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Speaker 1: So you're a successful YouTuber, and you're a nice young woman,

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and you're an intelligent young woman, and so one day

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you confess to something that you felt you had to do,

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something that's done every day in America, and then all

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of a sudden, everything changes and you are under attack

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from people who used to be your friends. And I

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want to talk with that Nicki Philippi, who's a new

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friend of mine through her dad, Dirk, and we will

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maybe even ask Dirk to come on set and take

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a bow. He's a very gifted speaker himself and musician.

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So we'll talk with Nicky about this. And this is

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with the help of Boer Capital Management, Know Your Risk

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Radio dot com, and of course, with God Almighty.

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Speaker 2: The Todd Herman Show is one hundred percent disapproved by

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big pharma technocrats and tyrants everywhere. Now from the high

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mountains of Free America. Here's the Emerald City exile God

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her Man.

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Speaker 1: Today is a day the Lord has made, and these

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are the times to which God has decided we shall live.

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And I'm joined it in studio by Nicky Philippie. I

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do shake hands if I guess if that's.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, my hand's all sweaty, but there we go.

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Speaker 1: Just keep me pro welcome. You had an incredible experience

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that most people will never know. Is first of all,

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you became a genuine, for real YouTube star.

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Speaker 3: I became a genuine, for real YouTuber. Yeah. I've been

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doing it for fourteen years at this point, and it,

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I mean, it changed my life. It changed my family's lives.

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I've loved it the whole time, but the last few

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years have been crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which, yeah, we'll talk about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I don't want to embarrass you, but your dad

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knows I said this. You remember this. The first time

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I met you was at a speech I gave in

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Corley and Idaho, and you came up and introduce yourself,

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your dad. You guys were you We are the same church.

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Do you remember the first thing I said to you?

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Speaker 3: I mean I didn't, but he shook my memory that

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you asked me like if I worked in entertainment?

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Speaker 1: Thing? Yeah, it was, yeah, what do you do in entertainment?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Right, And it was how you presented yourself and poise,

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et cetera. And I've seen your dad speak, and maybe

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this is something that he's passed on to you. But

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talk about the process. Of getting into YouTube how that happened,

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and then we'll get into this. The only thing I

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can describe it as an attack.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So first off, I'm really bad at like

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summarizing things. I'm going to try really hard, but I'm

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a YouTuber, so I tend to just like glaborate on

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and on and on, and then when it's like focus

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on just the important parts, it's like I don't know

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which part's important. It kind of all feels important. But yeah,

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I had. I started off doing more like traditional entertainment

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stuff in LA. I was working like indie films, commercials,

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lots of theme park stuff. The irony is, I don't

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know if I told you this when we talked last time.

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I think I did, but I'm not sure. When I

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used to drive to like my shows or being on

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set or whatever, I would listen to KFI AM six

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forty and so I would frequently listen to rush Limboss.

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I'm pretty confident that I had heard you back in

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the day at some point, because I listened every single

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I'm sure. So it's very kind of ironic, very full

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circle being here hanging out with you. But that's what

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I was doing first, and I had worked a job

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in Singapore with a theme park, came home because I

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had an injury, and when I came back, I was like,

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what am I going to do with my life? Like

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I can't dance anymore, I'm not really that great of

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an actress, Like I don't not a great singer. I

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don't know, And long story short, I ended up uploading

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to YouTube. It took me about six months. I kept uploading,

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taking down, uploading, taking down, feeling so embarrassed, and then

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I ended up uploading and just keeping it up and

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deciding not to tell anyone. I'm still gonna say anything.

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We'll see if anybody other than my parents watches my videos.

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Kept it up and kind of slowly over the next

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year or two, built my audience from there. Because I

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was in LA, I started meeting a bunch of other

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LA YouTubers, which this I mean fast forward. I think

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this is a big part of the reason why our

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whole cancelation became what it was is because from the

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beginning I was very plugged in with like the LA

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YouTube comunity, and I was lucky enough to be brought

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in and me all of these super talented people, a

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lot of them were not believers. We didn't share the

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same worldview, but that wasn't necessarily a problem for me.

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We bonded on a lot of the other creative things,

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you know, yeah, just like making content, and that's also

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a very different like it's a different thing being a creator.

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So there's even a bond in that too, like we

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know what we've been through, you know what I mean.

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So yeah, I just kept making videos over the next decade.

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I'm really trying to shorten here, because I could really

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go off into fourteen different directions. I started off basically

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making like beauty content. It's actually really funny. I'll back

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up the very first video I uploaded onto YouTube. I

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was so embarrassed that I opened it by being like, hey, guys,

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welcome back to my channel. Long time no see. Even

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that was my very first video on YouTube. I was

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just I was so humiliated, and I just kind of

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kept going. And so my channel really started off as

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like beauty lifestyle type stuff. The irony in that is

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not only did my mom say from the beginning, like

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like okay, yeah, you like the beauty thing. I kind

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of just liked it because of my background and entertainment,

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like having to get ready to go on stage on camera,

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but it's not like that was a passion of mine.

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And she's like, how much can you really talk about?

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Like what are you gonna run out of things to

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talk about? I was like, ah no, I'll just keep going,

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you know. And I had a good friend of mine

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at the time who actually just texted me the other

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day and was like telling me she was proud of me.

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But she was like, why don't you talk more about

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like political, social historical stuff. And I'm not saying this

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is true, I'm just quoting her. She was like, you're

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one of the most educated people I know on the topic,

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like this is what you love. And I'm like, no,

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that's not what I'm doing, which that also kind of

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ties into once we fast forward to all the cancelation stuff.

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But yeah, I just kind of kept doing beauty lifestyle

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stuff because my background was dancing and singing in musical

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theater as well. I was blessed enough in my journey

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to be able to make a lot of really cool music.

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I'm not one of those YouTubers that felt like above

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doing covers, like doing covers. I think other people have

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made a lot of really great music, and I got

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connected with some really talented musicians and producers in LA

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that did a really great job at what would be

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the word not re engineering, rearranging music in a way

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that we would take like these songs that I liked,

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and then we would make them kind of our own.

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So I put out a lot of really cool songs.

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My dad actually played on one of them. We did

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John Mayer in the Blood and it was really cool.

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And yeah, I was just kind of doing my thing

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over the years. I feel like that's probably the broadest

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picture I could give of the journey without getting too

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far into details.

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Speaker 1: So I've become a fan of your work, and that's

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not a phrase I use a lot because it means fanatic.

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So I appreciate your work. And one of the things

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you're very clever at doing is sort of I would

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describe as a soft open You're very skilled at talking

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with people, being conversational. That's hard when you are talking

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to a camera to provide the illusion that you're talking

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with people. Now through the years, and maybe you're the

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same way you feel an audience because you get to

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know them through comments and occasionally meet them at live events.

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I've noticed that about you and then came this time

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where you had to confess to something. And we do

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this sometimes my wife will say to me, I learned

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things about you and your show. I didn't know that

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happened to you, or I didn't know you felt that way.

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So I want to talk about the moment of the cancelation,

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how that happens, and then this discovery of well wait

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a minute, So this topic is the thing that makes

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me verbote, and we'll talk about this with Nikki Philippi.

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There is a topic that freaks people out. I get it,

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it really does. It's stem cells. People hear that, they go, no,

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I'm out because that's aboorded babies. I would not have

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anything to do with a business that had anything to

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do with the boarded babies. I didn't ever think I

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would fly to Mexico for healthcare. Why would I fly

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to a third world country for healthcare when we've got

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the greatest healthcare in the world up here. Well, I

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don't know your opinion, but certain events I've changed my

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estimation of American healthcare certain events, and I view it

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now much more as a two prong system to get

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you to take pills or get cut open. And when

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I had to run into this shoulder surgery and I

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wanted to recover more quickly. I went to Renew Healthcare.

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It's Renewed Dot Healthcare by the Way, Ue Dot Healthcare

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in port of O, out of Mexico, on the recommendation

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of a friend of mine who is a competitive masters swimmer,

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third in the world by the way master swimmer. He

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hurt his shoulder so bad that he couldn't move his

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arm above his head, let alone swim, and he went

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down to Renew and within weeks he was back to swimming.

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They put these ethically gathered stem cells into his arm

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fifty forty forty five million. They fought the inflammation, They

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rebuilt tissue. They can do this in your lower back.

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They can do this with neurological challenges. My shoulder recovered

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fifty times faster than my shoulder I didn't have the

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stem cells. And my buddy Boris ended up investing in

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that company. And he doesn't do that lightly. He's an

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investment professional. That wasn't a light decision he made. So

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I would look you in the eye, loook anyone else

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in the eye. If you've been told it's pills or

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surgery or just live with the pain Pause, good to

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renew dot Healthcare. Tell them or remember of the Todd

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Herman Show podcast Family or radio show Family. They will

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tell you if they can help you, and if they cannot,

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they'll be honest and they'll say, so sorry, we can't.

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It's renew dot Healthcare. Nicki Philippi's with me. So you

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have been running in the circles of entertainment, and I've

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run in those circles, not like you, but a little bit.

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I used to have a Microsoft checkbook that in Los Angeles,

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so I was super popular because I had fifty million dollars.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Right, So I got invited to all the white parties,

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to all the little white lines and all the beautiful

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mirrors and seeing some of that stuff.

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Speaker 3: Which, by the way, I'm excited to interview you on

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my podcast as well because I can't wait to hear

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all of your stuff in more detail hopefully.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, no, you'll get all the detail you want.

