WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:02.640 This is section forty two of The Gilded Age. This 2 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:06.839 LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, 3 00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:09.320 A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and Seedy Warner, 4 00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:14.759 Chapter forty two. Mister Buckstone's campaign was brief, much briefer 5 00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:17.920 than he supposed it would be. He began it proposing 6 00:00:17.960 --> 00:00:22.039 to win Laura without being one himself, But his experience 7 00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:24.359 was that of all who had fought on that field 8 00:00:24.399 --> 00:00:28.120 before him. He diligently continued his effort to win her, 9 00:00:28.640 --> 00:00:31.320 but he presently found that while as yet he could 10 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:34.600 not feel entirely certain of having won her, it was 11 00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:38.640 very manifest that she had won him. He had made 12 00:00:38.640 --> 00:00:41.640 an able fight, brief as it was, and that at 13 00:00:41.719 --> 00:00:44.679 least was to his credit. He was in good company. 14 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:49.240 Now he walked in a leash of conspicuous captives. These 15 00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:53.719 unfortunates followed Laura helplessly, for whenever she took a prisoner, 16 00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:59.280 he remained her slave. Henceforth, Sometimes they chafed in their bondage, 17 00:00:59.560 --> 00:01:04.200 sometimes they tore themselves free and said their serfdom was ended, 18 00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:08.640 But sooner or later they always came back, penitent and worshiping. 19 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:14.200 Laura pursued her usual course, she encouraged mister Buckstone by turns, 20 00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:17.719 and by turns she harassed him. She exalted him to 21 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:20.840 the clouds at one time, and at another she dragged 22 00:01:20.879 --> 00:01:24.879 him down again. She constituted him chief Champion of the 23 00:01:24.959 --> 00:01:29.519 Knobs University Bill, and he accepted the position, at first reluctantly, 24 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.079 but later as a valued means of serving her. He 25 00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:35.159 even came to look upon it as a piece of 26 00:01:35.239 --> 00:01:38.840 great good fortune, since it brought him into such frequent 27 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:43.000 contact with her. Through him, she learned that the honorable 28 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:46.239 mister Trollop was a bitter enemy of her bill. He 29 00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:49.159 urged her not to attempt to influence mister Trollop in 30 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:52.519 any way, and explained that whatever she might attempt in 31 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:55.959 that direction would surely be used against her and with 32 00:01:56.120 --> 00:02:00.480 damaging effect. She at first said she knew mister true 33 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:03.599 and was aware that he had a blank blank her 34 00:02:03.640 --> 00:02:07.120 private figure of speech for brother or son in law. 35 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:10.280 But mister Buckstone said that he was not able to 36 00:02:10.360 --> 00:02:13.719 conceive what so curious a phrase as blank blank might mean, 37 00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:16.400 and had no wish to pry into the matter since 38 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:20.919 it was probably private. He would nevertheless venture the blind 39 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:25.280 assertion that nothing would answer in this particular case, and 40 00:02:25.400 --> 00:02:29.319 during this particular session. But to be exceedingly wary and 41 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:33.039 keep clear away from mister Trollop. Any other course would 42 00:02:33.080 --> 00:02:37.479 be fatal. It seemed that nothing could be done. Laura 43 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:41.120 was seriously troubled. Everything was looking well, and yet it 44 00:02:41.159 --> 00:02:44.439 was plain that one vigorous and determined enemy might eventually 45 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:48.800 succeed in overthrowing all her plans. A suggestion came into 46 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:52.280 her mind presently, and she said, can't you fight against 47 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:56.639 his great pension bill and bring him to terms? Oh? Never. 48 00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:00.639 He and I are sworn brothers on that measure. We 49 00:03:00.680 --> 00:03:04.120 work in harness and our very loving I do everything 50 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:07.360 I possibly can for him there. But I work with 51 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:13.599 Might and Maine against his immigration bill as pertinaciously and vindictively, indeed, 52 00:03:13.639 --> 00:03:17.439 as he works against our university. We hate each other 53 00:03:17.479 --> 00:03:20.879 through half a conversation, and are all affection through the 54 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:24.719 other half. We understand each other. He is an admirable 55 00:03:24.759 --> 00:03:27.840 worker outside the capital. He will do more for the 56 00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:31.159 pension bill than any other man could do. I wish 57 00:03:31.199 --> 00:03:33.560 he would make the great speech on it which he 58 