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Speaker 1: Sometimes in life, you might have a problem and not

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even know it. It might not be until someone says, dude,

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you have a problem, that you realize you had a problem,

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and now all of a sudden you're trying to solve

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a problem you never even knew existed. Heesh, well, in

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the first ever Alabel Storytime episode recorded on the road,

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because I clearly don't know how to properly take a vacation,

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I bring you the vegetable detective. Let's get into it.

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Hell Ol, story Time is really not a glory time.

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I have a standing. You'll be fine. Follow the whole storyline. Hellol,

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story Time, might you live at least one time time.

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This is the story of having a problem and not

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even knowing you had a problem. Duncan was one of

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such people. He had a problem. He just didn't know it.

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As far as he was concerned. Everything was just peachy.

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But things weren't peachy. Well, maybe rotten peachy, but they

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certainly weren't peachy. Peachey. You there, someone called running up

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to Duncan. Don't move, stay right where you are. Duncan

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had no idea who this kid was, nor had he

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ever seen the younger and much shorter boy who was

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following behind trying to keep up. Young man, Are you okay?

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Said the older of the two boys, putting his hand

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on Duncan's shoulder. Duncan wondered why this boy had called

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him young man when they were quite obviously the same age.

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Uh I think I'm okay, answered Duncan, and then am

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I okay? The older boy didn't answer, but instead started

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giving instructions to the younger boy. Simon, please try to

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keep up. We haven't much time. Now, lay out this

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blanket and help me lower this young man to the

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ground before he falls down and makes everything worse. Duncan

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was now very curious as to what was happening. Clearly

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these two kids knew something he did not. Is everything okay, guys,

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he asked, as the two kids scrambled to get things ready,

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Ready for what Duncan still didn't know. Very good sign.

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Now you take this arm and i'll take the other.

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Remember lower him very gently. We must take care not

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to let any of us arms our legs crack off.

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This young man looks quite breakable right now, does he not.

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With Duncan lying on his back, the older boy pulled

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out a flashlight. And showing it right in Duncan's eyes.

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Duncan instinctively held up his hand to shield himself from

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the bright light. The older boy acted like this was

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worrisome behavior. After the flashlight came a series of other

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weird instruments, skin pinching, pinchy clamps, ear tugging, ear tuggers,

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and toenail tapping nail tappers, just to name a few guys.

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Could one of you please tell me what's going on?

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The older boy gasped, young man, are you being serious

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right now? Do you really not know? Is your condition

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so bad that you actually can't even feel it? Duncan

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wanted to say, feel what, But then he began wondering

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if maybe he was feeling a bit strange, He probably

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wouldn't be lying on his back in the middle of

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the sidewalk with someone checking his ear love looseness if

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he was feeling fine. The older boy started asking him

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about everything he'd eaten over the past few days. Duncan

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obliged and told him everything he could remember. He could

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tell from the look on the older boy's face that

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he didn't believe him. Young man, I noticed you didn't

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mention one vegetable Duncan winked at the two boys. Yeah,

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I don't know about you guys, but I, for one,

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do not really like vegetables. I mean, my parents do

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their best, but I've gotten pretty good at picking them

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out of my food. The older boy was shaking his head.

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The younger boy, Simon turned and asked, what is it, Detective.

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The older boy kept shaking his head. Simon, it would

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seem this young man has vegetable sneaking parents of the

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highest caliber, Class five, I would presume, probably highly skilled.

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Duncan wasn't sure what any of this had to do

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with his parents. Was he lying ill on the sidewalk

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because of something his parents had done? Was this because

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he avoided eating vegetables? His parents had always warned him

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he would someday regret not eating his vegetables. Class five parents,

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what does that mean? You? Please tell me what's going on.

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The older boy put his hand on Duncan's shoulder, like

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a doctor about to deliver bad news. Young man. The

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reason you're feeling the way you're feeling right now, the

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reason you look the way you look, the reason your

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toenails sounded like a banjo when we tapped on them

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is because your parents have been feeding you vegetables without

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you even knowing it, and presumably a lot of vegetables.

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Duncan felt rattled. He felt confused. It was like his

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world had just been flipped upside down. No, that can't be,

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But how my parents wouldn't do that? And besides, aren't

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vegetables supposed to make people feel good? This got a

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good laugh out of both Simon and the boy so

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far only known as the Detective. Did you hear that, Simon?

