Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one
Speaker 1: of your hosts, Delia here with my real tight homegirl
Speaker 1: and my daughter in law, the illustrious, the resplendent Bitch.
Speaker 1: That means we are here to talk sister, whys honey.
Speaker 1: We are all caught up and almost done with season
Speaker 1: six finally, the first year in the called the Sack,
Speaker 1: the run up to the commitment ceremony, which is oh
Speaker 1: so important. Yeah, which is what we talk about tonight.
Speaker 1: If we can make it. What are we going to
Speaker 1: talk about?
Speaker 2: Girl?
Speaker 1: This whole episode sucked so much donkey balls, I can't
Speaker 1: even remember what I want.
Speaker 2: I don't either, I.
Speaker 1: Don't know if I'm here right now, I'm not. We're
Speaker 1: going to do our very best before we get into it, though,
Speaker 1: we do have to remind you to please hotch what
Speaker 1: hod your kids? This is a politically incorrect podcast, which
Speaker 1: means we say stupid things. We're just here to party.
Speaker 1: We're literally just here to have fun real and so
Speaker 1: if you're one of them sensitive people, go away. You
Speaker 1: might want to find yourself a different dumpster. But if
Speaker 1: you're ready to revisit the Call de sac drama and
Speaker 1: the poor Dress designer Sam Honey Honey, well, then welcome
Speaker 1: to this.
Speaker 2: And if you like what we do over here, please
Speaker 2: be sure to follow us on Instagram at Reality tv Cringe.
Speaker 2: It's our only social media, okay, and then join us
Speaker 2: on Patreon, Patreon, dot com, sash Reality TV Gringe. We're
Speaker 2: wrapping up our coverage of season two of The Valley
Speaker 2: over there with a bunch of other bonus stuff. It's
Speaker 2: really fun except for the value.
Speaker 1: The Valley is so toxic, but we get all the
Speaker 1: way into it, so definitely come and join us now.
Speaker 1: If you are watching on YouTube, please do not forget
Speaker 1: to like and com and share and subscribe because when
Speaker 1: you interact with our content, whether it's positive or negative,
Speaker 1: although I don't know why it would ever be negative. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it really does boost us in the algo, and when
Speaker 1: we're growing in the algo, we're getting fatter, and when
Speaker 1: we're fatter, we're the.
Speaker 3: Best versions of ourselves.
Speaker 1: Beatrice exactly, do thank you in things? So did you
Speaker 1: have any takeaways with this episode before we get into it,
Speaker 1: My dear, I felt.
Speaker 2: Really bad for that dress designer because I feel like
Speaker 2: she was trying her best, But at the same time,
Speaker 2: I'm like, these dresses are booty e.
Speaker 1: Fuh, so terrible?
Speaker 2: How bad?
Speaker 1: I think she knew it, yeah, and I'm sure she
Speaker 1: was like telling her whole family like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: sister wives, have you heard of it? They asked me
Speaker 1: to be a dress designer. I'm going to help the
Speaker 1: four wives. It's gonna be so great. What an opportunity.
Speaker 1: And she comes in looking edgy and fly and wonderful,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking these are gonna be great. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: I'm not because I've already seen this, but I mean, like,
Speaker 1: these dresses are so bad, so terrible. I do feel
Speaker 1: bad for her as well. I wonder where she is.
Speaker 1: Where are you now? Sam?
Speaker 2: Hiding under a rock?
Speaker 1: Are you? Okay? Oh my lord?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: So get us start at Beatrice with season six episode
Speaker 1: is it eighteen? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Entitled Celebration Countdown?
Speaker 1: Okay, God, Godnes's.
Speaker 2: Gracious, it's like the never ending season. This season is
Speaker 2: like incredibly long. Yes, And then we have this episode
Speaker 2: that I don't even know why we have because it's
Speaker 2: like before the commitment ceremony, but it's like forty days
Speaker 2: to the commitment ceremony, so we still have some time.
Speaker 2: But everybody's acting like it's so last minute, they have
Speaker 2: so many things to plan, and I'm just like, I
Speaker 2: don't care.
Speaker 1: Nobody cares, and it's so manufactured, and it's so truly boring,
Speaker 1: and you're not talking about the real story, which is,
Speaker 1: why are you doing all of these improvements to Robin's backyard?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: And why aren't we talking about how much it's costing?
Speaker 1: And are the other wives asking themselves, well, how come
Speaker 1: Robin gets to have all these improvements? And I'm over
Speaker 1: here with the Moonscape exactly. We're not having the real conversations,
Speaker 1: and so I'm bored.
