Speaker 1: Seven Lamb Productions Presents, Come down here, Episode thirty five. Captain,
Speaker 1: you wanted to see us?
Speaker 2: No? No, just you naked on my lap? I'm kidding
Speaker 2: kind of, but not really want to No. Okay, totally fine,
Speaker 2: I really was kidding. Don't tell char now, come in
Speaker 2: both of you time end case. Ain't at the Captain's office.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure why they were called in. Is this serious?
Speaker 2: Because we've been working really hard, Captain, We've even been
Speaker 2: slacking on being doctors so we can be better cops.
Speaker 2: That's good to hear, but you still want to find
Speaker 2: ways to work a little harder. Are they made? The
Speaker 2: Chief was over in Japan this past weekend. Japan is
Speaker 2: a country on the other side of the world. We
Speaker 2: know what Japan is.
Speaker 1: I own a PlayStation and I own a Hello Kitty backpack.
Speaker 1: That's okay, you bought it for me.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right. How do you like it?
Speaker 1: It's a little snug.
Speaker 2: Okay, don't tell JR. Well, I wasn't going to Captain.
Speaker 2: Why are we here? I don't know if you're aware,
Speaker 2: but Japan is ahead of us in technology. I know
Speaker 2: we own an Xbox too. Oh this goes higher than
Speaker 2: just a lack of exclusives. Japan is ahead of us
Speaker 2: in preventing crime. You know why, samurais? What samuraiz? What
Speaker 2: does that have to do with anything? Was that a
Speaker 2: real answer? Kind of Okay? No, not Samuraiz A little
Speaker 2: cute goofball you you're so cute with your little ass
Speaker 2: and booty.
Speaker 1: Those are the same thing.
Speaker 2: Don't tell JR. Anyway. Japan has new AI driven recruits
Speaker 2: that help patrol the streets. The Chief purchased one from
Speaker 2: the Japanese police and brought it back to the States.
Speaker 2: He wants us to test it out and see how
Speaker 2: it does in America Land.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by AI driven recruits?
Speaker 2: You can look for yourself. The god done mosh too.
Speaker 2: They don't.
Speaker 3: Beetpoop. Hello, I am a robot policeman here to help
Speaker 3: assist in preventing crimes. I am a cyber dime quarter
Speaker 3: machine C three PO one two beet boop.
Speaker 2: Hell, This here is robot policeman from Japan, A robup.
Speaker 2: That's gotta be right.
Speaker 1: A robot though, beet boop.
Speaker 3: You can call me by my program name rob ROB.
Speaker 4: What's that short for Robotic Operational Biometrics.
Speaker 3: No, Robert beet boop.
Speaker 1: Oh why does he say beet boop all the time?
Speaker 2: Why are you asking me?
Speaker 1: We gotta talk to it.
Speaker 2: You gotta do more than just talk to it.
Speaker 1: You gotta show it the ropes.
Speaker 2: What chief wants to know if we can impla these
Speaker 2: systems to patrol the streets. Do you want us to
Speaker 2: help these things take our jobs?
Speaker 4: No way, Captain. I put my own gas, I go
Speaker 4: to self checkout at the convenience store. I even use
Speaker 4: AI to make red pictures of myself on Instagram. But
Speaker 4: I'll be damned if I help a robot named Rob
Speaker 4: take my job.
Speaker 2: This is it, This is the future, and it sucks.
Speaker 2: Will you too? Calm down? Got done, stood and walked
Speaker 2: over to policeman Rob. Can you excuse us for just
Speaker 2: a minute?
Speaker 3: Bee boop? I will wait outside your office bee boop beep.
Speaker 3: I think get the.
Speaker 2: Fellas, I get the concern. You don't think I'm worried too,
Speaker 2: The chiefs said. Japan has also created automated captains. They
Speaker 2: do everything but sexually harassed time here.
Speaker 1: That actually seems nice.
Speaker 2: Shut up, you wouldn miss this, I really wouldn't, Captain.
