WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.480 We have a special guest. She's bold, she's blunt, and 2 00:00:02.520 --> 00:00:04.440 she's never been afraid to stir the pot. 3 00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:07.240 The one and only Miss Brandy Glanville. 4 00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:10.759 Hello and welcome. I'm excited to have you on the 5 00:00:10.759 --> 00:00:12.720 Private Talk couch to get to know you a little 6 00:00:12.759 --> 00:00:15.240 bit more. I've heard so many wonderful things about you, 7 00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:18.399 and I've seen you on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 8 00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:20.359 So it's like, you know, it's a mixture of everything. 9 00:00:20.399 --> 00:00:23.039 But I wanted to see the un in front of me. 10 00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:26.320 I wish I was. We're private, I wish I could 11 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:29.000 private talk every I'm the open book. 12 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:31.719 But that's what it's like, two girlfriends getting to know 13 00:00:31.760 --> 00:00:33.359 each other where we don't know each other that well, 14 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:34.840 but by the end, it's like we're having. 15 00:00:34.679 --> 00:00:37.119 A Kiki Listen. I'm down for it. Let's do it. 16 00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:39.920 Let's do it. So you recently had a really you know, 17 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:42.640 crazy episode just last night, you know, you had you 18 00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:44.840 had to call nine one one. You woke up and 19 00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:48.159 you couldn't move your neck. Like that's one thank you 20 00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:50.840 for coming after all of this, you see, Lena mean, 21 00:00:51.240 --> 00:00:52.920 talk about that experience. I know you've gone through a 22 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:56.000 lot of health issues recently and you kind of are 23 00:00:56.039 --> 00:00:58.039 just don't know what to do, and when you wake 24 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:00.880 up and something like that, it's like a pairing situation, 25 00:01:01.079 --> 00:01:03.600 like can you tell us how the day went yesterday 26 00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:05.040 and what the outcome of that is. 27 00:01:05.239 --> 00:01:08.040 Well, the outcome I can tell you was that Kaiser 28 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:11.640 had a Brady Glenview housewife's fit and it was there 29 00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:14.799 was blood everywhere. I'm not gonna lie, oh but bloody mess. 30 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:18.959 It was a bloody mess. Okay, okay, yes, So we're 31 00:01:18.959 --> 00:01:20.879 still trying to get to the bottom of what's going on. 32 00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:24.239 No one actually knows. It's been almost two years. My 33 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:26.319 face was swelling up a lot, and then it started 34 00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:29.000 snaking in and then like I'll have good bait, good 35 00:01:29.079 --> 00:01:32.200 days and bad days, and then my skin turns gray, 36 00:01:32.599 --> 00:01:36.359 which is I'll show you the video after. It's disgusting, 37 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:39.879 but there's something wrong. And the guy, the year guy 38 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:41.879 said to me, like, you really need to see a doctor. 39 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:45.319 I'm like, okay, I'm a fucking loser. I'm like, I'm 40 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:47.560 in the emergency room because I could not move for 41 00:01:47.599 --> 00:01:51.000 four hours, Like that is an emergency and that's terrifying. 42 00:01:51.400 --> 00:01:53.760 Oh my god. I mean, when you wake up like 43 00:01:53.799 --> 00:01:55.560 you're supposed to hear every single day, and then it's 44 00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:56.319 like you can't move. 45 00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:00.000 I've never had that in my life. And I felt 46 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:03.480 one's downstairs ring and I'm like, no kids are at home, 47 00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:08.800 and I'm like, what theatrifie so fucking And thank god 48 00:02:08.840 --> 00:02:11.520 my dog jumped from my stomach because like it kind 49 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.000 of jerked me up. So I drew my arm over 50 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:16.080 to get the drawn and then I was like I 51 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:18.639 got up and not just hurt my neck, but anyway. 