Speaker 2: I'm very bored. But we start off with the family
Speaker 2: talking about the commitment ceremony, and it seems like the
Speaker 2: parents are the only ones that are excited about it.
Speaker 2: Nobody else is excited about it. We have landscaping done
Speaker 2: and Robin's backyard, and then now we have to find
Speaker 2: the dressmaker we meet in this episode. Poor Sam. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel really bad for And then they have to
Speaker 2: figure out a menu, and then they have to finish
Speaker 2: the mission statement because we've been working on that for forever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this entire season, and we haven't finished the Donah.
Speaker 1: We were talking about it yet we were talking about
Speaker 1: it before the Dona. We're still talking about it, and
Speaker 1: nobody cares. They don't care, Janelle doesn't care, Mary's not
Speaker 1: into it, the kids hate it. Why are we doing this?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, for content.
Speaker 2: Yep, and for Cody, probably because Cody wants to like
Speaker 2: portray that they're all happy and they're perfectly fine, even
Speaker 2: though we all know that trouble is happening in this
Speaker 2: cul de sac already, and it's because Cody's over at
Speaker 2: Robins and decorating her house, So it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Speaking of Cody, we are going to have an after show,
Speaker 1: by the way, because as you know, we have discussed
Speaker 1: that he's going to be a part of Special Forces
Speaker 1: season four, Season four World Domination Soldiers, World's Toughest, That's
Speaker 1: what I meant. He's going to be a part of that,
Speaker 1: and there's some gossip around that. There's also some things
Speaker 1: that he's done to his whole face that we're going
Speaker 1: to get into, and he's made a recent Instagram post
Speaker 1: in which he divulges a bit of information and so
Speaker 1: we want to talk about it, yeah, but we're going
Speaker 1: to reserve that for after this episode with y' all
Speaker 1: but if you want to join us, definitely follow us
Speaker 1: on Patreon where we have our after show and we
Speaker 1: have a lot of fun directly after this episode. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: go back to the episode, all.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, then Sam comes over and she starts kind
Speaker 2: of figuring out the designs for each one of the
Speaker 2: wives and their dresses kind of have Christine, who wants
Speaker 2: an empire waste, I don't know why it's not flattering.
Speaker 2: Janelle wants a rap dress, which is very flattering for
Speaker 2: her in her curves. Mary wants to be edgy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was interesting, different and unique. Yeah, and flowy she wants,
Speaker 2: which is not edgy, No like floey and drapie which
Speaker 2: else I think what she said is not the same
Speaker 2: thing as edgy, no and different. But I think Mary
Speaker 2: is really trying hard to stand out, which we've seen
Speaker 2: in like other parts of this particular episode where she's
Speaker 2: like not happy, she doesn't necessarily believe in the commitment ceremony,
Speaker 2: Like she's the only one who's dissenting kind of loudly
Speaker 2: about things. Yeah, because I think she just wants to
Speaker 2: be acknowledged and seen as a member of the family. Yikes,
Speaker 2: and nobody cares no one cares.
Speaker 1: Nobody cares about Mary.
Speaker 2: At all, dude, It's kind of crazy. And then, of
Speaker 2: course Robin she wants a matronly dress similar to the
Speaker 2: ones that she saw on the boutiques in San Francisco. Yes,
Speaker 2: and of course, like I think her dress ends up
Speaker 2: looking like the best when we get to the actual
Speaker 2: commitment ceremony, looks better than all the other wives.
Speaker 1: But wait, are they wearing the dresses in the commitment ceremony?
Speaker 1: I know Christine's not.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: I think she is. I think they're all wearing it
Speaker 2: except for Mary, because as we get to later in
Speaker 2: the episode, Mary's dress is a complete fucking failure, and
Speaker 2: I think she ends up getting a new dress.
Speaker 1: What, yeah, girl, Christine is going to wear that obamination
Speaker 1: princess dressed to this yes commitment ceremony? Wow?
Speaker 2: Okay, I know, but she does, and it's bright orange.
Speaker 1: It's terrible. It's literally the worst thing ever. Like when
Speaker 1: Sam originally comes over just to cut a pattern, she's
Speaker 1: got like pinks and purples and blacks, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that'll looks nice. What it ends up being like rust
Speaker 1: and brown and earth tones. Oh, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: was revolted. I was revolted. Poor Christine if.
Speaker 2: She's actually wearing that, so bad, so bad. And then
Speaker 2: we have the family go into therapy with Nancy for
Speaker 2: some reason.
