lived in Orange County, and I, in my
head had a legitimate thought I should go.
Speaker 2: To his house and burn it down. It's like, I'll
show it's wrong with and honestly, well, I hear, no problem.
I go to his house, turn the oven on, walk
out the door. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I just was like, yeah, no, I'm a threat
to society if I have these.
Speaker 2: Hormones and the with the I U D.
Speaker 1: I get what I call my phantom period where my
tits get big and I get sassy, but.
Speaker 2: I don't bleed.
Speaker 1: I just know it like would be my period if
I didn't have a Tesla logo inside of me.
Speaker 3: Right, and you do, and you do have the Tesla
logo in use, and I do and I do. Wow,
I can't do it, dude, I'll never get it. I'll
never do it. You never have never have, is it?
Like why it's the I D specifically because it's a fear.
It's a fear of the uh, the the dilating. I
like can't. I'm just like, yeah, yeah, I can't do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's very painful to get in. You almost can't feel
it when it comes out. Very painful to get it.
Absolutely not like the way they're like, you're gonna feel
a little pinch and then it feels like you just
got shot in the abdomen, and I'm like, absolutely, a
little fucking I should call the.
Speaker 2: Police on you guy. You guys should be in jail
right now.
Speaker 3: You should be in jail.
Speaker 1: You should you should be in jail, And like, how
dare you call it a little pinch? That's like when
you're getting have you ever gotten laser hair removal?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Okay, well it would.
Speaker 1: Hurt on you because you have dark hair, but like
even anyone their hair color. In the very beginning, when
it starts, they're like, it's gonna be like little rubber
band steps. You feel it in your fucking spinal cord.
Speaker 2: You feel it like go all the way up your spine.
Speaker 1: I'm like this this the most painful thing in the world.
Speaker 3: Life is hard enough as a woman. Yeah, I don't
want to add one more thing. And this is and
this is the thing. Don't get we started on some
feminist fucking rant. This is the thing about that men
will never understand. Yeah, because it's like the ship we
endure and how little, how little we like do anything
about women, Like how little research there is in women's health.
Speaker 1: You know, they just started looking into us so barely.
They just started taking a peek. They're like, you know what,
all this search, all this research about sleep. They're like
people need eight hours a night. That was based on men.
It's like women need ten hours. It's like, okay, so
we're completely different. And nobody's even looked into it.
Speaker 3: Nobody's looked into it.
Speaker 2: Nobody's taken a peek.
Speaker 3: Our mental health issues are completely different. The way that
like autism affects women is completely different than it is men.
Adhd all of it. And then they go and they, oh,
we'll just put this rod in your'll be fine.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean fine, Yeah, we're gonna throw a metal
rod up your pussy.
Speaker 3: You'll be fine.
Speaker 1: You can't have our kids, do I want you to reproduce?
Speaker 2: You know what I think every man.
Speaker 1: Should have to do get like a tattoo from under
their armpit down like the side of their leg, and
then have to get it removed, because tattoo removal, I
think is the most painful thing in the world.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just think that men should have to do that.
Men should have to do it just because we have
to do everything else.
Speaker 3: That's actually not a bad idea.
Speaker 1: It's not bad because it's the only thing aside from
dissolving lip and filler. Dissolving filler lip filler have you
ever done?
Speaker 3: You a million times? And you know what it does
not And I'm not even saying this to be like,
I don't know. It doesn't affect me. It's not that bad.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you're I don't know why. Yeah.
Speaker 1: For me, it was removing tattoos and dissolving lip fillers,
where I'm like, this should be a torture tactic for war.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it made me.
Speaker 1: You know, when your eyes are you're crying, but it's
like you're not emotionally crying, you're just Yeah, it was
the worst thing in the world.
Speaker 3: Do you a filler right now?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yours looks good. Yeah? Mine, because I you
know how I went so crazy when I got it.
Speaker 2: Oh baby, do I remember?
Speaker 3: Yeah? So yeah, yeah, when I was like in my
cartoonishly insane phase, it like, well.
Speaker 1: I'm also the one who told you to get lip filler.
Speaker 3: Remember did you tell me to get lift? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I told you should get your little and probably right
after that podcast, I said you should probably get lip
filler and get sober, and you did both and then
you did too much of one.
Speaker 3: And then I did too much of one and then
I relapsed. Yeah, it's too much miller than relox. But
because I got so much so fast, it like stretched
my shit out and now I just have like, no
matter how much I dissolve, there's still like a pocket
up here that will not fucking go away. And so
whenever I get filler now it like goes right back
up into that area and it really ooh, it makes
me mad.
Speaker 2: To go to my girl.
Speaker 1: I always train sending to my people, and you're like,
you know, I'm gonna get a group ud like, well,
they I think they look good.
Speaker 2: Now, they look great, they're fine.
Speaker 1: Now everything on your face looks perfect.
Speaker 2: Don't touch it.
Speaker 3: I do kind of want some botox in Okay, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Got a lot of movement, right, But it's kind of
nice to be able to emote, because when you're flat
and you're not doing anything, you don't have lines. So
it is nice, especially as a comedian and somebody who
wants to act, to be able to.
Speaker 2: Move your face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because every time I get botox, I tell her
like make sure I can still look mad.
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, yeah, and I always go get rid
of all of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, freeze me.
Speaker 3: It is. I do feel how it is, like how
it's affecting my face, Like I feel like I don't
emote as much anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But do you think part of that is because
you're just becoming an apathetic person?
Speaker 2: Possibly?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we like lose the will to give
a fuck, and then like it's like between botox and
then just like the overstimulation of like the world being
too much. I think I can't. I can't muster a fuck.
Speaker 3: It's not in I can't.
Speaker 1: I went through all these beauty torture things you girls
have described, I wouldn't have the will for anything either, honestly,
That's and that's what I'm saying, Like it's so painful
that I'm just like if I'm gonna sit there while
somebody puts a what is.
Speaker 2: That long needle?
Speaker 3: A candle?
Speaker 2: A needle in my face? To look?