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You go, you get in front of the camera, and

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you talked about a heartbreaking decision you had to make.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So our dog Bowser, we had him for he

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was about ten and a half years old, and he

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had shown aggression before we had worked with a trainer

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in the past. He was just I mean, he was

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kind of an out of control dog in a lot

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of ways, and he had actually attempted to bite people

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a couple of times. There were just a few different

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things that had come up, and basically he bit our

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son in the face. And when that happened, and it

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happened in like a blink too, I mean, and you

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have to forgive me. I get nervous even rethinking it,

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not only just my stomach kind of shudders when I

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think about how grateful I am that my son was okay.

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Like all he was left with. He has like a

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little mark on his face and that's it. And I'm

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sure everyone is seen, especially in the last few years,

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which I don't think this is a coincidence, how many

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stories have come out of kids being either mauled to

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death or just having their face ripped off like it

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literally makes me shudder when I think about how grateful

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I am that my son was okay. But he bit

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our son in the face, and after that it was like, okay,

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stuff has happened, Multiple things have led up to this.

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We need to rehome him, and so we had reached

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out to an organization to talk about rehoming him, and

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they basically walked us through the fact that they're like,

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you cannot rehome this dog for a lot of different reasons,

240
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not only like do bite laws very state by state,

241
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but he had shown aggression before he was elderly, essentially

242
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like that breed of dog. He was in the chapter

243
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of his life where he was nearing the end anyways,

244
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and so I mean, once again trying to not go

245
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off in too many details, it was a hard phone call.

246
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It was really devastating. I've been with my husband for

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sixteen years. That was one of the few times I've

248
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ever seen him cry, was when they told us, like,

249
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you cannot rehome him. So we had to put Bowser

250
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down and we did it in our home with an anesthesiologist,

251
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if that's the term for it. And afterwards, I felt

252
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like I had to tell the internet, mostly because a

253
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lot of my videos over the years, you know, I

254
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do a variety of videos, Like I said, I've done

255
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beauty and lifestyle and music and this and that, and

256
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I've done a lot of logs, and so my audience

257
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that had really watched faithfully had seen from the very

258
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beginning when we first brought Bowser into our home, and

259
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it couldn't just be like, oh, Bowser's just non And

260
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I didn't want to lie, not only because I don't lie,

261
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but also because honestly, this is ironic. I thought, oh

262
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my gosh, if I changed the story and then someone's

263
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going to do some digging and then they're gonna find it,

264
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you know, it's gonna blow up in this whole thing.

265
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The best thing to do is to just tell the truth.

266
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And so we filmed a video just basically telling everyone

267
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what had happened, and after I put it up, we

268
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put up an Instagram post, you know, to say like, hey,

269
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this is what happened. I have a full video out

270
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of my YouTube channel. And it was within minutes like

271
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the post went completely viral. I actually ended up privating

272
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my Instagram about twenty four hours later because the post

273
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had like thirty thousand comments on it. It was insane,

274
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and we started getting death threats immediately. I mean that night,

275
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I remember I was getting texts and phone calls. The

276
00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:57,360
next morning when I woke up, I had texts with

277
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pictures of my house and my address, like we're coming

278
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,679
for you. You think you can hide you can't. Like

279
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,519
I had mentioned, I had become friends over the years

280
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with a lot of the LA creator community, which, like

281
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I alluded to earlier, I think that's a big reason

282
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this blew up, because a handful of those creators I

283
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,559
don't know if they had been waiting for me to

284
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,679
like fall or what, or maybe it really just in

285
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,039
their worldview, this was the last straw, but this is

286
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the thing that really set them off. So a lot

287
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of them made videos about us, and from their worldview,

288
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which I've learned a lot since that point that like, Okay,

289
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,440
this whole animal worship thing is a thing that runs

290
00:13:34,519 --> 00:13:37,240
rampant culture. It makes sense to me now. Could not

291
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,559
have foreseen it. Then we were completely blindsided. Like there

292
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were a lot of people that felt we did that

293
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,840
for views, And I'm thinking, like, man, I would take

294
00:13:44,879 --> 00:13:48,279
that back if I could. And in some ways, not

295
00:13:48,639 --> 00:13:50,919
like not the situation, not the fact that we put

296
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Bowser down, but just this idea of like doing something

297
00:13:54,279 --> 00:13:56,519
for views. It's like it was horrible. In a matter

298
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of two days, we had lost all of our sponsorships.

299
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Happened in March, I believe, and we had at that

300
00:14:04,759 --> 00:14:08,120
point sponsorships booked out through Christmas, and all of them,

301
00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:11,000
one by one just kept pulling because the mob, the

302
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,480
online mob, which that's a whole separate thing. I do

303
00:14:14,519 --> 00:14:17,559
think that the online mob is representative of culture in

304
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,759
some ways. On the other hand, my dad and I

305
00:14:19,799 --> 00:14:21,720
have talked about this a lot. I don't know how

306
00:14:21,759 --> 00:14:25,080
many of these online people are actually people. I think

307
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,039
that like if they paid people to show up to

308
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,120
protests back in the day, like, how much easier is

309
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,960
it for there to be bots to stick on people

310
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,360
who don't align with your agenda? And if I had

311
00:14:33,399 --> 00:14:37,080
learned one thing over the previous decade on YouTube was

312
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,320
that I did not necessarily align with the agenda of

313
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,080
YouTube corporate and a lot of these bigger corporate entities

314
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,799
that were involved in YouTube. So yeah, it just it

315
00:14:47,879 --> 00:14:51,000
exploded really fast. And when we first posted it, actually

316
00:14:52,039 --> 00:14:54,039
my manager had called me up and she was like,

317
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,840
you need to take that down, like you can honor

318
00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:58,600
his memory without saying what happened. And first off, I

319
00:14:58,639 --> 00:15:01,039
was like, well, it's already up. The internet doesn't forget,

320
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,320
which on a side note, people always ask us why

321
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,320
we still have this video up, and that's the reason

322
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,799
we still have it up. A the internet doesn't forget

323
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
what am I gonna do? Take it? It didn't happen,

324
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,440
But b I don't feel like we have anything to

325
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,600
be ashamed of. Like I said to you, if we

326
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:17,039
could go back, we've thought about it in circles over

327
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,320
and over and over. We would have done the exact

328
00:15:19,399 --> 00:15:22,840
same thing. Would we have necessarily told everyone? I don't

329
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,480
know about that, you know, I think that it was

330
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,840
supposed to play out this way. God's done a lot

331
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:28,960
in my heart and in my husband's heart through this.

332
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,720
It's been painful, but I think it's been necessary. But

333
00:15:32,759 --> 00:15:34,879
we wouldn't have changed, Like we still would have put

334
00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:37,799
Bowser down at that point. But yeah, she'd said that

335
00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:39,159
to me, I'm like, dude, I'm not going to take

336
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,759
this down. Like we've already told everyone, it's already loose.

337
00:15:43,799 --> 00:15:46,759
But we eventually we parted ways as well, so everything.

338
00:15:46,799 --> 00:15:48,480
We had five employees at the time, we had to

339
00:15:48,519 --> 00:15:51,320
let everyone go. It all changed in the matter of

340
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:55,080
like a week. It was really depressing. It was really scary.

341
00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:59,240
I think I cried from like honestly like four months,

342
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,559
like not to be true. Yeah, I get it, but

343
00:16:01,679 --> 00:16:03,519
I mean at that point I had already put in

344
00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:05,440
a decade of work into this. I had poured my

345
00:16:05,519 --> 00:16:10,159
heart and soul into YouTube and worked really hard alongside

346
00:16:10,159 --> 00:16:12,840
other people, and it was very hard for me to

347
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,559
wrap my brain around how doing something that I actually

348
00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:19,639
thought and still think was right could get me in

349
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,080
so much trouble and change things so radically, Like it

350
00:16:23,159 --> 00:16:25,039
kept feeling like not reality, Like I'm I going to

351
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,200
wake up? What the heck is this?

352
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,679
Speaker 1: There's an obvious comparison that people probably been making in

353
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,840
their minds in the podcast family Is that? Okay? If

354
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,559
you'd come on and said, hey, guys, you know, my

355
00:16:35,639 --> 00:16:38,159
husband and I have been together for sixteen years. We

356
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,480
actually they got pregnant. It's not a good time for us.

357
00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:41,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

358
00:16:41,159 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 1: So it made the really difficult decision of have an

359
00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:48,399
abortion nothing, you'd still have sponsors, et cetera. My daughter's

360
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,320
a vegan, so she'd hear your story and she'd be

361
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,399
one of those people who's outage.

362
00:16:51,399 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 3: I'll just tell you that, right and which, to be honest,

363
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,039
those are the only my husband gets mad when I

364
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,879
say this, but those are the only people whose anger

365
00:16:57,919 --> 00:16:59,840
I kind of respect because I'm like, well, at least

366
00:16:59,799 --> 00:17:01,240
you're really consistent.

367
00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,519
Speaker 1: Right, you don't eat me, but it's like if.

368
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,359
Speaker 3: You eat burgers like, I'm sorry, I don't. You're missing

369
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,240
the consistency here.

370
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,680
Speaker 1: Let me share with you just a quick story of

371
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,960
something happened to me, because you speak of the mob

372
00:17:12,039 --> 00:17:14,079
and I met the mob. I met the mob twice.

