Speaker 1: Have you been to Leo's Bakery and Deli and East
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your sandwich cravings. Get the Cubano tell them Billified said
to have the Cubano sandwich, fresh baked bread, hand crafted pastries,
deli favorites, and desserts like Canoli's that'll make you rethink
your self control. It's all waiting for you. So what's
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good day for Leo's. Because the best thing about Leo's
is everything. When your old career gives you lemons, throwing
some ice mix in some vodka.
Speaker 2: We call it a podcast from the Mac of All
Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Kreisler, Dots
geep Ram.
Speaker 1: It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast. Well, hello and welcome,
Thanks for getting your pot on, Thanks for telling a friend.
That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship.
Today's episode is going to be a little bit different
and honestly, I think really special. I've never done anything
like this. I've been encouraged to do some solo podcasts.
Somebody reached out to me and go, I think you
need to just be you in the room sometimes, so
we'll see how that goes. But this is my birthday week.
I am turning fifty four, and I birthdays really have
never meant anything really to me. I think as a kid,
I used to tease my sons when they were younger.
I would say, hey, you know, when you turn thirteen,
we stop celebrating your birthday. What we start celebrating is
your achievement day. Whatever you did that is great, Like
you know, we'll celebrate the day that you finished Cub Scouts,
or will celebrate the day you hit a home run
or the day you made a pick in a game,
and that'll be the day we celebrate you. On the
year I did not go over well, but I just
to me, it was kind of nothing. What did I do?
I was born? I've always felt like the real hero
of that day is your mom. She's the one that
did all the work that day, brought you into the
world and has been by your side ever since. Right,
So today I invited my mother to join me on
the podcast for a conversation, and we're going to talk
about the day I was born, of course, right the
journey our family's been on and some of the wisdom
that she has gained along the way. Now my mom
is also and we've talked about on the podcast a
level three Reiki healers, So we may even get into
a little energy and healing and a few things that
I think will leave you hopefully inspired. That's really what
I want to do here. And of course I want
to honor my dad as well, who passed away a
little more than a month ago, like a month and
a day. And even though my parents weren't married, they
spent thirty five years building a life together and their
story is a huge part of mine. So this episode
is about family, love, resilience, and hopefully we get a
few laughs in there. So with that, I bring on Mom, Marge,
Hi Mom, Hi Bill. Well, I know and I I
never was like the birthday week person you. We used
to call it the high Holy Days with you, and
it was wonderful. You had the greatest birthday celebrations you did.
We all went up to Cape Cod, we all, I mean,
those were really really fun, fun times to the point
where like my older sons, they love that. They talk
about that, yeah to this day. So that's always special, especially.
Speaker 3: The older I get. You have to celebrate everything you
can because you never know when that's going to run
out and you're not going to be able to celebrate anymore.
And I think that's extremely important to celebrate. And also,
you know, when you were talking about birthdays and being
that important, I'm thinking, oh my god, all those cakes,
all those stars.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, you did. But I'm saying, like, actually
got older. You didn't do them when I was fourteen,
fifteen years old, I didn't get those cakes. I think
I got them up to like twelve, and that seems
about right. Let's celebrate that. And then after that I
used to tease the boys, so now we got accomplishment day,
you better do something. That's what we're going to celebrate.
Of course, that did not go over because anything I said,
anything that I said that would even be slightly joking
or I thought that was a pretty good premise, get
out there and hustle, but it was always shot down.
It was shot down and they went you know, they
had a committee behind them. So I'll ask you kind
of this what do you remember most about the day
I was born, which was August twenty second, and the
days around that kind of I don't know if there
was chaos. I don't know. I always think now when
I look and I'm sorry that I'm still talking, and
I asked you a question, but you were twenty four
years old.
Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, I had finished graduate school,
I had just worked a year, and it was almost
like a baby having a baby in ways. Yeah, it
was scared. And that summer it was very hot. We
had a little apartment in Hyde Park, and I remember
if I went to the movies and saw hospital scene,
I cried because I'd never been in the hospital before,
and now I'm going going to go to the hospital.
Speaker 1: Though, So oh my god.
Speaker 3: And you know what I used to think, there's no
stopping this, Like when it starts, it's going to happen.