Speaker 1: You know, I go in and I look, can you
pull up a candle? A needle?
Speaker 2: C A N D U L.
Speaker 3: What's that for?
Speaker 2: It's for sculpture, it's for filler, it's for but.
Speaker 1: A candle A needle is fucking it's I'm like, I'm
gonna go through this.
Speaker 2: To look six days younger.
Speaker 3: I've never had school trup, but I have had face filler.
Speaker 1: Sculpture is okay. Candala is the long one.
Speaker 2: That they go, yeah, I've had can you do a
Candela video? Because they like go all in. My sister.
Speaker 1: So after my dad had his open heart surgery, so
my sister was Me and my sister were both there
for everything, and my sister was in the room with
him like she has a stomach for shit, like she can.
Like I had to leave, like and they had to
like pull the tubes out of his chest. I was like,
fucking get me out of here. No, no, I can't
do it. My sister was there, she watched everything. She's
like very curious. She's a scientist. She wants to know stuff.
So in the same trip, we went down to my
plastic surgeon friend in Chicago, Eric Anderson, who's a genius,
and I love it.
Speaker 3: I really want to go to it when I get tits. Yes,
I will go to You have to go to him.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's like gonna give him to you for
next to free.
Speaker 2: I know you don't have the next to free.
Speaker 3: No I do, but it's not for tits. Yeah, that's
the thing. Yes, Like, but I still, I mean, I
still could I have. I'm doing okay right now. But
my other thing is is like I'm also just low
key afraid. I'm afraid of getting I've never had plastic surgery,
and I'm afraid of it a little bit.
Speaker 2: I validate that fear.
Speaker 1: I feel the same way because I have been going
back and forth like I want a boob job, and
then then I land on I think I'm just bored
and I don't actually want, you know what I mean.
I'm like, I look at Brianna chicken Fry and her
big fake tits and how good they look, and I'm
just like, oh, she looks so good. It makes your
waist look smaller, it makes everything. But then okay, here's
the candla. Yeah, it's a big it's a big fucking meal.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So it's like that girl has to hold like a
little vibrator on her chin so she can't feel like
this going anyway.
Speaker 2: You can get the gist.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, But I go back and forth and I'm like,
do I want boobs? Don't I want boobs? And when
I ask my boyfriend, he's like, you don't need them.
Speaker 3: You don't because you do have good tits.
Speaker 1: I do, but I'm like, I want them bigger, you know.
But I also don't want scars. It's a whole it's
a whole thing. But anyway, we went to Eric to
get my sister had really bad malasma and has never
really you know, taken care of her skin. And I
was like, let's go get a CO two laser, let's
get you some botox, let's like fix her up a
little bit. Yeah, And we took her in and she
did her thing, and then while I was doing my thing,
he did sculpture and my sister was sitting there watching
everything and she gagged when she's how the candle, She's
like and I was like, you just watched tubes get
pulled out of dad's chest and she's like that was
so much more disgusting because you could see the needle
like poking through the skin. Through the skin, yeah, like
different marks moving around under the skin.
Speaker 2: She's like, that is fucking disgusting.
Speaker 1: But I have to show you the before and after
for doctor Eric with my sister because it is Please.
Speaker 3: I love before and afters.
Speaker 1: It's done real, so I'll post it in on the
video too.
Speaker 3: She had really bad malasma. Was it one treatment?
Speaker 2: Yes, look at this bitch.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's wild. That's wild.
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 3: What did she Okay? So what did she get done?
Speaker 1: She did a CO two laser and like a little
bit about tox.
Speaker 2: That's it. Her looks like a different person.
Speaker 3: It like brought her face up.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well because the CO two laser, I mean it gets
rid of all of your you know, it's a it's
a very invasive laser and it gets rid of everything.
So it's like it it makes your body naturally produce
more collagen, which is naturally going to like tighten everything.
Speaker 3: And make it like that session one session.
Speaker 1: She doesn't have to like it's an intense laser, like
if you were to go get it in La. It's
like an eight thousand dollars laser. Whoa, he can just
do it for?
Speaker 3: Like is that much?
Speaker 1: It's I think it's pretty fucking unless it's dropped. Mike,
can you check the cost of a CO two laser?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 3: Oh? Fuck?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 3: Is it a kind that like makes you peel for
like months and months?
Speaker 2: Not months? Okay?
Speaker 1: So yes, if you get the intense version of it.
We got like that, Okay. It takes like a week
to heal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, five thousand to nine thousand off.
Speaker 2: So there's two different settings.
Speaker 1: We did the lowest setting, which means your face looks
like hamburger for like three days and then it.
Speaker 2: Takes like about a full week to heal.
Speaker 1: There's another setting for if you're older, you know, or
if you have a ton of damage where it like
flocks you up, and that one takes like a month
to heal. But then afterwards you look like a baby.
Like my friend's mom got it and she was beautiful.
I mean, she like, you know, did upkeep, but she
was older. It's haaventy something, and she got it done
and when she was done she looked like she was fifty.
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: Who it's crazy that skincare is like the number one thing. Yeah,
Like I think skin like that kind of stuff is
it makes you look younger than botox and filler. Yeah,
if you're getting the right kind of skin procedures done.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well I think botox and filler too are tricky because
like unless they're done really well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they can make you look older.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And there's a trend now in celebrities whe they're all
getting their shit dissolved, dissolved because.
Speaker 2: It is it makes you look old.
Speaker 1: Well, it was also a trend to have it, you know,
it was like the BBL and filler era and now
everyone's like back to like trying to be stick thin. Yeah,
and like Kate Moss and like.
Speaker 3: Bbls are bad, They're horrible. Bbals are so bad.
Speaker 2: Did I hear it? Was it you talking about how
they smell?
Speaker 3: Maybe?
Speaker 2: But I mean I think I saw on a.
Speaker 1: Clip you were talking about how bbl's smell.
Speaker 3: It's like a thing. Yeah, I don't know if that's
actually true.