373
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,799
I mean, I've met the like Antifa types who've come

374
00:17:16,799 --> 00:17:20,599
to my studio in Seattle with the intention of intimidating

375
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,920
me and then when they found out, wait, you actually

376
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,000
do carry guns. Yeah, I remember when I said that

377
00:17:25,039 --> 00:17:27,079
on the show. But I'll tell you a story about

378
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:31,039
a lady, a lady who wished a painful death upon

379
00:17:31,079 --> 00:17:33,240
my little girl, who at the time was in kindergarten.

380
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,160
And I'll share this with you. In a second. We're

381
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:39,759
talking with Nikki Philipi. There's a link to her podcast, YouTube, vlogs,

382
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:43,000
et cetera. In the shows. Yeah, same thing. We'll tell

383
00:17:43,039 --> 00:17:45,960
the story, and I'll tell it because it was a lady.

384
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,880
I've confronted men. And there's a funny thing that happens

385
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,759
somehow in the world of talk radio. Male bullies get

386
00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:56,880
the opinion that all talk show hosts are really small,

387
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,799
wispy little dudes. So back when I was big and

388
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,079
could intimidate people with physical bulk and a walk outside

389
00:18:05,079 --> 00:18:06,599
and they look at you and they get this instant

390
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,559
step back of like, oh, oh gosh, you're not the

391
00:18:09,559 --> 00:18:10,680
little dude we thought you were.

392
00:18:10,759 --> 00:18:10,839
Speaker 3: No.

393
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 1: In fact, I grew up half redneck, and genetically I

394
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,880
am ninety eight point seven percent redneck, and I used

395
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,839
to break next. Now I'm a Disciplochristian. I don't do

396
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,720
that anymore, but I do like to maintain muscle mass

397
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,400
and male female. This is key for your life. You

398
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,680
need to do this, and I'll give you a hack.

399
00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:29,000
I only recently got a permission to talk about mass

400
00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:33,240
symes from Bioptimizers. This is a really powerful set of

401
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,839
digestive enzymes, so powerful that Birch International University died a

402
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,519
study people who used this product versus people who didn't.

403
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:45,160
And those poor suckers, those losers, I'm just kidding, bitter

404
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:49,079
clickers who refused to use mass symes. They got ripped

405
00:18:49,079 --> 00:18:51,200
off because of people who use mass symes got a

406
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,680
to a twelve hundred percent increase in amino acids in

407
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,480
their bodies. This is the building block of protein, which

408
00:18:58,519 --> 00:19:01,200
is the building block of muscle, and that can help

409
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,839
you sustain muscle through restrictive weight loss. And if you're aging,

410
00:19:05,039 --> 00:19:07,359
that's really really important to sustain muscle. If you're young,

411
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,240
you gotta be ripped. Everyone's ripped. You gotta be ripped.

412
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,759
Go to Boptimizers dot com slash todd to get ten

413
00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:16,960
percent off mass times and all their products. Stop letting

414
00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:19,720
bad digestion stop you from reaching your full potential. It's

415
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,920
Bopotmizers dot com slash todd. So I'll make this brief

416
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,359
because the interviews about you, I just will share this.

417
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,359
I met the mob this lady when I was the

418
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,039
chief Digital Strategy at the RNC. She found my email

419
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:38,079
dress she sent me this note and she said, oh no,

420
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:39,599
she did it on social media. That's what she did

421
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:45,279
on social media. I hope your daughter dies slowly of

422
00:19:45,319 --> 00:19:49,680
a really really painful disease like cancer, right kidding me? No,

423
00:19:49,759 --> 00:19:53,279
she said this. I just she said this, and I

424
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,559
use this tool. I can't remember the name of the

425
00:19:54,559 --> 00:19:57,599
two anymore. Where it was this incredible database. You took

426
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,319
someone's social media handle and that would find all their

427
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,559
email addresses. So I learned that she owned a jewelry

428
00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:09,359
store in Maryland. So that weekends my wife and daughter

429
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,160
and I drove out and my wife stayed in the car.

430
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,839
She didn't want to see this lady. And my daughter

431
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:19,319
and I went in. My daughter was kindergarten, blonde, blue eyed,

432
00:20:19,799 --> 00:20:22,880
very friendly little girl. She loved the shop and she

433
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,559
bought some trinkets. I bought them for her. And the

434
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,440
lady was so kind. You're oh, it's such a lovely girl,

435
00:20:28,599 --> 00:20:31,400
and stands oh so in need of your daddy to

436
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,559
buy this to you? And oh and honey, you go

437
00:20:34,599 --> 00:20:37,480
into the car with mom, And I said, you know,

438
00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:39,599
I'd love to be able to know when you have

439
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,200
specialists coming. Let me give you my business card.

440
00:20:43,319 --> 00:20:45,319
Speaker 3: Oh so she didn't even recognize you by your face.

441
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 1: No, she looked at my business card, taught herm in

442
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:55,839
chief Digital Strategy, Republican National Committee. You m hm, that's

443
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,279
the little girl you wish death upon. Wow, So why

444
00:20:58,319 --> 00:21:00,880
don't you come to the car with me? And why

445
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:05,400
don't you say it to her face? And she just shook,

446
00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:08,880
I mean shoulders shook. She started to tear up. I

447
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,119
am so sorry. I can't believe what politics does to me.

448
00:21:13,599 --> 00:21:17,000
I said, well, but she's right here. Well i'll give

449
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,200
your money back. No, no, wow, No, that's okay. I don't

450
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,759
want my money back. I bought that for my daughter.

451
00:21:21,799 --> 00:21:24,680
But why wouldn't you go say this? Because I don't

452
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:29,920
believe it. I am so sorry. This is a real

453
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,559
wake up call for me. I said, well, I'm glad,

454
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,400
that's why I came. I didn't think you meant it.

455
00:21:35,039 --> 00:21:36,640
I don't really think you meant it, but you know

456
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:41,240
they mean it at the time. Because I'm making you cry,

457
00:21:41,279 --> 00:21:41,880
I'm sorry that.

458
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 3: It's just incredible to me that, yeah.

459
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: Social media for many people, and I got addicted to this,

460
00:21:50,039 --> 00:21:53,680
the dopamine rush of owning the libs on Twitter. Oh

461
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:58,759
you know what I'm saying. Oh yeah, boom boom boom.

462
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,200
And it's very un And so I was thinking about

463
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,359
about the people I've burned and the old days of

464
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,079
talk ready to get off my phone, you idiot. And

465
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,839
I guess it was my chance to experience that a

466
00:22:10,839 --> 00:22:15,039
little bit, to experience that anger. But I have a

467
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:16,319
theory about you, and.

468
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 3: God, oh, let's hear the theory.

469
00:22:18,519 --> 00:22:23,039
Speaker 1: Well, let's hear first of all, how your approach to

470
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,039
doing your job has changed it all. If you've kind

471
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:29,839
of come back and started to make content again and

472
00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:32,160
I've left back and looked at some of your older work,

473
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:36,839
and I see that you are weaving in so well

474
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,240
to your content. A little topic on medical freedom here,

475
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,920
and you know, and you do it in a very

476
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,200
wise and YouTube safe way, but people know what you're saying,

477
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,319
a little food freedom here, and then even some mentions

478
00:22:52,319 --> 00:22:55,359
of your faith in Jesus just a little bit, and

479
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,079
you do it well enough that I think people can

480
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,119
take this as bits and pieces of something they'd want

481
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,799
to look at later, like, huh, she has this faith,

482
00:23:03,839 --> 00:23:06,519
maybe I should. So how did that change for you

483
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:08,000
when you started to come back into the world.

484
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 3: Well, it's interesting because you know, how you see yourself

485
00:23:11,279 --> 00:23:13,680
versus how other people see you as always just that

486
00:23:13,839 --> 00:23:17,240
very interesting because I feel like I've always kind of

487
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:19,400
had that in the mix. Like I used to kind

488
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,200
of joke. It wasn't really a joke, like I want

489
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,200
to be like a vitamin wrapped in chocolate, like I

490
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,359
want to you know, it's I want to have that.

491
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,200
I want to be like this this goodness out there,

492
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,680
but it's digestible whatever that means, which my view on

493
00:23:30,759 --> 00:23:33,480
that has even kind of changed. That's probably, I guess

494
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,519
to shorten the answer to your question, The biggest thing

495
00:23:35,519 --> 00:23:38,319
that has changed for me since going through all of

496
00:23:38,319 --> 00:23:41,839
this is realizing that I can't control how other people

497
00:23:41,839 --> 00:23:43,319
feel about me. So even if I want to be

498
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,559
a vitamin wrapped in chocolate, it's like someone might still think,

499
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,799
like I taste gross. You know that. It's like not,

500
00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:50,759
I can't control people's reactions.

501
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: An everlasting gobstopper though, so a gross.

502
00:23:54,839 --> 00:23:58,319
Speaker 3: I've never tried it ever, looks in colstalker.

503
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: Got what I don't know.

504
00:24:03,279 --> 00:24:07,079
Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever tried one, though. He was

505
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:07,480
a joke in that.

506
00:24:07,559 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 1: Okay, don't tell the kids.

507
00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 3: Yeah I'm not. I'm not that clued into yeah junk

508
00:24:13,759 --> 00:24:15,920
food stuff slash, haven't watched really won kin a minute

509
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:16,759
but got it out.

510
00:24:16,799 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, wait a minute, you're dead sitting her. Hey listen,

511
00:24:19,319 --> 00:24:23,519
I think you're a great father. But that's no, it's

512
00:24:23,519 --> 00:24:24,000
it's not.