Speaker 1: To finish their mission statement that nobody cares about.
Speaker 2: Literally no one cares. I don't know why we're doing this,
Speaker 2: and it's like all manufactured too, like we're not talking
Speaker 2: about anything that really matters. We talk about the mission statement.
Speaker 2: They want to focus on physical health and like working out,
Speaker 2: needing healthy, Like okay, you really do.
Speaker 1: Kind of get a snapshot though of what TLC used
Speaker 1: to be like with the Goslins and the Duggers, like
Speaker 1: just boring ass television, super boring, and we were just
Speaker 1: eating it up and so fascinated by these polygamis and
Speaker 1: their dressmaker. I'm like, oh my god, this is terrible
Speaker 1: content in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: It's horrible. I'm so freaking bored. And then they also
Speaker 2: talk about what would happen if Cody would get another wife,
Speaker 2: and this is like so dumb, because we obviously know
Speaker 2: he's found his soulmate with Robin, and Cody says he
Speaker 2: doesn't foresee getting another wife. He thinks he's done. And
Speaker 2: then we have Mary on the couch after this, saying
Speaker 2: she's concerned about what's going to happen in the family
Speaker 2: after the commitment ceremony, and then Cody shuts her down
Speaker 2: and is like, well, no, just shift your mindset though,
Speaker 2: stop being concerned, be happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was wild a little bit because I thought
Speaker 1: Mary was attempting to have a real ass convo about
Speaker 1: the actual issues in the family. She was trying to
Speaker 1: just raise the flag and say, hey, but like, this
Speaker 1: is great, We're having another party, We're like putting on airs,
Speaker 1: But what about the day after and beyond? Are we
Speaker 1: going to be friends? Are we going to be in
Speaker 1: a real marriage? Is this a real family? Like she's
Speaker 1: not saying it out right, but I think she's trying
Speaker 1: to raise the issue, and Cody just immediately shuts her down.
Speaker 1: And furthermore, none of the other wives acknowledge her statement
Speaker 1: or validate her statement, because you know, Christine's wondering, Oh, definitely,
Speaker 1: Christine's not getting the Mormon dye. You know Janelle, Well,
Speaker 1: maybe Janelle is in the renaissance in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2: I've been.
Speaker 1: She's blowing it down and maybe it's a juicy time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but those other two women aren't. Yeah, but nobody backs
Speaker 1: her up. I know.
Speaker 2: I thought that was kind of an interesting little part
Speaker 2: right there. And it seemed to me too that like
Speaker 2: Cody was a little annoyed that Mary brought that up
Speaker 2: on camera because it seemed like it's something that they
Speaker 2: are trying to keep under wraps at this time. They
Speaker 2: don't want people to know that there's trouble of bruin
Speaker 2: or that any of the wives are concerned about anything.
Speaker 2: And that's why I think Cody shut her down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I love those little moments meeting Christine just
Speaker 1: lets it all out, or Janelle or Mary. I just
Speaker 1: wish they said more, I know, because it makes these
Speaker 1: boring ass episodes that much more bearable. And then we
Speaker 1: have Sam coming back to the house to do some
Speaker 1: more pattern fittings, and this is where we see Christine
Speaker 1: in her god awful princess dress and Cody says she
Speaker 1: looks like a princess and Christine's.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, like totally fits me, and I'm like okay.
Speaker 1: But on the couch, Cody says, well, I don't know
Speaker 1: what to say because I don't think as a man
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to just come out and say that is
Speaker 1: the worst dress I've ever seen in my life and
Speaker 1: you look terrible in it, yeah, which means that's what
Speaker 1: he really thought. So in the moment, and certainly in
Speaker 1: front of Sam, and like they're all trying to be
Speaker 1: very cool to Sam. Nobody is dogging out her designs
Speaker 1: or admitting that these are trash dresses because they're you know,
Speaker 1: they don't want to throw her under the bus or whatever.
Speaker 1: But Cody comes close. Yes, these are terrible dresses. And
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say to my wives. They
Speaker 1: look absolutely awful. And Christine, you look like a gloun.
Speaker 2: I know, look like a gloun. Seriously, it's so bad.
