1 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,119 Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, welcome back to Dear to See You. We're 2 00:00:15,199 --> 00:00:18,320 jumping right into it. We have some subscription on the liners. 3 00:00:18,359 --> 00:00:20,399 We want you to follow Dear to See You on 4 00:00:20,679 --> 00:00:25,160 Apple and Spotify and leave a five star review now one, 5 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:28,600 not two, a five star review. We also want you 6 00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:31,960 to subscribe to Relationship Restore and Dear to See It, 7 00:00:32,039 --> 00:00:35,439 which is under to See a XBS. And lastly, we're 8 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:40,240 trying to get to ten thousand subscribers by the end 9 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,159 of the year and that is totally doable. So stop 10 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:44,799 playing with me and stop playing on my name. I 11 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,359 know y'all can do it, all right. For to interduce 12 00:00:47,399 --> 00:00:52,079 our Peanut Gallery, y'all seen Doctor Nico before, Okay, if 13 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:56,479 y'all saw our live podcast, we had Doctor Nicole here today, 14 00:00:56,479 --> 00:00:58,479 and I always like to introduce how I met my 15 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:03,039 Peanut Gallery girls girls in the mix with the girls, Okay, 16 00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:05,599 went out, hung out together and we've been locked in 17 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,120 ever since. Okay, So we also were just chatting about 18 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,200 how we will be on that plane Sagana. Look December 19 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,120 twenty fifth, leaving on Christmas. That's how you know you 20 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,359 ain't got no kids. You ain't gotta go fishing you 21 00:01:18,359 --> 00:01:19,959 ain't got a husband. Okay, you can get on that 22 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:25,719 plane Christmas. Hey, we're gonna be there and we're both 23 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:30,719 in first class. Thank you kindly, Thank y'all for listening. 24 00:01:32,439 --> 00:01:36,000 Thank y'all for listening in Okay, all right, so our 25 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:40,920 listener review this is from single mom of five. All Right, 26 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:44,319 we need we needed more of you, girl. I am 27 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,799 loving a podcast. I can listen to you talk that 28 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,480 talk all day lol. Thank you for your sound practical 29 00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:54,280 advice for the girlies who struggle. Definitely wish I knew 30 00:01:54,359 --> 00:01:58,640 all of this. Four definitely wish I knew all of 31 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:03,879 this four something ago, maybe four years ago. Oh, four 32 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:08,120 baby dadd he's a go, they' said four bds, And 33 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,960 I'm like four years for four baby dandies a go. 34 00:02:11,159 --> 00:02:13,439 I know that's right, But we live and wear, we 35 00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:16,879 live and we learn. I hope you learn. Hope you lard. 36 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,599 Thank you so much single Mama five for writing in 37 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,960 all right, are dear to see a voicemail number one? 38 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,639 Why be my boyfriend? If you still want other girls? 39 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 2: M dear to see you. 40 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,759 Speaker 3: I've been seeing this guy for about ten months now. 41 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,800 We started talking in February and he asked me to 42 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,120 be his girlfriend about two three months ago. Hey, we've 43 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,960 been making memories. We introduced each other to our families, 44 00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:48,360 going out to eat. I recently had access to its 45 00:02:48,439 --> 00:02:51,240 fault and I seen messages between him and his friends 46 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,639 in the group chat, and he's basically living a double life. 47 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:59,840 He's asking friends for other girls instagrams. He telling his 48 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,919 friends he loved me, but then he's also asking them, Hey, 49 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,080 that girl that was at the party, Like I like her, 50 00:03:06,159 --> 00:03:08,759 What's what's her number? What's her this? And like, I've 51 00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:11,560 seen all of this and it broke my heart deeply, 52 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,919 and I just wanted to know why do men do 53 00:03:15,039 --> 00:03:17,400 all of these things? Ask you to be their girlfriend, 54 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,280 introduce you to their family, take you out on dates, 55 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,719 and still do single stuff. I'm just I'm just so 56 00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:27,120 confused her and I would love your advice. 57 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:34,319 Speaker 1: So a couple of things for me. I love to 58 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,360 stay out the wide weeds, Okay, I like to stay 59 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,680 out of the weeds of the wise, because when you 60 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,159 so focus on why did he do this, why do 61 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,639 he cheat on me? Why is he then you keep 62 00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:49,000 you it's a distraction from what actually is. And the 63 00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:51,080 truth of the matter is that he want to be outside. 64 00:03:51,199 --> 00:03:53,479 He wants to be free. He doesn't seem to be 65 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,520 settled with himself. It could be a lot of things 66 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,759 that's going on with him. It could be insecurities, it 67 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,680 could be old traumas. It could be that's just the 68 00:04:00,719 --> 00:04:03,879 way that he feels secure in life. Maybe he's just 69 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,439 in the fund say all the fucking wise that I 70 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,719 just name ain't got shit to do with you, baby, Okay, 71 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,680 the man don't want to The man don't want to 72 00:04:10,719 --> 00:04:13,840 be kept all right, And so I personally like to 73 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,160 stay out of the wywi's. I think that it's actually 74 00:04:16,199 --> 00:04:20,000 emotionally draining and it will take you so many different places. 75 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:21,759 Right The why will be like, well what about this? 76 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:23,759 And what about this? Well if he did this, and 77 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,600 I think it's just it makes a spiral. So I 78 00:04:26,759 --> 00:04:29,079 like to think about the things that I can control. 