513
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 3: It's not because I can watch movies over and over

514
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,839
and I don't. My husband gets mad at me because

515
00:24:29,839 --> 00:24:31,160
he's like, we just watched that. I'm like, but I

516
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:35,480
won't remember. I'm like, yeah, I'm paying attention to different

517
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,599
things and I forget. I miss like main points, like

518
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,000
the main candy in the movie apparently. Yeah, I've just

519
00:24:41,079 --> 00:24:44,200
realized that, like I can't control how people are going

520
00:24:44,279 --> 00:24:45,799
to take things, so I can try to be like

521
00:24:45,839 --> 00:24:47,319
as nice and as sweet as I will. And it's

522
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,680
not that I don't think that that's not a worthwhile endeavor.

523
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,240
You know, all these books like my parents did have

524
00:24:52,319 --> 00:24:53,759
me read growing up, you know, like how do one

525
00:24:53,759 --> 00:24:55,799
friends and influence people? It's like, I think those are

526
00:24:55,799 --> 00:24:59,279
worthwhile skills. But my opinion has changed in the sense that, like,

527
00:24:59,519 --> 00:25:03,640
I don't think that guarantees you anything. And ultimately, especially

528
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,359
in the view of like the Gospel and how God's

529
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,240
going to work through you and through stuff, sometimes it's

530
00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:10,000
just like, oh, well, you just got to say it,

531
00:25:10,079 --> 00:25:11,880
Like you're going to be too concerned about, like, oh,

532
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,480
hurting people. It's like sometimes you just got to say it.

533
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,640
So it's funny because I feel like I've become more

534
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:22,240
emboldened since the cancelation to just say things more upfront.

535
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,839
Versus my past content. It was more I feel like

536
00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:28,279
just like little drips here and there, Although I did

537
00:25:28,279 --> 00:25:30,440
have a channel called Asniki that was an advice channel,

538
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,799
and I was definitely more bold on that channel. But

539
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,079
I still I mean, this is me being bold now,

540
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,519
so if I'm still soft maybe compared to you. For me,

541
00:25:40,599 --> 00:25:41,640
it's all very bold.

542
00:25:42,319 --> 00:25:46,519
Speaker 1: Well, I think because of the time I spent initially

543
00:25:46,519 --> 00:25:48,799
in talk radio and what it was and how the

544
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,759
medium worked at that time, you know, bold was rewarded.

545
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,079
Maybe there's a gender difference. And I'm not really joking

546
00:25:55,079 --> 00:25:58,319
about growing up redneck. I mean one of our solutions

547
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,160
in junior high in high school was on me you

548
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,359
at the church, that's where the fist fights occurred.

549
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a native Angelina.

550
00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 1: Okay, so you guys did you did the drive by

551
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,720
shooting some stuff? Right? That's Nikki hanging out the door

552
00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:09,039
with the.

553
00:26:09,559 --> 00:26:12,279
Speaker 3: Oh like a suburban Angelina. Just mean like more of

554
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:16,279
like an atheistic society through paintballs, yeah, you know, just

555
00:26:16,279 --> 00:26:18,640
just different than the redneck meets you at church society.

556
00:26:19,279 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: There's advantages to that. So I I had this experience

557
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,200
to where when I got to fill in for Rush

558
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,920
Limbaugh for the first time, and I was working with

559
00:26:31,319 --> 00:26:35,440
that guy who you can't see on camera, Alex, that's Alex,

560
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,799
and I got this word, Hey, we're gonna ask you

561
00:26:38,799 --> 00:26:42,599
a film for Rush. And I did it and it's cool.

562
00:26:42,599 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 3: You guys go back that far by the way.

563
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, long time.

564
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 2: And the.

565
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: When the the I went to the studio and I

566
00:26:51,519 --> 00:26:54,400
was listening to the parodies of Rush, because he had

567
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,559
these parties that would run down the affiliates, like, you know,

568
00:26:56,559 --> 00:26:58,880
six hundred stations just to make sure that everyone's getting

569
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,279
to feed, so the aranizations to catch catch on. Okay,

570
00:27:01,279 --> 00:27:04,319
we're getting the EIB feed from New York. And it

571
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,559
was fine. And then I realized, oh my gosh, I'm

572
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:11,759
about to go on a program with the largest radio

573
00:27:11,759 --> 00:27:15,759
audience that, in all reality will ever exist twenty five

574
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:18,400
million people. I mean not all at once, but you know,

575
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,960
five ten million persons every fifteen minutes. And I dropped

576
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:29,079
to my knees and prayed. And when I stood up

577
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:36,720
and the parodies ended, and then there was silence, and

578
00:27:36,759 --> 00:27:41,519
then the beep of the satellites. All of a sudden,

579
00:27:42,599 --> 00:27:44,960
I was grossly nervous and dry mouth.

580
00:27:45,039 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 3: I mean that makes sense.

581
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:50,279
Speaker 1: And then when I heard boom boom boom boom boom boom, yeah,

582
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,279
and I believed fully in my soul that someone was

583
00:27:55,319 --> 00:27:56,440
going to walk in the door and go, oh wait

584
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,359
a minute. We didn't understand you're the redneck guy. No, no,

585
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,559
we can't have this is a big mistake. We thought

586
00:28:01,599 --> 00:28:04,640
you were someone else. But it occurred to me later

587
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,720
and Alex and I talked about this that I said

588
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,839
to you, do you remember this? I said, you know,

589
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,680
it's really weird. I prayed during Russia's show, but not ours,

590
00:28:11,559 --> 00:28:14,559
and you and I started to pray every morning before

591
00:28:14,599 --> 00:28:18,759
the show. And Alex is a very stout, firm man

592
00:28:18,799 --> 00:28:24,000
of God, and the show began to change, and I

593
00:28:24,039 --> 00:28:28,480
found it very difficult to not speak God's word on

594
00:28:28,519 --> 00:28:33,240
a consistent basis. And pastors weren't me about this. They said,

595
00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:36,839
you're going to find that you find it very hard

596
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,519
to speak about things other than God's word. So I

597
00:28:40,559 --> 00:28:42,119
have this theory with you, and I want to share

598
00:28:42,119 --> 00:28:44,000
this with you. I can't believe we didn't bring this in.

599
00:28:44,039 --> 00:28:46,440
And this is completely NION's fault. But she's a short timer.

600
00:28:46,519 --> 00:28:49,960
She's leaving, so don't get to be too harder. She

601
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,759
forgot to bring you the bone frog coffee. That's nay

602
00:28:51,799 --> 00:28:55,000
on it. She forgot to bring you the bone frog coffee.

603
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 3: I don't drink coffee.

604
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, okay, So that's a big problem. We're going

605
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:58,720
to fix that.

606
00:28:58,799 --> 00:28:59,599
Speaker 3: We're going to fix that.

607
00:29:00,119 --> 00:29:02,279
Speaker 1: Wait you drink coffee. Oh okay, so I'll get your

608
00:29:02,359 --> 00:29:05,640
dad the bone Frog fail benefit. Bone Frog Coffee is

609
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,720
a brand that contains great coffee. There's a difference here.

610
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,240
There are brands of coffee, and here's what they do.

611
00:29:12,799 --> 00:29:15,119
They go do a deal with people who make coffee

612
00:29:15,119 --> 00:29:17,559
and they say, hey, can we pretend that's our coffee.

613
00:29:17,559 --> 00:29:21,240
It's called private labeling, and they drop ship stuff and

614
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,680
they put a cool brand on it, maybe something to

615
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,839
do with, oh, I don't know, a firearm. And then

616
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,319
they say, oh, we defend the Second Amendments. And then

617
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,880
Kyle Rittenhouse uses his Second Amendment so it's not be

618
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,240
murdered by a couple of pedophile ANTIFA types, and then

619
00:29:35,279 --> 00:29:37,759
that same company says, oh, we don't stand with that

620
00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:43,119
use of the Second Amendment. That's weird. Bone Frog's not

621
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,720
going to back down from the brands because bone Frog

622
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,559
is the insignia of a fallen Navy seal and Tim Krookshank,

623
00:29:49,559 --> 00:29:51,920
the founder and CEO of bone Frog Coffee, is a

624
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,200
former Navy seal. He was a medical attached to the

625
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,079
seal teams and I know so let's to say Corman.

626
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,720
He says medic. You take it up with him. He

627
00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:01,880
was also a Buds instructor, teaching people how to be Seals.

628
00:30:02,839 --> 00:30:05,519
He will not skimp on the coffee. So he worked

629
00:30:05,519 --> 00:30:08,079
with Dave Stewart, who started Seattle's Best Coffee, which is

630
00:30:08,119 --> 00:30:10,599
a legendary coffee company. It was so good that Howard

631
00:30:10,599 --> 00:30:13,559
Schultz had to buy it when he went public to

632
00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:15,319
get it out of his way. The brand still exist

633
00:30:15,319 --> 00:30:19,519
because the coffee's better. So try this, Honor Tim, Honor

634
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,319
Navy Seals. If you drink coffee, try bone Frog. Get

635
00:30:22,359 --> 00:30:25,079
the six four out samples. You'll get ten percent off

636
00:30:25,119 --> 00:30:27,480
your first purchase. You go to Bonefrog Coffee dot com

637
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,319
slash todd. Now, if you're buying the coffee, and you're

638
00:30:30,359 --> 00:30:32,759
drinking the coffee and you haven't subscribed to the coffee,

639
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,000
I would tell you that you might be not as

640
00:30:35,039 --> 00:30:37,559
smart as you think you are. Just all due respect,

641
00:30:38,359 --> 00:30:41,920
because you could save fifteen percent on subscription coffee just

642
00:30:42,039 --> 00:30:44,880
by going to Bonefrog Coffee dot com slash todd. Buy

643
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,880
the subscription. Now you're getting the great coffee at a

644
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,640
cheaper price, and you're not a communist anymore. Bonefrog Coffee

645
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,799
dot Com, slash Todd.

