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Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction, unplugged because we will always say

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yes to creativity, totally uncut.

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Speaker 2: Because we all make mistakes. So turn it into a tool.

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This is arrow unplugged.

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Speaker 1: Hey Zaro, And this is defrag asking the questions, questioning

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the answers. We haven't hit the trail yet when we

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do our transition walk, a transition walk, we all go

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through several transitions throughout the day. What did I read

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today that in one day, one twenty four hour period,

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our mind is questioning seventy thousand times.

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Speaker 2: This is the reason why I dfrag in my journal.

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Speaker 1: There are so many subjects that I would love to

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cover here, one of them being that a quote that

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kind of hit me very late last night along the

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way you realized it was a long day. We'll dive

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into that subject a little bit later on, but I

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just wanted to show you how this moves through me

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and how you yourself hold the tools that you need

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to make it through that long day. Another subject that

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came up was does your creative innercore really know what

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day it is? And the answer that I came up

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with it was I think my outside dreams and ambitions

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constantly remind the monster to keep it together. I go

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into every day fearing that doing too much won't be

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enough for another expectation.

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Speaker 2: How often do you do that?

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Speaker 1: You pour yourself into something that you're thoroughly enjoying, and

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all of a sudden, the expectation that you wanted for

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that day, you don't have any energy for it. So

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you down another red Bull, you get a power drink,

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you take a pill, you do something to get going.

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Speaker 2: Another subject was based.

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Speaker 1: On when I do my defragging, my vocal defragging, it

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feels like that I haven't done it in a long time.

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Speaker 2: It's been eight days.

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Speaker 1: And the quote that came from me when I was

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questioning that, why has it taken me eight days to

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make it back to this point? What's really weird is

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that we all say that life is moving too quickly,

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yet when we're living it, we can't get there fast enough.

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Come on, you've said it too right, life is moving

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too quickly, yet when we're living it, we can't get

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there fast enough. We are not being fair to the

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process of time. And of course I want to talk

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about this is probably going to be the bigger subject today.

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Speaker 2: When we get out on the trail ants are you

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familiar with that? Ants?

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Speaker 1: Automatic negative thinking syndrome. ANTS. All right, I'll see you

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out on the trail in just a little bit, all right.

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Hot on the trail, I asked Alexa what the temperature

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was out here. She says, HiT's sixty five degrees. Would

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you like to know what the forecast is?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: Sixty five degrees? And I come out here and I'm

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freezing my butt off because it's been raining, so the

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forest is pretty chilly. And even though Alexa says it's

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sixty five, my body feels like it's like forty seven.

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Speaker 2: But man, how about those subjects.

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Speaker 1: There's so many different subjects that are moving through us

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at all times. Like I was mentioning, seventy thousand thoughts

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moved through each and every one of us every single day.

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Are you writing down your thoughts? Are you asking questions

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and then questioning answers. There's so many different reasons why

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we do what it is that we do. And the

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thing is is that we've got to find out why

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we do what it is that we do so that

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we can break the habit. One of my worst habits,

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I'm a time freak. I am I'm a clockwatcher. Not

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because I'm anxious to get somewhere. It's more like how

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much more time do I have before I have to

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go to their expectations? And so I utilize every single

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tick on that clock to figure out where I am

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in my moment of now, which is the reason why

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we do this transition walk, because we're consistently transitioning. If

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we don't learn from our transitions, then what we're doing

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is we're shoving a huge part of our lives, especially

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when it comes to making decisions. We pushing it aside.

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We're ignoring that self. But seventy thousand questions hit us

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every day. I'm constantly asking myself about watching the clock.

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It's not a comfortable place to be. But when you

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live the life of being here right now, in this

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moment of mindfulness, and you're challenged by other people's beliefs

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of their time, it's kind of a rough walk. It's

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a hard journey to live by, but you remain true

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to it because you realize habits don't form in your

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moments of now because you're aware of what would shape

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just another habit.

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Speaker 2: Seventy thousand thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Let's put some focus on ants automatic negative thinking syndrome. Now,

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we've talked about this so many different times on d

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FRAG about how my wife and I are very guilty

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of writing the story before it happens, meaning we will

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take a situation that we know is going to be

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a celebration because we're entertainers. When we hit that stage,

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our goal is to entertain, but we write out the

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possibilities of what if something goes wrong. You have to

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have a backup to the backup to the backup to

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the backup. Being somebody who suffers from ANTS automatic negative

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thinking syndrome, we will put into play everything that is

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negative so that when it's happening and it's not negative

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and it's very positive, I think that we've become addictive.

