WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.879 --> 00:00:05.120 You're listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. 2 00:00:05.320 --> 00:00:09.320 To seventeen Finding Purpose, Helping Others, Trusting the Path Forward, 3 00:00:10.679 --> 00:00:15.759 Real stories of recovery from Northern Michigan and beyond book. 4 00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:20.640 This is episode nine hundred and forty. The title that's 5 00:00:20.679 --> 00:00:21.879 seven years son. 6 00:00:22.519 --> 00:00:26.359 That's right, seven years son, it's my seven years today. 7 00:00:26.879 --> 00:00:31.719 Congratulations seven years. I'm not drinking Aki, hal my god, 8 00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:34.799 let me tell you my life's gotten a little better. 9 00:00:34.880 --> 00:00:37.119 I know you're gonna ask next, how'd you do it? 10 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:40.159 Corey? Well, we don't have enough time in the world. 11 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:42.560 I'm sorry. This is just one episode. 12 00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:45.880 But no, I'll answer any questions if you guys have any. 13 00:00:47.719 --> 00:00:49.439 And of course you got like fifteen years on, you know, 14 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:53.359 you got like ten. But no, it's still it's it's 15 00:00:53.399 --> 00:00:56.399 pretty cool, mart you have six So you're right behind me, 16 00:00:56.479 --> 00:00:57.320 nipping up my tails. 17 00:00:57.439 --> 00:00:58.679 Yeah, always chasing me. 18 00:00:58.719 --> 00:00:59.960 I'll always be chasing you, hope. 19 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:00.159 So. 20 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:04.319 But now it's so crazy though, because I was thinking 21 00:01:04.359 --> 00:01:09.920 the other day about how in early years and even before, 22 00:01:10.359 --> 00:01:12.000 you know, like when I was handcuffed to the bed 23 00:01:12.879 --> 00:01:14.319 at the hospital, you. 24 00:01:14.239 --> 00:01:14.519 Know, like. 25 00:01:16.680 --> 00:01:19.159 Your handcuff, what what the bed? 26 00:01:19.799 --> 00:01:20.120 Where? 27 00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:21.079 What's the story? 28 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:24.719 When was this hospital bed? Okay seven years ago? 29 00:01:24.840 --> 00:01:27.120 Okay, Well, for anybody who this is their first time 30 00:01:27.159 --> 00:01:29.920 tuning in, that might have sounded a little bit off putting. 31 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:33.079 Yeah, I'm Corey Winfield, by the way, the host of 32 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:33.879 this podcast. 33 00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:37.400 You're Marnie, Marnie Winfield, that's my wife. 34 00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:42.040 And then Corey Corey Smoker, he's a co host friend whatever, 35 00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:48.159 play of two seventeen Recovery, person recovery just whatever. Okay, 36 00:01:48.159 --> 00:01:50.400 So that's us. So that's a reset. So now we 37 00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:51.480 want me to reset it again. 38 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:57.519 No, Corey Winfield, who's the ultimate person who like reason 39 00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:01.079 to reads between the lines and like, so back when 40 00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:05.760 I was handcuffed to the bed, like, no story, no 41 00:02:06.359 --> 00:02:10.360 nothing surrounding that statement, it just might sounded a little 42 00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:11.680 bit sorry. 43 00:02:11.960 --> 00:02:13.680 So we were just calling one of yours out there. 44 00:02:13.759 --> 00:02:15.439 Yeah, due to us, Yeah, all the time. 45 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:16.840 So I still have writer brain. 46 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:19.439 You would have gotten like this weird devilish like smirk 47 00:02:19.479 --> 00:02:21.400 on his face and like I was going to say something, 48 00:02:21.479 --> 00:02:22.039 but I'm. 49 00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:23.080 Not going to say anything now. 50 00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:25.719 My life now is in writer brain. It's in script. 51 00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:28.439 So if that part of the script is already back there, 52 00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:30.680 I already look at it as already read. 53 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:33.159 Well we're we're now editing in it. 54 00:02:33.400 --> 00:02:38.919 Yeah yeah, So anyway, yeah, back seven years ago, I 55 00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:40.759 was taken to jail, or not to jail, I was. 56 00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:41.599 He tried taking me. 57 00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:43.280 To jail, and he realized I was too drunk because 58 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:48.719 zero point four or five some is insane, and well 59 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:51.240 not really insane for me. I was like, all right, cool, 60 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:54.039 that was actually what it took to make me stop shaking, 61 00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:56.879 because I went, I had to go buy half a 62 00:02:56.879 --> 00:03:01.319 fit had to buy a fifth. Jesus, I'm horrible at 63 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:03.960 this telling story thing, so. 64 00:03:03.879 --> 00:03:05.039 I know that was funny. 