79 00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:33,519 Quite frankly, just baseline, he probably just isn't ready for 80 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,480 a commitment. It has nothing to do with you. I know. 81 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,720 It's very hard not to attach that to feelings or 82 00:04:40,759 --> 00:04:43,560 like feel some kind of way about that, because, like 83 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,160 you said, he is your boyfriend, and so why would 84 00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,639 you want other girls? But I think that some people 85 00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:51,079 are just in different periods of their life. Some people 86 00:04:51,079 --> 00:04:53,759 don't have the same idea of attachment or being in 87 00:04:53,759 --> 00:04:56,800 a relationship. They just really truly don't have the same 88 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,199 ideas of that. And it just sounds like he's a 89 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,639 loose goose. Sounds like he's a little goose for the streets. 90 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,560 And I mean, I think that there's a time and 91 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,120 a place for that, but you can't be in a 92 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,160 relationship and doing those things. My advice is really just 93 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,199 to not to internalize that. What are you thinking? 94 00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 4: Well, again, like you said about the why, I find 95 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,240 when we start asking why, we tend to internalize it 96 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,079 and think something is wrong with us when it has 97 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,120 absolutely nothing to do with us. He outside on the 98 00:05:26,199 --> 00:05:28,399 streets because that's where he wants to be. But also 99 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,759 it is easier to pretend to be committed to someone 100 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,800 than it is to actually live it. So, like you said, 101 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,720 he's living a double life. You don't even need to 102 00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:42,959 know the why he's not living up to what you 103 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,279 want him to be, what you want your relationship to be. 104 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,360 That is your cue to just go. You don't need 105 00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:50,000 to know the why. You know the type of woman 106 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,759 that you are, and that is what matters. 107 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:59,079 Speaker 1: What I think is interesting. She said that she's been 108 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:04,079 dating Heim for ten months. Everything look picture perfect, family introductions, dates, memories, 109 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,199 and he asks her to be his girlfriend. Two or 110 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:11,519 three months ago she saw the group chat, and then 111 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,360 that's when things start to get shaky. Why do some 112 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,480 men act committed but still move like they're single. I 113 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:26,079 think that that's a particular category of guy. And I 114 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,160 don't think she said how old she was, but I 115 00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:32,560 think that to your point, it's you know when some 116 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,680 women asks me like, why do men they act like 117 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,160 they're so attracted to you and excited to be with you, 118 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,480 and then when they get with you, they try to 119 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,680 like humble you. Right, it was almost like this, and 120 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,720 I'm like, well, what they say, a phantom look like 121 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,959 a rose Wars is to a rose orce pull up. 122 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,360 It's admirable until you have to maintain it. It's admirable 123 00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:57,600 away from you until it's sten close enough proximity to you, 124 00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:59,879 and you have to maintain it until you're a point 125 00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:04,040 the relationship sound good. It's actually easy to perform until 126 00:07:04,079 --> 00:07:06,360 you really have to do it and be in it. 127 00:07:06,439 --> 00:07:09,879 Because seeing your family or meeting your family in Dayta 128 00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:12,160 and all that stuff, that's a you know. Look, I was, 129 00:07:12,319 --> 00:07:14,439 that's a magical monthly moment. Okay, you can do that. 130 00:07:14,439 --> 00:07:16,680 You got a Thanksgiving, it's a couple of holidays. You 131 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,680 can do a day night once a week or whatever. 132 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:21,160 But that's how kind of commitment is in the heart. 133 00:07:21,839 --> 00:07:23,759 Maybe it's not outside, it's not in the mind, it's 134 00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:25,439 not on your body. It is in the heart. And 135 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,199 when you want to really settle down and commit to somebody, 136 00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:32,680 that takes a lot more effort because you want somebody 137 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,079 that's gonna respect you and actually be in relationship with 138 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,759 you when nobody's watching, and that when you're nowhere around 139 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,519 all right, And that is actually, specifically for men, a 140 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,279 lot harder. 141 00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 2: Like I said, it's harder to live it. 142 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,879 Speaker 4: It's yes, sometimes they look at it and they think 143 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,839 it's sugar and they get a taste of it and 144 00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:51,879 it's salked. 145 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, hello, hello. And that's why that group chat is 146 00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:57,240 he literally living. 147 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,399 Speaker 4: A whole different life. And the reality is he was 148 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,079 already living this life. You just had something in your 149 00:08:03,079 --> 00:08:05,680 discernment whatever, in your stomach, and you decided to look. 150 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,839 Speaker 2: Something told you to look, because why were you inquiring 151 00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:08,560 about it anyway? 152 00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, so you already knew you just chose not to 153 00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:14,519 listen to yourself to. 154 00:08:14,839 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: The Another question is can a man love you and 155 00:08:17,639 --> 00:08:22,480 still actively seek attention from others? I wish one that 156 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,800 we can really talk about this, like I want you 157 00:08:25,959 --> 00:08:28,720 to know like to me, like love is just so fickle. 