00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:36.400 wants to make, and then I would make another and 59 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:39.759 we would be safe well. If he wants to make 60 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:43.719 a great speech. Why doesn't he do it? Visitors interrupted 61 00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:47.080 the conversation and mister Buckstone took his leave. It was 62 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:49.560 not of the least moment to Laura that her question 63 00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:52.599 had not been answered, inasmuch as it concerned a thing 64 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:56.039 which did not interest her, and yet human being like 65 00:03:56.520 --> 00:04:00.840 she thought, she would have liked to know an opportunity occurring. Presently, 66 00:04:01.280 --> 00:04:03.800 she put the same question to another person and got 67 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:07.199 an answer that satisfied her. She pondered a good while 68 00:04:07.319 --> 00:04:09.919 that night after she had gone to bed, and when 69 00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:12.879 she finally turned over to go to sleep, she had 70 00:04:12.919 --> 00:04:16.040 thought out a new scheme. The next evening, at missus 71 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:20.279 Gloverson's party, she said to mister Buckstone, I want mister 72 00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:23.040 Trollop to make his great speech on the pension bill, 73 00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:27.240 do you but you remember I was interrupted and did 74 00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:30.120 not explain to you. Never mind, I know you must 75 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:33.680 make him make that speech. I very particularly desire it. 76 00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:37.399 Oh it is easy to say, make him do it? 77 00:04:37.759 --> 00:04:40.720 But how am I to make him? It is perfectly easy. 78 00:04:41.160 --> 00:04:43.600 I have thought it all out. She then went into 79 00:04:43.639 --> 00:04:47.959 the details at length. Mister Buckstone said, I see now 80 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:51.600 I can manage it. I am sure. Indeed I wonder 81 00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:54.480 he never thought of it himself. There are no end 82 00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:57.600 of precedence. But how is this going to benefit you 83 00:04:57.720 --> 00:05:01.040 after I have managed it? There is the mystery lies, 84 00:05:01.560 --> 00:05:04.160 but I will take care of that. It will benefit 85 00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:06.839 me a great deal. I only wish I could see 86 00:05:06.839 --> 00:05:10.120 how it is the oddest freak. You seem to go 87 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:12.759 the furthest around to get out a thing. But you 88 00:05:12.839 --> 00:05:16.399 are in earnest, aren't you. Yes, I am indeed very well. 89 00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:19.000 I will do it, But why not tell me how 90 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:21.560 you imagine it is going to help you? I will 91 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:24.600 by and by now there is nobody talking to him. 92 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:27.360 Go straight and do it. There's a good fellow. A 93 00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:29.759 moment or two later, the two sworn friends of the 94 00:05:29.800 --> 00:05:34.040 pension bill were talking together, earnestly and seemingly unconscious of 95 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:37.720 the moving throng about them. They talked an hour, and 96 00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:41.920 then mister Buckstone came back and said, he hardly fancied 97 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:43.920 it at first, but he fell in love with it 98 00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:47.000 after a bit. And we have made a compact too. 99 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:49.199 I am to keep his secret, and he is to 100 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:52.279 spare me in future when he gets ready to denounce 101 00:05:52.279 --> 00:05:55.480 the supporters of the University bill. And I can easily 102 00:05:55.480 --> 00:05:58.800 believe he will keep his word on this occasion. A 103 00:05:58.839 --> 00:06:02.279 fortnight elapsed, and the university bill had gathered to itself 104 00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:06.759 many friends. Meantime, Senator Dilworthy began to think the harvest 105 00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:10.519 was ripe. He conferred with Laura privately. She was able 106 00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:13.399 to tell him exactly how the House would vote. There 107 00:06:13.439 --> 00:06:16.959 was a majority, the bill would pass unless weak members 108 00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:20.480 got frightened at the last and deserted, a thing pretty 109 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:24.399 likely to occur. The Senator said, I wish we had 110 00:06:24.439 --> 00:06:28.000 one more good strong man now. Tralla ought to be 111 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.319 on our side, for he is a friend of the Negro, 112 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:34.120 but he is against us and is our bitterest opponent. 113 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:37.720 If he would simply vote no, but keep quiet and 114 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:41.319 not molest us, I would feel perfectly cheerful and content. 