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Speaker 1: Hell on good morning everybody. How you doing?

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Speaker 2: I'm wow, this is Dave Cizara.

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Speaker 1: Dave, how are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I mean you're talking about a subject here

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that his long time coming. I mean we've waited how

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many decades to have something like this?

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Speaker 2: Probably all of them? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I often wondered about my own father. What

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would have happened if my dad would have won his

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court case and I would have gone his direction? Would

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I be a broadcaster of forty six years?

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Speaker 2: Most likely you'd be just as successful, if not more so?

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Speaker 1: Really, and what do you say more so?

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Speaker 2: Well, because studies have shown that dad single fathers are

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as effective at raising children as normal heterosexual couples. A normal, stable,

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functional family produces children as productive in society as a

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single father. So odds are you would have been just

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as good as you are today.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's amazing. That's amazing. The name of the book

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is Dad's Child Custody Action Plan. You really make us

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interactive with this book. You make us think you and

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to help plan things out. It's almost like doing a

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trust or a will. You're giving this that game plan.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's the goal, because dads go into court and

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they think they know what they're doing, and they say,

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I'm a great dad, and the judges heard that from

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every father. Ever, so dads have to go in and

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say something more because judge judges aren't getting enough information

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from the fathers. And so what I did was I

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created a book and an outline that says, here's what

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you need to tell the judge, here's how you get

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that information with my kid inventory. And when you do that,

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now you're ready to go argue for more time with

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your kids, which is what everybody really wants.

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Speaker 1: But isn't that the job of the lawyer to do

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that kind of stuff? I mean, shouldn't you be selling

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this directly to lawyers as well?

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, that's an interesting question because lawyers don't

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teach their clients how new and they need to do

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so when a client runs out of money, they've now

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spent ten twenty one hundred and two hundred thousand dollars,

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but they don't know what they're doing. And that's the

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problem for many dads is they run out of money

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because they're paying for their lawyer, mom's lawyer, they're paying

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child support, they may be paying for a supervised visit,

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they may be paying for anger management classes, batters, interventioning classes,

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parenting classes, co parenting classes. By the time they're done,

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there's nothing left to hire someone else, so they have

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to learn how to do it themselves. And that's why

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I wrote this book, because there's so many dads that

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can't afford a lawyer to do it for them.

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Speaker 1: So did you write this book because you went through this?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm a divorce lawyer for twenty seven years. I'm

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the most unusual champion for kids there is. I'm a single,

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gay man with not even a dog.

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Speaker 1: How do you get a judge to physically listen because

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even with my child support, that judge wanted nothing to

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do with me. Just pay your bill, buddy, and let's

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make it happen.

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Speaker 2: Well, usually those are two different courts. So you've got

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child support court is one, and they don't care about

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child custody. They just care about the dollars.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: You've got the child custody judge and they're supposed to

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care about what's in the child's best interest. That's the judge,

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So you need to get their attention. That's a judge.

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You got to say more than just I'm a great dat.

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You got to walk in and be like, I'm an

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awesome father. Here's forty three reasons why I'm an awesome father,

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And here's all the proof that backs up what I'm

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saying is true. Because Mom's gonna come in and say,

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now he's lying that bs, he's negligent. He doesn't know

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anything about the kids, he doesn't know their food allergies,

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he doesn't know other doctors, he doesn't know even other

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shoe sizes. It's always the shoe size for some reason.

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Speaker 1: So now when you bring that things like that up,

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I mean right away, you know the fathers do have

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to face the lies, the exaggerations. How do you keep

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that candy code and plastic bathroom mirror smile intact and

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you don't become frumpy in front of a judge.

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Speaker 2: Well, first off, you get ready for it. No, it's

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knowing it's gonna happen, Okay, So by being prepared, you're

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ready to hear it and not react to it. Two,

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as I tell dads, you need to get your anger

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worked out before you go into court. And whether that

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means you're in a man's group like my VIP program

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at DAS Law School dot com or you're working with

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the therapist, or you're working with the men's group through

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your church, what have where it is, get that anger

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worked out outside the courtroom, because you don't want to

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be angry in front of a judge. You want to

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be assertive. You want to be able to state your case.

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You want to be ready to say your honor. She's

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saying at every see anytime with the kids. But here

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are all the pictures of us doing things, here's all

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the receipts, here's the proof. And then what you've done

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is prove that you actually are active and engaged and

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be moms playing a little fast and loose with fact

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and judges don't like that.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like going to a judge judy show. I mean,

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I mean the way that you're saying, do your homework,

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do your prep, and go in there with confidence and courage.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly it. Because when dads go in with a

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prepared statement, when they know what the evidence is, when

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they're ready to go in and use the texts that

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they have that show that mom is withholding the kids

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and give them actually admitted as evidence, then a judge

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can rely on it. Then a judge can be looking

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at you and saying, you know what, sir, you are

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showing up. You are entitled more time with your child.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that you cover here because you

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know how guys they like to dress down. It's time

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to be a big boy and dress up, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Well, it is time to dress up. But we're not

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talking tucks and tails here. What we're talking is clean,

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pressed shirt, whether that's a button down, whether that's a

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professional polo going in just being who you are, but

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prepared and looking a little bit polished. You're not going

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to walk in with a radiold wife beater on and

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some flip flops. Don't do that. That's not showing respect

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for the court. But if you're a general worker who's

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got you know, Chino's, and just a regular professional polo,

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that's totally fine. So long this is clean.