You can't change your mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but the day you were born, I'm just thinking
to me, it's so funny because I don't remember too
much chaos. But I think your dad, if you were here,
would say there was a lot of chaos because my
parents were at the house and went into labor, and
they didn't go home. My mother wasn't feeling well and
she stayed, I'm not going to go into too much
of that. So anyway, we went off to the hospital
and it was a very long labor and for some reason,
most of mine were and you were a very big baby,
which we didn't realize at the time, but you were
ten pounds and I was trying to deliver naturally and
it was at Vassar Hospital. And so then they said,
because I was having a hard time with the natural,
why didn't I think of a spinal And all of
this was so scary. And now because of the spinal,
because it was fifty four years ago, your father couldn't
come into the room. Yeah, so you know, now you're
in I'm in with two men, a doctor Cohne and
this is doctor Shannon, who is the anesthesiologist, and then
can get you at and so you were this little
cone head because they're using forceps pushing on me on
the shoulders. And then when you finally came out, he goes, oh, no,
wonder no. So that was that was a lot, you know,
and it was a lot to recover from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but.
Speaker 3: I remember when I first looked at you, and you know,
you look at a ten pam baby compared to other
little babies, and it's like having a three one though,
and you were just beautiful in my eyes, just beautiful,
and it was it was very exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1: That's uh, what's that?
Speaker 3: And it was good to have it all over.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I can only imagine that would be like because I, yeah,
I remember that even with my guys too, when they
were born that you uh, yeah, it's an exciting and
odd time. You don't know kind of what to expect,
especially with the first one, and you start to worry
a bit. And of course this was you know, so
many years later or thirty year years later practically that
you could everybody could be in the room.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, remember I went out and I was bitching to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that was the thing. And Dad was a
real rock for me, and he was through all of
the births. He really was, because I remember during Katie's
birth and we always know with me it's going to
take a while, he wanted to run home and get
the camera and I wouldn't let him out of my side.
I just yeah, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how about as a as a as a kid.
Did you see any hints of what I would become?
I don't know if I would have become.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think one of the funny things was, well,
just like thinking with your birth dad was off because
he was a teacher. Now he had worked that summer
at a rehab center. And that was another thing that
had my mind blown because I thought I had a
worked with handicapped kids, that for sure, we're going to
have a handicapped kid, because who could be better than too?
You know?
Speaker 1: So well you did? I mean.
Speaker 3: I don't think I did, but anyway, I so Dad
went back to work and I remember being, oh my god,
now I'm on my own. But it was fun. I
really really enjoyed it. And then I went back on
the Jewish holidays because my district was open, and I
went in and I subbed. And so you were about
six weeks old, and I'm saying to Dad, just talk
to him, talk to him about everything. He's gone. I
don't know what to say. No, And I, oh, you
tell him everything. At tensions, deck could did this. So
then we had recordings and at six weeks or less,
you could track, I could keep your attention. You we
would make visual eye contact and you could imitate sounds.
So yeah, I think from that point on, I always
knew you were a talker.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a talker. I got in trouble in
first grade for talking and I had to stand in
the corner. Yeah, I was. I was always talking. And
then yeah, I don't remember, like growing up, I was
always I think until about tenth grade, I was pretty
well behaved, I thought. So I was like I was
afraid of getting in trouble. And then something happened where
I just figured out that nobody knew what they were doing.
Like I don't know what it was. It was like
this almost like some kind of divine intervention, Like I
just realized, oh my god, they're all full of shit.
And I didn't mean you, I meant adults. They had
no idea, they were a mess, they couldn't figure things out,
and I'm like, why am I listening to these people?
So I just decided, all right, I'm just gonna have fun.
And that's probably been one of my biggest downfalls is
I just like to have fun, that's it. And I
don't know when I say biggest downfall, Like, yeah, I
don't know if I if you had focused more. Would
you be somewhere else? Would you I don't know. I
don't know the answer to those things. I don't really
sweat that, but I certainly I've I've been told over
the years like, oh, you could have been, you know,
from different people along the way, and I go, eh,
I had fund It's important. I've had it, is it is,
And I had fun. I do remember I got I
wish I could remember what great I was in when
I tried to skip school and go fishing. And then
you came popping out. I'm waving the bus on and
I'm standing back because the garage was set, it was
attached to the house, but just sept back enough and
trying to hide there. And and how how like out
of all the days, you never came by the door.
Speaker 3: You know, no, you all think like you never did this.
I was watching the bus come and drive. Well you
could look from inside the windows, you know, it wasn't
a big house, or I could work from the kitchen
to there and take a peek in something.
Speaker 1: Day was like I got busted. I so badly just
wanted to go up and just spend the day hanging
out by the pond, fishing. I didn't care. It was
just a great.