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It's a habit to go, wow, it wasn't that bad

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after all, and you get addicted to that. So that's

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a habit that I need to work on. But in

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doing some studies on ANTS, here's the thing. Our ancestors,

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grandparents and the grandparents of our grandparents and the grandparents

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of their grandparents, they always always put themselves in a

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situation where they questioned what could be the outcome.

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Speaker 2: They used it as a protection device.

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Speaker 1: They were able to sit down and say, Okay, well

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we got to put this crop in the ground, but

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that sky looks a little gray. What do we do

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if we put the seeds in the ground and we

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get more rain than expected? How do we handle this?

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But that is so one hundred percent ingrained into each

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and every one of us to be those people to

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ask the questions and then question the answers and kind

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of get addicted to the fact that who it really

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wasn't that bad. So on this edition of d FRAG,

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my question to you is because I want this to

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be about you, I don't want it to be about me.

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My question to you is when do you slip into

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ants automatic negative thinking syndrome? What are the triggers that

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put you into that moment? Is it a major event?

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Is it just going to work? Because you know when

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you get there, you're always going to have that feeling

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that someone doesn't like you.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that feeling, but I'll tell you what

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I do. Hold on to them, and then I try

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to think, well, I'm gonna let them start the conversation today.

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And the reason why is because because if I start

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the conversation all the time, then they must not like

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me so and they feel like they have to act

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or they have to react because I started the conversation

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being completely aware of what triggers your aunts. Taking the notes,

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grab a phone. They have little notebooks for your smartphone.

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Just jot it down and say WHOA. I was doing

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okay until this one particular thought, one of the seventy

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thousand got inside of me, and I couldn't let it go. Man,

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I got to make sure that I don't walk on

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that trail ever again because it triggered me. And now

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I can't shake this stuff free. I don't know if

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you can hear it on this transition walk. It's raining.

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Oh my god, can you hear the rain at all?

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Is it hitting the microphone? You see how I'm triggering

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myself because I'm going to sit here and think about

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what happens if I get stopping wet. I've got to

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go to my essential job today. My hair was dry

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before I came out here, but I know I'm getting

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wet right now. But the importance of this transition walk

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had to outweigh the doubter, the shamer, the guilt trip maker.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, ants.

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Speaker 1: Automatic negative thinking syndrome. It's in every one of us.

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But the goal is to find your piece. How do

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you find your piece? Do you pick up a red bull,

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a monster, drink a prime? Do you grab the alcohol?

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Speaker 2: What do you do?

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Speaker 1: I happened to pick up a writing instrument and I write,

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is it beautiful?

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Speaker 2: Never? Never? It's just thoughts. I shared him with you

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at the beginning, when we were still in the house.

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Speaker 1: They're just thoughts. But those thoughts they could be seeds.

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Do we plant them in the ground?

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Speaker 2: Now? Where were we going to grow from here?

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Speaker 1: If the day really feels like it's taken a long

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time to get through this long day, then how are

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we going to process this system so there can be

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a rooting system of a more positive outcome of the

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way that we think. You may not know this about me,

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but during the lockdown, I needed to be with people.

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I crave people because I'm in the people business, radio,

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movie promotions, we have a DJ service, We're always with people.

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But during the lockdown, yeah, we were lockdown. I was

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craving that connection. So I took on a job at

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a grocery store being a radio person. I had never

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in my entire life ever had a real job where

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I was consistently with community. I was taking what was

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triggering me as a negative during the lockdown, and I

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was trying to locate a positive, knowing that being with people,

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having that connection was going to serve as a greater tool.

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And it has. It truly has. And so when I

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get into that answer mode and I'm at the essential job,

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what I do is I go somewhere where I could

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build a conversation, not about me. What I want to

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do is go up to a guest and I want

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to find out about them, not that I'm being snoopy.

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I just want to know, how's your day? Hey man,

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you told me last time that there was something wrong

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with your cat. How's your cat? Even when we have

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thieves inside the store, those that are shoplifting, one of

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the first things that they train us to do is

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to go get in a conversation with the person that

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we assume is going to walk out of the store

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with something. Go get a conversation, Go be with him.

