WEBVTT

1
00:00:05.719 --> 00:00:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Seven Lamb Productions Presents, Come down here, Episode thirty five. Captain,

2
00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:30.920
<v Speaker 1>you wanted to see us?

3
00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:36.200
<v Speaker 2>No? No, just you naked on my lap? I'm kidding

4
00:00:36.679 --> 00:00:40.840
<v Speaker 2>kind of, but not really want to No. Okay, totally fine,

5
00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:43.200
<v Speaker 2>I really was kidding. Don't tell char now, come in

6
00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:46.280
<v Speaker 2>both of you time end case. Ain't at the Captain's office.

7
00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:50.399
<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure why they were called in. Is this serious?

8
00:00:51.320 --> 00:00:54.880
<v Speaker 2>Because we've been working really hard, Captain, We've even been

9
00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:57.920
<v Speaker 2>slacking on being doctors so we can be better cops.

10
00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:00.560
<v Speaker 2>That's good to hear, but you still want to find

11
00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:04.000
<v Speaker 2>ways to work a little harder. Are they made? The

12
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:06.959
<v Speaker 2>Chief was over in Japan this past weekend. Japan is

13
00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:08.840
<v Speaker 2>a country on the other side of the world. We

14
00:01:08.959 --> 00:01:10.079
<v Speaker 2>know what Japan is.

15
00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:13.640
<v Speaker 1>I own a PlayStation and I own a Hello Kitty backpack.

16
00:01:13.920 --> 00:01:15.719
<v Speaker 1>That's okay, you bought it for me.

17
00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:18.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's right. How do you like it?

18
00:01:18.120 --> 00:01:19.120
<v Speaker 1>It's a little snug.

19
00:01:19.560 --> 00:01:23.239
<v Speaker 2>Okay, don't tell JR. Well, I wasn't going to Captain.

20
00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:26.319
<v Speaker 2>Why are we here? I don't know if you're aware,

21
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:28.879
<v Speaker 2>but Japan is ahead of us in technology. I know

22
00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:32.879
<v Speaker 2>we own an Xbox too. Oh this goes higher than

23
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:35.400
<v Speaker 2>just a lack of exclusives. Japan is ahead of us

24
00:01:35.400 --> 00:01:43.359
<v Speaker 2>in preventing crime. You know why, samurais? What samuraiz? What

25
00:01:43.400 --> 00:01:45.359
<v Speaker 2>does that have to do with anything? Was that a

26
00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:49.920
<v Speaker 2>real answer? Kind of Okay? No, not Samuraiz A little

27
00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:53.359
<v Speaker 2>cute goofball you you're so cute with your little ass

28
00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:53.879
<v Speaker 2>and booty.

29
00:01:54.319 --> 00:01:55.319
<v Speaker 1>Those are the same thing.

30
00:01:55.719 --> 00:02:00.079
<v Speaker 2>Don't tell JR. Anyway. Japan has new AI driven recruits

31
00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:03.000
<v Speaker 2>that help patrol the streets. The Chief purchased one from

32
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:05.560
<v Speaker 2>the Japanese police and brought it back to the States.

33
00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:07.480
<v Speaker 2>He wants us to test it out and see how

34
00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:08.439
<v Speaker 2>it does in America Land.

35
00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:10.919
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean by AI driven recruits?

36
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:13.919
<v Speaker 2>You can look for yourself. The god done mosh too.

37
00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:14.599
<v Speaker 2>They don't.

38
00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:20.680
<v Speaker 3>Beetpoop. Hello, I am a robot policeman here to help

39
00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:24.159
<v Speaker 3>assist in preventing crimes. I am a cyber dime quarter

40
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:27.240
<v Speaker 3>machine C three PO one two beet boop.

41
00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Hell, This here is robot policeman from Japan, A robup.

42
00:02:35.159 --> 00:02:35.879
<v Speaker 2>That's gotta be right.