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We've got a believer over here. I wonder what other

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things his parents have him Believing that kids need more

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sleep than grown ups, that exercise does a body good.

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Simon had one of his own, that using too much

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toilet paper can clog a toilet. Duncan and the other

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kid just looked at each other. Actually, Simon, that one

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is very real. Grown ups are not making that one up.

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Responsible toilet paper used it just no joke. Duncan should

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have had so many questions, but instead of asking why,

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or how or what he should even do next, there

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was only one thing he wanted to know. So why

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do they call you the detective? The older boy snapped

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his fingers and Simon pulled out two glass jars out

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of a bag. Both jars were filled with red pasta sauce.

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Simon then removed the lids and handed the jars to

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the older boy. The detective knelt down next to Duncan,

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holding both jars next to his face. Tell me, young man,

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do you notice any differences between these two jars of sauce.

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Duncan looked closely. The first jar of sauce expires on

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September third, and the second one says best eaten before

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October fourteenth. The detective had not noticed the jars had

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expiration dates written on them, and this was not what

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he had been going for. Well, other than that, they

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both looked the same, answered Duncan. The detective snapped his

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fingers again, this time Simon and pulled out a blindfold

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from his bag and used it to cover the detective's eyes.

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Simon took the jars, switched them around a few times,

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and then handed them back to the detective. The detective

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sniffed the sauces in both jars and then handed one

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of them back to Simon. Pulling the blindfold off, he

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started talking to Duncan again. Both jars do have the

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same sauce except for one tiny difference. The one I

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just handed back to my assistant has something hidden somewhere inside.

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While the detective was explaining this to Duncan, he was

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also fishing around inside the jar with a spoon. Upon

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pulling the spoon out, Duncan asked, what is that tiny

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little thing you found there? The detective smiled, This young

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man is a mushroom, a finely chopped mushroom, the kind

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of mushroom parents just love trying to hide inside their

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past the sauces. This here is the reason why you

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feel like you're slowly falling apart. And this is why

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they call me the detective, the vegetable Detective. I help

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kids like you fight back against common vegetable crimes, crime

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that are unfortunately committed far too often by parents like yours.

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Duncan was impressed. This detective guy clearly knew what he

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was talking about. It basically just sniffed a tiny mushroom

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out of a big jar of sauce. So, Detective, what

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am I supposed to do about this? Will I still

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be able to walk? The older boy threw out his hand.

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Please call me Alistair. No, actually, maybe you should call

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me the Detective. I think I like that better. Wait, no,

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maybe just Alistair unless Alistair the Vegetable Detective isn't too

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much of a mouthful for you. Duncan decided that, in

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his condition, Alistair the Vegetable Detective was too much of

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a mouthful at this rate. Who knew if he'd still

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be speaking tomorrow. He was feeling stranger by the minute,

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though it probably didn't help that he'd been lying on

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a hard sidewalk for the last twenty minutes. Young Man,

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you've unknowingly been eating vegetables, and judging by how terrible

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you look, I'm guessing it's been a lot of vegetables.

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If you're able to make it home tonight, which in

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your condition would surprise me. I don't want you to

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say anything your parents. They mustn't know that you were

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onto them. All I want you to do is hide

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the vegetables, all the vegetables. If you can do that,

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it might not be too late for you. Allister the

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Vegetable Detective snapped his fingers again, and Simon handed him

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a roll of tape, which he used to reinforce Duncan's

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legs to his Torso no need to resk having one's

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legs possibly coming loose. With all those vegetables coursing through

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their system, Duncan went home and immediately did what he'd

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been instructed to do. Not a vegetable was left behind. Duncan,

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would you like some supper? Sweety pie, his mother asked.

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But not only had his mother made pasta sauce for dinner,

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she'd also prepared it before he had hidden all the vegetables.

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Who knew what might be hiding inside that sauce. Thanks? Mom,

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But I might just head to bed early tonight. I'm

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feeling a little strange. You see, perhaps something I ate.