646
00:30:53,279 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 3: It's a bonus.

647
00:30:54,079 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a bonus, right, no longer commonists. We'll get

648
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:57,559
some for your debt.

649
00:30:57,839 --> 00:30:58,319
Speaker 3: Awesome.

650
00:30:58,599 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: So here's my theory is, I think you got to

651
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:10,680
see and feel persecution. Now I'm not saying that you're

652
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,000
preaching the word of God when you had to put

653
00:31:12,039 --> 00:31:18,000
bowser down. But God does not call the equipped, so

654
00:31:18,039 --> 00:31:21,039
he equips the cold. And I think you live in

655
00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:24,960
a time of persecution, and I think your generation is

656
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,599
going to face much more of it than you would

657
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:31,599
ever ever imagine. And the Lord Jesus had told us effectively, look,

658
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,839
they hated me first, blessed are you when they persecute

659
00:31:35,839 --> 00:31:40,799
you in my name? And you're uniquely able to use

660
00:31:40,839 --> 00:31:43,880
the platform you've been given and the personality with which

661
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,319
God gifted you to begin speaking these things into a

662
00:31:47,359 --> 00:31:51,960
generation that they're chasing after teachers that their itching years

663
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:53,920
want to hear things. You live in a world where

664
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,119
pastors will say things that simply are not in the Bible,

665
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:03,200
and people don't know fifteen percent of Americans have a

666
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,519
biblical worldview, though I think about sixty five percent of

667
00:32:06,559 --> 00:32:10,119
people call themselves Christians and I think it's something along

668
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,480
the lines of seven and a half percent of youth

669
00:32:12,559 --> 00:32:18,920
pastors have an actual biblical worldview. That's creepy, right. So

670
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,359
I have this theory that you taste a little bit

671
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:26,640
of persecution and you live through it. Yeah, and you're

672
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,279
still Nikki and you still have a family that loves you,

673
00:32:29,319 --> 00:32:31,480
and you still have a husband who loves you. So

674
00:32:31,599 --> 00:32:32,440
that's my theory.

675
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not going to disagree with that. I

676
00:32:35,759 --> 00:32:38,920
think you know, when everything happened, which there was even

677
00:32:39,279 --> 00:32:41,200
I mean there was even more that came after that.

678
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,960
It was kind of like a punch and then a

679
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,200
double punch because leading up to that time, before we

680
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,880
had our son. Should I even go off on this, You.

681
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,599
Speaker 1: Go off on whatever you want. You're professional.

682
00:32:52,799 --> 00:32:54,319
Speaker 3: Sometimes I get a little paranlem because, like I said,

683
00:32:54,319 --> 00:32:55,960
I can go on for hours. So it's like, I

684
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,200
don't know what I'm about to say, how long?

685
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 1: I don't know what we need to do. We took

686
00:32:58,279 --> 00:33:00,960
the brown endmen's out of the dish. There, we got

687
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,839
your managements all fine with the limo and everything.

688
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,759
Speaker 3: I don't get the bread. Oh, like diva comment, you.

689
00:33:06,759 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: Don't get the van Halen thing.

690
00:33:08,119 --> 00:33:11,079
Speaker 3: No, I think about it in terms of jaloh.

691
00:33:11,359 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: Wait, you your dad was a successful studious You didn't

692
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,960
tell the van Halen story, the van Halen story. Van

693
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,160
Halen had a rider, okay, in their concert their concert

694
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,599
rider okay said that they wanted bulls of Eminem's with

695
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,160
all the broms from It's just to be jerk.

696
00:33:27,359 --> 00:33:29,079
Speaker 3: I did pick up on the vibe though, because while

697
00:33:29,119 --> 00:33:31,039
I'm not saying this is true, I've heard the same

698
00:33:31,039 --> 00:33:33,200
thing of j Lo. So that's kind of what I thought. Yeah,

699
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,599
I just saying that's true or whatever, but you know,

700
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,559
picky about the foods or whatever, which I'm picky about

701
00:33:38,559 --> 00:33:41,400
my foods too, it just wouldn't be Eminem's anyways. Wow,

702
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:45,559
back on focus. So after the Bowser situation, part of

703
00:33:45,559 --> 00:33:48,440
the reason it was so prolonged was not just that cancelation.

704
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,079
And this is I guess kind of along the lines

705
00:33:51,119 --> 00:33:53,720
of like the persecution and it really feeling like it

706
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:58,400
was targeted because of our faith. We had been going

707
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,880
on a journey for the previous like two years prior

708
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,880
to getting pregnant having my son, an adoption journey. Essentially,

709
00:34:05,079 --> 00:34:06,880
I had thought for a long time that I didn't

710
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,119
want to have any biological children. This is kind of

711
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,280
it's fascinating to me because it's kind of part of

712
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,480
this whole thing as well. I think it's kind of

713
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,519
in the same subject vein. And the reason I thought

714
00:34:16,519 --> 00:34:18,639
I didn't want to have biological children was very layered.

715
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,840
I dealt with chronic pain for a long time, so

716
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,519
that was part of it. I thought, man, having a

717
00:34:22,559 --> 00:34:25,039
baby's going to like ravage my body, and then part

718
00:34:25,039 --> 00:34:27,360
of it And I've actually referred to this is probably

719
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,159
like the biggest leftist lie I fell for, because even

720
00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:34,239
though I was from I'm from LA I've really kind

721
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,440
of always been more conservative. Like I told you, i'd

722
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,159
be driving to like an event listening to KFI like

723
00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:40,679
I've always been. I got married at twenty, you know,

724
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:44,239
I've always been more conservative. But at the time, the

725
00:34:44,519 --> 00:34:46,000
kind of, like I said, the biggest leftist lie I

726
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,320
fell for was thinking, okay, well, over population, like there's

727
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,840
too many people on the planet, there's not enough resources,

728
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,119
and holding hands with well, what's the big deal about

729
00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:58,719
my DNA? Why would I need to duplicate my own DNA? Like,

730
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,960
if there's all these kids that need homes, that need

731
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,320
moms and dads, like, why would I need to have

732
00:35:03,639 --> 00:35:05,880
any children? And now to me, those are almost you know,

733
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,960
separate things. There obviously are orphans kids that need moms

734
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:14,400
and dads. Now without going to conspiratorial through our journey,

735
00:35:14,599 --> 00:35:17,400
our eyes were opened a lot to oh, there is

736
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,679
corruption in our opinion, not only within CPS that we

737
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,719
started kind of seeing that's almost a yeah, separate topic,

738
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,000
but we experienced that. But also when we were looking

739
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,400
at adopting internationally, we confronted or we saw what we

740
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,559
started to believe, like, Okay, I think there might be

741
00:35:32,639 --> 00:35:35,559
human trafficking going on here. And you know, it wasn't

742
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,599
so clear that we could get on the internet and

743
00:35:37,599 --> 00:35:41,400
be like, hey, everyone, there's human trafficking happening here. But

744
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,960
stuff started presenting itself, and then we started reading certain

745
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,039
blog articles and encountering things that we were like, I

746
00:35:47,079 --> 00:35:50,679
think there might be trafficking going on here. Just very weird.

747
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,559
The whole idea of how many orphans there actually were,

748
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,519
the whole idea of how many kids actually needed to

749
00:35:57,519 --> 00:35:59,320
be ripped out of their homes in the States and

750
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,679
replace with new family it just all started being a big, giant,

751
00:36:03,159 --> 00:36:08,800
confusing pot of questions honestly and basically, after we had

752
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,599
gone through this whole journey of like looking at international adoption,

753
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,039
looking at domestic private adoption, looking at fostering with the

754
00:36:16,079 --> 00:36:19,119
possibility like fostering to adopt, we ended up getting through

755
00:36:19,119 --> 00:36:22,119
the end of our journey with this foster program, which

756
00:36:22,159 --> 00:36:24,119
was like it was a few months long, full of

757
00:36:24,119 --> 00:36:27,639
like blood work and psychological interviews and evaluations and letters

758
00:36:27,639 --> 00:36:31,760
written by family members. We had received a call from

759
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,159
the agency basically telling us that if we weren't willing

760
00:36:34,199 --> 00:36:35,920
to change the age range that we were willing to

761
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,039
accept that they didn't have a use for us. Now.

762
00:36:38,039 --> 00:36:41,360
On a side note, that was a completely different story

763
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,320
than what we had been told the whole time through

764
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,880
a journey, But I say all that to say that

765
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,360
was kind of the final thread for me, And I

766
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,679
was like, dude, am I sure that I don't want

767
00:36:49,679 --> 00:36:51,199
to have babies? Like I'm getting to the point now

768
00:36:51,199 --> 00:36:53,679
where I'm starting to get older? Are you sure? Nikki?

769
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,480
So we ended up trying for a child, got pregnant

770
00:36:57,519 --> 00:37:00,760
the first month. That decision was made really fast, But

771
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:05,559
after the cancelation happened with Bowser about two months after that,

772
00:37:06,119 --> 00:37:08,880
everything reared up again, but not in regards to Bowser.