Speaker 2: But something you saw on TikTok.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I have a girl with a BBL just farting,
and you're like these smell.
Speaker 3: Yes, she's just literally sitting around sharing herself. Yeah, I
don't know. I've I've heard that they smell.
Speaker 1: A healthy BBL shouldn't inherently smell, but I guess. I mean,
if you're going to like Mexico and getting some like
bootleg doctor to do it, then like anything's gonna smell
if it's got, if.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, that's so true. Yeah, isn't that? Isn't that right?
Speaker 2: Isn't that right?
Speaker 3: You know? What I'm thinking about right now is how
like on when men do podcasts, it's like all they
do is talk about food and sports, and then we're
sitting there it's like always talk about is like injections
and which I fucking love, which to me is like
the most interesting conversation in the world. I love talking
about I love talking about procedures and medication. Those are
my two favorite things.
Speaker 2: We hit them both.
Speaker 3: We hit them both.
Speaker 2: So the podcast is over.
Speaker 3: So is over.
Speaker 2: It's time for just to rap it.
Speaker 3: So you're only on lexapro.
Speaker 2: I'm only on lexapro five milligrams.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I truly I've said it before on
the I cannot believe how different I feel.
Speaker 3: You were resistant for so long to getting medicaidd.
Speaker 1: Unbelievably resistant because I was so sure that I could
journal my way out of it, or I could walk
ten thousand steps, or I could look stare straight into
the sun.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, no, like we are on this
like we're supposed to be on this earth. We're not
supposed to be miserable here, like the way that like
the consumerism of the world has made us all miserable.
And it's just that I just need to go touch grass.
And I'm like, I live on Olympic Boulevard in Los Angeles.
I know there's not enough grass I could touch.
Speaker 3: I could and the grass that you could touch is
asbestos and dog shit.
Speaker 2: It's like exactly.
Speaker 3: And that's the thing, is like I get the argument for,
you know, being anti medication and being like there we
can holistically heal ourselves to an extent. I believe that's true,
but not in the conditions that we live in, not
in especially in the United States.
Speaker 1: And I think it's so interesting too, because I was
so like, I don't want to be on drugs, And
one time my therapist just said to me and like
thank God for her and her brutal honesty. But I
was just like, I just don't want to be somebody
who's on drugs every day, Like I don't.
Speaker 3: Want, you know.
Speaker 2: And she's like, and what were you in your.
Speaker 1: Twenties, dead ass? And I was like, I was on
molly though, that's like fun, that's a fun one that's
like that easy, like fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So she's like, okay, She's.
Speaker 1: Like, you have needed drugs to be alive since you
were fifteen, yeah, and she's like they just weren't legal,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, well, now that.
Speaker 1: You say that, no, but I really didn't think and
like people get sick of me talking about it on
this podcast because I think it's tough.
Speaker 2: People that have.
Speaker 1: Never considered taking their own life think it's like a
really dark thing to hear, and I don't want to
like jam it down everyone's throat.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding you.
Speaker 1: When I woke up in the morning, it was my
first thought every day since the day I got sober.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The only time I didn't have those thoughts prior to
that was because I was self medicating, right, drugs and alcohol.
But every day since I got sober, it was my
first thought, and it was a thought I had pervasively
throughout the day. It never went away, and I just
thought it was like my personality. I was like, ooh,
I'm just like that's what I think about. And then
I got on Lexapro and I'm like, oh my god.
People are out here living like this, Yeah, just like
not thinking about it and just going about their lives
and having kind of a good time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 3: It's crazy to me when I meet people who have
never had a suicidal thought, people who are like, I'm like,
are you paying attention? Are you paying? Have you what?
And I'm so jealous of that. Like my best friend Bis, Yeah,
she's like that. She's somebody who's just is like, doesn't
struggle with mental health stuff. I mean, she's like in
her own ways, has her own shit, but she's like
not somebody that I would say needs to be medicated. Yeah,
And she doesn't have that kind of she just doesn't
have a like morbid like cynicism.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, it's it blows me away.
Speaker 1: It's it's nice. It's like a refreshing perspective. It's funny
because I do this crowd work at my shows. Now
when I'm talking about it because it is a tough
thing to get into. And I'm like, I want to
know who here hasn't thought about it. Yeah, And I
was in Seattle a couple of days ago and this
guy was like, I haven't. And I was like, what
do you do for work? He's like, I'm an analyst,
and I'm like, what do you analyze? He's like transportation
And I'm like, okay, tell me about that and he's
like it's really boring. And I'm like, right, so, how
have you never once thought about Like I'm analyzing the
speed of a train.
Speaker 2: I would if I jumped in front of it.
Speaker 1: I like, first thought, first thought, first, last, closing. That
would be all the thoughts I had. He's just like
I just I had, Like it's crazy. You can have
a monotonous job. You can have an uh you know.
And I'm not saying this to shade people a generally
uninteresting life, yeah, and still be enjoying it.
Speaker 2: And what a gift?
Speaker 3: What a gift? A gift? It really it's it's it's
a brain chemistry thing. Yeah, it's just that you have because.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you look at us in our lives and
we're so fortunate to do the jobs we do, yeah,
and be surrounded with the people we're surrounded with, and
you know, then we go home at night after you know,
performing to like huge crowds and bringing people joy, and
were like, should we add it?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Should I should just do it tonight? Yeah? I know,
I truly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's a shame and I'm but do you
feel like your medicine's working now?
Speaker 3: Yeah? But I still have you know, I still definitely
struggle with depression. Yeah, I definitely struggle with like low
self worth, which I mean also I can't rely on
medication to fix that. You know. It's like it does
help like quiet, Yeah, the loudness of it, but there's
still in the edges softens the edges. But I mean
I still have I still struggle with it. Yeah, breaking
through that, like I like, breaking through the low self
esteem is I have not figured out how to do
that yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's it's a life's work, it really, Yeah, And you
know it, I think a lot of the negative self
talk too, comes from we're gonna if we go down
the you know, rabbit hole. It's a parenting thing, and
then like you know, it's like and it's not to
say that my parents didn't love me and like weren't
completely attentive parents, but like, my mom is really struggles
with her own mental health and she is like a
lot of negative self talk. And when you grow up
with a mom who's like negative self talking herself and
then like you hear that and then she's doing it
to me, but like not but subconsciously you know, she's not.
