Speaker 1: Callaroga Shark Media.
Speaker 2: Hey there, I'm Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news
and daily briefing on stand up comedy, comedians and the
comedy industry. A sentence the Algorithm loves. I've been having
fun doing the show lately. I mean, I always enjoy
doing the show, but I feel like different names have
been coming up, except for me talking about Nicki Glazer
every day. But you know, like yesterday, I had just
like different people in the mix. That always freshens it
up for even me. But let's talk about Nicki Glazer.
She was on the Tonight show because of course she
was her PR team getting it done, the agent's getting
it done America saying we're done. I think, I don't know,
kind of getting that vibe anyway. Nicki Glazer name dropped
Leonardo DiCaprio, as one does. At the twenty twenty six
Golden Globes. Nicki Glazer said, what a career, Leonardo DiCaprio
has had countless iconic performances, You've worked with every great director,
You've won three Golden Globes and an Oscar And the
most impressive thing is you were able to accomplish all
this before your girlfriend thirty, which is a fantastic joke. Well,
we learn that Nicki Glazer sent Leo flowers. She told
Jimmy Fallon after I do it a joke. I always
send flowers to everyone that it made fun of. That
was a good sport about it, which shows everybody just
to say thank you, because it's part of why I'm
successful at it. The only person who sent something back
to me was Leonardo DiCaprio. He sent me three baskets
of pasta as a thank you. So funny, so good,
and part of me was like, does Leo want to smash?
Which is discheeing up a joke, because no, Nikki, you're
over thirty. Conan O'Brien started joking about returning to NBC.
Conan was kind of goofing around with the idea that
CBS is selling Stephen Colbeer's soon to be former timeslot
off to the highest bidder. Conan said, well, wait a minute,
you're saying I could go back to NBC. They'd probably
let me go on at like three in the morning
if I bought the time. His producer Jeff said, nif that,
and ConA said, okay, four in the morning, I could
give the Farm Report. Can my production company by the
four o'clock time slot on NBC and create her own
show and sell all that sweet advertising money that would
be coming in at four am. Conan took that a
little further and said, I think I'd be great in daytime.
I think housewives would love me. Now, this is interesting,
His producer said, Conan had that opportunity. Ross reminded Conan
before we went to TBS, we took a meeting with
these guys at Debmore Mercury and they wanted to do
a daytime show. When we learned that Debmore Mercury's past
and present daytime TV titles include The Wendy Williams Show
and Sherry, Conan said, I'd be so lovable and fun
as a daytime talk show host. A different producer said,
as you've aged, your audience has stayed very young. You
have a very young, mobile, digital first audience. Conan said,
how dare you tell me of aged? This makes me
want to shut down the podcast on the HBO Travel
Show immediately because I'm very reactive. I'm launching a daytime
talk show. This is hilarious. God, it said, It's syndicated,
and yes it'll do terribly, but we get to own
how terribly it does. I'd kind of love to see that,
wouldn't you. A late night er spoke to Jeff Ross
on the side. Ross confirms that the previously unreported meeting
did indeed happened. The pitch would have been for Conan
to host a thirty minute syndicated show. So it's been
coming up on the show lately, the topic of bombing boy.
Listen to this. This is from CNN's America Laughs with
Matt Friend. Dude, America did not Laugh with Matt Friend.
In the Facebook group, Jeff and I were going back
and forth wondering if this was an example of the
crowd being micd or not. And I've gone back and
I've listened. The crowd is miked. Here off this first joke,
you will hear a laugh. It will be the last
laugh that you hear. And I also suspect, just having
been in studios for thirty years, I think maybe perhaps
possibly that's a producer laughing extra loud to goose the room.
I've done that personally, I've clapped extra loud to gooser room,
and I think that's what's going on here. But here,
please suffer with me as we listen to America does
not laugh with Matt Friend from CNNA political comedy special,
Who boy listen to this?