65 00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:07.080 So I had to buy a half gallon and I 66 00:03:07.159 --> 00:03:09.759 drank half of it, which would equal a fifth to 67 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:12.080 get my shakes down. So he gave me a breathalyzer 68 00:03:12.120 --> 00:03:14.039 because I wasn't suposed to be drinking because I was 69 00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:19.080 out of jail and waiting for my court date and 70 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:21.159 all that. And the judge said, don't you be drinking, son? 71 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:24.120 And I said, yeah, whatever, okay, got home, half gallon, 72 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:25.360 sitting on the counter, start drinking. 73 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:27.080 I don't remember much anyway. 74 00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:29.840 Can I ask, when the cop is giving you the 75 00:03:29.879 --> 00:03:33.240 sobriety test, are you in recollection of what's going on. 76 00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:34.280 Oh. 77 00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:38.120 Absolutely. I was sitting on my bed and he gave 78 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:39.080 me the breathalyzer. 79 00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:39.439 Caul. 80 00:03:39.479 --> 00:03:42.439 See what happened was when I was sentenced for my 81 00:03:42.520 --> 00:03:44.960 drunk driving. I was in jail for like a week, 82 00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:47.120 and then they did my arrangement in there and they 83 00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:48.759 told me, hey, we're gon let you out whatever, but like, 84 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:49.680 don't drink or anything. 85 00:03:50.520 --> 00:03:50.840 Okay. 86 00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:53.599 Sure, I walked back into my apartment. There's a half 87 00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:56.960 gallen sitting there. Of course I start drinking it. I 88 00:03:57.000 --> 00:03:58.680 don't remember much after that, but no, I woke up 89 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:01.680 the next morning or not that next morning. It was 90 00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:05.360 days later, but I was shaken so bad that I 91 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:06.960 know I needed to go get more. And my mom 92 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:08.280 had called me and she's like, don't get more, and 93 00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:09.599 I'm like, no, I have to. So I went and 94 00:04:09.639 --> 00:04:12.400 got more and it was a half gallon and I 95 00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:15.680 drank half of that, which is roughly a fifth. So 96 00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:17.079 that's what it took for me to just kind of 97 00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:18.600 calm down. So when he came in to give me 98 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:20.319 the breath of liveser, it was like zero point four, 99 00:04:20.680 --> 00:04:24.399 five six whatever, and he was just kind of like 100 00:04:24.439 --> 00:04:26.480 whoa and I was like, no, dude, Like this is 101 00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:30.199 like now I feel normal, like and then that's crazy 102 00:04:30.199 --> 00:04:31.759 to think that it takes that much to just make 103 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:35.319 you feel normal, you know, like that's that's nuts. 104 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:37.639 Why did he come in to give me the breath liser? 105 00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:40.639 Because when my mom was like, oh, you're drinking. You're 106 00:04:40.639 --> 00:04:42.480 not supposed to be drinking because you're liver because she 107 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:44.639 was like very concerned about that, which you know I 108 00:04:44.680 --> 00:04:47.759 should have been too, because I had liver failure when 109 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:52.720 I was thirty six, back in twenty fifteen, and so 110 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:59.199 she called the ambulamps. The ambulances people word it, it's 111 00:04:59.199 --> 00:05:04.120 your first time listening the podcast welcome. So the cops 112 00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:07.079 heard it and it was like, mister Winfield, not supposed 113 00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:10.480 to be drinking. We're going to go over there too, 114 00:05:10.519 --> 00:05:12.439 because well the ambulance is called, so we got to 115 00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:14.279 go show up anyway. And then they were just like 116 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:18.720 not going there and I wouldn't let him in, and 117 00:05:18.759 --> 00:05:21.560 my mom at one point was like, I don't want 118 00:05:21.639 --> 00:05:24.120 your cat to eat you when you drink yourself to death, 119 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:28.160 so give me a key. So I was like okay, 120 00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:30.920 and the two that, you know, I was depending on her, 121 00:05:31.639 --> 