52 00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:21.039 Then I was like, I called my doctor that isn't 53 00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:25.439 from Kaiser, Yes, I hate you Kaiser, and she's like, 54 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:28.039 called nine on one right away, and I did, and 55 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:30.319 they basically just were like, was that the. 56 00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:32.159 First time that those symptoms that happened. I know that 57 00:02:32.199 --> 00:02:33.680 you've been kind of dealing with this health stuff for 58 00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:35.719 quite a bit, but it does it kind of get oh, 59 00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:38.039 nothing new every time or no, no. 60 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:39.479 It's the same. But it used to just be on 61 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:41.039 the left side of my face, and now it's on 62 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:43.439 my whole head and it's on my neck, it's moving 63 00:02:43.479 --> 00:02:46.879 down my left arm, so's something's growing and it's getting 64 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:48.759 It's like I don't want to wake up and not 65 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:49.520 wake up one. 66 00:02:49.400 --> 00:02:50.120 Day for sure. 67 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:52.520 And so the fact that it's you know, I've been 68 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:54.919 on an antibiotics straight for almost two years and I 69 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:55.400 hate it. 70 00:02:55.599 --> 00:02:58.159 Yeah, and it's just like you're just taking over your life. 71 00:02:58.240 --> 00:02:59.439 It has kind of you know. 72 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:01.960 It's it's because it's like it's frustrating when you have 73 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:04.560 something that you know for sure is happening to your 74 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:06.879 body that you've had your whole life, and then people 75 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:09.560 like either think you're lying or think you're like trying 76 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:12.240 to do things for the potential, and it's like, why 77 00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:15.120 would I want to do this to myself. It's unfortunate 78 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:17.960 that has to happen. So, because you're so vocal with 79 00:03:18.039 --> 00:03:20.120 you know, your health and everything like that, how is 80 00:03:20.199 --> 00:03:22.280 the community that you've built kind of been How have 81 00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:24.199 they been for you? Have they been an advocate for you, 82 00:03:24.280 --> 00:03:26.680 given you a place where you can kind of tell 83 00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:28.560 your woes and kind of like get feedback, or have 84 00:03:28.599 --> 00:03:29.759 they been negative? 85 00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:34.159 Well, So for the first almost year, I didn't tell anyone, okay, 86 00:03:34.159 --> 00:03:37.439 and I was going through some you know, reality we 87 00:03:37.439 --> 00:03:42.120 I'm already drunk reality TV bullshit, and so everyone's like, oh, 88 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:46.039 she disappeared, she's guilty, she's done something wrong that she's 89 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:48.560 tucking in her tail, and she left, and meanwhile I 90 00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:52.599 was having lumps, my face was ding like gymnastics. And 91 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:57.039 so finally, one night drinking and instagramming, and I was like, 92 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:59.759 somebody's like, oh, yeah, she's deaf, guilty like she does. 93 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:03.199 She always says, you know what's up. And so finally 94 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:05.919 I'm like, fuck you all, this is what I look like. 95 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.919 And I sent a picture out and then all of 96 00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:10.800 a sudden the next day and it was something I 97 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:12.960 didn't want to share because I thought I could get 98 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:15.319 a grasp on it, get it figured out, and then 99 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:19.199 come back and be cute again. And I kind of 100 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:23.439 in sharing it, I felt a fucking giant relief and 101 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:24.199 I allowed to cuss. 102 00:04:24.199 --> 00:04:26.759 By the ways, Okay, sorry, do you regret sharing it? 103 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:28.279 I know that you say that's a relief, but at 104 00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:30.079 the time it's like something almost kind of feel like 105 00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:31.959 you were backed in a corner, because it's like, yeah, 106 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:35.439 people are like accusing you of not coming out and 107 00:04:35.439 --> 00:04:38.279 coming forth because you are so you know, voiceful about 108 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:40.000 your opinions and your actions. 109 00:04:40.040 --> 00:04:43.160 And now it's like, I don't regret sharing it, only 110 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:46.519 because I have found a community online of men and 111 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:50.079 women that have the same symptoms and have no answers, 112 00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:53.240 and so we're all now in this group text, and 113 00:04:53.879 --> 00:04:55.959 you know, we're talking to each other about different things 114 00:04:55.959 --> 00:04:58.439 that have happened, and there is something that is going 115 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:00.920 on that no doctors can figure out. And this is 116 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:03.639 all across the United States. I'm sure it's happening in Europe. 