Speaker 3: I am gen Z. We cannot go to war. I
look like if Pickleball was a person. Okay, I look
like the youngest Kushner brother. I look like I'm in
a business club with Baron Trump at NYU. I am
not equipped for battle. I had an anaphylactic food allergy
as a kid. What am I supposed to fight with
my EpiPen like? I'm not afraid of a grenade. I'm
afraid of cross contamination. Not a terrorist but a loaf
of bread. We have no iconic Americans to send to
war either, gen Z, Like previous generations sent Elvis Presley
and Clint Eastwood to war. But who do we have?
Benson Boone and Timothy Shallomey backflipping and Iran? My generation,
every moment is an opportunity for content, Like we would
do a fit check at the battle when it starts.
I'd get there. Hey, guys, just got to Iran. Check
it out. Custom camera pants Dara, Yes, bullet proof vests,
thrifted boots from Sheen. It's giving dystopian sleigh. Yes, we
would find out we're drafted through an Instagram reel or
a TikTok like I'd be naked on my couch doom scrolling.
Nothing beats a jet too, holiday, You're going to war
next week? What is happening right now?
Speaker 2: Yikes? Okay, now, how can we dust this off? Do
you have anything actually funny? John I do? Mass Live
noticed that Matteo Lane had posted on Facebook now here
Matteo Lane is saying mean things about Springfield, Massachusetts. Mass
Live tells us that the references here are to the
Roorer Comedy Club at MGM Springfield, where Matteo Lane performed
for four nights back in twenty nineteen. Check your calendar. Apparently,
the Rorer Comedy Club is a refurbished armory inside the
Casinos Plaza. This is the opposite of mad friend. This
is funny. I did make an edit here to eliminate
a word that rhymes with maggot.
Speaker 1: The worst place I ever perform is anyone from Springfield, Massachusetts. Okay,
let's talk. So the people are trashed, the town is trashed,
the food is trashed, the cars are trashed. When the
clouds move over, the town. They become trash and I
was forced to work in this weird castle they converted
into a comedy show. It was also, by the way,
all castles are gay. Nope, am I wrong? Their castles
are gay. No, straight guys like I want to tolerate
that is a gay thing. And I love castles as
a kid. I like a lot of books on castles,
and they're gay. It's like Modes Wizard's Secrets. So anyway,
there I am at medieval times and I'm just remember
medieval times like, oh God, like I get okay, so
I know. So anyway, there I was, and I was
first of all, there was like sixty people in the audience.
There was in huge rooms like just echoey and terrible,
and I was gonna bomb and no one kneho I was.
So I did my stupid joke right the like mateial
Lane and I walk out. I'm like, hi, thanks so much.
I'm obviously gay. And then this guy just stood up
and went nope and walked out. I know, which is
fine if you want to be there, that's fine. But
the whole time I was on stage, I just kept
thinking myself, I'm like, what did you think I was?
Going to do for a whole hour. It's just thanks
so much and obviously gay.
Speaker 2: Close the doors. Mass Live MGM Springfield declined to comment
on the video. According to mass Live, they also tell
us Springfield Mayor Dominic Sarno did not respond to a
request for comment about Mateo Lane not enjoying his four
nights in Springfield. Back in twenty nineteen, some people in
the industry are talking about this email that we got
kind of late on Friday from the Netflix. Is a
Joe Comedy Festival. The big banner says every comedy in
every corner of LA. Claim free tickets to seventy five
plus comedy pop ups across Los Angeles. Tickets are limited
Reserver spot today and from the conversation I'm seeing on reads,
these seem to be well known Los Angeles local scene
shows and there are a lot of them. For example,
Poncho's Comedy Night with It Dan o' carter. If you
want to claim tickets for the free event, that free
event is May fourth at eight point thirty Boy John
Lovettz Love It or Leave It from Crooked Media. May
fifth at five o'clock. That has tickets available. The Two
Bears five K Thoms, the Goren Bird Krascher's thing at
the Rose Bowl. I can just claim tickets and join
that five K. Dimitri Martin is also a painter at
the Fairfax Art Gallery. You can claim tickets to that,
and then there's a big and so many more sections.