Speaker 3: Day, that's the thing. And even like the things, a
lot of the things that you got in trouble for
later on and stuff, and you know, being the one
that that it was all really Tom Sawyer adventures almost
like it was just kids in the country.
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I agree. I would say that
that's a very very accurate statement. There was nothing that
was That's why even with like my guys, I go,
there's nothing that anybody's ever done that's so far out
of bounds that you go, oh my god, what is this.
I'm going to say that there's you know, if it
was a Venn diagram, there are. We may be on
the outer edges of certain things, but overall everything's kind
of right there and it works. Yeah. You know, with
with Dad's passing, and certainly he had a colorful way
of recalling things.
Speaker 3: He did.
Speaker 1: He had a very colorful way.
Speaker 3: A good memory. I was thinking the other day what
we need and I did something to Kate. I said, oh,
we need to ask Dad.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, right, all he did. He remembered everything. But
is there like thirty five years you guys were together,
and what what did you learn from that, and what
do you kind of carry forward? I guess would be
a question. I know they're a little deep and maybe
hard to answer, but.
Speaker 3: Or things you wouldn't answer here, you.
Speaker 1: Know, what's eh or say.
Speaker 3: Or things you wouldn't say here, you know?
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh on the podcast, is what you mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh? Sorry, Well I didn't mean like that. I was
looking for a pot time. I didn't know if there
was something, because sometimes there are art things. I mean,
he he was funny, I mean I I he was
extremely funny. And I do remember, like at the dinner table,
because he read the Mismanners Guy to perfect etiquette, so
there were no sounds that emanated from below the neck.
And god, we would just rip farts. And I'll never
forget the time you jumped up. Do you remember what
you did?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: They did. And I don't know whether to slap you
or and.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean I ripped a fart that was just
it was award winning and yes you screamed.
Speaker 4: I don't know why to slap your face or what
your paper towel. And he just sat there like I
think he was there. He just sat there. Yeah, and I.
Speaker 1: Couldn't breathe of course, I found that absolutely so funny.
Speaker 3: I think, you know, in the thirty five years, you
you do get a understanding that everyone is different and
has a very different perspective of looking at the very
same thing. And I think the good thing is when
you can bring those perspectives together, you see things clear
as a whole. And that doesn't always happen, but you know,
it was good. And he that did have a knack
for really seeing the complete picture a lot of the times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was very very intelligent, I I yeah, but
it was very perceptive, right, you could kind of see
things something.
Speaker 3: He had a wonderful sense of humor. Now it could
go on the road side and all that, but.
Speaker 1: Nothing about that.
Speaker 3: But you know, he to really be humorous, you have
to be intelligent, and he really had a handle on
all of that, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, he was so funny. He was so funny,
and he was so fun when he wanted to be
you know, my my thing. And you know, for thirty
five years, you guys being married, and even beyond that,
it is certainly with the kids and the grandkids and everybody,
And there was never any thing he was at your
house last Thanksgiving. There was always right so there was
never any animosity. But the thing that I always had
trouble with with with dad, and it was one of
these things where I've always tried to reconcile with myself,
was there was this wildly hilariously HBO special funny guy
and then there was absolute like by the book, there
was no wiggle room, there was no screwing around. If
this is the way it was. It was extremely serious
or extremely funny, and there didn't seem to be much
of a middle ground.
Speaker 3: Yeah wrong, Marl Code too, Yes, yes, code. So right now,
the fair, the Dutchess Count of the fair is going on,
and you your birthday was during the fair and it
will be again. Tried it and you would turn twelve. Okay. Now,
I came from a family where you know, it's you know,
my father's scooty and oh no oh yeah yeah yeah
full price when you were twelve. Yeah, and in the
long run, those were probably very Yeah.
Speaker 1: He always said that too. He was you know, well,
he was like, yeah, the kids were paying attention and
they were noticing these types of things and that sort
of thing. Yeah. Interesting, That's something I love the idea
of because we don't I think and I don't want
to say until it's too late, because I never think
it's too late. But I don't think sometimes we appreciate
another person's perspective, we get annoyed and we argue, and
those things become that and I think sometimes it's hard,
it's very hard. But I've been, you know, like I
don't know if I got it from you or what,
but I go into these weird things, and I spend
a lot of time writing and thinking a lot, either
early mornings or late at night. And I think sometimes
that you have to tap into a higher frequency and
then decide what your emotions are, because if you don't,
then the other person's perspective that you may not agree
with is just going to bring you down. And so
if you stay up there, you might actually be open
to oh shit, okay, you know that, that's a great
that's a great way of looking at it. I didn't
think of that and instead of like resistance resistance resistance,
which I think sometimes can be a learned thing. And
his way was really my way or the highway many often.