115 00:06:41.879 --> 00:06:44.199 But perhaps there is no use in thinking of that. 116 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:47.519 Why I laid a little plan for his benefit two 117 00:06:47.560 --> 00:06:50.879 weeks ago. I think he will be tractable. Maybe he 118 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:53.480 is to come here to night. Look out for him, 119 00:06:53.480 --> 00:06:57.600 my child. He means mischief. Sure it is said that 120 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:01.160 he claims to know of improper practice having been used 121 00:07:01.199 --> 00:07:03.680 in the interest of this bill, and he thinks he 122 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:06.160 sees a chance to make a great sensation when the 123 00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:10.759 bill comes up. Be wary, be very very careful, my dear, 124 00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:15.439 do your very ablest talking. Now. You can convince a 125 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:18.920 man of anything when you try. You must convince him 126 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:22.240 that if anything improper has been done, you at least 127 00:07:22.279 --> 00:07:25.079 are ignorant of it and sorry for it. And if 128 00:07:25.079 --> 00:07:27.959 you could only persuade him out of his hostility to 129 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:31.879 the bill too. But don't overdo the thing. Don't seem 130 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:35.639 too anxious, dear, I won't. I'll be ever so careful. 131 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:38.240 I'll talk as sweetly to him as if he were 132 00:07:38.279 --> 00:07:41.240 my own child. You may trust me, indeed you may. 133 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:45.279 The doorbell rang. That is the gentleman, now, said Laura. 134 00:07:45.560 --> 00:07:50.040 Senator Dilworthy retired to his study. Laura welcomed mister Trollop, 135 00:07:50.160 --> 00:07:53.800 a grave, carefully dressed, and very respectable looking man with 136 00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:58.079 a bald head, standing collar and old fashioned watch seals. 137 00:07:58.839 --> 00:08:01.519 Promptness is a virtue, mister Trollop, and I perceive that 138 00:08:01.639 --> 00:08:05.000 you have it. You are always prompt with me. I 139 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:08.439 always meet my engagements of every kind, Miss Hawkins. It 140 00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:11.040 is a quality which is rare in the world than 141 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:13.560 it has been. I believe, I wish to see you 142 00:08:13.680 --> 00:08:17.079 on business, mister Trollop, I judge, So what can I 143 00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:22.480 do for you? You know my bill, the Knobs University Bill. Ah, 144 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:25.399 I believe it is your bill. I had forgotten. Yes, 145 00:08:25.480 --> 00:08:28.439 I know the bill. Well, would you mind telling me 146 00:08:28.519 --> 00:08:32.120 your opinion of it? Indeed, since you seem to ask 147 00:08:32.200 --> 00:08:34.960 it without reserve, I am obliged to say that I 148 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:38.200 do not regard it favorably. I have not seen the 149 00:08:38.200 --> 00:08:42.480 bill itself, but from what I can hear it it well, 150 00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:46.440 it has a bad look about it. It speak it out, 151 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:51.759 never fear well it. They say it contemplates a fraud 152 00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:57.279 upon the government, well said Laura Tranquility. Well I say 153 00:08:57.679 --> 00:09:02.440 well too. Well, suppose it were a fraud, which I 154 00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:05.480 feel able to deny. Would it be the first one 155 00:09:06.519 --> 00:09:09.440 you take a body's breath away? Would you? Did you 156 00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:11.960 wish me to vote for it? Was that what you 157 00:09:12.039 --> 00:09:15.600 wanted to see me about? Your instinct is correct. I 158 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:18.360 did want you. I do want you to vote for it. 159 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:22.200 Vote for a for a measure which is generally believed 160 00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:25.360 to be at least questionable. I am afraid we cannot 161 00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:29.399 come to an understanding, Miss Hawkins. No, I'm afraid not 162 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:33.759 if you have resumed your principles. Mister Trollop. Did you 163 00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:36.799 send for me merely to insult me? It is time 164 00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:39.360 for me to take my leave, Miss Hawkins. No, wait 165 00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:42.279 a moment. Don't be offended at a trifle. Do not 166 00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:46.279 be offish and unsociable. The Steamship's subsidy bill was a 167 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:48.799 fraud on the government. You voted for it, mister Trollop, 168 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:51.480 though you always opposed the measure until after you had 169 00:09:51.480 --> 00:09:54.240 an interview one evening with a certain missus mac carter 170 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:58.120 at her house. She was my agent, she was acting 171 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:02.559 for me. Ah, that is right. Sit down again. You 172 00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:05.039 can be sociable easily enough if you have a mind 173 00:10:05.080 --> 00:10:09.399 to well. I am waiting. Have you nothing to say, 174 00:10:10.120 --> 00:10:13.600 Miss Hawkins. I voted for that bill because when I 175 00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:16.840 came to examine into it. Ah, yes, when you came 176 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:19.840 