My mom was never like you, you're a piece of
shit who's not worth anything. It was more of the
way that she talked about herself and life. And then me,
I remember, God, I remember being like so young and
my mom's saying things like well, I could just end
it all and that could be that so and I
was just like, what the what the fuck is wrong
with you? Why are you saying that to a nine
year old you know? And she'd be like, that's life. Yeah,
that's life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My mom would always say that too. She's like, well,
you're gonna miss me when I'm gone, yeah, and I.
Speaker 2: Might take myself out of the game.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, what game?
Speaker 3: Well game, okay, what do we put Your mom stood on?
Business ten toos down? My mom is still my.
Speaker 1: Mom still doesn't imagine her suicide not just said I
and I took myself out of the game. I told
you it said sorry for the mess, which I think
is funnier.
Speaker 3: That is pretty funny.
Speaker 2: That's wild. That's why the funny thing is. I know
she was just.
Speaker 5: Talking about like the physical mess, yeah, of like having
to remove a body.
Speaker 2: She wasn't talking about the emotional mess.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like side with a heart with crazy hair.
Speaker 5: It was like love mode in a gel pen a
sparkly there's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 3: It's uh. I don't know, I think and I'm sure,
like you said, you probably talk about this a lot.
But people when I hear people say like, oh, suicide
is is so like such a cowardly thing to do,
I think like, no, it's not. And I'll tell you
I don't think the way that. The reason I don't
think it is is because death is so scary and
to be like that, fuck it, I'll just.
Speaker 1: Do it, Like you think, why do you think it's
scary death?
Speaker 3: I personally, I personally don't think it's that scary. But
the idea of just like being like yeah.
Speaker 2: I'll just fucking yeah, you get out of here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like that's so crazy, Like dang shit, yeah, are
you kidding me? I'm like somebody who's like so depressed.
But still if I like, I wouldn't be able to
fucking jump off a bridge or you know whatever, because
like that, to me, it's like the act of doing
it would take kind of a strong person. Yeah, you know,
somebody's just like yeah, I'm good to go. Yeah, that
takes like I don't know, maybe that's a controversial take,
but I'm like, that's.
Speaker 1: I think it is a controversial take, but it's something
that I think too. I'm like, I think it's fucking
gang shit to like get the book out of here.
I also think it's like it's not gang shit.
Speaker 2: Because it's deep, deep, deep deep depression that like.
Speaker 1: Don't understand yet. Yeah, because we're not there. But have
you ever read the book Journey of Souls?
Speaker 3: No, but I have it, and I hear people don't.
Speaker 2: I know, and I've read it.
Speaker 3: I've heard it's it's a life changing book.
Speaker 2: It's a life changing book.
Speaker 1: And if anyone thinks death is scary, you'll read that
book and kind of be excited for it. Yeah, I'll
be like, oh, this is going to be lit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know I have it. I've been meaning to. Well, dude,
it's like that's what's so funny to me about religion
is that like they're so like, really religious people are
so obsessed with death. You know, they're like, this is
just the temporary. We're just doing this to go live
in God's case.
Speaker 1: But I think the difference with religion and what might
be what really happens. And religious people are gonna get
mad for me saying this, but like religious people use
their religion to dictate how you're supposed to live here
in order to get to a place that's peaceful. And
here's the truth, I mean from the book and what
you know, whether or not people want to admit that's true.
But like if you do abhorrent shit while you're here,
and some of this is rooted in like the Ten Commandments,
like if you kill somebody, if you abuse miners, if
you rite people, like if.
Speaker 2: You do horrible shit.
Speaker 1: The way that the book talks about it is that
like you don't get to just go to the light
and be with your family and friends. You don't get
to go like hang out with your loved ones and
like look back at your life and be like, oh,
like what did.
Speaker 2: I do wrong? What did I do right?
Speaker 1: Like, you don't get to have that, You do get
put into a darker place that's more like a purgatory
or how like biblically purgatory would be described, which is
like you have to sit here, and if you were
bad enough on earth, like Jeffrey Dahmer or somebody who
like was saying yes, like serial rapist, serial murderers, like
their soul is then in some capacity deemed unfit to
ever reincarnate. So like the soul's purpose, the soul's purpose
is to keep reincarnating, to keep growing. And so the
idea is that every time you reincarnate, your soul before
you got here picked everything about your life, which is
so wild crazy, like you picked your parents, you picked
where you were going to live, you picked the hardships
that you were going to have so that your soul
could evolve. I know, it's like we fucking picked this.
I would pick it again, but it's like you did
pick these things to grow in the way you need
to grow, so that when you do pass, you get
to then like look back and be like, did I
learn the lessons I was supposed to learn or didn't die,
and whether or not you did decides whether or not
your soul evolves to the next level and the last
level of not reincarnation. The last level of the soul
is to not have to do it again. But like,
you keep coming back until you learn the lessons you're
supposed to learn, and when you're done, you are you know,
you kind of meet with like I think they call
them soul guides in the book, I can't remember, but
you meet with them. You look back at your life
and you're like, how did I do you know, like
did I did I navigate that right? Did I do
the things I was supposed to do? And then you
get to go be with your soul group and then
you get to decide again when you are ready to reincarnate.
But like, if you're horrible, that's it, Like you got
you got your chance.
Speaker 2: You have to sit and fucking this horrible dark place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, because okay with that being with that being said,
then like a like a hit like Hitler, were you
was he? You know? It goes then I'm like, then
were you something before all of that? Like were you
were you coming back? You know before? And then you
chose that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I don't I know, you know, I'm like,
would you ever reincarnate?
Speaker 3: Knowing?
Speaker 2: But that I think that's part of it.