Speaker 3: Often and there are a lot of people like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean more of an I would say today
an old school philosophy, you know, I'm I'm sometimes amazed at.
Speaker 3: Things the church enters into that too. Yes, yes, and
it was their way or no way, you know, and
so yeah, things didn't matter on things that didn't matter
that like with the church, you know, yeah, and some
times with a lot of us on things that we're holding.
So when you step back and if you take the
perspective of is this going to matter in ten years?
Is this going to matter tomorrow? You get a different
look at things. If you can pull yourself away from
the emotion of the minute.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing I always will say often on
the podcast, or knee jerk reaction is usually the wrong reaction.
And then if you can give yourself what I'll call
the buffer or the way to beat a beat in there,
to actually go, hang on, what is this really? But
we live in that world and that's the fun, right
if you can step back and have somebody kind of go,
you know, have this knee jerk reaction that's sort of
explosive and cartoonish. I mean, the that's fun. I don't
have to think like I go you know, you I
feared him, he was very Uh sometimes have you handed
and and not necessarily a good way. I think it
always came from a very good perspective or a very
loving perspective. I think, if you got down to it.
But then I think the ship I did, and like
the fart batder in the coffee and I go, who
does that? Uh? You know? Or when he fell on
the fire and we're calling him to see how long
they answer the phone. That was actually I think Kevin's idea,
or the farting and zip black bags and the different things, Mike,
I think I think I just told this story the
other day of like one of my favorites was Katie
just sitting you know, you're He said, you were, as
he would say, shewing my ass out, that your room's master,
you got to clean the gun. Yeah, that you were
all over him. But hey, I've told her to pick
up this room a million times and she's not doing it.
And so he said, I'm gonna take the door off,
and he gave her a time that he was going
to do it if it's not cleaned up by X time.
And Kate didn't do it, and then she just sat.
But I did she peel off clothes like every ten
minutes until she was in her underwear, sitting by the
door saying.
Speaker 3: Hi to him in a place that he certainly didn't
want to walk by, and so he was sitting like that.
Speaker 1: No won, Yeah, she won. He put the doorback on.
He used to say to me, I was time, Willie.
You gotta know when you lost, you lost, and that
was that was funny. Well, you bring up the church,
and I've had lots of thoughts about religion, and I thought,
you know, if we all followed the Ten Commandments, nothing else,
just nothing else, it'd be a pretty nice planet. We
were all, I think everybody would be pretty good. But
the rigidity of church. And then what always lost me
a little bit was Henry the A switching, you know,
to Protestantism because he wanted basically, he would just want
to have sex with Queen Anne or whoever was one
of his wives, and the church wouldn't a knowledge, So
he switched the entire country get switched for one guy
in his penis Yeah, I mean really, And then years
later it becomes so now we have a war in
Ireland because Southern Ireland didn't follow and they stayed Catholic,
which is where our families are from. And we still
have family there, and then it became so bad that
when we switched, Dad wrote a resignation. I wish I
could wish I could see it, the resignation letter to
the Catholic. Yeah, he wrote a resignation letter to the
Catholic I don't know. I have no idea that I wonder.
He might have given it to Patrick Colla, or he
might have also sent a copy to the Archdioceis in
New York. Who knows. With him, he couldn't done anything,
but he wrote. He wrote a resignation letter, and very
I'm sure, very thought out and philosophically as to why.
And I, as a child, I'm seven, you were told
that you weren't getting enough out of the church. It
wasn't his Bible based. So we go Protestant and then
your father doesn't talk to you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Which then when I learned what kind of the history go,
this is the religion is? Is it screwed up? It's
screwed up a little bit.
Speaker 3: I went down to talk to my father that day
and he had been grocery shoping it was porn ran
and I had a ring coat on, and he and
I came in at the same time. And he's not
asking me to sit down, and you know what Grandma
was like, Edy gotta ask the poor girl to take
her coat off. You know. Meanwhile he is taking grape
troops out of the bag and smashing them on the
wall in the kitchen. I had never seen anything like this.
Speaker 1: This is all over religion, this is all over the church.
