Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
Speaker 1: covering Dungeon Crawler Carl chapters twenty seven through thirty one.
Speaker 1: In these chapters, our friends finally get to go on
Speaker 1: the show and get interviewed. It was so much fun,
Speaker 1: you guys. I am very much a donut in temperaments.
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 1: I really get it, girl, I.
Speaker 2: Do so much.
Speaker 1: Welcome to spoil Me. Welcome to the show everyone. I
Speaker 1: am Natasha. Thank you very much to Michael for commissioning
Speaker 1: this episode. Michael's here in the chat, and Michael has
Speaker 1: already finished booking the second book in the series, guys,
Speaker 1: so everybody rejoice because it is ready to go. I
Speaker 1: don't know how much of a gap there is between
Speaker 1: finishing that one and starting the next one, but it's
Speaker 1: soon because the book second book will wrap in July,
Speaker 1: so everybody keep your ears to the ground for that.
Speaker 1: So thank you very much, Michael. I really am excited
Speaker 1: to get to dive into the second one pretty soon.
Speaker 1: This section is very funny to me because I didn't
Speaker 1: think it was going to happen so soon, if I'm
Speaker 1: being honest. The whole thing with like the I had
Speaker 1: put out there like, potentially, what is it that we've
Speaker 1: got like going on with these interviews, what would the
Speaker 1: vibe be? YadA, YadA. I didn't think we would get
Speaker 1: here so quickly. I kind of expected that there might
Speaker 1: be some clips of them shown first, and then maybe
Speaker 1: in the next one we would start to get and
Speaker 1: by next one, I mean next floor, even though they
Speaker 1: do make it into the next floor in this section,
Speaker 1: that's not really what they're being interviewed about, right, So
Speaker 1: I just I didn't expect all of this to happen
Speaker 1: so close to the start of the crawl for them,
Speaker 1: which I have to admit, and this is part of
Speaker 1: me confessing to being a Donut. I didn't think through
Speaker 1: the implications of how so all I could All I
Speaker 1: could think was if you get onto the show, that
Speaker 1: it's just a good thing for you as long as
Speaker 1: you handle the camera well. But what winds up happening
Speaker 1: is that it seems Donut get so wrapped up in
Speaker 1: her performance that as far as Karl is concerned, she
Speaker 1: starts to sort of lose sight of what's really important
Speaker 1: or at least what her fans so they're called, want
Speaker 1: to see from her. And I just thought that that
Speaker 1: was a really good point that he says something later
Speaker 1: about how the reason that they like you is because
Speaker 1: you behave like this, and if you start to change that,
Speaker 1: then they aren't going to feel the same way about you,
Speaker 1: which that I definitely do see and that I could
Speaker 1: put together for myself. But the thing that hadn't kind
Speaker 1: of crossed my mind was how much more of a
Speaker 1: target that would potentially make them, how much information people
Speaker 1: might have about them now, And just like some of
Speaker 1: the downsides of this, it seemed to me a full
Speaker 1: on unmitigated victory to be interviewed, and it made me
Speaker 1: feel a little foolish once he starts pointing out all
Speaker 1: of the downsides to this, that I hadn't really considered
Speaker 1: any of that because I forget about how there are
Speaker 1: other people who are going to get to watch these
Speaker 1: Like what I kept thinking about was sort of in
Speaker 1: reality shows where you are doing that talking head to
Speaker 1: the camera thing. It's a whole different vibe, right because
Speaker 1: what you say to the camera, your other players don't
Speaker 1: get to see. Later on when it airs, then they
Speaker 1: get to see it, but it's way past the time
Speaker 1: that anything can be done about it. So I had
Speaker 1: forgotten about the fact that all of this is going
Speaker 1: to be aired so that everybody can see all of
Speaker 1: it as it's happening, and that puts you in the
Speaker 1: position of wanting to please the audience but also not
Speaker 1: wanting to do too much or say too much that
Speaker 1: could potentially like like, let others know what you've got
Speaker 1: up your sleeve in terms of weapons and stuff. They're
Speaker 1: going to be taking film review fighting, so you kind
Speaker 1: of can't avoid that to a degree depending on what
Speaker 1: clips they show. And there's just a lot of implications
Speaker 1: to doing it this way with everybody being part of
Speaker 1: the viewing process that I hadn't considered, And I won't
Speaker 1: say exactly that it takes some of the fun out
Speaker 1: of it, because it doesn't precisely. What I mean more
Speaker 1: is that it adds another layer of complexity that could
Speaker 1: be really dangerous. And I'm glad at least that he
Speaker 1: has the presence of mind to see it and point
Speaker 1: it out to Donut, and that she seems to listen
Speaker 1: to him. It seems like she really does kind of
Speaker 1: get it, and he has to break through her excited
Speaker 1: Hayes first, but I got the feeling that she really
Speaker 1: did see his point. So I'm getting ahead of myself here,
Speaker 1: but let's start off with twenty seven. We have just
Speaker 1: finished killing all of these tusklings, and Agatha is really
Speaker 1: pissed because Carl had popped her shopping cart into his inventory,
Speaker 1: but he takes it out and gives it back to her.
Speaker 1: He winds up getting like an asshole ward or asshole
Speaker 1: box and achievement because he took something from another crawler,
Speaker 1: but he did give it back. I love that she
Speaker 1: goes through it and it's just sort of like, did
Speaker 1: you take anything? Is it still the same? And Agatha,
Speaker 1: it turns out she doesn't actually have an inventory yet
Speaker 1: because she hasn't even gone through the onboarding process, so
Speaker 1: there's no way for her to put stuff away. But
Speaker 1: nevertheless she is at level two and then he sees
Speaker 1: her level go up again because her just being here
Speaker 1: when the fight happened, despite the fact that she didn't
Speaker 1: really participate at all, didn't if that wound up getting
Speaker 1: her experience points just by proximity. Something that comes up
Speaker 1: later that I find pretty fascinating is that your girl
Speaker 1: isn't on the show, and we don't really know why not.
Speaker 1: She gets edited out and I am sort of wondering
Speaker 1: if they don't like for people to realize that you
Speaker 1: can just sort of passively be around and still be
Speaker 1: leveling up. I really like, could it be that she
Speaker 1: is a plant somehow?
Speaker 3: Is is she?
Speaker 1: Like? The whole assumption that everybody has been sort of
Speaker 1: making so far is that Agatha is mentally unwell. She
Speaker 1: is unhoused, and a lot of times people who are
Speaker 1: unhoused have got mental illness that they don't have the
Speaker 1: resource is to cope with. So I'm sort of wondering
Speaker 1: if Agatha isn't somebody like that's different than just the
Speaker 1: regular Old Earth humans, And maybe that's part of this.
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's something weird though, about the fact
Speaker 1: that they don't want her scene by the audience that
Speaker 1: I can't understand. So let's see.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: What did surprise me was that Agatha was level two,
Speaker 1: not one. She'd hit level four thanks to the boss
Speaker 1: Yolanda had jumped from five to level six. I didn't
Speaker 1: even want to think about how all that experience was distributed.
Speaker 1: It seemed there were a dozen different calculators running all
Speaker 1: at once. To figure it out, we need to find
Speaker 1: whatever the boss dropped I said, the Dominatrix lady had it.
Speaker 1: It's I already got mine, and the AI is telling
Speaker 1: them they're the entire but explore there's one. There's no
Speaker 1: reason to be frightened, not when the trusty field guide
Speaker 1: has added monster tizes to this area of the map.
Speaker 1: Now when you gaze upon the unknown, that fear is
Speaker 1: somewhat lessened. Instead of delving into the strange, mysterious dark
Speaker 1: being devoured by an unseen horror, you will now know
Speaker 1: exactly what it is as it chews upon your tasty innerds.
Speaker 1: And now when he zooms out the map, he can
Speaker 1: see a whole lot more mob level two through five
Speaker 1: Axe Beak. At this point, an old man comes in
Speaker 1: named Randall, and it's just like, hey guys, it looks
Speaker 1: real bad in here. Is everything okay? And the proposal
Speaker 1: later on that I think Brandon comes up with is
Speaker 1: to send them down the next staircase as soon as possible,
Speaker 1: and so they will be in stasis because it won't
Speaker 1: matter for them if they are in stasis, because they're
Speaker 1: not able to fight anyway. So the lack of advantage there,
Speaker 1: all of that is no like they're not going to
Speaker 1: be leveling up. They're not going to be fighting. The
Speaker 1: people who are watching the show aren't going to very
Speaker 1: likely be wanting to sponsor them, and so a whole
Speaker 1: aspect of how the game works isn't going to like
Speaker 1: matter for them. Just keeping them alive will matter. And
Speaker 1: I am really really curious how long the game is
Speaker 1: going to let them get away with this, because the
Speaker 1: point is supposed to be quote survival of the fittest,
Speaker 1: even though we all know that's not even true either,
Speaker 1: But is that part of why Agatha has been cut out?