Speaker 2: And again, like I feel so bad for Sam because
Speaker 2: you know, the wives acknowledge that they realized they started
Speaker 2: this whole dress props. It's way too late, thank you.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, this is so much stress to put
Speaker 2: on a seamstress like this, Like my mom used to
Speaker 2: make clothes and she was really really talented with it,
Speaker 2: but it would take her a while. And like even
Speaker 2: Mary acknowledges it. Like I saw all of the kids
Speaker 2: pajamas and stuff like that, Like I know it's a process,
Speaker 2: but she's being very critical and like finicky with her
Speaker 2: dress and very particular. I think Janelle even makes a
Speaker 2: comment like on the couch, Janelle's like, yeah, I had
Speaker 2: to warn the designer just before we started this process
Speaker 2: that you were going to be a problem, Mary, But
Speaker 2: like you know, I know, it's just because your particular.
Speaker 1: And Mary's just smiling, but like inwardly, I'm thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: she's pissed, she's upset. Yeah, she's mad, super pissed.
Speaker 2: But it's like Mary, I mean, hello, you picked like
Speaker 2: the worst fucking fabric known to mankind?
Speaker 1: Did Mary pick that fabric?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Wait, the wives picked their fabric? Yeah? When did we
Speaker 1: establish that? Because I thought that the designer just brought
Speaker 1: the fabric.
Speaker 2: No, I think they picked it because I remember.
Speaker 1: I remember they went to San Francisco, and I remember
Speaker 1: they were looking at colors, but I did not know
Speaker 1: like they were pulling bolts and selecting fabric.
Speaker 2: I think they were selecting fabric because when they were
Speaker 2: at the fabric store, they were picking like colors and
Speaker 2: stuff that they liked. And I think that was implied
Speaker 2: that they like picked fabric that they liked, because even
Speaker 2: Sam was bitching about Mary's fabric and how it's gonna
Speaker 2: look like a cheap clown costume. Yeah, they were howling costume.
Speaker 1: Fabric is supposed to be for aupholstery, Yeah, for couches
Speaker 1: and stuff. Yeah, for dentist furniture, not for actual dresses.
Speaker 1: That's wild that Mary picked that.
Speaker 2: Well, it's because Mary's Mary.
Speaker 1: I mean, none of them are like fashionistas, let's say.
Speaker 2: Not at all, to say the least. And then we
Speaker 2: have a rehearsal or like a booty rehearsal for the
Speaker 2: commitment ceremony, and this is where they're talking about how
Speaker 2: they're gonna have family pictures, and then they talk about
Speaker 2: Cody's beard for some reason because they like his beard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so that's interesting because I guess when we
Speaker 1: started this episode, it was forty days till the Sarah moony,
Speaker 1: and then we kind of go through the timeline and
Speaker 1: now we're like a week out or something, and he's
Speaker 1: got a full on beard and he's wondering if he's
Speaker 1: gonna shave it for the pictures, and he's telling his
Speaker 1: kids and his wives like, this is going to be
Speaker 1: the one picture we're gonna take. It's going to be
Speaker 1: the best picture of our lives. Everybody has to dress up,
Speaker 1: everybody has to be fly, and I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm going to keep this beard. And Janelle's like, I
Speaker 1: love it, daddy, And I think did Mary like it?
Speaker 1: I don't, Christine did not, and I don't think Robin did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Christine and Robin didn't like it. But
Speaker 2: Mary was like, yeah, it's fine, because Mary's just trying
Speaker 2: to get Cody to touch her poon Ani again.
Speaker 1: Just a little just one thing.
Speaker 2: Just a little bit. Maybe if I compliment him, he'll
Speaker 2: just touch me.
Speaker 1: Looks great. Sorry, I'm stuff right there. So much I
Speaker 1: could say, I know.
Speaker 2: And then we have like all of the kids trying
Speaker 2: to gather around. They're trying to like rehearse how they
Speaker 2: would get for pictures and stuff.
Speaker 1: This isn't a wedding, well it's note.
Speaker 2: It's not at all. And then Janelle yells and all
Speaker 2: the kids for being rowdy and annoying guess their teenage boys.
Speaker 1: And they don't want to do this, No nobody does.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. Hunter and Gabe circa
Speaker 1: twenty fourteen. I don't want to be there either.
Speaker 2: They don't want to do it at all, and then
Speaker 2: they talk about how they want to have all the
Speaker 2: kids sign the mission statement, but Cody doesn't want to
Speaker 2: force the kids to sign it because it's very important
Speaker 2: that they have the choice. And then Robin gets mad
Speaker 2: at that. She's like, what's the point of us doing
Speaker 2: the stupid ass.
Speaker 1: Missions tam Well, because Maddie's like, well, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I want to sign it, And on the couch,
Speaker 1: Maddie's like, I just want to push Robin's buttons.
Speaker 2: And that made Robin mad.
Speaker 1: It did make Robin mad because.
