Speaker 1: Oh my god, please, I am begging you just ten seconds? Please?
Can you just not fall over for ten seconds? That's
all it will take for us to get to the couch.
I swear we can do it. I know we can,
just a few more steps. Oh my gosh, we actually
made it. I honestly did not think that we were
going to. I really thought you were going to drop
like a sack of rocks and take me down with you. Yeah,
it's called lying. I do it a lot, And so
do you like when you tell me, oh, no, you're
not gonna get that drunk, You're only gonna have a
few drinks and then sober up before driving yourself home.
In fact, you're really good at that kind of lying,
since I absolutely believed you up until you were leaning
against me and yelling in my ear that you wanted
to go home so you could put some fuzzy socks
on your hands because they were cold. Not that drunk,
Not that drunk. You were absolutely that drunk, Yes you were.
You were yelling in my ear the entire way home,
and I could smell how drunk you were. Your breath
smelled like artificial fruit and vodka. Decided to use your
mouth as a wedding venue, and then invited all their friends, rum, fireball,
and club soda to the reception. If you want the
honest truth, you still kind of smell like someone mixed
a bag of sour gummy worms with hard lemonade. Yeah,
no problem, I just thought you'd like to know. Oh,
shut up, my breath does not smell that bad. I
mean it doesn't. Right, didn't even have much, and that
was like hours ago. Hey, if fireball does not smell
that bad, there are like way worse things to smell like.
I mean, yeah, but after a party like that, I'd
say I smelled better than most people did on their
way out. Oh, absolutely, I saw them. Those two were
a mess, But knowing them, what else could we have expected?
A then tears to both of us. Escaping that absolute mess,
We got out of there exactly at the right time.
I'd say, I got a call on the way home,
and I genuinely don't know who it was, but I
know that they were at the party, and I heard
fire alarms in the background. I didn't hear too much
of what they were saying, but from the sound of it,
they dropped their phone into a pool or something. Yeah,
I feel bad, but I'm more curious about where they
found a pool. We were nowhere near a pool. The
only thing I could think of is that they filled
the bathtub for some reason, which why I guess. Sure,
anything is possible, But honestly, if they thought that leaning
over a bathtub full of water while making a drunken
phone call was a good idea, then sucks to suck.
That's on them. I'm sure we'll hear all about it tomorrow. Hell,
I'm sure we'll hear about a lot of stuff tomorrow. However,
until then, I plan on fully enjoying the calm before
the storm while sleeping off the memory of me singing
sexy back like a damn banshee. Yes it was that bad.
Quit trying to tell me it wasn't. Yes, it was, Yes,
it was, absolutely it was. But I appreciate your support.
Oh my god, yes it was. But I'm not gonna
argue with you anymore about it. Okay, let's just agree
to disagree, but know that deep down I'm right good.
I'm glad we can agree kind of anyway. Are you
doing all right? I think you'll be okay if I
head out. No, do you need something you want some
water or something to eat. Oh no, are you gonna
be sick? What? Why do you need me to stay
with you? I mean, I love hanging out with you
and all, but it's just not really hanging out if
I'm sitting on the couch and you're asleep on your bed. Hey,
real quick for me, define wanting to sleep with me?
Oh oh oh oh okay, right you meant like literally
sleep and cuddle. Sure, sure, ah, but just sleep in
cuddle that's what you meant, right, Okay, just making sure
that's what you meant. Huh No, that's that's totally what
I thought you meant. I yeah, I knew that that's
what you meant. I don't think so. I have to
run some errands on the other side of town tomorrow,
and I'll have to leave early so I can be
the traffic and be back before. Oh come on, don't
look at me like that. I have to wake up
early tomorrow. I can't stay here. Stop it. Do not
give me the sad puppy eyes. Yes, I know I'm
weak for the puffy eyes. That's why I'm telling you
to quit. Oh fine, you win? Is that what you
want to hear? Yes, I'll stay here and we can
go to bed together. Are you happy now? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
quit your cheering. Okay, let's just go to bed. I
still have errands to run tomorrow, and I'd like to
get some sleep before I have to get up and
be a responsible member of society. Do you still need
help walking? Okay? All right, I'm gonna take that as
a yest. Here, lean on me. I got you. Okay,
here we go. Do you want to change before we
go to bed or are you sleeping in that? That's
what I figured. As nice as you look in that outfit,
it looks pretty uncomfortable. Yeah, it looks really good on you.
I feel like everyone looked at you for a bit
too long tonight. Fair enough. Looking good is nice and all,
but nothing is better than changing out of all of
that to put on something comfy. Agreed, That's why I
went with something comfortable this time. Yeah, go ahead and change.
I'll turn around. Go ahead and change so we can
sleep and cuddle. Sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hurry up.
You know I'm not going to help you change your
clothes because you're practically naked. Or did you forget that already?
