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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I said, of all the inventions of the

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last one hundred years, the dry erase board has to

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be the most remarkable.

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Speaker 2: Most Okay, you guys, A we got.

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Speaker 1: A special comedians and I We've got Cliff Hanger, who

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is a time traveling librarian. Let's give it up for Cliffhanger. Everybody,

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thank you, Thank you. I am Cliff gonna be telling

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you some jokes. And man, this is an amazing crowd

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of young readers we have tonight. You know, being a

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time traveling librarian is pretty weird. Like yesterday, I was

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reading of Three Little Pigs to some kids in nineteen

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twenty two, and one of them asked me, what's a smartphone.

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I said, oh, that's what we call phones that can

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do math homework. And this kid wrote that down if

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you're doing a history test and read that in nineteen

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twenty two, they had homework solving phones.

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Speaker 2: That was probably my bad.

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Speaker 1: Oh, man, you guys wouldn't believe some of the things

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I've seen in.

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Speaker 2: My time traveling library.

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Speaker 1: Last week I went to the year three thousand to

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return some overdue books and guess what, they don't even

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have books anymore. They download stories directly into their brains.

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I tried it once, but I accidentally downloaded a cookbook

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and spent the whole day thinking in recipes. I was like,

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good morning, mom, would you like some scrambled humans?

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Speaker 2: I mean eggs. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The worst part about being a time traveling librarian the

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late fees. You know how much it costs when a

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book is two hundred years overdue. I once had to

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pay fine with dinosaur teeth because I accidentally left green

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eggs and ham and the Jurassic period, and don't even

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get me started on the library cards. In ancient Egypt,

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they wrote them on pyramids. Try fitting that.

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Speaker 2: In your wallet. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The other day I visited the Middle Ages to read

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some bedtime stories to princess kids, but my GPS got confused.

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Apparently turn left at the next castle isn't specific enough

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when there are castles everywhere. I ended up reading if

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you give a mouse a cookie to a bunch of knights.

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Now they're all leaving cookies out instead of fighting dragons.

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The dragons are actually pretty happy about it, though.

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Speaker 2: You know what's really funny?

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Speaker 1: In every time period, kids always ask the same question

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during storytime.

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Speaker 2: Can I go to the bathroom?

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Speaker 1: Some things never change, although in the future they have

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books that read themselves while you're in the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: Talk about multitasking.

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Speaker 1: I once tried to organize a reading group with kids

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from different time periods. We had a cave kid who

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kept trying to draw in the books, a Victorian kid

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who was shocked that books could have pictures, and a

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kid from twenty five to twenty five who kept trying

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to swipe left on the paper page.

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Speaker 2: It was chaos, but hey, they all.

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Speaker 1: Agreed that Captain Underpants is timeless. Yeah, so you know

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the what's that the hardest part of my job book recommendations.

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Last month, a young Benjamin Franklin asked me for a

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good book about electricity. I almost gave him Percy Jackson

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in The Lightning Thief. That would have really changed history.

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But you know what the best part about being a

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time traveling life No matter where or when I go,

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stories bring people together. Whether it's cave paintings or hollow books.

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Nothing beats seeing a kid's face light up during story time.

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Speaker 2: Well let me end with this, Okay.

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Speaker 1: I have a reading session scheduled in ancient Rome in

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five minutes, And did you know Roman kids have to

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read their books upside down while eating grapes.

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Speaker 2: Just kidding, would that be silly?

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Speaker 1: Oh man, Thank you guys for being such a wonderful audience. Remember,

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reading is the original time machine, no special library car needed.

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Speaker 2: Good everybody, we'll see that later