773
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,280
A clip from a video that we had made when

774
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,800
we were documenting our adoption journey ended up going viral.

775
00:37:14,119 --> 00:37:17,760
They took about I think it's like thirty seconds out

776
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,039
of a video that was over an hour long. Now,

777
00:37:20,039 --> 00:37:22,199
besides the fact that the video was over an hour long,

778
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,400
that one video was part of a multi video series.

779
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,840
As you can maybe tell about me now from talking

780
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,880
to me, sometimes I'm honest to a fault. And when

781
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,880
we were going through looking at international adoption, we were

782
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,239
looking at different countries. You know, which country would be

783
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:40,360
the right fit. Every country has different requirements, different things

784
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,880
that they allow or don't allow, And one of the

785
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,360
countries that we had been looking at was Thailand, which,

786
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:50,639
ironically enough, we had actually been giving monetarily to a

787
00:37:50,639 --> 00:37:53,920
anti human trafficking program in Thailand for almost a decade.

788
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,760
My dad actually has visited the home over there, and

789
00:37:57,199 --> 00:38:00,239
in the video we had talked about like, hey, we

790
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,239
started looking at Thailand as an option, but now it

791
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,519
looks like Thailand's not gonna work either. And basically what

792
00:38:05,639 --> 00:38:07,320
happened was when we were going through all of the

793
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,639
things that were laid out, like the qualifications One of

794
00:38:10,679 --> 00:38:13,679
the things on the list was saying that the child

795
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,320
cannot appear online anywhere for a year or they will

796
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,639
take them back, or that you run the risk of

797
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,840
them taking them back. Now side note, I say this hesitantly.

798
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,519
You decide whether you want this in or not. That

799
00:38:25,599 --> 00:38:28,800
also smells to me a little odd, a little bit like,

800
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,000
why wouldn't you want the child on the internet for

801
00:38:31,039 --> 00:38:33,760
a year? Is it because they're gonna look the same

802
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,800
for about a year, they're gonna be more recognizable. Like,

803
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,440
this is weird to me. I'm not necessarily making that accusation,

804
00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:41,719
but it smelled really weird.

805
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: I never would have thought of that angle, but that's weird.

806
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 3: Apparently a lot of people didn't. And the reason we

807
00:38:48,079 --> 00:38:51,159
backed out though, was not, oh man, we can't put

808
00:38:51,199 --> 00:38:53,559
them in our vlogs, like this is our job for

809
00:38:53,599 --> 00:38:56,199
a living. If there were layers of an onion, yes,

810
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,239
we are online for a living. If they showed up

811
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,480
in the background or whatever, even that be a risk

812
00:39:00,519 --> 00:39:03,280
of them being taken back. Really, it was a very

813
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,960
level headed, my very level headed assistant who was like, Nikki,

814
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,360
you can't guarantee that, like a full what if you're

815
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,599
at a birthday party? What if? And this used to

816
00:39:10,639 --> 00:39:13,039
happen to me a lot back then. It doesn't happen

817
00:39:13,079 --> 00:39:15,119
so much now, partially because I spend a lot of

818
00:39:15,119 --> 00:39:18,199
my days at home with my newborn and being a milkmaker.

819
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,960
But back then, I would be out and about and

820
00:39:21,039 --> 00:39:23,320
I would come home and I would open up Twitter

821
00:39:23,559 --> 00:39:25,960
and someone has seen me out and taken a picture

822
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,920
of me, like, oh, I saw you, but I didn't

823
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:29,920
want to say hi. I was too nervous, and so

824
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,480
that's a picture that was taken. I mean, no big deal,

825
00:39:32,519 --> 00:39:35,280
but like without my consent, I didn't okay this, And

826
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,039
so my assistant was like, dude, you can't. You can't

827
00:39:38,119 --> 00:39:40,760
make that guarantee. You run the risk of taking a

828
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,320
child and then them being ripped apart from you again

829
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,559
because your lifestyle does not align with like the requirements

830
00:39:46,559 --> 00:39:49,199
that this country has laid out. So we tried to

831
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,840
explain that I maybe over explained, which I might be

832
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,519
doing right now, but I explained that in the video,

833
00:39:54,679 --> 00:39:57,320
they took a thirty second clip that made it basically

834
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,519
look like the reason we didn't adopt a child was

835
00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:03,519
because we couldn't exploit them quote unquote, and that blew

836
00:40:03,599 --> 00:40:06,159
up into its own thing, like literally all over again.

837
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:10,559
Cover of Fox News, CNN, MSNBC. So it was two

838
00:40:10,599 --> 00:40:13,880
basically two cancelations backed back within a two month period.

839
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,320
And so that's really, to my defense, why I cried

840
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,199
for four months, it's because it like it exploded. And

841
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,920
then we moved here actually shortly after, because when we

842
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,840
started getting so many death threats and had to file

843
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,079
police reports, my parents were like, what are you even

844
00:40:26,119 --> 00:40:28,880
doing there? Like just move here now, And we moved here,

845
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,519
and then everything blew up again in regards to the adoption.

846
00:40:33,199 --> 00:40:35,360
And it's crazy too because the internet's like a bad

847
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,440
game of telephone. Like I still I mean this last week,

848
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:42,079
I probably got this comment three to five times from

849
00:40:42,119 --> 00:40:45,159
people saying like, why should I listen to you the

850
00:40:45,199 --> 00:40:49,719
girl who returned a handicapped child because she couldn't tell oh,

851
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,599
she couldn't exploit them. I'm like, why we weren't even

852
00:40:51,639 --> 00:40:52,880
in the program? What are you talking about?

853
00:40:53,679 --> 00:40:57,679
Speaker 1: People quote know about us? It's crazy, right, there's some

854
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,559
things that I still get to this day, and I'll

855
00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:02,000
tell you about in a second. Nicki Philippi's with us.

856
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:07,039
You'll relate to this because we were just talking about

857
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,679
and you talk about I don't use the word handicapped

858
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,519
and understand why people do. It's a very very decent word.

859
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:17,559
In regard to a company we work with called Alan Soaps,

860
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,480
This is named after a young kid. He's thirteen, he's

861
00:41:20,519 --> 00:41:24,360
been through like eighteen operations, is effectively nonverbal, but a

862
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:28,559
brilliant kid and his dad. When Alan was in the womb,

863
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,880
his dad's name is John, the medical authorities came and

864
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,639
looked at the body structure that Alan had, and he

865
00:41:35,679 --> 00:41:39,679
has a very rare disease that makes his spine very

866
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:44,599
very unique, and he's gonna have all these neurological issues.

867
00:41:44,639 --> 00:41:46,239
They showed him the ultra sound and said that he

868
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:47,639
and his wife, Hey, why don't we kill the baby

869
00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:50,800
for you? Why don't we just do that because the

870
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,440
baby's not going to have any quality of life. This

871
00:41:53,559 --> 00:41:56,280
changed John and his wife. John was a very successful

872
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,679
digital marketer, and he realized, the world doesn't want my son.

873
00:42:00,679 --> 00:42:02,800
How's he ever going to work? And then when he

874
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,039
was born and it turned out he was so profoundly autistic,

875
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,320
state authorities would contact him, Hey, you know, we have

876
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,559
homes for him. We could storm someplace for you and

877
00:42:12,559 --> 00:42:15,320
you can get on with your life. And he had

878
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,480
this realization, Ah, gosh, my son's never going to work.

879
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:22,440
How's he going to sustain himself? So he left basically

880
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,599
the world of digital marketing, which he was very successful,

881
00:42:24,639 --> 00:42:27,559
and he said, what's a product everybody needs? Soap? He

882
00:42:27,599 --> 00:42:29,440
did not how to make it. So he interfaced with

883
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:32,519
a family who's from Europe. Three generations over here now

884
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,639
and three generations of soap making expertise. Alan invents the

885
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:39,679
soaps to the fragrances. Some of them come from well,

886
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:41,960
they come from his memories, things that mean something to him.

887
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:45,440
My favorite is cedarwood jasmine, and he was he remembered

888
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:49,119
the smell of that by going through his grandmother's memory

889
00:42:49,199 --> 00:42:54,199
chest and pulling out wedding pictures and so there's a

890
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,079
lot of very unique sense there's unsensed. So now you

891
00:42:57,119 --> 00:42:59,480
fast forward these years later, it's not one kid working

892
00:42:59,519 --> 00:43:02,960
there or young person, it's three and all of them

893
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,440
are people that the I called the party would have

894
00:43:05,519 --> 00:43:09,719
just thrown out. So the offer I make to viewers

895
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,960
listeners is this, you can continue to buy soap from

896
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,880
companies who wouldn't have done that, and that soap is

897
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,119
probably made by some slave labor. It is almost certainly

898
00:43:19,119 --> 00:43:22,039
not all natural, and they don't have the mission of

899
00:43:22,079 --> 00:43:25,639
hiring people like Alan and Ian and other people. This

900
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,280
place does. And it's better soap. It's all natural and

901
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,840
it's gentle. So go to Alan Soaps dot com slash todd.

902
00:43:31,079 --> 00:43:33,280
You get ten percent off everything there. And every time

903
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,840
you use this soap or the liquid soap Ian's blend.

904
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,800
Put that in your business. Gives you a great opportunity

905
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,760
to say, yeah to us, all lives actually do matter.

906
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,440
So it's Alan Soaps dot com slash todd. I was

907
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,639
talking to you about meeting the mob and about that

908
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,559
experience and what you've met and what you've been through.