117 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:06.720 But everyone I'm talking to online, I found my community. 118 00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:07.720 I have my village. 119 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:08.439 That's cool. 120 00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:10.079 I feel like if anything, that's kind of brought the 121 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:12.079 fresh air where it's like almost where it's like at 122 00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:14.360 some point, I'm sure you kind of maybe feel crazy or. 123 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:16.879 Like I'm just I'm sick of complaining. Yeah, and I 124 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:18.360 like that's what I did to you. I'm like, I'm sorry, 125 00:05:18.399 --> 00:05:21.079 I'm sorry. Like I don't I don't even answer my 126 00:05:21.079 --> 00:05:24.040 phone anymore because when someone says how are you, I 127 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:25.839 don't want to be like wow at the hospital and. 128 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:28.199 Yeah, But I also feel in a sense of like 129 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:30.240 you finding your community and like you being such a 130 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:33.120 voiceable person as an advocacy of maybe figuring out what 131 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:35.959 this really is and busting down the doors and being 132 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:37.839 like no, I am going to keep telling you. And 133 00:05:37.839 --> 00:05:39.000 I mean I'm going to come back, and if it 134 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:41.839 means I'm complaining, then I'm complaining. But this is your health. 135 00:05:41.879 --> 00:05:43.759 You know, you have kids, you have a legacy of 136 00:05:43.800 --> 00:05:46.199 a brand, and you know, a business entrepreneur and all 137 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:48.120 these things where it's like you have something to fight for, 138 00:05:48.199 --> 00:05:50.079 and so everybody else is out there too. It's like 139 00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:52.680 I think it's sometimes I want to give them a 140 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:57.160 voice and fortunate unfortunately to kind of stir the pot 141 00:05:57.319 --> 00:06:01.000 of what's happening really in the metatile or even like 142 00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:03.720 with you know, insurance people too, and just like them 143 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:06.439 not really being as educated as you're supposed to. 144 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:10.279 No, their answerquation, they're like they're very they're old, set 145 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:12.759 in their ways. It's like when someone has cancer, they 146 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:16.040 just throw camo at them and like chemera radiation. That's 147 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:18.199 that's My best friend has cancer, by the way, and 148 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:20.879 that's not like listen, we make fun of it. He's like, oh, 149 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:23.399 now you're sick too. Oh it wasn't about you for 150 00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:24.959 a hot second. You had to make it about you. 151 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:28.040 So we laugh at it and we like we try 152 00:06:28.040 --> 00:06:32.079 to make it funny, but like the whole like honestly, 153 00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:35.279 like just having these women and they's been like have 154 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:37.800 an outlet where you can complain and we can share 155 00:06:37.839 --> 00:06:40.360 pictures that no one's ever going to see, and we 156 00:06:40.399 --> 00:06:44.240 can you know, listen, I might be doing something for 157 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:47.160 these people and for myself that it's going to shine 158 00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:48.920 a light on all of this, or that is the plan. 159 00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:51.439 Do you have any like you know, I know that 160 00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:53.879 things kind of change, and like even yesterday as a setback, 161 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:55.759 I'm sure for like where your growth has kind of 162 00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:57.959 been with this, But is there any kind of plan 163 00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:00.199 on what to do or what's next or is it 164 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.040 just what happens? 