Speaker 2: If you're worried, dude, then Why make us hang out
Speaker 2: with this stupid thing because I want you to to
Speaker 2: help it fail up a fair that's right, it needs
Speaker 2: to suck.
Speaker 1: How do we do that?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Just use those noggins of yours and
Speaker 2: come up with something. Just make it seem like this
Speaker 2: thing is a bad idea and Japan should stick to
Speaker 2: Toyota's in one piece, otherwise I'll be replacing it's goodbye
Speaker 2: yellow brick Road and more Dorothy or Elton John No
Speaker 2: more Captain again.
Speaker 1: That kind of seems okay, Oh shut it.
Speaker 2: I hardly ever come on to you anymore.
Speaker 1: Your hand is on my ass.
Speaker 2: I needed to rest it on something. You see.
Speaker 1: I'm out of here.
Speaker 2: Don't fuck this up. I don't want to go back
Speaker 2: to working at Walmart.
Speaker 5: Four hours later, in the cop we're driving along the highway,
Speaker 5: but trolling the Upper West Side with Rob the Rubo policemen.
Speaker 5: They had already solved four homicide cases. It's six drug bus,
Speaker 5: made three arrests, twenty four citations.
Speaker 3: Beep, Boop. I want to thank you for being my
Speaker 3: partners today, Peep. I hope I can continue to keep
Speaker 3: these streets safe.
Speaker 6: Boop.
Speaker 1: Sure thing, Rob Case, how are we gonna do this.
Speaker 2: The hell do I know? He's done more work in
Speaker 2: the past four hours than we have in the past
Speaker 2: four months.
Speaker 1: We're so screwed. Technology and innovation is going to win again.
Speaker 2: Maybe we can.
Speaker 3: Pep, excuse me, fellow officers.
Speaker 2: Boop, Yeah, what is it? Rob?
Speaker 3: I saw some female prostitutes on the corner of the
Speaker 3: street we just passed. Peep, boop. Prostitution is illegal here,
Speaker 3: is it not? Beep?
Speaker 1: It is?
Speaker 3: Then we should turn around and address the situation. Boot.
Speaker 2: Oh, sure, case made a u ten as Rob pointed
Speaker 2: out the street hussies.
Speaker 3: There they are what is proper protocol here in the state.
Speaker 2: Oh, we'll probably just let them off with a warning.
Speaker 3: Oh warning, beep. Do we not book them? Boop?
Speaker 2: No need Sarias sees high levels of prostitution and they're
Speaker 2: usually charged with a mist demeanor. So doing anything more
Speaker 2: is a waste of time.
Speaker 1: And we've already done enough today.
Speaker 3: Affirmative, Hello there, ladies, please beep may I uh sure?
Speaker 2: Why not? Huh? We've done everything else today. This is
Speaker 2: just great. You know what this means, don't you means
Speaker 2: we'll have to be full time doctors.
Speaker 4: Sure, until the medical director goes to Japan. Then goodbye
Speaker 4: doctor job two. We have to do something case, hey,
Speaker 4: you pervert.
Speaker 2: Just then, one of this didee hussies slipped rum. Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies,
Speaker 2: you can't do that. You just assaulted an.
Speaker 3: Office, he said. He let us off with a warning
Speaker 3: if we blew him.
Speaker 2: We're not hookers.
Speaker 3: Wait what come on, relax, I'm just looking for a
Speaker 3: good time.
Speaker 1: Wait you asked them for sexual fevers.
Speaker 3: If they want to stay out of jail. Fuck you
Speaker 3: don't be a bitch. Bee boop Ooh, hey, Rob, you
Speaker 3: can't do that.
Speaker 2: It's not ethic.
Speaker 3: Don't lecture me on ethics. I'm just looking for a
Speaker 3: good time. Beep, but you can't do that, says who boop.
Speaker 1: It's the law.
Speaker 3: Fucking goody two shoes, spare me, the guardian angel bullshit,
Speaker 3: beep fucking boop, I'm reporting you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so heady's sorry for the inconvenience. Go about
Speaker 2: your hooking. We'll handle this, okay. Shuffle the women off
Speaker 2: as Rob.