to examine into it. Well, I only want you to 177 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:23.639 examine into my bill. Mister Trollop. You would not sell 178 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:26.639 your vote on that subsidy bill, which was perfectly right, 179 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:29.440 but you accepted of some of the stock with the 180 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:31.879 understanding that it was to stand in your brother in 181 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:35.720 law's name. There is no pre I mean, this is 182 00:10:36.159 --> 00:10:41.320 utterly groundless, miss Hawkins. But the gentleman seemed somewhat uneasy. Nevertheless, 183 00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:45.840 well not entirely so. Perhaps I and a person whom 184 00:10:45.879 --> 00:10:48.480 we will call miss blank, never mind the real name, 185 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:51.200 were in a closet at your elbow all the time. 186 00:10:51.919 --> 00:10:55.200 Mister Trollop winced. Then he said, with dignity, Miss Hawkins, 187 00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:57.679 is it possible that you were capable of such a 188 00:10:57.720 --> 00:11:00.440 thing as that it was bad? I can fess that 189 00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:04.159 it was bad, almost as bad as selling one's vote 190 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:07.879 for But I forget. You did not sell your vote. 191 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:10.799 You only accepted a little trifle, a small token of 192 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:14.000 esteem for your brother in law. Oh, let us come 193 00:11:14.039 --> 00:11:16.320 out and be frank with each other. I know you, 194 00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:19.039 mister Trollop. I have met you on business three or 195 00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:22.759 four times, Drew. I never offered to corrupt your principles, 196 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:26.200 never hinted such a thing, but always when I had 197 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:30.240 finished sounding you, I manipulated through an agent. Let us 198 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:34.279 be frank. Where this comely desires of virtue before the public. 199 00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:37.360 It will count there, but here it is out of place. 200 00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:40.320 My dear sir By and By. There's going to be 201 00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:45.120 an investigation into that National Internal Improvement Director's relief measure 202 00:11:45.159 --> 00:11:47.759 of a few years ago, and you know very well 203 00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:50.080 that you will be a crippled man as likely as 204 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:53.559 not when it is completed. It cannot be shown that 205 00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:56.320 a man is a knave merely for owning that stock. 206 00:11:56.919 --> 00:11:59.799 I am not distressed about the National Improvement relief measure. 207 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:03.200 Oh indeed, I am not trying to distress you. I 208 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:06.200 only wished to make good my assertion that I knew you. 209 00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:10.240 Several of you, gentlemen, bought of that stock without paying 210 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:13.480 a penny down receive dividends from it. Think of the 211 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:17.279 happy idea of receiving dividends, and very large ones too, 212 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:20.559 from stock one hasn't paid for, And all the while, 213 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:23.759 your names never appeared in the transaction. If ever you 214 00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:26.519 took the stock at all, you took it in other 215 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:29.679 people's names. Now, you see, you had to know one 216 00:12:29.679 --> 00:12:32.919 of two things. Namely, you either knew that the idea 217 00:12:32.960 --> 00:12:36.000 of all this preposterous generosity was to bribe you into 218 00:12:36.039 --> 00:12:39.840 future legislative friendship, or you didn't know it. That is 219 00:12:39.879 --> 00:12:42.519 to say, you had to be either a knave or 220 00:12:42.759 --> 00:12:46.919 ah well, a fool. There was no middle ground. You 221 00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:50.799 are not a fool, mister Trollop, Miss Hawkins. You flatter me, 222 00:12:51.399 --> 00:12:54.360 But seriously, you do not forget that some of the 223 00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:57.080 best and purest men in Congress took that stock in 224 00:12:57.120 --> 00:13:01.759 that way, did Senator Blank? Well, no, I believe not. 225 00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:04.399 Of course you believe not. Do you suppose he was 226 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:08.399 ever approached on the subject. Perhaps not. If you had 227 00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:11.639 approached him, for instance, fortified with the fact that some 228 00:13:11.720 --> 00:13:14.279 of the best men in Congress and the purest et cetera, 229 00:13:14.279 --> 00:13:19.159 et cetera, what would have been the result, Well, what 230 00:13:19.320 --> 00:13:21.879 would have been the result? He would have shown you 231 00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:25.000 the door. For mister Blank is neither a knave nor 232 00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:27.679 a fool. There are other men in the Senate and 233 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:30.639 the House whom no one would have been