158 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,399 And I think that this is one of my most 159 00:08:30,519 --> 00:08:34,840 controversial opinions when women like, but I love him to me, 160 00:08:34,879 --> 00:08:38,440 it's just like so like love it is just so fickle. 161 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,559 And I don't think it has the depth that we 162 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,919 make it that we give to it. Because can a 163 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,639 man love you and seek attention from others? Absolutely, love 164 00:08:47,879 --> 00:08:50,360 is not gonna make him exempt from cheating. It's not 165 00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:53,440 gonna make him exempt from lying to you, from betrayal, 166 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,879 from looking at other women from like. That is a 167 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,600 layer to it, but it takes a whole bunch of 168 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:07,080 other things that actually evolve character, Okay, integrity, accountability, morals 169 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,039 and ethics, right, those are the things that actually matter 170 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,399 and love and gonna do it. You can literally love 171 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:16,840 someone and cheap, you can love someone and lie like 172 00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,720 that is just a god honest truth. And I wish 173 00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:23,039 we would stop putting so much on so much weight 174 00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:27,759 on love. Love again, I would talk about I'd rather 175 00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:30,879 you be in life with me than in love. So 176 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,519 I think that why your original question basically was like 177 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,639 why is he doing those kind of things? I think 178 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,919 it's just really just a self It's a self internal thing. 179 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,759 He may still be having fun, he may get validation 180 00:09:45,279 --> 00:09:49,519 from those things. Even if you feel like you're validating him. 181 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,519 It's nothing more that you can do from somebody who 182 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,799 still wants to seek attention elsewhere. And so that's an 183 00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:59,039 internal job and really is you could just be a 184 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,960 timing thing. Like I've seen men who'll been out here 185 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,480 in the streets in six months later a whole switch 186 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,840 go off. They like, I'm not really doing it no more. 187 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,759 I don't drink alcohol. I'm not really out here like that. 188 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,080 I just want they not It's a switch. And so 189 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,000 don't tie yourself to where he is now. Baby, that's 190 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,159 a personal problem for him. So don't be in the 191 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,639 weeds of the wives. Okay, AnyWho on to our voicemail 192 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:25,240 number two, dear to see it. His girlfriend abused my son. 193 00:10:25,639 --> 00:10:29,200 Now he wants to co parent to see him. 194 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,919 Speaker 5: My baby father now wants to come in my seven 195 00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:35,960 year old's life after two years he has not seen 196 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,279 my son or talked to him in two years. His 197 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,919 new girlfriend has done nothing but live, threaten, harassed, and 198 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,559 has mocked me on Instagram, down to the point where 199 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,480 she's dressing like me and doing her hair exactly like me. 200 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,559 She has overstepped boundaries so many times because he allows her. 201 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,799 She has also put her hands on my son before. 202 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,799 What do you think I should do? I think coleparenting 203 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,600 is impossible. She has shown so much hatred towards me 204 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,080 that I don't feel like my son would ever be 205 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,360 safe around her. It's definitely a cause for concern. I 206 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,120 do not feel as though my son will be safe 207 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,120 around his new girlfriend after a lot of things that 208 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,759 she has done. 209 00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 1: And as I said on the last episode, sometimes I 210 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,399 actually know why I'm not a parent because I will 211 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,879 be in jail. I'm not fit for a split household. 212 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,399 I'm not split. I'm not fit to pole parent and 213 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,960 split my child up. Will I will be a sister wife? 214 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,679 Were all going to be in this house? Okay I 215 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,440 always say that, but this is my thing. When you 216 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,279 go out of somebody's life, you leave a child's life 217 00:11:41,279 --> 00:11:43,080 for two years. When you come back, you on my 218 00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:46,840 fucking terms, okay, because you've been absent and this is 219 00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:52,000 not just me trying to control you or me trying 220 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:56,000 to manipulate and play pond and puppeteer you right. This 221 00:11:56,039 --> 00:11:59,919 is your girlfriend that you are still with has abuse 222 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,039 my son. So now, baby, we're gonna take it to 223 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,720 the courts. If you want to see your son, we're 224 00:12:04,759 --> 00:12:06,519 gonna take it to the court, and we're gonna make 225 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,960 this shit legal, and we're gonna make it actually black 226 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,200 and white. Baby, since you still want to be with 227 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:16,039 somebody who is one immature two is interrupting your co 228 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,039 parents in life and also probably could be the reason 229 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,080 why you haven't seen your child in two years or 230 00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:23,879 right now when you want to come back, and it's 231 00:12:23,919 --> 00:12:27,519 called take it to the courts, it's called mediator, okay. 232 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:33,519 And what they call it shared visits or supervise visits, 233 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,279 supervised business. It's called supervised business. And then when you 234 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,360 maybe work your way up until we have built trust 235 00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:43,879 that but you can't come back and tell me what 236 00:12:43,919 --> 00:12:45,879 you're gonna do after you've been gone and you're with 237 00:12:46,039 --> 00:12:50,320 a partner who does not create safety for my child. 