So not sure what's going on here. Some people are
suggesting that maybe Netflix just wants to take over the
city for a little bit. Now, this particular story you're
hearing right now, I'm recording on Saturday morning. I've previously
shared with you the Deadline noticed that tickets weren't going well.
Here's a random show Shane Gillison friends at the Hollywood
Bowl on Mayson. That seems like that could be cool, right,
let me pop on here. Yep, I'm on ticketmaster dot com.
If you want to sit in section five, Row ninety,
standard ticket fifty nine thirty and there appears to be
a lot of tickets available for Shane gillis not picking
on him, just Deadline had put this on my radar.
Let's see if he wanted to see Dusty Sleigh at
the Troubadoor just for a random show to click on.
That one is sold out, all right, Let's pick one
more random show. I want to say how my Flight
of the Concords are doing. Sold out at the Greek Theater.
I wonder how that's doing on the secondary market. Two
shows May ninth and tenth, both sold out. Now this
is interesting. Now, remember I had told you tickets were
six hundred and ten dollars, and I've been making a
big deal about that. Now I'm on sea geek here
and I can get into Flight of the Concords. It'd
be sitting all the way in the back, but I
can get in for ninety four dollars, so not six
hundred and ten. There are There is a six hundred
and seven dollars ticket available front and center. But you
could get into this thing for buck twenty five if
you wanted to row double e two tickets for one
hundred and twenty seven dollars including fees from Defector just
a wonderful headline. The headline is a Rob Schneider comedy show.
Maybe long and expensive, but at least it's boring. Let's
unpack this. This was one of my favorite things. I
tried to get this in over the weekend, but it
was pretty busy. I've had this as the lead story
in episodes, but let's do this here. This is fun,
Defector Rights. On the afternoon of April ninth, twenty twenty six,
partisans of the Alberta Separatist Movement scored a major endorsement.
Rob Schneider posted on Twitter. I officially recognized the new
independent nation of Alberta and its separation from the People's
Republic of Canada and the socialist morons in Ottawa, Okay.
Defector Rights time has not been particularly kind to Schneider's
brand of catchphrase comedy. Like a lot of ostensible celebrities
in Trump Land, Schneider has become more valuable for his
political alignment than anything to do with his work. He's
like if kid Rock were funny, except he's also not
really that funny, Defector Rights. You got the feeling that
people tend to like them material because they aligned with
the guy. So it makes sense that a Rob Schneider
comedy concert would also feel like more of a political
event than a cultural one. I love this, Defector, writes Rivers.
Casino in Philadelphia is pretty close to my house, where
further away I might have hesitated to go see Schneider perform,
but my wife was out of town, and I had
accrude enough of the casino's rush rewards points to earn
a free slice of pizza and a bottle of beer,
So what the hell? The gig drew a mostly white,
mostly male, mostly middle aged crowd myself included lots of
guys wearing golf bolos woven in a range of moisture
wicking synthetics. One man sported the rare double wallet chain,
and more than a few with air jails spiking up
the last whists of gray hair, clinging to the front
of their domes, wearing sunglasses wrapped around the back of
their heads in case it suddenly got super sonny. At
eight pm in April in Philadelphia, Indoors Schneider took the
stage in a black fedora and a shimmering olive green
suit and saluted the freest country in the world, the
United States of America. Defector tells us. Freedom in this
case was expressed with a battery of half form rip,
touching on stock stereotypes and some fresh racial prejudices. Fans
of voice comedy were treated to all the hits Mexican voice,
old black lady voice, Japanese man voice, Vietnamese manicurist voice,
Southeast Asian or East Indian voice, and of course everyone's
favorite gay guye voice. There were or slurs, f slurs,
dusty jokes about tipping. There was nothing about Alberta separatism.