hardy enough 234 00:13:30.639 --> 00:13:34.440 to approach with that relief stock in that peculiarly generous way. 235 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:36.879 But they are not of the class that you regard 236 00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:40.679 as the best and purest. No, I say, I know you, 237 00:13:40.759 --> 00:13:43.759 mister Trollop. That is to say, one may suggest a 238 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:46.440 thing to mister Trollop which it would not do to 239 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.399 suggest to mister Blank. Mister Trollop, you are pledged to 240 00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:54.919 support the indigent congressman's retroactive appropriation, which is to come 241 00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:57.840 up either in this or the next session. You do 242 00:13:57.919 --> 00:14:00.840 not deny that even in public. The man that will 243 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:04.240 vote for that bill will break the eighth Commandment in 244 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:07.399 any other way, sir, But he will not vote for 245 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:11.879 your corrupt measure. Nevertheless, madam, exclaimed mister Trollop, rising from 246 00:14:11.960 --> 00:14:15.639 his seat in passion. Ah, but he will sit down 247 00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:19.480 again and let me explain why. Oh come, don't behave 248 00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:23.600 so it is very unpleasant. Now be good, and you 249 00:14:23.639 --> 00:14:26.679 shall have the missing page of your great speech. Here 250 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:30.519 it is, and she displayed a sheet of manuscript. Mister 251 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:33.879 Trollop turned immediately back from the threshold. It might have 252 00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:37.200 been gladness that flashed into his face. It might have 253 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:40.039 been something else, but at any rate, there was much 254 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:44.600 astonishment mixed with it. Good, where did you get it? 255 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:47.840 Give it me now, there is no hurry. Sit down, 256 00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:51.279 Sit down and let us talk and be friendly. The 257 00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:55.639 gentleman wavered. Then he said, no, this is only a subterfuge. 258 00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:59.120 I will go. It is not the missing page. Laura 259 00:14:59.159 --> 00:15:01.279 tore off a couple of lines from the bottom of 260 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:05.000 the sheet. Now, she said, you will know whether this 261 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:08.919 is the handwriting or not. You know it is the handwriting. Now, 262 00:15:08.919 --> 00:15:11.679 if you will listen, you will know that this must 263 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:14.080 be the list of statistics which was to be the 264 00:15:14.200 --> 00:15:17.480 nub of your great effort and the accompanying blast, the 265 00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.480 beginning of the burst of eloquence, which was continued on 266 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:23.559 the next page. And you will recognize that there was 267 00:15:23.639 --> 00:15:27.559 where you broke down. She read the page. Mister Trollp said, 268 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:32.440 this is perfectly astounding. Still, what is all this to me? 269 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:36.200 It is nothing. It does not concern me. The speech 270 00:15:36.279 --> 00:15:39.679 is made, and there and end. I did break down 271 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:42.480 for a moment, and in a rather uncomfortable place, since 272 00:15:42.519 --> 00:15:45.320 I had led up to those statistics with some grandeur. 273 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:48.679 The hiatus was pleasanter to the house and the galleries 274 00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:51.120 than it was to me. But it is no matter 275 00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:55.039 now a week has passed. The jests about it ceased 276 00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:57.480 three or four days ago. The whole thing is a 277 00:15:57.480 --> 00:16:01.519 matter of indifference to me, Miss Hawkins. But you apologized 278 00:16:01.799 --> 00:16:05.080 and promised the statistics for next day. Why didn't you 279 00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:09.080 keep your promise? The matter was not of sufficient consequence. 280 00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:11.840 The time was gone by to produce an effect with them. 281 00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:14.679 But I hear that other friends of the soldier's pension 282 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:17.480 bill desire them very much. I think you ought to 283 00:16:17.559 --> 00:16:21.279 let them have them. Miss Hawkins, this silly blunder of 284 00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:24.360 my copyist evidently has more interest for you than it 285 00:16:24.440 --> 00:16:27.799 has for me. I will send my private secretary to 286 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:30.600 you and let him discuss the subject with you at length. 