Speaker 1: Is like she doesn't even really count as a crawler
Speaker 1: if she hasn't gone through the introductory process of do
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: I keep feeling like the fact that they are trying
Speaker 1: to keep these old people alive, I think they're doing
Speaker 1: the right thing, but I am starting to wonder if
Speaker 1: it's going to reach a point where the game just
Speaker 1: decides I'm not letting you do this anymore because it's
Speaker 1: not part of the entertainment factor for people, and so
Speaker 1: it will put them in a position where they all
Speaker 1: have to die and or take the decision away from them.
Speaker 1: I feel like it would have to be put them
Speaker 1: in the position where they have to die, though, because
Speaker 1: it's not as interesting to just kill them. You have
Speaker 1: to make them do something that results in them needing
Speaker 1: to make this decision, right, something very dramatic and upsetting.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm just really, really really curious how this
Speaker 1: could possibly work it long term. And again, just because
Speaker 1: it won't work up until the very end does not
Speaker 1: mean that it isn't worth doing. I still think it's
Speaker 1: worth doing because, as Carl says later, what's the point
Speaker 1: of living if I can't live with myself one hundred percent?
Speaker 1: So I support this, but I am just trying to
Speaker 1: see how it could work out later and the ways
Speaker 1: in which maybe their agency will get further stripped away
Speaker 1: because these people don't make good television, or alternatively, it
Speaker 1: might be that they make great television that trying to
Speaker 1: keep the old people alive turns out to be part
Speaker 1: of what makes this crew so compelling to people. You know,
Speaker 1: I really don't know. It kind of depends on the
Speaker 1: tastes of the viewers, and we're sort of going along
Speaker 1: with the viewers on average, seeming to be sort of
Speaker 1: the same as like regular American Earth viewers in terms
Speaker 1: of what they want to see in a reality show. Right,
Speaker 1: So I actually could see that maybe them being the
Speaker 1: protectors of this group of elderly might work for them
Speaker 1: and might actually make it so that the game wants
Speaker 1: to keep the old people alive for the community aspect
Speaker 1: of this party, I hope. So it's just like, there
Speaker 1: are so many moving parts and there are so many
Speaker 1: determinations that could be made. Ah, I'm so curious. Okay,
Speaker 1: oh oh, we have them looting everything. I love that
Speaker 1: there is a strap on dildo that IMMANI is just
Speaker 1: like ew and drops it and Donut immediately grabs it
Speaker 1: and looks at Carl and is like, you said, everything right,
Speaker 1: and let's see. He goes over and asks Donut, what
Speaker 1: do you want to do? And she says what do
Speaker 1: you mean? And he's like, well, should we stay with
Speaker 1: them or do our own thing? And she says, oh, sweetie,
Speaker 1: come on now, let's not lie. You know what you
Speaker 1: want to do already, and he's just like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I suggest we do what we've been doing. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be one or the other. We set up
Speaker 1: a place for them to remain safe. Then you and
Speaker 1: I go and do our own thing. We can keep
Speaker 1: our party and set up a group chat with the others.
Speaker 1: I know how to do it now. When we find
Speaker 1: the next set of stairs, we go get them and
Speaker 1: bring them with us. I grinned down at the cat.
Speaker 1: I knew there was a good kiddy in there somewhere,
Speaker 1: she bristled. If it were up to me, I'd leave
Speaker 1: them all. But I know you're a softy. Besides, if
Speaker 1: we get them down to the third level, we'll need
Speaker 1: someone with thumbs. If you're going to turn into a cat.
Speaker 1: I'm not turning myself into a cat. I couldn't even
Speaker 1: if I want to anyway. Mordecai said so, and he
Speaker 1: asks who Ferdinand is here? And she just like, no idea,
Speaker 1: what you mean? Where's Agatha and immediately changes the subject,
Speaker 1: and eventually there's He notices that there is a ramp
Speaker 1: and that she has already gone.
Speaker 2: Down the stairs, so to speak.
Speaker 1: So he goes over to Brandon and he tells him, like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go make sure things are clear, then you
Speaker 1: can bring them through. We'll go down and try to
Speaker 1: find the closest safe room. Our guy said, they're just
Speaker 1: as easy to find on the second floor as the first.
Speaker 1: Once we do, what a safe path to it? Thank you,
Speaker 1: I mean that I shook it. Then then he went
Speaker 1: to his knee and scratched donut, you two, princess, donut
Speaker 1: of course, sweetheart. At the bottom of the stairs turned
Speaker 1: ramp was a door almost identical to the one we'd
Speaker 1: use to enter the dungeon. I stared at the giant
Speaker 1: carving of the fish man. Go fuck yourself, I thought,
Speaker 1: as I put my hand against the door. I pushed,
Speaker 1: but instead of the gate opening like last time, there
Speaker 1: was a flash of light and a moment of disorienting nausea,
Speaker 1: followed by a quick feeling of falling. And then suddenly
Speaker 1: Donat and I were standing in a plush room, staring
Speaker 1: at a strange round door. All of my status bars
Speaker 1: had disappeared. I turned in a circle, bewildered. There was
Speaker 1: a couch that appeared to be made of blue crushed velvet.
Speaker 1: I stood upon a thick, soft carpet, also blue. There
Speaker 1: was a strange sense of motion to the room, and
Speaker 1: I immediately knew we were on a boat. I could
Speaker 1: tell right away from experience that this vessel was large,
Speaker 1: but not huge, maybe one hundred feet. At the far
Speaker 1: end of the room was a bar with an honest
Speaker 1: to goodness fruit basket sitting on it. Sitting next to
Speaker 1: the basket was a stemmed bowl filled with what seemed
Speaker 1: to be catfood. Instinctively, I made a fist and my
Speaker 1: gauntlet appeared, only partially relieved, I summoned, I unsummoned my weapon.
Speaker 1: What the fuck is this? I asked, But the second
Speaker 1: the words came out of my mouth, I knew exactly
Speaker 1: what this was. So they are going to be interviewed
Speaker 1: Dungeon Crawler after hours with Odette, and we get some
Speaker 1: really fun info about how exactly this works. You're standing
Speaker 1: in a production trailer located on the surface of your planet.
Speaker 1: You're still technically in the game, even though you can't
Speaker 1: use your menus like safe rooms. Production trailers have their
Speaker 1: own rules too many to discuss. I really am here
Speaker 1: with you, however, my engineer and I are the only
Speaker 1: other people here. When you walk through that door, you're
Speaker 1: going to walk onto a studio set. From what I understand,
Speaker 1: the setup should be very familiar to your culture. This studio,
Speaker 1: including Odette and the entire audience, is not really there.
Speaker 1: The couch is there, but everything else is virtual. They're
Speaker 1: filming from a location very far away. I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: tell you it is similar to the hollow deck from
Speaker 1: your television series Star Trek. However, you won't be able
Speaker 1: to touch anything. Any other guests, even fellow crawlers, will
Speaker 1: also be hollow. At least for this interview. You are
Speaker 1: the only crawlers in this particular production trailer. I will
Speaker 1: tell you when it's time. You will walk onto set.
Speaker 1: You will wave, and you will proceed directly to the
Speaker 1: couch next to the desk desk, your majesty sitting closest
Speaker 1: to Odette. Do not approach the audience, or you will
Speaker 1: run into a wall that you can't see. The room
Speaker 1: is not as big as it appears. Questions, make up,
Speaker 1: donut ask not. For this interview, the audience will have
Speaker 1: just watched highlights reel of your time in the dungeon,
Speaker 1: followed by the entirety of that last boss fight. It
Speaker 1: will appear as if you walked straight from the fight.
Speaker 2: To the stage. Got it?
Speaker 1: So we address her as Odette correct live or taped taped,
Speaker 1: though it will be tunneled in just a few short hours.
Speaker 1: What's the tone of the show. Is it more editorial
Speaker 1: or more fluff? What works better with your audience? Do
Speaker 1: you want us to be serious and more technical? Or
Speaker 1: should I just let Carl be Karl. Donut was asking
Speaker 1: these questions as if she'd been doing this her whole life.
Speaker 1: A smile tugged at the corner of Lexi's mouth. This
Speaker 1: is a private production about the Crawl. It won't be censored.
Speaker 1: The more entertaining you are, the better it will play.
Speaker 1: Got it, Donut said, Hold up a second, what do
Speaker 1: you mean by private production? The main program, Dungeon Crawler
Speaker 1: World Earth is owned by the Syndicate government, and this
Speaker 1: season it is produced by the Borrent Corporation. This is
Speaker 1: not the first time that somebody has done this, and
Speaker 1: then this happens again later. I think Syndicate rules allow
Speaker 1: for private production companies to produce their own programs as
Speaker 1: long as they pay for the production themselves and pay
Speaker 1: an advertising stipend. This show will tunnel immediately after the
Speaker 1: main program. It is produced by the Titan Conglomerate, with
Speaker 1: production assistants by over a dozen participating independent systems. It
Speaker 1: is the largest most tunneled private program in existence. The
Speaker 1: host Odette is the most beloved interviewer and program host
Speaker 1: in the history of the galaxy, So try to make
Speaker 1: a good impression. This is so interesting. I am so like.