Speaker 3: And then he retired and I was not invited me
or my family to the retirement party, none of them.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, you see how deep that runch. And the
only reason I sort of bring it up because I
think one it was to me a very interesting family
dynamic because I loved being at your parents' house. I
used to go down for a week every summer. Your
mom was one of my favorite people on the planet,
and I love that she wasn't everybody's favorite person on
the planet, but I just I got such a kick
out of her. I did because all the stuff that
I think would upset people or whatever, I saw it
as kind of just cartoonish and nonsense and just sort
of filling your day with stuff. But deep underneath there
was nothing but love and just a genuine, genuine family
oriented person, artists sensitive soul. I really felt that way
about your mom. I really did. But I always thought, boy,
you you stick to religion so deeply that it is.
I just don't feel like that was the way it
was supposed to be. I felt like sometimes religion became
a way to control people it was, and that's not
the way. And I think that that.
Speaker 3: Was one of the last talks I had with that
we were talking about religion, and I said to him,
you know, it's not the way we were brought up.
And I don't believe. I mean, that's all you can say.
You don't believe. I really believe if you look at
what Jesus, Buddha, any of the Greek philosophers preached and lived,
it's about love. It's about being behind to each other's
taking care of the people around you. I don't think
it's about this harsh judgment. But the church has made
plenty of money. I'm scaring the trap at it.
Speaker 1: Well, fire and brimstone for sure, right, you know that
was that that that was the fire and brimstone, and
that was the thing. And I always think, I don't
know that that that's really about it. You being a
level three reiki healer, and I've talked to.
Speaker 3: Others, I'm a master level four.
Speaker 1: When did when did that happen? And why wasn't I
invited to that graduation party? Oh you're a master level four.
I thought you were only a level three when you
did it on.
Speaker 3: Me, you were all the way through.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, good, well, I'm glad. I'm glad for
the correction. Uh. That is just really about energy. But
there are people who would kind of look at it
as you know, against the religion or whatever. And to me,
there are two separate things or two things that should
be congruent, absolutely.
Speaker 3: And it is. It's all about energy, and everything is
made of energy, and you find it more and more
and sciences agreement with that, and it's and our body
is an amazing, amazing piece of machinery, piece of whatever
we were put together. And we do have the potential
to heal ourselves in many instances, or at least approach
things with much more of a calmness than we do.
And reiki just helps open energy channels and lets the
energy flow more evenly through the body. That's what Ricky
is about, and it is becoming much more mainstream of
certainly use it in the hospitals. They're using it in
hospice centers. The one I'm on the entertainment committee for
the condos, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have an entertainment committee there.
Speaker 3: We do, and we have different speakers and we have
parties and we're having a sound healing in.
Speaker 1: A week with the balls yep.
Speaker 3: And then on November eighth, I am bringing in some
of my reiki friends and we're doing reiki healings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh boy, Okay, how are people what is their
reaction when you say that you're level four or a
master reiki healer.
Speaker 3: Well, when people don't understand, it's funny, you know. And
some of my close friends they do kind of look
at you, and then you try to explain. And then
a few of the people we've done it on and
you know, just even the relaxation is so great that
people appreciate that, but it's more because of non understanding
than anything else.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Ignorance, Yeah, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3: That's that's which is the thing with everything.
Speaker 1: That's what's led to wars and all right, just absolute ignorance.
Uh why what what made you pursue this? Because I
don't recall this kind of woo woo when when I
was growing.
Speaker 3: Up, do you remember Dorothy Chanting, Well.
Speaker 1: I do remember your your friend Darthu Taya darth Darthea
Taya Taya came down and she was from Syracuse, and
I loved her. She was like she just there was
something about that woman. She had energy and all she did. Yeah,
and she she looked she was she was older than.
Speaker 3: You, seventeen years old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there was something cool about her look and all.
Like she was very attractive in her way. Everything was
flowing and.
Speaker 3: Came through those things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and yes, the Omega Institute, that's right. I
couldn't remember the name of that.
Speaker 3: The other day I went over to some things that
Omega also was dabbling along the way. But then when
I retired and had time, I kept thinking, you know,
I need to look into this Riki further. And then,
and I truly believe nothing is by coincidence. I was
with pack Gelleck, who was one of the furthest people
from Reikie really, and so I'm sitting with very straight
out of dinner, and she has a friend come in
who was a reading teacher in Hyde Park who's still
a friend of mine, Barbara Danna. And Barbara was studying Reikie.
So Barbara took me. We linked up and I went
with her and we went over to this orang Jeanette,
who was a nurse offering the thing. But when I
first went, and I was very very nervous, and I
was just coming in to observe and I didn't want
anybody going near me put in their hands. But the
woman that was teaching it said we can stand around,
but she was going to do it. But before that,
they sat down and did some prayer, you know, prayer. Yeah,
prayers are meditation all that, but they did tinctures. So
they were all opening their mouth and she's putting things
on their tongue, and all I could think of is,
oh my god, way to barbaritation.