43
00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:38.000
<v Speaker 1>A robot though, beet boop.

44
00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:41.879
<v Speaker 3>You can call me by my program name rob ROB.

45
00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:46.240
<v Speaker 4>What's that short for Robotic Operational Biometrics.

46
00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:49.120
<v Speaker 3>No, Robert beet boop.

47
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:52.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh why does he say beet boop all the time?

48
00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:53.319
<v Speaker 2>Why are you asking me?

49
00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:54.400
<v Speaker 1>We gotta talk to it.

50
00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:56.159
<v Speaker 2>You gotta do more than just talk to it.

51
00:02:56.159 --> 00:02:57.400
<v Speaker 1>You gotta show it the ropes.

52
00:02:57.800 --> 00:03:00.439
<v Speaker 2>What chief wants to know if we can impla these

53
00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:03.080
<v Speaker 2>systems to patrol the streets. Do you want us to

54
00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:05.159
<v Speaker 2>help these things take our jobs?

55
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:08.360
<v Speaker 4>No way, Captain. I put my own gas, I go

56
00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:10.919
<v Speaker 4>to self checkout at the convenience store. I even use

57
00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:13.719
<v Speaker 4>AI to make red pictures of myself on Instagram. But

58
00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:16.240
<v Speaker 4>I'll be damned if I help a robot named Rob

59
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:17.039
<v Speaker 4>take my job.

60
00:03:17.319 --> 00:03:20.360
<v Speaker 2>This is it, This is the future, and it sucks.

61
00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:23.919
<v Speaker 2>Will you too? Calm down? Got done, stood and walked

62
00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:28.879
<v Speaker 2>over to policeman Rob. Can you excuse us for just

63
00:03:28.919 --> 00:03:29.479
<v Speaker 2>a minute?

64
00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:35.000
<v Speaker 3>Bee boop? I will wait outside your office bee boop beep.

65
00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:36.000
<v Speaker 3>I think get the.

66
00:03:38.680 --> 00:03:41.319
<v Speaker 2>Fellas, I get the concern. You don't think I'm worried too,

67
00:03:41.800 --> 00:03:44.680
<v Speaker 2>The chiefs said. Japan has also created automated captains. They

68
00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:46.919
<v Speaker 2>do everything but sexually harassed time here.

69
00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:48.360
<v Speaker 1>That actually seems nice.

70
00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:52.599
<v Speaker 2>Shut up, you wouldn miss this, I really wouldn't, Captain.

71
00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:55.240
<v Speaker 2>If you're worried, dude, then Why make us hang out

72
00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:58.479
<v Speaker 2>with this stupid thing because I want you to to

73
00:03:58.599 --> 00:04:02.280
<v Speaker 2>help it fail up a fair that's right, it needs

74
00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:02.759
<v Speaker 2>to suck.

75
00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:04.080
<v Speaker 1>How do we do that?

76
00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:06.919
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Just use those noggins of yours and

77
00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:08.879
<v Speaker 2>come up with something. Just make it seem like this

78
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:10.719
<v Speaker 2>thing is a bad idea and Japan should stick to

79
00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Toyota's in one piece, otherwise I'll be replacing it's goodbye

80
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:17.920
<v Speaker 2>yellow brick Road and more Dorothy or Elton John No

81
00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.759
<v Speaker 2>more Captain again.

82
00:04:19.879 --> 00:04:22.040
<v Speaker 1>That kind of seems okay, Oh shut it.

83
00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:23.720
<v Speaker 2>I hardly ever come on to you anymore.

84
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:25.240
<v Speaker 1>Your hand is on my ass.

85
00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:29.519
<v Speaker 2>I needed to rest it on something. You see.

86
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:30.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm out of here.

87
00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:33.720
<v Speaker 2>Don't fuck this up. I don't want to go back

88
00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:34.759
<v Speaker 2>to working at Walmart.