238 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,279 I will protect my child to the end of the 239 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,240 day baby, Okay to today I die. I'm not going 240 00:12:56,279 --> 00:12:59,000 to put my child in that type of predicament because 241 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,120 you want to come back and be dad today. Now 242 00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:03,639 you have to earn that. Now, my child doesn't know you, 243 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,200 my child doesn't trust you, And just because you have 244 00:13:06,759 --> 00:13:09,159 you the other half of their DNA does not mean 245 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,240 that I'm gonna just relinquish my child to you. There's 246 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,600 a children deserve to feel safe, they deserve to feel protected, 247 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,159 and that's something that you and I are gonna have 248 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:23,720 to work on under the guise of the law. Okay, 249 00:13:24,799 --> 00:13:26,799 period point of be like, don't send your kid over there, 250 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,240 don't send that baby over there you don't know. And 251 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,759 honestly too, a lot of the women, and we've seen 252 00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:40,960 a lot of din call in the media, these step bombas, babysitters, nannies, 253 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,200 childcare workers. Them kids are going home, they're going in 254 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,200 their care and they're not coming home. Okay, I watch 255 00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:50,679 way too much true crimes to be playing around with 256 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:55,200 a grown adote. Okay, a lot of women, and it's 257 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,879 always the women for some reason. I feel like a 258 00:13:57,919 --> 00:14:01,519 lot of that emotion and that spite women will take 259 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,799 it real far for men and when they can't get 260 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:05,240 to you. 261 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 2: They gonna get toss. 262 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,639 Speaker 1: They gonna get to the next best thing that you 263 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,159 care about. And you have to be really careful about 264 00:14:11,279 --> 00:14:15,039 spiteful people. And I think her behavior is very harmful 265 00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:19,159 and this shows that she is destructive. So she will 266 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,279 try to destruct and I don't know what to what 267 00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:24,960 end she'll go. I ain't sending my baby over there. 268 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,840 Don't send your baby over there. Are called the courts, 269 00:14:27,519 --> 00:14:34,840 supervised visits. Period m boy smell number three. He won't 270 00:14:34,879 --> 00:14:36,639 acknowledge me in public. 271 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,039 Speaker 2: There to see. 272 00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:38,919 Speaker 6: Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year 273 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,000 and a half. We are in our thirties, and we 274 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,279 are currently on a break. I recently decided for us 275 00:14:43,279 --> 00:14:45,159 to go on a break due to me becoming frustrated 276 00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:47,960 with our relationship because of lack of acknowledgment. I feel 277 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,879 like he doesn't love me out loud, and it's starting 278 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,360 to make me feel like I don't matter. He says 279 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,480 the reason is because he's not used to being in 280 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,399 a relationship and that he's a private person. 281 00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:57,399 Speaker 2: He's a scorpio. 282 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 6: I'm a tourist, I'm. 283 00:14:58,399 --> 00:14:59,039 Speaker 2: An open book. 284 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,799 Speaker 6: So yeah, I don't get so over the summer We 285 00:15:01,879 --> 00:15:04,159 ran into some girls he knew at an event and 286 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,159 they introduced themselves and they was waiting on him to 287 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,039 introduce me, and he couldn't. He froze up and he 288 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,120 couldn't even get out that I was his girlfriend, or 289 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,320 couldn't even get my name out. It was an embarrassing moment. Recently, 290 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,519 he's been going through a lot. His mom has passed, 291 00:15:16,559 --> 00:15:18,440 so I've been trying to help him through what he's 292 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,360 going through. Been kind of suppressed on my feelings that 293 00:15:20,399 --> 00:15:22,600 I have stuff we was working on to be there 294 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,840 for him. At his mother's funeral, his job came in 295 00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:27,919 to support him. It's people out here about on a 296 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,840 daily basis. So he goes to introduce his daughter, who 297 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,039 is right next to me, without introducing me to them, 298 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,720 like just acting like I wasn't even there. At three 299 00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:40,320 pass that day, a few of his cousins came up 300 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,879 and he introduced his daughter that was at the table, 301 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,039 and he did not introduce me or acknowledge me as 302 00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:48,799 his girlfriend. These are things that we have been going 303 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,200 through throughout our relationship. And like I said, he says, 304 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,519 he's a private person. He started therapy. 