Speaker 1: It's like the did the the soul's decision? Like you
do get to make a choice how you live. I
don't know that, you know what I mean, I don't know.
I'm not up there running the show. But like it's
like did he because it's like he had a choice,
Like when he got rejected from art school three.
Speaker 3: Times, he had a choice to be like.
Speaker 2: Or am I gonna just try one more time to
get into art school?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That's a crazy thing.
Speaker 1: Like that was really the thing that kicked him into
his like political journey. Was like he kept fucking trying
to get into art school and they're.
Speaker 3: Like no, no, no, he wasn't even that bad of
an artist.
Speaker 1: He wasn't that bad of an artist, and it's just
can you imagine?
Speaker 3: No, I can't imagine. Then he like joined the army
and he got all excited and he was like, oh,
this is what it's like to have power.
Speaker 1: But he started from like the bottom of the bottom
and like really maneuvered his way.
Speaker 3: Up and just like, yeah, did he choose that did.
Speaker 1: Right, And so it's like whether or not he knew
when he was coming back down as that incarnation, if
he was going to do that when he died, that's
it right, you know, Like you then do not get
a pass.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like an empty You're like a husky, like
a husk of a soul.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to, like, we are supposed to be of
service to other people. That's our whole point being here
is to to be of service and to grow. And
he didn't do a great job of either.
Speaker 3: He sure didn't.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 3: I follow the I follow this this woman on is.
Speaker 2: This his art? See, it's like I would let him
into school.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I let him in to school. You kidd especial
you know he was going to commit.
Speaker 2: Man, this is not bad.
Speaker 3: It's not bad.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's this is what happens when you squash,
when you squash and streams.
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen to artists because they'll start doing some crazy ship.
Speaker 2: Dude, this is honestly.
Speaker 3: I couldn't do that.
Speaker 2: I couldn't do that, and you're an artist.
Speaker 3: I'm an actual artist. Yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 2: Just start decorating the podcast studio.
Speaker 3: With the Yeah, I followed this woman on her name,
what is her name, Cindy Lou who cindylu who Cindy
at Rowan Tree Groves or something on TikTok. But she's
like a psychic medium and she does all of these,
you know, she calls them peaks where she'll like peek
in to a deceased person's where they wherever they are.
And she did one on Hitler and she was like, so,
I you know, I did this peak and it she
was like, it's it was as if he was surrounded
by shattered glass and you don't see him, but there's
like an essence of him. And what he communicated to
me was like I'm not I'm not Hitler, but I'm
the essence of what was, and I don't exist anywhere anymore.
It's just kind of yeah, yeah, it's like what you're describing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's like the soul doesn't get to keep going.
It stays somewhere, so it doesn't like come back. Yeah,
but it's like you get the chance to grow in
the way you're supposed to, and then if you Hitler.
Speaker 3: Out, you Hitler out.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 3: She did one on was it not? John Wayne Gacy obsessed,
obsess obsessed.
Speaker 1: Okay, And here's the writing theory I have between John
Wayne Gacy and Dahmer and some of these other serial killers,
if we could have just not been so homophobic, right,
I think, because they're just closeted gay men. And it's
the velvet rage of being Like have you ever read
the book The Velvet Rage? No very interesting book to read.
It's about how much rage builds inside of it's specifically
men raised in a world that's told that being gay
is wrong and so it's like this internal battle with
yourself that you don't know. And the reason I was
introduced to it was because Kenny, my gay bestie, when
he was still in the just coming out of the closet,
like we were friends from the transition to like him
coming out of the closet, he had a ton of rage, yeah,
and he would like get drunk and like throw shit
and like be so angry and violent, and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: And then he showed me that book and he's like,
try and understand that, like there's like violence inside of
me because I've been told my whole life that like
I'm not supposed to be this way and I am
this way, and so I think that kind of is
why we see so many gay serial killers, including Ed Green.
Speaker 3: That's whoy I was Ed Gan.
Speaker 1: Ed Gen, Jeffrey Dahmer, so Wisconsin guys, and John Wayne Gacy.
These are all guys that are like a forty No,
they're like an hour and a half drive from each other.
Like if you go like this up and down Wisconsin
and Illinois, they're like right there and it's like this
like really homophobic part of the country. Yeah, that's been
like it doesn't you cannot be fucking gay.
Speaker 3: And Gan wasn't gay?
Speaker 2: Was he?
Speaker 3: Gan was just he was a sexual, weird schizophrenic.
Speaker 1: Well, he was a sexual deviant though, because he was
like I would say maybe like an early version of
a cross dresser because he is like dressed in his
mom's clothes and then he like obviously made masks out
of women's faces and like tried to be like he
was the most.
Speaker 2: Extreme cross dresser.
Speaker 3: But he had that weird thing because like the mom
was just like this radical catholic. Was she Catholic? Yeah?
She was just like so abusive and like just hated him,
hated that he was a boy. She thought boys were,
you know, just like disgustings and well and she's not wrong,
but she's right, she's right. She had a point. She
and he she this woman did a read on him,
and I guess what came through was like he was like,
I just want to be forgotten. And the only reason
that I'm like that I can cut there's like an
essence of me left is because people keep calling on me.
It's like every time somebody thinks of me.
Speaker 1: Well, Ryan Murphy's not doing any of these people favors,
sure isn't, but digging it all up and it's like
reigniting the fascination because it's like ed Gan, like I
always knew about Ed Gean growing up, and Jeffrey Dahmer
because they were literally Jeffrey Dahmer was twenty minutes away
from my house, so crazy they had punched Jeffrey Dower.
Speaker 3: I know, that's so crazy.
Speaker 1: That's like whatever a Gean was like an hour and
a half north. So it's like we always had like
these stories of these killers. But that's kind of it.
And then all of a sudden, Ryan Murphy just blew
the fucking lid off of it, and it's like then
the number of people that have gone to Milwaukee to
do what's it called when it's tourists for like dead people,
There's there's some word for it. But like all these
people started showing up at Jeffrey Dahmer's, we call it
in Milwaukee, we call it the slaughter lot because it's
like where his building was.