Speaker 1: First of all, the fact that they keep on the
Speaker 1: thing with the borrent corporation is really weird. We find
Speaker 1: out later that there's a whole thing with them maybe
Speaker 1: being bought out, going into bankruptcy. So I don't know
Speaker 1: if she was about to call them by the name
Speaker 1: of a different company. But the fact that it's like
Speaker 1: that she catches herself the way she does, I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's for their benefit. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's for the benefit of like maybe people watching them
Speaker 1: in that room. I don't know what that's about. And
Speaker 1: I love the fact that Doughnut has all of these
Speaker 1: extremely good questions before going out there. I wouldn't think
Speaker 1: to ask any of these. I would be absolutely ready
Speaker 1: to assess as I'm interviewed what the tone is and
Speaker 1: the vibe, and I would adjust fully in that moment.
Speaker 1: But asking a head I wouldn't even consider. And it's
Speaker 1: such a smart move, especially like the do you want
Speaker 1: us to be more technical? Because like, but the way
Speaker 1: the game is played, I could see that being appealing
Speaker 1: to some people, but I would assume it would have
Speaker 1: the tone that it winds up having. That's pretty much
Speaker 1: how I would go. And the whole like the fact
Speaker 1: that it winds up being hosted by somebody who had
Speaker 1: previously themselves been a crawler also never entered my mind.
Speaker 1: So I found that to be a really weird and
Speaker 1: fun idea that I can't There are still some questions
Speaker 1: for me around that, because was this part of a deal,
Speaker 1: like that is going to run out at some point
Speaker 1: or what? But anyway, he tells donut be careful, and
Speaker 1: she's like, of what and he says, they're not our friends.
Speaker 1: You have to remember that she won't eat the cat
Speaker 1: food because it's going to get all over her face,
Speaker 1: but she will have a treat, which we later find
Speaker 1: out it's essentially the same as throwing bag of shot.
Speaker 1: Like she it's something to just make her a little
Speaker 1: bit more lively on camera. And she says to Carl,
Speaker 1: out there with all the punching and the grunting and
Speaker 1: the disgusting exploding goblins, that is your world. This is mine.
Speaker 1: I know this might be difficult for you to understand,
Speaker 1: but I've been doing this my entire life. Every cat
Speaker 1: show I've ever done is an interview. I was bred
Speaker 1: for this. Let me do my thing. You didn't talk before,
Speaker 1: I said, and having to judge stick her finger up
Speaker 1: your ass is not the same thing as being interviewed
Speaker 1: for a television show. And she's like, first of all,
Speaker 1: nobody's ever done that, and second of all, you see
Speaker 1: how you're acting right now. That's why I'm saying that
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the talking, because you clearly aren't
Speaker 1: ready for this shit. I as much as she like,
Speaker 1: he's right that she didn't have to talk. Her charisma
Speaker 1: is twenty five. It was actually now she's been buffed,
Speaker 1: so it's like thirty. Let her do the talking. Bro,
Speaker 1: just shut up Twitter, What is the problem. So we
Speaker 1: go out there, the audience is going absolutely nuts, and
Speaker 1: he has a little trouble here with dealing with all
Speaker 1: of the weird creatures that he is seeing, and of
Speaker 1: course when he meets Odette it is extremely confusing. We
Speaker 1: end up finding out that all of these things are
Speaker 1: like parts of her armor that she had gathered when
Speaker 1: she was a crawler, and so she just wears them
Speaker 1: for the show because they're part of her brand now,
Speaker 1: but initially he is just like, what the fuck is she?
Speaker 1: Let's see, I'm trying to find. The lower body of
Speaker 1: the woman was entirely crab, black and red, with a
Speaker 1: lumpy shell and multiple kiteness legs. The shape and makeup
Speaker 1: of the shell was that of a king crab, but
Speaker 1: the size of a brown bear. Her body seemed to
Speaker 1: completely separate from the rest of her form. The legs
Speaker 1: crowded one another, unable to tuck themselves under the desk.
Speaker 1: The legs seemed to twitch of their own accord, malevolent,
Speaker 1: ready to strike. Her triangular bug heead was black with
Speaker 1: mirrored compound eyes the size of footballs. Twin antenna sprouted
Speaker 1: from her head with a span over at least six
Speaker 1: feet as wide as the crab body. But the oddest
Speaker 1: part of this woman was her torso. Her naked, ebony
Speaker 1: body from her stomach to her neck was that of
Speaker 1: a plus sized human model who had bribed a third
Speaker 1: world plastic surgeon into enhancing her breasts well beyond anything
Speaker 1: that could ever be considered natural or sexy or anything
Speaker 1: other than what the fuck. The colossal breasts sat atop
Speaker 1: the table like a pair of pigs. Suckling against their mother,
Speaker 1: her nipples faced downward, her areolas absurdly oversized. Even on
Speaker 1: the massive breasts, each the size of a Direct TV
Speaker 1: satellite dish, there was no conceivable way, even as big
Speaker 1: as she was, that her body could sustain those ginormous
Speaker 1: breasts without her back breaking like a twig. Jesus, no wonder,
Speaker 1: this show is so damn popular. I really loved that.
Speaker 2: That was his takeaway.
Speaker 1: As somebody who is plus size and has really big tits,
Speaker 1: I often wish that I could just pick them up
Speaker 1: and just PLoP them on my desk. Sometimes I have,
Speaker 1: but it's not super comfortable. So this is the correct
Speaker 1: way to deal with them. But like I said, as
Speaker 1: we find out, they are not hers anyway, so it's fine.
Speaker 1: So Odette welcomes them. Donah, the pleasures all ours. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to meet you. What a great looking audience.
Speaker 1: I'd much rather be here than there is. Everybody doing great?
Speaker 1: Are you enjoying the show? I love it? Donah is
Speaker 1: playing this crowd. This is the attitude to have. I
Speaker 1: we find out that the girl with the Rottweilers does
Speaker 1: not know how to play a crowd at all, and
Speaker 1: sometimes weirdly that can work for you, even though you
Speaker 1: wouldn't think so. But I could definitely see how some
Speaker 1: people would be like, she's not here to fucking like
Speaker 1: play around on camera. She's here to fucking win this thing.
Speaker 1: I am putting my bets on her. I can see that,
Speaker 1: But I also understand this. So Odette explains that we've
Speaker 1: been watching you, uh from the beginning. You might not
Speaker 1: be getting any love on the official program, but you
Speaker 1: two are quite the sensation. So the fact that they've
Speaker 1: been being watched from the start despite not being on
Speaker 1: the actual thing. I didn't know that was a thing
Speaker 1: that was happening, and I don't feel like that's been mentioned,
Speaker 1: And I think that's sort of important that people should
Speaker 1: have been able to know that. It bothers me that
Speaker 1: they're not informed on this, you know. So she asks
Speaker 1: if Donut is Earth Royalty, and she says, why, Yes,
Speaker 1: I am Earth has a ruling class the humans. It's
Speaker 1: all about the thumbs. But amongst cats, which is what
Speaker 1: I am. We have what's called an elective monarchy, but
Speaker 1: it's really just a beauty contest. My full name is
Speaker 1: gcbwr and W Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chunk, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't think of boring you guys with all my titles.
Speaker 1: GC stands for Grand Champion, and you've won the beauty contest.
Speaker 1: Donut flipped her tail, and I swear to God the
Speaker 1: cat fucking winked. She looked right into the middle of
Speaker 1: the crowd and asked, her voice seductive, what do you think?
Speaker 1: The crowd roared. I am living for it. I am
Speaker 1: living for it. This is exactly it. Thank you, Donut.
Speaker 1: I mean, what would you do without her, Carl, What
Speaker 1: would you do without her? I don't even want to know.
Speaker 1: Don't hurt the cat author That's all I'm saying. So, Carl,
Speaker 1: before you came on, I promised my audience I get
Speaker 1: you to say it.
Speaker 2: Say what you know.
Speaker 1: Your catchphrase. I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: He doesn't know what I'm talking about. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a hint now what I thought it
Speaker 1: was going to be, and I will tell you the truth.
Speaker 1: Damn it, Donut. And I was so close. I was
Speaker 1: so close. It's god, damn it Donut. I was so close.
Speaker 1: I like the alliteration of damn it Donut a little
Speaker 1: bit more, a little bit more, just a note for you, Carl,
Speaker 1: maybe going forward to alliterate and maybe that might help.
Speaker 1: But I love this this, especially again with the narrator
Speaker 1: and the way his voice is like a little different
Speaker 1: from the narration, so it definitely sounds like you're taking
Speaker 1: a clip from something else. It's just so well done.
Speaker 1: The scenes kept changing over and over, each time, ending
Speaker 1: with me saying the same thing. I'd said it at
Speaker 1: least fifteen times, I sighed inwardly, doing my best not
Speaker 1: to let my dismay show.
Speaker 2: God, damn it, donut, I said.
