Speaker 1: Yeah, so I said, of all the inventions of the
last one hundred years, the dry erase board has to
be the most remarkable.
Speaker 2: Most Okay, you guys, A we got.
Speaker 1: A special comedians and I We've got Cliff Hanger, who
is a time traveling librarian. Let's give it up for Cliffhanger. Everybody,
thank you, Thank you. I am Cliff gonna be telling
you some jokes. And man, this is an amazing crowd
of young readers we have tonight. You know, being a
time traveling librarian is pretty weird. Like yesterday, I was
reading of Three Little Pigs to some kids in nineteen
twenty two, and one of them asked me, what's a smartphone.
I said, oh, that's what we call phones that can
do math homework. And this kid wrote that down if
you're doing a history test and read that in nineteen
twenty two, they had homework solving phones.
Speaker 2: That was probably my bad.
Speaker 1: Oh, man, you guys wouldn't believe some of the things
I've seen in.
Speaker 2: My time traveling library.
Speaker 1: Last week I went to the year three thousand to
return some overdue books and guess what, they don't even
have books anymore. They download stories directly into their brains.
I tried it once, but I accidentally downloaded a cookbook
and spent the whole day thinking in recipes. I was like,
good morning, mom, would you like some scrambled humans?
Speaker 2: I mean eggs. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The worst part about being a time traveling librarian the
late fees. You know how much it costs when a
book is two hundred years overdue. I once had to
pay fine with dinosaur teeth because I accidentally left green
eggs and ham and the Jurassic period, and don't even
get me started on the library cards. In ancient Egypt,
they wrote them on pyramids. Try fitting that.
Speaker 2: In your wallet. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The other day I visited the Middle Ages to read
some bedtime stories to princess kids, but my GPS got confused.
Apparently turn left at the next castle isn't specific enough
when there are castles everywhere. I ended up reading if
you give a mouse a cookie to a bunch of knights.
Now they're all leaving cookies out instead of fighting dragons.
The dragons are actually pretty happy about it, though.
Speaker 2: You know what's really funny?
Speaker 1: In every time period, kids always ask the same question
during storytime.
Speaker 2: Can I go to the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Some things never change, although in the future they have
books that read themselves while you're in the bathroom.
Speaker 2: Talk about multitasking.
Speaker 1: I once tried to organize a reading group with kids
from different time periods. We had a cave kid who
kept trying to draw in the books, a Victorian kid
who was shocked that books could have pictures, and a
kid from twenty five to twenty five who kept trying
to swipe left on the paper page.
Speaker 2: It was chaos, but hey, they all.
Speaker 1: Agreed that Captain Underpants is timeless. Yeah, so you know
the what's that the hardest part of my job book recommendations.
Last month, a young Benjamin Franklin asked me for a
good book about electricity. I almost gave him Percy Jackson
in The Lightning Thief. That would have really changed history.
But you know what the best part about being a
time traveling life No matter where or when I go,
stories bring people together. Whether it's cave paintings or hollow books.
Nothing beats seeing a kid's face light up during story time.
Speaker 2: Well let me end with this, Okay.
Speaker 1: I have a reading session scheduled in ancient Rome in
five minutes, And did you know Roman kids have to
read their books upside down while eating grapes.
Speaker 2: Just kidding, would that be silly?
Speaker 1: Oh man, Thank you guys for being such a wonderful audience. Remember,
reading is the original time machine, no special library car needed.
Speaker 2: Good everybody, we'll see that later