Speaker 3: But they took it down.
Speaker 1: They took it down and they never rebuilt on it,
and so we just we called called it the slaughter
lot at Marquette too, because it was like two cart
wheels Awa from Marquette.
Speaker 2: They're like, don't go over there.
Speaker 1: It's like spooky vibe, dark tourism, yeah, is what it's called.
Speaker 2: But the same thing happened when the.
Speaker 1: When Ryan Murphy did the Brothers in Beverly Hills, so
were their names the menandas Brothers. So I live really
close to there, and I was just, oh, really very close.
Speaker 3: I've always wondered where that house was.
Speaker 1: It's right on Elm. It's like I think it's seven
seven seven Elm or four seven seven Elms something like that.
It's very close to me. So I would go on
these night walks where I would walk all around the neighborhoods,
and I was like, Oh, I'm just gonna go buy
and see it and thinking like I'm gonna be the
only person who has this idea. But it was right
after the show came out. There was like fifty people.
The police were there. They're like, you need to leave.
The house is like I thought it would still be
kept like well kept.
Speaker 2: For some reason.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's owned by like a Saudi family that
is just laundering money pretty much like they put their
money in. They bought the house a few years ago
to like I think they're Saudi or the their Middle
Eastern of some sort, just to like move money, yeah,
and hold it.
Speaker 2: But it's like it has.
Speaker 1: Like a silver chain link fence out front.
Speaker 2: It's like completely run down.
Speaker 3: Nobody lives there.
Speaker 2: Nobody lives there.
Speaker 1: And there was like all these people outside taking pictures
and like looking and I'm just like, yeah, this is
so crazy. People are just like so fascinated with where
horrific shit went down. And it's it's a weird thing
about our culture, like we're obsessed with death, but we're
also so afraid of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's the thing because we like try to
kind of make sense of it, like figure it out,
and it's like, yeah, the morbid curiosity of like if
I figure if I if I figure it out, then
maybe it won't be as scary or like it's you know,
it's also like anthropological to like think about what goes
on through these you know, yeah, what makes what drives
people to do the things that they do.
Speaker 2: It's also interesting, you know.
Speaker 1: I remember when that series came out, it got a
lot of attention, and I think Kim Kardashian got involved
in like trying to get hardened and and I'm interested
in what your take is on this because like, obviously
the dad was violently abusing both of them. The older
one got less abuse, the younger one got a fucking ton,
but you you still can't kill your parents, Like what
is your take on that, because I'm just like, is
death the appropriate reaction to that kind of abuse?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know, it's a hard one. I mean,
the guy was a monster. He was also you know,
abusing because he was the manager of that this that
band Manudo, and he there were a couple of cases
of the there's a young boy in the band who
was also sexually abused by him. This guy was a monster. Yeah. No,
it's like, I don't know, do I murdering your parents?
The answer? No, But I understand here's the thing. No,
but no, but I understand like the dry like you're
so tortured by these people, and it's like we also
have these you know, animal brains, and it's like, I
think the wires get crossed and when you're in a
lot of pain and you like need to do something
about it, it's like your instinct is to take it
out on the person that caused you the pain. Right, So,
do I think it's you know, morally sound? No? Do
I think that? Do I blame them for doing it? Also? No?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: I think it's It's an interesting thing because I think
what the that case being dug up again brought light
to an issue that wasn't talked about when.
Speaker 2: They got convicted.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think sexual abuse within family systems is something that
gets ignored and to a point that it's like it
is not sexual abuse, but I think any abuse of
a child, whether it's physical or sexual, is what's wrong
with the fabric of our society because like you fast
forward all of that, you look, you look at every
person who's mentally ill in any capacity and you say, well,
what happened when you were a kid, because that's it.
It's like, okay, but but how.
Speaker 2: Do we punish the people that are.
Speaker 1: Ruining our families larger than our families, ruining our society.
Speaker 3: Right, because it bleeds into society, it.
Speaker 1: Bleeds into everything. And I'm like, it's such a huge issue,
and I was just like so grateful that when that
came out it brought light to that conversation where it's like,
do they deserve to be free? I don't know, but.
Speaker 2: Kind of, And I just like, I'm just like, I
don't know.
Speaker 1: They got sexually abused by their father their entire life.
Speaker 3: They did something, the.
Speaker 1: Mom did nothing. They've now been in jail for twenty
something years.
Speaker 3: It's like, give they're gonna die in jail.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, give them a chance to go out
and make a difference and talk about this stuff and
talk about how like how I handled this was not right,
But this fucking issue needs to be handled like as
a society, we do need to open this conversation up
because I mean, like, even in my family, I'm like,
the abuse that happened in my family system ruined my family,
Like the complete fabric of our family was ruined from
a ripple effective abuse. Yes, and and even my family
doesn't want to acknowledge that. And I'm just like, it's
such an interesting thing because there's so much shame within
family systems. They always, not always, but often protect protect
the abuser because of the denial, because they're like, we
don't want the narrative to belong to our family.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's too painful to acknowledge that somebody that you're
related to could commit such a heinous act, especially on
a child. It's too painful to look at. So it's
like no, no, no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no.
Speaker 1: No, not my dad, not my grandpa, not my right.
Speaker 3: But then if you were to ask your family what
they I'm sure if you ask somebody in your family
what they thought about, you know, child molesters, what they
should do them, they'd be like fucking lock them up,
kill them, you know. And it's like it's kind of like.
Speaker 1: It's not the same parallel, but it's kind of like cheating.
It's like, if you ask somebody, what do you think
of cheating? Everyone's gonna say it's fucking awful. You shouldn't
do it, you should never do it.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: Then, when a person cheats and you talk to them
about that, they're like, well it was it was, you know,
they like have excuses for it, they have reasons around it.
Where I'm like, it's this weird thing where we can
look in point at behavior and be like that's bad.
But if it gets too close to us, we then
like have to like protect ourselves or our own image
or something, you know what I mean. Like I'm not
including myself and somebody who's defending child monsters or cheating,
but I'm just saying like it like when it gets
too close, people then like change the narrative.
