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<v Speaker 1>Trying to turn over a new leaf when you're over

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<v Speaker 1>fifty high. This is fifty plus. I'm James Lot Junior,

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<v Speaker 1>jail dream Medium. The last few years, I've been trying

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<v Speaker 1>to take all the wisdom that I've cared, I cared, accrued, accurd,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what a word is that I've gathered

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<v Speaker 1>all these years and put it to practice, No, put

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<v Speaker 1>it to use. It's hard sometimes because something else happens.

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<v Speaker 1>As you get older, the more you learn. At the

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<v Speaker 1>same time, the less you care about certain things. So

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<v Speaker 1>you're like, Okay, I'm trying to get upset about certain things.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to be good, not get upset. Blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 1>Then there are times you're like, I'm gonna say what

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<v Speaker 1>I feel cause I guess I can do it now.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm old and I don't care what you think. Those

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<v Speaker 1>two things don't work together. You have to find a way. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you can do one or the other, but we can't

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<v Speaker 1>we do both. If you're trying to turn your leave

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<v Speaker 1>them believes can be heavy. You can be trying and

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<v Speaker 1>turn it over, but I'm telling you it's hard. There

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<v Speaker 1>are things I want to say to certain people and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just like, no, James, I'm trying to hold it

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<v Speaker 1>down and not cause any drama. Because as you get older,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're a normal person, you want less drama, so

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<v Speaker 1>you try to avoid it because you don't want any drama.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't want any drama. I want going on. You

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<v Speaker 1>have time for that. You're busy and things going on,

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<v Speaker 1>or you're more relaxed. But then things keep happening. Of

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<v Speaker 1>course that's what life does. Life be life, And as

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<v Speaker 1>young kids say, I really don't say that, but who knows,

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<v Speaker 1>things keep happening that test your your thoughts on happy.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're like, please stay I got to my friend

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<v Speaker 1>the other day. I'm trying to stay calm. I stay calm.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't tell tone through text, our messages. Try to

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<v Speaker 1>look at actions, did you try to look at That's

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<v Speaker 1>not easy either. Meanwhile, back in the ranch, you really

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<v Speaker 1>are trying to have a nice, relaxed life. And I

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<v Speaker 1>would say for me, I don't have any drama. I

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<v Speaker 1>really don't. I don't have any drama anywhere, not with anybody.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a small group of friends. Some I see

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. Some I already talk to you. It's

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<v Speaker 1>all good. I don't talk to half of my family.

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<v Speaker 1>It's good there too. I try to find solutions and

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<v Speaker 1>be a pro problem solver. And when I'm trying to

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<v Speaker 1>find solutions, I try to find the one that's the

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<v Speaker 1>most effective and least dramatic at the same time. On

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<v Speaker 1>the inside, I got all these feelings that are dramatic

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<v Speaker 1>and pushing to come out. But we say no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>we do not do that. You stay inside because they

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<v Speaker 1>will not help anything. It may feel good at first

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<v Speaker 1>boot turn somebody off does feel good sometimes, but what

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<v Speaker 1>is your What is the outcome that you really want?

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<v Speaker 1>You want to be effective, so as you get older,

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<v Speaker 1>you push them down. You don't always say what you

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<v Speaker 1>think you want to say, and you try to work

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<v Speaker 1>around to a solution that's better. Sometimes life happens and

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<v Speaker 1>you don't gotta say nothing. A trash takes out itself,

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<v Speaker 1>the problems just go away. Then sometimes people ghost you

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<v Speaker 1>and things go away and you're like, what happened? I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. Getting older is such a mixed bag in

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<v Speaker 1>many ways. I love it. I know what I know.

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<v Speaker 1>I am smarter than I was when I was in

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<v Speaker 1>my twenties and thirties and forties. There are things I've learned,

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<v Speaker 1>I've survived, There are things a better person because of it.

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<v Speaker 1>But also I know too much too and I can

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<v Speaker 1>work against me, and I'm trying to hold it all down.

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<v Speaker 1>It's that inner turmoil I think we all feel in

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<v Speaker 1>our fifties. Some people are some people are really good

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<v Speaker 1>at managing it, and they just go through there the

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<v Speaker 1>second the golden years golden and some are fighting it

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<v Speaker 1>on their way out. M