Speaker 2: Robin made that comment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was the comment? Because I played it back
Speaker 1: a couple of times.
Speaker 2: She's like, well, if you guys don't want to sign it,
Speaker 2: then you guys need to move out, like you don't
Speaker 2: get to live with us. I'm like, okay, it seems
Speaker 2: very dressed.
Speaker 1: Wow, it seems very dramatic.
Speaker 2: Robin dang from like a glorified like stepmom that comes
Speaker 2: into an established family late in the day, you know,
Speaker 2: late in the development timeline, and you want to sit
Speaker 2: there and say, the kids get it kicked out. Were
Speaker 2: not signing the mission this booty as mission statement that
Speaker 2: you can't even finish right, okay, And then we hear
Speaker 2: from the older kids, which I thought was really base,
Speaker 2: and I wish we could hear more from them, because
Speaker 2: all of them are like, I don't know why we're
Speaker 2: doing this. There's no point, Like we're a family, we
Speaker 2: love each other. I don't know why we need to
Speaker 2: have a ceremony saying that we love each other. And like,
Speaker 2: I think it was Hunter that said, I think this
Speaker 2: is more important for the parents than it is for
Speaker 2: all of us, like we don't give a shit.
Speaker 1: And I think he is on the money with that one,
Speaker 1: because we do have Christine saying somewhere in this episode,
Speaker 1: like after San Francisco, you know, when we spent time
Speaker 1: together just the wives trying to be friends. I really
Speaker 1: did see how I wanted to develop these relationships, like
Speaker 1: if something happened to Cody or you know, the next chapter,
Speaker 1: if one of us left, like would we still be
Speaker 1: connected in some way? And so this is important to Christine,
Speaker 1: It's it's not it's important to Janelle. But I think
Speaker 1: it's important to Robin to feel included, and I think
Speaker 1: Cody wants Robin to feel that way. Cody wants all
Speaker 1: of his wives to be copiesthetic, and it's really about
Speaker 1: them not getting along at this time, exactly, trying to
Speaker 1: show everybody that they do get along and that they
Speaker 1: love each other when they don't.
Speaker 2: And they want to rope all of the children into
Speaker 2: it who are not into it whatsoever. And they probably
Speaker 2: have their own fucking beef with Robin and kids.
Speaker 1: Yes, they're dealing with their.
Speaker 2: Own shit like it really should, in my opinion, be
Speaker 2: like a ceremony reserved for the adults, and they should
Speaker 2: continue going to therapy. Yeah, but they don't end up
Speaker 2: going if they wanted to actually cultivate and work on
Speaker 2: their relationships, but we know they don't. They don't give
Speaker 2: a shit. And then we start discussing the sad ceremony
Speaker 2: that they all want to do at the commitment celebration.
Speaker 1: Now, this was just about the wives though, right, not Cody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it was because it was about like
Speaker 2: the Sister Wives union.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So they each all have their own color of sand,
Speaker 2: and then they pour it one by one until all
Speaker 2: of their sand is gone.
Speaker 1: They knt it off there for a moment.
Speaker 2: They pour it all into one big jar, mix all
Speaker 2: their sand together, and then that's how they signify that
Speaker 2: they're all unified together. And Robin is like super into it,
Speaker 2: so it's her idea. Definitely is her idea. And I
Speaker 2: don't know. I mean, it's cool on paper, but if
Speaker 2: you're not gonna like actively work on your relationships, like,
Speaker 2: what's the fucking point.
Speaker 1: It's entirely superficial. Yep. It's absolutely a projection of what
Speaker 1: they want to be and what they want to have,
Speaker 1: but that they do not have, yep, in order to
Speaker 1: convince us and everybody else that they're okay. Yep.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And like I was reminded of when my dad
Speaker 2: and my stepmom got married, and my stepmom really wanted
Speaker 2: to do this sand ceremony because they got married on
Speaker 2: the Organ beach, and we all it was so cringe
Speaker 2: because me and my sister didn't really want to be there,
Speaker 2: and my stepbrothers didn't want to be there, and we're
Speaker 2: at their wedding and you know, after their vows and stuff,
Speaker 2: then get out a big old jar and then we
Speaker 2: have to awkwardly pour all of our sand in it.
Speaker 1: And oh and it was supposed.
Speaker 2: To signify like our blended family, and like at the
Speaker 2: time it seemed cute and everything but like now we're
Speaker 2: all like estranged, and so it's like, what's the point
Speaker 2: in that? And so are the Browns and it is
Speaker 2: so now I'm like sand ceremonies are cursed. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna work out Brown family.