305 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,399 Speaker 2: I don't know. 306 00:15:57,679 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: You said you were on a break, stay on the 307 00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:03,559 break and don't go back, okay, because there's a difference 308 00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:08,919 between tact and having couth and a certain type of 309 00:16:08,919 --> 00:16:12,440 decorum and cadence that you have with somebody and blatant 310 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,879 fucking disrespect like exactly you could have Like I'm a 311 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:20,240 human and I have a name. Even if your justification 312 00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:25,279 is you don't feel comfortable you you're a private person. Hi, 313 00:16:25,799 --> 00:16:29,200 this is to see you. They don't know if I'm 314 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:33,360 your cousin, your sister, your whomever. There's a difference between 315 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:40,240 being a private person and secrecy number one. Okay, privacy 316 00:16:40,279 --> 00:16:45,799 and secrecy is two different things. And also I think 317 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,639 I would pay a lot of attention to his actual 318 00:16:49,279 --> 00:16:52,159 neurological response. She said that Nigga choked up couldn't even 319 00:16:52,159 --> 00:16:56,639 gear her name out. What you're so scared of? It's 320 00:16:56,639 --> 00:16:58,840 something right about that? Is it something that you know? 321 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,000 Somebody around us? I want them to know. Are you 322 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,159 actually with somebody else? And you can't even tell the 323 00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:05,920 people that you like what is really kind of going on? 324 00:17:06,039 --> 00:17:09,160 And I think that that is a huge red flag 325 00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,759 because I'm gonna tell you this, I have been around 326 00:17:11,759 --> 00:17:14,200 men that I'm dating full out data and then yeah, 327 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,079 we probably haven't quite really announced it, but it's just 328 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:21,559 psychiatasist to see it. This man act like you cast 329 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:25,160 but a friendly ghost. He's skipping over you like he on. Okay, 330 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,319 you have to have a certain level of respect, and 331 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,519 I'm telling you it's so important how you handle these 332 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,640 I handle these situations. I hope that you started pulling back. 333 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,480 I hope that you start subtracting access because that's the 334 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,240 only way that people learn. And these men know that 335 00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:43,000 they can't fucking play with you. Okay, that just to 336 00:17:43,039 --> 00:17:44,759 me is just like blating disrespect. 337 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,319 Speaker 2: I think it's beyond disrespect honestly for me. 338 00:17:47,759 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's almost like he likes what she's doing for 339 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,880 him privately, so he want to hold on to her, 340 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,279 but he hiding something else where it won't go public. 341 00:17:58,519 --> 00:18:02,160 You can't remember my name, right, You don't got to 342 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,880 say this is my girlfriend Nicole, but you can say 343 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,400 this is no Cole. This the fact you don't want 344 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,720 people to even know my name. 345 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 2: What are you hiding? 346 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 4: Yeah? 347 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 1: What are you hiding? And I just feel like men 348 00:18:15,759 --> 00:18:18,039 show off all the things that they proud of. Okay, 349 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,640 you you go on a date nap that man gonna 350 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,119 have his car, he gonna have a job he got, 351 00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:26,279 he gonna have his fucking dog if he got a dog. Okay, 352 00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:29,920 he gonna have, you know, everything that he's proud of. 353 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,319 A family, a boat that he got, a car, a vehicle, 354 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,480 a job, a dog, a child, Okay, every the men 355 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,279 are going to show what they're proud of. So why 356 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,119 is he ignoring you in this way and not really 357 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,319 acknowledging you to me? Even if he has you in 358 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:51,880 that space the ultimate level of respect, like just having 359 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,319 you there is not enough, especially if he gonna skip 360 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,400 over you and demean you, like, no way, no way 361 00:18:57,519 --> 00:18:59,839 that man would have to go on a public announcementor 362 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,359 fucking with me rally all the people call them all 363 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,319 in there. You get up there and tell them who 364 00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:07,519 I am. Okay, And now, honestly, I don't even have 365 00:19:07,559 --> 00:19:09,200 the energy for that. I'm too d I'm old. I 366 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,720 don't even have the energy for all of that. I 367 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,799 feel like I feel like there's something that there's something 368 00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:18,200 quite right. Can love thrive in silence or does public 369 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,559 validation matter? 370 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,519 Speaker 4: That's tricky because it's going back to love, because I've 371 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:28,799 seen love where it is silent. Yeah, and it doesn't 372 00:19:28,839 --> 00:19:32,880 require the validation, and it works for those couples. Yes, 373 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,160 but I think a lot of people look at relationships 374 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,519 and the first thing they focus on is love. Do 375 00:19:37,599 --> 00:19:41,119 you have the respect? Do you have integrity? Do you 376 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:45,359 have vulnerability with each other? Some things don't need to 377 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,680 be spoken out loud. But again, there's a difference between 378 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,480 being private and being secret. I don't think you need 379 00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:55,200 public validation. If you do, that's something within you. 380 00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: And also too, my thing is if I'm out with you, 381 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,119 even if you didn't say them, people could see that 382 00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:07,160 we together. Okay. There's a certain way that a man 383 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,960 carries an acts around his woman. You ain't gotta say much, 384 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,599 but you when it comes to me going to the bathroom, 385 00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:16,000 You checking to see if I'm hungry, You wanted to 386 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,799 