Speaker 1: Jim Jones, he was like, oh my God.
Speaker 3: And to this day, because I'm with the same group
of women and you talk to me Saturday, we laugh
about that and the way, you know, it took me
a long time to to realize and be comfortable with
it all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's very opposite. I mean, there, you you
were Catholic educated or through undergrad right, and then Syracuse
wouldn't be no religious.
Speaker 3: And that was still private. The first time I really
looked into a public school was to work.
Speaker 1: Uh what does it taught you about people? Reiki?
Speaker 3: I think you see the sameness in people you know,
and I think you see how we all really are
the same. And you see the fears, the fears and people.
So you see things that are blocking people, and you
see the many obstacles that so many people. Well, life
isn't a smooth run for anybody. You know, everybody has
different right, so you see that, especially as people are sharing,
and I think it just that it once again brings
it all down to that we are all energy. We
all have fears and dance, but we are all capable
of love, and we have a great resilience. I think
that's really really I've noticed that that the resilience of
people is remarkable resilience.
Speaker 1: I just saw it on the Camera's happening. What's happening
with my head? Uh yeah, I would say that that's
probably very very true. Uh, I think, yeah, I just
think that you gotta so it sounds so corny, becuse
we live in a see it, touch it tasted world.
So I think people don't trust things that they can't see.
And I can't see the energy, right, I can't see it.
I know that what's turning the light on, but that's
got conduits and wires and I understand that, but this
is like out there, what are you talking about? And
I think that you take it back to just anybody
who walks in a room and either lights it up
right there's a term, or or funks it up right.
It's like a green cloud came in and you you
know you that's energy. That's energy, and that's a dominant.
Speaker 3: Energy about some of that at lunch today. And I
think the thing right now, especially in the world we're in,
is we have to try to keep putting out as
much positive energy as possible. Right, negative energy just as.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a lower frequency because I always think, like
you know, there was a very mean Thomas Aquinas I
don't remember. I always enjoyed these classes, even though I
was told I got gentlemen speech I which is my dad.
That was my dad would say to I, you know,
the very simple philosophy that the being that is in
the trees, in the chair that you're sitting on, that
is in you, is this and that there is no
such thing as evil because it has all come from
the source. So if there's no such thing as evil.
There's only a privation of good to which I've said
is a lower frequency. Now there are people who will
tell you that there are people that have attachments. I
know people. I mean, I could get you into some
really really weird stuff if you wanted to and have Well, yeah,
and I'm not saying that that it's not right. I
think it's there. But you can decide every day where
you want to be, you know. And I think your
emotions are your guidance system. And sometimes you got to
go inside to realize what's blocking and what's the fear.
And if you can go in and find the fear
and just sort of see that it's bullshit, you can
you can let it go. And I think that like
there was always this thing of let go and let God,
and no one ever did because they couldn't see God
and they probably really weren't sure what they're doing. And
you know, it's only it becomes like, well, it's only me.
How am I gonna How am I gonna do this?
I don't know. I think love and resilience are great
things to have learned from reiki.
Speaker 3: And we worked so hard at trying to fix things
and we're spending our wheels most of the time.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3: Capable, very I mean I've done that many times. But
if you could relaxed into the situation and kind of
let things play out, it often works much to your benefit.
Speaker 1: I would Yeah, I think that's true. You know how
many times have you've been pressing, press and pressing for
something and then you put it aside and everything works
out or something comes I mean, I think people can
all think of examples of that in their life and
how it happened. I wish you were more like this
when we were little.
Speaker 5: Know, no, no, no, that sounds horrible to say, like
that's a horrible thing to say, but like it's just
such a different way of you know, doing things.
Speaker 3: I have to take the time. See. The other thing
is and I think, and it's hard. You're raising kids,
you know, two people are working. You know, I'm not
making I'm not talking I'm talking about people today. It's hard.
But if you can take the time. And one of
the things I found the most most helpful is to
try to take some time aside and meditate. But one
of the things I've found really really helpful, look like
an advertisement but it's the five minute journal heard of it,
and it just sets the tone for the day because
in the morning, you list three things you're grateful for
as soon as you're getting your feet out of the bed,
and it's a different focus because now you're focusing on
positive and you're focusing on what you're grateful. And it
could be that I woke up right right, that I
slept well, that the sun is shining, and then three
things that you think would make today great, so you
know what you have ahead of you for the day.