Speaker 1: Went back to do the ca What the hell was that, Rob?
Speaker 3: What? I was just looking to get my rocks off.
Speaker 3: This city owes me for the time I put in, Bee.
Speaker 1: But you don't even have a dick.
Speaker 3: Listen, no you listen you fuck watts Boop, stay out
Speaker 3: of my wait?
Speaker 1: Did you just hiccup?
Speaker 3: No? Bep?
Speaker 1: Are you drunk?
Speaker 3: What are you a cop?
Speaker 1: Yes? We all are?
Speaker 2: Just then a flask fill off of rub.
Speaker 1: You're drinking on the job to.
Speaker 3: Take the edge off man, Bip boot bip.
Speaker 1: Where did this come from? You don't even have any pockets.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't you like to know? Nark bep boop.
Speaker 2: TI, I'm looking in the back seat.
Speaker 1: What the hell is that? Coke?
Speaker 2: Coke, a crack pipe, stacks of money, a fully automatic rifle,
Speaker 2: a penthouse, and a copy of Scarface on DVD?
Speaker 1: Did you get all that from the drug bus?
Speaker 3: What's it to you?
Speaker 2: All those arrests we made today, were they legit?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Beebe Just then he snutted some coke.
Speaker 1: Hey, stop doing coke?
Speaker 3: Boop? What is your malfunction?
Speaker 2: Us?
Speaker 3: You guys are fucking pussies. Peep fucking boom Kiss went
Speaker 3: into the backseat to set to all.
Speaker 2: This stuff time. I think he's been taking bribes all
Speaker 2: over town. I thought it was weird we only made
Speaker 2: three arrests after so many drug busts and homicide cases.
Speaker 3: Hey, can I help it if some of these low
Speaker 3: LIFs want to share?
Speaker 1: Beep boom share you mean stay out of jail?
Speaker 3: Sure? Beep nark boop.
Speaker 2: And look at this time, what's that a journal titled
Speaker 2: Pearl Harbor too?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Rob, you were planning a Pearl Harbor too?
Speaker 3: Fuck you guys, Bope, I don't need this shit. Boob
Speaker 3: fuck us, that's right, Fuck you beep, fuck you beat
Speaker 3: boop fucking boop boop, fuck you.
Speaker 2: Boo bee boop your little bap and bitch boop boop.
Speaker 5: Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
Speaker 2: Wow. And we that Rob. Well, it turns out he
Speaker 2: won't replace us after all. Stupid corrupt robo policeman.
Speaker 4: Stupid technological advancements. Yeah, so uh, what do we do now?
Speaker 4: Go back to the precinct and tell the captain what happened.
Speaker 2: Let's go see if we can bang those hookers first. Okay,
Speaker 2: Cop doctors Beep boop.
Speaker 1: Cop Doctors. Written by Robert M.
Speaker 6: Lamb, edited by Brian Messick, Dialogue editing by Jack Austin,
Speaker 6: Revisions by Miya Supfal Starring Robert M. Lamb as time
Speaker 6: and Jack Austen as case narrator and Captain, co starring
Speaker 6: Clayton Flood and Miya Supfly. Music provided by Kevin McCloud
Speaker 6: of incompetec dot com.
Speaker 4: Additional tracks from various artists on pondfive dot com and art.
Speaker 1: List dot ig.
Speaker 6: If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to rate and
Speaker 6: review and visit www dot seven lamb dot com for
Speaker 6: more podcasts such as this one.
Speaker 1: And we want to thank everyone who has donated on
Speaker 1: our PayPal and our Patreon page.
Speaker 6: We appreciate the support and we want to give a
Speaker 6: special shout out to our seven Lamb patrons, Brad McQuaid,
Speaker 6: Chris Williamson, Carter Jewel, Daniel Wolfman, Kelly Fowles, Jayden Holmes
Speaker 6: and Kelly Lamart. From everyone here at seven Lamb, thank you.
Speaker 1: This has been a seven Lamb production.