The worst Obama impression I've ever heard was followed and
turned by the worst Trump impression I've ever heard. Greg
Gutfeld's name raised cheers. Robert de Niros Drew Booze. To
be fair, the defector guy says, I did laugh precisely twice,
once at a joke about single use straws, which Snyder
pointed out are not actually single use. You can drink
from them and they could choke a turtle to death. Okay, no,
not bad. Rob definitely told it better. And a second time,
when a long boring bit about self service Korean barbecue
restaurants paid off with a punchline about a Korean whorehouse.
His words were reminded where the client tell are invited
to do some things to themselves. Still, a pair of
chuckles is a pretty pitiable hit rate for a show
that's stretched to an eternity like ninety minutes. As some
of the audience petered out, others carried on full volume
conversations and some seem to actually nod off. David Cross
says he's not gonna appear in anymore Alvin of the
Chipmunks movies. David Cross has appeared in the first three
live action Alvin in the Chipmunks films from twenty seven
to twenty eleven. So I don't know if there's another
one coming. It's been fifteen years. You never know. They
could reboot it. But anyway, David Cross isn't going to
be part of this. In a new interview, he said
I would never work with any of those people again
for the rest of my life. They were just so
awful to me. I don't know what the deal was,
but right for the beginning, I was in London because
we've been asking for a year, like, am I going
to be another movie? Because they knew they were going
to do a third one? Am I going to be
in it? I was in pre production for a show
Todd Margaret, and I'm there with my now wife and
basically living there. We're writing when in pre production fifty
to seventy five people depended on me and the show's
going for their jobs, and we asked and asked nast.
We don't no, no, we're not sure. It could be
maybe we don't know. My phone rang I know that's
my manager, my agent, my lawyer, and this is only
going to be really good news, really bad news. There's
nothing in between. My manager goes, hey, you sitting down.
They're gonna use you in the third Chipmunks movie. They
need you to get on a plane on January third.
This is around Christmas. What that's in a couple of days.
It was just crazy. They were doing like crappy things
on purpose. Out today on the eight hundred Pound Gorilla,
Lisa Lau she'll have her debut special, Silky Smooth. It's
available for exclusive early access on the Gorilla Silky Smooth,
Lisa explores the chaotic stages of adulthood, scheduling fun plans
with tired friends, the unfair treatment of single people, being
attracted to silly men, and the fear of being a
role model to her pretend children. Emil Joachim, remember he
was on SNL. I kind of didn't realize he wasn't
on SNL anymore until I saw this article. He got
a Netflix special. They're gonna tape in October. Premiere date
to be announced. He will also be the Netflix as
a Joke comedy coming up very soon from Axios, your
home for comedy news. A new Portland dating show uses
dogs to make matches. I kind of hit the word
dogs there the way Norm McDonald would have. All Right,
here's how this works. If you're a Portlander who is
romantically and emotionally available and you have a friendly dog,
you can audition for about twenty slots at Migration Brewery
at the end of May. Comedian Andy Mann says she
is screening out psychos. Here's how it's going to work.
You're all gonna go to a farm later this summer
and all the dogs will be released at once. Matches
are made based on which dogs play and naturally vibe together.
Six people will be chosen to go on film dates,
plus you'll go under a makeover. Main said the dates
aren't necessarily meant to spark romantic love. It's just two
people who are meeting because their dogs brought them together.
If any long term relationships come from it, that's awesome.
And you're watching the Kevin Hart funny af thing? Is
that what it's called? John? You hosts the show. I
don't know Kevin Hart comedy competition thing Netflix. Wabe caught
up with Daniel and Delano, who's one of the contestants.
Daniel describes his own comedy as honest, sometimes too honest,
conversational style. There's so many great comedians in Atlanta, and
for them to pick me, I thought it was really cool.
It was an honor. He taped his set for Funny
af in Chicago. He said, it was my first time
in Chicago. It was cool seeing Kevin Hart there. It
was just a really fun experience. I'm doing this because
I enjoy what I like to do. I enjoy putting
this out into the world. That's why you create what
you create, and that he's your comedy news for today.
I'll see tomorrow.