Speaker 1: Boisterous cheers followed. Why was he dismayed? Is it just
Speaker 1: being that predictable? Maybe? Is that all it is? I
Speaker 1: will tell you the truth, Carl, this is a dream
Speaker 1: just speaking. You know, as somebody who knows building a
Speaker 1: brand is hard. You did it by accident and it's
Speaker 1: a distinctive one. And the fact that he fights it later,
Speaker 1: I get it, and I do think probably it will
Speaker 1: help your brand that you're fighting it. But I also
Speaker 1: don't don't stop though, you know, like you're so you're
Speaker 1: the curmudgeon, right, She's the sunshiny one and you're the curmudgeon.
Speaker 1: Fight it, but go with it. Also, do you get
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You've got to find that balance here,
Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. And I the whole like just again,
Speaker 1: the fact that they were filming all of that. We
Speaker 1: were told like, none of this is being seen by anybody,
Speaker 1: and I really just took that at face value and
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, we're just getting things set up. Then
Speaker 1: we find out that they've got like all of these moments,
Speaker 1: and honestly, as much as like I should be angry
Speaker 1: that we're being forced into a game for our lives,
Speaker 1: I know, I was just more like, well, fucking tell
Speaker 1: us this though, guys, because that's important to know. I
Speaker 1: would definitely be playing it differently on the first level
Speaker 1: if I didn't know, then if I did, and I
Speaker 1: don't know that would change the outcome of like the
Speaker 1: fights and stuff, but potentially, who knows. I just think
Speaker 1: that I would be irritated to find out that this
Speaker 1: was all being filmed and seen after being explicitly told
Speaker 1: it wasn't. So we have all of the uh the
Speaker 1: like little moments with the fights and Odette asking Donut,
Speaker 1: like why didn't you fight him? You're a lot stronger
Speaker 1: than him. They look at her stats. If he was
Speaker 1: in real trouble, I would have certainly helped, like I
Speaker 1: did with that Juicy boss.
Speaker 2: We faced what was his name?
Speaker 3: Juicy juiced the juice.
Speaker 1: Now that was a fight, wasn't it. And later on,
Speaker 1: like nice touch with pretending that you forgot his name,
Speaker 1: they showed Donna asking if there was a reward for
Speaker 1: worst dressed, and it showed me standing there looking pitiful
Speaker 1: in my kneepads. The words worst dressed appeared floating over me.
Speaker 1: I pretended to laugh. Ah, this is so tough, because
Speaker 1: you guys, I am here with all of you on
Speaker 1: a stage, so to speak, giving you my reactions. I
Speaker 1: am clearly a performer. That's what I do. It's how
Speaker 1: I am all the time. It's so much a part
Speaker 1: of me that I have had a therapist ask me,
Speaker 1: who are you when nobody is looking? And I literally
Speaker 1: glitched out and just sat and stared into space for
Speaker 1: a moment because I didn't know how to answer that,
Speaker 1: because it feels like there's always somebody looking, even if
Speaker 1: they're not. It just feels like that to me all
Speaker 1: the time. I feel observed. It's a very like Truman
Speaker 1: Show kind of feeling sometimes and I just live like
Speaker 1: that all the time and it doesn't bother me really.
Speaker 1: It's like just the way I am. But you know,
Speaker 1: like there was a time where I was I can't
Speaker 1: remember who who it wound up being, but they came
Speaker 1: up on me and I was with Pippen and I
Speaker 1: was playing with him and talking to him, and they
Speaker 1: like assumed that I had known they were there because
Speaker 1: I was talking and joking with Pippen, like I knew
Speaker 1: they were watching, and I was trying to be funny
Speaker 1: for them. I didn't know they were there. I just
Speaker 1: do that what I do on camera. This is how
Speaker 1: I am all the time, just just an FYI like,
Speaker 1: it's not I'm not like I turn it more on
Speaker 1: for the camera, of course, but it's this isn't an
Speaker 1: act really, So it's really difficult for me to understand
Speaker 1: sometimes when people aren't like this and don't enjoy that
Speaker 1: kind of like people know you and know what you
Speaker 1: like and who you are and things you've been through.
Speaker 1: Like I am an oversharer because I want you guys
Speaker 1: to have the context of other things that have happened
Speaker 1: in my life to inform why I react the way
Speaker 1: I do to certain things. So I just tell you,
Speaker 1: guys whatever, Like there's very little that I hide. I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I had anything. And the way that
Speaker 1: he is here, like having to force a laugh, feeling
Speaker 1: dismayed about all of this. This reaction that he is
Speaker 1: having is a lot more logical, honestly, than my reaction
Speaker 1: would be than donuts reaction is he is responding to
Speaker 1: having been put in a life or to a situation
Speaker 1: by fucking aliens who killed ninety percent of the planet's population.
Speaker 1: And he he hates this. He hates this, and that
Speaker 1: makes fucking sense. That just does. And yet I'm over
Speaker 1: here like, ugh, Carl, what's your problem? Turn it on, buddy?
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: I am one thousand percent over here, like Donut, Like,
Speaker 1: can you stop being so surly?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: What is your fucking damage?
Speaker 3: Dude?
Speaker 1: His damage might be that there's only like two million
Speaker 1: human beings left and that he has been forced to
Speaker 1: kill probably other humans who were like genetically altered, or
Speaker 1: something might be related to that.
Speaker 2: Natasha.
Speaker 1: Perhaps I don't know, just a guess, but like, I
Speaker 1: am literally irritated with him in this scene because I
Speaker 1: am so much like donut, and I am like, she
Speaker 1: is fucking killing it and you are doing nothing. You
Speaker 1: are bringing nothing, you are giving nothing, you know, And
Speaker 1: I have to sort of turn it and be like,
Speaker 1: that's his role. That's what it's gonna be. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be the duo where one of them is giving hard
Speaker 1: and the other one is resisting it every step of
Speaker 1: the way. But I just hate knowing how miserable he
Speaker 1: is because if it's a duo that's doing that on purpose,
Speaker 1: where we're having a sort of like pen and teller thing,
Speaker 1: that's one thing, but that's not on purpose. That's just
Speaker 1: who he is because he is miserable, and he has
Speaker 1: every right to be miserable. He really like, you know.
Speaker 1: But it makes me sad because he is right about
Speaker 1: the dangers of this a thousand percent. It's just it
Speaker 1: could be it could be something. He is getting such
Speaker 1: an opportunity here, and I want him to figure out
Speaker 1: how to play it, you know. So anyway, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: there are so many comments. I'm sorry, guys, I didn't
Speaker 1: even see this. Let me scroll up a little bit.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Michael says, really, television executives don't know either.
Speaker 1: That's why they throw so much shit at the wall
Speaker 1: hoping something sticks. I think in response to me talking
Speaker 1: about the old people and what they're gonna do. I
Speaker 1: love how media savvy Dona is that Kat watched way
Speaker 1: too much TV. That's a good point. I was just
Speaker 1: thinking about her beauty pageant circuit. But her being like
Speaker 1: in front of the TV all the time is another thing.
Speaker 1: That's a really good point. You called the budget issues
Speaker 1: so early on. I was impressed. I feel like, doesn't
Speaker 1: somebody hint that though? Does that mean I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I just pulled that out? Did I? I don't know. Oh,
Speaker 1: Rob says same, So if you both were impressed, then
Speaker 1: maybe maybe I just pulled it out.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I thought of the drug more like ADHD medication. It
Speaker 1: focused Dona. Oh, that is so interesting. If they could
Speaker 1: do that for me real quick. Once again, when I
Speaker 1: first read the series, they say your catchphrase, Carl hit
Speaker 1: me so hard because it recontextualizes everything that came before,
Speaker 1: where it's just trying to survive, and suddenly everything you've
Speaker 1: done is being critiqued and enjoyed, like it's not your
Speaker 1: life on the line. This is rot By the way, guys, sorry,
Speaker 1: and everything thereafter has to be done with the whole
Speaker 1: I can't do anything without being spectated, and it becomes
Speaker 1: a meme. And if that isn't just a load to
Speaker 1: bear on top of oh yeah, the monsters are trying
Speaker 1: to kill you. And then the third layer of I
Speaker 1: am doing the same thing to Carl and this is
Speaker 1: tiny little fourth wall break two parasocial relationships are weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I am. This is I mean, this is exactly the
Speaker 1: thing that The Hunger Games is doing as well. And
Speaker 1: it's like, obviously, like I've said before, it's set up
Speaker 1: very differently. But Catnus is like Carl, where she just
Speaker 1: doesn't want anything to do with this. She thinks it's
Speaker 1: really sick. It almost feels like with Donut that she
Speaker 1: doesn't even really understand the genuine consequences of things yet,
Speaker 1: you know, because like she keeps talking about her owner
Speaker 1: like she's still alive, Beatrice. And so I think that's
Speaker 1: part of why Donna isn't as irritating as she could
Speaker 1: be too, is because it feels like she's childlike in
Speaker 1: a way where she doesn't totally get it, and the
Speaker 1: fact that everybody would be spectating like and that's part
Speaker 1: of me wanting to know if you were being observed
Speaker 1: in the first place. Like I feel like in some
Speaker 1: ways I do function better when I am being observed,
Speaker 1: So knowing that I feel like with that help. But yeah,
Speaker 1: the whole like recontextualizes everything that came before. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: part of why the author did it. Maybe he knew
Speaker 1: we would feel different if we found out that it
Speaker 1: was being filmed after all, and it would change the
Speaker 1: you know, like I could see that as a storytelling
Speaker 1: device because it does. So what's next for you to do?