Speaker 2: Because it does it, No, it does not, It doesn't
Speaker 2: at all if you don't want to put the action
Speaker 2: or the effort into maintaining the relationships and like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, not being a bitch, Robin, yeah, geez.
Speaker 1: Start there.
Speaker 2: And then we have Sam returning for more fittings of
Speaker 2: the dresses, and this is where we're starting to see
Speaker 2: some of them get put together. We have Janelle walking
Speaker 2: around with no sleeves.
Speaker 1: Which is not what you want as a big girl. No,
Speaker 1: and an aging girl. You got a little wobble, you
Speaker 1: got a little gobble. Yeah, you want all that to
Speaker 1: just be tucked away, Yeah, tucked in. You want the illusion.
Speaker 1: And I think that out of all of the women,
Speaker 1: maybe Janelle is the nicest. I know, you said, Roberts.
Speaker 1: I mean, Robin's is okay, but I think Janelle's is
Speaker 1: the most serviceable.
Speaker 2: Agreed.
Speaker 1: I can see how that would look nice, But that's
Speaker 1: the only one for.
Speaker 2: Me, definitely, And I do like Janelle's pleading that she's
Speaker 2: doing around here whatever. I think that's very flattering. I
Speaker 2: like the blue on her. I think it's very pretty.
Speaker 1: She's good in jewel tones.
Speaker 2: Honestly, Janelle in these earlier seasons gorge very much. So,
Speaker 2: I mean, they're all fine except for Robin, but like
Speaker 2: Janelle in particularly Janelle in particular very pretty. And then
Speaker 2: we have well, no, she's pretty well, yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: I like the blondes, Oh you do anyway, Then we
Speaker 2: have Christine walking around in her empire waist orange Renaissance.
Speaker 1: What happened? I don't know when she was draping, when
Speaker 1: she was cutting, I don't there weren't as many layers.
Speaker 1: It didn't look like a blanket. It's so bad. It's
Speaker 1: a terrible color.
Speaker 2: There's no fitting.
Speaker 1: Christine stands in front of the mirror and she's lying
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, it's great, Yeah, I see it now,
Speaker 1: I get it. I'm like, you get what what do
Speaker 1: you get to get?
Speaker 2: What? You get?
Speaker 1: A terrible potato sack?
Speaker 2: For real?
Speaker 1: You get a potato sack with a gold ribbon, frumpy
Speaker 1: dumpy right under your boubets yeah, so bad, terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then we have Robin in like I think
Speaker 2: it's a dark purple dress, is what it looked like.
Speaker 2: And she's not really into it either, but she's just
Speaker 2: like hoping for the best. I think hers end up
Speaker 2: ends up looking fine when we get to the actual
Speaker 2: commitment ceremony, and we'll see. And then we get to
Speaker 2: Mary's with her absolute terrible, horrible. What can you even say,
Speaker 2: talk about a potato sack.
Speaker 1: You're getting voted out if you're on Project Runway. Oh,
Speaker 1: you're not even getting onto Project Runway. I felt so
Speaker 1: bad for Sam, and now that I know that she
Speaker 1: was not able to select the fabrics and that really
Speaker 1: it was the ladies designs and it was the lady's ideas.
Speaker 1: Like she's doing the best that she can as a
Speaker 1: recent graduate. Yet furthermore so, she's like not established, she
Speaker 1: hasn't doing this forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like looking at her personal style, I thought she was
Speaker 1: very stylish. Yeah, I'm sure this is not the type
Speaker 1: of clothing she wants to decide. And we get to
Speaker 1: marry and it is like thick, it doesn't mold, move, flow, drape, awful,
Speaker 1: it's awful business.
Speaker 2: Terrible and you can like see the look on Mary's face,
Speaker 2: which is like total panic because she's like, what the
Speaker 2: fuck am I going to do? Because this looks terrible.
Speaker 1: To the mall. It's like, why is this a crisis?
Speaker 1: Why are we so dramatic? Just go to the mall,
Speaker 1: go to the store, go to the Macy's and get
Speaker 1: you a dress, honey.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know why we're like panicking and
Speaker 2: like paying for a dress designer to make all these productions.
Speaker 2: It's just like so stupid to me. And it was
Speaker 2: kind of giving, like, look at us, we're so rich
Speaker 2: in fancy because we pay a designer to make these
Speaker 2: beautiful dresses.