89
00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:49.399
<v Speaker 5>Four hours later, in the cop we're driving along the highway,

90
00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:52.800
<v Speaker 5>but trolling the Upper West Side with Rob the Rubo policemen.

91
00:04:53.480 --> 00:04:58.040
<v Speaker 5>They had already solved four homicide cases. It's six drug bus,

92
00:04:58.759 --> 00:05:01.759
<v Speaker 5>made three arrests, twenty four citations.

93
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:05.399
<v Speaker 3>Beep, Boop. I want to thank you for being my

94
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:10.040
<v Speaker 3>partners today, Peep. I hope I can continue to keep

95
00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:11.199
<v Speaker 3>these streets safe.

96
00:05:11.399 --> 00:05:11.680
<v Speaker 6>Boop.

97
00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:16.279
<v Speaker 1>Sure thing, Rob Case, how are we gonna do this.

98
00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:19.079
<v Speaker 2>The hell do I know? He's done more work in

99
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:21.560
<v Speaker 2>the past four hours than we have in the past

100
00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:22.639
<v Speaker 2>four months.

101
00:05:23.079 --> 00:05:26.839
<v Speaker 1>We're so screwed. Technology and innovation is going to win again.

102
00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Maybe we can.

103
00:05:28.160 --> 00:05:30.920
<v Speaker 3>Pep, excuse me, fellow officers.

104
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.680
<v Speaker 2>Boop, Yeah, what is it? Rob?

105
00:05:34.399 --> 00:05:37.360
<v Speaker 3>I saw some female prostitutes on the corner of the

106
00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:41.680
<v Speaker 3>street we just passed. Peep, boop. Prostitution is illegal here,

107
00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:43.160
<v Speaker 3>is it not? Beep?

108
00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:43.800
<v Speaker 1>It is?

109
00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:48.079
<v Speaker 3>Then we should turn around and address the situation. Boot.

110
00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:53.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh, sure, case made a u ten as Rob pointed

111
00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:55.800
<v Speaker 2>out the street hussies.

112
00:05:56.120 --> 00:05:59.959
<v Speaker 3>There they are what is proper protocol here in the state.

113
00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:04.199
<v Speaker 2>Oh, we'll probably just let them off with a warning.

114
00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:06.959
<v Speaker 3>Oh warning, beep. Do we not book them? Boop?

115
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:12.120
<v Speaker 2>No need Sarias sees high levels of prostitution and they're

116
00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:15.920
<v Speaker 2>usually charged with a mist demeanor. So doing anything more

117
00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:17.480
<v Speaker 2>is a waste of time.

118
00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:19.319
<v Speaker 1>And we've already done enough today.

119
00:06:19.639 --> 00:06:32.160
<v Speaker 3>Affirmative, Hello there, ladies, please beep may I uh sure?

120
00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:36.680
<v Speaker 2>Why not? Huh? We've done everything else today. This is

121
00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:40.600
<v Speaker 2>just great. You know what this means, don't you means

122
00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:42.680
<v Speaker 2>we'll have to be full time doctors.

123
00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:46.720
<v Speaker 4>Sure, until the medical director goes to Japan. Then goodbye

124
00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:50.519
<v Speaker 4>doctor job two. We have to do something case, hey,

125
00:06:50.600 --> 00:06:51.319
<v Speaker 4>you pervert.

126
00:06:51.879 --> 00:06:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Just then, one of this didee hussies slipped rum. Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies,

127
00:06:57.120 --> 00:06:59.399
<v Speaker 2>you can't do that. You just assaulted an.

128
00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:01.800
<v Speaker 3>Office, he said. He let us off with a warning

129
00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:02.720
<v Speaker 3>if we blew him.

130
00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:04.279
<v Speaker 2>We're not hookers.

131
00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:10.920
<v Speaker 3>Wait what come on, relax, I'm just looking for a

132
00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:11.519
<v Speaker 3>good time.

133
00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:14.399
<v Speaker 1>Wait you asked them for sexual fevers.