Speaker 1: You intend on staying with Team metal Lark. I don't
Speaker 1: remember where metal Lark? Is that the name of the
Speaker 1: old Folks Home. That's the plan for now, Donut said,
Speaker 1: it depends on what we find on the next floor.
Speaker 1: But I want to tell you something, Odette, She stood
Speaker 1: on the chair facing the audience. I promise all of you,
Speaker 1: you guys are going to want to follow me in Carl,
Speaker 1: You're going to want to favored us because whatever it
Speaker 1: is we face, we're not just going to kill them.
Speaker 1: We are going to kill them big. We are going
Speaker 1: to kill them with style. Thirty seconds later, the audience
Speaker 1: was still screaming. Odette had to shout over her own crowd,
Speaker 1: we are out of time, but thank you so much
Speaker 1: Carl and her Royal majesty Princess Donut. Good luck to
Speaker 1: you too, I'll see you all next time. And Donut
Speaker 1: is literally mesmerized by the adoration of the crowd and
Speaker 1: has not come back down to earth. So when Carl
Speaker 1: tries to talk to her, she's like not hearing him.
Speaker 1: I suddenly had a feeling of dread. That look, that hunger.
Speaker 1: That was dangerous. She'd had but a single taste, but
Speaker 1: I could already tell she was addicted to this. To
Speaker 1: the crowd, to the cheers, it was going to be
Speaker 1: a problem. God damn it, Donut, I muttered, yeah, this
Speaker 1: is uh again, as somebody who is also like really
Speaker 1: probably like, look, I'm gonna say all of this with
Speaker 1: a grain of salt. Obviously, I don't have the same
Speaker 1: type of issues with constantly performing that some people do.
Speaker 1: In like, and what I'm saying is there are people
Speaker 1: out there who film almost every moment of their lives.
Speaker 1: They are influencers who they can't like, do their hair
Speaker 1: in the morning without taking video of it. They can't
Speaker 1: make themselves a coffee. They can't have a thought that
Speaker 1: they don't record and put out there. And while I
Speaker 1: get that impulse, I.
Speaker 2: Am not like that.
Speaker 1: I do feel that way, like I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: being watched, but I am not putting myself out there
Speaker 1: on TikTok with like everything I'm doing all day, I
Speaker 1: save it for the show. So in some ways, I
Speaker 1: think that's also like a generational thing, where being able
Speaker 1: to film yourself doing things is a recent development because
Speaker 1: of technology being so much more accessible. But I do
Speaker 1: wonder sometimes if with the personality that I have, if
Speaker 1: I were born ten or fifteen years later, what would
Speaker 1: I be like now? And I have to assume I'd
Speaker 1: be like an influencer of some kind, because I would
Speaker 1: have leaned so hard into that right away. And I
Speaker 1: do think there is a hazard with that. We see
Speaker 1: this all the time with influencers who it turns out
Speaker 1: their life was a fucking lie. You know, you'll have
Speaker 1: people who like you can just rent the time to
Speaker 1: stand in front of a private jet and get your
Speaker 1: photo taken, and then they will go on social media
Speaker 1: and act like it was their jet. Or you would
Speaker 1: have people who have this like advice sort of style
Speaker 1: where they're telling people like how to raise their family
Speaker 1: or how to be a good wife, and then you
Speaker 1: find out that the two of them have been living
Speaker 1: in separate bedrooms and their kids hate them. You know,
Speaker 1: all these sorts of things like it's it's It can
Speaker 1: be really gross, the way that people like twist themselves
Speaker 1: to be something that they aren't for the gratification and
Speaker 1: the the what's the word I want admiration? What is
Speaker 1: it called? When you're looking for validation? That's the word
Speaker 1: of other people? And I really hope that isn't like
Speaker 1: some like, it's one thing to like to perform because
Speaker 1: you want to be liked and entertaining, and it's another
Speaker 1: thing to feel like if you don't get that, you're
Speaker 1: not whole. And I have struggled with that myself, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm finally now that I'm forty, I'm
Speaker 1: getting past it and starting to understand that's just nothing.
Speaker 1: You know, those that sort of validation from strangers. It
Speaker 1: feels like in the moment, it's like junk food where
Speaker 1: you taste a cheeto and you're like, that is fucking delicious,
Speaker 1: Give me more of that. But you finish the whole bag,
Speaker 1: and you feel kind of sick, and you're also still hungry.
Speaker 1: It's junk food, but you have a bad palate because
Speaker 1: you're not old enough to be able to tell. So
Speaker 1: in the moment, you can't really tell a difference between
Speaker 1: the validation from people that you actually care about versus
Speaker 1: the validation of strangers. And I really want to see
Speaker 1: how this progresses for Dona and the way that because
Speaker 1: she's gonna have to grow. Michael says, I don't see
Speaker 1: how your life can't be unaffected when you start monetizing it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean there's no way. I it's just when your
Speaker 1: brand is about your life, that's a really dangerous thing.
Speaker 1: My brand is about how I feel about media, and
Speaker 1: that is something that is outside of my life. And
Speaker 1: so I can continue doing this no matter what happens
Speaker 1: to me in my life, and that will inform my
Speaker 1: reaction to things, but it doesn't change what I am
Speaker 1: giving my audience. Whereas if what you're giving is videos
Speaker 1: of you and your handsome husband and your beautiful children
Speaker 1: in your gorgeous home, and then something happens where that's
Speaker 1: you don't have any of that anymore, Well, fucking now,
Speaker 1: what you know, like you either have to pretend or
Speaker 1: you have to try and build a whole new brand
Speaker 1: and adjust and keep people interested, which is not easy.
Speaker 1: And that's the part that I think I find it
Speaker 1: to be doing work where you depend on other people
Speaker 1: for your income. It's really really tricky. Everybody to a
Speaker 1: degree depends on other people for their income.
Speaker 2: Let's be real, But.
Speaker 1: You know, when you're at the whim of an audience,
Speaker 1: it's a specific thing. And the circumstances of my life
Speaker 1: have never been the kind of stable where I would
Speaker 1: try doing that sort of branding anyway. You know, I
Speaker 1: live in a lower middle class home with old fixtures,
Speaker 1: a busted, ugly kitchen, and we have, you know, a
Speaker 1: many years old car with lots of marks on it,
Speaker 1: and a yard that hasn't been landscaped. There is nothing
Speaker 1: in this that I could like make a lifestyle I'll
Speaker 1: brand out of. So I never even attempted because I
Speaker 1: just don't have that surrounding me. And maybe if I did,
Speaker 1: I would, maybe if I'd grown up stable and having
Speaker 1: that kind of security always, it would feel way safer
Speaker 1: for me to do that, and I wouldn't think about
Speaker 1: But what happens if it goes away, because it had
Speaker 1: never happened to me before. But I grew up the
Speaker 1: way I grew up, and I live how I live,
Speaker 1: and so for me, I've just known that's not the
Speaker 1: way to go, because that shit can be gone any time.
Speaker 1: And maybe that's it. I don't know. I don't. Odette
Speaker 1: touches on it too. Once your brand is established or
Speaker 1: stuck with it, yes, I want to jump to her.
Speaker 1: And Rob says, unless you pick Changeling for your race
Speaker 1: on the third floor, which would be fun. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: would be very tempted by that because being able to
Speaker 1: change my appearance is something that I would love, like
Speaker 1: just being able to one day have like butt length,
Speaker 1: long blonde hair and then the next day have like
Speaker 1: a purple pixie cut. I just love the idea of
Speaker 1: just like my whole look is completely at the whim
Speaker 1: of my mood. I enjoy it. Michael says, you touched
Speaker 1: on it earlier when you talked about algorithms too. Once
Speaker 1: you get noticed, you have to stick with that or
Speaker 1: you might lose your audience exactly. And it's clearly like
Speaker 1: it's not as if that's impossible to do, but it
Speaker 1: is a really difficult thing to do when you aren't
Speaker 1: successful enough to kind of be outside of that and
Speaker 1: earning money in other ways. Once you get to be
Speaker 1: a certain level of income, that money starts to earn
Speaker 1: money if you invest it, so you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry as much. But then there's people who, like, they
Speaker 1: get wealthy, but they still can't satisfy that validation need,
Speaker 1: and so they stay in the public eye despite not
Speaker 1: having to. And then you get things like John Cleese,
Speaker 1: who had been great and now he's out here talking
Speaker 1: cash shit and being a turf because he can't just
Speaker 1: shut the fucking shut the fuck up and go be rich.
