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Speaker 1: Callaroga Shark Media.

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Speaker 2: Hey there, I'm Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news

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and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the

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comedy industry. A sentence the Algorithm loves. I've been having

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fun doing the show lately. I mean, I always enjoy

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doing the show, but I feel like different names have

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been coming up, except for me talking about Nicki Glazer

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every day. But you know, like yesterday, I had just

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like different people in the mix. That always freshens it

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up for even me. But let's talk about Nicki Glazer.

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She was on the Tonight show because of course she

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was her PR team getting it done, the agent's getting

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it done America saying we're done. I think, I don't know,

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kind of getting that vibe anyway. Nicki Glazer name dropped

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Leonardo DiCaprio, as one does. At the twenty twenty six

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Golden Globes. Nicki Glazer said, what a career, Leonardo DiCaprio

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has had countless iconic performances, You've worked with every great director,

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You've won three Golden Globes and an Oscar And the

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most impressive thing is you were able to accomplish all

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this before your girlfriend thirty, which is a fantastic joke. Well,

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we learn that Nicki Glazer sent Leo flowers. She told

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Jimmy Fallon after I do it a joke. I always

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send flowers to everyone that it made fun of. That

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was a good sport about it, which shows everybody just

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to say thank you, because it's part of why I'm

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successful at it. The only person who sent something back

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to me was Leonardo DiCaprio. He sent me three baskets

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of pasta as a thank you. So funny, so good,

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and part of me was like, does Leo want to smash?

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Which is discheeing up a joke, because no, Nikki, you're

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over thirty. Conan O'Brien started joking about returning to NBC.

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Conan was kind of goofing around with the idea that

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CBS is selling Stephen Colbeer's soon to be former timeslot

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off to the highest bidder. Conan said, well, wait a minute,

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you're saying I could go back to NBC. They'd probably

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let me go on at like three in the morning

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if I bought the time. His producer Jeff said, nif that,

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and ConA said, okay, four in the morning, I could

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give the Farm Report. Can my production company by the

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four o'clock time slot on NBC and create her own

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show and sell all that sweet advertising money that would

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be coming in at four am. Conan took that a

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little further and said, I think I'd be great in daytime.

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I think housewives would love me. Now, this is interesting,

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His producer said, Conan had that opportunity. Ross reminded Conan

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before we went to TBS, we took a meeting with

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these guys at Debmore Mercury and they wanted to do

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a daytime show. When we learned that Debmore Mercury's past

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and present daytime TV titles include The Wendy Williams Show

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and Sherry, Conan said, I'd be so lovable and fun

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as a daytime talk show host. A different producer said,

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as you've aged, your audience has stayed very young. You

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have a very young, mobile, digital first audience. Conan said,

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how dare you tell me of aged? This makes me

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want to shut down the podcast on the HBO Travel

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Show immediately because I'm very reactive. I'm launching a daytime

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talk show. This is hilarious. God, it said, It's syndicated,

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and yes it'll do terribly, but we get to own

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how terribly it does. I'd kind of love to see that,

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wouldn't you. A late night er spoke to Jeff Ross

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on the side. Ross confirms that the previously unreported meeting

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did indeed happened. The pitch would have been for Conan

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to host a thirty minute syndicated show. So it's been

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coming up on the show lately, the topic of bombing boy.

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Listen to this. This is from CNN's America Laughs with

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Matt Friend. Dude, America did not Laugh with Matt Friend.

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In the Facebook group, Jeff and I were going back

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and forth wondering if this was an example of the

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crowd being micd or not. And I've gone back and

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I've listened. The crowd is miked. Here off this first joke,

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you will hear a laugh. It will be the last

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laugh that you hear. And I also suspect, just having

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been in studios for thirty years, I think maybe perhaps

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possibly that's a producer laughing extra loud to goose the room.

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I've done that personally, I've clapped extra loud to gooser room,

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and I think that's what's going on here. But here,

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please suffer with me as we listen to America does

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not laugh with Matt Friend from CNNA political comedy special,

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Who boy listen to this?