00:05:33.120 you know, so like if I didn't give her the 122 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:36.160 key when my lights were going to get shut off. 123 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:37.160 At some point, I knew that. 124 00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:39.240 Was, you know, like something was going to happen like that, 125 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:41.600 and I'm gonna need her on my side. So I 126 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:44.519 didn't really want to poke the bear, you know, just okay, whatever, 127 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:48.439 you know, And that is kind of very some codependent behavior, 128 00:05:49.720 --> 00:05:51.120 you know, obviously. But when I was in tream of 129 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:52.560 the last time, I read a book about it and 130 00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:56.399 I sort of figuring it out. But but yeah, so 131 00:05:56.560 --> 00:05:58.639 I remember that. And then the cop driving me over 132 00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:01.839 as he filled out some report which I was assuming 133 00:06:01.879 --> 00:06:04.480 would be fake, and he just made me sit in 134 00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:07.839 the back for I don't know, maybe hour hour and 135 00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:12.720 a half, which felt like eighteen days, and it was 136 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:14.399 hot and it was just horrible. 137 00:06:15.279 --> 00:06:19.040 It wasn't fun, like it's just the I hurt. 138 00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:20.639 You just had to stay in the back of a 139 00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:21.600 cop car for that long. 140 00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:24.839 Yeah, And then he took me to the hospital because 141 00:06:24.839 --> 00:06:27.199 they couldn't take me to the jail with such a 142 00:06:27.279 --> 00:06:31.279 high blood alcohol And that's when they you know, brought 143 00:06:31.319 --> 00:06:32.639 me in there and they handcuffed me to the bed, 144 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:35.120 and then this other woman cop came in and she 145 00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:37.879 sat with it for a while and then the doctor 146 00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:39.519 came in and it was just like, well, what are you 147 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:40.639 what are you waiting here for? 148 00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:41.920 You know. 149 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.360 She's like, well, we got to take him to jail. 150 00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:44.759 And she's like, well what happened And she's like, oh, 151 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:46.160 he was out and he was a fleu drinking and 152 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:48.560 so she's like, okay, well it's going to be a 153 00:06:48.600 --> 00:06:50.959 long time before the alcohol is out of the system 154 00:06:51.079 --> 00:06:52.600 enough for you to take him to jail, you know. 155 00:06:52.759 --> 00:06:56.639 So the officer was like, all right, he's got to 156 00:06:56.680 --> 00:06:57.399 coordinate coming up. 157 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:00.720 They'll see him soon. So what is this? Cut them loose? 158 00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:03.319 So that's kind of where or that went. 159 00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:05.759 I don't remember why we started talking about me being 160 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:08.639 handcuffed to a bed, but that's where I was. Life's 161 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:10.199 gotten better, I guess. Is that where I'm about? 162 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:13.199 Yeah, because your seven years sober today? 163 00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:17.279 Yeah, who would have thought? But yeah, back thinking back 164 00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:22.600 to the very beginning, like I never would have thought 165 00:07:22.839 --> 00:07:26.319 this was possible, you know, like it's it's crazy and 166 00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:29.079 it's scary, and that's probably one of the hardest things 167 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.399 about being in recovery. And I'm using air quotes there 168 00:07:32.120 --> 00:07:34.319 is because it's about change. You have to change your life, 169 00:07:34.319 --> 00:07:36.000 you have to change the things that you're doing and 170 00:07:36.040 --> 00:07:39.560 the people that you're around. And I was writing some 171 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.920 stuff earlier about that and about change and how people 172 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:47.079 in your life do change, and that necessarily isn't a 173 00:07:47.079 --> 00:07:48.839 bad thing, and it doesn't mean that they're bad people. 