refiel my drink, You making sure I ate. There is 387 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,599 a certain way that a man is gonna cater to 388 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,680 his woman when he's in public. Not skipping over you 389 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,519 and can't even remember your name. Child, No, ma'am, you 390 00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:30,319 own a break with them. Stay on the break, and 391 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,599 I mean that, stay on the break, good riddance. Tell 392 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,400 him to come back when he's ot therapy and also 393 00:20:35,519 --> 00:20:39,039 before we move on to the next thing. I know 394 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,079 this sounds so crazy, but I feel like I can 395 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,359 say this because both of my parents are deceased. I 396 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,200 see so many women that are now dealing with men 397 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:54,160 who are experiencing grief and going through something, and the 398 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,680 first thing is always like, my mom died, somebody died, 399 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,559 like you know, and these men completely turned to the 400 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:06,200 opposite way. And I personally feel like that I know 401 00:21:06,319 --> 00:21:08,839 that at this moment, I'm not the center of attention. 402 00:21:09,079 --> 00:21:12,200 I'm not the one that I'm not everything that you're 403 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,599 thinking about, you know. And I don't want this to 404 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,799 sound selfish, but I even think that a man experiencing 405 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,200 grief that if he messages with you the right way, 406 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,200 there's a certain kind of way he's gonna handle you. 407 00:21:25,599 --> 00:21:29,799 I'm coaching women who they're like, oh, these men shut down, 408 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,880 ain't talk to him for two, three, four months, And 409 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,960 I'm just like, ah, Babby, that's a little bit more 410 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,559 than my mama died. And I know that, oh my mom, 411 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,960 he's going through so much, his father passed away, and 412 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,559 he's just and I'm just like a man that looks 413 00:21:45,559 --> 00:21:48,799 at you in the long term, he's gonna have you 414 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,759 as his side. Okay, he's gonna have you in his peripheral. 415 00:21:52,839 --> 00:21:57,680 He's gonna really make sure that you, you know, are 416 00:21:57,759 --> 00:22:00,599 a support. He's gonna position you to be a And 417 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,440 yes it may not be the same. Yes, he may 418 00:22:02,519 --> 00:22:04,480 be a little bit more reserved. Yes he may be 419 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,559 pulling back a little bit. But you ain't talk to 420 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,839 him in two months because his mama died. Nah nah nah. 421 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,200 And I know that that sounds crazy, like the parent 422 00:22:14,319 --> 00:22:16,519 is a big thing, but I don't think it does. Yeah, 423 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,559 like somebody that's that's a I know there's grief is 424 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,599 not linear and it's not a certain it's not monogamous, right, Like, 425 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,119 it's not just one kind of way. But that is 426 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,200 a very weird behavior for somebody to ghost you for 427 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:36,160 weeks and not talking to you, installing you out because 428 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,480 they lost a parent. I think that's one of the 429 00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:43,440 ultimate tests in a big form of communication, intimacy and connection, 430 00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:46,839 when you're experiencing grief like that and you pull me 431 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,440 into you, position me where you need me to be. 432 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,559 A man goes see you out the two months because 433 00:22:52,599 --> 00:22:54,720 his mama died. I'm sorry, something right about it. 434 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 4: You wouldn't you wouldn't have told me and to begin 435 00:22:57,039 --> 00:22:58,680 in about your mom dying. If he was gonna go 436 00:22:58,799 --> 00:23:02,720 to me two months you've already well it may be true, 437 00:23:02,759 --> 00:23:04,799 but you're just laying out that story for me and 438 00:23:04,839 --> 00:23:07,559 you're playing on my emotions when this is where the 439 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,240 mind knows what the heart is prepared for. You have 440 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,400 to ensure that you yourself have emotional safety before you're trying 441 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,839 to secure somebody else's emotional safety. 442 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, leave them, leave them in silence, Leave them and 443 00:23:23,799 --> 00:23:27,240 leave them in silence, y'all. You you you on a break, 444 00:23:27,319 --> 00:23:31,519 Stay on the break. Now to our bitch you Smell 445 00:23:31,599 --> 00:23:33,720 Good segments, And we didn't get to do this well 446 00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:39,480 last time because so our fragrance segment bit you Smell 447 00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:43,799 Good is Niche Sanee one hundred Silent Ways, And actually, uh, 448 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,759 Nicole is also one of my fragrance booths. We always 449 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:49,240 talking about fragrances, and I felt like, you know, I 450 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,680 saved these ones for kind of for this, for these 451 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:57,759 episodes because they are unisex, okay, and so I just 452 00:23:57,799 --> 00:24:00,000 feel like Nicole can kind of get with them. Anyways, 453 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,759 This is hundred Island Ways. This is mandarin peach tuberos 454 00:24:04,799 --> 00:24:09,319 of the top note Guardinia, Jasmine Orris and some white 455 00:24:09,319 --> 00:24:11,960 floor rolls, and then we have base The base notes 456 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:18,559 are vanilla, sandalwood, vivetteer, vanilla, musk fundamentals. Okay, so this 457 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,119 is it's a very popular Frankly, y'all know, is my 458 00:24:22,279 --> 00:24:24,400 it's my gam did you spread? 459 00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? 460 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: What's your think? 