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Speaker 3: I am gen Z. We cannot go to war. I

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look like if Pickleball was a person. Okay, I look

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like the youngest Kushner brother. I look like I'm in

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a business club with Baron Trump at NYU. I am

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not equipped for battle. I had an anaphylactic food allergy

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as a kid. What am I supposed to fight with

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my EpiPen like? I'm not afraid of a grenade. I'm

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afraid of cross contamination. Not a terrorist but a loaf

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of bread. We have no iconic Americans to send to

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war either, gen Z, Like previous generations sent Elvis Presley

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and Clint Eastwood to war. But who do we have?

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Benson Boone and Timothy Shallomey backflipping and Iran? My generation,

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every moment is an opportunity for content, Like we would

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do a fit check at the battle when it starts.

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I'd get there. Hey, guys, just got to Iran. Check

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it out. Custom camera pants Dara, Yes, bullet proof vests,

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thrifted boots from Sheen. It's giving dystopian sleigh. Yes, we

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would find out we're drafted through an Instagram reel or

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a TikTok like I'd be naked on my couch doom scrolling.

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Nothing beats a jet too, holiday, You're going to war

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next week? What is happening right now?

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Speaker 2: Yikes? Okay, now, how can we dust this off? Do

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you have anything actually funny? John I do? Mass Live

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noticed that Matteo Lane had posted on Facebook now here

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Matteo Lane is saying mean things about Springfield, Massachusetts. Mass

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Live tells us that the references here are to the

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Roorer Comedy Club at MGM Springfield, where Matteo Lane performed

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for four nights back in twenty nineteen. Check your calendar. Apparently,

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the Rorer Comedy Club is a refurbished armory inside the

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Casinos Plaza. This is the opposite of mad friend. This

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is funny. I did make an edit here to eliminate

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a word that rhymes with maggot.

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Speaker 1: The worst place I ever perform is anyone from Springfield, Massachusetts. Okay,

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let's talk. So the people are trashed, the town is trashed,

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the food is trashed, the cars are trashed. When the

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clouds move over, the town. They become trash and I

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was forced to work in this weird castle they converted

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into a comedy show. It was also, by the way,

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all castles are gay. Nope, am I wrong? Their castles

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are gay. No, straight guys like I want to tolerate

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that is a gay thing. And I love castles as

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a kid. I like a lot of books on castles,

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and they're gay. It's like Modes Wizard's Secrets. So anyway,

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there I am at medieval times and I'm just remember

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medieval times like, oh God, like I get okay, so

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I know. So anyway, there I was, and I was

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first of all, there was like sixty people in the audience.

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There was in huge rooms like just echoey and terrible,

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and I was gonna bomb and no one kneho I was.

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So I did my stupid joke right the like mateial

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Lane and I walk out. I'm like, hi, thanks so much.

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I'm obviously gay. And then this guy just stood up

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and went nope and walked out. I know, which is

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fine if you want to be there, that's fine. But

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the whole time I was on stage, I just kept

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thinking myself, I'm like, what did you think I was?

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Going to do for a whole hour. It's just thanks

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so much and obviously gay.

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Speaker 2: Close the doors. Mass Live MGM Springfield declined to comment

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on the video. According to mass Live, they also tell

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us Springfield Mayor Dominic Sarno did not respond to a

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request for comment about Mateo Lane not enjoying his four

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nights in Springfield. Back in twenty nineteen, some people in

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the industry are talking about this email that we got

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kind of late on Friday from the Netflix. Is a

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Joe Comedy Festival. The big banner says every comedy in

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every corner of LA. Claim free tickets to seventy five

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plus comedy pop ups across Los Angeles. Tickets are limited

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Reserver spot today and from the conversation I'm seeing on reads,

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these seem to be well known Los Angeles local scene

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shows and there are a lot of them. For example,

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Poncho's Comedy Night with It Dan o' carter. If you

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want to claim tickets for the free event, that free

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event is May fourth at eight point thirty Boy John

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Lovettz Love It or Leave It from Crooked Media. May

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fifth at five o'clock. That has tickets available. The Two

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Bears five K Thoms, the Goren Bird Krascher's thing at

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the Rose Bowl. I can just claim tickets and join

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that five K. Dimitri Martin is also a painter at

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the Fairfax Art Gallery. You can claim tickets to that,

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and then there's a big and so many more sections.