174 00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:51.360 And I was thinking about examples, for like, there are 175 00:07:51.399 --> 00:07:53.839 good people that I know from my past that were 176 00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:55.879 really good examples for him that I just don't talk 177 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:58.959 to anymore. And it's not because I don't like them, or, 178 00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:00.519 like I said, because they're bad people. Or I think 179 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:04.120 it's just because my life has taken me here, my sobriety, 180 00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:08.319 my life, me choosing my life and moving forward in 181 00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:10.600 my life has me here today, you know. Or I 182 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:13.360 have new friends and new people, so I don't have 183 00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:15.360 to always look back at those people in those times 184 00:08:15.399 --> 00:08:17.800 and think, oh, man, I don't talk to them anymore. 185 00:08:17.800 --> 00:08:19.839 It must be because I'm sober. No, it's just because 186 00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:22.759 it's life. Life changes. You know, when you have kids, 187 00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:25.000 you change. You know, when you have grandkids, you change, 188 00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:28.079 and your life changes and things you do changes, and 189 00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:32.200 when you stop drinking, your life changes and the people change. 190 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:33.720 And if you still want to keep hanging out with 191 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:37.679 those people, you can. But I'm telling you, it's just 192 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:41.639 different the things you want in life. You start wanting 193 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:43.919 things in life, you start achieving things in life again 194 00:08:44.320 --> 00:08:48.240 or maybe for the first time ever, and it's just 195 00:08:48.519 --> 00:08:50.919 it's amazing thing though, it really is to be on 196 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:52.559 the side of it, and to think that that was 197 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:56.879 a time where I thought it was impossible. It will 198 00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:59.080 happen for you. Corey Smoker, it will happen for you, 199 00:08:59.159 --> 00:09:02.440 Martie Winfield, listen. At that time, it would happen for 200 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:06.559 everybody but me. It's not gonna happen for me. I 201 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:10.720 will never win the lottery. I'll never fall in love 202 00:09:10.919 --> 00:09:14.919 and get married and have a kid. I'll never I'll never, 203 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:19.039 It'll never happen. It's the same thinking of oh, I'll 204 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:22.399 never be an alcoholic, that'll never happen to me, and 205 00:09:22.440 --> 00:09:25.759 then like flips but in the like a really tragic, 206 00:09:25.960 --> 00:09:26.559 sad way. 207 00:09:29.039 --> 00:09:31.879 So when did it start feeling like things could be different, 208 00:09:32.279 --> 00:09:34.639 like it was possible for things to be different, those 209 00:09:34.679 --> 00:09:37.120 things that you thought never ever could happen. When was 210 00:09:37.159 --> 00:09:42.200 it like these potentially could be part of my world. 211 00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:45.039 I don't know. 212 00:09:46.679 --> 00:09:49.360 I just I just started with one goal and just 213 00:09:49.440 --> 00:09:52.240 kind of kept that going and just kept adding to it. 214 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:56.679 And I like pushing myself. I like to achieve things, 215 00:09:56.679 --> 00:09:58.440 so like to say that, yeah, I'm gonna start a 216 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:00.759 podcast and then do that and then and just like man, 217 00:10:01.879 --> 00:10:03.960 we talked about the treatment thing and the man everybody 218 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:06.159 does need to ride, and I don't know, we started 219 00:10:06.240 --> 00:10:08.080 kind of moving in that direction with you know, first 220 00:10:08.120 --> 00:10:09.799 we were thinking we would take people to meetings and 221 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:14.000 stuff like that. And then with COVID and everything shutting down, 222 00:10:14.120 --> 00:10:15.879 in which I was never a huge fan of just 223 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:17.960 putting someone on a bus anyway to get to treatment. 224 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.519 I mean, just think about that. That's horrible. Well is 225 00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:23.399 it horrible, Corey, go to a bus stop. Why don't 226 00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:25.399 you go on the just a little bus trips? Next 227 00:10:25.399 --> 00:10:27.799 time you're going to go somewhere, just take the bus. 228 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:30.159 You'll see what I'm talking about. That's all I gotta say. 229 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:33.519 Just trust me. Okay, it's not a good idea. So 230 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:35.440 we started taking people to them from treatment, and that 231 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:37.440 was another thing, you know, and then it's like okay, cool, 232 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:40.000 Well now what's next. And you know, we have this place, 233 00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:42.519 you know, the two seventeen Recovery Center, and it's like, oh, 234 00:10:42.519 --> 00:10:43.519 I want to run a movie, so. 235 00:10:43.679 --> 00:10:44.759 Like pushing myself forward. 