165 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:04.079 Well, I mean I might just get on a plane 166 00:07:04.120 --> 00:07:06.040 and go to the Mayo Clinic and not leave. I 167 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:08.399 was like planning to stay at Kaiser. I was trying 168 00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:11.720 not to leave. So this doctor pissed me the fuck off, 169 00:07:11.800 --> 00:07:14.600 like he was so condescending and so rude. And then 170 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:16.199 they did a cat skin and like you have a 171 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:19.240 ton of inflammation, like all in your neck and the 172 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:23.199 reason the door. My other doctor from CEDAR said call 173 00:07:23.319 --> 00:07:26.199 nine one one. She thought it might be meningitis, and 174 00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:30.199 very well could be. They're like, you know, I said, 175 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:32.480 you treat that. How you find that out is like 176 00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:35.240 with a spinal tap. So are you saying you want 177 00:07:35.240 --> 00:07:39.040 a spinal tap? And like you, who wants? But by 178 00:07:39.079 --> 00:07:41.399 the way, I've had one and I want to be better. 179 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:44.120 It's for two fucking years. I want I maybe have 180 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:47.040 like two years of looking hot left. So this is 181 00:07:47.079 --> 00:07:49.519 not hot. It's not been hot for two years. I 182 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:54.399 need to get my groove back. My person needs to 183 00:07:54.439 --> 00:07:54.639 get on. 184 00:07:54.759 --> 00:07:56.800 How do we get your groove at? Brandy? 185 00:07:56.879 --> 00:07:57.120 Girl? 186 00:07:57.199 --> 00:07:59.199 I heard that you know you've been very vocal, even 187 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:02.519 celibate for two years, and I feel like, not my choice. 188 00:08:02.680 --> 00:08:04.959 Well I understand that, but I also feel like me 189 00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:07.959 being Alexis Texas and being in the adult industry and 190 00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:10.439 not anymore. But two years is suck? 191 00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:11.040 Girl? 192 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:12.839 Do you even think about sex anymore? 193 00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:13.639 All of the time? 194 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:14.279 Okay? 195 00:08:14.360 --> 00:08:14.839 It's are you? 196 00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:16.240 Are you masturbating? 197 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:17.240 Oh? Yeah? Okay? 198 00:08:17.319 --> 00:08:18.879 So how often do you masturbate a day? 199 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:19.000 Oh? 200 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:19.639 Every day? 201 00:08:19.800 --> 00:08:23.240 But okay, like so do you feel depends? 202 00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:24.959 That's why every place is the. 203 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:28.240 I need human but I need human touch. I need 204 00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:31.360 to be thrown around. I need I need to feel 205 00:08:31.399 --> 00:08:32.840 like a girl because I feel like I'm such a 206 00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:35.120 boss bitch, like I'm the dad and the mom for 207 00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:35.639 my kids. 208 00:08:35.879 --> 00:08:39.919 Like so you want an alpha male because I'm alpha, 209 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:40.600 you know what I mean. 210 00:08:40.679 --> 00:08:43.080 Like, I'm like you, like we're boss witches, we do shit. 211 00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:46.159 I want to feel like a girl, and but I 212 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:48.200 also want to feel pretty. And this is the most 213 00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:52.679 insecure I've ever been in my life where I don't 214 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:54.879 want to I ically, I don't want to leave the house. 215 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:57.600 The last thing I'm thinking about is like having someone 216 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:01.159 look at my face. I mean, I guess they could 217 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:02.080 put a pillow over me. 218 00:09:02.600 --> 00:09:07.480 Girl. No, I think it's one of those things. And 219 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:11.639 it's kind of like a interesting because I could people 220 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:13.440 could say so many things to you and then it 221 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:17.679 doesn't relate. You know, you're not going through what you're 222 00:09:17.720 --> 00:09:19.639 going personally through. But I also feel like too, it's 223 00:09:19.679 --> 00:09:23.480 like a learning lessons of that sometimes the outside beauty 224 00:09:23.559 --> 00:09:25.720 is like less important than what's inside your heart and 225 00:09:25.759 --> 00:09:28.120 like who your true and core is. It's like working 226 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:30.159 on that in your self worth is like what's on 227 00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:32.639 the outside that's for everybody else. For you is like 228 00:09:32.679 --> 00:09:34.480 I think you're a beautiful bright light and I think 229 00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:36.960 that that doesn't have anything to do unfortunately with your 230 00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:39.639 health right