Speaker 1: Is that what she thought it was giving it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe they were trying to get what I'm saying, but
Speaker 1: it was bottom barrel of absolutely le sewing school one
Speaker 1: oh one terribleness.
Speaker 2: It's awful. I feel really bad for Sam because I
Speaker 2: feel like she really wanted to prove herself and she
Speaker 2: started with the worst four people in the world to
Speaker 2: make dresses for That's why I'm like, what are you
Speaker 2: doing now? Are you not? Are you no longer a designer?
Speaker 2: I would be I'd be like I'm giving up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, after that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then we have Robin who wants to show
Speaker 2: off everybody, like, show off her jewelry to everybody that
Speaker 2: she designed.
Speaker 1: Right, because they're gonna have a ceremony within the ceremony
Speaker 1: where Cody distributes jewelry to all the wives and the kids.
Speaker 1: And of course this is jewelry that Robin has designed,
Speaker 1: because I don't know, have you heard, but she's got
Speaker 1: this business called My Sister Wives Closet where she sells upscale, silver,
Speaker 1: beautiful jewelry. And this is some of what she's designed.
Speaker 1: Cuffs for the boys, necklace, bracelets for the girirls, Trees
Speaker 1: of life yep.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, this is probably where a lot of
Speaker 2: their money went for this whole stupid ceremony.
Speaker 1: That was their budget.
Speaker 2: I mean, like all of the jewelry, which is unnecessary.
Speaker 2: It's so unnecessary. I don't know why we need to
Speaker 2: do this. It's just for Robin to be like, look,
Speaker 2: I designed it. I care so much about the family
Speaker 2: and the kids. Like I'm coming here cap in hand
Speaker 2: giving you ugly gaudy jewelry because no one else will
Speaker 2: buy it on my website but the family. Right, So
Speaker 2: here's this stock that I need to get rid of
Speaker 2: because I love you guys, and I'm giving it to you.
Speaker 2: It's so bad. But anyway, so she gives them all
Speaker 2: their jewelry and they're gonna have some dumb ceremony with it.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see it because everybody, you know,
Speaker 2: everyone's gonna hate it.
Speaker 1: Well, and the kids are gonna be They're not gonna care,
Speaker 1: they're not gonna want it. I don't think I recall
Speaker 1: any child ever wearing it on camera. That's since I've
Speaker 1: been watching, and certainly none of the wives have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But when she is showing the camera her designs,
Speaker 1: she does talk about how she always wanted to be
Speaker 1: a polygamist ever since it was modeled to her by
Speaker 1: her mistress mother, who had this long term affair with
Speaker 1: her daddy, Yeah, her stepdaddy who was there at her
Speaker 1: birth inappropriately weird, I dare say. And so she's always
Speaker 1: had these dreams of being part of a big, well
Speaker 1: functioning polygamist family. And now she's thirty five years old
Speaker 1: and she finally has it. And this is what has
Speaker 1: inspired her beautiful designs of the Tree of Life on
Speaker 1: her cuffs and her bracelets. I'm just like, okay, only
Speaker 1: for you too.
Speaker 3: Within five years, begin to destroy the well you're doing
Speaker 3: it now, like, begin to truly destroy this entire family
Speaker 3: and break the hearts of wives and children everywhere.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. And then we pop on over to like
Speaker 2: pretty much the end of the episode, where we have
Speaker 2: Christine dyeing the sand for the sand ceremony and numb.
Speaker 3: Mur It's like, so bad.
Speaker 2: I don't care. I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1: Why would I care? Who cares? Nobody cares, Nobody cares.
Speaker 1: Why did you think I would ever care?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll see. And this is where Sam starts pinning
Speaker 2: Robin's dress and Mary's dress, and this is where Robin's like,
Speaker 2: I don't like my dress at all. I think it's booty,
Speaker 2: but she's not gonna say anything. And we have Mary's
Speaker 2: dress and Mary's like, this is horrible. Can we say that?
Speaker 1: But if we make a little change here and there
Speaker 1: and say, I'm like, no, it's not gonna happen. This
Speaker 1: is a train wreck.
Speaker 2: It's awful.
Speaker 1: It's the worst that it could ever be.
Speaker 2: And Mary's panicking. She's like, I don't know what I'm
Speaker 2: gonna do right, go to fucking Macy's, Like, you said, yes, Hello,
Speaker 2: I don't understand. This is the time where malls were
Speaker 2: still popping. Absolutely, malls are dead nowadays. I'm like, you
Speaker 2: could have gone to any store you're in Vegas.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, go to Ross.