Speaker 1: He has to still be in the public eye, and
Speaker 1: he's like just sort of shit all over his own
Speaker 1: legacy in a way. Anyway, So chapter twenty nine, I
Speaker 1: am so behind you, guys, Oh my god, Oh my god. Okay,
Speaker 1: we have the like kind of convening with Odette afterward,
Speaker 1: and she asks plexus ping me if one of those
Speaker 1: Ai sticks to nose in here, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to our guests for a minute without anybody snooping. And
Speaker 1: this is when she starts to take everything off. She's
Speaker 1: a human woman, approximately sixty years old. Her eyes were
Speaker 1: just a little wide for her face, just a little
Speaker 1: wide for her face to pass as someone from Earth.
Speaker 1: A moment later, the woman's crab body skittered back, and
Speaker 1: the chest with the enormous breast remained attached to the desk.
Speaker 1: Her whole torso peeled away, revealing a dark shirt. She
Speaker 1: wore a necklace with a heart on it. If it
Speaker 1: weren't for the crab body in the eyes, she'd look
Speaker 1: like any other human, she said. When he says, wait,
Speaker 1: the body, is that fake too, she says, everything you
Speaker 1: see is fake.
Speaker 2: This is show business.
Speaker 1: She pulled herself from the crab body using her two arms,
Speaker 1: and later on we find out that she lost her
Speaker 1: legs during a fight, and she pushed so far that
Speaker 1: they gave that. The AI gave her legs to keep
Speaker 1: her story going, which is remarkable. And her legs, the
Speaker 1: crab legs, really shouldn't have been in a box that
Speaker 1: low level. The entire get up was my armor when
Speaker 1: I was like you. It was what I was wearing
Speaker 1: when I reached the stairwell for the thirteenth floor. It's
Speaker 1: how people know me. How was that boob thing armor?
Speaker 1: Young man?
Speaker 2: This year?
Speaker 1: You have now, It's nothing compared to what's coming. Mordecai said,
Speaker 1: only one person ever made it to the thirteenth floor,
Speaker 1: and it was a dude who died. That's true. I
Speaker 1: never went down the stairs. I had struck a deal.
Speaker 1: That's a long story and not for today. But I'm
Speaker 1: glad you brought up Mordecai. That's all I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about. This is his last crawl. I'd
Speaker 1: like for you to tell him to seek me out
Speaker 1: when this is all over. And she says, I was
Speaker 1: his trainer. It's how I found you. I keep an
Speaker 1: eye on him, and I watched you guys as you
Speaker 1: stumbled into his guild room. I'm going to give you
Speaker 1: some advice. And we find out a little bit later
Speaker 1: that Mordecai isn't going to be able to like actually
Speaker 1: get free of the deal he made unless they at
Speaker 1: least reached the fourth floor. But he has never mentioned
Speaker 1: that to them, which I find really admirable. You could
Speaker 1: try and like guilt your people, and he doesn't even
Speaker 1: attempt to do that because he knows they've got fucking
Speaker 1: enough on their plates already, you know. And this is
Speaker 1: when she brings up the mud Skippers won't like it,
Speaker 1: which is what the other girl had started to say
Speaker 1: and stopped herself. Mud Skippers, you mean, I pause, looking
Speaker 1: at the ceiling. They can't hear you in here, But
Speaker 1: don't say that phrase. In the Dungeon mud Skipper, they
Speaker 1: attempted to get it listed as hate speech by the
Speaker 1: syndicate a couple cycles back. Hardly anyone called them that
Speaker 1: until they made a big deal about it. But yes,
Speaker 1: that's what I mean. The Cuatin Borent. Nobody likes the Kuatine,
Speaker 1: at least not their system of government. Borent is a
Speaker 1: different story. Some of those folks are okay. All they
Speaker 1: wanted to put on a good show. I'm sure they
Speaker 1: were incensed when they were forced into this early release.
Speaker 1: You're going to step onto that second floor and in
Speaker 1: a day or so you're gonna find your social numbers
Speaker 1: have gone meteoric. Those people are following you, Carl and Donut.
Speaker 1: So when you go down to the third floor, you
Speaker 1: need to stay as a cute, cuddly cat. They'll tempt
Speaker 1: you with some very powerful creature races. Going viral early
Speaker 1: is both a blessing and a curse. People are in
Speaker 1: love with donut the cat, not donut, the saber tooth,
Speaker 1: void leopard. Don't change your race whatever you do. I've
Speaker 1: seen it happen dozens of times. They change and their
Speaker 1: numbers plummet. It's why nobody sponsors a crawler earlier than
Speaker 1: the fourth floor.
Speaker 2: And you.
Speaker 1: People are used to seeing humans, so it's not as
Speaker 1: crucial for you to stay the same as long as
Speaker 1: it's not too different. If she stays that tiny little thing,
Speaker 1: she's going to need to be protected. Mordecai will be
Speaker 1: the one to lead you through the process of picking
Speaker 1: a race in class. There'll be a lot of information.
Speaker 1: He won't be allowed to steer you, at least not overtly.
Speaker 1: But if I taught him anything, it's how to help
Speaker 1: you decide for yourself. I don't know what's going to
Speaker 1: be on the table. It's different every season. And for
Speaker 1: his clues, he knows what he's doing. He's going to
Speaker 1: do his best to guide you. Also, if you want pants,
Speaker 1: you should stop bitching about not having them. So it's
Speaker 1: like I suspected, I said, the loot boxes aren't really random.
Speaker 1: Of course, not, said Odette. It's even written into the rules.
Speaker 1: Look at me, I lost my legs to a fiend
Speaker 1: Scythe on the eleventh floor. I was all but dead.
Speaker 1: I dragged myself to a safe room, opened my boxes,
Speaker 1: and received this in a gold box. This is a
Speaker 1: legendary item. It allows me to attach body parts.
Speaker 2: Of other monsters to myself.
Speaker 1: I had to drag myself back out there and kill
Speaker 1: that crab first, but I took its body as my
Speaker 1: legs and I continued on my way. That is remarkable.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, guys, there's moments like this where
Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, some people just really want to live
Speaker 1: a lot more than I give a shit about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, you cut my legs off, I'm pretty much done.
Speaker 1: I think I just feel like that's a that's a
Speaker 1: fucking rap, you know what I'm saying. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I uh, maybe I'm lying. You know.
Speaker 1: There are times where I think I would do this,
Speaker 1: and then the time comes and that doesn't even occur
Speaker 1: to me to do so. I might being a little
Speaker 1: but I mean, you know, God damn, and let's see.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is a game. There are controls in place
Speaker 1: to make it fair sort of. But more importantly, this
Speaker 1: is a for profit venture in the entertainment industry, and
Speaker 1: if you staying alive means more profits, you'll find your
Speaker 1: loot to be a lot more convenient. But if the
Speaker 1: AI senses screwing you over will make the show more interesting,
Speaker 1: you'd better believe it'll fuck you right in the ass
Speaker 1: at the worst possible moment. Don't ever forget that you
Speaker 1: can't count on anybody but yourselves. So no more complaining,
Speaker 1: I said, at least not out loud. Not when it's
Speaker 1: funny for you to not have pants, She turned to Dona.
Speaker 1: Or when someone hisses every time they get another torch
Speaker 1: in one of their boxes. I didn't even think of that,
Speaker 1: But that is very funny, actually, and that is exactly
Speaker 1: what happens, right, certain things that crop up in a
Speaker 1: show where you're like reality shows. I could see this
Speaker 1: being more of a thing, but I don't watch that
Speaker 1: many've The Circle is really the reality show that I've
Speaker 1: watched the most consistently, and ever since it moved to
Speaker 1: the US, it's been kind of trash. One last piece
Speaker 1: of advice, never trust someone unless you know what they're
Speaker 1: getting out of it. And this is when she mentions
Speaker 1: that Mordecai won't get out unless they make it to
Speaker 1: the fourth floor. He'll be stuck until the next Boring
Speaker 1: sponsored season, which will be at least another seven or
Speaker 1: eight seasons, and with the political environment as it is,
Speaker 1: a lot of people aren't certain Boring will be around
Speaker 1: that long. All indentureship contracts get frozen during a bankruptcy
Speaker 1: seizure action? What who's seizing them? What does that mean?
Speaker 1: This is something that I also really like in terms
Speaker 1: of how I have talked about clearly this author is
Speaker 1: like drawing parallels to just what it's like living in
Speaker 1: a hyper capitalist society and we're at the fucking whims
Speaker 1: of people so far above us that we can't even
Speaker 1: see them, touch them, hear them. But the contracts get frozen,
Speaker 1: You're just like stuck because these assholes that you don't
Speaker 1: have anything to do with can't make a fucking deal.
Speaker 1: Like it's so gross, you guys, This is I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like there has ever been a time
Speaker 1: where it's been as apparent how at the whim we
Speaker 1: are of the people in charge. Then are year twenty
Speaker 1: twenty five with fucking Elon Musk out here doing god
Speaker 1: knows what and tons of government employees being laid off
Speaker 1: and fired, and these folks had there was no clue
Speaker 1: that this was coming, and they are completely taken off guard.