909
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,360
And let's say one more instance, and then I want

910
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,599
to ask you a question. Okay. I was speaking at

911
00:43:58,639 --> 00:44:01,639
George Shown University and once again they came after my daughter.

912
00:44:02,559 --> 00:44:05,119
So I was setting up to speak and I had

913
00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:08,159
my desktop was showing on the on the projector behind me,

914
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,800
and there was a picture of my daughter and this

915
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,760
guy sitting in the front row says, and he's there early.

916
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,559
He goes, that's your daughter. Go, yeah, yeah it is.

917
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:21,679
So you give my speech and afterwards he raised his hand.

918
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,079
I said yeah. He goes, yeah, I'm the guy who

919
00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:28,239
asked if that was your daughter earlier. You know, I

920
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,480
hope she dies of throat cancer, and I hope there's

921
00:44:31,519 --> 00:44:34,360
nothing you can do for her. I hope it's painful

922
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,719
and it takes two or three years and there's nothing

923
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:40,440
you can do. And the place starts to boo. I mean,

924
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,800
to the defense of these college students. They start to boo.

925
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,400
I said, no, no, let them talk. He goes, well,

926
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,480
you don't want other people to have access to healthcare,

927
00:44:49,559 --> 00:44:54,559
so why should she? This is Obamacare. What a comparison, right,

928
00:44:55,360 --> 00:45:02,719
And I said, okay, well she's here. She's in the room,

929
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,519
so she's seated up in the back row, so honey,

930
00:45:05,559 --> 00:45:09,360
would you stand up? And people turned around and he

931
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,719
turned around and I said, yeah, I got you. She's

932
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:13,159
not really here because I wouldn't bring her in such

933
00:45:13,159 --> 00:45:18,519
a place. You're threatening a little girl because you say

934
00:45:18,519 --> 00:45:20,360
don't want people to have access to health care. I do.

935
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,199
I just don't think Obamacare will do that. I think

936
00:45:22,199 --> 00:45:24,360
it will destroy access to health care. And if that

937
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:28,519
doesn't explain my position, I'm pretty sure if you will

938
00:45:28,519 --> 00:45:31,280
need to take off the contact, Philip, watch that your

939
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,280
parents give you as part of your trust fund in

940
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,039
the three thousand dollars sweatsuit. I don't want it to

941
00:45:35,039 --> 00:45:36,960
get dirty. You and I could go out back and

942
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,840
we could probably figure this out real quick. Well, I

943
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,159
was just saying, I say, yeah, I know, you were

944
00:45:42,159 --> 00:45:46,840
just saying, so meeting the mob, you met the mob,

945
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:51,800
But then Jesus met the mob. And I think about

946
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,599
our Savior and the things that were no doubt said

947
00:45:55,599 --> 00:46:00,719
to him on the way to the cross, and yourself,

948
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:03,719
you saved others, save yourself. Look at you now, King

949
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:08,480
of the Jews, and that thing he said just before

950
00:46:08,519 --> 00:46:13,159
he died about his tormentors, forgive them, father, they know

951
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:19,480
not what they do. How are you with forgiveness?

952
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 3: Oh? I don't even know how to answer that question.

953
00:46:22,519 --> 00:46:24,679
That's that was a much more profound question than I

954
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:28,519
expected you to ask. I mean, I want to say uh,

955
00:46:29,159 --> 00:46:31,440
I want to say good like I'm not, you know,

956
00:46:31,679 --> 00:46:33,000
but that at the same time, I know that I'm

957
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,159
a sinner, and I know that you know. My feelings

958
00:46:36,199 --> 00:46:40,039
on the mob in general kind of changed day to day.

959
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,719
I will say, within the last few months, more than

960
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,480
more than anger at people, I've felt a lot of

961
00:46:46,519 --> 00:46:50,519
shame at times, and just embarrassment like I should have known,

962
00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:54,079
like why why did I share all of this? But

963
00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:56,440
I feel like God's lifted a lot of that from

964
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,280
me recently. So I don't. Yeah, I don't know. I

965
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,440
didn't expect you to ask that. I almost don't have

966
00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:02,039
an answer.

967
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:03,079
Speaker 1: How's your heart feel?

968
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 3: I mean depends on the day and the time.

969
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: How does it feel right now?

970
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:13,599
Speaker 3: Well, you asking me that, I guess it feels kind

971
00:47:13,599 --> 00:47:17,360
of kind of sad. I go towards sadness more than anger,

972
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:21,239
you know. I don't you know when you said that,

973
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,199
like I have kind of a soft touch. I don't

974
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,360
tend to go towards like I don't tend to be

975
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,679
a fighter. I don't tend to go as much towards

976
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:31,880
like anger and rage. I tend to more like shut

977
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,239
down and kind of fall under the weight of people's

978
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:36,960
hate and anger. You know. So when you've told me

979
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,559
your stories of confronting the mob and like how strong

980
00:47:39,559 --> 00:47:41,880
you've been, I'm like, man, I want to be more

981
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,320
like that because I kind of tend to like melt

982
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:44,800
under it.

983
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:47,679
Speaker 1: So wait, wait, you haven't melted.

984
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 3: You're sitting right here, thank you.

985
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,039
Speaker 1: You haven't melted and you are strong in a different way.

986
00:47:52,679 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate that.

987
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 1: I don't know that it's that strong to threaten the

988
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:56,719
jack a guy up.

989
00:47:57,119 --> 00:47:59,639
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I mean you said that to me last

990
00:47:59,679 --> 00:48:01,199
time too, And I was like, I'll take that. I

991
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:08,159
appreciate that, but yeah, I mean I don't sit and

992
00:48:08,199 --> 00:48:11,719
think about being angry at them all the time. Yeah, man,

993
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,280
I really don't even I feel like I'm at such

994
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,360
a loss for words. I don't even know what to say.

995
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: But forgive. This is such a weird process. I was

996
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:22,880
talking to my daughter about this. You know, she suffered

997
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:30,239
some significant harm and we had a sermon at church

998
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:31,920
and it was about forgiveness, and she and I were

999
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:37,599
visiting about that afterwards, and she said, well, some people

1000
00:48:37,639 --> 00:48:40,320
just don't deserve it. I don't want to do that.

1001
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,599
I don't want to call them and tell them. And

1002
00:48:42,639 --> 00:48:45,280
I said, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, you thought you

1003
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:52,360
have to tell them? She said, I don't. No, no,

1004
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:56,719
you tell Jesus. And let me ask you this, honey,

1005
00:48:56,800 --> 00:49:01,519
you forgiving them in confess into the Lord Jesus. What

1006
00:49:01,559 --> 00:49:11,119
does that do for them? She said? Nothing? Right? What

1007
00:49:11,159 --> 00:49:15,480
does it do for you? And I shared with her

1008
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,760
he who extends mercy will receive it. I'm not saying

1009
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,360
you're not a merciful person. I know you to be,

1010
00:49:25,119 --> 00:49:28,280
but that discovery to her that wait, I'm not doing

1011
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,719
this for them. Know you're doing this because you love Jesus.

1012
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:36,039
I wonder what our world would be like if we

1013
00:49:36,159 --> 00:49:38,639
forgave the big things as easily as sort of the

1014
00:49:38,639 --> 00:49:40,360
little things. What was done to you is not a

1015
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:44,760
little thing. It's a big thing. But for instance, what

1016
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,480
if we forgive political enemies in our heart every morning?

1017
00:49:48,559 --> 00:49:51,199
How different would our day be when we sit down

1018
00:49:51,199 --> 00:49:53,800
to concern political news and in advance say I forgive

1019
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,519
all these people for all the evil that's being done

1020
00:49:56,519 --> 00:49:59,760
through them. I mean, I don't want to go too deep.

1021
00:49:59,559 --> 00:50:01,639
Speaker 3: But no, I mean you're making my wheels turn and

1022
00:50:01,679 --> 00:50:03,159
you're kind of making me think about the fact this

1023
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,199
is like live on therapy or on screen therapy session. Okay,

1024
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,119
you're making me think about the fact that like maybe

1025
00:50:08,119 --> 00:50:10,920
I've been sitting more in a place of like don't

1026
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,760
be angry, like more neutrality type of thing, like let

1027
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,320
it go. But I've I mean, yeah, you're making me

1028
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,199
realize I've never I've never gone to the Lord in

1029
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:22,360
prayer and like asked for him to give me a

1030
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:24,760
feeling of forgiveness towards them, like help me to forgive them.

1031
00:50:25,079 --> 00:50:26,760
I've never done that. I think that's maybe why I

1032
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,719
was caught off guard, because I've really just been trying

1033
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:30,559
to sit in this camp of like, like I said,

1034
00:50:30,559 --> 00:50:34,360
more neutrality, like Okay, well you know they're in the wrong.

1035
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:37,199
Like I know my worldview, I know what I feel

1036
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,400
like the Lord has called us to do. But yeah,

1037
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,840
that's you're definitely giving me something to bring to God

1038
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,119
in prayer. That's really good.

1039
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: Good. Yeah, I think we owe it to ourselves to

1040
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,599
examine that, and I know that there's probably things I

1041
00:50:52,639 --> 00:50:56,360
should forgive to talk with this so close us off

1042
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,599
for us, Like what what do you think God is

1043
00:50:59,599 --> 00:51:02,039
calling you to do? Specifically? I know you've been pregnant

1044
00:51:02,079 --> 00:51:04,320
this you might not have an answer. Maybe it's continue

1045
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:05,840
to do what you're doing. You live in the high

1046
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:06,800
Mountains of Free American.