287 00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:34.200 Did he copy your speech for you? Of course he did. 288 00:16:34.559 --> 00:16:38.200 Why all these questions? Tell me? How did you get 289 00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:40.759 hold of that page of manuscript? That is the only 290 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:43.879 thing that stirs a passing interest in my mind. I'm 291 00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:46.960 coming to that, then, she said, much as if she 292 00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:50.399 were talking to herself. It does not seem like taking 293 00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:53.759 a deal of unnecessary pains for a body to hire 294 00:16:53.799 --> 00:16:56.440 another body to construct a great speech for him, and 295 00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:59.639 then go and get still another body to copy it 296 00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:02.679 before it can be read in the house, Miss Hawkins, 297 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:05.759 what do you mean by such talk as that? Why? 298 00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:08.200 I am sure I mean no harm, no harm to 299 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:11.200 anybody in the world. I am certain that I overheard 300 00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:14.799 the honorable mister Buckstone either promised to write your great 301 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:18.160 speech for you, or else get some other competent person 302 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:22.440 to do it. Well. This is perfectly absurd, madam, perfectly absurd. 303 00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:26.400 And mister Trollop affected a laugh of derision. Why the 304 00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:29.319 thing has occurred? Before. Now, I mean that I have 305 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:32.880 heard that congressmen have sometimes hired literary grubs to build 306 00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:36.359 speeches for them. Now, didn't I overhear a conversation like 307 00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:39.519 that I spoke of pshaw Why, of course you may 308 00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:43.559 have heard some such jesting nonsense. But would one be 309 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:46.960 in earnest about so farcical a thing. Well, if it 310 00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:49.599 was only a joke, why did you make a serious 311 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:52.240 matter of it? Why did you get the speech written 312 00:17:52.279 --> 00:17:54.599 for you and then read it in the house without 313 00:17:54.640 --> 00:17:58.799 ever having it copied. Mister Trollop did not laugh this time. 314 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:04.160 He seemediously perplexed. He said, come play out your jest, 315 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.519 Miss Hawkins. I can't understand what you are contriving, but 316 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:11.319 it seems to entertain you, So please go on. I will, 317 00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:13.599 I assure you, but I hope to make the matter 318 00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:20.200 entertaining to you too. Your private secretary never copied your speech. Indeed, really, 319 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:23.039 you seem to know my affairs better than I do myself. 320 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:27.039 I believe I do. You can't name your own amanuensis, 321 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:32.279 mister Trollop. That is sad. Indeed, perhaps miss Hawkins can, 322 00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:36.359 Yes I can. I wrote your speech myself, and you 323 00:18:36.440 --> 00:18:40.799 read it from my manuscript there. Now, mister Trollop did 324 00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:43.279 not spring to his feet and smite his brow with 325 00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:45.720 his hand, while a cold sweat broke out all over 326 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:49.319 him and the color forsook his face. No, he only 327 00:18:49.319 --> 00:18:55.279 said good God, and looked greatly astonished. Laura handed him 328 00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:58.079 her commonplace book and called his attention to the fact 329 00:18:58.119 --> 00:19:01.240 that the handwriting there and the handwriting of this speech 330 00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:04.839 were the same. He was shortly convinced. He laid the 331 00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:10.319 book aside and said, composedly, Well, the wonderful tragedy is done, 332 00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:13.039 and it transpires that I am indebted to you for 333 00:19:13.160 --> 00:19:17.039 my late eloquence. What of it? What was all this for? 334 00:19:17.079 --> 00:19:19.559 And what does it amount to? After all? What do 335 00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:22.920 you propose to do about it? Oh? Nothing, It is 336 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.319 only a bit of pleasantry. When I overheard that conversation, 337 00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:29.279 I took an early opportunity to ask mister Buckstone if 338 00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:32.039 he knew of anybody who might want a speech written. 