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Duncan's mother put her hand on his forehead to check

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his temperature. Will you look okay, Duncan? This, of course

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I am like exactly the kind of thing a vegetable

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sneaking parent would say. But Duncan's let well that night,

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knowing he had won that round, and for the entire week,

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he remained vigilant, checking all of his food carefully for

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any signs of vegetables. But nothing could have prepared him

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for the surprise of finding Alistair, the vegetable detective, and

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his assistant Simon, hiding under Duncan's table one day, Duncan

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down here. How these two had managed to sneak under

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the table without Duncan or either of his parents noticing,

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was anyone's guess, Duncan, I thought you said you were

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going to hide the vegetables. You look absolutely terrible, like

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just awful. Duncan bent down and whispered lovely to see

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you too. And I did get rid of all the vegetables.

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I haven't had a vegetable and close to a week.

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Duncan sat back up and pretended to eat his meal

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like everything was normal. Duncan, were you just saying something

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to your socks my socks, yes, just reminding them that

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they still smell very much like socks. Can't have the

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sticking up this lovely dinner you made, mom. Duncan took

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another bite of his past up before he got interrupted again.

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Duncan down here, We need to see what you're eating. Alistair,

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the vegetable detective held out a glass vial, which he

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was expecting Duncan to use to provide him with a

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sample of his dinner, but it seemed like his parents

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weren't looking. Duncan quietly spooned some of the sauce into

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a vial under the table, Duncan, were you just trying

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to feed some of your dinner to your pants? Feed

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my pants? Uh? Well, I noticed my pants haven't had

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that much to eat today. Can't be easy for them

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watching me grow up and not spill so much food

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on them anymore. Duncan was relieved when that awkward meal

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was over. He found the detective and his assistant waiting

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for him down in the basement. Alistair was studying something

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under a microscope. Well, Simon, who didn't appear to have

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anything better to do, was trying to balance a ping

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pong ball on his nose. Duncan would tooke, use you long,

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get over here, made Duncan look at something under a microscope.

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I don't know what this is. What am I supposed

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to be looking at? Whatever it was, it was very small,

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one might even say microscopic. This, my friend, is a zucchini,

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said Alistair. A zucchini found in the sample of your

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dinner that you were just eating. So I'm going to

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ask you once again, did you or did you not

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hide the vegetables? Duncan swore that he had. Alistair was

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now looking more serious than ever then this can only

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mean one thing. Your parents have a secret stash, a

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secret vegetable stash. Young man. These people are good, too good.

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I can see now why you look so absolutely terribly

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stupendously rottenly awful. Like what a miserable looking kid you are.

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Duncan was getting a little tired of hearing this. He

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knew he had a problem that he didn't before. No,

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he had, he just didn't know what to do about it. Allister,

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isn't there anything else I can do? I just want

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to feel norm again. Alistair snapped his fingers and Simon

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handed the detective a bag of sugar. Duncan, if you

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can't get rid of the vegetables, then you're just gonna

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have to neutralize them, neutralize them. Duncan wanted to know.

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That's right, Simon, tell him what it means to neutralize something.

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Simon looked like he wished he hadn't just been asked

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to do that. Neutralizing something means like, you know, so,

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like you know how there are cows that can be melked,

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and like there's a moon in the sky, but at

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the same time, not every cave has a bear. Well, yeah,

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that's basically what it means. Alistair was shaking his head

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like a teacher whose students never listened to him. Duncan,

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you're basically gonna use the sugar to cancel out all

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the bad things the vegetables have been doing to you.

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All you're gonna do is sneak some of this stuff

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into everything, and I mean everything. The more sugar, the better.

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These vegetables won't even know what hit him. Simon was grinning, Yeah,

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those vegetables will be all like, oh no, my evil powers.

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What's happening to my evil powers? Duncan started grinning too.

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He was ready to show those vegetables that there was

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a new sheriff in town, a sheriff who was ready

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to stand up to evil. The next week, Duncan did

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as he had been instructed to do. He started sneaking

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sugar into everything. Pasta, sauce, rice, casserole, pizza, hamburgers, you

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name it. He was adding sugar to it, and he

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was surprised at how easy it was to do. No

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wonder his parents had gotten away with this for so long.