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So not sure what's going on here. Some people are

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suggesting that maybe Netflix just wants to take over the

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city for a little bit. Now, this particular story you're

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hearing right now, I'm recording on Saturday morning. I've previously

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shared with you the Deadline noticed that tickets weren't going well.

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Here's a random show Shane Gillison friends at the Hollywood

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Bowl on Mayson. That seems like that could be cool, right,

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let me pop on here. Yep, I'm on ticketmaster dot com.

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If you want to sit in section five, Row ninety,

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standard ticket fifty nine thirty and there appears to be

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a lot of tickets available for Shane gillis not picking

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on him, just Deadline had put this on my radar.

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Let's see if he wanted to see Dusty Sleigh at

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the Troubadoor just for a random show to click on.

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That one is sold out, all right, Let's pick one

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more random show. I want to say how my Flight

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of the Concords are doing. Sold out at the Greek Theater.

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I wonder how that's doing on the secondary market. Two

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shows May ninth and tenth, both sold out. Now this

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is interesting. Now, remember I had told you tickets were

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six hundred and ten dollars, and I've been making a

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big deal about that. Now I'm on sea geek here

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and I can get into Flight of the Concords. It'd

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be sitting all the way in the back, but I

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can get in for ninety four dollars, so not six

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hundred and ten. There are There is a six hundred

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and seven dollars ticket available front and center. But you

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could get into this thing for buck twenty five if

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you wanted to row double e two tickets for one

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hundred and twenty seven dollars including fees from Defector just

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a wonderful headline. The headline is a Rob Schneider comedy show.

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Maybe long and expensive, but at least it's boring. Let's

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unpack this. This was one of my favorite things. I

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tried to get this in over the weekend, but it

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was pretty busy. I've had this as the lead story

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in episodes, but let's do this here. This is fun,

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Defector Rights. On the afternoon of April ninth, twenty twenty six,

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partisans of the Alberta Separatist Movement scored a major endorsement.

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Rob Schneider posted on Twitter. I officially recognized the new

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independent nation of Alberta and its separation from the People's

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Republic of Canada and the socialist morons in Ottawa, Okay.

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Defector Rights time has not been particularly kind to Schneider's

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brand of catchphrase comedy. Like a lot of ostensible celebrities

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in Trump Land, Schneider has become more valuable for his

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political alignment than anything to do with his work. He's

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like if kid Rock were funny, except he's also not

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really that funny, Defector Rights. You got the feeling that

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people tend to like them material because they aligned with

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the guy. So it makes sense that a Rob Schneider

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comedy concert would also feel like more of a political

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event than a cultural one. I love this, Defector, writes Rivers.

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Casino in Philadelphia is pretty close to my house, where

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further away I might have hesitated to go see Schneider perform,

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but my wife was out of town, and I had

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accrude enough of the casino's rush rewards points to earn

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a free slice of pizza and a bottle of beer,

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So what the hell? The gig drew a mostly white,

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mostly male, mostly middle aged crowd myself included lots of

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guys wearing golf bolos woven in a range of moisture

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wicking synthetics. One man sported the rare double wallet chain,

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and more than a few with air jails spiking up

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the last whists of gray hair, clinging to the front

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of their domes, wearing sunglasses wrapped around the back of

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their heads in case it suddenly got super sonny. At

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eight pm in April in Philadelphia, Indoors Schneider took the

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stage in a black fedora and a shimmering olive green

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suit and saluted the freest country in the world, the

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United States of America. Defector tells us. Freedom in this

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case was expressed with a battery of half form rip,

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touching on stock stereotypes and some fresh racial prejudices. Fans

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of voice comedy were treated to all the hits Mexican voice,

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old black lady voice, Japanese man voice, Vietnamese manicurist voice,

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Southeast Asian or East Indian voice, and of course everyone's

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favorite gay guye voice. There were or slurs, f slurs,

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dusty jokes about tipping. There was nothing about Alberta separatism.