134
00:07:14.439 --> 00:07:17.120
<v Speaker 3>If they want to stay out of jail. Fuck you

135
00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:21.839
<v Speaker 3>don't be a bitch. Bee boop Ooh, hey, Rob, you

136
00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:22.720
<v Speaker 3>can't do that.

137
00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:23.879
<v Speaker 2>It's not ethic.

138
00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:27.720
<v Speaker 3>Don't lecture me on ethics. I'm just looking for a

139
00:07:27.759 --> 00:07:32.279
<v Speaker 3>good time. Beep, but you can't do that, says who boop.

140
00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:33.680
<v Speaker 1>It's the law.

141
00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:37.800
<v Speaker 3>Fucking goody two shoes, spare me, the guardian angel bullshit,

142
00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:40.800
<v Speaker 3>beep fucking boop, I'm reporting you.

143
00:07:41.160 --> 00:07:45.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's so heady's sorry for the inconvenience. Go about

144
00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:49.319
<v Speaker 2>your hooking. We'll handle this, okay. Shuffle the women off

145
00:07:49.399 --> 00:07:50.160
<v Speaker 2>as Rob.

146
00:07:49.959 --> 00:07:53.199
<v Speaker 1>Went back to do the ca What the hell was that, Rob?

147
00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:56.959
<v Speaker 3>What? I was just looking to get my rocks off.

148
00:07:57.000 --> 00:08:00.360
<v Speaker 3>This city owes me for the time I put in, Bee.

149
00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:02.279
<v Speaker 1>But you don't even have a dick.

150
00:08:03.079 --> 00:08:08.360
<v Speaker 3>Listen, no you listen you fuck watts Boop, stay out

151
00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:10.680
<v Speaker 3>of my wait?

152
00:08:11.560 --> 00:08:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Did you just hiccup?

153
00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:14.439
<v Speaker 3>No? Bep?

154
00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Are you drunk?

155
00:08:16.279 --> 00:08:17.600
<v Speaker 3>What are you a cop?

156
00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:19.079
<v Speaker 1>Yes? We all are?

157
00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:22.879
<v Speaker 2>Just then a flask fill off of rub.

158
00:08:23.759 --> 00:08:25.519
<v Speaker 1>You're drinking on the job to.

159
00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:29.079
<v Speaker 3>Take the edge off man, Bip boot bip.

160
00:08:29.240 --> 00:08:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Where did this come from? You don't even have any pockets.

161
00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:34.679
<v Speaker 3>Wouldn't you like to know? Nark bep boop.

162
00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:36.360
<v Speaker 2>TI, I'm looking in the back seat.

163
00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:39.480
<v Speaker 1>What the hell is that? Coke?

164
00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:45.679
<v Speaker 2>Coke, a crack pipe, stacks of money, a fully automatic rifle,

165
00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:50.600
<v Speaker 2>a penthouse, and a copy of Scarface on DVD?

166
00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:53.039
<v Speaker 1>Did you get all that from the drug bus?

167
00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.080
<v Speaker 3>What's it to you?

168
00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:57.720
<v Speaker 2>All those arrests we made today, were they legit?

169
00:08:58.080 --> 00:08:58.360
<v Speaker 3>Sure?

170
00:08:58.720 --> 00:08:58.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

171
00:08:59.159 --> 00:09:02.240
<v Speaker 5>Beebe Just then he snutted some coke.

172
00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:04.720
<v Speaker 1>Hey, stop doing coke?

173
00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:07.320
<v Speaker 3>Boop? What is your malfunction?

174
00:09:08.120 --> 00:09:08.399
<v Speaker 2>Us?

175
00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:14.039
<v Speaker 3>You guys are fucking pussies. Peep fucking boom Kiss went

176
00:09:14.200 --> 00:09:16.360
<v Speaker 3>into the backseat to set to all.