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Treat it like a community, not one necessarily designed by you.

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But you're not in control of the community. You're not

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in control of society. So one of your triggers might

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be I don't want to talk to anybody. I mean,

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what happens is something bad happens. No, something good is

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going to happen, because you're going to get locked in

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on a conversation. So as we defragg today, we've been

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talking about the big thing, which is ants. But what

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triggers you to go into automatic negative thinking syndrome? There's

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always going to be something that leads you in that direction.

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For instance, would you be happy out here in the

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rain with me right now if you could see this

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beautiful lake and the water droplets just splashing looking like

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a billion fish out there from jumping up in the

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air for mosquitos. You might not like that because you

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might be like a cat and you just don't like

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to get wet. But what are your triggers identifying with

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your heart? Where you go when something that you don't

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agree with is putting you in a place of negative thoughts,

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it is a syndrome.

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Speaker 2: It is a sickness.

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Speaker 1: There are people that think they're going insane because all

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they do is think about negative things.

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Speaker 2: We can change that. You change it by getting to

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know who you are as a person.

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Speaker 1: Don't go ask a family member or a friend, a neighbor.

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Hey man how am I doing it? Because you know what,

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that's one of the rules of Julia Cameron's the artists WHOA.

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I never ask anybody close to you, well, what do

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you think? Because they're going to say something, you're not

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going to agree with it, and it's going to bring

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injury to the relationship. I think it's time that you

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get to know you by asking the questions and question

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and the answers. I'm not a professional, but I'll tell

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you what I do have. So I started the DFRAG

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Journal in November of twenty seventeen. It's twenty twenty three.

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I've been doing that for six years. But the daily

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writing I've been doing since July of nineteen ninety four.

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I'm coming up on thirty years. And if you don't

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think writing down thoughts, writing down those questions seventy thousand

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questions in one day, if you don't think getting them

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out of you isn't a good tool, I gotta take

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you on. You're being a trigger right now. And maybe

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I'm being a trigger to you because now you're saying

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what I didn't come here to be preach too. I'm

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trying not to preach. All I'm saying is is that

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we all suffer from ants.

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Speaker 2: You know what it is.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it again, okay, but I want

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you to do some research and I want you to

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see that how we think and why we are consistently

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bumping into negativity is because we worry about everything.

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Speaker 2: Do we fit in? Am I hungry? Or am I not?

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Speaker 1: Why do I feel this way? Do I trust Google?

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I mean, if I go to Google, will it tell

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me what my sickness is? Who do I trust? Why

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won't the pharmacy do this? You see what I mean?

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We're always asking questions and the scariest thing about it,

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everything I've researched, it's completely one hundred percent normal.

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Speaker 2: And maybe that that.

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Speaker 1: Is the trigger of ants, automatic negative thinking syndrome. That

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could be the negative. We're just being normal. We don't

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want to be normal. We want to be a Marvel superhero.

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We want to win trophies, we want to win the lottery,

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we want a victory. We don't want to be just normal.

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In fact, when I was going to doctor Dave, one

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of the things that he told me, he says, you

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got to get used to just doing normal things.

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Speaker 2: And I go, dude, I like challenging myself.

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Speaker 1: I'm that guy that's going to stand on the edge

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of the cliff and just jump, and he goes, yeah,

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that's an addiction to excitement. I get it. But what's

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happening is is that you think you think you're not

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the professional dude. You think that you're depressed when everything

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that we've ever talked about and gone through has been

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one hundred percent normal normal. Is that what's triggering your answer?

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Ask yourself the questions, question the answers. That's defragging. Now

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do you have to save it?

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Speaker 2: I do.

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Speaker 1: I save it because I go back to it and

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learn from it. But I get it in the beginning

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stages of your growing period, if you feel more comfortable

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and more secure of writing things out and then throwing

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it away, I'm okay with that. I have no judgment

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against you at all because you got it out of

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your system. But think of it as a walking stone,

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and you've got this gigantic wall of water in front

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of you, and you've got to get to the other side,

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and you know that if you step on the worst stone,

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you're going to fall in. So I save them to

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use them as future tools. I go back, I read them,

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not to live in my past because it's my present

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I'm working on.

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Speaker 2: I'm MARYN and that's d frag