Speaker 1: And these are folks that had like moved to get
Speaker 1: to certain jobs. Or I had a friend who she
Speaker 1: works three hours away from where her office is, and
Speaker 1: she was working remotely, and they made it so that
Speaker 1: if she doesn't come in every day, she's not gonna
Speaker 1: get to keep her job. Well, she's like three hours away,
Speaker 1: you know, like, what do you mean, how can you
Speaker 1: just do that? Because they can do whatever the fuck
Speaker 1: they feel like. That's the long and short of it.
Speaker 1: So anyway, let's see. Oh yeah, yeah, the moment whatever
Speaker 1: you guys did to her is wearing off. She didn't
Speaker 1: even deny it. She was watching the cat pounce around
Speaker 1: the end of the room. Oh this is when she says,
Speaker 1: in many ways, she's still a child. It's part of
Speaker 1: the reason why so many are enchanted with her. It
Speaker 1: works well in the dungeon, but for interviews sometimes they
Speaker 1: need a little nudge. It was temporary, increased her wisdom
Speaker 1: and a few confident stats by a point and a half,
Speaker 1: not much. It makes for a better interview, and when
Speaker 1: he mentions like wisdom isn't a stat anymore. She's like,
Speaker 1: just because they aren't there, it doesn't mean it's not real.
Speaker 1: And then he asks her what her motivations are, and
Speaker 1: she says, the longer you stay alive, the more money
Speaker 1: I make. And there is nothing I love in this
Speaker 1: universe more than money. Now get back in there and
Speaker 1: try not to die. I think she's probably telling the truth,
Speaker 1: but I don't know why. I kind of don't believe her. Normally,
Speaker 1: when somebody is just like, it's about the money, baby,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it makes sense. I don't know, though,
Speaker 1: I don't know Odette, maybe maybe maybe h Anyway, Okay,
Speaker 1: I have one more chapter No. Two more to cover.
Speaker 2: Oh that's not happening. Well, I'm gonna do my best.
Speaker 1: So on chapter thirty, Donah is already looking to see
Speaker 1: if she has followers, but that thing hasn't been aired yet,
Speaker 1: so of course not. And she says, how are we
Speaker 1: supposed to set the intergalactic Internet on fire when the
Speaker 1: second floor is the same as the first floor, which
Speaker 1: we find out very shortly that it is not level two?
Speaker 1: Brindle grub, I won't read the whole thing, but Brindle
Speaker 1: grubs are all the rage. The more monsters you kill,
Speaker 1: the more the grubs eat. The more the grubs eat,
Speaker 1: the bigger they get. Once you start finding them in
Speaker 1: the pupa stage, you best move on. Grubs are easy
Speaker 1: to kill. They're old siblings are not. And once again
Speaker 1: this reminded me of Starry Valley. There are grubs and
Speaker 1: then they go into a people stage and you can't
Speaker 1: kill them. You can slam your weapon against them, but
Speaker 1: it just does this like weird clicking banging sound and
Speaker 1: nothing happens, and then it hatches and they become a
Speaker 1: flying thing which you can kill, but they are much
Speaker 1: higher level and you have to so like basically, if
Speaker 1: you hit them twice with your weapon in quick succession,
Speaker 1: you'll kill him in the grub stage. But sometimes if
Speaker 1: you try and kill them and there's too much time
Speaker 1: between swings, it will go into its people stage in
Speaker 1: the midst of your attack because you like took too long.
Speaker 1: So I'm kind of wondering if it's like based on
Speaker 1: this or if it's just a coincidence or what. So
Speaker 1: he kills this thing, and she, like Dona, is able
Speaker 1: to see a lot of them coming before Karl is
Speaker 1: so she has this stability at least to like help
Speaker 1: give him heads up. If the bugs are like the rest,
Speaker 1: then we haven't yet met the mobs of this quadrant.
Speaker 1: I took my foot and smashed down on the remains
Speaker 1: of the corpse that Agatha had killed. I smashed and crushed,
Speaker 1: smearing the innerds all over the place that until the
Speaker 1: ex disappeared on the map. Carl, are you quite home right?
Speaker 1: Did you read the description of the grubs. We can't
Speaker 1: leave corpses lying around, even their own corpses, not in
Speaker 1: this part of the dungeon. From now on, we do
Speaker 1: our best to leave as little behind as possible. And
Speaker 1: she says people aren't gonna like watching that, and he says,
Speaker 1: people aren't gonna like watching you get eaten by whatever
Speaker 1: these fucking things turn out to be. And let's see
Speaker 1: she oh right. This is when she starts jumping up
Speaker 1: and down eagerly, and her bell starts to ring, which
Speaker 1: means that some creatures that are down further turn around
Speaker 1: and see them and come at them dangered Dingo level five,
Speaker 1: and she shoots her eye missiles at them. She used
Speaker 1: twenty four of her twenty six manna points in seconds.
Speaker 1: One of them also dropped something we'd hadn't seen yet,
Speaker 1: a pair of gold coins. Doughnut snatched them away before
Speaker 1: I could examine the money's properties. I was like wondering
Speaker 1: if it was her wanting them, like because she was
Speaker 1: being greedy, or if it was just that she loots
Speaker 1: things without looking at them. And I kind of think
Speaker 1: it's that second one. I must admit I did get
Speaker 1: a little carried away there. She kicked it in the head,
Speaker 1: exploded against the wall. And even though she's like stronger
Speaker 1: than him. Also, things get more fragile after they die,
Speaker 1: so it's easier to sort of smash things. Let's back
Speaker 1: out of this area for now. As we approached the
Speaker 1: main hallway, I didn't see any further signs of the
Speaker 1: Dingo mobs, but we did find a couple more dead
Speaker 1: grubs and plenty more living ones. The things were everywhere
Speaker 1: and we had to kill them by the dozens. And
Speaker 1: they find a safe room. They also come across these
Speaker 1: mind horrors jellyfish that give him a terrible headache but
Speaker 1: apparently don't really affect Donut. The room, unfortunately, wasn't one
Speaker 1: of the restaurants with a Bopka protector, though the chamber
Speaker 1: itself was much bigger than any of the other safe rooms.
Speaker 1: There are showers and sinks and bathrooms and a mailbox
Speaker 1: and he goes and tries to open it and just
Speaker 1: gets an error message why would anyone send you mail?
Speaker 1: But I have to think that this becomes something later.
Speaker 1: I am curious about it, wondering if there's a way
Speaker 1: to communicate between floors, or a way to leave things
Speaker 1: for other party members, or I don't even know. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's where you get your goodies once you get sponsors
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: So this is when he gets his achievements. A bully
Speaker 1: and a thief for stealing stuff from Agatha Battlefield construction.
Speaker 1: You built a structure and deployed it in battle. You've
Speaker 1: received a silver mechanics box, and then we get another
Speaker 1: foot fetish one.
Speaker 2: You are making Daddy very very happy.
Speaker 1: But he is most certainly sounding like he's jerking off.
Speaker 1: You've received a platinum shoe box. You have found a
Speaker 1: stairwell down to the next floor. They say the cream
Speaker 1: rises to the top, So what does that say about you?
Speaker 1: I moved to the loop boxes. So he uh gets
Speaker 1: a ticket to for a free drink in quotes at
Speaker 1: the Desperado Club. No further explanation with silver Mechanics spots.
Speaker 1: The Guinator three thousand, a shaping tool may only be
Speaker 1: used at a workbench. Assists in shaping materials into something
Speaker 1: else and cheat code potion. This will expire shortly after
Speaker 1: generated causes one recently used combat or magic theme skill
Speaker 1: to increase by three. Choice is random and permanent, and
Speaker 1: he gets an up to pugilism, which is great, and
Speaker 1: he's just sort of thinking about how most of the
Speaker 1: skills that he has for fighting are about being unarmed,
Speaker 1: and so that is definitely going to be you know,
Speaker 1: like getting shoes now probably not a great idea. Like
Speaker 1: there's just he's he's stuck. He's stuck with whatever it
Speaker 1: is that he started with, and he's looking at the
Speaker 1: girl Lucia Marr, who is like running on walls and stuff.
Speaker 1: The crossbow woman was crazy strong, twice as powerful as me.
Speaker 1: I watched in awe as she picked up a bare
Speaker 1: size slabbering tentacle monster and threw it into the air,
Speaker 1: shooting it twice with her repeating crossbow before it exploded,
Speaker 1: which is amazing. And one last item enchanted pedicure.
Speaker 2: Of the Sylph.
Speaker 1: All of these enhancements require you to remain barefoot.
Speaker 2: Why because you know why?
Speaker 1: I did think that was kind of a funny line,
Speaker 1: and it comes with some nice perks he won't be
Speaker 1: able to like. It'll protect him. Plus fifteen percent to
Speaker 1: barefoot attacks, plus three to smush skill, unbreakable buff feet
Speaker 1: only for thirty hours, Celestial nimble and tidy buff for
Speaker 1: thirty hours. Not only will your tootsies look nice, bright
Speaker 1: and shiny, but any trap set off by footfalls will
Speaker 1: now prompt and alarm and have us five second delay
Speaker 1: before being triggered, which is really quite an advantage.
Speaker 2: That last one.
Speaker 1: And he has to put a lot of stuff away
Speaker 1: because he doesn't know like how to use them yet.