now, it's making you feel like here, but 231 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:41.399 I feel like there's a there will come a time 232 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:43.399 where it's like, you know what, like this is just 233 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:45.240 who I am and how I am. I saying people 234 00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:47.600 go through accidents and when they stay married with somebody 235 00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:49.919 doing these things where it's sometimes those things are a 236 00:09:49.919 --> 00:09:52.519 little bit more vain, where it's like I don't think, 237 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:54.480 I feel like we kind of mis see what's going 238 00:09:54.519 --> 00:09:55.320 on with where it's like. 239 00:09:55.759 --> 00:09:58.360 I think for me, like just coming up like I 240 00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:00.840 uaster model for like my life and then I met 241 00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:03.440 this handsome actor. I got married, and it was always 242 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:06.600 about looks, looked looks and then and I always would 243 00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:08.840 say to my kids, because they're very handsome, they would 244 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:11.039 look in the mirror for I'm like, guys, looks fade 245 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:13.440 like that was my favorite thing to say, looks fake guys. 246 00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:16.120 It's about the inside if the inside doesn't match you outside, 247 00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:18.960 and it does for them, but they are a little cocky. 248 00:10:20.159 --> 00:10:23.240 But I did think that there's a purpose for this, 249 00:10:23.399 --> 00:10:26.159 like I am supposed to help these A couple of 250 00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:28.559 these women that I've been talking with have had this 251 00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:29.240 go around. 252 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:31.720 For six years, wow, six years. 253 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.159 And they've been what they've sent me like what that 254 00:10:34.240 --> 00:10:36.919 they've tried, you know, home remedies and all they have 255 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:39.320 helped more than anything a doctor has done for me. 256 00:10:39.559 --> 00:10:42.200 Yeah, so I'm you know, for me, I'm very like 257 00:10:42.279 --> 00:10:45.399 spiritual and like in the EmPATH and those realms of 258 00:10:45.399 --> 00:10:48.320 things and even you know, I take fourteen different environments. 259 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:50.399 But it's like from Siemas to the taxi Doyle and 260 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:52.320 all these things where it's like, I think the more 261 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:55.679 holistic time nowadays is showing us, especially now that all 262 00:10:55.720 --> 00:10:57.799 these incidents are happening with medical things and like the 263 00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:00.840 greed of what that industry is right of where it's like. 264 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:02.639 Do you really want to help people or do you 265 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:03.600 want to help people suffer? 266 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:05.639 Because there are like medicines out there that could do 267 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:08.039 those things that are on a homeopathic type of No. 268 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:10.720 Absolutely, I'm not having access to them, right. 269 00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:12.840 I think that don't have insurance or you know, I 270 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:15.639 can afford the remedy or like the pills or the 271 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:17.639 steroids or whatever the things that you need to like 272 00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:18.399 kind of fight. 273 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:20.080 I would say, like I told my kids, if I 274 00:11:20.120 --> 00:11:23.519 was a Kardashian, I would have been fixed two days. 275 00:11:23.879 --> 00:11:26.159 This would not be happening for two years. Yeah, I 276 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:29.320 would be at the best doctors in Switzerland. Or where 277 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:32.480 the fuck ever, and it would have just been fixed. 278 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:35.159 I just feel like, you know, when you don't have 279 00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:38.919 the access to proper medical care because you can't afford it, 280 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:41.879 that's when you really do have to turn to community 281 00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:44.840 and social media and all of these things, and because 282 00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:47.279 that's what that's all you have, you know, it can 283 00:11:47.320 --> 00:11:49.600 be a little bit like jauntao isolated. 284 00:11:49.639 --> 00:11:50.639 Like you said, you don't want to go out, you 285 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:51.399 don't want to say things. 