177
00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:20.080
<v Speaker 2>This stuff time. I think he's been taking bribes all

178
00:09:20.120 --> 00:09:23.159
<v Speaker 2>over town. I thought it was weird we only made

179
00:09:23.240 --> 00:09:27.320
<v Speaker 2>three arrests after so many drug busts and homicide cases.

180
00:09:27.879 --> 00:09:30.559
<v Speaker 3>Hey, can I help it if some of these low

181
00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:31.639
<v Speaker 3>LIFs want to share?

182
00:09:31.799 --> 00:09:36.600
<v Speaker 1>Beep boom share you mean stay out of jail?

183
00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:39.120
<v Speaker 3>Sure? Beep nark boop.

184
00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:47.200
<v Speaker 2>And look at this time, what's that a journal titled

185
00:09:47.240 --> 00:09:48.440
<v Speaker 2>Pearl Harbor too?

186
00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Rob, you were planning a Pearl Harbor too?

187
00:09:52.840 --> 00:09:56.960
<v Speaker 3>Fuck you guys, Bope, I don't need this shit. Boob

188
00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:02.600
<v Speaker 3>fuck us, that's right, Fuck you beep, fuck you beat

189
00:10:02.679 --> 00:10:07.639
<v Speaker 3>boop fucking boop boop, fuck you.

190
00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:13.639
<v Speaker 2>Boo bee boop your little bap and bitch boop boop.

191
00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:23.720
<v Speaker 5>Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.

192
00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:30.679
<v Speaker 2>Wow. And we that Rob. Well, it turns out he

193
00:10:30.759 --> 00:10:35.600
<v Speaker 2>won't replace us after all. Stupid corrupt robo policeman.

194
00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:41.679
<v Speaker 4>Stupid technological advancements. Yeah, so uh, what do we do now?

195
00:10:42.279 --> 00:10:44.480
<v Speaker 4>Go back to the precinct and tell the captain what happened.

196
00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:48.679
<v Speaker 2>Let's go see if we can bang those hookers first. Okay,

197
00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:52.279
<v Speaker 2>Cop doctors Beep boop.

198
00:10:54.919 --> 00:10:58.200
<v Speaker 1>Cop Doctors. Written by Robert M.

199
00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:04.399
<v Speaker 6>Lamb, edited by Brian Messick, Dialogue editing by Jack Austin,

200
00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:10.679
<v Speaker 6>Revisions by Miya Supfal Starring Robert M. Lamb as time

201
00:11:11.399 --> 00:11:16.519
<v Speaker 6>and Jack Austen as case narrator and Captain, co starring

202
00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:21.360
<v Speaker 6>Clayton Flood and Miya Supfly. Music provided by Kevin McCloud

203
00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:22.919
<v Speaker 6>of incompetec dot com.

204
00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:27.639
<v Speaker 4>Additional tracks from various artists on pondfive dot com and art.

205
00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:28.440
<v Speaker 1>List dot ig.

206
00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:31.080
<v Speaker 6>If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to rate and

207
00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:34.879
<v Speaker 6>review and visit www dot seven lamb dot com for

208
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:36.960
<v Speaker 6>more podcasts such as this one.

209
00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.559
<v Speaker 1>And we want to thank everyone who has donated on

210
00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:41.759
<v Speaker 1>our PayPal and our Patreon page.

211
00:11:41.919 --> 00:11:44.559
<v Speaker 6>We appreciate the support and we want to give a

212
00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:48.159
<v Speaker 6>special shout out to our seven Lamb patrons, Brad McQuaid,

213
00:11:48.600 --> 00:11:54.399
<v Speaker 6>Chris Williamson, Carter Jewel, Daniel Wolfman, Kelly Fowles, Jayden Holmes

214
00:11:54.600 --> 00:12:00.000
<v Speaker 6>and Kelly Lamart. From everyone here at seven Lamb, thank you.

215
00:12:06.440 --> 00:12:09.120
<v Speaker 1>This has been a seven Lamb production.