461 00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 5: Well? 462 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,440 Speaker 4: I like this, you know, it's interesting, you know, I 463 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,240 always tell you like, I used to not be a 464 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,759 big fan of vanilla since but I realized a lot 465 00:24:37,799 --> 00:24:39,640 of the unisex ones that have vanilla in. 466 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,759 Speaker 1: It, vanilla and sandalwood, like, it was a good base, 467 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:44,279 y'all know. 468 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,319 Speaker 2: And I don't think I have this one of my. 469 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:55,920 Speaker 1: Listen. One time the Cold is Chicago to Chicago for 470 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,279 black boat seeing and I was at We're at the 471 00:24:59,319 --> 00:25:01,519 table like year in. I think by the end of 472 00:25:01,519 --> 00:25:05,440 the dinner everybody had bought it. Yeah, everybody had bought 473 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,960 the fragrance. It was so good. Anyways, I love this fragrance. 474 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,720 I actually have a body of shameless plug to Brown 475 00:25:12,759 --> 00:25:18,200 Sugar Babe. I think Hush is the oil for Niche 476 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,279 one hundred Island Ways. Don't quote me on that, but 477 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,079 I think they do have a match of oil to 478 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,319 this too good, Too good, y'all. This is one I 479 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,599 have purchased many many times. I actually got the big 480 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,279 bottle this time, super little, hefty dent in there. But 481 00:25:33,319 --> 00:25:35,799 love it, love it, Love that, y'all know. N It's 482 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:43,039 one of my favorite fragrance houses. How I feel you 483 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:49,319 up before you leave? Okay? Our red Flag report nano ships, 484 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,759 cute vibes or hidden red flags. There's a new dating 485 00:25:53,839 --> 00:25:57,759 trend rising heading into twenty twenty six, and according to 486 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:02,039 tenders Year and Slight Report, it's one of the biggest 487 00:26:02,079 --> 00:26:06,319 cultural shifts in how gen Z and millennials are approaching love. 488 00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:08,279 It's called the nanoship. 489 00:26:08,839 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 2: I remember. 490 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:15,519 Speaker 1: A nanoship is a tiny, low pressure connection more than 491 00:26:15,519 --> 00:26:18,279 a situationship, less than a relationship. 492 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 3: See this ya. 493 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,759 Speaker 1: Look, More than a situationship, less than a relationship built 494 00:26:26,759 --> 00:26:30,480 for the moment, not the long term. Think flirty vibes, 495 00:26:30,599 --> 00:26:35,640 consistent texting, hanging out, sharing playlists, self affection, but no plans, 496 00:26:35,759 --> 00:26:41,400 no progression, and definitely no commitment. Tender Data says more 497 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,519 singles are choosing these micro connections because they feel easier, lighter, 498 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,200 less stressful, more flexible, and align with people who want 499 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,359 to enjoy the moment. On the surface, it sounds adorable, 500 00:26:52,599 --> 00:26:55,440 a tiny love story, a romantic pit stop, a safe, 501 00:26:55,519 --> 00:26:59,720 temporary emotional cuddle. But underneath it can also reveal something 502 00:26:59,759 --> 00:27:03,240 deep because when you zoom out, nano ships are becoming 503 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:08,759 a pattern, especially among people who want companionship but fear commitment, 504 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:14,839 enjoy emotional closeness but avoid emotional responsibility, want connection without accountability, 505 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:20,319 benefit from the intimacy without offering structure, and that's where 506 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:24,720 the red flags start showing. Dating exports experts warn that 507 00:27:24,839 --> 00:27:28,799 nano ships can become a comfortable holding pattern, a place 508 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,119 where people linger because it feels nice, not because it 509 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,440 builds anything. It can also create a cycle where you 510 00:27:35,519 --> 00:27:38,960 pour time, emotions, and energy into someone who never intended 511 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,680 to move beyond the micro stage. And nano ship can 512 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:46,119 feel like romance, but it can also be emotional procrastination. 513 00:27:47,039 --> 00:27:50,920 If you keep attaching yourself to tiny love stories with 514 00:27:51,039 --> 00:27:54,799 no future, is that your dating style or a red 515 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:59,440 flag that you're settling for emotional crumbs because you're scared 516 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:06,079 of the full meal. Let me say this, I think 517 00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:10,119 that this could very much work for gen oh they 518 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,920 said gen Z and millennials. Let me say this. The 519 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,400 millennials ain't in this shit. I say that today, baby, 520 00:28:17,559 --> 00:28:19,799 the millennials were not in this ship. We did not agree. 521 00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:22,960 We do not know what this is. We're not in this, Okay, 522 00:28:23,279 --> 00:28:25,799 we are, We're not a part of this. I definitely 523 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,279 can see how this is a gen Z thing, though 524 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,799 very temporary, not a lot of structure. Loosey goosey, okay, 525 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:40,640 flighty right. I think millennials we are actually tired of 526 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:46,359 the nano ship situationships and we want something more. I 527 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,279 think we are yearning for deeper connection. Let me just 528 00:28:49,319 --> 00:28:53,680 say this. We already in the AI world. We already 529 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:58,000 in AI and chat GPT. Can we not AI a 530 00:28:58,079 --> 00:29:01,480 relationship and chat GPT? Like I think we are getting 531 00:29:01,519 --> 00:29:06,319 away from human connection. We're getting away from substantial ways 532 00:29:06,359 --> 00:29:09,480 of actually getting to know someone. And I just think 533 00:29:09,559 --> 00:29:14,079 that we're losing like foundation in this world. I don't 534 00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:17,680 want to nano ship with you, okay. And that's honestly, 535 00:29:17,759 --> 00:29:19,519 it sounds like a real relationship to me. 536 00:29:21,039 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 4: Like I said, it's settling, and it's on brand for 537 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,559 Generation Z because unlike us, like you know, back in 538 00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:30,039 the day, guys had to come up to us ask 539 00:29:30,039 --> 00:29:31,640 for our number in the club or we dance. 