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The worst Obama impression I've ever heard was followed and

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turned by the worst Trump impression I've ever heard. Greg

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Gutfeld's name raised cheers. Robert de Niros Drew Booze. To

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be fair, the defector guy says, I did laugh precisely twice,

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once at a joke about single use straws, which Snyder

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pointed out are not actually single use. You can drink

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from them and they could choke a turtle to death. Okay, no,

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not bad. Rob definitely told it better. And a second time,

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when a long boring bit about self service Korean barbecue

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restaurants paid off with a punchline about a Korean whorehouse.

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His words were reminded where the client tell are invited

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to do some things to themselves. Still, a pair of

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chuckles is a pretty pitiable hit rate for a show

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that's stretched to an eternity like ninety minutes. As some

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of the audience petered out, others carried on full volume

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conversations and some seem to actually nod off. David Cross

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says he's not gonna appear in anymore Alvin of the

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Chipmunks movies. David Cross has appeared in the first three

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live action Alvin in the Chipmunks films from twenty seven

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to twenty eleven. So I don't know if there's another

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one coming. It's been fifteen years. You never know. They

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could reboot it. But anyway, David Cross isn't going to

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be part of this. In a new interview, he said

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I would never work with any of those people again

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for the rest of my life. They were just so

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awful to me. I don't know what the deal was,

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but right for the beginning, I was in London because

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we've been asking for a year, like, am I going

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to be another movie? Because they knew they were going

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to do a third one? Am I going to be

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in it? I was in pre production for a show

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Todd Margaret, and I'm there with my now wife and

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basically living there. We're writing when in pre production fifty

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to seventy five people depended on me and the show's

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going for their jobs, and we asked and asked nast.

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We don't no, no, we're not sure. It could be

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maybe we don't know. My phone rang I know that's

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my manager, my agent, my lawyer, and this is only

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going to be really good news, really bad news. There's

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nothing in between. My manager goes, hey, you sitting down.

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They're gonna use you in the third Chipmunks movie. They

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need you to get on a plane on January third.

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This is around Christmas. What that's in a couple of days.

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It was just crazy. They were doing like crappy things

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on purpose. Out today on the eight hundred Pound Gorilla,

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Lisa Lau she'll have her debut special, Silky Smooth. It's

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available for exclusive early access on the Gorilla Silky Smooth,

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Lisa explores the chaotic stages of adulthood, scheduling fun plans

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with tired friends, the unfair treatment of single people, being

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attracted to silly men, and the fear of being a

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role model to her pretend children. Emil Joachim, remember he

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was on SNL. I kind of didn't realize he wasn't

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on SNL anymore until I saw this article. He got

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a Netflix special. They're gonna tape in October. Premiere date

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to be announced. He will also be the Netflix as

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a Joke comedy coming up very soon from Axios, your

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home for comedy news. A new Portland dating show uses

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dogs to make matches. I kind of hit the word

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dogs there the way Norm McDonald would have. All Right,

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here's how this works. If you're a Portlander who is

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romantically and emotionally available and you have a friendly dog,

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you can audition for about twenty slots at Migration Brewery

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at the end of May. Comedian Andy Mann says she

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is screening out psychos. Here's how it's going to work.

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You're all gonna go to a farm later this summer

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and all the dogs will be released at once. Matches

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are made based on which dogs play and naturally vibe together.

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Six people will be chosen to go on film dates,

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plus you'll go under a makeover. Main said the dates

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aren't necessarily meant to spark romantic love. It's just two

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people who are meeting because their dogs brought them together.

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If any long term relationships come from it, that's awesome.

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And you're watching the Kevin Hart funny af thing? Is

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that what it's called? John? You hosts the show. I

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don't know Kevin Hart comedy competition thing Netflix. Wabe caught

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up with Daniel and Delano, who's one of the contestants.

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Daniel describes his own comedy as honest, sometimes too honest,

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conversational style. There's so many great comedians in Atlanta, and

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for them to pick me, I thought it was really cool.

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It was an honor. He taped his set for Funny

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af in Chicago. He said, it was my first time

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in Chicago. It was cool seeing Kevin Hart there. It

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was just a really fun experience. I'm doing this because

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I enjoy what I like to do. I enjoy putting

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this out into the world. That's why you create what

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you create, and that he's your comedy news for today.

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I'll see tomorrow.