236 00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:47.159 But yeah, I don't know exactly when I thought it 237 00:10:47.200 --> 00:10:50.919 was all possible because I'm still if we're looking at 238 00:10:51.039 --> 00:10:53.320 like a hill. You know how they say, hey, over 239 00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:55.759 the hill when you're fifty years old, which I think 240 00:10:55.759 --> 00:10:58.559 that it's now eighty, right, Yeah, something like that, because 241 00:10:58.559 --> 00:10:59.639 I'm forty seven, and then. 242 00:10:59.679 --> 00:11:00.639 I want to be up there. 243 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:02.960 So if I was on that hill on my path 244 00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:04.720 of things I want to accomplish in life, I'm like 245 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:08.840 a third of the way of it, not coming back 246 00:11:08.879 --> 00:11:09.799 down but heading up. 247 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:11.399 Like that's where I feel like, so like people are 248 00:11:11.399 --> 00:11:13.480 I was like, oh, you're doing good. I'm like, okaye, cool, But. 249 00:11:14.919 --> 00:11:17.480 I don't know, see, but that's where you're I mean, 250 00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:20.399 And I'm not saying it's not good to keep coming 251 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:23.440 up with more goals and that's amazing. That's good. We 252 00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:26.200 all should do that in a way. But also too 253 00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:30.559 is being present and appreciative and recognizing things that you 254 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:33.120 have done and just being able to live in that 255 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:37.480 moment and not being like with the butt like look 256 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:40.279 at what I've done, but you know, because then it's 257 00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:44.639 always like you're not really taking in and giving yourself credit. 258 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:54.120 And actually like memorializing your accomplishments. You're always planning for 259 00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:57.519 what's next, and it is it's this gray area. There's 260 00:11:57.559 --> 00:12:00.279 this weird it's not like being one or the other, 261 00:12:00.440 --> 00:12:03.399 you know, and it is essentially in what I'm hearing 262 00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:05.600 too is the same thing that I experienced at least 263 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:08.120 and probably the same for you, Corey, is like, you know, 264 00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:09.039 it's not like. 265 00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:09.600 These like. 266 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:14.720 Monumental spots in our lives. I mean, sometimes it can 267 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.600 be that where we actually reflect on how far we've come, 268 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:20.840 but it's like this daily one foot in front of 269 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:24.879 the other, and you know, and obviously there's detours and 270 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:28.440 shit happens to us, and you know, we have disappointments, 271 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:31.720 and we have let downs, and we have you know, 272 00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:34.000 pain and suffering and all that stuff in between, but 273 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:36.360 none of it is related to alcohol or drug use. 274 00:12:36.440 --> 00:12:40.039 At least we can say that that's amazing. And so 275 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:43.600 you know that being said is we are actually able 276 00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:46.120 to handle those moments. I think at least for me, 277 00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:49.960 because I'm clean and sober, and the clarity that you 278 00:12:50.039 --> 00:12:52.879 have on what is the next thing that I can do, 279 00:12:53.000 --> 00:12:54.679 or what is the next goal that I can achieve, 280 00:12:54.759 --> 00:12:56.120 or what is something else that I want to be 281 00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:59.360 part of my life. All of those are have become 282 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.960 possibilities because once again we're living clean and solver. 283 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:08.440 But how do you tell somebody who may have admitted 284 00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:12.799 to another person whoever, Hey, I know I have a problem, 285 00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:14.960 but I'm. 286 00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:17.919 Just gonna control it, you know. 287 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.679 But then you have people reaching out for you because 288 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:21.320 that question was kind of asked to me, and it's 289 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:22.639 just like, that's how has. 290 00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:24.440 That worked out for you in the past, same thing 291 00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:25.919 that the same questions. 