286 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:54.360 But at least like in like Computer I mean, or 287 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:56.639 like the computer Keyboard Warriors, how they say it's like 288 00:11:56.799 --> 00:11:59.039 they're positively for you in this sense where I feel 289 00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:01.559 like it's kind of cool that you they've found a 290 00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:03.440 community for you to kind of not necessarily a leader, 291 00:12:03.480 --> 00:12:05.600 but to kind of bring them together to show. 292 00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:07.240 I want to find out what's wrong with all of us, 293 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:09.519 all those things like I want. I feel like this 294 00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:12.960 is probably happening to me partly because I'm supposed to 295 00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:15.279 use my platform for good, Like I don't know that 296 00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:17.720 I necessarily have done that, And I mean, like I 297 00:12:17.879 --> 00:12:19.960 tried to do try to live a great life and 298 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:22.120 like be sweet and be a good person, but I 299 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:25.240 haven't like really used it. I mean I did raise 300 00:12:25.240 --> 00:12:28.080 a lot of money for some charities and whatnot. But 301 00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:31.000 now that this is a difference to right personal well, 302 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:33.279 and it's sad that it took that for me to 303 00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:35.919 want to use this platform for that. But I do 304 00:12:36.039 --> 00:12:38.120 always want to try to help everyone when I can. 305 00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:41.320 But of course, like having it personally happening to me 306 00:12:41.399 --> 00:12:45.360 right now has made me like this journey. Now, I 307 00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:47.759 feel like I have weight on my shoulders because these 308 00:12:47.799 --> 00:12:50.639 other people are depending on me and I want to 309 00:12:50.679 --> 00:12:53.279 do this for them, and that. 310 00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:54.320 I'm going to make it get done. 311 00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:56.799 Yeahirl, you're gonna get it done. 312 00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:59.240 You're gonna get it done. Let's get back, Yes, girls, 313 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:01.480 get back to getting back because. 314 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:03.840 Two years, Like, girl, that's not my choy. 315 00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:05.840 Like I said, I just do you remember the last 316 00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:07.360 Yes I do. 317 00:13:09.159 --> 00:13:10.559 I don't, but I could. 318 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:11.720 Was it good? 319 00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:13.679 Yes? It was very good? 320 00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:17.600 Okay, so why don't you that's the last one you had? 321 00:13:17.879 --> 00:13:20.399 Like for me, it's like I don't have to watch something. 322 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:22.480 I could just go back to my experiences. 323 00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:26.200 I really don't like him. Okay, So it was it 324 00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:28.159 was like great sex, but bad human. 325 00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:31.600 Toxic, So that's what sometimes makes the sex kind of good. 326 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:35.519 Yeah, it was totally good, but like there's no empathy there, 327 00:13:35.679 --> 00:13:37.360 like like he's like, you want to fuck, and like 328 00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:39.639 I don't want to fuck when I like when I'm 329 00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:42.279 he's all about the aesthetic, okay, you know what I mean? 330 00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:44.720 And and my whole thing is like I like getting 331 00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:47.039 dressed up. I like I do like a little performance 332 00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:49.039 art and then you like to put. 333 00:13:48.919 --> 00:13:51.480 On a show. I love it, Okay, I'd like to 334 00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:54.039 wear outfits. 335 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:56.960 I buy lingerie for myself and more so when I 336 00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:58.960 don't have boyfriends, which is the weirdest thing. 337 00:13:58.960 --> 00:13:59.399 I don't care. 338 00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:01.759 I will walk around laundry in my house in a 339 00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:02.480 robe all that time. 340 00:14:02.519 --> 00:14:05.960 I still do, and like my kids are like, mom, no, 341 00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:08.799 they just put it away. Could you put a bram? 342 00:14:08.919 --> 00:14:09.600 My friends a point? 