Speaker 1: He doesn't get one of those benches until I think
Speaker 1: the fourth floor, he says, And let's see. Uh oh right, oh,
Speaker 1: what an awful spell. We need to save these things
Speaker 1: instead of wasting them? Is what does it do? Second
Speaker 1: chance cost ten MANA I can raise a monster from
Speaker 1: the dead, it has to be a lower level than me.
Speaker 1: They'll fight for us for as many minutes as the
Speaker 1: spells level. The level is one, so it'll only last
Speaker 1: for a minute. And he's like, that's incredible, and she says, what, no,
Speaker 1: it's gross. They're dead. I don't want them moving around.
Speaker 1: And he's like, you could bring that fucking like those
Speaker 1: creatures that we just killed, the cocker spaniels back to
Speaker 1: life and be like that chick with the two Rotwhilers,
Speaker 1: but they'll be undead rot Wilers, and Dona immediately gets
Speaker 1: on board with this. Also, she mentions how she doesn't
Speaker 1: like groaning, and he remembers her swatting at him while
Speaker 1: he was fucking his girlfriend one time, which is very,
Speaker 1: very funny. And let's see, I'm trying to see the
Speaker 1: Brandon and his crew were still bringing people into the
Speaker 1: safe room. I'm trying to see if we get an
Speaker 1: update on how many people are still alive, because normally
Speaker 1: it starts with like days till level collapse, but we're
Speaker 1: in the midst of it, so it doesn't start that
Speaker 1: way here, and we get this weird update about I'm
Speaker 1: trying to find the spot where they say that they're
Speaker 1: going to be speeding things up, but it it doesn't
Speaker 1: make a lot of sense. They're trying to claim that
Speaker 1: the number of people who died is like above what
Speaker 1: was expected. So they're speeding things up, which isn't what
Speaker 1: you would do if you were ahead having killed too
Speaker 1: many people. That's you would do the opposite. So they're
Speaker 1: giving this like explanation for this thing that is clearly bullshit.
Speaker 1: And I have to assume budget cuts mean you've got
Speaker 1: to speed things up because you can't have as long
Speaker 1: a season as you would have otherwise. And let's see,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to see. We've got a bunch of stuff
Speaker 1: going on with like the other people and just what
Speaker 1: they're all each up to. I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: into it too much with them because I'm running out
Speaker 1: of time. I have like a whole other chapter to
Speaker 1: cover and I am literally already over. But they talk.
Speaker 1: He talks to Brandon about his boss box, a magic boomerang,
Speaker 1: Chris got some book of the club thing, Immani doesn't
Speaker 1: tell us what she gets, and Yolanda received a new
Speaker 1: type of quiver that Immani doesn't share what she gets.
Speaker 1: Is interesting, Like, I don't hate it, but I do
Speaker 1: feel like your teammates should get to know. I don't
Speaker 1: know why you wouldn't want to share that with your teammates.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it's just that she is still, like,
Speaker 1: has so much trauma from fighting and having killed all
Speaker 1: those people before that she doesn't want to have to
Speaker 1: be asked to use certain things. I don't know. Let's
Speaker 1: see Lucienmarr and her dogs obliterated a nest of shaggy
Speaker 1: monsters before descending the stairs. I mean right afterwards. She'd
Speaker 1: been whisked away to a pieran Odette's show, and we
Speaker 1: get to see like the clip that they are in,
Speaker 1: and this is when it's mentioned that in the clips,
Speaker 1: Yolanda or Yolanda points out that Agatha didn't show up
Speaker 1: and how weird that is she was edited out. Let's see,
Speaker 1: Oh right, Donut, you need to stop obsessing over this.
Speaker 1: It's dangerous. It's going to get us killed. I'm not obsessing.
Speaker 1: What makes you think I've been obsessing people like you
Speaker 1: because of what you've been doing. If you start playing
Speaker 1: for the camera, they're going to like you less and
Speaker 1: if you die, you won't be remembered at all. So
Speaker 1: try not to think about it. I don't know what
Speaker 1: you're talking about, Carl. So yeah, this is when we
Speaker 1: get the numbers slightly lower than our projection, so we're
Speaker 1: speeding up the second floor time or to the minimum
Speaker 1: legally allowed by the rules. You have six days to
Speaker 1: find a staircase down. Once again, we urge you all
Speaker 1: to wait until the last possible moment to descend. As
Speaker 1: soon as this announcement ends, you'll find that follows and
Speaker 1: favorites will be turned on for our viewers. The numbers
Speaker 1: will populate slowly on your interface, so don't be disappointed
Speaker 1: if you don't see anything just yet. We also have
Speaker 1: improved how patronage works season a major change, so please
Speaker 1: pay attention. All crawlers are now limited to three patrons,
Speaker 1: and all three spots will be up for auction for
Speaker 1: one day immediately upon the induction of the fourth floor,
Speaker 1: the fifth, then the sixth floors, respectively. Your benefactors may
Speaker 1: so choose to transfer their patronage to other parties at
Speaker 1: their own discretion. Starting on the seventh floor, all patronage
Speaker 1: spots will become available at a bid of one credit,
Speaker 1: meaning this season virtually all living crawlers will have patrons,
Speaker 1: but be warned any bids the patron pays above the
Speaker 1: standard patronage fee will be reflected in loop box discounts
Speaker 1: for that patron. Any funds below the fee will be
Speaker 1: reflected in additional costs to that patron for loop boxes.
Speaker 1: In other words, the more your patron pays for you,
Speaker 1: the more and higher quality benefactor boxes you may receive.
Speaker 1: The higher your social numbers, the better your chances at
Speaker 1: receiving the best loot that is so convoluted. Guys, I
Speaker 1: am really confused by this, and I'm trying to link
Speaker 1: this back to the budget issues somehow, which also it
Speaker 1: makes sense that they only get one roll of toilet
Speaker 1: paper per floor now, because that's like, you know, that's
Speaker 1: actually kind of funny, but keeping it in like two
Speaker 1: three patrons max. And unless you pay more, that makes
Speaker 1: sense with the budget because we need you to give
Speaker 1: us more money or else your people aren't getting as
Speaker 1: good stuff. Sure, I'm going to guess that it's basically
Speaker 1: like normally we would supply the loot, but now we
Speaker 1: are literally using your patron's support money for the loot
Speaker 1: in a way that maybe that wasn't quite so close
Speaker 1: together before, if that makes sense. And then we get
Speaker 1: the warning about how if anybody pisses or shits in
Speaker 1: the halls anymore, they are going to be immediately killed.
Speaker 1: That's not exactly what they say, but they will bring
Speaker 1: a rage elemental plucked from the thirteenth floor. It will
Speaker 1: kill them and everyone in their party before it can
Speaker 1: get their pants back up. So, yeah, this is just
Speaker 1: the bathroom thing. I hadn't really thought of as being
Speaker 1: that big a deal. But it turns out that there's
Speaker 1: an old man who does this like peas in the
Speaker 1: hall all the time. And she says, I have a
Speaker 1: few adult pads left. I'll make sure he puts one on.
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I don't really feel
Speaker 1: like that's gonna work out. The reasoning for speeding and
Speaker 1: up doesn't make any sense, IMMANI said. I nodded, agreeing.
Speaker 1: If anything, it seems like they're trying to get rid
Speaker 1: of us faster. Carl, I have my first follower of
Speaker 1: another of you. Yeah, I said, you know that viewer
Speaker 1: is watching you right now, so maybe you should stop
Speaker 1: acting crazy. We talked about this. Doughnut stiffened her eyes, going,
Speaker 1: you're right, that was quite the battle today, don't you think, Carl.
Speaker 1: She said this in a weird, stilted I'm trying to
Speaker 1: act casual, but I'm not very good at it voice.
Speaker 1: I sighed, and it took everything not to say my
Speaker 1: catchphrase out loud. She's going to get used to it.
Speaker 2: It's new.
Speaker 1: You gotta give her time. After Odet's show finished airing,
Speaker 1: I knew those numbers were going to skyrocket.
Speaker 2: This was going to be a long night.
Speaker 1: And that is the end of the chapter. Rob says, Basically,
Speaker 1: there's a standard feed, but the minimum bid is one credit.
Speaker 1: But if you pay that little, your sponsorship gets fucked
Speaker 1: money grab Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Michael says, I
Speaker 1: get the feeling. Normally, most crawlers never get a sponsorship.
Speaker 1: By doing it, they'll get money for dead weight, and
Speaker 1: they'll get extra money from sponsors bidding up the popular crawlers.
Speaker 1: And if someone sponsored a cheap crawler that later pops,
Speaker 1: they can transfer that to another with more money and
Speaker 1: they'll have to spend more money to send them loop boxes.
Speaker 1: Makes sense, I think. I think, all right, guys, I
Speaker 1: have to wrap. I am so so over time we
Speaker 1: see how far yeah, literally twenty minutes over. I cannot
Speaker 1: be doing this every time. Oh my god, you're welcome
Speaker 1: until next time to the loo.
Speaker 3: Motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: That was an unspoiled network podcast