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't understand. And then it's two days away
Speaker 2: from the ceremony. Oh my god, everybody's panicking excited.
Speaker 1: We have like, I don't know if I can.
Speaker 2: Wait, nothing prepared. You have Cody who's still hanging lights
Speaker 2: up in the fucking could sack, and he's messing it up,
Speaker 2: and he's getting frantic and he's getting an attitude, and
Speaker 2: we have tables coming and guests are RSV peeing, and
Speaker 2: Janelle's like, nothing's done. I don't know how we're gonna
Speaker 2: put this together. And then we get to the preview. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and this is where Cody is still trying to hang lights.
Speaker 2: Janelle's worried that Sam is gonna just snap and run away.
Speaker 1: Well, Sam literally says in the preview, I was just
Speaker 1: in the laundry mat, laundrymat with the laundry room, crying
Speaker 1: my eyes out because I'm so despondent and desolate over
Speaker 1: the state of these designs and I might run away.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for her, dude, you do. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is a lot of work.
Speaker 1: I feel like she was set up.
Speaker 2: Yoh definitely to fail. Yeah, definitely. And then we have
Speaker 2: like everybody gathering around for photos and this is like
Speaker 2: at the actual ceremony where everybody's dressed up, and Cody
Speaker 2: has a fucking like meltdown. Did you see the way
Speaker 2: his face looked?
Speaker 1: Yeah, freaky yeah. And this is one of those moments
Speaker 1: where I have to wonder, like, was he a good dad?
Speaker 1: Did he really want to be with all these kids?
Speaker 1: Did he really want to have this big, happy family?
Speaker 1: Because we've seen him all season delegating his fatherly responsibilities
Speaker 1: away to his elder children. And now we have this
Speaker 1: beautiful moment that you have manufactured and created on purpose.
Speaker 1: You've manifested as the architect of your lives. It's beautiful picture.
Speaker 1: And you're pissed, you're screaming. You're telling kids that they
Speaker 1: won't be able to stay in the house or they
Speaker 1: won't be able to be a part of the family.
Speaker 1: I mean, why are we doing this? Then? What the heck?
Speaker 1: If you're not happy?
Speaker 2: And then you have that like crazy look on your face,
Speaker 2: like before you smile for the cameras. I'm like demons, yeah,
Speaker 2: straight up, de monic, dmonic, principalities and powers. I'm like,
Speaker 2: chill the fuck out. Yeah, Bro's like it's just a
Speaker 2: weird little moment. It happens for like two seconds, but
Speaker 2: it's definitely a window into how they actually act, like
Speaker 2: probably off camera.
Speaker 1: Which is why Mary is worried. But what's gonna happen
Speaker 1: after the commitment ceremony because this is the raw materials
Speaker 1: that she's dealing with.
Speaker 2: Mary was a fake psychic even back then, she could
Speaker 2: sense some shit was happening.
Speaker 1: Mary Brown one of us. Yeah, I was actually thinking
Speaker 1: when she was getting fitted and she was like interacting
Speaker 1: with the other women that out of all the women
Speaker 1: except maybe Janelle, but maybe even more than Janelle, I
Speaker 1: would want to hang out with Mary really.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: I think she's a fun girl. I think she's a
Speaker 1: girl's girl. And I think she was trying to work
Speaker 1: with Sam. I think she wanted to support Sam. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love Janelle, but she's kind of a dud.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I don't know if she wants to go out to karaoke,
Speaker 1: But I could see Mary with her like Mickey Mouse's
Speaker 1: ears absolutely at a Disney karaoke bar, and I knew
Speaker 1: they're right with her. I mean that's fair singing silver Spring,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I believe, And I would kill the hoodie.
Speaker 2: She probably would love that if she could just like
Speaker 2: let loose and let some of her fucking walls down.
Speaker 1: Nice, let some down, honey.
Speaker 2: Straight up. Anyway, that's it.
Speaker 1: Well, is there anything else that we need to say
Speaker 1: to these beautiful raccoons before we get up on at
Speaker 1: a here pitches?
Speaker 2: Well, if you love our podcast, please go to your
Speaker 2: favorite podcast platform and leave us a glowing five star review.
Speaker 2: Really helps uscrow the pod some more people can join
Speaker 2: us in the dumpster and we really appreciate it, so
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 1: And also, if you're a vip raccoon on Patreon, stay
Speaker 1: tuned for our upcoming after show in just a minute
Speaker 1: or two. But until we come back, please do not
Speaker 1: forget that we truly have nothing but love for you,
Speaker 1: and
Speaker 2: Please o n by it.