But if you look at that and then a daily
affirmation about yourself, something positive about you, which is something
we were never taught to do.
Speaker 1: No, we always shin on ourselves. I'm fat, I'm ugly,
I'm out of shape, but I'm a terrible student. I'm
a bad athlete, I can't run, i can't walk. Yeah, yeah,
that is.
Speaker 3: That's something cousive. Then at night and it is it's
five minutes highlights of the day, the three things. And
it may be completely different than what your birthday and
what were joined you in that day? What was good?
Speaker 1: I just I know what my birthday present is.
Speaker 3: Huh? What did I learn today?
Speaker 1: What did I learn today I used to do that. Yeah,
I think that that's a great thing. I've been intermittent,
I would say about writing down things that you're grateful for.
I'm grateful for, but not maybe as consistent as that. Yeah,
because I was going to I was gonna say, I,
you know, going back, because I started to think of
our house growing up and stuff, and gosh, you know,
even my own kids and stuff. It is hard. Parenting
is hard stuff. And you've got you know, and it's
even harder now because they're talking to people that you're
not even aware they're talking to them at the same
time they're talking to you, you know what I mean.
It's like you just don't know. So that always adds
a new dimension of things and you've got to really
sort of trying to navigate all that. But I was
thinking back to, like when we were growing up, three kids,
both working, trying to keep the house going. Since you worked,
one of my favorite things, can I tell you one
of my favorite.
Speaker 3: Or no, the laundry, Oh god, I still.
Speaker 1: No. No, this wasn't you. This was the way you
did it was you found a place and you would
bring the laundry, drop it off and they would have
it folded and bagged, and you would bring it home,
and everybody's clothes were in separate bags, and all we
had to do was put it away, and we didn't.
There were leaning towers of clothes through RiPP plastic bags
everywhere and everybody's room, everybody. But my father used to
get so mad because he would say to you, because
you asked him once to go pick up, I'm not
doing it. I need a paper bag to put over
my head. I saw my shitty drawers. I can't like
he did this whole like he was legitimately upset that
someone may see a skid mark.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, yeah, I'm just thinking of the laundry in our basement. Yeah,
with those filling the machine well falling down, And.
Speaker 1: He decided that. He decided, why why was that? There
was something like It wasn't always no, it wasn't always
like that, but he decided when something broke, he's like,
if you know the rules, you can figure out around
a big deal. He ran a hose across, so you
had to fill the washing machine from a hose like
you were in Appalachia, and you used to get some
because my guys were little and we were going to
do laundry and you were so embarrassed, and oh my god,
that was funny.
Speaker 3: You have to figure And I had to do this
with my with my own parents, and they did the
best they could.
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree with that.
Speaker 3: The best they could. You learned or you didn't learn
from what you were taught, you know. And and I
think at the bottom of all of it with my
own parents, and what Dad and I was was love.
You love your kids very much. You wanted to provide,
and yet somehow did it the best you could.
Speaker 1: Well, yes, I think that's a very important, uh thing
to say, because I always look back sometimes and it's
it's very easy to go. You know. Freud made it
popular to blame your mother or his dad would say.
He called Mother's Day National blame Day, which I always
found so funny.
Speaker 3: But I don't think you did, no, But I have
to say, you know, he'd also which was a fun thing.
I really sat the other day after pay day. He
would say, oh my, oh it is so filled kids,
it's purpen.
Speaker 1: Well, well it's purpen. What do you want or a
big order? Big day.
Speaker 3: It hit me because I don't know money was coming. Yeah,
I was Yeah, tomorrow I get money. So I thought
of got that, and I thought of at the wallet,
purp and I burst still left And yeah, but now
I probably should have appreciated a lot of the stuff.
Speaker 1: Well, it's hard in the moment. I mean there's many,
many things going on. So that's where I often think, like,
you know, you can beat yourself up or appreciate it now.
It's just a different perspective on the same thing. You know,
there are those who are much smarter than I that'll
tell you there's no such thing as time, and it's
only always right now, and all you're looking at is
the same thing from a different perspective. Okay, tell that
to my gray hair. Am I hurting back? But the yeah,
that that that's weird. I often think like we had
a fun I thought of, you know, if you really
went down fun stuff like going cross country, you know,
even though it was we're all in that tiny little car,
but I mean there was fun stuff. We went out
and skied in Utah. Memory though he got he got
on skis and he went from the lodge in Park City, Utah,
toward the ski lift to get in line, slipped and
fell like back like the legs the only thing was
like bent knees and him flat on the ground. He
gets up kicking and screaming, like screaming at this lodge.
