Speaker 1: Trying to turn over a new leaf when you're over
Speaker 1: fifty high. This is fifty plus. I'm James Lot Junior,
Speaker 1: jail dream Medium. The last few years, I've been trying
Speaker 1: to take all the wisdom that I've cared, I cared, accrued, accurd,
Speaker 1: I don't know what a word is that I've gathered
Speaker 1: all these years and put it to practice, No, put
Speaker 1: it to use. It's hard sometimes because something else happens.
Speaker 1: As you get older, the more you learn. At the
Speaker 1: same time, the less you care about certain things. So
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, I'm trying to get upset about certain things.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be good, not get upset. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Then there are times you're like, I'm gonna say what
Speaker 1: I feel cause I guess I can do it now.
Speaker 1: I'm old and I don't care what you think. Those
Speaker 1: two things don't work together. You have to find a way. Well,
Speaker 1: you can do one or the other, but we can't
Speaker 1: we do both. If you're trying to turn your leave
Speaker 1: them believes can be heavy. You can be trying and
Speaker 1: turn it over, but I'm telling you it's hard. There
Speaker 1: are things I want to say to certain people and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, no, James, I'm trying to hold it
Speaker 1: down and not cause any drama. Because as you get older,
Speaker 1: if you're a normal person, you want less drama, so
Speaker 1: you try to avoid it because you don't want any drama.
Speaker 1: You don't want any drama. I want going on. You
Speaker 1: have time for that. You're busy and things going on,
Speaker 1: or you're more relaxed. But then things keep happening. Of
Speaker 1: course that's what life does. Life be life, And as
Speaker 1: young kids say, I really don't say that, but who knows,
Speaker 1: things keep happening that test your your thoughts on happy.
Speaker 1: So you're like, please stay I got to my friend
Speaker 1: the other day. I'm trying to stay calm. I stay calm.
Speaker 1: I can't tell tone through text, our messages. Try to
Speaker 1: look at actions, did you try to look at That's
Speaker 1: not easy either. Meanwhile, back in the ranch, you really
Speaker 1: are trying to have a nice, relaxed life. And I
Speaker 1: would say for me, I don't have any drama. I
Speaker 1: really don't. I don't have any drama anywhere, not with anybody.
Speaker 1: I have a small group of friends. Some I see
Speaker 1: all the time. Some I already talk to you. It's
Speaker 1: all good. I don't talk to half of my family.
Speaker 1: It's good there too. I try to find solutions and
Speaker 1: be a pro problem solver. And when I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find solutions, I try to find the one that's the
Speaker 1: most effective and least dramatic at the same time. On
Speaker 1: the inside, I got all these feelings that are dramatic
Speaker 1: and pushing to come out. But we say no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we do not do that. You stay inside because they
Speaker 1: will not help anything. It may feel good at first
Speaker 1: boot turn somebody off does feel good sometimes, but what
Speaker 1: is your What is the outcome that you really want?
Speaker 1: You want to be effective, so as you get older,
Speaker 1: you push them down. You don't always say what you
Speaker 1: think you want to say, and you try to work
Speaker 1: around to a solution that's better. Sometimes life happens and
Speaker 1: you don't gotta say nothing. A trash takes out itself,
Speaker 1: the problems just go away. Then sometimes people ghost you
Speaker 1: and things go away and you're like, what happened? I
Speaker 1: don't know. Getting older is such a mixed bag in
Speaker 1: many ways. I love it. I know what I know.
Speaker 1: I am smarter than I was when I was in
Speaker 1: my twenties and thirties and forties. There are things I've learned,
Speaker 1: I've survived, There are things a better person because of it.
Speaker 1: But also I know too much too and I can
Speaker 1: work against me, and I'm trying to hold it all down.
Speaker 1: It's that inner turmoil I think we all feel in
Speaker 1: our fifties. Some people are some people are really good
Speaker 1: at managing it, and they just go through there the
Speaker 1: second the golden years golden and some are fighting it
Speaker 1: on their way out. M