339 00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:34.119 I had a friend, and so on and so on. 340 00:19:34.759 --> 00:19:37.279 I was the friend myself. I thought I might do 341 00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:39.640 you a good turn then, and depend on you to 342 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:42.359 do me one by and by. I never let mister 343 00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:45.319 Buckstone have the speech till the last moment, and when 344 00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:47.559 you hurried off to the house with it, you did 345 00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:50.279 not know there was a missing page, of course, but 346 00:19:50.400 --> 00:19:52.960 I did. And now perhaps you think that if I 347 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:57.319 refuse to support your bill, you will make a grand exposure. Well, 348 00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:00.160 I had not thought of that. I only kept back 349 00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:02.400 the page for the mere fun of the thing. But 350 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:05.079 since you mention it, I don't know, but I might 351 00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:08.519 do something if I were angry. My dear miss Hawkins, 352 00:20:08.920 --> 00:20:11.960 if you were to give out that you composed my speech, 353 00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:14.240 you know very well that people would say it was 354 00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:18.079 only your raillery, your fondness for putting a victim in 355 00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:21.319 the pillory and amusing the public at his expense. It 356 00:20:21.400 --> 00:20:24.240 is too flimsy, Miss Hawkins, for a person of your 357 00:20:24.359 --> 00:20:29.039 fine inventive talent contrive an abler device than that. Come. 358 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.960 It is easily done, mister Trollop. I will hire a 359 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:36.000 man and pin this page on his breast and label 360 00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:40.039 it the missing fragment of the Honorable mister Trollop's great speech. 361 00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:43.759 Which speech was written and composed by Miss Laura Hawkins 362 00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:47.400 under a secret understanding for one hundred dollars, and the 363 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:50.440 money has not been paid, And I will pin round 364 00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:53.720 about it notes in my handwriting, which I will procure 365 00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:57.000 from prominent friends of mine for the occasion. Also your 366 00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:59.839 printed speech in the Globe, showing the connection between it 367 00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:03.720 bracketed hiatus and my fragment. And I give you my 368 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:06.480 word of honor that I will stand that human bulletin 369 00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:09.119 board in the rotunda of the capital and make him 370 00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:13.200 stay there a week. You see you are premature, mister Trollop. 371 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:16.680 The wonderful tragedy is not done yet by any means. 372 00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:22.640 Come now, doesn't it improve? Mister Trollop opened his eyes 373 00:21:22.759 --> 00:21:26.000 rather widely at this novel aspect of the case. He 374 00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:28.400 got up and walked the floor and gave himself a 375 00:21:28.440 --> 00:21:32.440 moment for reflection. Then he stopped and studied Laura's face awhile, 376 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:37.440 and ended by saying, well, I am obliged to believe 377 00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:41.119 you would be reckless enough to do that. Then don't 378 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.200 put me to the test, mister Trollop. But let's drop 379 00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:47.400 the matter. I have had my joke, and you've borne 380 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:51.279 the infliction becomingly enough. It spoils a jest to harp 381 00:21:51.319 --> 00:21:53.799 on it after one has had one's laugh. I would 382 00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:56.920 much rather talk about my bill, so would I. Now 383 00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:02.200 my clandestine ammanuensis compaired with some other subjects. Even your 384 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:05.960 bill is a pleasant topic to discuss, very good. Indeed, 385 00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:09.160 I thought I could persuade you. Now I am sure 386 00:22:09.160 --> 00:22:11.400 you will be generous to the poor negro and vote 387 00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:15.160 for that bill. Yes, I feel more tenderly toward the 388 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:18.200 oppressed colored man than I did. Shall we bury the 389 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:21.559 hatchet and be good friends and respect each other's little secrets? 390 00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:24.599 On condition that I vote I on the measure with 391 00:22:24.839 --> 00:22:27.759 all my heart. Mister Trollop, I give you my word 392 00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:31.279 of that. It is a bargain. But isn't there something 393 00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:34.240 else you could give me too? Laura looked at him 394 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:38.799 inquiringly a moment, and then she comprehended, oh, yes, you 395 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:41.519 may have it now. I haven't any more use for it. 396 00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:44.960 She picked up the page of manuscript, but she reconsidered 397 00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:47.759 her intention of handing it to him, and said, but 398 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:51.200 never mind, I will keep it close. No one shall 399 00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:53.039 see it. You shall have it as soon as your 400 00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:57.440 vote is recorded. Mister Trollop looked disappointed, but presently made 401 00:22:57.480 --> 00:22:59.799