Speaker 2: Right, It's such a strange human behavior.
Speaker 3: It really, is it? Because it would it. I think
what's so difficult about acknowledging things that are close to
you is that it rocks like your core beliefs about yourself, right,
which is so if you know when your core is rocked,
then it's like, well then who am I?
Speaker 2: Who am I?
Speaker 1: You know, I've been living this whole life thinking this
one thing, and now I have these facts that something
else might have happened, and I don't like those facts,
and so it's easier for me to dissociate and deny
those facts, which might be that like you have an
abusive person in your family system than it is to
take that in and incorporate that into your story.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And I think that you're right with like
with it. In a case like the Menanda's brothers, what
is so important about them would be sharing that story? Yeah,
Because there are plenty of criminals or people who have
you know, gone to prison for whatever, murder and blah
blah blah, who get out and like are like functioning
members of society and they go on these like you know,
they start going to colleges and having these you know,
talks and dah da da, and they become like speakers.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think speakers, especially within like the day
and age of social media and like how widely things
get shared. I'm like, it would be really beneficial for
them to be out in the world sharing their story
one hundred percent and not only them like anyone else
who's been through something similar. Obviously, people aren't like killing
their parents because they've been abused, But I think, you know,
I think it's just like it's a tricky thing to
talk about because it needs to be talked about, but
I thin think it's so triggering, and people that have
experienced that kind of abuse don't want to hear it
because they don't want to relive it. And then people
that haven't experienced it, they're like, well that doesn't apply
to me. So it's a tricky. It's a tricky thing
to navigate. And I don't think like in our lifetime
we're going to see an answer to it. But it's
I'm glad the conversation is getting started at least.
Speaker 3: Oh it's interesting too that people like the Menanda's brothers
ended up, you know, life behind bars. But then Gypsy
Rose who killed her mom, who killed her mom? You know,
well had that guy kill her? But it's like she
was just as you know, guilty in it. Yeah, And
I don't blame Gypsy.
Speaker 2: She became like an icon.
Speaker 3: She became an icon, and everybody's turning on her because
they're like, oh, she's crazy, and it's like, what do
you think was going to happen?
Speaker 2: Of course she's crazy.
Speaker 3: Of course she's.
Speaker 1: Crazy, But didn't her mom have muchasen by proxy? Did
you ever watch sharp Objects on HBO.
Speaker 3: No, oh god, you.
Speaker 1: Have to watch it, okay, oh Muonchazen by proxy is crazy.
My mom had slight Moonschausen, but not like full blown
like she would. She liked to invent problems so we
could get attention. She said, I had a broken blood
vessel on my leg literally because I fell, and she
like convinced the doctor it's cancer. And now it's like
the only scar I have on my body because she
got it removed a wild She told me, I mean
I do have slight scoliosis, like the tiniest amount of scoliosis.
Speaker 2: She made me wear a back brace in middle school.
Speaker 3: And then she was like, and then you have brain cancer. Yeah,
So in a case like Gypsies, you go, yeah, what
did you think was gonna happen with the girl? She
was fucking she was wheelchair bound and told that she
had leukemia her entire life. I don't know if it was,
but you know, like the mom tortured her and now
she's out in society and people are like, she's not
a good person. Who actually we're realizing and it's like, yeah, also,
what do you fucking know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, who's a good person?
Speaker 1: I don't know? One. Yeah, I literally don't know what
even mother Teresa. People are like, she's no, she's not,
she fucking she was literally the home she was running
were criminal, like the people would be dying and she'd
be like, here's Adville.
Speaker 3: I think that the only person I can think of
who is probably the closest thing to an earth angel.
Speaker 2: Was mister Rogers. He seems sweet, he.
Speaker 3: Seems like maybe the only one.
Speaker 2: But again, who knows, who knows, who knows what he
was up to.
Speaker 3: Who knows what kind of weird extremist believes he held down?
Speaker 2: Who knows?
Speaker 3: But maybe he didn't. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll never know.
Speaker 3: We'll never know, never know.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing about people. I don't think people
are good and bad. I think we have this conversation
with ourselves.
Speaker 2: Where we're like, I'm a good person.
Speaker 1: I'm a good person, right, And I'm like, I'm objectively
not great. Yeah, I'm like, if you look at the
things I've done, I'm not good.
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm not.
Speaker 1: I do my best, but I'm not good. I think
we all have this belief. I think we have to
tell ourselves we're good people, or we're right, or we're
just yeah, to keep ourselves going. But I'm like, I
don't think if you look at our actions on paper,
I don't think we're great.
Speaker 3: No, totally. And it's also you know, it's it's one
of those things too, of like what is what is
morally just behavior? Because you know it can be argued
too that like murder isn't bad and that's like another take.
I don't believe that, but like that is an argument
right that people have of like well, who who are
we to say that? Even? Like why is that?
Speaker 1: But then who gets to decide who gets murdered? You know?
It's like because the person who gets to decide can
have their own agenda. And it's like you know you
even oh, Mike, Mike's over here vapor dropping.
Speaker 2: His weas so sick of us. It's like I have
to be high to be here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think you see it politically and
across like the world globally too, where there's like atrocious
things going on and people will justifies both sides. Yeah,
and people will really believe in their core both sides
of it. And I'm like that's why I don't even
get involved them apathetic in terms of that. But I'm
just like, because people will really really decide that something
is right or wrong. I don't think any of us
have I don't think any of us get.
Speaker 2: To decide that.
Speaker 3: No, And I think you're right about that. Yeah, I
think you are right about that. And I get very
like wound. I get very wound, and I get very
into my like, well, this is what I believe is right,
and this is what I believe is just. But I'm
sure you know, like, also, what the fuck do I know?
Speaker 2: Really? What the fuck do you know?
Speaker 3: What the fuck do I know? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But I mean it's like, you do your research and
you make your decisions and you stand on them, and
I appreciate that. I appreciate you having a point of view.