292 00:13:25.559 --> 00:13:27.440 That were ask how are they asking for help? Like 293 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:30.559 I don't understand because if they're asking for money, are 294 00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:34.039 you a bank? You know, like it's their house, it's 295 00:13:34.039 --> 00:13:36.559 their living situation. You know, if you know, if they're 296 00:13:36.639 --> 00:13:39.080 still drinking on the weekend but still need money for rent, 297 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:40.919 you still need help out with the electric bill or 298 00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:44.120 you know, stuff like that, then I think you're being 299 00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:47.559 taken advantage of, you know, if I'm not saying you 300 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:49.480 need to manage these people's money or stuff like that. 301 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:50.080 But you got to. 302 00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:54.159 Kind of step back and go, Okay, is this really 303 00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:55.679 helping this person? But I don't want to see him 304 00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:57.799 throwing on the streets and this and that and I 305 00:13:57.840 --> 00:13:59.600 don't know where that comes. And I guess that's where 306 00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:02.120 the question is, you know, is that when it's time 307 00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:05.399 to call the intervention team, I think there's one in town. 308 00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:08.279 Just kind of kidding. 309 00:14:10.519 --> 00:14:14.240 I don't know, I wouldn't. I guess I would just say, 310 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:18.600 for you know, can we set a goal of how 311 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:22.279 you could achieve to maybe get some extra income to 312 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:24.840 pay your rent? Have you communicated with your landlord? 313 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:26.279 You know? 314 00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:28.240 Can you do you have some money you can go 315 00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:30.120 and pay them? And then you know, with the plan 316 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:32.679 of like in two weeks, I can give you this. 317 00:14:32.799 --> 00:14:36.440 In another two weeks, I can do this. Or I 318 00:14:36.519 --> 00:14:41.960 just can't be quick to like enable them as I 319 00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:44.519 want to do, you know, in a situation or I 320 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:46.320 want to be I want to put on my cape 321 00:14:46.360 --> 00:14:50.919 and save everybody. It's hard, but I have to find 322 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:53.480 a different way of a solution of how I can 323 00:14:53.639 --> 00:14:57.480 still maybe help them, but not I can't push them 324 00:14:57.519 --> 00:14:59.600 into the recovery part. 325 00:15:00.039 --> 00:15:01.440 And I can't push. 326 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:03.960 Them in to wear back them into a corner of 327 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:10.200 an intervention either, because sometimes I think, what's that you 328 00:15:10.279 --> 00:15:11.519 do an intervention on someone? 329 00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:13.120 What's the ending all of that? 330 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:14.480 They hate you? 331 00:15:15.720 --> 00:15:17.840 It was not you you know. 332 00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:21.320 Well, it's interesting because I had my mom inquired about 333 00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:24.440 that a while ago. No, not for her. So she 334 00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:27.960 said that her therapist, her own therapist. Well, I'm not 335 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:29.879 going to obviously name any names. 336 00:15:29.559 --> 00:15:32.759 But Sarah, no, Sarah has been No. 337 00:15:32.879 --> 00:15:35.759 Yeah, so she my mom meets with a mental health professional, 338 00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:41.039 and she her obviously knows about what you know, her 339 00:15:41.399 --> 00:15:43.519 all of all the parts of my mom and her 340 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:46.600 family and so on, and so like, she knew that 341 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:49.679 I was her daughter who struggled with substantuse disorder and 342 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:52.399 am now in this position of being a clinical therapist 343 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:55.320 and I work, you know, with this amazing nonprofit so 344 00:15:55.320 --> 00:15:57.840 on and so forth. Well, she has another client who 345 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:01.159 wanted an intervention, so she yes, my mom, does your 346 00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:06.440 daughter's company or organization do they do? Do they do interventions? 347 00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:08.440 There's air quotes? Do they do interventions? 