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But all the while, Duncan kept wondering when he'd start

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feeling and looking like a normal kid. He was doing

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everything he was supposed to be doing, but it almost

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felt like he was still getting worse. He decided to

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mention this to the vegetable Detective. Was it possible his

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parents were on to him? Had they been doing something

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else without him knowing? What if they had found a

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way to sneak in a new kind of vegetable, like

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some kind of super vegetable that was so powerful even

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sugar would be no match for it. When the vegetable

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Detective down Duncan, this time, Duncan was lying back down

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on the sidewalk again. Allister, Simon, it's not going well.

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My friends, my parents, they're just too good at this, Allister.

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The Vegetable Detective put his hand on Duncan's shoulder like

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he had that very first day, but this time he

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did not look as worried. Duncan, maybe you don't feel

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it yet, but my goodness, are you ever starting to

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look better? Wow? Are you seeing this? Simon? Simon hadn't

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actually been paying attention. He was too busy trying to

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make an acorn fall from a tree using a mind power.

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Oh yeah, it looks a million times better. The sugar

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is definitely helping. Now, let's get back to that acorn

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over there. It felt nice to hear this, but Duncan

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still wondered why he felt worse than ever. Just keep

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doing what you're doing, Duncan encouraged, Alister, you look great

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and soon you'll be feeling great too. But that wasn't

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the same message Duncan received when he got home. Oh my, Duncan,

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you look absolutely terrible. Are you f feeling okay? The truth,

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of course, was that Duncan was not feeling okay. After

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looking in a mirror, he saw for himself. Yoo, says,

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I look so absolutely terribly stupendously rottenly awful. Like what

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a miserable looking kid I am right now, Duncan looked

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very much like how he felt his mother. Trying to

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be helpful, or so, she appeared. Handed Duncan a drink.

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Try some of this smoothie I made. I think it

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will help you feel better. Duncan was nervous. It felt

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like a trick. Nice try, mom, But oh, just drink

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the smoothie, Duncan. It's good for you, Yes, mommy. Duncan

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closed his eyes and shugged the entire thing down. The

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last movie he remembered drinking had been loaded with so

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many berries it tasted like a sugary super drink. Yet

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this movie tasted different. His mother had been up to something,

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and Duncan knew it, but rather than try to hide it,

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Duncan was surprised that his mother just came rite out

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and told him about all the vegetables she had tossed

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into the blender. Duncan could feel himself getting furious, but

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then he noticed something else. That drink had been packed

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with spinach, and yet somehow it didn't even taste all

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that bad. Actually, it tasted pretty good. The other thing

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he noticed was that he was already feeling a bit better,

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like somehow the smoothie packed with vegetables was making him

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feel better and not worse. Duncan took another look in

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the mirror. He could see that he was already starting

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to look better too. He might even say he looked

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great if it weren't for the tiny flecks of spinach

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stuck in his teeth. Duncan was now realizing the problem

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he'd been told he had that he didn't know he had,

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wasn't actually a problem at all. He'd been feeling fine

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this whole time, and alistair and Simon were no different

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than any other kid trying to come up with excuses

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as to why they shouldn't eat their vegetables. Duncan felt

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his stomach rumble. It was nearing supper time, and he

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found himself looking forward to some of his mother's healthy cooking.

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He still wasn't thrilled about having to eat vegetables, but

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he was okay with his mother finding ways to cleverly

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sneak in the good stuff without him knowing. So, Mom,

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what's for dinner? Some of that healthy sauce you make? Actually, Dear,

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I know this is going to sound a little strange,

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but I haven't been able to stop thinking about sugar like.

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I don't know why, but for some reason I seem

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to have developed quite the sweet tooth this week. So

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for supper, I was thinking it might be fun to

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have some vanilla cake. Hope you're okay with that the end.

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That's the story, And here is your question of the week.

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On a scale of one to ten, how good are

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you at detecting unwonted ingredients in your food? Thanks to Duncan,

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Alistair and Simon, and shout out to the following listeners.

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Hunter and Milo from North Vancouver, Lola from Pennsylvania, Maya

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and Tobin Wagner from Santa Monica, California. M J. Nally

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from Indiana, broke Aylworth from the USA, Devin, Anya and

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Jaden from Los Angeles, California, Luca and Dallas from Atlanta, Georgia.

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And I'mmara and Soraya from Lansing, Michigan. I'll have more

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next time, but until then, thanks for listening and I'll

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catch you on the next one.