I can't be bothered to have one. I'm just like,
there's too much. I'm like literally like la la la
la la la la la.
Speaker 2: Yeah you can't cause it makes me.
Speaker 1: I like, see people get stressed. You get stressed, like
you get it.
Speaker 3: Burns you out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get And I'm just like, I can't give
my life led to something that I ultimately can't change
right now. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's an interesting thing.
Speaker 1: It's like what is what's more important? Loyalty or justice? Yeah,
because I think people can be loyal to you know,
a religion or a belief system or what I but
then they ignore the fact that what that system is
doing is not just or it's not humane, and they
are so blindly loyal to what they believe that they
don't have the capacity to look at it through the
lens of is this what we're supposed to be doing?
Speaker 3: Because it goes back to that thing of like if
they did and it wasn't what they thought were they?
Then who are they? So then then comes the unraveling
of like, wait, I believed that I believed in this
thing my whole life, and this isn't what I thought
it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're just like I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: People need things to they need to cling to beliefs,
and it's I don't know if that's you know, right
or wrong. I just think it is what it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think it's human in nature. Yeah, Mike,
where are we.
Speaker 3: At one of the three?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 3: What the hell was.
Speaker 2: A philosophy lesson?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What the what the fuck was that?
Speaker 5: It's funny for like five minutes and then we just
like got into the deep is.
Speaker 3: Shit and people were going to comment on this being
like everything they said was actually.
Speaker 2: Wrong and dark's stupid.
Speaker 3: So I had these conversations when I was thirteen and high.
Speaker 1: Okay, we do have to do word of the week
before we get out of here.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Everything, It's my favorite thing in the world.
Speaker 3: I'm excited for that.
Speaker 1: Are you would you consider yourself a vocab slut?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, see, you're like you're you're a niche smart in
some areas, you're like weirdly good with history.
Speaker 3: Yet no I care about it. But I wouldn't say
you couldn't quiz me on something and I'd get it right.
Speaker 1: I feel like you could with the French Revolution, maybe
that you were like weirdly upset. Don't you have like
a year of the French Revolution?
Speaker 3: I do. I am obsessed with the Friends for re evolution. Okay,
I wish I was. What do you mean, Okay, before
you go, what do you mean by vocab slot?
Speaker 2: I mean like, do you know words?
Speaker 3: I see? No, and I wish I did.
Speaker 2: Okay, and I wish I did.
Speaker 1: All Right, we're gonna this word. It's easy.
Speaker 2: Do you know it? When wend w e and d wnd.
Speaker 1: It's a verb no means to go forward, to wend
one's way is to proceed along a giving course.
Speaker 3: Wow, okay, wind whend.
Speaker 2: You're gonna wind on your way, babe?
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: I've never heard of Gretel wending their way through the
forest innocently, had no idea what awaited them at the
journey's end, wending their way okay, Gabby Lamb wending her
way through.
Speaker 3: The abortion way to the abortion, wending her way through
the abortion on her way to get an abortion?
Speaker 2: Is that how you would?
Speaker 3: I've never heard that word. There you go?
Speaker 2: Wind?
Speaker 3: Wow? Did you just pick that one at random?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I did? You thought it was easy?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, I always do words that I don't know
because I'm trying to get smarter. I feel like my
brain stopped it like became calcified. It used to be
so plastic and like absorb things. And I used to
have facts in there, and I don't have a single fact,
and I have.
Speaker 2: Like four words.
Speaker 3: So to have four words, I can't string together a thought.
I can't string together a sentence. It takes I'll be
in in the middle of a thought and then I'll
forget what I was saying, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like every day, every day, and I'm not even I
have nothing to blame. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like it used
to be like, oh listen.
Speaker 2: I'm own drugs.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just like, it's just who I am, Just like,
actually who I am? Yeah, Okay, I love you so much.
Tell everyone or they can follow you.
Speaker 3: Love you so much. You can find me on I
think I'm shadow band right now, but of course all
forms of social media. Gabby Lammy g A B b
Y l A M b Y I'm on there. You'll
have to type in my full name because they want
to keep a good woman down. I love.
Speaker 1: She has a great podcast called Tea Time, Tea Time.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 1: She started during the pandemic and it was fucking brilliant
and it's still going.
Speaker 3: It's hey, and it's still we're still wending our way.
Speaker 1: And you're still wending your way through the podcast lids.
Speaker 3: Okay, still wending our way.
Speaker 1: I will say I've had some people come to my
shows being like I when you came on my last podcast,
They're like, I'm a fan of Gabby Lamb and I
now I love you.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wild.
Speaker 2: Yeah, only it was only one. I made it seem like.
Speaker 3: It was a Lotah, you made it. They were knocking
down the Yeah, okay, well that one. That's sweet.
Speaker 5: It was one person in Phoenix, Arizona, and she had
a personality disorder.
Speaker 2: That does fit your fans.
Speaker 3: Anxious.
Speaker 2: She was like talking to me over her shoulder and
like peaking. It was like the Kim Kardashian me, like
peaking through a bush. She's like, she's peak.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm a fan of Tea Time, anyway, can
tell Gaby that I that's also my cousin's girlfriend is obsessed.
Speaker 2: With you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I when I was home, lads, She's like,
she told me, like almost secretly. She's like, I submitted
a story and they read it. She's like, but I
didn't tell Cody because it was about my exploit friend.
Stop Like funny, wait, that's really cute.
Speaker 2: The Tea Time fan base goes hard. The fan base Fox.
Speaker 3: There's twelve of them and they.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of them. They ride ride till fucking dawn.
Speaker 1: All Right, I'm obsessed with you. Things for coming, Okay,
I love you. I'll never see you again because of
moving to Florida.
Speaker 3: And that's and you're wending your way through Florida, and
that's wending.
Speaker 2: And that's un wending my way across the country.
Speaker 3: And that's brothers, and out of your career and wending,
wending my way out of comedy honestly a dream and
honestly free the Menanda's brothers.
Speaker 2: Okay, bye, m
Speaker 3: M