540 00:29:31,759 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 2: They had to speak to us. You can't send a DM. 541 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:35,680 You couldn't even text us. 542 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,359 Speaker 4: You got lucky we had pagers, and I still had 543 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,000 to go find a pay phone to call the number back. 544 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,720 So it is very on brand from gen Z because 545 00:29:44,759 --> 00:29:48,279 they do lack and their social skills when it comes 546 00:29:48,279 --> 00:29:51,839 to interacting with other human beings, whether it's platonic relationships 547 00:29:52,359 --> 00:29:55,160 or if it's intimate relationships. So it is very on 548 00:29:55,359 --> 00:29:58,759 brand for them because they lack those skills. 549 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:03,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, think so too. And I think though as well 550 00:30:03,119 --> 00:30:05,559 as that, I cannot wait till the research comes out 551 00:30:05,599 --> 00:30:09,720 about this as a researcher, Like I'm a researcher by trade, 552 00:30:09,759 --> 00:30:13,400 I cannot wait til the research comes out so we 553 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:18,000 can see what the long terms effects have been of 554 00:30:19,519 --> 00:30:26,039 chat gpt AI. Also just simple things like fucking air 555 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:31,119 fryers and all of that, Like just simple microwave quick 556 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,480 fix like I think we have, like we we're losing 557 00:30:34,559 --> 00:30:38,599 our way. I'm a very traditional kind of old school 558 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,839 person and literally I was in a car with my 559 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,680 homeword the other day and she was like, look at 560 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,519 this girl thing she looked. She was telling me to 561 00:30:46,559 --> 00:30:49,359 look at her page. She said she uses chat GPT 562 00:30:49,599 --> 00:30:52,160 for everything, and she's reading off the screen. And so 563 00:30:52,279 --> 00:30:54,839 then she further tells me that how you know is 564 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,440 chad GPT if there is they It was like she 565 00:30:58,559 --> 00:31:01,599 was telling me how I would know, like queues of 566 00:31:01,839 --> 00:31:04,519 chet GPT, and I was like, you must use She 567 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,559 was like, girl, yeah, I use. I had to download 568 00:31:06,559 --> 00:31:09,920 it on my phone because it was not something that 569 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,440 I had commonly commonly used, you know. And so I 570 00:31:14,519 --> 00:31:16,799 just think we are getting away. These kids don't know 571 00:31:16,799 --> 00:31:20,759 how to write in cursives, can't write an email, They 572 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,200 can't read, look, can't read and write, can't problem solved, 573 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:29,000 cannot It's just a weird thing. I'm the millennials. We 574 00:31:29,079 --> 00:31:31,519 do not concur we do not agree to this. We 575 00:31:31,559 --> 00:31:33,839 are not into any Daniel. We've been now. That's why 576 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,480 we where we're at now. We've been now, no shipping 577 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,839 this whole time from all the emotionally unavailable men. That's 578 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,440 just not going to fucking therapy. 579 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 2: A new name on the situationship is what they did exactly. 580 00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 1: It ain't a relationship but in a situation. But so 581 00:31:47,799 --> 00:31:48,440 it's in the middle. 582 00:31:48,559 --> 00:31:49,559 Speaker 2: No, it's a situation. 583 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 1: That's a situationship, situationship. But I think if that can 584 00:31:53,799 --> 00:32:03,799 be damaging, where you are connecting mediocrely and it's nothing 585 00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:07,519 materializing out of that, I think what we are losing 586 00:32:07,599 --> 00:32:11,279 sight of is that even failed relationships, when you go 587 00:32:11,359 --> 00:32:14,119 through infidelity, when somebody's cheating on you, when you go 588 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,559 through actually a great relationship that teaches you something about life. 589 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:23,880 It develops character, interpersonal skills, right, communication skills. So if 590 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,000 you don't actually get to the point where you have 591 00:32:26,119 --> 00:32:31,400 to commit, how are you gonna develop those skills? You 592 00:32:31,559 --> 00:32:34,160 have to actually be in relationship with somebody. And so 593 00:32:34,279 --> 00:32:37,079 if you have a lack of accountability and you don't 594 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,960 actually have to uphold the relationship because it's not a 595 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,079 real relationship, I think you're losing out on major, major 596 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,279 skills that you need for life. 597 00:32:48,039 --> 00:32:48,799 Speaker 2: It's avoidance. 598 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 4: And honestly, they're losing it on who they are because 599 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,640 it sounds like they're just too scared to say what 600 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,839 they really want or they're afraid that they won't get it. 601 00:32:55,480 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 1: Hm hmm. If you're scared of our church, are you 602 00:33:00,039 --> 00:33:01,960 cause you're not gonna get the relationship. That's also like 603 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,799 a really big thing. People like you said, commitment issues 604 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,839 instead of going full throttle for what they get a rejection. 605 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,680 They're scared of getting hurt, and they claim that they 606 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,000 don't they're not looking for a relationship. I got a 607 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,799 couple homegirls in this category. I ain't gonna say no names. 608 00:33:17,839 --> 00:33:19,440 I got a couple of homegirls that I know in 609 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,599 this category, child, And I was like, well, I'm not 610 00:33:21,759 --> 00:33:24,000 looking for yes, you do, bitch, you want a man. 611 00:33:24,519 --> 00:33:27,119 You want a man. You just looked Tyrone and Tyreek 612 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,400 then blew your back out and hurt your feelings and 613 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,640 broke your heart. And now you don't want to actually 614 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:36,480 proclaim that you won't love, all right, And so I'm proclaiming, 615 00:33:36,519 --> 00:33:38,880 and I've been proclaimed proclaiming for a very long time. 616 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:43,319 If anybody want to come rescue me out these streets, 617 00:33:43,359 --> 00:33:46,200 please let me know, Please call in. Okay, we need 618 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:47,880 to open up the holland R. That's a good idea. 619 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,039 We need to open up the hotline for anybody that 620 00:33:50,119 --> 00:33:54,680 wants Okay, everybody's looking for love, all right, And you 621 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,599 got enough balls to call my damn hotline. Stay child name. 622 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,319 I hope you got a nice voice. The voice just 623 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,759 do something to me? Why anyways, that's all folks, see 624 00:34:04,759 --> 00:34:13,199 you next time, m hm.