348 00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:09.080 Right? 349 00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:12.759 So I said, And my response was first as like, 350 00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:14.759 there's a lot of things, a lot of questions that 351 00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:17.799 I had about this client, but in general is that 352 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:19.919 I mean, I personally feel. 353 00:16:20.039 --> 00:16:22.360 And this is where I said, this is like, do. 354 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:24.799 You want my clinical opinion or do you want like 355 00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:27.759 my personal slash clinical opinion? Because those are like two 356 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:32.759 little bit different things. Oh, because I personally feel that 357 00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:34.399 interventions a are outdated. 358 00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:37.799 Just the whole philosophy of what they are is just. 359 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:41.039 It seems because but if you really break down what 360 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:44.399 an invention is, Okay, so if you how you present 361 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:47.559 this intervention, right, what does that entail? 362 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:49.759 If you look it up like the like what the 363 00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:51.120 old definition. 364 00:16:50.759 --> 00:16:53.960 Was, It's basically a group of people coming together to 365 00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:59.039 address to an individual who's struggling with some sort of addiction, 366 00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:01.519 to put it in front of them, to let them 367 00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:04.359 know how much they care about them. Right, So the 368 00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.720 foundation of it is great, like it lives in a 369 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:09.559 very positive place. But the problem is is that you 370 00:17:09.640 --> 00:17:13.000 also realize that when you're addressing with someone who's an 371 00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:15.799 active addiction, whether it's they're active and they're gambling, they're 372 00:17:15.799 --> 00:17:18.400 active in their drug use, are active in their alcoholism, 373 00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:20.519 whatever it is, like. 374 00:17:20.440 --> 00:17:21.960 They're not in a good headspace. 375 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:24.880 And so I don't, no matter how much you love 376 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:31.480 them or care about them, getting everybody together to basically 377 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:35.880 blindside right because they don't know that these things are 378 00:17:35.880 --> 00:17:39.759 happening nine times out of ten, and we just want 379 00:17:39.799 --> 00:17:41.880 to because they feel like there's no other way to 380 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:44.200 get the person in the room to give them this information. 381 00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:48.200 They probably already know how much they're loved. They probably do, 382 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:52.039 but they're just not ready to address their addiction. 383 00:17:53.640 --> 00:17:54.920 And before you go in here further, I mean, we 384 00:17:54.920 --> 00:17:57.839 should probably address this because again, if you're listening for 385 00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:00.599 the first time, you probably don't understand. But this isn't 386 00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:02.680 just somebody we grabbed off the street. This is a 387 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:06.440 l M s W license. 388 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:16.319 Uh, master's social Okay, yeah, so a DC guys, Yeah. 389 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.319 Well so big congratulations two of them. 390 00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:27.680 Thank you. Yes, it's it's she can't take a while. 391 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:30.720 It's been a journey on my myself, my own self improvement. 392 00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:34.119 Yes it's continued, but I mean, credentials are great, and 393 00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:37.079 I do what I do because I've been through it, right, 394 00:18:37.559 --> 00:18:39.720 So I mean, I think that's true for all of us. 395 00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:43.960 But no, I mean I don't know, I don't know 396 00:18:43.960 --> 00:18:47.119 what your guys' experiences with interventions. I mean I had 397 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:51.319 my own that my parents, my mom set up for me, 398 00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:56.240 and there was like ten people there at my aunt's 399 00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:57.680 house and they told me that I was that my 400 00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:00.519 grandma wanted to give me some artwork she had done, 401 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:02.279