1047
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:08,800
Speaker 3: I love that you call it that, by the way,

1048
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:09,320
I think.

1049
00:51:09,199 --> 00:51:10,679
Speaker 1: That's kind of accurate, right.

1050
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:12,519
Speaker 3: I feel like it's a radio show host thing to

1051
00:51:12,559 --> 00:51:14,639
like have a name for the area, and I like

1052
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,599
the one you've coined. I'm like that's perfect.

1053
00:51:16,679 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 1: I know it's in a podcasting area, just supposed to

1054
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:20,559
start talking with the people.

1055
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 3: But I can't perfect.

1056
00:51:21,519 --> 00:51:23,079
Speaker 1: I love it, the little radio habits.

1057
00:51:23,199 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 3: I didn't mean that it's a slam. I like that

1058
00:51:24,559 --> 00:51:25,079
you named it.

1059
00:51:26,119 --> 00:51:30,320
Speaker 1: What do you think God is calling you to do professionally?

1060
00:51:30,679 --> 00:51:32,440
And I don't know that you separate that from being

1061
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:34,599
don't call yourself a milkmaker. I got it.

1062
00:51:34,679 --> 00:51:36,880
Speaker 3: I know.

1063
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 1: I'm sure that women who have to.

1064
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 3: Be It is one of my top jobs in life

1065
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,239
right now. Which actually, you know, when I was talking

1066
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,840
about the adoption thing, it's incredible because what that the

1067
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,239
path that that led me down, I did not expect

1068
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,079
in a million years. I did not realize that that

1069
00:51:52,119 --> 00:51:54,239
would lead me towards okay, yes, just you know, having

1070
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,360
my own biological child. No, that led me on the

1071
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,599
path towards this whole world of medical freedom, this whole

1072
00:51:59,599 --> 00:52:02,480
world like oh, in my opinion, I'm a little bit

1073
00:52:02,559 --> 00:52:04,480
radical when it comes to the birth thing. My eyes,

1074
00:52:04,519 --> 00:52:07,599
in my opinion, have been opened to the fact that

1075
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,119
birth is something, and I realize there are emergencies. This

1076
00:52:10,199 --> 00:52:12,960
is not a shaming thing for women that have had

1077
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:16,079
actual emergencies, and praise God for the hospitals when there

1078
00:52:16,119 --> 00:52:18,840
really are emergencies. But I think that it's something that

1079
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:22,800
God made women to do that has completely been twisted

1080
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,639
and altered and the whole experience has been I mean, dude,

1081
00:52:25,639 --> 00:52:26,960
I could go off on a whole thing about that,

1082
00:52:27,079 --> 00:52:29,159
and I did not expect that, like having my babies

1083
00:52:29,159 --> 00:52:32,400
at home. The minute I met them, it was such

1084
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,599
a like almost one of my first thoughts was, this

1085
00:52:35,639 --> 00:52:37,480
is why they don't want people to have babies. Like,

1086
00:52:37,519 --> 00:52:40,000
even if I hadn't had that natural birth experience, I

1087
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,400
think it's still the same thing. But I think that

1088
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,519
all of it kind of builds together and holds hands

1089
00:52:44,559 --> 00:52:48,280
and it's like, wow, this natural birth experience in my environment,

1090
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,159
in my home, grabbing my baby and holding them. It's like,

1091
00:52:51,599 --> 00:52:53,639
I mean, it's one of the closest feelings I've ever

1092
00:52:53,679 --> 00:52:56,079
had to God, because this person just comes out of

1093
00:52:56,119 --> 00:52:58,760
you and you're like what, they're looking at you, they're crying,

1094
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,639
they're making noise, and you're like a brand new person,

1095
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,519
Like what it's I mean, I have chills because it

1096
00:53:05,679 --> 00:53:09,400
was so soul altering and so yes, the milkmaker joke

1097
00:53:09,559 --> 00:53:11,679
is a joke, but that's a whole other thing. I

1098
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,199
could go off on, like a rant about formula and

1099
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:16,079
the lies that have been sold to women about their

1100
00:53:16,119 --> 00:53:19,719
bodies not working properly, and what milk like the fact

1101
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:23,440
that God made us to make that milk for our babies.

1102
00:53:23,679 --> 00:53:26,159
Immune systems are meant to be built a certain way,

1103
00:53:26,199 --> 00:53:28,280
and I think that making milk is part of that.

1104
00:53:28,679 --> 00:53:31,760
So I am kidding, and that I'm not kidding because

1105
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:33,840
I do believe that is one of the top jobs

1106
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:35,960
that God has for me right now, is establishing my

1107
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,320
baby's lives through being a milkmaker.

1108
00:53:38,679 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 1: No, that's perfect. No, but the fake people are making

1109
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,639
another run at breast milk is not healthy.

1110
00:53:45,679 --> 00:53:48,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh exactly, We're going to give you some unbelievable.

1111
00:53:48,119 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 1: And they did that early on. They did that to me.

1112
00:53:50,119 --> 00:53:53,320
My mom gave into that, I think because a pediatrician said, right,

1113
00:53:53,599 --> 00:53:56,719
And but the powder, the powder, missus Herman.

1114
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:58,039
Speaker 3: I know it's going to be so much, and I

1115
00:53:58,119 --> 00:53:59,199
know you and I are on the same page in

1116
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:00,719
regards to all of that. I seen you talk enough

1117
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,239
about this where I'm like, Okay, he gets it. Yeah,

1118
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:04,840
But I didn't mean to not answer your question. To

1119
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,480
answer your question, which is kind of still a non answer,

1120
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:09,119
but it's a little bit of an answer. You know.

1121
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:13,239
You had me start that book Experiencing God, and I'm

1122
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,599
going through it slowly. It takes me a minute. I'm

1123
00:54:15,599 --> 00:54:18,039
also in another Bible study right now, but in I

1124
00:54:18,039 --> 00:54:21,440
think it was chapter one, he talks about, really what

1125
00:54:21,599 --> 00:54:24,519
my answer is to you, which is that we don't

1126
00:54:24,599 --> 00:54:27,519
have to know the whole plan in order to move forward.

1127
00:54:28,039 --> 00:54:30,760
And what I have known for the last three years

1128
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:34,639
since the cancelation happened is like, Okay, my path forward

1129
00:54:34,679 --> 00:54:37,920
is not super clear, but God has made it clear

1130
00:54:38,039 --> 00:54:40,800
to me, my husband and my immediate family that I'm

1131
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,679
not supposed to stop. You know, we did some marriage

1132
00:54:43,679 --> 00:54:47,599
counseling after everything went down, and it was pastoral counseling,

1133
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,039
and the pastor echoed the same sentiment. He's like, dude,

1134
00:54:50,039 --> 00:54:53,159
if your husband, your family, you are not getting because

1135
00:54:53,159 --> 00:54:55,239
I'm like, maybe this is a sign I'm supposed to stop.

1136
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:57,320
He's like, no, I don't think that's what's going on

1137
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,719
if you're not getting a clear like stop. And so

1138
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,199
at this point, I don't know where God's bringing me,

1139
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,119
but I'm continuing to move forward. I am very passionate

1140
00:55:06,199 --> 00:55:08,199
as you can tell about a lot of topics. So

1141
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:11,239
I'm going to continue to share, keep creating, praying for

1142
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:15,000
God's wisdom and guidance. But I don't have a clear

1143
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,119
trajectory like this is what I'm doing, see you all

1144
00:55:18,159 --> 00:55:20,639
there in four years, you know, five years. So I'm

1145
00:55:20,679 --> 00:55:22,800
just going to keep going forward and see what where

1146
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:23,440
God leads me.

1147
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,360
Speaker 1: It will involve I'm predicting and far for me to

1148
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:30,920
put God. It will evolve communicating and involve this great

1149
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,719
skill that He's given you, this conversational skill of people

1150
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,719
listening feel like they're being talked with. So I appreciate

1151
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:40,199
you coming on and what you're doing, and I accept

1152
00:55:40,639 --> 00:55:42,639
your kind offer to be on your program, which is

1153
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:45,320
on YouTube much more successful than mine. But I beat

1154
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,760
you in the audio sphere exactly, Beach in the audiosphere.

1155
00:55:48,199 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 3: Dude, I appreciate you bringing me on. You are the

1156
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,480
first person really I've had. I've had kind of a

1157
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,840
conversation about this with my friend Abby, but I haven't

1158
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:58,599
really gotten to talk about this with people. And I've

1159
00:55:58,639 --> 00:56:00,599
been saying since I met you, like mom, I think

1160
00:56:00,639 --> 00:56:03,119
he is the perfect person to talk about this with

1161
00:56:03,199 --> 00:56:05,280
because he gets it. So I appreciate you bringing me

1162
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,320
on your show. I'm really excited to interview you on mine.

1163
00:56:08,559 --> 00:56:10,360
You're actually going to be the first episode of my

1164
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:14,119
brand new, relaunched podcast, so that's going to be exciting.

1165
00:56:14,119 --> 00:56:15,679
And I just I appreciate you and the work you're doing.

1166
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 1: Thank you, Nickie. Appreciate it all right, this is the

1167
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:21,239
Todd Herman Show. Please go, be well, be strong, be kind,

1168
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,719
and please make every effort to walk in the life

1169
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:24,119
of Christ.