You say you're drunk, not stupid, I say that you're
drunk and stupid. In the end, who's truly to say
which one of us is right? Hey, no need to
throw stuff around. Just because you know I'm right, doesn't
mean you need to launch an attack and throw your
hoodie at me. No, you know what, I won't give
you the sweatshirt back. In fact, I think I'm gonna
wear it. Yes I am. If you're gonna make me
stay here and cuddle you to sleep, I get to
call DIBs. I'm wearing a comfy hoodie to bed. I'd
say it's a fair trade. Well that's the only deal
I'm gonna cut you, so take it or leave it?
Final offer. Uh huh, yep, that's what I thought you'd say.
Now hurry up and finish getting dressed. I'm tired and
I want to go to bed. What do you mean
you're having trouble? How can you possibly be having trouble
putting on pajamas of all things? It's just a shirt
and some pants. I mean, it is just a shirt
and some pants. What is taking you so long? Seriously?
Are you okay? Do you need help? Seriously? Still? How
is a shirt giving you this much trouble? Ah? Here,
hands it over. Maybe there's something wrong with Oh no, hey,
I think I found the problem. Yeah, the problem is
that this is not a shirt. These are pants. Yeah,
it's the really you look at them, That's exactly what
I was telling you. Those are pants. Serious, How did
you even confuse them for a shirt? Listen, Even if
you do have a shirt in the exact same pattern,
I feel that you should have figured it out at
some point, specifically when you were trying to put them
over your head. Did you genuinely not notice? What the
would you quit throwing your clothes at me? Your aim
is horrible anyway, It doesn't matter. If mine's just as bad,
yours is still worse. Yeah, well, just shut up. It
doesn't need to make sense. Both of us have equally
awful aims, but yours is still infinitely more awful than mine,
because it just is. Because I said so, because I
know everything, past, present, and future. Okay, but seriously, are
you dressed yet? Like? Please? My head is starting to hurt,
and I think my legs are planning to betray me
within the next few seconds. And while I'm sure i'd
have a lovely time sleeping on the ground cuddling with
you in your bed sounds borderline euphoric right now. Finally,
did you manage to put your clothes on right this?
You know, I almost wasn't gonna say anything, but you
look way too happy with yourself right now, which is
pretty funny since your pants are backwards and your shirt
isn't side out. But at this point, with how drunk
you are, I honestly think that's probably the best you
can do. Yes, I'm proud of you. Now let's go
to bed before either of us has to pick each
other up off the ground. Okay, I don't think we
have the strength to carry each other to bed at
this point. My arms feel like jelly. I may probably
have just as much structural stability, all right. Then, after
you scoot over a bit so I could get in
and toss me one of those pillows. Thanks. Having trouble
getting comfortable, I figured usually when you're this drunk, you're
just out like a light. I guess you're just in
a cuddly mood. Huh, Come here, lay your head on
my chest. Ow. I said to lay your head down,
not try to impale your chin through my rib cage. Fine,
whatever you say, just lay down and go to bed woche. Damn,
you really are feeling cuddly? Huh? What am I your
teddy bear? Oh? Really? My favorite Blushi really the only
one you need? Oh God, you're so freaking cute. I
said that you look cute. Why are you so surprised
I've told you that you're cute before. I don't really
think there's a difference. Saying that you look cute and
you are cute. It's the same thing, aren't they. Well
what's the difference then? Okay, so you're saying that look
cute it's just about how you look, while saying are cute?
Is everything about you? Okay? Got it? Well I mean both. Yeah,
really you are cute and you look cute. Of course
I do. You're absolutely adorable because you're the cutest person
I've ever seen. And I because I love you, as
you know, more than a friend. Yes, really, I love you.
I love you and I want to be with you.
Of course I do. I mean how could I not
love you? You are everything to me. We've been best
friends for so long, and through all these years, I've
realized more and more how much I wouldn't be able
to live without you. I don't know how I could
live without you, because there's no one in this world
that could replace you. Do you really mean that? Is
it just the alcohol talking? Really, you're being honest with me?
Oh my gosh. Okay, So then we are absolutely going
on a date tomorrow. We're gonna sleep in and once
we're not hungover, we're gonna go on a date and
it's gonna be the best date that we've ever been on,
and we're gonna do cute couple of stuff and it's
gonna be fantastic. Kiss you if you want to, We
can kiss as much as you want. I'd be more
than willing to kiss you until forever, until the heat
death of the universe. We can definitely kiss you mean
right now, listen. As nice as that sounds, I want
our first kiss to be when we're both sober. Also,
just what do you take me for? If we're gonna
go on a date, We have to do this properly. First,
we go on a date, and then we can kiss after.
I mean, we can kiss as much as you want
after that, but let me at least pretend to be
patient enough to take this slow. Just one kiss on
the cheek, Yeah, I can do that, but just one Okay,
how is that good? Yeah, I'm glad. Oh my goodness,
I'm so happy right now. I don't think I can
take any more excitement. My heart might just explode into confetti.
Let's just go to bed for now. Of course, come here,
snuggle closer to me again. Fair warning, though, I'm not
gonna let you go. Remember i'm your favorite plushy, and
I'm all yours for the cuddling a sleep. Well, okay,
we have a huge day tomorrow. I can't wait to
wake up next to you.