Speaker 2: I hate the goddamn sensation of sliding up by And
then he spent the rest of the week in lodge
with Kevin So my brother, who was at the time
I think was.
Speaker 1: Three four yea three or four yeah, yep.
Speaker 3: But he didn't would Dylan has Dylan's been skiing since
he was eighteen months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember I tried to get Jackson
out and then he fell and he cried and I
was overruled. That was the end of that. But yeah,
I tried the same thing. Uh. It's yeah, it's interesting
when when you look back. There were lots of fun things.
I remember you won the uh lottery and you took
us to you won something, you won some money. Yeah,
and you took us all to the Ringling Brothers and
Bartam and Balley circus, which they I don't think they
have anymore.
Speaker 3: Because yes, I think it was Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Maybe I'll ask you real quick, could what what
would be a good grounding thing for people? If you
were going to do raking, like a grounding because I'm
finding grounding when I say that, like walking in the
grass with bare feet sometimes, right, I Sometimes I do
that in the morning. And I noticed that the Buffalo
Bills were doing that at Some players would go out
after practice on the grass field and just walk around barefoot.
Mm hm with with a sports psychologist.
Speaker 3: Yeah, now that's supposed to be very important, walking in
nh as much as you can, just getting in nature.
And I think again, like giving yourself time five ten
minutes even, That's why I wrote up that journal, to
just set aside, you know, get away from the phones
and computers and just get away from that for a
while and give yourself just a few minutes every day
to just concentrate. And I think one of the nicest
things that I've ever is the loving kindness meditation. I
don't go all that, oh, I'd like to do that
for everybody right now, and just to you, so you
always start with yourself when you're doing this. But now
I'm going to say that I wish this for all
of you today. I wish all of you may you
be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe,
may you be peaceful, and may we all be aware
and grateful. For many blessings. And what you do is
you do it for yourself and then you do it
for anybody you can think of, and you keep doing it.
You can do it for enemies, you can do it
for political people. You can do it. But it's just again,
I think, putting a different spin on things and loving
kindness out into the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We should probably end on that note. I was
going to ask you what you hope I carry forward
from you and Dad along the way, But I think.
Speaker 3: We got it well, just that we did do our
best and at the very least we loved you and
your brother and sister completely and really wanted you to
know that. And you know, we're very proud. We talked
about that of the people you have become.
Speaker 1: You sure. I mean, I know that podcast something is
going to be really potty mouth.
Speaker 3: Well I can. People are saying, can we listen to this?
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, yes, well this they would No, they
picked they can pick the episode. I uh, they can
pick the episode. Oh that's funny. All right, Well I'll
take that as my birthday blessing that you said too. Well,
no birthday blessing and birthday blessing, you know, the year ahead,
what would you you know.
Speaker 3: It would be your ahead, would bring your peace, love,
that you would be able to pre see and realize
and be grateful for all you have, and that many
of the goals you have set out for yourself will
be accomplished.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's uh, that's very nice. Well, thank
you so much for being on the podcast. Uh. And
I think actually for sharing the story and the wisdom
and your heart. I think having this conversation on my
birthday kind of feels like a real gift. And I
know it sounds a little corny. I always worry that
I I don't like to show my sappy, soft underbelly,
but I have it, and it's there because it's not
just my day. I think it's ours, right, you and
me twenty second and then you know, Kevin's in two
weeks and it's you and him, and you brought me
into the world, and I'm always grateful for that.
Speaker 3: Well, and I'm always grateful that I did. Yeah, did
all three of you. So may your year be wonderful.
I love you from the bottom.
Speaker 1: Of my heart. Well, thank you. I'm going to take
you off the screen. Don't go anywhere though, I'm just
gonna take you off. We're just gonna remove. To all
of you out there listening, I hope this episode kind
of reminds you to reflect on the people who made
life possible and the stories that shaped who you are.
Maybe it's your mom, possibly it's your dad, or it's
some one else who's played a big, big role in
your life's journey. If you can reach out, say thank
you or ask them to share a memory, you never
know what you're gonna learn, and I think that's very important.
As for me, I get my outro music John Hyat.
Somebody said to talk about John Hyat too much. I
hear you. As for me, I'm going to carry my
mom's blessing into this next year of life and I'm
excited to see where it takes me. And thanks for
being here to celebrate until tomorrow, Take care and keep
finding ways to honor the people you love. I woke
up in hotail, didn't know what to do. I'm turning
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