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Speaker 1: Well, one of the things that I'm seeing there's an

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evolution going on right now. When you go to a

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grocery store, I'm starting to see a lot of fathers

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with their kids. My dad never took me to the

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grocery store, but I am so fascinated with how many

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fathers are teaching their kids how to use an ATM card,

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how to punch in the numbers, how to really be

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interactive with buying something as simple as groceries.

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Speaker 2: That's true because dads are pig dads are stepping up.

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You know, younger generations are looking at this and going,

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I didn't have enough time with my father. I want

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to be a father. I want more time with my kids,

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and I'm entitled to it because we're looking at as

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a society that is radically changing and we need to

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be ready for those changes and address them. And the

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court system is a little bit behind in that. The

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court system needs to be stepping it up, and the

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best way to do that is to have dads ready,

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being able to show why they're great dads and get

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a judge to agree with them.

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Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with David Pisara coming

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up next. These are very valuable things that you need

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to talk into your back pocket. Dad's child Custody Action

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Plan from David Pisara. What about leadership skills? I mean,

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we all think that dads are automatic, you know leaders,

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Oh man, they lead the household. They're good, they're good.

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But you know, I'm no real good person when it

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comes to fatherhood. I mean, I have two grandkids and

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I will still never call myself great.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's an interesting thing when you talk about leadership

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for fathers, because men generally know how to handle leadership,

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and they know how to set boundaries, and that's one

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of the biggest things they bring to parenting is setting

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boundaries and being exploratory in the world. Dad's bring a

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sense of enthusiasm and enjoyment to life that children really

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need because it engages their mind. And studies have shown

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that when a father is involved with a child and

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is out exploring and explaining and throwing the kid up

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in the air and having fun, putting a little bit

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of stable risk into an environment, it allows a child

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to become more adaptable. They do better in school, they

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have better vocabulary, they have less problems with authority, they're

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less likely to end up in the jail system, they're

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look likely to end up with drugs and subst abuse problems.

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Fathers are crucial to a child development.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, don't you think that we need to break that

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chain though when it comes to purchasing your child's attention

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and love, because I see that a lot too, where

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somebody's out there at the movie because dad makes it fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, I do. I do agree that you know, gaz

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should be not having to pay for access to their children.

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But one of the problems is is when they are

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having to pay for access to their kids, you know,

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they're that quote unquote Disneyland dad. They only get the weekends.

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They want to maximize their time. They want to maximize

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the amount of memories they have. Whereas if they had

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a fifty to fifty regular schedule and they had the

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regular downtime of okay times, do your bath, okay times,

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do laundry, okay time to do homework, the regular parenting time,

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it would be more equal and they'd be more motivated

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to do those things.

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Speaker 1: I am a show prep whore, in other words, I've

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got to show prep everything days in advance. So and

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I sit here and I read about how fathers don't

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get organized before they go into court. Why do we

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try to wing it all the time. There's no answers

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in winging it.

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Speaker 2: Well, that is certainly true statement, Particularly when it comes

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to court. You've got to know what you have because

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one important things when you're going into court is you

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may have three hundred text messages you can't filter through

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three hundred text messages and find the most important one

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when you've got fifteen minutes in front of a judge

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to make your case and you can't remember exactly where

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that one text message is that you're trying to use.

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That's why I tell dads you need to be able

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to sort through that stuff. Have cherry pick the ones

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you want to use. Be ready to use the evidence

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scripts that are in the back of my book to

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show how to get this piece of crucial evidence admitted

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by the judge the judge can rely on it. You

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need to have the script on how do you actually

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mark an identify and exhibit how to move it into

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evidence that the judge will rely upon it.

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Speaker 1: When you've been accused of being an absent dad and

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there you are in the courtroom with other dads that

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are going through the same thing. Boy, that is the

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most silent room on the planet.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, because they're all facing the same problems. Because they're

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all thinking they're going to go in say I'm a

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great dad. The Judge's going to give them their fifty

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percent custody and that's going to be enough. Every judge

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I've talked to has said it's not enough. Need more

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and more information from dads, because moms come in armed

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for bear. Moms come in with calendars and schedules and

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color coded yellow stickies all over a piece of paper,

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ready to prove that dad's negligent and never around, and

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dads aren't ready to fight that stuff to kind of lose.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Where can people go to find out more

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about you? And why aren't you hosting a podcast expressing

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these words?

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Speaker 2: Well, they can go to Dad's lawschool dot com and

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get my book and join our VIP program which teaches

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dads how to prepare for court. And my podcast is

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actually a development of my producers on me. He's like,

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you've got to get this thing done. We've watched the

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first one and now we've got a whole bunch of

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other work going on.

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Speaker 1: It requires work. I get it, But many this is

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information that all men could use.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely excellent.

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Speaker 1: Please come back to the show anytime in the future.

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The door is always going to be open for you. David.

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Speaker 2: Thanks, I appreciate it. Have a great day.

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Speaker 1: You'd be brilliant. Okay, bye bye,