343 00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:11.519 But I'm like, oh, I feel like there has to 344 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:13.559 be like a way that this taxes could help, you know, 345 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:16.399 like get your groove back. I feel like, yeah, it's fine. 346 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:19.399 What is like your standards and requirement for like the 347 00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:21.840 next one that you're gonna fuck? Is it because they're 348 00:14:21.879 --> 00:14:23.960 not like putting it out there? Or is it do 349 00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:25.480 you want it to be a booty called You're you 350 00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:26.799 looking for something serious? 351 00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:30.279 I'm not a start anything else from having sex for 352 00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:33.919 two years. Like I'm just I'm feeling really insecure about 353 00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:37.320 my my face okay, and like it will just sink 354 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:39.559 in your turn great at any point and you don't 355 00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:44.600 get to choose when it happens, and it's God forbid 356 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:47.279 that happens. And I'm like, then you just leave, just 357 00:14:47.440 --> 00:14:48.879 reverse cowboy the whole time. 358 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:53.480 Yeah, pretty much doggy, Like there's other ways. 359 00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:55.080 That's not Saturday. 360 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:58.639 I like also, like a romance, it just has to 361 00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:01.679 start like a little bit romantic. I'll tell you a 362 00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:02.679 lot more about this later. 363 00:15:02.840 --> 00:15:05.320 So you need to like you need like four play. 364 00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:08.080 I love for play. Yeah, but I mean like ultimately, 365 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:10.159 I want to get what I want to what I want? 366 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:11.399 What are you wanting to get? 367 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:12.600 I want to get fucked properly. 368 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:16.639 What is getting fucked properly means you just or No, 369 00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:18.759 I want to make I totally want to make out, 370 00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:21.879 like make out, makeout like all of the things. But 371 00:15:21.919 --> 00:15:23.039 that sounds like love making. 372 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:27.879 No, I'm there's no love there. No, I just really 373 00:15:27.879 --> 00:15:29.519 love kissing. Like I've made up with all of my 374 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:32.519 girlfriends may not band it, they're all like completely straight. 375 00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:35.039 I just thought I get drunk and I start kissing everyone. 376 00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:37.200 Okay, and so a lot of college girlfriends like you, 377 00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:38.919 and then they'd be the next day it'd be like, oh, 378 00:15:38.919 --> 00:15:40.960 we never kiss. I'm like, I have pictures, bitch, do. 379 00:15:40.840 --> 00:15:44.960 Not like, well, actually, can we take that hard hour? No? 380 00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:48.480 But like I've always just been like waste up. Well, 381 00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:51.519 I don't even know anymore because now I've been with women. 382 00:15:51.559 --> 00:15:55.120 But like before I had been with women, I always 383 00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:57.480 to joke that I was a waste up lesband okay, 384 00:15:57.559 --> 00:16:00.159 and then because I just I'm just very attractive, too 385 00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:00.720 beautiful women. 386 00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:02.279 And then there was a woman that you kiss that 387 00:16:02.360 --> 00:16:03.240 made your pea. 388 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:05.000 Wet, and then you wanted to know there was a 389 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:07.399 guy that fucking broke my heart. I decided to just 390 00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:10.960 try the whole girl show nanigans and it was good. 391 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:15.519 It was like, great you would. Yeah, I have done 392 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:18.919 it again, and I like, I like it, But I 393 00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:20.360 still like I love men. 394 00:16:20.679 --> 00:16:22.759 So you could fuck women but not be in a 395 00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:23.879 relationship with women. 396 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:25.559 Yeah, And I think that women. 397 00:16:25.639 --> 00:16:28.360 Because I'm like that work too much any one of me. 398 00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:30.120 But I like to fuck you and somebody be. 399 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:32.559 The boss of me. Yeah, exactly, in the same Yeah, 400 00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:37.440 I like that please don't text me all day long 401 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:39.799